Because of you
by Banksiesbabe99
Summary: They met one night in a bar & immediately they felt a spark.The only problem is...She met his Brother 1st!Can feelings just be turned off?Can he cope with the selfless act she is taking on for his family...Rated R for future LEMONS
1. Bad Day

Disclaimer : I don't own anything, though I do wish I owned Robert Pattinson and a nice Silver Volvo lol.

Chapter 1 – Bad Day

_You stand in the line just to hit a new low  
You're faking a smile with the coffee to go  
You tell me your life's been way off line  
You're falling to pieces every time  
And I don't need no carryin' on  
Cause you had a bad day_

_Daniel Powter – Bad day_

"I'll have a beer and a shot of tequila." She told the bartender.

It had been one of those days. You know, those days where you wake up feeling like crap, and knowing it just isn't going to get any better. She had partly expected it. She didn't need to look at the calendar to know what today was. As if she could _ever_ forget. But as people say, life does go on, and she had tried not to dwell too much on the significance of the day.

So with an air of stubbornness, that she could have only inherited from her Dad, she had gone about her day as per her usual routine. That was where she hit her first stumbling block. Half way through her morning shower, with hair full of shampoo, the creaky old pipes groaned, immediately cutting off the hot water, spraying her with ice cold water. Whilst standing there for a few moments hoping the hot water would reappear, soap had trickled down her face straight into her eyes, causing stinging, irritating pain.

Having fumbled through the remainder of her shower, muttering obscenities under her breath, she wrapped her big bath sheet around herself, before picking up her blow dryer and began to try to tame her hair. The appliance hadn't been on thirty seconds when with a quick pop, the heat immediately ceased. She flipped it's switch numerous times in hope, even trying a different socket, but it was no use.

Thankfully she managed the rest of her routine without any further dramas, though even she knew that it would be unlikely for her to get through the rest of the day without further incidents. On her way out of her building, she popped down to see the superintendent, yet again about her wonderful cold shower. She had reported the problem a few times, but as expected, he had done nothing about it as of yet. Unsurprisingly, when he failed to answer the door, she knew the problem would remain unsolved for yet another day. Damn super.

Finally arriving at work only ten minutes late, she dashed to her desk hoping her tardiness would have gone unnoticed by Jane her boss. Usually Jane was relaxed about this type of thing, especially considering it was rare if ever that she was late. But the past few weeks, Jane had been very uptight, picking up on every little thing. Not that anyone could blame her. The 'big wigs' of the firm were due to visit any day now, and since this was their first visit since her promotion, into what had always been a males job, she was determined to prove she was equally as capable as her predecessors.

Sitting in her chair with a sigh, she turned her computer on and waited for it to warm up. There was a huge pile of work in her in-tray, work that she knew had not been there the day previous. Looking at it with a scowl, she picked up the first transcript and leafed through the first few pages. Another sigh escaped her as she realized how much work she had for the day. Dropping the transcript back in her in-tray for now, she logged into her emails.

"You looked like you could use this." A steaming cup of coffee was placed in front of her.

"Angela... thank you." She forced a smile, trying to blink away the tears that had crept into her eyes.

She was grateful for more than just the beverage. Angela had been her close friend throughout high school. Whilst Angela had stayed in Washington to attend college so she could stay together with her then boyfriend, and now husband, Ben, she had travelled across the country to attend college in Arizona. Of course they had stayed in touch, albeit irregularly from time to time, when either of their work loads got chaotic, but it was sheer coincidence when she had accepted the job, and found Angela working there on her first day, six months ago.

Regardless of the miles between them, Angela had been the one she had turned to, two years ago. She had been the one who had picked her up at the airport, holding her when it felt like her life was falling apart. And now, here she was, ready and willing to pick up the pieces if needs must.

"You didn't think I'd forget did you?" Angela asked with a sympathetic smile. "We'll take as many bathroom breaks as you need today, 'kay." And with that she sat down at her own desk opposite her and continued with her work.

With the resolve that she just needed to get on with things, she worked through her emails, deleting the junk, and responding to the urgent ones, before she began working through the stack of paper work in the tray. For the most part, people left her alone. Though she knew it wasn't general knowledge to most of what this day to her represented, she could only assume that between the look on her face, and quite probably Angela warning their colleagues to give her a wide birth, kept them away.

During her lunch hour, instead of joining everyone, and promising Angela she would eat something, she watched everyone leave the office, before picking up her phone and dialling that ever so familiar number.

"Forks police department, June speaking how can I help?"

"Hi June, it's Bella, did he come in today?" She asked, though she already knew the answer.

"Hi Hun, how are you doing?" The receptionist responded, not even bothering to answer her question, already knowing she knew.

"Yeah, I'm doing ok. Keeping busy." She replied. "How is he?"

"Quiet, which you know, is no different for Charlie. He hasn't left his office all morning. I've peeked in once or twice, and he's just going through the motions. I've told him to go home once or twice, but he refuses."

"Sounds like Dad." She chuckled humourlessly. "Can you put me through to him please?"

"Sure thing Hun, you take care of yourself, you hear."

"I will, you too." She agreed before she heard the clicking of the transfer.

She hated that she was so far away from her Dad on today of all days. But they were both too stubborn to recognise that they needed each other. He refused to go to Seattle to see her, and she didn't want to go to Forks to see him. Well not so much to see him, but the memories were just too much in that quaint little town. She only returned at Christmas, and ended up leaving early. She felt as though she was suffocating there. There was just no escape. Everyone looked at her sympathetically, yet barely spoke a word to her, scared that she would break.

"Bells?"

"Hey Dad. How you doing?"

"I'm ok. Are you ok? Keeping safe?" He worried like any Father would.

"Your ok, really Dad? Do I need to call Sue?" She threatened, knowing he would never admit to his pain without a little shove.

Sue, was Sue Clearwater. Charlie had been good friends with her late husband, Harry, for years. He had passed away about five years ago now. Charlie had stepped in to help Sue out as much as he could, and a strong friendship had blossomed between the two. Sue was now helping to take care of Charlie, much to her relief, since Charlie was neither use nor ornament in the kitchen. The man could practically burn water, and without Sue, she knew he would be eating steak and cobbler at the diner every night.

"Well I'm just trying to stay busy, you know." He admitted begrudgingly.

"Yeah, I do." And she did.

She and Charlie were so much alike. Both had such stubborn streaks, to the point it was frustrating for those close to them. Even worse they frustrated each other with their non giving in nature. Charlie was a quiet man, and though she too was quiet, she had never been quite so reserved as he. Charlie struggled expressing his feelings outwardly, though those close to him never once questioned his love for them. She on the other hand didn't have so much of a problem expressing her feelings to others, she was just very careful who she let in.

"Are you looking after yourself? Keeping safe? You know I still don't like you living in the city on your own."

Dislike wasn't the word she would choose when it came to her Dad's feelings on her living in Seattle. She wasn't even sure despise was a strong enough word. He constantly worried about her. She was his baby girl, and he was the Chief of Police. He had a wealth of knowledge when it came to crimes in big cities, and of course his imagination ran wild and he imagined her to be the victim in each of those crimes.

She could remember the day when she had told him she had accepted a place in Arizona. Man did he hit the roof. He tried telling her she wasn't going. He tried every trick in the book possible, to stop her from going. Coming home every night with crime statistics. But nothing deterred her. Even a last ditch effort on his behalf was him threatening to cut her off, but even as he said it, they both knew it wouldn't make the slightest bit of difference. She was more than willing and able to stand on her own two feet.

Straight after she graduated high school, he tried to teach her self defence. Though after only two hours he gave in, and simply signed her up for a proper class that was to last all summer. How she hated him the moment he told her what he had done. She didn't say anything though, if it meant he was a little more willing to let her go.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Really."

"Well... that's good. Listen." He cleared his throat, something he always did when he was nervous. "I was thinking, maybe in a few weeks we could, you know have dinner."

This was always the part of their conversations she hated. He wanted her to visit, she wanted to visit, but she just couldn't help but dread the idea of going back.

"It's just, I have some time owed me, so I was thinking maybe that nice restaurant you like in Port Angeles or maybe somewhere in Sequim." He added before she could make an excuse for herself not to go home. He cleared his throat again, before he continued. "I um, well I know why you don't like coming home, and I respect that. But I miss you Baby."

"I miss you too Daddy, so much." She admitted, the tears that had been in her eyes throughout most of their awkward conversation finally overflowed down her cheeks. "I'd love to have dinner with you. Soon, okay?"

Not long after, they said their goodbyes, before hanging up. She sobbed openly, as she stared at the phone. She had known even before ringing her Dad, that the conversation was never going to be an easy one, but she hadn't been prepared for the onslaught of emotions that had hit her.

She wished she was brave enough to have headed home to see him. She wished he had been willing to come to Seattle to see her. Most of the time he declined her offer to come and spend the weekend due to work, then there was his plans with Sue or Billy Black and fishing. She knew he would never admit it, but he just felt too out of his depth in such a big city. Add that onto this one day of the year, she already knew the answer.

He was all she had though, in way of family. Of course she had Angela and Ben here in the city, and a few other close friends, but the only family she had left in the world was her Dad. A Dad she had rarely seen since she left for college four years ago. Of course she stayed in touch regularly, spoke albeit a few minutes of conversation, every week on the phone. She spoke to Sue, his friend slash girlfriend, every week too. Sue was her only ally in finding out the truth on how well her Dad truly was.

She smiled as she thought of Sue. While Charlie had always remained steadfast in not allowing his Daughter full insight into his private life, she had known there was slightly more than just a blossoming friendship between the two. Even Sue's two children, Leah and Seth, whom she also spoke to intermittently, acknowledged the romance between their parents. It was only last year that he finally announced to her, that he was dating Sue. She never asked how long it had been going on, or the extent of his feelings for her. Instead she simply told him she was happy he had found someone, and that it was about time.

She wasn't sure why he had felt the need to keep the blossoming romance with Sue away from her. It wasn't like he was a serial dater. In fact, growing up, she had never known him to go on a date, he barely even went out drinking with his work buddies, determined to spend as much time at home as possible, trying to make up she presumed for her Mothers lack of presence. Though this never stopped him having his regular fishing trips with Billy and the late Harry.

"Bella, when you've..." Jane's voice startled her.

Bella quickly wiped the tears from her face, but she knew Jane had caught her in her moment of fragility.

"Are you ok?" Clearly she wasn't, but Jane had never been any good at dealing with overly emotional people or situations.

"Oh um, yeah. I'll be fine. It's just a bad day. Silly really." Bella stuttered back, not wanting to draw more attention to her weakness, than had been already.

"Oh, ok, well why don't you head to the bathroom before everyone gets back from lunch." was Jane's response.

Without another word, Bella got to her feet and scurried off to the bathroom as Jane had suggested. The last thing she needed was everyone in the office seeing her blotchy face, and know she had been crying. She could cope with Angela knowing, but everyone else would only ask questions that she really didn't need or want to answer right now.

Standing over the sink, staring at her blood shot eyes, and tear stained face, she began to wish she hadn't come into to work today. A day hid under the duvet, where she could safely cry her eyes out without fear of questioning looks, or pitying glances, right now sounded much better, than being here, surrounded by people with their stupid fickle little problems, whilst pretending that she gave a damn.

Before she could wash away the mascara stains that ran down her cheeks, the bathroom door pushed open slightly, revealing the worried face of Angela. Without a word, she stepped fully into the room, locking the door securely behind her, before wrapping her arms tightly around her friend, no explanations needed. With just this simple gesture, Bella once again broke down in tears.

The two friends didn't emerge for another half an hour, and though a few people around the office looked at them suspiciously, they soon turned their glances away when Angela gave them a warning scowl. She would not allow anyone to upset her, today especially.

She hated that she had, had a fully fledged emotional break down. All she had wanted, was to get through the day, keeping up the façade that everything was fine, before returning home and wallowing in her own pity. But no, she couldn't even manage to do that. She liked to think it was the phone call to her Dad, that had set her off, but if she was truthful, it was most likely the raw emotions of the day alone that had continued to pile up on her badly constructed dam.

Thankfully she made it through the rest of her working day without further breakdowns, though this was due in part to the fact she barely looked at Angela and tried her hardest to concentrate on her work. She declined Angela's offer to go for dinner with herself and Ben. The last thing Bella needed was to spoil their evening with her depressing mood.

Choosing to walk, rather than catch a cab, she set off down the main road, glancing occasionally into the store windows. Having never been one for shopping, she couldn't help but admit some of the items were rather pretty, and most of them far from her price range. But as she always said, it didn't cost to look.

She wasn't sure what caused the urge, but the moment she saw the bar across the street, the thought of a strong drink to drown her sorrows in, somehow became a very good idea. It wasn't a particularly up scale bar, definitely not a cocktail bar, but not quite a sports bars either, though it was more like the latter than the former.

"That's six fifty." The bar tender told her, as he placed her two drinks in front of her.

"Keep the shots coming." She replied as she placed a twenty dollar bill on the bar.

After slamming her third shot back, the bar tender filled her up once more. She was already onto her second beer, and was basking in the buzz the alcohol was giving her.

"Ah, a woman after my own heart." A rough masculine voice boomed from a few stools down.

She looked up at the owner of the voice to see a huge hulk of man. He was about six foot plus, broad shouldered, dark hair shaved close to his head, and the bluest eyes she had ever seen. What caught her attention though was the big smile, and the small dimples on either side of his mouth. Such a cheeky, boyish smile, but it suited him well.

"I aim to please." She replied, holding her beer up in a silent toast to him.

"Hey Alec, another round here". His voice boomed across the bar, as he sided up beside her. "On me." He flashed her the cheeky smile again.

"Oh no, that's really not..." she began to argue.

"It's fine, my friend owns the bar, free drinks for us both." His smile got unbelievably wider and cheekier, if that was at all possible.

She barely paid attention when the bartender, she now knew as Alec placed their drinks down in front of them, and answered her drinking partners query as to whether he had seen his Brother. The answer seemed to be a negative one, though you wouldn't have thought so by the big bears response, as he announced that she was more fun than him anyway.

"So not that I'm trying to pick you up, because I am... after all." He told her, wiggling his wedding finger at her, where a solid white gold band sat. "That and the fact that if I was, we'd already be half way to your place by now," He laughed loudly.

"You think so do you?" She asked, raising her eyebrow at him, though she couldn't help her smile. "Think a lot of yourself there don't ya bear?"

"The names Emmett, and yes, yes I do. But wouldn't you if you had a body this smokin'?"

She couldn't help it, she burst into laughter. She wanted to thank whatever deity that had brought him to her tonight. He was just what she needed. The fact that he didn't even know her, but he was comfortable enough with himself to be able to make jokes at his own expense in front of her. She had never met anyone like him.

"I'm Bella." She offered him, after their laughter calmed. "Thank you." She added.

"What for?" He asked genuinely.

"For making me smile, laugh, and oh just for five minutes forgetting my woes." Even as she said it, she couldn't help but returning his smile. It truly was infectious.

The next half an hour was filled with Emmett continually cracking jokes, and tried his hardest to keep the smile on her face, most at his expense. It was only when she asked him what he was doing in the bar, when he could be at home with his wife, that his smile faltered, though only slightly, before he seemed to force the smile to stay in place.

"Er, I came to have a few drinks with my Brother, who seems to have turned into the invisible man, you know drown my sorrows... try to forget my woes." He directed the last part at her.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize."

"It's fine. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger right?"

"So they say." But truth be known, she wasn't sure any more. "So I know you barely know me, but I have a perfectly good pair of ears." She offered. It was the least she could do, the man had been getting her free drinks all evening.

"It's fine, nothing that won't sort itself out eventually. Besides, sounds like you have your own troubles." It wasn't quite an invitation for her to tell him, but she could tell the offer was there, if she chose to accept it.

"You know what they say, a problem shared is a problem solved." She responded as lightly as she could, trying to take the attention away from herself.

"I... Er... Well, it's nothing major I suppose". He stumbled, clearly uncomfortable.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to force you to tell me. If you'd rather not, that's ok."

"Ugh. You know when you meet the girl of your dreams... or boy in your case." Emmett started to explain. "Oh wait no, shit. Sorry I didn't mean to assume you."

"It's fine, it's ok. Definitely boy in my case." She told him with a smile.

"You know how some people are just meant to be something in life?" He struggled to explain again. "My Rosie, she... ah well she was made to do the one thing, that I can't give her." He finally blurted out, though quite cryptically.

She thought she knew what he was talking about, though she wasn't one hundred percent sure, and by no means was she willing to assume. Her face must have shown her confusion as he began trying to explain further.

"We've been married for three years now, though we've been together for seven, since we were barely eighteen. Rosie, well she's the most perfect woman I've ever met, excluding my Mom of course and your good self." He smiled slyly at her. "I mean she's beautiful, smart, sexy, funny, knows more about cars that the average male. She's every guys dream, and she picked me." He sounded somehow surprised, yet grateful. "She's given me so much, it kills me, that I can't give her the one thing she was put on this Earth to do".

The cheerful Emmett of a mere fifteen minutes ago was nowhere insight. Instead a melancholy Emmett had taken his place. It was an odd transformation really. It didn't suit him, almost like this mood was a pair of pants that didn't fit him.

"We've been trying for a baby for so long, and it just never happened. So after a while, we went, you know to do all the routine check-ups, and as it turns out, we can't have 'em." He sounded so broken.

"Oh Emmett I'm so sorry." Was all she could say, and even then she felt it wasn't enough. "Have you... Have you tried any treatments?"

"Oh yeah, we've had them all. Nothings worked. We did our last one today, but the Doctors aren't hopeful."

"I'll keep my fingers crossed for you."

"I think we'll need more than that B." He chuckled, though she could tell it was forced.

"Look, I know it's not my place to say this. But please don't let this tear you and your wife apart." He looked at her incredulously, as though the thought had never crossed his mind. "There are always other options. I know... I know it's not the same thing, but the end result is."

"Oh yeah, and what are these options?"

"Well... er... surrogacy."

"Surrogacy?"

"Yeah, I mean obviously, I don't know whether it is an option for you, but basically it's your child, you just have someone else to carry it." She told him. "Then there's adoption, fostering. I know they technically wouldn't be yours by blood, but being the biological parent of a child doesn't make you a parent, that just makes you a donor."

"Are you a Doctor or something? How'd you know so much about this kinda stuff?" For the first time since mentioning his problems, he looked as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"Oh um no. I just... I um do some voluntary work for 'Bridges to Babies', it's an organisation that helps couples like yourself. If you search it on the web, you can email or call and get more information. Set up meetings with the Doctors on the program who'll talk you through the process and stuff like that. It might be worth a shot."

"You know what Bella, you are a diamond in the rough girl. I'm going home right now to tell Rosie. She was so down earlier that we were running out of options." He told her, as he stood from his stool.

"Listen, Emmett. I really hope this works out for you. But remember don't let the problem come between you and your partner. There is always other options out there." She couldn't help but warn.

"Thank you Bella." He leant forward and kissed her cheek. "Alec, free drinks for the rest of the night!" He shouted down the bar, as he pointed to her.

She watched him leave, a new bounce to his long stride. In turn of helping him with his problem, she felt as though a tiny bit of weight had been lifted from her own shoulders. For the last hour as she had been talking with him, she had allowed herself to forget her own issues. It was nice to be able to focus on something other than herself for a while.

She had somewhat sobered up as she had been speaking with Emmett. Though it was hardly surprising considering how serious their conversation had become. She glanced at her watch, seeing that it was getting late, she decided to have one last drink, before she left.

Without even having to get Alec's attention, she looked up to see he had already placed another beer and shot in front of her, stepping away with a wink and a nod. She downed the shot, scrunching her face up in the bitter taste, before slamming the shot glass back on the bar in front of her.

She was half way down her bottle of beer, when she noticed a head of coppery, brown hair approach the bar, gesturing for Alec. Through her alcohol induced haze, she couldn't help but check him out. He a slight build, clearly muscular, though in nowhere as bulky as Emmett had been. His black pants hugged his shapely bottom, secured at his waist by a black belt. He wore a pale blue dress shirt, the top two buttons of the collar open, showing the beginnings of his well defined chest. He looked as though he had just stepped out of the GQ magazine.

She surreptitiously watched the two men converse, as she drank slowly from her bottle. She had the perfect view of Mr. GQ and she was going to enjoy it while she could. Taking her last few gulps of beer, she watched as he took the beer Alec had offered, and turned to face her, giving her what can only be described as a panty dropping smile.

And just to top her more than horrendous day off, instead of being a normal person and giving him an equally dazzling smile in return, she inhaled the mouthful of beer, and began coughing and spluttering. What a great impression that was.

"Are you ok?" The most smoothest, sexiest voice she ever heard, asked as a gentle hand tapped her back.

Her immediate thoughts were she had died of inhaling beer, and had been lucky enough to end up in heaven, with their own version of the perfect Adonis.

"Miss?" The voice questioned again.

"Yes... um... thank you." She stuttered between coughs.

"Can I get you another drink?"

She stared at him, not quite believing this perfect specimen of a man was currently perched on a stool beside her, offering to buy her a drink. She very nearly spun in her chair to look for any candid camera. It was unheard of, for someone as handsome as he, to even register that she was in their vicinity let alone utter a single word to her.

She shot back to reality when he cleared his throat, obviously awaiting her answer. Just the clearing of his throat sent her into another daze, having his Adams apple bobbing, which in turn lead her line of sight to his strong jaw. It wasn't wide, but had the chiselled look to it, the five o'clock shadow making his sex appeal reach yet another level. He had the most kissable lips she had ever seen, such a pale shade of pink. His nose slightly crooked, but it suited him. Then his eyes, they literally took her breath. It was like staring in to two perfectly round emeralds. Never before had she seen eyes so green.

"Miss! Are you sure you're ok?"

"Oh, yes sorry. I just had an errant thought." She excused herself. "I was just actually about to... you know what, I think I will have that drink with you, Mr..."

"Edward." He offered.

"Thank you Mr. Edward, I will have the same again."

"No, no, it's just Edward. No Mr. Just Edward." He smiled at her, clearly suppressing a laugh.

"Ah, well Just Edward, I am Bella." She thrust her hand toward him, though in her drunken state she hadn't factored in his closeness, and ended up jabbing him in the stomach.

It all seemed to happen in slow motion, the moment her hand hit his stomach, though she was fairly certain that she hadn't hit him too hard, but clearly hard enough for him to expel the air from his lungs, and lurch forward, bending at the waist.

She was beyond mortified at her inability to be a graceful drunk. Not that she was graceful sober, but still. Clearly her mind had detached itself from her body, allowing it to do such stupid things.

She apologized profusely to him, as she began sliding out of her stool to step closer to him, wanting to help in any way, though even she could tell she would be of no use. Thankfully he recovered quickly, trying to laugh her unfortunate movement off, before calling to Alec for another round.

Over the course of the following hour, four rounds of shots and beers later, there was a palpable spark between them. After the initial awkwardness, conversation had flowed easily between the two, almost as though they had known each other years, not a mere hour.

She had told him more about herself in the short amount of time, than she had told most of her work colleagues. However she had omitted to speak of the reason she had ended up in the bar in the first place. Even her closest work colleagues had, had no idea what today had meant to her, and she planned to keep it that way.

"Do... wanna dansh?" She slurred.

Without vocalising his answer, Edward grabbed her hand, and dragged her from her bar stool, to the non existent dance floor. Neither sober enough to dance appropriately to the music playing, but since they were some of the last few patrons, not many people were coherent enough to pay much attention, and they too probably wouldn't notice their lack of keeping time with the music.

"Just Edward?"

"Bella?" He returned.

"Shh, I have a secret." She whispered loudly. "Did you know... you... you are pwetty."

"I know right!" He chuckled in response. "But you wanna know somethin', you, you're B E A Utiful." He spelt out for her.

Hearing him call her beautiful, regardless of the fact he was nearly as drunk as her, was a somewhat sobering moment for her. No-one had ever called her beautiful before. She had stopped dancing, and was looking at him intently, trying to work out whether he really meant it.

Having noticed her lack of movement, Edward stopped dancing and returned her gaze. Her brow was creased in confusion, and she tugged her bottom lip nervously between her teeth. Edwards eyes seemed to darken as his focus zeroed in on her lips, which in turn made her tease her lip further. She began worrying when his gaze didn't seem to falter, no-one had ever looked at her the way he currently was. His eye were smouldering but his jaw as tense, almost as though in was subconsciously forcing himself not to say or do something.

She opened her mouth to say something, though she wasn't even sure herself what it was that she was going to say, when he dove forward, capturing her lips against his own in a searing kiss.

Their lips moved almost in sync with each other, going from teasing to caressing and back again. Their tongues moulding together, then fighting for dominance. Though the kiss was mind blowing, she was more than aware that her panties were getting wetter by the second, and the hard bulge that was now pressing against her hip was not helping her predicament any.

He clearly knew what he was doing to her, when he pulled away just enough to look at her, a small smirk grazing his lips, before kissing her softly, before moving to lick and nibble down her jaw, neck and then her shoulder, the whole time grinding his hardness into her. Her body was on fire with need, with desire, and he, he was only making it worse.

For all the drinking she had done, she suddenly felt extremely sober, recognising that their current position in the bar, and their actions were far from appropriate. If she allowed it to go much further, she could not and would not be held responsible for her actions, which ultimately be giving the few remaining patrons a live porn show.

"People are watching." She whispered breathlessly.

Immediately he pulled away, looking at her with hooded eyes. The desire burning in his emerald orbs as clear as day. He nodded toward the door, clearly trying to communicate with her that it was time to leave. She had barely had time to nod and grab her bag when he grasped her hand tightly in his own, striding straight for the door, dragging her behind.

Outside he wasted no time in hailing a cab, politely opening the door and allowing her to get in first, never once letting go of her hand. It was only when the cab driver asked for their destination did they both look at each other sheepishly.

One night stands had never been her thing. In fact this was the first time she was ever going home with someone after only just meeting them. That wasn't to say though that she wasn't experienced, but she had only ever slept with two people her whole life, both she had dated for at least a month before taking that step. This was different though, she knew she wanted this. There was an unexplainable pull between them, and hell when they touched, the spark, it was like someone was zapping her with an electric current.

Before either of them could back out, she quickly gave her address, not daring to look at him for fear that he was changing his mind.

"You really are beautiful." He whispered as he lifted her chin with his thumb and index finger.

He slowly leant in and sensually brushed her lips with his own. The need from earlier was still unmistakable, but the urgency had changed to tenderness. His hand rested on her thigh, his thumb stroking gentle circles, which did nothing but turn her on even more. She was so close to just climbing in his lap and doing it right there in the back of the cab.

They were both so lost in each others touch, neither noticed their arrival at the chosen destination. It was only when the cab driver cleared his throat and barked out the fare that they pulled away only mildly embarrassed. Edward threw a note at him before exiting the car, pulled her along with him. From there on, she lead the way into the building and toward the seven flights of stairs.

She was a little embarrassed about the condition of the building. It was in desperate need of some attention, attention she knew it would never receive considering she could never find the superintendent, who she was sure she had never seen sober. She just hoped Edward wasn't too put off by the hallways, as she liked to think her apartment was nowhere near a reflection of them.

Quickly she ran through her mind each of the rooms in the small apartment, trying to remember if she had left any undesirables on display. That thought for no apparent reason lead to her trying to think which underwear she had on. Clearly Edward was going to be seeing them and the last thing she wanted or needed was to be wearing some very un-sexy underwear. Wracking her mind, and still coming up blank, she began to worry. She wanted this with him and the idea that her panties would put him off was unthinkable.

Finally they made it up the seven flights, both pairs of hands never leaving the others body the whole way up. Edward stood behind her as she fumbled to unlock the door, he was far from helping when his hands were constantly drifting, leaving her wanting more, much, much more. Most of his touches were innocent, though leaving more than enough to the imagination of what he was going to do once they were behind closed doors.

When she finally managed to unlock the door, they stepped in quickly, closing the door as Edward backed her up into it. His eyes were dark with desire, his hands roaming to her thighs, lifting and pressing her into the door as his lips hungrily found hers. He ground into her, letting her know exactly what she was doing to him.

She couldn't help the nagging thought though of what undergarments she was wearing. She wanted nothing to ruin this. Deciding she needed to check, and maybe even change into her sexiest underwear, she slowly began pulling away from him. When she finally pulled away all together, he looked at her confused and slightly worried. She smiled at him, placing one final kiss to his now swollen lips.

"I'll be one second." She whispered huskily to him, before extricating herself from his embrace and dashing toward her room.

Whipping her pants and blouse from her body as she ran across her bedroom to her underwear draw, which she rifled through before pulling out her best pair of black lace boy shorts and matching bra. As fast as she could, she made the change, hoping Edward would appreciate them and her more for it. Just as she was deciding whether to walk back out to him in just her underwear or redress, she heard the slamming of her door.

She knew what that noise meant, but she didn't want to believe it. Forgoing her clothes she headed back into the main living area hoping to find Edward leant somewhere. The reality only disappointed her. There was on sign of him.

Flopping down on the sofa, pulling the blanket that was draped over the back of it, around herself, she let the first of her tears fall. She wasn't sure why she didn't expect it to happen, it was the perfect ending to a completely shitty day. In all honesty she had been surprised he had even wasted a breath in talking to her, she knew as did anyone that had looked at them together, that he was so far out of her league it was unreal.

He had clearly had a sobering thought as she had run toward her room. He knew as well as she, that they didn't belong together. He could get any woman he wanted, he was Mr. GQ while she was the little mousey girl next door, or orphan Annie, except for the orphan part

She should probably thank him, he probably saved her from a lot of heartache come morning.

With a sigh she got to her feet, and ambled back toward her room, checking the door was locked on her way past. She just wanted to sleep the rest of her bad day away, and as Annie used to say 'the sun'll come out tomorrow', she could only hope.

**Phew, that has to be the longest chapter I have EVER wrote. I am actually a little bit proud of it, so I hope you all enjoyed it, please review for me, I really would appreciate it :D**


	2. You had me from hello

Disclaimer : I don't own anything except for the plot, and maybe my own little world in my head, that incidentally does include Robert Pattinson :P lol

**A/N : Ok so, have to say, little bit disappointed by the lack of response to the first chapter. Over eighty of you viewed it/read it, yet only three of you reviewed :( I get that everyone has better things to do with their time, but I would be really, really grateful if you could just let me know your thoughts, even if it's only 'it's crap', or 'it's good' – whatever you think, good or bad. **

_Ok so **MASSIVE **thanks to **Bandeforever16**, **BwithYouForever** and **Cheermom13** you guys are awesome, thank you sooo much for reviewing for me, it really does motivate me more than you know. I hope all three of you enjoy where this is going to go. Thank you **:)**_

_Those of you that have added me and/or this story to your favourites and/or alerts list, thank you very much, but can you please, please leave me some feedback. Thank you :)_

Chapter 2 – You had me from hello

_The first time I saw you it felt like coming home,_

_If I never told you I just want you to know,_

_You had me from hello_

_You had me from hello – Bon Jovi_

It had been weeks since that night at Joe's bar with Bella. My mind had been so wrapped around her since then. She was in nearly all my thoughts, consuming me. I dreamt about her at night, waking up in a sweat, raging hard on, feeling very unsatisfied and frustrated to boot.

The moment I had walked in the bar and saw her sitting there, there had been this pull, this attraction, that I couldn't explain then and definitely couldn't now. I couldn't take my eyes off her while I was talking to Alec. I wanted her even without meeting her. And the sparks when I touched her, man it was like a lightening bolt was hitting me every time.

She was so sexy, and cute sitting there on the bar stool, drinking her beer. That was another thing that turned me on, other than my Sister and Sister in law, I knew no other woman that drank beer, it was all fruity cocktails. It was definitely arousing watching her slug her beer from the bottle.

When I smiled her way and she started choking on her beer, I took that as my cue to make my introduction. I had just made the girl choke, the very least I could do was offer to buy her another. After I had asked if she was ok, she just seemed to gaze at me, giving me the perfect opportunity to check her out. But I lost myself in her eyes. They were deep chocolate brown pools, and clearly the only view to her thoughts and feelings. For some odd reason, there was hurt in them, pain, loss and desperation. Her face though was expressionless. She was obviously very good at keeping herself unseen.

When she had mistaken my name as my surname, I was so drawn in by her, I nearly allowed myself to let her mistake go, but I was so glad I didn't when she continued calling me 'just Edward' for the remainder of the evening. Even when she accidentally hit me in the stomach, it was like everything she said and did, she was capturing more and more of my heart. I knew I was in danger of falling for this girl, and I hadn't even known her an hour.

We talked and drank for the rest of the evening, it was all nonsensical stuff mixed with a little about each other. I wanted and needed to know more about her, but what she was giving was just enough for now. It was the most honest conversation I had, had with anyone outside of my family for months. Maybe it was the alcohol, but then again maybe not. Either way I could have sat listening to her talk all night, and then some.

When she asked me to dance, usually my first response would have been no, like it always was, but with Bella, God, I just wanted to get even closer to her. Without a word I had dragged her from her stool toward an open area of the room, that would make do as a dance floor. By this point, we were both drunk enough to not care that we weren't keeping time with the music, but who cares when you're pressed up close to the most beautiful person you've ever met.

Hearing her whisper my name in my ear, made my cock twitch, and then hearing her tell me she thought I was pretty, or rather 'pwetty', I couldn't help but jokingly agree and then tell her she was beautiful. For whatever reason, I had to do it in a joking way, I didn't want her to feel embarrassed in the morning by her drunken ramblings. Dread hit me though when she stopped dancing and looked at me, I saw a quick flash of hurt fly into her eyes, then it was covered by confusion.

The thought that I had maybe hurt her somehow stole the buzz I had. Why would she be hurt by me telling her she was beautiful? Why would she be confused by it? Ok so the way I had said it was, well not the best way, maybe she thought I was genuinely joking. I couldn't help it, the moment she opened her mouth to say something, that something in my mind cannot have been good. I jumped forward, pressing my lips to hers.

Kissing her only solidified that this woman was one hundred percent perfect for me. She tasted so sweet, the beer she had been drinking all night didn't interfere too much, I couldn't explain the taste, it was simply pure Bella. We moved perfectly against each other, yielding to each other when our own dominance broke through. Our tongues stroked each others sensually. I don't think I've ever been more turned on by a kiss before in my life, and I was almost positive by the slight squirm I felt from her when I pressed myself gently into her hip.

I broke away from her, needing air, but also wanting to see her reaction. I wasn't disappointed, but as much as I wanted to see her squirm some more, I couldn't bear to keep my lips from her for too long. I kissed her chastely, then nipped and licked my way down her jaw, right into the crook of her neck, to the most sweetest spot ever, her scent overpowering me.

It was only when she managed to murmur between gasps that people where watching, did I remember exactly where we were. In the middle of the bar, practically dry humping, giving the patrons far more than they paid for, I needed to get us both out of here, before I went completely caveman on her, and threw her down right there on the pool table and have my way with her. I looked to the door, hoping she was in agreement to leaving. Taking her slight nod as acceptance, though I knew I should have vocalised my wishes, and her consent, I practically dragged the poor girl out of the bar, hailing a cab as quickly as possible.

Once in the cab, I realized my slight predicament, risk taking her back to my place, which I never normally did, or find the nearest hotel. Before I had even reached a decision, she had told the driver an address, which I could only assume was hers. Obviously she was just as eager as I. She didn't look at me, and since she seemed to be a master at masking her true feelings, I wasn't sure whether she was suddenly regretting this. I didn't want her to feel forced into this, but I couldn't bring myself to say the words, instead I told her she was beautiful, truly meaning every word, and hoping she believed me. I kissed her softly, hoping to portray that if she so wished, this was as far as we would go.

I took her climbing into my lap mid kiss as a good sign, quickly losing myself in her touch, until the dumb ass cab driver interrupted us, obviously wanting us out of the car. Idiot he was running the clock. I threw a few notes at him, and followed Bella from the back seat.

I won't say I wasn't surprised by the building she had brought us too. Sure I had been in worse, much, much worse, but I just felt as though someone like Bella deserved so much more. She deserved penthouses, with en-suite bathrooms, the best of everything. Instead she seemed to be living in a ramshackle building, that looked like it belonged in a much more questionable neighbourhood, not at all fitting in with the more prestigious buildings in the surrounding neighbourhood.

She seemed a little pre-occupied as she lead me up the seven flights of stairs. I chose to focus on her rather than the distasteful stairwell which was doing nothing but make me further worried about her safety in this building. I was only mildly aware of my hands drifting over her body as she attempted to unlock her door.

By the time she had unlocked it, and lead us inside, I couldn't take it any longer, I pushed my body against hers, leading her in a step backwards so we were up against the door. The sparks between us were really zapping away, every touch between us was intense. I lifted her up, guiding her legs to wrap around my waist. I had just enough self control left to not take her against the door, but I also needed to be closer to her.

She nearly killed me when she asked me to hold on a minute, dashing down her small hallway. I took a few gulps of air, trying to calm myself. I needed to get control of myself, and fast. I was pretty sure Bella didn't want a caveman on her hands, regardless of how much I needed her.

Taking the opportunity to have a look around, I was amazed at how different the inside felt. Bella had clearly gone out of her way to make the small apartment homely. Despite the unwelcoming entrance to the building, there was nothing here that didn't make you feel warm and invited. Sure it was small, far smaller than I would ever dream of going, and I couldn't imagine being able to stay here for long without feeling claustrophobic, but at the same time, it felt like I could stay here in Bella's little corner of the world with her forever.

Seeing a few pictures above her fireplace, I stepped closer, wanting I suppose a sneak peak into her life. The first one was of Bella and an older gentleman who I could only assume was her Dad. She was wearing a graduation gown and cap, both of them smiling, but neither of their smiles seemed to reach their eyes. Odd. Next to it was another picture of her and the same man, though this time, he was in a tux and a slightly younger Bella in a pale pink gown. Both looked so happy. After that, came the picture that broke my heart. It was the same day, Bella was wearing the same pink gown, but this time, a tall, dark skinned man only a little older looking than Bella, also wearing a tux, had his arm wrapped around her. What really caught my eye though was the sparkle that came from the third finger of his left hand. A wedding ring.

Bella was married!

I tried to remember seeing or feeling a ring on Bella's hand, but I came up with nothing.

I am no saint by any means, but fooling around with married women, even women who had boyfriends was always a big no, no for me. I had once been the victim of said crime, and I always swore I would never be an accomplice, well knowingly anyway.

I stared at Bella's door, mixed on whether to say and ask her out straight, or leave now. The question was though, could I leave if I waited for her to reappear from whatever it was she was doing? I wanted her badly, but badly enough to break my own cardinal rule. The answer was an unequivocal yes.

I did the only thing I could think of. I bolted. Did I hate myself for not having the decency of alerting her? Yes. But at the same time she clearly didn't have the decency to tell me about a husband, or the decency to stay faithful to said husband.

It nearly killed me to leave though, I wanted her badly. I have never ever wanted anyone like I wanted her. Even when I had been engaged to Tanya, I hadn't felt a tenth for her what I felt for Bella. Which I admitted to myself should scare the crap out of me. I had dated Tanya years before finally proposing, whereas I had known Bella all of a few hours, but it oddly didn't.

Finally arriving home, after having a moment of indecision on whether to go and pick up another girl to scratch the itch so to speak. Deciding against it, after one false start for the night, I sat down in my cold, lonely apartment, wishing I was with Bella in her warm cosy one.

After pouring myself a glass of whiskey, I sat myself behind my baby grand piano, and played fruitlessly trying to forget about her. I poured all my frustration into each composition I played. I finally managed to forget, losing myself between the music, but there was no let up in the angst I felt.

I woke the following morning to find myself sprawled on the sofa. I could only vaguely remember exhaustion taking over last night, as I had finally removed myself from one of my most beloved possessions, the other being my car. Looking at my watch, I saw my alarm was due to go off in ten minutes, so deciding there was no point in dozing any further, I clambered from the sofa, feeling the muscles in my back ache.

I felt marginally better after a shower, well until I realized I had back to back meetings all day, and was sure Emmett would want to chew me out for not meeting him last night. He had sounded so frustrated and depressed when he had called. A frustrated Emmett was not good, but a depressed one, was serious.

"Morning Mr. Cullen." Mrs Cope greeted me as I finally arrived at work. I looked at her pointedly. "Sorry... Edward." She corrected herself.

Mrs. Cope had been my Dad's secretary for as long as I could remember, and when I finally took my position and began working alongside my Father, she had taken the role of my secretary on as well. A challenging job, but never once had she let either of us down. It generally helped I suppose that most of my meetings included my Dad, but still.

I felt a pang of dread as I realized we only had six months before she retired. Though she was adamant that she wanted to continue working, She had earnt her retirement and both my Dad and I, knew she was looking forward to spending more time with her family. She had eventually come to an agreement with my Dad and I, that she would only work part time with overtime as and when needed. I hated the idea of having to train someone else to take her place, but it needed to be done.

"Good morning Mrs. Cope." I flashed her a smile as I passed her.

I stepped behind my desk, relaxing immediately into my chair, as I flicked my computer on. There was a pile of paper work in my in-tray with a post it from Mrs. Cope telling me that I just needed to check through them and sign, and that she would come by and collect them later. I truly dreaded finding a replacement for her.

"Morning Son." My Dad greeted me as he strode into my office.

"Hey Dad." I replied.

I was lucky in the fact I had an excellent relationship with my Dad. Not at all like the one he had shared with his own. It had taken me years to work out why. It was only when choosing my major in college, and expressing the interest of joining the family business did my Father tell me. My Dad had been pressured into taking his position beside my Grandfather in the family business, when really he wanted very much to become a doctor.

When my Dad had explained everything, it seemed like he was never good enough in my Grandfathers eyes, which in all honesty, I could believe. Grandpa Cullen had always scared the bejesus out of me when I was young. He was always so stern, and I couldn't even think of a time where he had shown any affection to his loved ones. I couldn't even remember any time when me, Emmett and Alice were kids that he willingly spent time with us. Completely opposite to my Grandma Cullen who showered us all with love and affection.

"You might want to call your Mom, Son. She tried calling you a few times last night, and since you didn't answer, or call back yet, you know how worried she gets." He told me with a knowing smirk.

Ah yes, my Mom. It was no secret she worried greatly about me. I was her youngest Son, and also the only one not happily settled down. So of course, she felt the need to worry, set me up on blind dates, and worry some more. Although I knew she had never cared too much for Tanya, it had broken her heart the day I turned up on their doorstep with the few clothes I had managed to grab before I left.

"I didn't even hear my cell. I went to Joe's to meet Em, then I was playing when I got home." I told him.

"I'm surprised you even made it home sober enough to play if you were out drinking with Emmett!" My Dad chuckled, knowing his eldest well.

"I didn't see him, I just missed him when I got there." I said, knowing that was enough to explain my sobriety this morning.

"Ah, I see." He laughed. "We have meetings all day, yes?" He asked.

"Yeah. The first at... ten." I told him, as I checked my PDA. "We only have a short lunch, I was going to order out, you want anything?" I was pretty sure of the answer.

"Yes, but if your Mom asks..."

"You had a nice healthy salad wrap from the Deli!" I finished for him with a smirk, seeing his replying smile. "Sure thing Pop. So what do you feel like?" I asked, practically salivating at the thought of food. I knew I shouldn't have skipped breakfast.

"Whatever you choose is fine Son." He told me as he left my office.

The day was slow going, each meeting over running, and if I was honest, I paid little to no attention to what was said in any of them. Thankfully the dicta tape was recording them so I could revisit what was said later. I spent my lunch with my Dad, though we also had my Mom on speaker phone as I explained to her why I had failed to answer her call last night. As expected she guessed straight away that my Dad wasn't in fact eating the 'nice healthy salad wrap', he told her he was. I almost felt sorry for him when I imagined what she would make him for dinner.

For the most part though, my mind rarely left Bella. I was so very tempted to go back to her apartment and apologize for my hasty exit and to find out the truth. I wanted her. She was affecting me so badly it was untrue. Even my Dad could see that I had something on my mind, though unlike my Mom would, he didn't press for further information.

Even when Emmett called to chew me out for not meeting him, I couldn't help but feel no remorse. Had I been on time, the likelihood of meeting Bella was extremely slim. That was how bad she was affecting me, I couldn't even be repentant at having met. It was a vicious circle, I hated that things were how they were for us, but even if I could only ever have those few hours with her, I would do it all again in an instant.

That was how it was for the following month. I thought about her constantly, even coming close to going and seeing her. I had only ever got as far as driving passed the front of her building. She was always right there in my mind, though I had managed to learn to push my thoughts of her to the side whilst I was at work.

I couldn't even bring myself to go back to Joe's, or any other bar really. I couldn't flirt with other women without picturing in my head it was her. I couldn't even imagine sleeping with another woman, not that I regularly had one night stands or anything, but since Bella, the itch had only got worse, yet the one person I wanted to scratch wasn't available. Suffice to say my right hand had become my best friend as of late.

"Um Mr. Cul... Edward?" Mrs Cope popped her head around my office door.

I was immediately thrown back to that night with Bella when she had called me Mr. Edward. Dammit I had just put her to the back of my mind.

"Emmett is on line two for you. He says it's urgent." She told me, before disappearing.

"Hey Em, what's up?" I asked as I picked up my phone.

"Why do you automatically think something is up?" He asked in return, he sounded more jovial than usual. There was something up, or he wanted something. It was usually always the latter.

"Oh I don't know, maybe because you're calling me at work rather than my cell, or maybe it's because you told Mrs. Cope it was urgent, or maybe it's because there usually is always something." I laughed.

"Yeah, yeah you got me, ok." He agreed, oddly happy, which he never was when he gave in. "So, I kinda need you to come to dinner at Ma and Pop's tonight. Me and Rose, well we have some news."

I was intrigued. It can't have been anything bad since he was in such a good mood. I knew he and Rose were having some problems conceiving, they had both been down over the previous months, but it hadn't gone unnoticed that both of their moods seemed to have lifted as of late.

"I'm gonna assume it's something good considering you sound like you slept with a coat hanger in your mouth!" I joked.

"We think so." He answered cryptically.

"You're not gonna tell me are you?"

"Nope, you will find out tonight, like everyone else."

"Ok, so I'll see you around seven then?"

"Well actually..." Ah here it comes, the catch to this whole situation. "We were hoping for about six, that way we can tell you guys before dinner."

I should have known Emmett would never want anything to interfere with his food. I agreed before bidding him goodbye. The curiosity was killing me. Emmett had never been any good at keeping secrets, yet this one he was strangely managing to keep. I wondered if he had let slip to my Mom. If anyone could pull blood from a stone, she could.

I abandoned my work for a few moments and made my way to my Dad's office, knocking gently, then entering upon his acknowledgement. Hopefully he will have spoken to my Mom and got at least some information.

"So, I just spoke to Em, big family dinner at your place tonight huh?"

"Don't fish Edward, I know nothing and neither does your Mom." My Dad told me knowingly.

"Damn, must be something really important for Em to be able to keep schtum." We laughed.

I managed to get through the rest of the afternoon, though my mind constantly drifted to Bella, as usual, but now also what Emmett and Rosalie had to tell us. There was excitement in Em's voice, so I wasn't too worried about the news being bad, but it was so very unlike him to keep things to himself. Not that he had much choice, usually you could tell if he had done something just by looking at him. My Mom called him her open book, which was why growing up my Sister Alice and I rarely told him things that needed to be kept from our parents, and why he never got away with shirking the responsibility of pranks.

I even went as far as calling Alice. She usually always knew everything, sometimes even before they happened. She knew about Bella almost the instant we spoke two days after my meeting Bella. I had barely said two words in the conversation before she was asking me about the girl I had met two days previous. She didn't however know anything about Emmett and Rose though, which was bugging her even more than it was me.

By the time I had pulled in my Parents driveway behind my Dad, curiosity was killing me. I knew it was annoying my Dad, but he would never admit to it.

"Hi Sweetie." My Mom greeted me after my Dad, as we walked into the kitchen where she was busy cooking up a storm.

"Hi Mom, smells good." I placed myself at the breakfast bar, pulling my tie loose.

"It's not going to be ready for a while, so if you're hungry there's some cheese in the fridge and crackers in the cupboard, but don't fill up." She warned. "Oh and there's some paint books in the den that I need you to look through and pick something for your new room."

"Whatever colour you want is fine."

"Edward. It will be your room whenever you visit, it is yours to do with what you will." She answered. "Within reason of course." She added with a smile.

"I still don't get why you guys bought it. I mean Forks isn't exactly a holiday destination is it?"

My Parents had recently bought land on the outskirts of a small town north west from here, on the far side of the Olympic national park. Over the last six months they had, had a house built there, for nothing more than a vacation home.

"Because Sweetie, it's a nice area with plenty of fresh air, none of this city smog. It is also close enough to escape to at the last minute, and far enough away that you or your Father can't run into the office all the time." She said pointedly. "Both you and your Father are turning into workaholics sweetheart. The company won't fold in the space of a few days without you."

I simply nodded before quickly leaving the room before she could start lecturing me on settling down and starting a family. My Mom made no secret about wanting a tonne of Grandbabies, though she was also mindful enough to not broach the topic around Rosalie and Emmett. All pressure had been taken from them in that department and pretty much landed on me, considering Alice was currently in the middle of planning a very extravagant wedding and didn't really need any more adding to her already gigantic pile she planted on herself. Though in my case there was more pressure to find the right girl first. Either way it was pressure.

I reached the hallway just in time to see Alice rush in like a whirlwind, Jasper her fiancé hot on her heels. She swept me into a hug, planting a kiss on my cheek, before calling out to my Mom and disappearing within seconds, almost as though I had imagined her. Jasper quickly gave me a brotherly hug, uttering not to ask, as we both went into the den where my Dad now sat after having been and changed into a pair of slacks and a polo.

Seeing how relaxed he now looked, and feeling how uncomfortable and formal I felt, I dashed up to my old room. I had left a few items of clothes here for such occasions, that and when I moved out Alice had decided I needed a whole new wardrobe. Then again ,when I broke up with Tanya, a new start of course meant a new wardrobe. Basically any excuse for my Sister to shop.

By the time I returned, both my Mom and Alice had joined my Dad and Jasper in the den. I sat in the big comfy chair, immediately feeling my muscles relax slightly. Just as my Mom started pushing the paint brochures toward me, we all heard Emmett's voice boom as they entered.

"Oh great, you guys are all here!" He announced on his entrance to the room.

Emmett was always quite cheery. He was rarely ever in a bad mood, the life and soul of the party. But the Emmett standing before us now, was practically bouncing off the walls with happiness. It was like he had taken all of Alice's hyperness from her and mixed it with his own happiness. I couldn't help but smile with him.

"So ok, yeah, me and Rose we have some really, really good news, but first we'd like you to meet a friend." He never said anything about bringing a guest on the phone. What did this person have to do with their good news. "B meet everyone my Mom Esme, Dad Carlisle, Sister Alice and her partner Jasper, and my Brother Edward. Everyone meet Bella."

And in walked the woman of my dreams. The woman I had been pining over for the last month solid.

I couldn't believe she was standing right there in front of me, looking even more beautiful, if that was at all possible. Her brunette hair was down around her shoulder's part if it pulled back into one of those half pony tail things, leaving some bangs around her face. She was nibbling on that bottom lip again, and from the way she was fidgeting slightly, I knew she was nervous. She was wearing a midnight blue fitted blouse that hugged her curves gently and a pair of black pants that showed off her legs perfectly. She was quite literally a vision.

I quickly glanced around my family, making sure they were seeing her too and I wasn't hallucinating. The moment I turned back to Bella, she turned to me, recognition crossing her features immediately. I could see the panic in her eyes straight away, and she began gnawing on her lip even more. God how I wanted to dive across the room and suck on that lip. I wanted badly to go to her and ease all her worries. But she was here with Em and Rose.

She was here with Em and Rose!

How the hell did she know them, and why was she accompanying them to dinner? Now I was confused. I forced a smile Bella's way, trying to make her understand everything was ok, but I doubt it eased her any, especially considering my family were currently forcing their greetings to her.

Emmett eventually made us all sit down, he himself taking the focal point of the room with Rose and Bella. Rose looked as happy as Emmett, Bella simply looked uncomfortable.

"Ok so me and Rosie, we have some like fucking fantastic..." Emmett began.

"Emmett! Language. We have a guest." My Mom scolded. "I'm so sorry Bella dear, he was raised to have better manners." She smiled apologetically before glaring at Emmett. Bella just smiled and shook her head.

Oh that smile. I felt my dick twitch just seeing the expression grace her features. I wondered if she was even aware of how captivating she was. How I just wanted to stare at her and memorize all of her. Drink every little thing about her in. Damn I had it bad.

"Sorry Ma. Anyway we have some fantastic news." He began again, drawing us all in so we were dying with anticipation.

"Good God Emmett just tell us already!" Alice announced, ever the impatient pixie she was.

"We're going to have a baby." Rose practically whispered, almost as though she couldn't quite believe it herself.

Of course the moment those six words were uttered the room erupted in screams from my Mom, Alice and Rosalie and yells of delight from me, Jasper, my Dad and Emmett. Whilst having a round of hugs with everyone, it didn't escape my notice that Bella was simply stood on the sidelines, a huge smile gracing her perfect face. She seemed genuinely happy for my Brother and his wife, which anyone would be, but her being here was still a question that was nagging in the back of my mind. Was she their doctor or something.

"So how far along are you?" I heard my Sister ask over everyone else, creating an anticipated silence in the room.

"Ah, well you see that's it. We... well we aren't pregnant _yet_." Emmett began.

Ok so now I was officially confused, as was I think everyone else in the room bar Emmett, Rose and Bella. Which having Bella know what they were talking about only served to confuse me even more.

"Ok, I think you need to sit down and start from the very beginning." My Dad's voice of reason broke through.

We all situated ourselves around the room in the various seats. I couldn't help but notice how awkward Bella looked sitting around us. We all turned our attention to Emmett and Rose, desperate for them to clear everything up.

"Right as you all know, we have been trying for some time now to get pregnant, and it just doesn't seem to be happening for us." The emotion in Rose's voice was something akin to pain. "We've been trying different treatments for a while now, but nothing seems to be happening." Tears had sprung in her eyes and her voice wobbled.

This was not usual for Rose. She was a 'tough chicka' as Alice liked to describe her. She was fierce and audacious, often coming across as a bitch to those who didn't know her. To those of us lucky enough to see the true Rosalie she was caring, supportive, loving and protective. But she still rarely let anyone see that side of her.

Emmett grasped her hand in his huge one, in an act of support and love. I knew it was killing my big Brother inside to not give Rose the one thing they both desperately wanted. We all knew Rose would make a great Mom, but over the years it had become evident how good of a Dad, Em would really make.

Growing up you would never and I do literally mean never, have imagined Emmett as a Dad. He was immature, the big man on campus in both the literal and figurative sense. The thought of him holding such a tiny delicate being was just foreign, let alone the responsibilities of being a parent. The moment he met Rose though, he seemed to mellow, and sure he was still boisterous but I really could see him now with that baby in his arms.

"So we've more or less run out of options really." Emmett continued and I immediately felt my stomach churn with grief for them. "Until, I met Bella here."

Ok so we were slowly but surely coming to the point where Bella was involved. At the mention of her name, she began nervously chewing on her bottom lip. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she was so nervous. I glanced around the room trying to see if anyone else had managed to figure out the reason for Bella's presence. It didn't seem as though anyone had, so thankfully I wasn't the only one in the dark.

"Bro, you remember when you were meant to meet me at the bar, and you were late?" Emmett asked.

I nodded. I remembered that night clearly. It was the night I met... Bella. So she had also met Emmett that night too. Upon this realization, questions began flying around in my head. Did she know I was Emmett's Brother? Was she doing this to see me again? Running through them in my own mind, I realized how stupid I was being. How could she have possibly known I was Emmett's Brother? It wasn't that we looked alike, well not enough for a complete stranger to notice the similarities. And even if Emmett had told her he was meant to be meeting me, how would she have possibly known I was him. Surely had Emmett mentioned my name, she would have put two and two together when I introduced myself?

"... so we got to talking and she suggested an option we hadn't even thought about." I zoned back in to hear Emmett getting to the crucial point.

"Which is?" Alice asked impatiently.

"Surrogacy." Emmett answered simply.

**Ok so I know this chapter isn't as long as the first one, but I did continue writing after this point, but knowing where I wanted to sort of end it, was making it turn into this unbelievably massive chapter, so the good news is, the third chapter is practically written already lol. Anyways please, please, please guys review for me. Whether it's good or bad, I wanna know your thoughts :)**


	3. Goodbye my almost lover

Disclaimer : I don't own anything but the plot, so please don't steal it.

**A/N one : Ok so even more disappointed by the lack of response to the previous chapter. Two reviews :( I don't want to be one of those authors who bribe their readers, however I have chapter four nearly written, but that will be it, unless I get a better response, I just have zero motivation since only two of you seem interested. **

**A/N two : I apologize now if any facts from this chapter onward are incorrect. I have tried my best to research the topics, but I can't seem to find too much information, so therefore I have taken artistic licence to part of it :)**

**A/N three : If you check out my profile there is a link for my image album that is being built chapter by chapter for this story. Again the pictures are there to simply give you an idea of what I visualize :)**

_Ok, so again **MASSIVE** thanks goes to my two reviewers **Cheermom13** and **Bandeforever16** you guys are totally amazing and I can't thank you enough for taking the time to review **:) :) :) :)**_

Chapter 3

_Goodbye, my almost lover  
Goodbye, my hopeless dream  
I'm trying not to think about you  
Can't you just let me be?_

_Goodbye my almost lover - A Fine Frenzy_

_**Last chapter**_

"_... so we got to talking and she suggested an option we hadn't even thought about." I zoned back in to hear Emmett getting to the crucial point. _

"_Which is?" Alice asked impatiently. _

"_Surrogacy." Emmett answered simply. _

"And Bella comes into this..." My Mom started to question. "Oh!"

I looked at my Mom, her eyes were wide, and for once she was speechless. My Dad too had clearly cottoned on to why Bella was here. Me, I was still very much in the dark.

"Yeah." Emmett smiled widely.

"Huh. Hold on you guys, I don't follow! What does Bella have to do with it? How exactly does a surrogacy work?" Thankfully my Sister asked.

Both Emmett and Rose looked at Bella to explain. So maybe this was why they had brought her. She obviously knew about what was involved, and since we were such a close family, Em and Rose probably want us all up to date and stuff.

"Um ok, so basically, a surrogacy is an option for people like Emmett and Rosalie. It's when a third party of sorts, has a baby for them." Bella explained, though she oddly looked a little nervous.

"Isn't that basically adoption?" I've never loved my Sisters inquisitiveness more than I do right now.

"Yeah in a way, except the baby will be mine and Rose's." Emmett replied.

"Well it would be anyway if you adopted!" Alice announced.

"No it would..." Emmett fired back, before Bella stopped him, placing a hand on his shoulder.

"Ok, let me start right at the beginning ok?" Bella ran a hand nervously through her hair. "A surrogacy is when for whatever reason a couple can't get pregnant, but otherwise have the ability to create a baby. Sometimes it's just the woman's body can't handle carrying a pregnancy. So an embryo is created from the woman's egg and the man's sperm, making the baby biologically theirs, but then it's implanted into another woman who carries it to term for them."

I sat through her whole speech, kind of feeling like I was back in Sex Ed at school. Even now when we were talking seriously, I could see the smile trying to break through on Emmett's face.

"Like Phoebe in Friends?" Trust Alice to be able to make the connection via a TV show.

"Yes, exactly." Bella agreed.

"And you're going to be Phoebe?" She asked again, though I was more concentrating on Emmett trying to control his urge to laugh.

"Yes."

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Bella's going to carry my Brothers baby? I'm must have heard wrong. Seriously heard wrong.

"Hold it!" I announced before I could stop myself. "You're going to have a baby for them?"

"Yes." She answered easily.

"Ok, I'm either really stupid here, or I'm just really stupid."

I knew my sentence made no sense, but I was one hundred percent baffled. The woman of my dreams, the woman who hadn't left my thoughts for barely a minute in the past month, had just openly admitted to my family, she was going to have my Brother's baby. How fucked up was that?

"Emmett asked you, in a bar, to have his kid, and you just agreed?"

I was starting to get a little mad. She had obviously met Emmett before me that night. Spoken to him about being a surrogate for him and Rose, yet she _still_ took me home with her. So not only did she take me home when she had a Husband, but also after she'd agreed to carry another man's child. This was more than fucked up. This was just beyond words.

"What? No you Douche, I did not ask her anything!" I could sense Emmett's anger rising. "Jesus Eddie, what do you take me for?"

Right now, I took him for stealing the one chance I had with her, right form under me. Out of all the women they could have asked to do this, they had to ask Bella. Momentarily forgetting my chance had gone the moment I realized she had a Husband was neither here nor there.

"Sorry Em, but c'mon, you meet in a bar, then suddenly she's gonna carry your baby?"

"Yeah, I have to agree Em, I'm struggling to understand how all this came about." Jasper added.

God I loved Jasper right now. At least he seemed to be on my side in all this, proving I wasn't the only person not able to comprehend this whole situation.

"Ok, ok, I think we all need to settle down for a minute, get a drink, and we'll start right at the very beginning." My Dad pacified us.

A good strong drink I could use right now. I was confused as hell. Annoyed as hell. And getting pissed beyond belief. Part of me was ready to kill Emmett for allowing this perfect woman to do this for them, but then another part, the protective part of me, wanted to shield my Brother and Sister in law from her. Did they even know about her Husband? Had she been completely honest with them, unlike with me? I doubted it very much.

Within minutes, we had reconvened back into our original positions. Bella looked even more uncomfortable, if that was at all possible. Again I was both happy and sad about this. I wanted her to feel at home with us, like she was in my dreams, but then I wanted to make her feel even worse for doing what she was doing to both me and my family.

"Right, shall we start right at the very beginning?" Esme announced, trying to remain calm, but struggling, considering she had just been told she was going to become a Grandmother.

"I think, that I um, need to clear some things up, if that's ok with everyone?" Bella asked timidly.

Everyone bar myself agreed to allowing her explain the situation. I just sat gazing at her, wishing it was me and her announcing our pregnancy, which even I knew was completely stupid.

Just that thought alone scared the crap out of me. I had only ever truly loved one woman before, and she had ripped my heart out of my chest and practically stomped it on the ground. I had been so close to marrying Tanya, but if I'm completely honest, I had never really imagined us with kids. Quite possibly because Tanya had been the least motherly person I knew, but still here I was, quite able of imagining it with Bella. A woman I had spent only mere hours with.

"This might all be really strange to you guys, and I will try and answer all of your questions, but you do need to know, when I told Emmett about the possibility of surrogacy, I never in a million years thought that I would see him again." Bella began to explain. "For a year or so now, I have volunteered with 'Bridges to Babies'. It's a country wide organisation where people like Rose and Em can receive advice, counselling and just meet other people who are or have gone through what they are. They can also put you in touch with adoption agencies, surrogacy agencies, and all sorts of other things that could help."

As she finished her sentence I could see a flash of pain ignited in her eyes. There was clearly something about this that affected her. I found it odd that someone like Bella who clearly had a partner, felt the need to be a surrogate.

"When I moved back here after college, I spent some time with a woman who was a surrogate. Anyway I ended getting in touch with the agency the group recommend, and putting my name on their list. A few weeks ago, I got a call telling me someone had picked me."

"How do you mean picked you?" Jasper asked.

"Oh um, the agency build a small profile on the surrogate and the prospective parents get the opportunity to look through them. It's sort of like matching us to the parents. It mostly goes on where we live in relation to each other, but sometimes the parents or the surrogate don't want each other to be that heavily involved, things like that."

"So Bella, what made you want to become a surrogate?" My Mom asked.

This answer I was particularly interested in. Well any answer to any question about her, I was interested in if I was honest. I needed to know more about her, wanted to know more about her. But most of all I felt the need to put the pieces of the puzzle together. There was something she was holding back, and I wanted to know what it was.

"Oh um, I... I... it's a personal reason." There it was again, the pain in her eyes. I could swear I saw her lower lip tremble, before she metaphorically tightened the reins on herself. "I have um, I've seen what the pain of not being able to have children can do to people, and I know I'm not making a huge difference to the world here, but if I can prevent the pain of two people like Rosalie and Emmett, then I'm happy with that."

As I sat and listened to her, I knew I was falling deeper and deeper for her. I had to stop myself. She was married. She was going to have my Brothers baby. She was so far off limits it was untrue.

I was angry with myself for feeling the way I did. Wondering why of all people I had to fall for her. I knew following on the path I was, was only going to end up getting myself hurt, and I had already had enough hurt to last a lifetime. I didn't need Bella coming in here and stomping on my heart even more than it already had, whether she knew she was doing it or not.

"Ok, so we get how you ended up becoming Rose and Em's surrogate. But how do we know we can trust you?"

"Edward!" My Mom practically shrieked at me.

"I apologize for my bluntness, but it is a genuine question. I mean surely once you're pregnant, there's nothing to stop you from running off?"

I have no idea where any of this was coming from. I barely knew Bella, but I had the strange sense, that we could trust her. Did I want her to go through with this? The answer was no. So anything I could do to put her off was ok in my book. I'm sure Rose and Em could find a different surrogate.

"I'm open to ideas on how I can help you to trust me. But there will be an arrangement, a contract if you will, put in place. It also will be on my medical records that the baby isn't biologically mine. So if like you say I was to 'run off' while I was pregnant, the moment I had the baby, the hospital would see on my records that it wasn't mine."

"What if you change your mind during the pregnancy?" My Dad asked.

"Again because a contract is in place, I would have to go through the courts to be able to keep the baby. But since it's not mine, and I will have signed the contract to say once I have given birth I will sign any of my rights to the child away, it is a very slim chance I would win the case."

She was asked a few more questions, and with each one I became more and more frustrated. She wasn't easily deterred. I was so desperate for her to just change her mind. Not that I wanted to deprive my Brother and Rose of this opportunity, but I just didn't want Bella to be the one to give it to them. I selfishly wanted her to myself.

_'She's married, what difference does it make, you idiot'_ my mind screamed at me.

"So do they get to know your whole sexual history, I mean presuming you have slept with someone before, how do they know you're safe?" The question was out of my mouth before I could stop it, or reword it to a more pleasant way.

God I hated myself right now, and if the daggers both Emmett and Rose, hell my whole family were throwing my way, they hated me too. Not that I could blame them or Bella. Oddly enough though, Bella didn't seem at all phased by my rudeness. Maybe she had been expecting such a question, especially considering what had happened when we met.

"Dude, you're about five seconds away from a punch!" Emmett threatened.

"Edward!" My parents and Alice warned.

Rose and Jasper simply looked a mixture of ashamed and mortified at my behaviour I knew everyone was disappointed by my behaviour, but no more than I was.

"Ugh God, Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way." I apologized.

"It's fine really. You aren't the first person to ask a surrogate that, and I'm pretty sure you won't be the last." She smiled at me. It was nothing like the heart stopping smile she gave me that night, but this wasn't any less genuine. "But in answer to your question, in order to stay on the surrogate list you have to be tested regularly for both STD's and drugs. I am more than willing to under go any form of test Rose and Emmett want me to have, as long as it doesn't affect my health in anyway." She replied.

"Ok, I think that's enough of the questions and answers session for now, dinner will be ready." My Mom told us, leaving no room for any argument.

Bella tried to excuse herself from the meal, but again everyone bar myself argued that they wanted her to stay. Of course I wanted her to stay, but I was more than well aware of how awful my behaviour had been tonight. I had no excuse really, my only argument being that Bella affected me, badly.

I was so conflicted. I wanted her. I wanted her like I've never wanted anyone before. But her having a husband, and the fact she seemed so blasé about that irked me beyond belief. I was mentally being flung back and forth from wanting to worship the ground she walked on, to not wanting to even acknowledge her existence.

I was most certainly doomed. She was obviously set on going ahead with the pregnancy, and knowing my family like I do, we would surely be spending time with her. The question was, could I manage to spend time with her? She was like a forbidden fruit to me, and though I knew I had a high level of self control, I wasn't sure how long I could ward of temptation.

"So Bella, tell us about yourself?" My Mom asked as we settled down to eat.

Finally a subject I was more than interested in. Every smidgen of information I could gather on her, the better.

"Um, well there's not much to tell really." She replied quietly.

Ok so fact number one, Bella didn't seem to like being the centre of attention.

"Is Bella short for something?" My Mom probed.

This was exactly why I loved my Mom so much. Well ok it wasn't the only reason, hell it wasn't even one of the main reasons, but still. She was never deterred from anything, especially if she had her mind set on it. Alice had unfortunately taken after her, though unlike Mom, Alice never knew when to quit.

"Isabella." She stated, her nose wrinkling slightly at the sound of her own name.

"You don't like it?" Alice asked.

"No not really. I only ever used to get called it by my Dad when I was in trouble." She admitted with a shy smile.

"So where are you from Bella?" Jasper asked.

She really wasn't free giving with the information, but she had yet to learn my family were nothing but determined. They would keep prompting her, it didn't matter how many times. I almost felt sorry for her. It seriously would end up like the Spanish inquisition.

"Um, originally a small town north of here called Forks. It's kinda small, blink and you'd miss it kind of thing."

Fact number three silenced the whole table.

"What? Am I missing something?" Bella looked marginally panicked as she surveyed all our expressions.

"We've just had a house built in Forks Bella." My Dad told her.

"Oh." I expected the slight panic to disappear when she was told what had silenced us all, but if anything, the panic wiped from her face, and went straight into her eyes.

"It's a small world after all." Emmett sang gently, causing a few titters of laughter around the table.

Bella smiled and forced out a soft laugh, but that's all it was, forced. She seemed even more uncomfortable. I couldn't help but wonder why? There was something she wasn't telling us, and I was almost certain it had to do with her home town. Maybe that's where her husband lived? There was most certainly some skeletons in her closet, and I was newly determined to find out what they were.

"Well you'll have to come with us in a few weeks when we start furnishing the new house, that way you can show us around the 'hot spots' of Forks." I smiled cheekily before I shovelled a fork full of mashed potatoes in my mouth.

"Oh yes, that would be wonderful." I knew I could trust my Mom to gush at the idea.

"The only 'hot spot' Forks has is the one lone bar on the main street, you can't miss it."

I couldn't help but notice the panic in her eyes grow further. I almost felt guilty for playing her like this, but I was still determined to gather as much information about her as possible.

"I um, I haven't really spent much time there since I left for college, so um, I don't think I'd be of much use to you."

There it was. She clearly didn't want to go to Forks, and there was a particular reason why. I just had to try and weasel that reason out of her somehow.

"Nonsense. You said yourself it's only a small town, how much can it really have changed?" My Mom argued, clearly not having noticed Bella's hesitance regarding her home town.

"So does your family still live there Bella?" My Dad asked.

I knew he had sensed the terseness of Bella's reluctance at the idea of returning to Forks. He was trying to help her find a loophole to get out of visiting. If she had no family there, there was no reason for her to want to return.

"Just my Dad. He's all I have... now." I couldn't help but notice her mumble the now part. "The likelihood of him ever leaving Forks is about the same as me ever winning the lottery or something." She added with a smile, before I could dwell any further.

"Do you see him a lot?" I asked.

Clearly if she rarely returned to Forks, she was either avoiding her Father, or he came to see her, which didn't really add up considering she had just announced the likeliness of her Father leaving Forks was slim. Either way I felt it was crucial in finding out exactly what was stopping her from returning there.

"No. No not really. Not as much as I'd like anyway. But he's always busy with work or something, and on his days off he likes to wind down fishing with his buddies." I heard the slight regret in his tone. You could tell she didn't like the fact she didn't see him much.

"What does he do?" I continued probing.

"Um he's the Chief of Police."

"Ha ha, Em hear that. You misbehave in Forks, Bella's Dad will be the one to arrest you!" I laughed, deciding to give her a few minutes break from the interrogation.

The whole table erupted in laughter. I would pay some serious cash to see Bella's Dad arrest him, especially if he found out during that time, that Bella was going to have his baby.

"Yeah well, he arrests me, Baby Bell here can just sweet talk her Dad to release me." Emmett laughed.

For the rest of the meal small talk took over. I kept one eye on Bella's reaction to every subject, though saw nothing of consequence. I wanted to continue pushing, but thought better of it. I didn't need her or my family cottoning on to what I was doing. I also didn't want any further grief about my behaviour. I already knew my Mom would be chewing me out later for it.

I helped clear the dishes, hoping this would gain me a few brownie points with my Mom later. It was widely known that Emmett would never volunteer for dishes duty, something that irritated my Mom when we were growing up. Right from us being small children, she had always instilled in us strong familial values. Alice and myself had always just accepted these, Emmett however often had to be bribed with pocket money.

"What the hell Edward! You have been acting like a douche all evening." Alice hissed at me as she brought the remainder of the dishes in.

"I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for those things to come out the way they did." I excused myself.

She eyed me skeptically. She could tell there was more to it, but couldn't quite put her finger on it.

"I was just thrown you know. I didn't think things were _that_ bad for Rose and Em." I added.

I was hoping to throw her off the scent. It was useless though, if she didn't guess mine and Bella's connection now, she would soon. I would bet my life on it. She always did have this spooky way of knowing things. Most of the time, her knowledge was passable as intuition, but every once in a while she know something that none of us could explain how she knew.

"There's something you're not telling me big Brother, and I know that you know, that I will find out." She smiled slyly.

"Alice for once in your life don't waste your time digging for something that isn't there." I tried to ward her off.

It was pointless really, she would find out. I could try with all my might to lead her off the scent, but Alice was creepy like that. I was convinced instead of a fashion designer, she should have become a clairvoyant.

We returned to the living room where everyone else had situated themselves. Despite having had dinner with us, Bella still seemed slightly on edge, as though she knew more questions were going to be thrown at her. I couldn't say I blamed her really, especially how the 'question and answer' session had faired before dinner.

For the following hour, Bella explained some of the different parts of the contract, and what was expected of her. In all honesty the more she explained, the more I felt further at ease with her doing this. Well not the part that it was _her_ doing this, but the whole surrogacy in general. She wasn't accepting money for her 'services', the only thing Rose and Em were to pay were for the actual IVF treatment, any health care she may need due to the pregnancy, that her own insurance wouldn't cover, and a very small donation toward maternity clothes.

In return both Em and Rose gave her stipulations that they wanted including in the contract. They wanted to be as involved as possible, there for every scan, and present at the birth. We did all laugh when Bella agreed to their terms so long as during the birth Emmett stayed by her head.

It all seemed very straight forward, though they were going to meet a lawyer who would help them complete the contract formally.

"So when do you expect to actually you know, get pregnant?" Alice asked.

"Um well, obviously we need to get the contract in place first, but that should hopefully be this week. It's about a couple of weeks before I go through with the treatment. I have to have some tests before hand. So all being well I should be pregnant by the end of March" Bella answered.

"Oh we should so have a girls night out before you have to stop drinking." Alice squealed, clapping her hands excitedly.

"That's really not necessary Alice, really." Bella tried to argue.

"Next Friday night, we can start at Joe's, Alec owes me a few cocktails, then we can move on to that new Club Eclipse. It will be so much fun." Alice planned happily.

"Really, Alice..." Bella began.

"Save your breath Bella, once Alice has something in her head, you won't win." Jasper told her, receiving a playful glare from Alice before she stuck her tongue out at him.

Half an hour later, the family started dispersing. First Emmett and Rose left with Bella, followed soon after by Alice and Jasper. I tried sneaking out before my Mom could catch me and chew me out for my behaviour earlier. But just as I was reaching for my jacket and keys she caught me, demanding me to sit at the kitchen table. For twenty minutes she gave me an ear lashing about how she brought me up to behave better than that and she expected me to treat Bella as one of the family from now on, since she was doing something so noble for our family. I managed to get away, apologizing and explaining I was just shocked since I hadn't thought Rose and Em were that far out of options and I hadn't meant my questions to be worded in such uncouth ways. All I can say is, it's a good job I was a bit of a Mama's boy growing up, I could probably get away with murder so long as I apologized and flashed my boyish smile at her.

I bid my parents goodnight, and began the thirty minute drive home. Throughout the drive, my thoughts returned to earlier in the evening. I couldn't believe out of everyone in Seattle, my Brother had to have Bella be their surrogate.

I was so pleased for Rose and Em, their dreams of becoming parents were so close. Something that was now a mere nine to ten months away, had felt like years away only a few weeks prior. I knew without a doubt that the baby would be so loved, regardless of the fact Rose hadn't carried it herself.

But Bella.

I knew I would have to apologize to Bella also, but I wanted to do it in more privacy. Maybe even explain how I felt, try to make her understand how difficult it was going to be. I wanted her to not do this, but at the same time, I was so proud of the fact she was doing it. So conflicted.

I was so confused in regard to her. None of my questions about her had been answered tonight. Granted I hadn't asked them and neither had anyone else. She was a mystery. A mystery I still, regardless of my belief that she had a partner, wanted to solve.

Part of me wanted to believe I was wrong about the whole partner thing. I mean who in their right minds would allow their girlfriend or wife to carry a child for someone else, strangers no less. I was certain I couldn't, especially considering the fact she didn't already have any children herself. I knew without a doubt I couldn't stand by and watch my partner be pregnant for the first time with another man's child.

Yet knowing this, I still wanted Bella... badly.

Add that to the whole not seeing her Dad very often or returning to Forks rarely. There was something definitely amiss regarding that. The panic in her eyes and her reluctance when it was suggested she come with us when we headed out there. There was something or maybe someone in Forks, I presumed she was avoiding.

Most of all though. I was scared of how strong my feelings for her were. In such a small amount of time, after having only spent one evening with her, she was never far from my thoughts. I wouldn't go as far as saying I loved her, but I definitely felt strongly for her. A feeling I knew was only going to get more potent over time, especially considering knowing my family, we would be spending a lot of time in each others vicinity.

This whole thing was a mess. One great big mess, that was only going to get worse. I knew without a doubt Alice would figure it out, and then the rest of the family would. I dreaded putting Bella in that position. But what could I do? If I avoided her, they would get suspicious, but if I continued trying to act normal, they would guess anyway. Either way I was screwed.

I knew I should tell Emmett and Rose, be honest and upfront with them, but even though I still wasn't sold on the idea of Bella being their surrogate, I really didn't want to be the one to ruin this for them.

My only other option was... Alice. Not always the best one, but I knew without a doubt she would help me. She had to, especially considering our Brothers happiness depended on this.

By the time I had pulled up at the curbside, I realized how little of the drive I had paid attention to. It was a good job the roads were pretty quiet at this time of night since my autopilot had clearly been turned on, and I had made my way to my subconsciously chosen destination. Why I had no idea, it wasn't something that couldn't wait until tomorrow or another day, but I suppose I was here now. I had no idea what I was going to say, so I suppose I would just have to wing it.

I climbed the stairs, each step feeling heavier and heavier. My brain wanting to turn around and leave, but my body disobeying it's orders. I just had to get this over with. Like pulling off a band aid.

I forced myself to knock on the door, immediately my mind screaming at me to run now, but my body remained steadfast, refusing to move. It was too late once I heard the locks being twisted open, quickly followed by the door swing open wide.

"Edward!"

"Hey, can I come in? I need to talk to you?" I asked almost sheepishly.

**Ok so think I shall leave it there. It's not that big a cliff hanger, in fact if you really thought about it, it's not a cliff hanger at all. Anyway, please review for me, whether it's to tell me I suck or that you're liking the story, I appreciate all your thoughts :) You really do help keep me motivated :)**


	4. Sorry seems to be the hardest word

Disclaimer : I don't own a thing, it all belongs to the great Stephanie Meyer. The only thing I own is the plot, so please ask before using :)

_Ok so **HUGE **thank you to my four fabulous reviewers - **Motherduckatschool**, **Phoebs**, **KLK27** and **Bandeforever16** I can't seriously thank you guys enough for taking the time to review for me **:D :D :D :D**_

Chapter 4

_It's sad, so sad, it's a sad, sad situation  
And it's getting more and more absurd  
It's so sad so sad, why can't we talk it over?  
Oh, it seems to me  
That sorry seems to be the hardest word_

_Sorry seems to be the hardest word - Elton John_

_Last chapter_

"_Edward!"_

"_Hey, can I come in? I need to talk to you?" I asked almost sheepishly. _

"Edward, it's late, can it not wait until another time?"

"I know, I'm sorry, but I just... I need to talk to you." He sounded almost desperate.

"Ok... come on in." I sighed, opening the door wider.

"Thank you." He strode past me. "You know, you should be more careful who you open your door to like that, I could have been anyone!" He chastised.

"Did you just come here to teach me on my door etiquette or is there something else?" I bit back.

"Ugh, I just can't seem to stop insulting you can I? I'm sorry, I just... I just want you to keep safe." He sounded genuinely apologetic.

"How did you get in anyway without ringing the buzzer?" I asked.

"Um, one of your neighbours I presume were just leaving and let me in." He replied sheepishly.

Looking at him, standing around all my belongings, he was like a sore thumb sticking out. There was no doubt in my mind, especially after meeting his family tonight, that Edward, in fact all of them would never fully fit into my way of life. They were classy and elegant, owned fine things. I lived a comfortable existence, living from one pay check to the next. Not quite struggling but not rolling in it either. I drove a beat up old Chevy truck that my Dad had bought me from his friend Billy Black when I passed drivers ed. Our lives were complete polar opposites. Never fully going to fit together.

Yet here he stood, and I desperately wished he fit.

"Bella... I'm sorry, so very sorry."

"For what exactly Edward, huh? For insinuating I slept around and had STD's, for thinking I was going to use your Brother to get pregnant or maybe it was for thinking I just offered your Brother my body in the bar. Oh wait hang on, I also did that to you in the bar, foolishly bringing you back here for you to just leave without a word. So which one is it?"

"All of them. I really am truly sorry about my behaviour this evening. I guess I was just shocked that things were that bad for Rose and Em, and the last person I expected to walk through my parents front door with them, was you." He began to explain.

He stood awkwardly, his hands thrust into his pant pockets. I gestured for him to follow me into my small kitchen, where I offered him a seat at the small breakfast table. I busied myself making us both a drink, scared of what I would do if I kept in such close proximity of him. I could feel his gaze following me around the tiny space.

"Ok." I said simply, placing a glass of water in front of him.

"And I'm sorry for leaving without saying anything that night. I truly do regret it."

He wasn't the only one, I had spent much of the remainder of that night in tears. Not purely because of him leaving, but the whole days events had finally built up to the point of no return in me. I should have known better than to drink so much especially considering what the day had meant.

I had put it down to karma. The day hadn't meant to be a happy one, and Edward had slowly but surely turning it into one. I suppose I should have been glad of the way things ended, but part of me just couldn't be.

"Why did you leave?" I asked curiously.

"Bella... I've been the victim of a cheater, the pain of feeing like you aren't good enough, it's... well it's... unbearable. I've always promised myself that I would never willingly or knowingly help someone to create that pain in someone else." He told me.

"I don't understand." And I honestly didn't.

"I can't help you break your Husbands heart Bella."

What the hell was he talking about? Or maybe more precisely _who_ was he talking about?

"I'm sorry, my what now?"

He looked at me as though I had grown a second or even third head. I could see in his eyes his own confusion that was quickly swept away by his slight disbelief.

"Your Husband!" He annunciated each syllable.

"And can I ask what my Husbands name is?"

I couldn't believe he was saying what he was, all to just get out of walking out that night. I had no idea where he got the idea that I had a Husband from. Nothing I had said that night had insinuated that I even had a Boyfriend, let alone a Husband, and I was pretty sure the subject hadn't come up again tonight. Either he knew something I didn't, or he was loosing his mind.

"How the hell am I supposed to know?" He asked angrily.

His anger only served to rile me up further. He had the audacity to accuse me of having a Husband and of cheating on the non existent Husband no less. He sure did think a lot of me.

Even with the anger coursing through me, I was hurt by his accusations. A man I hadn't managed to get out of my mind for a month, was now stood back in front of me, trying to lay all the blame on me for the night he walked away.

"Well you seem to know 'him' a hell of a lot damn better than I do." I snapped back at him.

He seemed taken aback by my tone, and I honestly couldn't blame him. My anger was growing by the second, and I knew if we kept going down this road we were currently speeding down, I would soon be reaching across the table and physically show my anger.

What angered me more, was I had no idea how he had come to this conclusion. I mean even if he had been snooping somehow in my past, it still wouldn't explain the Husband part of it all. I had, had two serious boyfriends in my whole life, neither of which I was in contact with any longer. I was completely baffled by the accusation. It was insane beyond belief, and I suppose in any other circumstance I would have found it hilarious.

"Stop denying it Bella, I _know_." He argued back.

"Edward, get the fuck out of my house!" I hissed. "All you've done all night is accuse me of shit. You don't know me, you don't know a _thing_ about me, so please, just leave."

"No!" He answered firmly.

"No?"

"No!" He repeated with emphasis.

I was stumped. I knew I couldn't physically remove him, nor did I really want to. Even arguing with him was better than nothing. For the past month I had spent each night dreaming of him and what could have been. I didn't know why he left that night, I could only assume he had had a moment of clarity and seen how so far out of my league he truly was.

_Man up Bella, the guy just accused you of cheating on your non existent husband_ my mind screamed at me.

The little voice was right, I should be mad at him. Hell I should be furious. In the space of a few hours he had accused me of so much. He clearly didn't have a very high opinion on me, so why should I treat him any better.

Forcing myself to be angry I slammed my half empty glass of water down on the counter and glared at him. It wasn't as hard as I expected to remain mad with him, I just kept thinking of all the things he had accused me of.

"Fine you know what stay, go, do whatever the hell you want." I huffed before storming towards the living room.

I sat down on the sofa, reaching for the TV remote. I had just got my grasp on it when it was ripped from my reach. I looked up, finding Edwards tall frame looming over me. If my anger wasn't currently at it's peak I may have found his presence and stance intimidating.

"Bella, we _need_ to talk." He muttered.

"_We_ don't need to do anything, _You_ on the other hand need to leave. You have absolutely no right to come into my home and behave like this, you spoilt little brat. I owe you nothing. _You_ were the one to leave that night. So why don't you go take a running jump." I screeched angrily.

He looked slightly taken aback by the anger resonating from me. I'd like to guess no one had ever spoken to him this way before, and the last person he was expecting it from was me. Well I had news for him, Bella Swan buckled to no-one. I had been through more shit than he could possibly imagine, and had come through it. I was damned if I was going to let Edward Cullen walk all over me just because he thought he could smile that sexy smirk and I'd drop my panties for him. Which if I'm honest I probably would, in any other circumstance.

"I'm not leaving Bella. Not until we've sorted this out. We need to. You have no idea how much time my Mother will want us all to spend together, and I already have one member of my family picking up on the tension between us, and it won't be long before the rest of them join." He told me calmly.

"That's your problem Edward, not mine."

"I know, but I'm hoping if you will just let me explain everything, and apologize yet again, we can at the very least be pseudo friends."

The question was, did I want him to explain? Or rather did I want to know his reasoning's? Did I want to hear that he had suddenly realized I wasn't good looking or rich enough for his tastes? Did I owe it to him, to myself?

"You have five minutes before I call the cops!" I told him, sitting back down with a sigh.

I think we both knew that I wouldn't call the Police. If anything it would be the perfect opportunity to be in his company a little longer. However I wasn't about to let him know that.

"Thank you." He whispered, sitting opposite me on the coffee table. "Look that night, I was so attracted to you, for the first time in... I don't know how long, I genuinely felt the need to get to know you, not just fuck you."

I blanched at the coarseness of his words. He gave me a small smile almost as though apologizing for being so crass regarding his vocalisation of what we both knew would have happened that night. And if I'm honest I wanted to do right now.

"I still do." He added. "I'm far from being perfect, and yes I have had one night stands, but I honestly wanted more with you. I've never felt for anyone the way I felt for you, and I doubt I ever will."

Wow! I didn't really know how to react to his words. To some degree I whole heartedly agreed. I knew without a doubt I wasn't in love with him, never having been a firm believer in love at first sight, but I was damn sure what I was feeling for him was the strongest I had _ever_ felt for anyone.

"Over a year ago now, I was in a relationship, we'd been together a few years and I truly believed at the time she was the one. It didn't matter to me that my family didn't exactly love Tanya, because I thought I did. I'm not so sure now. But that's beside the point. I eventually proposed of which she accepted. I was over the moon, walking around as though I was floating. Anyway three months before the wedding, I had to go on a business trip with my Dad. It was meant to be over a week long. I spoke to Tanya at least twice a day, each time she whined that she didn't like me having to travel."

He was clearly struggling to keep himself calm telling me this. But I could see from his actions, how he kept running his hand roughly through his mussed up hair and the bobbing of his right knee, that he was struggling with his anger or pain at his recollections. Maybe it was both.

"Edward, you don't need to tell me this. It's ok, really." I whispered to him, reaching forward for one of his hands.

I had the overwhelming urge to console him, to calm him. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and shield him from whatever had hurt him so badly.

I knew that Tanya had clearly done or said something to cause such reactions in him, even now a year or more on. And for that I wanted to find out her last name, go in search of her and beat her stupid just for even considering hurting this wonderful man who was sat before me.

"I do, you deserve to know why." He answered as his thumb stroked the back of my hand soothingly. "Tanya, she hated when I had to travel for business, especially because my Dad would never allow her to come. But it wasn't like I had to travel a lot, it's maybe once every other month or so. She always said my family had something against her, and in truth they did... they do, but they aren't vicious like that. Anyway this one morning I called her and all she did was cry down the phone because she missed me, and by my being away she was having to plan all the wedding alone. It didn't matter that even when I offered my input she practically told me to butt out."

He sighed and I knew he was remembering the events almost as though they only happened yesterday. We were obviously coming to the critical point of his explanation.

"So I spoke to my Dad who agreed that I could head home early. I booked my flight for the next day but I didn't say a word to her that night, I wanted to surprise her." He scoffed at the last point. "The only who got a surprise was me. I arrived home to find her in our bed, with one of her 'photographer friends'." There was so much pain clouding that last sentence.

"Edward... I'm so." I began to apologize.

"So you see Bella, I know what it's like first hand to have your heart ripped out of your chest and stomped on right in front of you. Ever since that day, I always promised myself that I would never knowingly help someone cheat. To help cause such pain to another."

I was still unsure how he had managed to come to the conclusion I had a Husband, but I now knew why he had left. Needing a moment to wrap my head around everything he had just told me, I did the only thing I could think of. I leant forward hugging him tightly to me, resting my chin on his broad shoulder.

"I know this won't help and is so clichéd, but she didn't deserve you Edward." I whispered.

"Thank you." He gave me a small squeeze before we parted.

"Edward, I still don't get it. How did you come to the conclusion I had a Husband?"

"Do you?"

"Do I have a Husband?" I asked receiving a nod in return. "No. Edward no. I've never been married, I've never even been close to being proposed to!"

"Oh." Was all he managed to say.

"Why would you think I was married in the first place?"

"I'm so stupid!" He raked his hand through his hair before getting to his feet.

I sat completely still and watched him as he dealt with his inner turmoil. He paced for a few minutes, never once looking my way. Minutes ticked by feeling like hours. He seemed angry, but I couldn't fathom exactly why. I mean sure had he not jumped to conclusions or at least hung around to ask me, things could have been so different between us, but surely it didn't warrant this level of anger that seemed to be radiating off of him.

"Bella!" He spoke suddenly making me jump in my seat, as he returned to sit in front of me. "I'm so sorry for assuming the worst. It's unforgivable. So stupid. I'm so stupid."

"It's ok. Mistakes happen Edward."

"No!" He argued. "That night we came back here. You went running down the hall. I started looking at your photos."

I knew immediately in that second how he had come to the conclusion that I was married. Stupid, stupid man. Things could have been so different between us, had he simply just asked.

"There was one of you and... and a man."

"Jake was the groom. I was the maid of honour." I told him. "The other man is my Dad, and if you'd have looked at the opposite side of the fireplace, you would have seen a picture and me and... the bride." I faltered slight, but managed to stop myself. It was one explanation I was definitely not ready to give to him.

"I've made such a mess of things haven't I?" He looked so guilty.

"Yeah you have." I answered with a chuckle. "No blood no foul." I added with a shrug when he looked at me incredulously.

At that we both let out a little laugh. Laughing was all we could do at this point. Everything could have been avoided had I not been so desperate to check which panties I was wearing, and had he not jumped to conclusions, of course things could have been much different. But it was in the past, and we couldn't do a thing about it now. Life was too short to dwell on the past and I was determined for not only me to let it go, but for Edward too.

"I'm sorry for being such a jerk tonight." He said softly.

"I think I can bring myself to forgive you. But there's one condition." I told him, seeing him nod warily. "When I'm as big as a whale, I expect you to help me get out of the shopping trips I've been told Alice is so fond of, and hmm, there will be another condition, I just have to think of it first." I laughed, nudging him gently with my foot.

"I can't promise anything, but I promise I will try in regards to Alice. But you should know she's a force to be reckoned with." He smirked.

"So I've been warned."

We sat and talked for the following hour, though we remained on subjects far away from Husbands, cheating, our previous night together, this nights events and the fact I would soon be carrying his Brothers child. In short we simply got to know each other, and I found neither of us struggled to keep the momentum of the conversation flowing at the easy pace it had begun.

I found out he worked for his families pharmaceutical company in hopes of someday taking over from his Dad. He had one Grandparent left, his Dad's Mother whom he adored. His Dad's Father always frightened him as a child and was highly avoided wherever possible.

I quickly moved us away from the subject of family, not really ready to go into my whole history, though I knew at some point it was inevitable.

We spoke a little about college experiences, where he attended college right here in Seattle, where he mastered in business. He was a little shocked when I admitted I had chosen to attend college in Phoenix, with one of the factors of choosing it being to experience the warm weather. Though I did state that wasn't the only or even main reason for my choice.

I learnt that he was an avid pianist, having had lessons from being a young child with both Emmett and Alice, though he was the only one who seemed to have a natural talent for it. He could also play the guitar and had learnt to play the saxophone, though they only song he admitted he was any good at was the solo of Baker Street. That being the only reason he ever learnt the instrument. He laughed when I told him I didn't have the physical coordination to play any kind of instrument.

He enjoyed watching ice hockey, though rarely found time to attend games recently, and every other week he, Emmett, Jasper and a few of their friends got together for a game of football. He liked to go to the gym at least three times a week, but he preferred jogging around the local park. He found it hilarious that my idea of exercise was managing to walk one hundred yards without tripping or falling. Though we did plan to attend a hockey game together, since I admitted I used to enjoy watching Angela's partner and one of our other friends play, during High School.

With each smidgen of information about himself that he offered, I began to feel more at ease with him. It was like we were two long lost friends that were just having a catch up session, rather than getting to know each other from scratch. Just talking with him was just so simple, much like it had been that night. At least I could now remove the blame from alcohol as to the reason for our easy going camaraderie.

I finally bid him goodnight just after midnight, locking the door securely behind him, as he waited in the hall until he heard me do so. The man was seriously safety conscious. But instead of it annoying me, like it usually did when my Dad harped on about keeping myself safe, it simply made me smile.

As I lay in bed that night, unable to sleep from thoughts of the previous evening running through my mind. It had been one big shock after the other. The last person I expected to find at Emmett's parents was Edward.

I admit when Emmett and Rose had initially invited me, I did decline. I had no qualms over how included Emmett and Rosalie wanted to be throughout the pregnancy, but family was another thing. I hadn't really taken them into consideration. It had only been when the two had explained how close a family they were and that they would of course want to meet the woman who was helping their every dream come true. I still had my reservations about meeting them, more so when I learnt they had yet to be told of their plans to go ahead with having a surrogate pregnancy.

I had known there would be certain questions asked, I had even prepared for such. I just hadn't be prepared for Edward to be asking most of them.

They were nothing like I expected though. Neither Emmett or Rose had told me much more than the basics of their family. I had expected Esme to be like a meddlesome Mother in law, but I was pleasantly surprised to find such a gentle, caring soul. She had offered her help in any way she could. The only real issue I had was her invitation to Forks. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her feelings, but the idea of returning to my home town wasn't a welcome one.

Carlisle had such compassionate air to him. Throughout my explanation of the process we would be taking, he listened intently, asking questions as and when he felt the need, though never once interrupting. He seemed more concerned with my well-being through the surrogacy than they actually outcome. Some of his ways reminded me of my own Dad, though slightly more expressive with his emotions. It was clear he was the head of the family, and his children and wife respected him immensely.

Jasper and Alice were like opposite sides of the same coin. Jasper being the calm to Alice's storm. He seemed more wary, protective maybe. He seemed to quietly contemplate my words, looking for any warning I would end up hurting his sister. Though he and Rose were adopted siblings, I couldn't help but notice strong similarities between the two. Blonde hair and blue eyes that could express their every emotion, along with the ability to silently communicate as only siblings can.

Alice was the most similar to what I imagined. She was bubbly, enthusiastic, and extremely hyperactive. Rose had pre warned me about her shopping addiction, and as anticipated, she had begun planning for shopping trips, and what clothes I should wear at different stages of pregnancy. All of course in line with seasonal fashion.

And then there was Edward. He wasn't the same Edward from the night in the bar, yet he was. As contradicting as that may sound, it was how I felt. Throughout the night and his abrupt rudeness, small glimmers of the man I had met that fateful night shone through.

I had been shocked to have found him there, having never put two and two together when Emmett told me his Brother's name was Edward. I should have though. It wasn't as though it was a widely popular name, but for whatever reason I hadn't. I could only assume I was trying to repress the memory of the man whom I had discovered a connection with after mere minutes.

Now though as I laid in bed, I knew I had to sever that connection. Regardless of my depth of feelings for him, I could never consider more than friendship with him. Thinking or hoping for more would only complicate things further, as if they weren't already enough.

After a while I managed to fall into a fitful sleep, only to be awoken half an hour before my alarm, and after only a mere 3 hours of sleep, by the clanging of water pipes. After ten full minutes of clanging, which I felt sure would have woken the full building, I clambered from my bed knowing falling back to sleep would be fruitless. Thankfully I knew my day ahead should be quiet.

As expected that day and the following few days were relatively quiet. I hadn't as yet told Angela my plans to be Emmett and Rosalie's surrogate, struggling to find the words. I knew I had a few weeks until the process began and then if all went well, at least a month or two before I started showing. But Angela was my best friend, and I wanted to be upfront with her. I knew she would support my decision either way, probably understand the reason better than most too.

Other than Angela, I knew I would have to tell my Dad too. I was due to have dinner with him next week. It would be ideal to tell him then, as I knew I couldn't and wouldn't be able to tell him any other way than face to face. I just didn't want to ruin our evening, the first one we would have had in a few months.

Wednesday was particularly hectic, my in-tray at work was overflowing, Jane was on vacation, leaving Angela and myself to cover her deputies duties whilst her deputy took Jane's place. And as expected once the boss was away, everyone seemed to need her. Lauren had driven me completely insane, dashing passed my desk every few minutes into Jane's office to torment the life out of Carmen, Jane's deputy. Jessica also seemed incapable all of a sudden of making decisions and needed Carmen's advice on practically everything.

By the time I arrived home that evening, and changed into my comfy sweats, slumping on the coach as I channel surfed, while I tried to make my mind up what to order for dinner. I just didn't have the energy to cook myself anything. So when my door buzzer startled me from my contemplation, I was not quite in the best of moods. My mood dropped even further when Alice announced her presence through the speaker.

Not wanting to be rude, I allowed her and Rose entrance, opening my door ready for their arrival. Alice had a few bottles of wine in her hands as she bounced through my door, jumping up and kissing my cheek in greeting and making herself right at home, as though we had been best friends for years. Rosalie followed far more sedately, an apologetic expression on her face as she greeted me much the same as Alice, albeit much more calmly, before holding up cartons of Chinese.

"I come in peace, with Kung Pao Chicken and egg rolls." She smiled warily at me. "I tried to talk her out of it, but she's insisting that she needs to organise your outfit ahead of Friday." Rose

"It's fine Rose really." I smiled warmly at her.

"Ok ladies, lets get started." Alice bounced on the balls of her feet. "Bella I need to see what's in your closet."

I pointed towards my room where she immediately dashed off to inspect. I knew she wouldn't find many things suitable in there, I was never one to follow fashion trends or blow money on top of the line gear. I knew by how immaculately dressed both she and Rose were that I left a lot to be desired in the wardrobe department.

"Hey are you ok? You I don't know, you don't look so great." Rose asked as we sat on the sofa.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a hectic day catching up with me. I just need a good nights sleep."

It wasn't a lie. Though the day had been especially hectic, it hadn't been anything I wasn't used to. But every night so far this week, I had been woken in the early hours by the groaning of the water pipes. I had reported the problem numerous times in the past, and even more so this week, to the superintendent, but nothing had yet to be done. I knew I wasn't the only occupant to complain, in fact I had been told by my neighbour that most of the building had, so I was hoping something would be done shortly.

"Bella, how can you live with that wardrobe?" Alice wandered back into the room, a sneaky gleam in her eyes. "There is nothing what so ever suitable for Friday,"

"I'm sure I can find something suitable Alice." I answered through a mouthful of chicken.

"Nonsense, I know your size, I'll pick something up for you." She answered simply.

I tried to argue that I didn't need anything, that I couldn't afford to spend money on such frivolous things or wanted her to buy anything either, but my words seemed lost on her. Instead she babbled on about the plan for the night. A small part of me was really looking forward to my last night of really letting my hair down, but the larger part was dreading it, especially after Alice mentioned us all getting ready together at her place. I knew exactly what was going to happen. She was going to make me her Barbie. Bella Barbie to be exact.

**Ok so I think that's as good a place as any to leave it. The night out is up next. Please, please, please just click that little button right there and review for me PLEASE :D**


	5. All night long

Disclaimer : I don't own anything except the plot and any original characters.

_Ok so as usual, a massive **thank you** goes to my three reviewers - **Bandeforever16**,**Cicas33** and **Phoebs** - you guys are absolutely amazing, you keep me inspired. This chapters for you **:D :D :D :D**_

**A/N : Pictures of the girls outfits for this chapter are available, the link is in my profile :D**

Chapter 5

_So tell the DJ play it,  
It´s only you and me together  
And this feelings so strong,  
Wish it could stay like this forever  
All night long, all night long  
Said all night long_

_All night long - Alexandra Burke_

I left Bella's apartment on Friday evening feeling much lighter than I had for the past month. After initially arguing and my refusal to leave upon her request, we finally talked, or rather I talked. To say I was mildly embarrassed about my jumping to conclusions was a little wide of the mark. She thankfully didn't tease me about it too much.

We sat talking for a while though, getting to know each other, though it didn't escape my notice that she fought to stay clear of subjects such as Forks and family. It only solidified the fact she was hiding something, though I couldn't figure out exactly why.

Just getting to know her was enough for now though. All the little titbits she shared just added to my already strong feelings for her. That however was one subject we didn't touch upon. I wanted to, but another part of me was telling me it was too soon. And weird. Weird because in approximately a months time, she would hopefully be pregnant with my Brothers child. I could see the introductions at some fancy event now, 'Good evening, this is my girlfriend Bella, and this, this is my niece or nephew', yeah real smooth.

I was unsure on how to proceed. Even with the new-found information on her impending status in our family, my want for her never waived. This was without a doubt going to be the most confusing nine months of my entire life.

I spent much of my weekend avoiding calls from my Mom and Dad, and working. Wanting desperately to go and spend more time with Bella, but also wanting to distract myself from thoughts of her. I didn't want to force my presence into her life. My work didn't help however, I constantly found myself sat at my desk staring out of the window at the skyline, thoughts drifting to her. Wondering what she was up to? If she ever found herself thinking about me, like I did her?

The following week went much the same, thoughts drifting to Bella often. Each night when I finished work, I found myself driving in the direction of her apartment building, only to stop myself before I got too far. Luckily we only lived about twelve blocks away from each other, which was both a blessing and a curse.

It was all rather odd, I had gone a month not seeing her, but all of a sudden five days felt as though it had been too long. I was close to giving in on Thursday afternoon and going to see her that night, when Alice called to remind me that we were all going out the following evening. She had already chosen my outfit, in typical Alice fashion, and had it hung up in my closet. Anyone would seriously think I had no idea how to dress myself.

Knowing I would be seeing Bella the next day did nothing to ease the need to see her, but I managed to stop myself. The last thing I needed or wanted was her thinking I was some crazed stalker or something. I was trying to win the girls heart, not send her running in the opposite direction.

Friday could not have gone any faster for me. I spent all day anticipating the night. Alice had already told me, that we weren't meeting the girls until later in the evening at Joe's before we would head onto Eclipse. Either way I was looking forward to seeing Bella far more than anything else. The fact we would be meeting in the very place where we originally met, was not lost on me.

"What time did the girls say they were getting here?" Jasper asked as we headed to the bar.

"Um, Alice said something about they'd arrive when they arrived and not before." I replied, laughing at Alice's avoidance.

I was pretty sure the girls would be rather intoxicated by the time they chose to grace us with their presence, especially considering when Alice had called earlier in the evening to confirm plans, I could hear Rose announce the arrival of her good friend José.

"Hey Edward, dude, how'd it go with that hot chick I saw you leave with last time?" Alec asked, causing my Brother and best friend to turn and look at me.

"Oh um, well," I stumbled, trying to convey the need for Alec to save my ass by giving him the eye.

"Yeah, didn't think you'd remember much of it, you were wasted dude." He laughed, immediately followed by Emmett and Jasper. I simply shrugged as Em and Jazz walked toward a table. I turned back to Alec, seeing him awaiting an explanation.

I had known Alec since college. We were in most of the same classes, and after getting to know each other, we became good friends. When he became bored with living in the dorms, and I wanted my own space away form my parents, we shared a house with Emmett, Jasper and Alec's partner Seth. Eventually we all flitted the nest, which Seth and Alec still lived in. After college, I obviously joined the family business and Alec bought the bar from his Uncle Joe. It was a run down old place, not the most desirable bar, but Joe was getting on and just couldn't cope with the upkeep of the place. Since Alec's take over though, business had boomed.

"Dude, you can't say anything, but the girl. Well she's made friends with Em and Rose, she'll be here tonight."

"Jesus Ed, you really know how to complicate your life don't you?" He laughed.

"Unfortunately so. But nothing happened between me and Bella. We got back to her place and I freaked out thinking she was married, and left."

"Ha ha, Christ Seth couldn't write this shit, man." Alec laughed, referring to Seth's occupation as a writer.

Seth had been a struggling writer for a few years now. I had read some of his work, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't good, it was some of the best I had ever read. He was just unlucky in the sense that no-one ever seemed to want to give the guy a break and publish him. Ok it didn't help that the majority of his work included gay relationships, but come on, it was the twenty first century. On the days where he wasn't glued to his laptop he helped Alec out in the bar, amongst some other questionable temp jobs.

"What couldn't Seth write?" And it looked like today was one of those days.

"He'll tell you later, Brothers and best friends have ears." I pointed out, before heading over to said Brother and best friend.

"So when do we get to meet this mysterious girl of yours Cullen?" Seth asked the next time I approached the bar.

Then by some form of miracle, in walked Alice, Rose and Bella. I say walked in a loose term since all three seemed to stumble in quite noisily to be honest. The noise though, I barely heard any of it. I was completely entranced with Bella.

She stood shyly behind my Sisters. She had smoky eyes, and what can only be described as sex hair. Even from this distance she was quite a bit taller, however I could not force my eyes toward her feet to find the reason for that. Her body was hidden behind Alice and Rose as they searched the room for us.

When they finally spotted us, the girls moved away revealing Bella's outfit. I honestly think my heart stopped beating then. Her dress, some would describe as simple. It was black, strapless and short. Oh so short. I was broken in two as to whether I wanted to go over and cover her up away from the prying eyes of the other men in the room, or go and ravish her. The dress was very figure hugging, plain black ruched material with a gem studded panel covering the upper curve of her breasts. It was like someone had actually poured her into the dress.

"That's her right there." I heard Alec tell Seth.

I was mesmerized as my brunette beauty followed, albeit slower, behind Rose and Alice to where Jasper and Emmett greeted them. Upon seeing my absence Bella looked around the room, her eyes finally landing on me and giving me a shy smile before returning her attention to everyone at the table..

"Well I'll be damned if it ain't Little B!" Seth yelled in my ear.

Little B, who the hell's Little B?

My question was answered as Bella's head snapped up, her gaze falling back toward me. Suddenly her face lit up with a smile, as she staggered through the tables toward us. Seth now having rounded the bar just in time to catch Bella in his arms, lifting he clean off the floor.

I can honestly say I have never, not once in my life been jealous of a gay guy before. But the day had come.

"Look at you huh, not so much the gangly teenager any more are we?" Seth pulled away, resting his hands on her shoulders as he looked her up and down.

"Hey I resent that, I was never gangly. Flat as a board maybe, but never gangly." She laughed in return. "You however my friend, was!"

"Damn girl I've missed you." Seth pulled her back in for a hug.

"I'll just introduce myself then yeah Seth?" Alec stated as he bent around Seth's towering frame offering her his hand. "I'm Alec, this ones better half."

"Bella." She responded in kind, taking his offered hand.

"So how do you two know each other?" I asked, if anything to make my presence known, since I had been stood silently for the last few minutes.

"Oh me and little B go way back. Her b... friend is my cousin." Seth stuttered, though I didn't miss the look of confusion Alec gave him.

"Aww c'mon Sethy, don't hold back." Bella laughed. "You're practically my Brother these days, after all your Mom is getting jiggy with my Dad." Bella laughed as Seth's face paled.

"God Bella, I did not need that mental image!" We all laughed at Seth's scrunched up face.

"Hey at least you haven't heard them going at it, be thankful for that." Bella joked.

"Eww, you couldn't have just left it at 'we used to hang out a lot' could you?" Seth retorted laughing.

"Like I had a choice." Bella cut in. "Jake and... everyone else always left me behind with you, Dad and Billy. I had no choice but to go fishing with you." She laughed, though again I noticed the falter.

There was something definitely going on with her, and Seth clearly knew what it was. If I had to guess right now, I'd say there was or had been, more than just friendship between her and this Jake guy. Add to the fact Seth's sentence didn't make sense. Her 'friend' was his cousin, yet he hung around with her, so surely he would be her friend too. And finally Alec's look of confusion when Seth faltered hadn't been missed either.

After a few more minutes Alec and Seth got back behind the bar to help the few bar staff serve the ever growing number of customers. Tonight was karaoke night, which always brought in more customers. I wouldn't be surprised if some of our group got up tonight. There was always at least one of us, generally either Emmett or Alice, both of whom were tone deaf when drunk, got up.

I stood with Bella awaiting our turn to get drinks. I was desperate to talk to her, just to hear her voice. I was actually jealous of the camaraderie between Seth and Bella, I wanted that, I wanted more than that to be honest, but I would be more than accepting of the easy going friendship they seemed to share.

"You look really beautiful tonight Bella." I leant forward and whispered in her ear.

"Oh um, thank you. It was all the pixie's doing. I did try to warn her though that putting me in these heels, that someone was bound to end up getting hurt." She laughed. "She doesn't listen though does she?"

"Never." I agreed. "Especially if it's your opinions on fashion."

With out drinks order complete, we headed back to the others, who went suspiciously quiet upon our arrival. If I knew my Sister like I thought I did, I'd hazard a guess that she was up to something.

"Damn Bells, you scrub up girl." Emmett declared.

"Um thanks I think. Though it's not like I was given much choice about it." She replied as she carefully eyed Alice, who returned it with her own innocent look.

"So whose up for some singing tonight?" Seth asked a little later.

"Oh me, me." Alice bounced in her chair.

After a while, we all congregated around the bar as those of us who were planning on singing flicked through the folder of songs that were available.

"What about you little B, you not going to grace us with a tune tonight?" Seth asked Bella, who shook her head in response. "Oh c'mon little one, it's been years since I heard that sweet little voice of yours."

"I have not had nearly enough to drink tonight to get up and sing, so no." She laughed in return.

If drinking a bit more was all it was going to take to get her up and sing so I could hear her sweet voice as Seth described it, I was more than willing to be the one to ply her with said drinks. Seth thankfully saved me from this, as he placed a shot of tequila in front of her. Still shaking her head, she took the shot forgoing the salt, before sucking on the wedge of lime.

Bella getting up to sing was momentarily forgotten when Alice clambered up on stage. She was, for lack of a better word, half cut, and no doubt sing a little of tune, but I doubted anyone would notice since even if she was at her worst, she wouldn't be the worst singer so far.

The music to Martina McBride's 'My baby loves me just the way that I am' came on, Alice's face lighting up as she gazed directly at Jasper. I knew she had picked this song especially for him, Alice had never been that into country music until she met Jasper, and even now it was rare she actually chose it herself.

She was surprisingly in tune, and sounded really good. At the end of the first verse when she sang 'my baby loves me just the way that I am', Jasper yelled out a 'damn right baby', causing Alice to snicker a little as she continued singing, causing us all to laugh with her.

I noticed both Rose and Bella swaying slightly and singing along with her. Deciding for once in my life to be brave, I grasped Bella's hand and pulled her into me, before swaying us both in time to the music. At first she was shocked by my sudden movement, looking around us worriedly. Thankfully Emmett saved my ass by doing the same with Rose, helping Bella to relax and move with me. I spun her around a few times causing her to laugh out loud at our antics.

Having Bella back in my arms, felt like coming home. She fit perfectly against me, despite the awkward movements from us both. She just, she belonged with me, beside me, with my arms wrapped securely around her, protecting her from anyone or anything. I just wished she felt the same.

When the song ended the whole room burst out into cheering and clapping, and one very loud whistle that believe it or not came from the small brunette that was stood with my arm wrapped around her shoulders.

Without warning I felt Bella tense, and looked down at her worriedly. Her gaze was fixed on something across the room, but even after trying to follow her gaze I couldn't see what. Even when Alice returned, she only managed a small smile, and a forced hug, which caused Alice to look at me questioningly. I shrugged turning to ask her what was wrong, only to find her turning to the bar and asking for another shot.

I watched her carefully as she stood leaning against the bar, glaring toward the stage. I turned to look in the same direction, finding a guy with long mousey blonde hair pulled back into a greasy ponytail, dressed in a pair of low slung jeans and a plain black t-shirt. He looked a little like he could do with a good wash, but that wasn't what concerned me. He was busy choosing a song, though the moment he reached for the mike, he smirked towards us. The moment the music started, I recognised the song, but couldn't quite place it. Clearly Bella knew though, she tensed even more, her eyes never leaving the stage.

"Well you can dig me up a grave,

and try to stick me in the ground,

Well you can tie me to the bed,  
And try and beat me half to death,

But you can never keep me down,  
Well you can stick me in a hole,  
And you can pray all day for rain,  
You can shoot me in the leg,  
Just to try to make me beg,  
And you can leave me there for days,"

He sounded good, clearly his voice suited the song. My attention though remained mostly on Bella. Who had by now ordered yet another drink.

"And I'll stay alive,  
Just to follow you home,  
And I will survive,  
'Cause you're my Mississippi Princess,  
You're my California Queen,  
Like the Duchess of Detroit,  
And every city in between,  
You can slap me in the face,  
You can scream profanity,  
Leave me here to die alone but,  
I'll still follow you home,  
I'll still follow you home,"

I didn't like that every time he sang 'I'll follow you home', he looked directly at us, or more Bella I assumed. And from what I could tell, neither did Bella.

"You can make a couple calls,  
And tell your Brothers I'm in town,  
Put a bounty on my head,  
And tell my parents that I'm dead,  
And hope to hell I'm never found,  
You can steal me the keys,  
To your Daddy's Cadillac,  
Well you can tamper with the brakes,  
Call it a mistake,  
And pray I'm never coming back,"

Looking around at everyone, who had by now noticed the dramatic change in Bella's mood and stance, I could see they too were at a loss as to what was wrong. I could only assume she knew the guy somehow, but even then to let it affect her to this extent, was worrisome.

"And I'll stay alive,  
Just to follow you home,  
And I will survive,  
'Cause you're my Mississippi Princess,  
You're my California Queen,  
Like the Duchess of Detroit,  
And every city in between,  
You can slap me in the face,  
You can scream profanity,  
Leave me here to die alone but,  
I'll still follow you home,  
I'll still follow you home,"

"Bella, are you ok?" I had to ask.

She was starting to worry me. She had downed two shots during the song so far, and had one before. Her eyes barely left the guy on stage and she practically shivered every time he sang the chorus.

"You can dig me up a grave,  
And try and stick me in the ground,  
You can tie me to the bed,  
And try and beat me half to death,  
But you can never keep me down,"

"Bella?" I nudged her this time.

"Huh?" She finally broke her glare and looked at me.

"Are you ok?"

"Oh yeah, yeah, I'm fine!" She forced a smile.

I didn't believe her for one second, especially when she turned around and got yet another shot.

"And I will survive,  
'Cause you're my Mississippi Princess,  
You're my California Queen,  
Like the Duchess of Detroit,  
And every city in between,  
You can slap me in the face,  
You can scream profanity,  
Leave me here to die alone but,  
I'll still follow you home,  
I'll still follow you home,  
I'll still follow you home,  
I'll still follow you home,  
I'll still follow you home."

The song thankfully ended, the room clapping and cheering in response. None of our group moved though, all watching Bella for any kind of reaction. She seemed as though she was in a daze. I was caught between watching her, and watching 'Blondie', and I thankfully didn't miss the smirk he threw our way.

The reaction from Bella was no where near what I expected. Slamming her purse down on the bar, she stormed toward the stage, though not before snatching the whisky from Jasper's hand and downing it before giving him the glass back.

With the amount of alcohol she had consumed in such a short space of time, I was amazed that she was able to walk, let alone in a straight line. I watched worriedly as she clambered onto the stage and began picking a song.

"What the fuck is going on here?" Emmett suddenly announced.

"I have no idea, but it had something to do with 'Blondie' over there." I nodded my head in his direction, feeling the hair on my neck bristle as I noticed he was watching her with that same smirk on his face.

"Who the hell is he?" Emmett asked.

"His names James Smith." Alec announced after checking the karaoke book.

"That name rings a bell!" Seth added.

"Of course it does Seth, James and Smith are like two of the most boringly popular names ever." Alice replied.

Before anyone else could add anything the music started. Bella, she well she looked uncomfortable stood up there, but at the same time, she looked a natural, if that is at all possible. She shot a glare at 'Blondie', but then focused toward the screen that held the words. I was pretty sure she didn't need to read the words, but it was the only place she felt comfortable looking.

"After all you put me through,  
You'd think I'd despise you,  
But in the end,  
I wanna thank you 'cause you made that much stronger,"

Ok so 'fighter' wasn't your average karaoke song. Especially considering Christina Aguilera had such a powerful voice throughout most of this song.

"Prepare to be amazed." Seth told us all.

"Well I thought I knew you, thinkin' that you were true,  
Guess I, I couldn't trust called your bluff time is up,  
'Cause I've had enough,  
You were there by my side, always down for the ride,  
But your joy ride just came down in flames,  
'Cause your greed sold me out of shame, mhm,"

And amazed I was. Her voice was, well nothing short of amazing. It wasn't anything like Christina Aguilera's, but it was strong, and oddly very much suited the song.

"After all of the stealing and cheating you probably think that,  
I hold resentment for you,  
But uh uh, oh no, you're wrong,  
'Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do, I wouldn't know,  
Just how capable I am to pull through,  
So I wanna say thank you,  
'Cause it,"

Risking a quick glance at my family and friends, I saw the astonishment in their faces, even Seth, who had heard her sing previously.

"Makes me that much stronger,  
Makes me work a little bit harder,  
Makes me that much wiser,  
So thanks for making me a fighter,  
Made me learn a little bit faster,  
Made my skin a little bit thicker,  
Makes me that much smarter,  
So thanks for making me a fighter,"

Bella's glare toward 'Blondie' reappeared, and it was only then that I was starting to put two and two together. Something had clearly happened between the two.

"Oh hell no!" Seth suddenly announced.

"WHAT?" We all suddenly asked.

"I knew, I recognised that name. 'Blondie' over there is her ex." Seth spat, he too by now glaring toward 'Blondie'.

"Never, saw it coming,  
All of, your backstabbing,  
Just so, you could cash in,  
On a good thing before I realized your game,  
I heard, you're going around,  
Playing, the victim now,  
But don't, even begin,  
Feeling I'm the one to blame,  
'Cause you dug your own grave, uh huh,"

I wanted badly for Seth to continue with an explanation, but I couldn't take my eyes of Bella. She looked so beautiful up there, and she sounded amazing. She was so good I swear she could be a professional.

"So it wasn't an amicable break up then?" Jasper asked.

I could tell we were all split, wanting to continue listening to Bella, but also wanting to gather further information.

"After all of the fights and the lies,  
Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work any more,  
Uh, no more, oh no, it's over,  
'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture,  
I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down,  
So I wanna say thank you,"

"No it wasn't. Bella was going through a really tough time when she was with him. He acted supportive at first, but I reality he was sleeping with her room mate, and every other pair of legs on campus."

"Then what happened?" Rose asked.

I knew she was ready to go kill him. She was very protective of her loves ones, but men treating women like shit, she could not stand. She had been attacked one night years ago by her then boyfriend Royce. That was how she met Emmett, he had been an assistant in the self defence class she had taken. Ever since then, she would throw down with any man she saw disrespecting a woman. Actually it worked both ways, when I broke up with Tanya, I thought Rose was going to murder her. But maybe that was just because I'm family.

"Makes me that much stronger,  
Makes me work a little bit harder,  
It makes me that much wiser,  
So thanks for making me a fighter,  
Made me learn a little bit faster,  
Made my skin a little bit thicker,  
Makes me that much smarter,  
So thanks for making me a fighter,"

"Um, one night she found out, she dumped him, but he wouldn't accept it. In the end she had to get the Dean involved, and he got thrown out of school." Seth told us.

I knew there had to be more to it. He couldn't have been thrown out of school just due to a break up turned bad. There had to be other underlying circumstances.

"How could this man I thought I knew  
Turn out to be unjust so cruel  
Could only see the good in you  
Pretended to not to see the truth  
You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself  
Through living in denial  
But in the end you'll see  
YOU-WON'T-STOP-ME,"

"C'mon Seth, I know there's more to it than that?" I asked.

"Edward, man, it's not my story to tell. If she wants you to know the full extent of what happened between her and James, then she'll tell you." Seth answered.

I could respect the fact that he didn't feel it was his place to tell the story, but that didn't stop me from wanting to know. It was clearly important.

"I will tell you this though man. Don't push her into it. She's had a shit few years, and she will tell you as and when she's ready. That goes for all of you." He warned.

"I am a fighter and I,  
I ain't goin' stop,  
There is no turning back,  
I've had enough!"

Wow, if I hadn't been amazed earlier, I most certainly was now. She was hitting all the top notes, her voice carrying for the full length of each note.

"Makes me that much stronger,  
Makes me work a little bit harder,  
It makes me that much wiser,  
So thanks for making me a fighter,  
Made me learn a little bit faster,  
Made my skin a little bit thicker,  
Makes me that much smarter,  
So thanks for making me a fighter,"

I couldn't talk to the others any more, my eyes were glued to Bella. In fact the whole room had gone pretty much silent, quite possibly from shock that such a strong voice was coming out of such a small person. She was putting her heart and soul into every word. Even 'Blondie' looked a little dumbstruck.

"Thought I would forget, but I,  
I remember,  
Cause I remember,  
I remember,  
Though I would forget, but I,

I remember,

Cause I remember,

I remember,"

"Jesus, she is good!" I heard Alec mutter under his breath.

I felt oddly proud upon hearing his declaration. It was almost as though he was complimenting my girl. Of course that's what I wanted her to be.

"Makes me that much stronger,  
Makes me work a little bit harder,  
It makes me that much wiser,  
So thanks for making me a fighter,  
Made me learn a little bit faster,  
Made my skin a little bit thicker,  
Makes me that much smarter,  
So thanks for making me a fighter,"

The moment the last note was sung, the whole room was on it's feet, cheering and screaming. Both Seth and Alec let out shrill whistles, and I couldn't help but smile proudly.

Within seconds the shy Bella returned as she smiled slightly and began climbing down, her cheeks blazing even through the make up Alice had applied. My attention diverted as our small group began talking excitedly about what we had just seen.

I looked up seconds later to see 'Blondie' grab Bella's arm, his face closing in on hers as he spat words at her. By this point I was already on the move across the room, through the crowding of bodies. My eyes never left them, as he said something else, which she retorted trying to pull her arm from his grasp. He let go and lifted his hand to his nose and pinched the columella of his nose. Whatever that gesture meant to Bella, it set her off, her already fisted hand swung up and punched him straight in his nose.

**Ohhhhh what's she punched him in the nose for? Please, please, please leave me some love by reviewing, thank you :)**


	6. I get knocked down

Disclaimer : Sm owns it all, except the plot, that is all mine, please don't steal it :)

_Ok, so a bit better response to the last chapter :D_

_**BIG**, **MASSIVE** thank you to **Bandeforever16** for constantly pimping out the story, it's working girl, keep it up :D **HUGE **thank yous to the rest of the reviewers - **ilOVEyOUh.1001**, **Eeyore16**, **Dramione Cullen** and **Phoebs** you guys seriously rock **:D :D :D :D**_

**Chapter 6**

_I get knocked down_

_But I get up again_

_You're never going to keep me down_

_I get knocked down(Tubthumping) - Chumbawumba_

_Last chapter : _

_ I looked up seconds later to see 'Blondie' grab Bella's arm, his face closing in on hers as he spat words at her. By this point I was already on the move across the room, through the crowding of bodies. My eyes never left them, as he said something else, which she retorted trying to pull her arm from his grasp. He let go and lifted his hand to his nose and pinched his columella. Whatever that gesture meant to Bella, it set her off, her already fisted hand swung up and punched him straight in his nose._

As if it was a reflex he shoved her harshly into the wall and slapped her hard. Already having been angry, I practically saw red. But before I got there to defend her, she slapped him hard across the face before swinging her fists at him. If I hadn't been so worried about him turning on her again, I would probably have let her carry on, but he had already hit her once which as far as I was concerned was one too many.

Just before I reached them he managed to get another good slap on her, sending her with such force straight back into the wall. At that point I reached them both, tugging harshly on his shoulder and landing a punch straight to his jaw. I had barely had time to recover before Bella was pushing herself off the wall ready to go again with him.

I grasped her waist, pushing her to stand behind me slightly. She was having none of it, fighting to get around me. I knew this could turn ugly fast, if he was to fight back, trying to stop Bella and him was not going to end well. Thankfully it was at that point Alec arrived, planting himself between me and 'Blondie'. I grasped Bella's waist more firmly, pulling her so that her back was to my chest, whilst trying to manoeuvre her into my side. However it was proving to be difficult considering the force she was putting into pulling away from me, her legs and arms flailing towards 'Blondie'.

"LET ME GO EDWARD, LET ME GO!" She continued fighting with me, somehow managing to elbow me in the lip.

She had put some force into the elbow, momentarily stunning me, but not quite enough for me to let go of her. Seconds later I began tasting blood, and knew that her unintentional hit had split my lip slightly.

"Oh feisty, shame you were never like that when we were together." 'Blondie' laughed, again lifting his fingers and pinching his columella.

"YOU PIECE OF SHIT!" Bella screamed continually pulling out of my arms. "GET OFF OF ME EDWARD!"

"Baby you have to calm down." I told her softly in her ear.

"Alec get him out of here." Seth ordered as he turned to face Bella.

It all happened so fast. Alec with the assistance of Jasper began pushing 'Blondie' toward the door, Emmett, Rose and Alice all stood in complete shock at the scene in front of them. I was still holding Bella tightly, who was still fighting against me, but not quite as strongly and Seth was trying to calm her. He clearly knew exactly what 'Blondie' had done to her in the past.

"Aww you must be one of Isa's little pack friends from LaPush. How is Jakey doing by the way? It's been what two years now, I bet he'd already moved on weeks later" 'Blondie sneered.

With a renewed strength Bella pulled even more out of my arms, nearly causing us both to topple over, but I managed to plant my feet firmly in place, tightening my ever loosening grip on Bella.

Seth on the other hand spun round and threw himself at 'Blondie' screaming profanities. He managed to get a few lucky punches before Alec managed to grab hold of him, with the help of Emmett, leaving Jasper to drag James away.

"I swear Alec lemme go, I'm gonna kill him." Seth fought back.

Bella was still fighting against me, and I wanted nothing but to go beat 'Blondie' to death for her. Alec managed to shout and tell me to head to the back room. I knew we were garnering quite a bit of attention from the occupants of the bar, so I gladly followed the struggling forms of Alec and my Brother as they practically carried Seth into the small room.

"Bella, you gotta calm down Baby." I told her softly, as I heard her beginning to sob, I assumed through pure frustration.

When we got in the room, it was almost as though someone had flipped a switch. Seth immediately calmed, and made a grab for Bella from my arms. She openly started weeping on his shoulder as he told her over and over that everything was going to be ok.

More than anything I wanted an explanation to exactly what just happened. I could only imagine it was something serious in how it set Seth off. Never before have I seen Seth so unhinged. He was the one normally calming Alec down. It was oddly scary seeing it the other way around.

"Ok, so um do we need to call the cops?" Jasper asked hesitantly.

Bella pulled away from Seth and looked at us sadly. Tear stains marked her cheeks as she bit her lower lip. Seth still looked furious, though he seemed to have harnessed the emotion now.

"I'm... I'm sorry for getting you involved you guys. I really should have just walked away from him." Bella apologized.

"Who is he Bella?" Rose asked.

"He's um, he's my ex boyfriend. We dated in college. It didn't end... well." Bella looked at us sheepishly. "James, he's... he's always been pretty good at knowing which buttons to press to get a rise out of you. And he played me so good tonight. I'm so sorry for ruining your night out." She looked set to burst back into tears.

"Bella you didn't ruin anything. It hasn't been a good night unless Emmett's seen some punches thrown, huh Em?" I joked, trying to clear some of the tension.

At that point Alec walked back into the room with three small bags of ice. He handed one to Seth, then Bella and finally some to me. I hesitantly put it to my lip, feeling the sting hit me sharply, before finally wearing off.

"Oh my God, Edward, I'm so sorry!" Bella's voice broke me out of my thoughts as she quickly dumped her ice and stepped in front of me.

All I wanted in that moment was to pull her into me, and hold her tight. I wanted to soothe her worries and ease her pain. Instead I was trapped in between being a stranger and a friend. As far as my family were concerned we were friends in the loosest term. I was caught between the rock and hard place, and I just couldn't see anyway of getting out.

I managed to placate Bella before she shed any more tears. A split lip was nothing to how I was feeling inside, and I would gladly take the pain a hundred times over for her.

She smiled warily at me, before sitting down on the small, black leather sofa next to Rose who immediately began rubbing her back soothingly. We all seemed to be at a loss as to what to do or say, almost as though we were awaiting a cue from Bella.

"Shouldn't we call the cops?" Alice asked, after a few minutes of awkward silence. "I mean he could be on his way to the station now to report assault."

I had never thought of that. Both me and Seth had hit him and he hadn't retaliated, well against us anyway. I wasn't too concerned in the sense that I had a damn good lawyer who would make sure any charges brought against me and Seth never came to fruition. My one issue however was stressing Bella out more than she was already. She clearly felt guilty enough for bringing us all into this mess, without having to carry the guilt of any possible charges against us.

"He won't." Bella told us in such a small voice I actually thought I was imagining it.

"How can you be so sure?" Jasper asked.

"Because he has to keep his record clean for another couple of years. He wont risk any charges being laid against him."

He had dated Bella. Things with Bella had ended badly. He had a record.

Now I was worried. Had things been in that order, or had he had a record before they started dating, and if so did she know about it? If she knew, what the hell was she thinking?

"Bells, there's more to what happened in Phoenix than what you told me, isn't there?" Seth asked, crouching in front of her.

Her shoulders sagged and her head dropped as she nodded minutely. She looked so defeated, so burdened.

"What did he do Bells?" Seth pursued.

In that exact second when I actually realized he had done something, quite possibly physical to her, I felt anger rising in me. A fury I had never known, a fury I hadn't even felt when I thought my whole world was falling down around my ears when I found out Tanya was cheating on me.

How could anyone ever want to hurt her, in anyway, whether it be physically, emotionally or mentally. Just the idea of her doing something as simple and mundane as tripping and grazing her knee had my heart clenching in pain. So the idea of someone _purposely_ setting out to hurt her, was like someone thrusting their fist into my chest and tightening their grip on my heart.

"Not here." She whispered. "Can we just go finish our night, try and have some fun, and I promise I will tell you everything tomorrow... all of you!"

Her request seemed acceptable, though I knew she could ask for the world and I would die trying to give it to her. If I could give her the world I would.

Everyone agreed and we headed back into the bar, though not before Alec, Emmett and Jasper had done a quick sweep of the room and toilets to make sure 'Blondie' hadn't snuck back in. It took a while for us all to get back to the level of fun we were having before, but after a few rounds of drink, we were getting there.

Bella kept looking worriedly at me, biting her lower lip. If only she knew what that did to me. I knew she was feeling guilty about my split lip, but I told her not to worry about it, it was an accident and not that bad at all.

Emmett really got us all back in the mood by dragging us guys up on stage to sing. The whole bar was in uproar at our rendition of Thin Lizzy's 'The boys are back in town'. Rose and Alice hooted whilst Bella whistled as we finally climbed off the stage. I have to say seeing Bella stick her thumb and middle finger in the edges of her mouth and whistle shrilly, was quite a bit of a turn on.

After allowing a few of the other patrons a turn, where we heard some very questionable singing, Rose and Alice got up to sing 'Sisters are doing it for themselves'. They hadn't got half way through the song before Rose was gesturing for one us to get Bella up with them. She put up a decent fight, but eventually myself and Seth got her on stage. As much as I love my Sister and Rose, hearing Bella singing with them, made the rest of the song that much better in my book.

A few more people had a go, before Alec turned the machine off and switched the jukebox to free for an hour. They made a bit of space in front of the stage for a small dance floor. Alice immediately dragged Jasper off to dance as a warm up for the club. Rose and Emmett seemed lost in their own little world. They had always been quite a loved up couple, but over the past few months there had been a tension between them. But now thanks to Bella it seemed to have dissipated.

"I haven't seen them this happy for a while you know... and it's all because of you." I leant forward and whispered in her ear.

"I wouldn't say it was because of me. I'd say it's just that further options have opened up to them, giving them fresh hope." She replied.

I didn't believe that for one second. Even if what she was saying had some truth to it, it was still her that had given them the knowledge of further options. Without her, I doubt they, or the rest of the family, would have ever thought of surrogacy.

Regardless of the fact that I still didn't want her to be the surrogate, due to my own selfish reasons, I couldn't help but feel grateful for her presence in my Brother and Sister in laws life. They were a strong couple, but not having children had been creating a big wedge between them, and I wasn't sure whether or not they could or would have survived it. Thankfully we would never have to find out.

I was just about to tell her all of this, when Seth darted towards us, as if from nowhere, grabbing Bella's hand and dragging her after him. I could just about hear him yell 'Little B, it's our song baby'. I listened to find out which song was playing to find ACDC's 'You shook me all night long', playing loudly.

Alec sidled up to my side, offering me a bottle of beer. I found it ironic that he was with me, while his partner was dancing with the girl I wished were mine.

"You're a complete dick for letting this one slip through your fingers you know." He told me, like I didn't already know.

I knew all right. If I could turn back time to that night, I would have never have left, I would have made clear to her that I wanted more than one night with her. I would never have let her go.

Even though I knew that fate had played it's part that night, and had it not been for how the events had turned out, Emmett and Rose wouldn't have been given the opportunity that they had, and we wouldn't be here right now.

I just wished I could stop being so conflicted about these things.

Both Alec and I laughed as we watched Seth and Bella dance around, having by the looks of things, a lot of fun. We laughed even harder when it got to the chorus and they slammed their heads together and screamed the lines 'and you, shook me all night long', before breaking apart and continuing to dance while laughing even harder.

It was nice to see this whole other side to Bella. The fun, playful side to her, that seemed to be enhanced by being around close friends, such as Seth. I could only hope that the more time we spent together, the more she would regard me in the same light as she did Seth.

When they returned after the song had finished, Seth automatically reached for Alec, pulling him out onto the dance floor. He had always been able to rival Alice in the energy stakes, and often joined her on shopping trips. Trust me those two in a mall together are lethal.

"You looked like you were having fun out there!"

"Yeah, he wears me out though. Never was able to keep up with him." She laughed.

I asked her how the song had become their song, and she laughed before telling me that they had heard it when they were about ten years old. She couldn't pin point where they had heard it exactly, but one day while they had been out on Seth's Uncle Billy's, small boat, and the song had come on over the radio. The two had started singing and dancing to it, resulting in the boat capsizing.

"Uncle Billy and your Dad were more concerned about us having scared the fish away than the fact that neither of our life vests had inflated fully." Seth completed the story, joining in the laughter.

"Yeah that was the last time they ever allowed us to take a radio aboard." Bella laughed.

"I think they were both more mortified that we knew the meaning of the song. That was the night Uncle Billy tried and failed at giving me the birds and the bee's talk." Seth snorted with laughter. "My Mom was pissed when he told her."

"So that's why my Dad sent me down to see your Mom, and have 'the talk'?" Bella laughed.

I started to wonder where Bella's Mom was in all of this. She had never once mentioned her. Had she walked out? Died? Or had she been adopted? There were millions of different reasons I supposed her Mom wasn't around. It was just one more thing on the list of things I was dying to know about her.

Twenty minutes later, and a few more stories about Seth and Bella's fishing adventures, or misadventures depending on how you wanted to look at them, Alice declared it was time to head onto the club. Seth naturally invited himself along, declaring he hadn't had a good night out in such a long time. After a little bit of persuasion, and what I was sure were promises of sexual favours, which I didn't really care to know about, Alec checked with the remaining bar staff to make sure they would be ok closing up.

We all began filing out, though I noticed the hesitance in Bella's eyes. I knew she was wondering whether or not James would be waiting outside for her. I did the only thing I could think of to ease her mind. I grasped her hand tightly in mine, and towed her out of the bar, placing the two of us between the group. Alice and Jasper lead the way, with everyone else falling in around us.

Just having her hand in mine, made me feel complete. Like she was the apart I had been missing all along. It was hard to explain, but it was as though I had been waiting my whole life for Bella to step into it. It made all the hurt I felt from Tanya's unfaithfulness seem like a mere stepping stone to what was truly meant to be. I would gladly go through it all, all over again just to have Bella in my life.

Looking at my friends and family who surrounded us, it was nice to feel as though I wasn't the seventh wheel for a change. I only wished that like everyone else, me and Bella could be a couple too.

We only had to walk a few blocks before we got to the club. The line for entrance was quite literally queueing around the block. I felt Bella's step falter as she expected us to join the back of the queue. She really had a lot to learn about Alice and Rose if she thought she would ever have to queue to get in somewhere again.

I heard Alice tell the bouncer our party's name, before he graciously lifted the barrier allowing our entrance. Being it was already ten thirty the club was already extremely busy, the dance floor was crammed full of bodies, and queues at the bar were miles long. We didn't stay on the main floor though. Keeping hold of Bella more tightly, I followed Alice's lead toward the stairs that lead to the VIP section. Our own private room on the balcony that overlooked the dance floor was waiting.

Taking one look at Bella's face, and I knew she was shell shocked. It kind of reminded me of the first time we brought Seth into the VIP section, when we were in college. The fact he hadn't needed his fake ID to get in, and our preferential treatment had him cussing every few seconds in shock.

"She'll have a margarita," I told the waitress when she got no response from Bella.

In truth it seemed Bella was lost in her own world of shock. Her mouth was gaping slightly as she took in her surroundings. It was pretty cute actually, especially considering she hadn't let go of my hand yet and when I had tried to drop my hand from hers, she gripped it all the more tighter. Not that I was complaining.

"You ok Bella?" I asked after a few minutes.

"Oh... um... yeah, yeah I'm fine." She told me clearing her dry throat. "This is just... it's like wow."

I wouldn't have quite gone that far myself, but I suppose once you've seen the inside of one clubs VIP room, they never differed that much. Or maybe it was that I was so used to the VIP treatment I never really noticed it any more. The latter was probably the most correct.

After a while, the shock seemed to wear off, or maybe it was the three margaritas that she downed in quick succession. Either way as soon as the girls suggested hitting the dance floor, Bella practically ran over Alec and Jasper to get through the doorway.

Leaning on the balcony railing with Seth he told me that in no way would sober Bella have even willingly entered the dance floor. I found that hard to believe considering how she was moving down there. Her hips were swaying sensually to the beat of the music, as she laughed along with Rose and Alice.

It was a huge turn on watching her, especially when Rose and Alice trapped her between them as they ground sexily against each other. Checking the bodies around the three of them, I couldn't help but notice that all the men within eyesight of them were watching them, with their jaws hanging onto the floor, and drool practically causing a swimming pool down there.

Seth called to Jasper and Emmett to go claim their women before any of the men tried their luck. I began to follow, at the very least wanting to dance with her, if anything to stop any other guy trying to claim her. Seth stopped me by reaching for my arm, his face void of it's natural cheer.

"Just don't hurt her Edward, please!"

It was neither a warning or a request, it was more a plea. It was strange, in all the years I had known Seth, he had never mentioned Bella. I knew he had some close friends back in LaPush, and he visited his Mom regularly, he had even gone as far as saying she was 'secretly' dating someone else, and she didn't think he knew. Clearly that someone had been Bella's Dad. But never, not once had he mentioned Bella.

He spoke a little of Jake, his cousin, and Jake's Dad, Billy who had practically been a Dad to him after his own had passed away some years ago. Yet thinking about it now, he never spoke in any kind of depth about Jake. He had rushed home a few years ago with Alec for a family emergency, and we knew it had something to do with Jake, but were never really given any further details.

So this family emergency, did it have something to do with Bella? Is that what he meant when she had, had it rough for a few years?

The more I thought about it, the more I was sure the two were linked together, but I just couldn't figure out exactly what it was that linked them.

I nodded to him, pulling him into a one armed hug, before heading down to the dance floor. Alec having probably sensed Seth's need to speak with me, had left with Emmett and Jasper and was now busy twirling Bella around on the dance floor. Had I not known Alec was gay, and in love with Seth, I would have felt jealous, but then again, regardless of his sexuality, I trusted Alec, as much as I trusted my Brother and best friend.

"Hey girlie, go get your own man." Seth shouted over the music, as he playfully pulled Alec away from her clutches.

She pretended to pout for all over a few seconds before she spotted me. She took a running jump into my arms before twisting round and sticking her tongue out at Seth and declaring 'her man' better looking.

The conflicting emotions that flew through me upon hearing her call me 'her man', about killed me. Within seconds I was hard as steel, but my heart felt as though it had stopped. Part of my brain was aware she was only saying this jokingly, and she was, well wasted, but the other part was hoping that maybe it was her subconscious breaking through declaring her hidden feelings. God I wished upon wish it was the latter.

"You don't mind being my man for tonight do you?" She asked, turning back in my arms, practically head butting me. It seemed alcohol greatly affected her equilibrium.

"No baby, I don't mind."

Not only did I not mind, it was like a dream come true. Even if for one night, I could be called her man. I was like cinder fucking rella, my dream come true for one night. I could only hope that come midnight, everything didn't turn to shit again, or at the very least I would get my Princess at some point in the very near future.

The dancing between the two of us was, platonic. There was no flirtatious grinding, or rubbing up against each other, which I was rather disappointed about. But I suppose I should be grateful since we were with my Brother and Sister in law, who were becoming rather protective of Bella.

After a few songs, we all migrated back up into the VIP suite. Bella plied herself with more drink, drinking as though she was expecting herself to be dumped in the desert the next day. I have to admit though, she was a hilarious drunk. At one point Seth had been talking about her first crush back in middle school, and how embarrassed she was when the boy found out. Half way through the story, Bella took her ridiculously high shoe off, and flung it towards Seth. Yeah it went nowhere near Seth, however Jasper who had been watching her the whole time managed to catch it, before it clonked him in the face. She giggled her way through an apology as she tried and failed numerous times to replace the shoe on her foot while standing.

The girls requested three shots of tequila each from the waitress, giggling like naughty school girls as they waited. When they arrived, each of the girls stood facing each other as they downed one after the other.

"One tequila." Rose said in a sing song voice.

"Two tequila." Alice joined in.

"Three tequila." They both sang.

"FLOOR!" Bella yelled at the top of her lungs.

I felt a small tug on my hand, and looked up to see Bella trying to get me to follow her. I obediently allowed her to lead me like a lost puppy onto the dance floor, where she seemed to suddenly turn the heat up. Holding our linked hands above her head, she walked us into the middle of the dance floor, before stopping and pulling me closer to her so my chest was against her back.

My dick had been pretty much hard for most of the evening thus far, but the moment she rubbed her sweet ass into me, I was like steel. I don't think I have ever been so hard in my whole life, and let me tell you, there had been times, more so as a college freshman, that I didn't think I could, but true to form, Bella was proving me wrong... again.

I knew she had felt me, how could she not, my dick was practically ready to burst through my zipper. Yeah she knew all right, especially considering she threw a few more seductive moves my way. I managed to keep myself in check through most of them, but the moment she dipped to the floor, then slowly stood, running her ass up my leg then nudging my groin, was my undoing.

I grasped for her hips, pulling her tightly against me, before rolling my hips against hers. One hand splayed across her toned stomach as the other held onto her hip bone. I needed to make her feel what she was doing to me. She raised her arm, gripping the back of my neck, as she turned her head so her cheek was resting against my chest and looked up at me through her long lashes. I was inches away from her delectable lips, and my internal battle to lean down and kiss her was raging inside. God I wanted to so badly.

It was only seeing a flash of blonde hair that broke my temptation. God what was I doing? I couldn't betray Rose and Emmett like that. I had to at least give them a fair warning beforehand.

I grasped her hand from my neck and spun Bella out, before pulling her back in towards me, trying to calm our movements slightly. The last thing I wanted her to think was that I didn't want her, but I also knew that if we had carried on, I wouldn't have been able to restrain myself. It was hard enough as it was. Alec and Seth had been dancing nearby, and I couldn't miss the knowing look Alec shot me.

After dancing a few more minutes, Bella announced that her feet were killing her in these 'God awful death traps', so so affectionately named her shoes. I guided her toward the stairs from behind, my hands resting lightly on her waist.

"Whoops!" Bella giggled, as she completely missed the first step, her body flying forward. I thankfully managed to catch her before she practically head butted the stairs.

"My God baby, I think we need to cut you off." I chuckled.

"Nooo, I am perfectly fine, it's these... these things." She pointed to her feet, though her slurred words told a different story.

"Whatever you say baby." I replied as we walked back into the VIP suite.

Bella sat heavily next to Emmett on the sofa, and placed her feet on the table with a loud thud. Emmett leant over and whispered something in her ear, causing her to laugh loudly. Rose sat at the other side of her joining in on the laughter.

"Good woman, another margarita for me, bear and goldilocks please!" Bella called far louder than necessary to the waitress as she came to collect the empty glasses. She nodded with a small giggle and disappeared immediately.

"Baby don't you think you've had enough?" I asked.

I wasn't sure exactly how much she had, had, but I was damn sure it was far more than any of us. She was definitely going to be feeling it tomorrow.

"Oh hush."

"Edward, come dance with me!" Alice announced, her voice oddly stern, leaving me no room to argue.

She didn't say anything to me until we got on the dance floor. She turned to face me, her eyebrow raised as though she expected me to tell her something. What I wasn't sure.

"Bella's the one isn't she?" She asked.

I knew I couldn't deny it, Alice could read me better than anyone, but I also couldn't bring myself to admit it to her. I knew at some point the probability of her guessing was high, but I had no idea what to tell her.

"Don't play dumb Edward. She's the one isn't she? The one you met at Joe's, the one you've been pining for, for the past month and a half?" I couldn't do anything else but nod pathetically. "Does Em and Rose know?" I shook my head no. "Edward, you have to tell them. If they find out on their own..."

"What am I meant to say, sorry I've fallen in love with the woman you're going to use as your surrogate! The woman I wished was going to carry my child instead of yours!"

Alice immediately stopped dancing, her eyes wide, her mouth hanging open, and for the first time in her life, I do believe she was speechless. With only recovery speed of which Alice possesses, she pulled me out of the view of the VIP suite, in case anyone was watching us.

"God, I knew you liked her, you've been calling her baby all night, but love, Edward are you sure?"

It was then I realized exactly what I had admitted.

Did I love her? Or was it just pure jealousy?

It was love, it had to be. I had never experienced feelings like this before. I could picture her in my life, in every decision I made from now on. I could see her in every room of my apartment, as though she belonged there. I could see her accepting my unworthy proposal, I could see her walking down the aisle on her Dad's arm, making me the happiest man alive, I could see her swollen with our child looking nothing but pure perfection, and I could see us holding this sweet baby girl in our arms. God I wanted it all with her. Every significant landmark in my life, it was her I could see.

"I'm so happy for you." Alice bounced into my arms.

I wanted to tell her that just because of my feelings, didn't mean that anything could actually happen between us. But I knew my Sister well, and she wouldn't take a blind bit of notice of anything I said. Which admittedly sometimes was rather useful.

I gestured for us to go back upstairs but she quickly excused herself to the bathroom. I asked if she wanted me to wait for her, but her reply was that she was a big girl, more than capable of finding her own way back. I left her to it, knowing she would be a while anyhow, even though the night was coming to a close, I knew she was going to end up touching up her make up.

I got back into the VIP suite finding only Jasper, Emmett and Alec, each drinking a beer. Jasper passed me the one they had clearly ordered for me, that had been sat on the table between the numerous empty glasses. I asked where the girls and Seth were, of which I was told that they had gone to dance. We chatted amongst ourselves for a while, expecting the rest of our party to rejoin us shortly.

Ten minutes later, they still hadn't rejoined us, but I can't say I was too worried, Seth was with them, and though he had, had his fair share to drink that night, I knew he would keep his eye on all the girls. It was only when we started hearing catcalls and whooping, that we each stood up and headed to the balcony.

Nothing, and I do quite literally mean nothing could have prepared us for what we saw. Alice was centre stage with Seth, dancing rather raunchily almost as though it belonged in the uncensored version of dirty dancing, something I would rather not see my baby Sister doing. Alice was in the process of removing Seth's shirt, and I knew it would be only a matter of time before the shirt was off, and they were working on his pants. Seth cold be quite the exhibitionist when drunk.

That wasn't the worst of it though, both Bella and Rose were at either side of the stage, pole dancing. Granted they weren't doing a very good job of it, however I could tell Bella was seconds away from giving the guys who were stood close by, a very good show of her underwear.

Dear God I hope she still has her underwear on!

We each looked at each other, before we silently agreed it was time to leave. We put our beers down immediately and ran for the stairs, pushing our way through bodies. I think every male in the club had gathered beneath the poles of Bella and Rose, whilst the rest of the club were egging Alice and Seth, who was now shirtless, on.

I forced myself through the crowd of men, making my presence to Bella known before I pulled her swiftly away from the pole. She whined about it at first, but it seemed within seconds it was forgotten. I met the rest of my family by the doors, Rose arguing with Emmett that he had ruined her first night out in ages, Alice was trying to get Jasper to continue the dance, and Seth just seemed happy to try and strip Alec instead.

Once we were outside, we all relaxed, and the four of us, began seeing the humorous sides to our partners antics. Alec though was having a hard time trying to convince Seth that he needed to quit trying to get in his pants in the middle of the street since neither of them could afford the bail price of getting them out of jail for exhibitionism.

Deciding we should walk a few blocks to try and work the alcohol out of mainly Bella and Rose, who clearly had been encouraging each other for much of the night, we took off back toward Joe's. We hadn't even gone a hundred yards, before Bella decided she'd had enough of her heels, sitting gracelessly in the middle of the side walk and began pulling her shoes from her feet. Struggling back to her feet, there was noway I could in good conscience allow her to walk bare foot. Other than the fact it would hurt, she had no idea what she was stepping on.

I had few ways I could carry her without he short dress allowing her to flash her underwear. Again I was still hoping she had them on. Granted I knew my family wouldn't care, but I didn't know it we would pass anyone on the way back. Realizing the best way, I lifted her on my hip, my arm and hand covering her butt in case her dress had risen up. She squealed at the sudden movement, causing everyone to turn and look at her, laughing at her now predicament.

Throughout the short walk back to the bar, Seth constantly tried to get Alec to make out with him, but thankfully for all of our sakes, Alec managed to keep him under moderate control.

There was a taxi rank just around the corner from the bar, so we walked Seth and Alec back and began saying our goodbyes. I told Alec I'd call him in the morning. I was determined Bella would remain true to her word and tell us more about 'Blondie'. He nodded still trying to keep Seth under control.

"Damn Emmett it's such a shame you aren't gay!" Seth slurred as he hugged my Brother and Rose goodnight.

"I'd be too good for you anyway Sethy poo." Emmett joked back .

Alec was much calmer in his bidding goodnight. I got a slap on the back as he pecked Bella on the cheek, as he told her to drink some water and take some aspirin before bed. Yeah she was definitely going to need it. Seth on the other hand, included both me and Bella in a big hug, squashing Bella between us.

"Love you Little B," Seth declared. "Love you Eddieward."

"Love you Mr Lover, Lover." Bella called back, as Alec pushed Seth up the stairs that lead to their apartment above the bar.

They only ever really stayed in the apartment when they'd had a really late night in the bar, and were too tired to drive to their house. It was perfect for nights such as this.

"You sure you don't want to come in and have a threesome?" Seth called, just as Alec pushed him inside.

"Yes Seth, we're sure we don't want to see your pasty ass." Emmett answered.

"I have a nice ass." We heard him declare, as Alec said goodnight.

It was decided that Alice and Jasper were going to come stay in my spare room. They didn't live that far away, but they're apartment was further out that mine or Rose and Emmett's. So we climbed in the cab, Bella having to sit on my knee so we could all squeeze in the one cab. We dropped Em and Rose off first, before heading back to my place.

I was pretty sure we could have dropped Bella off at her own place, since it was practically in between mine and Emmett and Rose's but after the amount she'd had to drink, both myself and Jasper thought it better that she came with us. Both girls had fallen asleep during the journey, leaving us to carry them inside.

It didn't take us too long to get inside safely, neither girl waking at any point. I laid Bella on my bed, before retrieving some sweats and a t-shirt for Jasper to sleep in, and a t-shirt for Alice, for whenever she finally deciding to come too.

Bidding goodnight to Jasper, I made my way back to Bella. There was noway I would allow her to sleep on the couch, regardless of the fact it was pretty comfy. I also didn't want to leave her alone. I pulled out a t-shirt for her, and placed it on the bed beside her, before taking my own sweats into the bathroom and changing. I retrieved the Tylenol, removing a few pills from the packet and a glass of water and placing them on the bedside for her, before running the packet down the hall for Jasper and Alice.

Pulling some blankets from the top of my closet, I laid a few on the floor beside the bed, before grabbing a pillow off the bed and laying down. It wasn't exactly the most comfortable place to sleep, but I can honestly say it was one of the top ten nights of my life, just being able to sleep in the same room as her.

**Aww, Edward's got it bad hasn't he? I wonder if Bella has any idea, or even feels the same? Anyway please review for me and let me know what you think, whether it be good, bad or ugly. Thank you :)**


	7. Falling for you

Disclaimer : I don't own anything at all really, except the storyline and any original characters – so please don't steal it without asking, thank you :)

_Wow, much better response this week :D Ok so again big thank you goes to my fantastic reviewers - **Linz832** for your four reviews, **ilOVEyOUh.1001**, **Eeyore16**, **Phoebs**, **cbdivalove**, **Bandeforever16**, **Cicas33** and **motherduckatschool** you guys are amazing **:D :D :D :D**_

_**And as usual, check out my profile for the link to my image album**_

Chapter 7

_I've been spending all my time  
Just thinking about ya  
I don't know what to do  
I think I'm fallin' for you  
I've been waiting all my life  
and now I found ya  
I don't know what to do  
I think I'm fallin' for you  
I'm fallin' for you_

_Falling for you – Colbie Cailait_

I felt a rocking sensation, like I was on a boat. The thing was though, I couldn't remember boarding one. I could hear any water either. From past experiences, whenever you were near water, you were generally cold, unless you were in the Caribbean or some place. But I was far from cold, I was warm and snug. My eyes felt heavy, too heavy to pry my eyelids open. It was like they were glued shut.

What the hell did I do last night?

And that's when it all came flying back. I was having a pre-baby night out under Alice's orders. I let out a groan, knowing I had probably had way more to drink that I should have, considering how I was feeling. The rocking sensation didn't seem to be letting up, and if I was being honest, it was doing very little for my stomach right now.

Slowly I forced one eye open, shocked that I didn't recognise any of my surroundings. I was laid what looked like diagonally across a king size bed, white cotton sheets were draped over me, keeping me warm. I definitely wasn't at home. Was I at Alice's? Em and Rose'? Either were quite probable considering no-one knew my address, well no-one except Edward.

The room was still relatively dark, but I could make out a bedside cabinet with a lamp on top, and what looked like a glass of water. I reached over and flipped the switch, being temporarily blinded by the mellow light that illuminated the magnolia coloured room. The glass was water, and beside it were two white pills, I now recognised as my good friend Tylenol. Silently thanking whomever it was that thought to leave me some, I made a grab for them, tossing them to the back of my throat before downing some of the water.

Flopping back onto the bed, I began trying to remember where I was. What I had done that night? No doubt with the copious amount of alcohol I had clearly consumed, I had done some rather embarrassing things. Oh God, please don't let Edward have witnessed anything too bad.

I sat up to take another drink and noticed a t-shirt laid beside me. It was a navy, Washington Capitals t-shirt. It would be ten times more comfortable than the dress. I reached around and unzipped my dress, before pulling the t-shirt on over my head and shimmying the dress down my thighs. Next I unhooked my strapless bra and pulled it out from under the t-shirt and went to drop both on the floor beside the bed.

Edward, was laid beside the bed!

He looked peaceful, but oddly uncomfortable. Which wasn't surprising since he was sleeping on the floor. His coppery bronze hair was mussed up from sleep. His ruby lips were pouted slightly, so kissable.

Of all the dreams I had, had over the past month of our first night together, none had ever included Edward sleeping on the floor. They usually all included us falling asleep tangled in each others limbs after several hours of love making. That's all they were though, dreams. Nothing could happen between us now.

I did begin to wonder though, exactly why he was sleeping on the floor, beside my bed. Surely the couch would have been more comfortable. Unless there was someone already on it. But again, why the room I was staying in? I did feel guilty though, here I was, laid in a very plush bed, whilst he was on the hard floor.

I knew I had to make a decision, but I was too tired, and my mind was too foggy to think clearly about anything. I would probably regret this in the morning, but at least if anything went wrong, I could blame it on the alcohol.

"Edward." I clambered off the bed, and knelt by his side. "Edward!" I gave him a gentle shrug.

"Huh, wha... Bella, are you ok?" His voice was sexily gruff with sleep. "Bella?"

Wow, ok I so lost myself in his voice there for a second. If the man could make me lose it just by speaking to me, God help me if he actually touched me. Oh God, that thought was worse, just the idea of him touching me made my panties wet with want.

"Get in bed Edward." I whispered, forcing myself to remain focused.

"Bella, no I'm fine down here."

"No, no you're not. Please, there is more than enough room in the bed." I stood up and climbed back into the bed, shimmying over to the other side, leaving him plenty of room to climb in beside me. "Just keep your hands to yourself Cullen!" I playfully warned.

God I wished he wouldn't.

After what seemed a few seconds of contemplation, he threw his pillow back on the bed, and clambered up. He eyed me carefully, checking again to make sure. I nodded infinitesimally, before laying my head back down.

Once he settled, I couldn't resist but move closer to him, resting my head on his shoulder. As though second nature to him, he lifted his arm and wrapped it around me, allowing my head to rest comfortably in the crook of his arm. My arm rested across his toned stomach as his free arm fell on top of my hand. It all felt so right, so easy. As though we had been doing this for years.

"Edward?" I whispered.

"Hmm?"

"Where the hell are we?"

"My place." He answered with a chuckle.

It was all I needed to know in that moment. My mind couldn't seem to process any more than I was with Edward, in his apartment. I should probably be freaked out, or at least curious, but I just didn't have the energy to care. Besides how could I care when I was currently laid beside a Greek God.

I felt him kiss my forehead goodnight. It was one of the most innocent acts, yet there was an underlying current of sexiness to it. Lifting my head to look at him, I was met by his dazzling green orbs, that seemed darker somehow. They were smouldering. Aching with want. With need. It was as though he was replicating my unspoken feelings for him, visually.

"Bella." He whispered.

Inching closer to each other, his ruby lips brushed so softly against my own. It was a feather-light touch, but so full of emotion. It was so much more than that first night. When that night had been predominantly about lust, this was love.

Our kisses became stronger, sensual. He sucked my upper lip between his, nipping and tasting me. I felt the butterflies in my stomach start to flutter, knowing where this was headed, but this time there was nothing in the way to stop us.

I twisted my body so it was more facing him, I clutched his t-shirt in my fist, hoisting myself further up. His hands captured my hips, pulling me closer still. My skin tingling all over from his touch. I moaned as his kisses left my lips, trailing down my jaw and neck to my collarbone. My hands ran through his unruly locks, gripping his hair with my need.

"Oh God Edward." I groaned when he found the sweet spot just above my bone, and began nibbling on it.

Satisfied he had made my skin pimple, he pulled away but quickly sought out my lips, hungry for more. I needed to take some of the control back, and quickly, otherwise I never would. He was too damn good at making me come undone for my own good.

I quickly worked myself into his lap, straddling his hips as I bent down continuing his kiss. I licked his lower lip, asking silently for entrance, of which he immediately granted. His tongue duelled mine, his taste meshing with my own. He tasted of beer, and something that was purely Edward. He tasted to me what a Sunday roast would taste like to a man who had been lost in the desert for weeks on end.

As satisfying as kissing him was, I needed more, wanted more. Running my hands down his toned chest and abs. Yeah he definitely works out. I found the hem of his t-shirt and began lifting it up, finally pulling away to get it over his head. My breath caught in my throat as I saw him fully. He had a well defined chest, lowering onto his six pack, and the 'v' that was like a map, leading me to my treasure. I involuntarily licked my lips at the thought of his hidden loot.

"See something you like?" He asked, his velvet voice capturing my attention. He had a small smirk playing on his lips, his eyes though were filled with desire.

"Oh yeah." I agreed, leaning back in as I trailed chaste kisses down his forehead and nose before capturing his lips with my own.

My hands wandered from his shoulders downwards, feeling my way, committing the way he felt to memory. He felt as good as he looked, as I traced the plains of his chest and abs. It was only when I dipped even lower, tracing his 'v' that I heard him let him out a low, guttural growl.

I felt myself being flung backward on the bed, as he hovered over me. His eyes were impossibly darker, fuelled with fire. He looked crazed with lust, as though at any second he was going to rip my clothes off and rock my world.

"My turn!" He growled.

Inch by inch, he lifted my t-shirt up, exposing my black lace panties, my flat stomach, and the under curve of my breasts. I shivered in anticipation. He seemed to drag the inevitable out, placing lazy kisses over the already exposed skin. Always staying clear of the areas I wanted him most. I squeezed my thighs together trying my hardest to douse my need for him, squirming slightly under his touch.

"Patience my love." He chuckled.

My line of patience was growing thinner by the second, and he knew it. He was playing me better than Beethoven ever played any of his symphony's, or so it seemed to me. I sucked in a breath when his fingers ghosted beneath my breasts, following the curve. I lifted my arms above me, prepared for when he finally decided to rid me of the t-shirt.

"So beautiful." He whispered in my ear, planting a small kiss just beneath my lobe as he finally began pulling the shirt off.

I opened my eyes to see him sat above me, staring at me from hooded lids. I felt my blush, my ever irritating, spoil the moment blush, creep up my neck, covering my cheeks in pink. Hopefully he wouldn't notice so much with the lack of light in the room.

"Exquisite." He sounded breathless.

He captured my lips with his own in a searing kiss, before licking and nibbling down my chin, neck and chest. I couldn't help but arch my back, dying for his touch. He grinned against my skin.

"Edward, please." I begged.

"Please what baby?" Even his voice was affecting me now.

"Touch me." I moaned.

Realizing he was pushing me to my limits, he kissed my chest, before finally licking his way to my left breast. He teased and tugged at the nipple until it was a hard bud. He uttered words such as gorgeous and perfect against my skin, constantly showering my rosy peak with attention, before moving onto my right breast, giving both equal amount of attention.

With the butterflies having turned to a hot fire, I needed more. More than oxygen, more than food or water. I just needed to feel him. I rocked my hips against him, desperate for some kind of friction, anything that could my desire within.

"A little eager aren't we my love." That damn smirk came out to play again. If it didn't make me so wet, I'd slap it straight off his face.

"Edward, I... need... ungh... more." I moaned.

My pleading did nothing to speed him up, if anything he seemed determined to push me to my utmost limits. Even I wasn't sure what my limits were, no-one had ever cared to take this amount of time to bring me to such a pitch.

He finished showering my breasts with attention, and left a trail of wet, open mouth kisses, straight back up to my swollen lips. I could feel how hard he was through his sweats, the bulge rubbing against me creating that much needed friction. He rolled his hips against mine, two maybe three times before pulling away. I let out a whimper, wanting desperately for that feeling to return.

He began nipping his way down my chin, neck and chest again. Stopping momentarily to give each of my nipples a little tug and a kiss, before he finally began making his way down to the promise land. He kissed and nibbled at my stomach, trying once again to keep me at fever pitch. His fingers ghosted across my hips and along the hem of my panties teasingly. He pushed them down mere centimetres as he began kissing along my hip bones and just above my panties.

"Edward." I whimpered.

He pushed my panties a little further, looking up at me from under his lashes, that irritating yet gorgeous smirk smiling up at me. His fingers deftly ran just under the elastic, tempting me further.

"Bella!"

His voice was clearly, there was no seduction present. I lifted my head to look at him. He was staring straight back, his smirk still present.

"Bella!" He spoke again, though his lips didn't move.

I tore open my eyes and let out a groan. The room was brighter than I last remembered. Sunlight streaming through the windows, since neither of us had closed the drapes the night previous. I closed my eyes tightly, desperately wishing I could just fall back to sleep and wake up sometime much later when reality wasn't as harsh. My head was pounding and her stomach was flipping. A completely different feeling to only mere moments ago when Edward...

"Oh God!" I groaned.

I had a sex dream about Edward! And it wasn't just a sex dream, it was like the _best_ sex dream ever, and we hadn't even gotten to the good stuff! How could I ever look at him again without being reminded of how talented his mouth was. I was in trouble, like serious trouble. If it wasn't already hard enough to be around him as it was, I had now single handedly made it worse for myself.

"Bella?"

Oh no! He was still in here with me. I needed to think, and quickly. This could become very awkward, very fast.

"Are you ok, you were kind of whimpering?" He sounded unsure of the noises I had been making.

I wished the ground could just swallow me whole. I knew I had a habit of talking in my sleep, which also was intensified when drunk. Please God don't let him have heard anything other than my whimpers, since I was pretty sure I could pass those off as something else. Like headache, or stomach rolling. Yes, see an excuse fitting for my noises.

"I feel like death." I grumbled, pulling back away from him slightly and lifting my eyes slowly.

He had his arms around me. One under me, wrapped around my shoulders, and the other resting on my hip. This was not good at all. My mind immediately flashed to where his hands had been only mere minutes ago. I much preferred their position in my dream. Damn it I had to stop those thoughts.

I hadn't realized with my movement, my stomach protested even more. I could feel bile rising in my throat. With a speed that was completely unnatural for this time in a morning, and for as hungover as I was. I shot up quickly, and made a dash for one of the two doors on the opposite side of the room.

"That's the closet Bella." I heard Edward tell me.

I redirected myself, flying into his en-suite, making it to the toilet just in time for all the remaining alcohol I had consumed the night before to exit. I felt my hair being pulled back away from my face. I groaned again. I couldn't believe Edward, the sex God, Adonis incarnated was sat behind me, being so sweet, rubbing my back soothingly while holding my hair out of the way, watching me make friends with the porcelain bowl. How much more humiliating could this get.

"I am never drinking ever, ever again!" I announced as I reached up to flush, though he beat me to it.

"I don't think you'll have that problem for the next nine or so months."

Thank goodness for small mercies.

Edward helped me to my feet and back into the bed. I couldn't resist cuddling up to him. I was always clingy when I was ill, whether that be self inflicted or not.

We spoke a little, though mostly it was in whispers, my head was still pounding. It as like I had left it in the club with the heavy bass music. Edward filled me in on how I had ended up here, stating though he could have taken me home, he didn't want to raise suspicions with anyone as to how he knew my address, and the fact he knew I would be feeling pretty bad, and didn't want me to be alone. I found his admission rather sweet, and had to admit that I much preferred waking up here with him, than I would have on my own, quite probably to the banging noises of my water pipes.

I was disappointed that I couldn't remember most of the evening though. I wasn't completely surprised if I'm honest, especially since Alice had plied both myself and Rose some odd cocktails whilst we had been getting ready.

It had been nice getting ready with the girls though. Even if Alice was like a little Hitler. She was so demanding, expecting perfection. If that was one thing she had yet to learn about me, was that perfection I was not, nor would I ever be.

When she had pulled out the dress she had chosen for me, I was shocked. Whilst it was a gorgeous dress, I knew it would look out of place on me. It was short, too short for my liking. Knowing at some point during the night I was bound to trip or fall, I knew I would end up giving some poor, unsuspecting bystander a good flash of the goods. Alice wouldn't hear my refusal though, threatening that one way or another I was wearing it. I turned to Rose, hoping for some support. The only support I received was her advise to just go with what Alice said, since she never lost, and that she thought I would look amazing in it.

With a sigh of defeat I had pulled it on, over the black matching lace strapless bra and panty set. The dress fitted like a glove, it was a strapless jersey dress, with a panel of gems, modestly covering the upper curves of my breast. The ruched black material hugged every curve of my body, landing a little higher than mid thigh. I wouldn't go as far as saying it was comfortable, but it was neither uncomfortable. If anything the worst thing I felt was that I was exposing too much of my skin. I kept tugging it down gently, until Alice pointed out that every time I pulled it down I was revealing more of my cleavage. I knew it would take plenty of effort on my part to stop myself from pulling it down throughout the night.

I had thought my shock was over, until she brought out the black satin peep toe heels. The heel was about five inch high, which in my opinion was four and a half inch too high. I was sure I would end up breaking something. When I complained, Alice's only argument was to shut up, they made my legs look terrific and they were only really three and half inch high considering the platform was an inch and a half. Damn pixie.

I sat patiently waiting for Rose and Alice to finish, whilst continuing drinking the cocktails Alice had made up. I had no idea what she had put in them, but I certainly had a buzz going, which was fine by me. I would need to be close to drunk just to go out in this ridiculously short dress.

My confidence took a rather large hit when Rose walked out. Ever looking like a cat walk model, she was dressed in slimline, one shouldered blood red dress, that reached mid thigh. It was artfully knotted in the front, sculpted to the bodice, with side pleats at the waist giving the skirt a little added volume. She stood perfectly in a pair of matching red strappy sandals that easily stood five inches with just a one inch platform. She walked towards me as though it was the most natural thing in the world. Which it probably was if you had grace and equilibrium.

She sat beside me, picking up her own drink and downing it in one, before pouring herself another. She offered me another of which I declined. I might have wanted to keep my buzz, but I at least wanted to last through the first bar. I didn't have a high tolerance anyway, so no point in pushing myself to the limits too early.

I reached for my purse and began checking I had my cell, ID and enough cash to last me though the night. It was then that she told me, that she and Emmett were paying for my evening. I immediately blanched at the idea, I might be giving them invaluable gift, but I didn't need them to feel like they had to repay me. Having obviously seen my expression, she continued asking me to please allow it, it was the least they could do. I tried to accept as graciously as possible, I had never been very good at accepting gifts or even help from others. Always the independent one, my Dad liked to call me .

I was even more shocked when she announced that tonight would also be her last alcoholic night out, stating that since I was going to have abstain from certain things, she wanted to join me too. I found it extremely sweet but also unnecessary. I didn't tell her this however. She clearly wanted to be supportive and who was I to stop her.

It was at the point where she was giving me a hug, thanking me again for everything, that Alice chose to skip out of her bathroom. She looked ever the fashionista in her elegant pale purple dress. It was curve hugging with a sweetheart bodice and a twist and criss-crossed panelling that enhanced her shape. She looked beautiful. Beside her and Rose, I felt like Cinderella before the make-over.

Seeing our hug she jumped in with us, never one to be left out. After Rose told her, her plan to join me in my abstinence, Alice too decided to join in, since she didn't want to be left out, and as she stated, she wasn't going to be the only one drinking whenever we went out.

So with her decision, she began making another round of cocktails. She pranced her way to the kitchen in her ridiculously high five inch heeled, silver jewelled sandals. I could barely walk yet here she was, _prancing_.

We must have drunk another three or four cocktails as we waited for the cab to arrive. How I wished I could learn to say no to the damn pixie incarnate. I groaned remembering why I felt so ill. It was the damn cocktails mixed with everything else I had drunk last night.

"Bella? You ok, you kind of zoned out on me there!" Edward's voice broke my thoughts.

"I hate your Sister." I mumbled.

"Cocktails while you were getting ready by any chance?" He asked humorously. I let out another groan in response.

I fought through the fog in my brain trying to remember as much of the previous nights activities as possible. I remembered the drinking of numerous cocktails, arriving at the bar and seeing Edward dressed in a pair of low riding jeans and black button down shirt with a white wife beater underneath. He looked like sex on legs.

I remembered bumping into Seth. I knew he lived somewhere here in Seattle, with his partner, but I hadn't really spoken to him much in the last few months since coming to live here. So imagine my surprise when the bartender from the night I met both Emmett and Edward, turned out to be Seth's partner. It's a small world.

Having a little reminisce with Seth was nice, and finding out how close he was to Cullen's was a small shock. Sure we had never been best friends, if anything we spent as much time together as we did because we were the youngest, and until my Dad and his Uncle Billy deemed us old enough to be left behind when they went fishing and such, we were always pushed together.

Before High School I probably would have classed him as one of my closest friends, but as with most friendships started from young, we simply drifted apart. He spent his time with a pack of boys from LaPush doing ridiculous things like cliff diving and riding motorcycles, whilst I spent much of my time reading and listening to music, with the occasional... ok regular party thrown in for good measure.

We had always kept in touch though, however infrequent. It was rather hard not to when your parents were as close as ours were. Mostly I just kept in touch with his older sister Leah. We had never been particularly close, up until a few years ago when I had returned from college for a few days. That and the fact we both liked to gossip about our parents then secret relationship. Neither of us spoke much about our family and friends in the emails, it was mainly about the current going's on in our lives. Leah's emails were always so full of adventure as she chased one dream after the next. Or as Seth put it, one guy after the next.

Then I remembered James.

Ugh I thought I had seen the last of him eighteen months ago. It was just my luck that he'd find some way to walk back into it. And in front of the Cullen's too. God I just had to let him goad me didn't I. Singing back to him was probably one of the worst things I could have done, I should have just let sleeping dogs lie and left the bar. But getting into a fight with him, including the Cullen's, Seth and Alec had just made things ten times worse.

"I'm really sorry about everything last night." I sat up, apologizing, though I couldn't bring myself to look at Edward.

I had split his lip somehow in the struggle, and I felt awful. Not only had he fought James off me, but I had to go and damage him further. What a lovely way to thank him.

"Bella, please stop worrying about it. I would, in fact we all would, do the same thing again, just to keep you safe." He told me, sitting up beside me. "You do need to tell us about everything though. He doesn't strike me a someone who will just take this lying down. And I know there's more to it than just a bad break up."

I could do nothing more than just nod simply. I remember promising everyone I would tell them everything, and after dragging them into my mess, they deserved to know. Especially Rose and Em. There would be no-way I would ever let James hurt them or the baby I would carry for them, but they deserved to know what risks there were.

"Hows you lip?" I murmured.

"It's fine, it looks better than what your cheek does." he replied, his voice sounding angry, as he ran the middle knuckle of his index finger of my cheek bone.

I involuntarily let out a hiss of pain. I hadn't noticed the gentle throbbing of my cheek over the heavy throbbing of my head. It was tender to the touch, even Edward's soft caress. Chancing a glance at Edward, he looked angry yet pained. Was he angry at me for cutting his lip, or bringing James into his life. I wouldn't blame him, not in the slightest. I was currently angry at myself for both of those reasons too.

"I don't think you've broken anything, but if the pain and swelling doesn't ease up after some pain killers and ice, we'll take you to the ER to be sure." His voice had taken on a soft quality.

I was thrown, only two seconds ago he looked angry, and now he was talking to me softly, caring. I couldn't figure out what was behind his mood swings.

"I'll be fine, I've had worse." I forced a small smile, hoping to appease his worry.

"Bella, has..."

"Knock knock!" Alice sang cheerfully as she opened the door, peeking round.

See didn't seem surprised in the least that we were both sat together in bed. I blushed a furious red just thinking that she thought we had gotten up to anything other than sleeping. She had a twinkle in her eye as she winked slyly at I presumed Edward, causing me to turn an even brighter shade.

"Good morning, c'mon you two, up you get, breakfast is nearly ready!" She told us, then quickly disappeared.

"Ugh." I groaned loudly, flopping back on the bed. "I now really, really hate your Sister!" I announced.

Ten minutes later after borrowing a pair of sweat pants from Edward, having to roll the waist band over a few times to keep them up, and so as not to walk on the legs, I meandered down the small hallway, hoping I was headed in the right direction since Edward hadn't really given me the grand tour before he headed for a shower. When I came to the end of the hall I came into the nicest room I had ever seen. I walked further into it, admiring the room with awe.

It was modernly decorated, in a minimalist sort of way, but not so that it made the room feel cold and hard. On the far wall there were three tan coloured sofa's and two cream footstools surrounding a dark mahogany coffee table. In the middle of the room stood a large chimney, covered in dark oak slats of wood. A fire was lit in the bottom, and a large plasma screen was hanging on the upper part of the chimney breast. Closest to the door I had come through that stood a dining room table and eight chairs.

I hadn't noticed to my right as I had come from the hallway was an open plan kitchen. It was decorated in the same wood effect as the living and dining room, with a marble top serving as the counter and breakfast bar. All the appliances were stainless steel, top of the range. It wasn't too small and it definitely wasn't big enough to get lost in. it seemed perfectly fitting.

Jasper was stood with his back to me, cooking over the medium stove. He seemed completely content to be stood there in the peaceful quiet. I began to wonder how often he got the quietness with Alice around. Not wanting to startle him when he turned around, I croaked out a good morning to him. He turned and smiled at me, before telling me to sit down.

"Good morning Bella!" Alice practically screeched as she entered the room, jumping up and kissing my cheek lightly.

"Alice if you like me at all, you will at least pretend to be hungover." I mumbled, resting my weary head in my hands.

"Feeling a bit rough this morning Bella?" Jasper asked, though there was no sense of humour in his voice.

"Rough does not cover it." I answered grimly.

"Wasn't last night such fun, we totally have to do it again soon." Alice didn't seem aware of how loud she was. Or maybe it was me.

"Ali, Darlin' I love you, but some of us take longer to recover than you, so please, I beg you, take it down a notch." Jasper winced at the volume of his fiancée.

"Oops, sorry." She smiled apologetically at us both.

She busied herself getting me some water and Tylenol as Jasper finished cooking. The smells wafting my way weren't particularly helping the now queasy feeling in my stomach, but I was hoping it would pass once the Tylenol started working, and once the food actually got in my stomach and soaked the remainder of alcohol up.

Unfortunately my stomach had other plans, the moment I bit into the eggs, my stomach clenched, and I could feel bile rising again. Jumping off my chair with a balance I never knew I possessed, I ran back towards the hall. All the doors were shut, and I knew I didn't have time to search each for the bathroom.

Hoping Edward had finished his shower, I dashed back towards the room I had spent the night. Much to my utmost horror, the moment I reached the bathroom door, it swung open, revealing Edward, clad only in a towel, wrapped low on his hips, water droplets dripping from his hair which he was drying with a hand towel, and cascading down his naked chest.

At any other time I would have blushed furiously, and ogled him, but now I was far more concerned at _not_ throwing up all over him. I barged rudely past him, landing on my knees harshly as I retched into the porcelain bowl. Yet again humiliated by the fact Edward so sweetly was there rubbing soothing circles on my back and holding my hair for me.

"Sorry." I croaked out. "I didn't know where the other bathroom was."

"It's fine. Feel better?" He asked softly.

In response to his question, my stomach clenched again, forcing even more bile up my throat. Right now I felt utterly disgusting. I had a slight sheen of perspiration on my face from all the heaving. I felt truly like death warmed up. I was oddly pleased I wouldn't be able to drink again for at least another nine months. But then this whole being sick, was going to become a regular thing for me.

"Here," Edward offered me a glass of water of which I sipped at. "You ready to get up?"

"I think... I think I'll just sit here for a few minutes to be sure." I replied, turning to look at him slightly.

Oh dear God he was still in just his towel. I knew if I reached out towards him and flicked my wrist, that the towel would immediately drop. Memories of my dream last night came to fruition, and I was suddenly turning beet red. Oh if only the towel would come loose. Even through the pain of being hungover I was becoming very horny, very fast.

"You... you can go... I'll be... be fine." I managed to stutter out, tearing my eyes away.

"Ok, I'll just go... get dressed. I'll be right back." He told me, passing me a wet clothe before planting a gentle kiss of my forehead and disappearing .

He reappeared minutes later dressed in another pair of low hung jeans and a t-shirt. God he looked hot. He didn't say anything to me, just leant over and picked me up in his arms. If I hadn't felt as ill as I did, I probably would have protested, I say probably because I wasn't so sure I didn't enjoy being in his arms. Who wouldn't want to be in Mr. GQ's arms.

He put me down on the bed, before going back to the bathroom and getting me a fresh wash clothe. He sat beside me on the bed, allowing me to cuddle up to him again. He gingerly wiped my face, being careful to avoid my swollen cheek. He was being so attentive, I struggled to keep my mind in the current situation and not return to my dream.

I was confused by the whole thing if I'm honest. I had never had such a vivid dream of that kind, and certainly not one about someone I knew. Usually they had just been fantasy type dreams, you know like Brad Pitt declaring his undying love after rescuing me from some form of bad guys or that really hot actor Robert Pattinson turning all vampire on me, biting my neck and telling me he'd love me forever. Yeah nothing at all like my dream last night.

Sure it wasn't hard to believe that Edward could be the leading man of my dreams. He was handsome, charming, a perfect gentleman. What I couldn't figure out was why I had associated myself as his leading lady. Sure I liked him, liked him enough to have a one night stand with him, liked him enough to have him on my mind for the month between our meetings. But liked him enough to have a sex dream about him? It was probable, but now I just felt awkward around him. Like he could tell I was thinking of him naked.

I couldn't allow this... this thing to go any further. It was already complicated enough considering our near miss of a one night stand, and now I was going to carry his Brother's baby. I had vowed when I had originally put my name on the surrogates list, that whenever or if ever I got picked, I was willing to put my life on semi hold for nine months. But now I wasn't so sure. Having Edward involved was going to make this more difficult.

The Cullen's were a close family. Rosalie had already warned me that they wanted to be as involved with the pregnancy as I would allow, and they wanted to spend as much time with me as possible, the only catch was, they wanted me to get to know their family too. Which wasn't a problem per say, the Cullen's were such a lovely family. I just didn't want to make my walking away at the end any harder.

"Bella?" Alice's voice whispered. "Here's some more Tylenol since you probably threw up the last lot you took."

She was being so sweet. She tiptoed her way over to the bed and passed Edward the glass of water and tablets, before telling me that Rose and Emmett were on their way and Rose was going to bring us both some clothes. I felt like telling her not to bother, Rose's clothes would be practically skin tight on me, and I was more than comfortable in Edward's clothes, breathing in his musky pine scent.

"You might feel better after a shower baby." Edward spoke softly as he ran his fingers soothingly over my scalp.

I nodded my head pathetically. I wanted a shower to at least freshen up, but I also didn't want to leave the comfort of his arms. Who knew when I could be back in them again. I was such a masochist, I wanted him, but couldn't have him, so in the mean time, I'll just allow myself to get closer to him. Yeah real good plan there.

Edward disappeared momentarily to start the shower for me, only returning to let me know it was ready. He excused himself to give me some privacy, though not before telling me he had left whatever toiletries I might need on the bathroom counter.

In my earlier visits to his bathroom, I hadn't taken notice to how large it was. As soon as you walked through the door, the sink was in front of you, a square ceramic sink sunk into the marble that was in similar colour the that of the kitchen. A large mirror hung above it, making the room feel much bigger and open. Directly to the right of the sink was a huge bath. I was insanely jealous. The space of my small apartment didn't allow for a bath so I had to make do with the shower cubicle instead. Above the bath were two windows that gave an absolutely gorgeous view of Seattle. I just hoped it was one way glass. To the left was a huge shower cubicle with frosted glass, that had already steamed up from the heat of the shower. And beyond that laid my new best friend, the toilet. I was still unsure how comfortable I was stripping with the large windows right there. What if they weren't one way?

"Edward?" I called, almost immediately hearing him call back. "The windows..."

"Don't worry Bella, it's one way glass, no-one will see you." He called back, laughter evident in his voice.

Quickly stripping out of my clothes, I climbed carefully into the shower. Falling was not an option today. I may have gotten to know Edward on a much more intimate level last night in my sleep, but I was certainly not ready for him to become more intimate with me.

The spray relaxed my muscles, it was heavenly. I could have stayed under there all day. But after washing my hair and body, the water unfortunately started going cold. It had thankfully though revived me somewhat, and I was feeling much more human. My headache was beginning to cease, and my stomach seemed to have settled.

I wrapped myself up in a huge, fluffy bath towel. It was so soft against my skin I was tempted to ask Edward what detergent he used. It probably wasn't the detergent though. The towels alone looked as though they cost the same as my weekly grocery bill.

Peeking my head out of the door, I found the room empty, though a small pile of clothes were laid on the bed. I tiptoed over to them, feeling almost as though I was doing something wrong just by being on my own in the room. There were a pair of jeans and a plain white camisole laid with a pair of panties. Rose.

I dressed quickly, finding the jeans fitted snugly, but not too tight that they were uncomfortable. Though once fully dressed, I returned to the bathroom and collected the clothes I had been wearing earlier. I slipped the t-shirt back on since the camisole was just a little too revealing for my liking even with my bra from last night on. Plus I wanted an excuse to keep Edward's t-shirt since it smelt like him.

I sat on the edge of the bed, knowing what was waiting for me on the other side of the door. The whole family would be sat out there, wanting to hear my explanation for everything regarding James. I knew they needed to know, they had a right to know, but it didn't make telling them any easier. James was a sore point in my life, and it wasn't a time in my life I was particularly proud of the way I handled things.

The thing that scared me the most was Seth. He knew part of what happened with James, since my Dad knew part of it, and had obviously told Sue, who had told Seth. I could remember the day he had found out, and called asking if I needed him to come down to Phoenix and kick some ass, since the one person who would usually do it for me without even asking, was currently indisposed. Seth and quite probably Alec knew how the two events linked in my life, but whilst I was willing to share one, I wasn't quite ready to share the other.

Just as I was building the courage up, there was a tentative knock on the door. I called for whoever it was to come in, surprised to find it was Emmett. He asked if I was feeling better, of which I shrugged before nodding slightly. He sat beside me before wrapping his arm protectively around my shoulders and rubbing my upper arm.

"You know we just want to help you right. We don't want him to have any opportunity to hurt you." His voice was quiet, much quieter than I had ever heard him talk before. There was none of his usual cheeriness present.

"I know." I nodded. "I just don't want any of you to hate me." I admitted sadly.

"Why, why would we _ever_ hate you?" He sounded confused.

"For dragging you into this mess. For the things I did. For not being stronger. For letting him do the things he did... I don't know." I could feel the tears building up and I fought to keep them to myself.

He didn't say another word, he just pulled me into him tighter, wrapping his other arm around me, making me feel safe, cared for and loved.

**Hmm I wonder what happened. I know this chapter was pretty boring, not much happening, but I wanted to get a bit of Edward and Bella in there, as well as describe events, objects and clothes a little better, since I always seem to suck at doing this. I also wanted to give you all a little lemony goodness, without taking it too far too early. I gotta say, I'm pretty damn proud of the semi lemon in this chapter, I'm usually so bad at writing them that I give in. So yay me lol. An yways please, please review for me. It does make all the difference. Thank you in advance :D**


	8. Who I am hates who I've been

Disclaimer : I don't own anything except the plot, which to the best of my knowledge is original, so please don't steal it :)

_**A/N : **Ugh so I am really sorry it has taken me song long to get this chapter out, I had it on track for last week, but in the read through, there were loads of stupid little things I didn't like, so I re-wrote it, only to find stupid amounts of things I didn't like it the second draft. So here we are five drafts later lol. I truly am sorry, and appreciate your patience. _

_Ok, so as usual **Massive** thank you's to my reviewers - **Cheermom13**, **Linz832**, **ilOVEyOUh.1001**, **Eeyore16**, **Bandeforever16** and **Phoebs** you guys are as usual truly amazing **:D :D :D :D**_

Chapter 8

_I'm sorry for the person I became.  
I'm sorry that it took so long for me to change.  
I'm ready to be sure I never become that way again  
'cause who I am hates who I've been.  
Who I am hates who I've been_

_Who I am hates who I've been - Relient K_

Eventually I had to face the music, and followed Emmett down the hall back into the living room. I can't honestly say I was at all surprised to find everyone sitting there, waiting patiently, or _im_patiently for a certain someone. Emmett dragged me over to where Rose was sitting and pulled me between them, almost as though they were the ones that were going to protect me.

I suppose they felt semi responsible for me, since to they were the ones who had brought me into their familial group. For whatever reason it was they chose consciously or subconsciously to have me sitting between them, I was grateful. I wasn't sure I could sit beside Seth, feeling what I was sure would be some form of anger once I had told them what I needed to. I couldn't sit beside Edward either, there was just too much between us that was unspoken right now. I was ashamed enough of myself as it was, without feeling anyone else's disappointment in me too.

"You feeling any better Bells?" Alice asked kindly.

"What the hell did you put in those cocktails Alice?"

"Erm I honestly have no idea B, it's whatever is handy at the time." She replied sheepishly.

"Jesus Alice never again."

"I hear ya girlfriend!" Seth announced causing chuckles to emanate around the room.

"Seth the whole of down town Seattle heard you last night _girlfriend_." Emmett teased.

Laughter erupted again, as conversation began flowing, albeit a little quieter than I had become accustomed to with this family. Parts of the previous evening were still at a loss for me, but for the most part, I knew I had, had fun. Hearing the others interpretation of the evening was fun, especially considering everyone's 'beer googles' were different thickness'.

I groaned along with Rose when we were informed about our stint as pole dancers the night before. Having been told about it, certainly brought back the memory of doing it, though I couldn't for the life of me remember how or why we came to the decision. I knew without a doubt, that the copious amount of alcohol I had consumed had everything to do with it, considering I would never have had the courage to have done it without.

Talking about last night, lead to memories of previous nights, and though I hadn't been a part of them, I felt no rush to push them along, knowing that it would only lead to a conversation I was in absolutely no rush to have. On the other hand it was nice hearing about the fun times they had, had. It reminded me of times when things hadn't been so dismal for me. Of times back in High School where I was sure I became the sole reason for each and every single grey hair upon my Dad's head. Of the first few years of college, where partying on Friday and Saturday nights were a regular thing with little repercussions on school work.

I couldn't help feeling a little jealous though, they were such a close group, having shared much of their memorable times together. I hadn't been quite to so lucky. I had a very small group of close friends, Angela being one of them, and through her, Ben. Mike was another friend I had known much of my life, and had followed me to Phoenix. There he met Jessica. She had lived across the hall in Residence, and toward the end of my second year, she had become my room mate. There was also Victoria, who at some point I had classed a good friend. Living with someone for a year and a half does make you close, or so I had believed.

I had spent most of my college life with Mike, Jess and eventually James. I had a few other class mates, but none I would call true friends. The only social time we spent together was if we bumped into each other at parties. Any friends I had, James soon distanced from me, though at the time I didn't know.

"Ok, I think we've beaten around the bush long enough." Seth said as the laughter from the last story died down. "Bella, I think you really need to tell us the extent of who James is and what the hell he did!"

I had never really witnessed Seth as being so direct. That was definitely his older Sister, Leah's territory. Leah was never one to beat around the bush, Seth though was usually her complete opposite.

I couldn't blame him this time. I had dragged him into this whole mess by singing that damn song, let alone staying in the same room as James. I should have left, the moment I saw him there. There were millions of things I should have done, but I had stupidly chosen to go against every one of them.

"Look Bella, I agree with Seth, I think we need to know what he did to you, but you have to be ok with telling us, and you have to do it in your own time." Edward told me as he sat on the edge of the chair next to Emmett, giving Seth a pointed look.

"No, no you guys, you deserve to know the truth. You need to know what I have potentially dragged you into."

I hated this. Hated that I had included them in my mess. Hated that James could harm any of them. Sure it was unlikely, I doubted even he was that vindictive, but it was still a possibility in my mind.

I didn't know where to start, where to finish, what to include and what to exclude. There were certainly parts I definitely could do without going into, but would they deem those parts a need to know. I knew Seth, and by association, Alec, would know, but could I really exclude the others from that?

I was also fearful of their reaction. I was ashamed of the events that took place. My weakness, my stupidity and my naivety. Why I hadn't seen James for what he truly was, long before I did, and even after Mike and Jess had tried to warn me. No I had been too caught up in my own ignorance to see what had always been right in front of me. I was a Cops kid for Christ sake, should I not be able to see his kind of people when they were in front of me?

"I hate having to ask though. But I need to know, anything I tell you..."

"Won't go further than this room. Right guys?" Jasper interrupted, receiving unanimous agreements from around the room.

"Thank you. It's just, my Dad. He knows most of it. There's just part of it, I couldn't... I couldn't tell him." I was ashamed of this. I knew he should know, but how could I? "He... well he would have loaded his shot gun and tried to kill him. I just, I couldn't."

it was true. After the events, there was one pivotal part I had forgone sharing with my Dad. Without a shadow of a doubt, he would have pulled out his shot gun, and hunted James' sorry ass until he found him and killed him. My Dad had been a law abiding citizen his whole life, hell he was an a Police Chief, he had spent his whole working life making sure others followed the law. But I knew this was one instance he wouldn't have hesitated to break it.

"Damn Bell, now you're scaring me." Seth told me.

I wasn't at all surprised. He knew my Dad well. Knew how much of a relaxed man he was. Always thought before he acted. He was usually the calm one in every circumstance.

"Sorry." I muttered.

I was sorry. So incredibly sorry, none of them would every truly know how much.

"Take your time Bella!" Emmett gave my shoulder an encouraging squeeze.

"It's fine, I just don't know where to start." I forced a smile.

Saying the beginning was no use to me. I just wasn't sure where the beginning was. Where exactly this whole mess started. The easy answer may have been the moment I met James. Or maybe it was when I moved to Phoenix, or even then, maybe it was when I went on my first date with him. So many beginnings.

"I guess, this whole nightmare started when I moved to Phoenix for college. Which is ironic really considering I thought it was the best decision ever. You have to understand that Forks is a small town. Everyone knows everyone else, and there are no unknowns. There are no secrets, and nowhere to hide. And if you're really lucky, even the people down in LaPush known you, or of you." I winked at Seth, causing him a chuckle. "So with that in mind, imagine being the Chief of Police's daughter."

"Hey c'mon Bells, don't sell yourself short, you're not just any daughter, you're the _delinquent_ daughter." Seth laughed. I thanked God that he was helping me keep the air in the room as light as possible.

"Gee Seth, thanks for reminding me." I laughed. "He's right though. I believe it or not acted out, quite a bit when I was a teenager. And of course since you couldn't go for a crap in that town without at least someone knowing about it, well I pretty much always got caught. Usually after whatever the hell it was I was doing, but still, caught every time."

"You sure you weren't just crap at hiding it." Emmett teased, nudging me playfully.

"Nah man, she was excellent. She could have gotten you out of Fort Knox undetected. Well so long as Fort Knox wasn't in Forks." Seth laughed.

"I was Chief Charlie's daughter, so I pretty much might as well have been under twenty four hour surveillance." I admitted. "Anyway, imagine spending your whole life being nothing more than Chief Swans daughter. Of course everyone knew my name, but when referring to me, it was never Bella or Isabella, it was always and probably still is Chief Swan's daughter."

It wasn't that I wasn't proud to be my Dad's daughter, but I had always hated the anonymity of it all. It made me feel less of a person, nameless and faceless.

"So that was one of the deciding factors of going out of state for college. I wanted for once in my life to not be known by who my Dad was. That and Phoenix was one of the best offers I got."

My other reasons were beside the point. No-one knew of them but me. I was ashamed of them, and regretted them deeply. Had I known then... well things would probably have been incredibly different.

"It was when I first got to Phoenix, that I met James. He lived in the Frat house next to my res building. He was in his second year, popular, with both the guys and girls. Good looking, athletic. Everything that girls swooned over. Admittedly even me. Most of the girls in my building wanted him. Hell thinking about it, most probably even dated him. But however he did it, his 'escapades' were never spoken of."

Looking around the room, it seemed everyone was lost in my story. All paying rapt attention to every detail. I held a finger up, gesturing to give me a minute, and made to get up for a drink. Before I could even get out of my seat, Edward had darted toward the kitchen, returning with bottles of water and a pitcher of fresh juice.

"Anyway, first year of college, living away from home, it's only natural to party right?" I asked rhetorically, seeing a few smiles, silently acknowledging their agreement. "At least once a week the Frat house next door had some kind of party, so naturally we'd go."

"We?" Alice broke in to ask.

"Oh um, Mike a friend from Forks, went with me to Phoenix. He started dating a girl who lived across the hall, Jess. And my room mate Victoria. I went to pretty much every party with Mike and Jess, often seeing Victoria there, but it was rare we actually went together. In fact other than at parties I rarely saw her. She used our room more as a closet than anything." I rolled my eyes in remembrance.

I didn't need to explain Victoria too much, she and I were never close. Thankfully. Compared to everything else, she was a blip on the radar. Not worth much thought. In the end, she had done nothing more than I expected of her.

"It was always a bit weird at first, not knowing anyone, so the three of us usually stuck together. But I guess you soon get to know people, and the more comfortable we got, the more I broke away from Mike and Jess. No-one wants to hang around the new loved up couple right?" I smiled remembering how truly loved up they were. "I never thought it odd that wherever I was in the room, I would always be able to find James. It helped that there was always hordes of girls hanging off of him. But it was like wherever I went he went. Which it probably was."

There was so many warning signs, now that I thought about it. What I had never figured out though, even when I thought it was all innocent, was, why me?

"He was untouchable though. I mean what in the hell would he see in a lowly freshman like me, right? But with every party I saw him at, he seemed to physically get closer and closer to me, until maybe about six months into my first year, when he finally approached me at the bar. He introduced himself as though I would have no reason what so ever to know who he was. He knew me though, said he'd asked around. We spoke for a while, but he never tried anything, didn't even ask me out. He just told me to have a good time, and if ever I needed someone to walk me home, I could count on him."

Sure I could count on him alright. Just not to walk me home.

"Over the following few months, I saw him and spoke to him much more. He was beginning to even turn up in my life outside of parties. Once or twice even walking with me between my classes. The more I got to know him, the more I learnt how much we had in common. Other girls were pretty jealous and curious of the attention he was giving me, I'd be lying if I too said I wasn't curious in his interest of me. Each time I questioned it though, I just put it down to having loads in common." I scoffed. "That's how stupid and naïve I was."

"Bella you aren't stupid, not at all. People like him are just real good at playing people." Rose comforted me, giving my hand a squeeze.

"I only went home for a few weeks that Summer, and when I got back to res, there weren't many people around. James however was. So we spent even more time together. He seemed like the perfect guy, and I do seriously mean perfect. He would call in a morning and tell me he was taking me out somewhere for the day, he'd pay for everything, and we'd have such a good time. He never pressured for anything. I think it even crossed my mind at one point that he might be gay."

I laughed internally at my own stupidity. I remember even asking Victoria's opinion and she had laughed and told me I was being absurd.

"When school started again, he seemed to want to spend even more time together. Mike and Jess tried even then to warn me that there was something odd about him. He never seemed to have classes , or the need to study. He always somehow knew when and where my classes were, even without being told. I just couldn't see it though."

I didn't think that it was that I didn't see what was happening, I think it was more that I just didn't _want_ to see it happening.

"Just before Christmas vacation, he finally officially asked me out. I was understandably over the moon. I couldn't understand how someone like James would want to date someone like me, but I wasn't stupid enough to throw the opportunity away. I guess I wanted to prove to myself and to all the other girls who had made bitchy comments about him just feeling sorry for me, that I was actually worth his time."

I felt the tears spring to my eyes at the memory of how utterly worthless I had felt by their comments. How I knew they were probably true, but wished upon wish that they weren't.

"Oh Bella." Alice looked at me saddened.

"I asked him to come home with me that vacation. He didn't get on with his family, so he was planning on staying in the Frat house. He said he would love to, but he didn't want to butt in on my time with my family. I tried a few times but he was adamant that he would be fine there, that there were quite a few of the Frat guys not heading home."

Of course, little did I know, there were other, more important people not heading home. I just wasn't aware of it.

"He even dropped me, Mike and Jess at the airport, and walked us right up to the security gate, where he was more affectionate with me than he ever had been. He told me over and over that he'd miss me, and made me promise I'd call him every day. It was odd for him to behave that way, almost like he was insecure about me leaving. But I thought he was just being sweet."

Yeah he was definitely insecure about the possibility I was going to do the one thing he had planned for himself to do while I was away.

"The whole time I was back in Forks, he was texting me constantly, wanting to know what I was doing, and who I was with. Again with the stupidity, I just thought he was being sweet and everything." I shook my head with a roll of my eyes. "He was so happy to see me when we got back to Phoenix, even Mike and Jess were... surprised. And within days we were back into our old routine."

I looked at Seth and Alec. They would know some of the next part, the part I was determined to cut out. All things considered, it had nothing to do with James. It was just an event that made me see some of his true colours that much quicker.

"The whole time we had going out, even when it was just as friends, James had always encouraged me to go to parties with him. But he never pushed when I said no. He simply went to whatever parties he wanted, regardless of whether I was with him or not, and he was ok with that, or at least he seemed to be. After the vacation though, I knew I needed to buckle down with my school work though, and for the first time ever, James pushed me to go to a few parties."

"When you say pushed?" Edward asked. His voice was hard, cold, like he was angry.

"Never physically forcing, like I said last night, James knows how to push your buttons, how to get you to do what he wants without allowing it to seem that way. Guilt trips mostly, other times bribing. The thing is though he is clever with it. Never making it seem that way. Always making it seem as though he's just giving you a gentle push, encouraging."

"Bella?" Seth's voice was strained, his eyes darker than ever. A known sign of Seth's anger. "Was he ever...?" He needn't finish, I knew exactly what he was asking.

"No Seth. Never in the way you think."

"In what way then?" His anger was heightening. I knew it, and Alec certainly did, as he immediately began trying to calm him.

"I'm coming to that bit, but you have to let me explain. It isn't as clean cut as all that." I plead with him. "Seth, I wanna tell you, but you have to promise me now. All of you do. That this goes no further, that you do nothing about it. That if you see James... ever, you walk away. You don't talk to him, you don't even look at him. You need to promise me this!"

"Ok, now you're scaring even me." Emmett stated from beside me.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to, but you have to at least promise me that."

The last thing I needed was any of them going out for blood. James was dangerous. Maybe not in the gun wielding sense of the word, but he could hurt a lot of people, least of all me. I could and would cope with whatever he threw my way, but I couldn't stand for anyone else to get hurt.

"We promise... don't we boys!" Alice stated sharply.

After a chorus of half hearted agreement from everyone, I glanced around the room, looking each of them in the eyes, trying to figure out whether they were telling me the truth.

"Jess and Mike had always thought there was something off with him, and I finally started to notice little things that made me think they were right. I started trying to slowly distance myself, but before I could get very far, there was a family emergency back home. In my panic, James had been great. He had my flights booked, hell he even helped pay for the quickest way back home, even though it was the most expensive. He helped me pack and got me to the airport. He was so supportive, and even now, after everything, I can't help but be grateful for that small amount of time."

Seth looked at me knowingly. He knew as did Alec, what the family emergency was. I quickly made to continue before anyone could ask any questions.

"Anyway, I wasn't in the best head space when I got back, I don't even remember much. After a week or two of purely existing, James suggested a party. I know what you think, especially given what I've just told you, but even Mike and Jess were for it. So the three of them, for the first time ever, worked together and made me go to the party."

The fact was at that time, it probably wouldn't have taken much to get me to go. If you'd have told me to jump off of a bridge, I probably would have. I, by all accounts was pretty vacant at that time in my life. People would talk to me, but I would look straight through them, not even realizing they were there.

"I didn't enjoy myself, hell I don't even remember the party itself. I just remember starting to drink. And as it goes, one drink turned to two, and two turned to three, until bam, I was in sweet oblivion." A lone tear streaked down my cheek. "The next day I couldn't remember a thing. For the first time in a while, I hadn't felt a thing. I was numb to everything. I revelled in that feeling, and pretty much, I was going out every night."

More than half of those nights I couldn't tell you about. All I knew was, who I had gone out with, and where I woke up in the morning. Thankfully Jess and Mike were more than loyal friends, and even when they should have been studying or having lives of their own, they never left me.

"You think that you drank a lot last night. That's nothing to what I drank every night. I went from drunk to hungover straight back to drunk again. My grades dropped, I skipped classes. I was a mess." I felt fidgety knowing I was coming up to the most shameful part. "James of course thought his new fun loving girlfriend was great, and I... I was too drunk most of the time to care."

I had to get up, I had to walk, I had to do something. I felt like a spring being pushed together just waiting for someone to relieve the pressure. Before I could get out of my seat though, Rose reached for my hand, so I stayed put.

"I wasn't an alcoholic or anything. Please don't think that I was. If you'd have asked me at any point to give up alcohol, I promise you I could have. Even when I eventually stopped, I never went through withdrawals. I was just... I just revelled in the numbness it created for me. But there is only so much numbness a person can take. Somehow Mike and Jess managed to get through to me, and made me see exactly what I was doing, which in turn made me see that James wasn't helping me any longer. I still didn't want to see that he was a bad person, just that his way was not helping me any more. So I started again distancing myself from him."

This was much harder than I imagined, and even then I knew it would be hard. I was more scared that in the space of a few minutes, the room would be full of people who disliked me as much as I did myself for allowing what I had.

"I was doing ok too, but James, it just seemed the more I pulled away, the more tighter he held on, bordering maybe on clingy, something he never had been before. But there were days where he left me alone and I kind of figured it would only be a matter of time before we eventually went our own separate ways. Anyway this one night, he came over, and wanted to go to this party. I told him I didn't want to, but James being James made me feel guilty for the lack of time we had spent together recently..."

**Flashback**

"James, I have so much school work piling up. I _need _to get caught back up, otherwise I'll be thrown out." I argued with him.

"Oh please Isa, it's not like one night will make that much of a difference." He sounded exasperated with me.

I hated that he called me Isa, and he knew it too. It had never stopped him though. When we first met, he called me Isa straight away, and each time he did, I corrected him. Doesn't take a genius to figure out who got tired of that game first.

After another twenty minutes of James insisting that I attend the party, I finally gave in. Of course that was nothing but the norm. James never gave in. He never stopped until he got what he wanted. That was usually something I admired in a person, but James took it to another level..it was never ending with him.

I searched through my almost empty closet, looking for something decent to wear. Most of them were in the hamper. Laundry hadn't been at the top of my priority list of late. It would have to be now though, since I was close to running out of clean clothes, let alone decent ones. Most of what was left in my closet were sweats.

Putting effort into my appearance wasn't something I was overly worried about right now, but still, dressing in any old thing would be like a red rag to a bull with James, so I quickly chose my favourite jeans, a plain white camisole with just a hooded jacket to keep the evening chill at bay. James was clearly in agreement with my chosen outfit. Well until I reached for my chucks. His patience was clearly wearing thin when he snatched them out of my hands and threw them across the room, muttering something I couldn't comprehend under his breath, before tossing me a pair of tan wedge sandals.

There was something off about him today. He seemed in such a rush to get to the party, practically shoving me through the door in his haste. I couldn't figure out, why, if he was in such a rush, why did he feel the need to make me come along. Clearly there was something or someone there waiting for him.

He drove us further off campus than we'd ever been for a party. We had always kept pretty local so that getting back home wasn't an issue, and neither was picking the car up the following day. I began wondering if this was why he wanted me to come. So I'd be the designated driver. It was plausible, though he had never allowed me to drive his car before.

I began wondering whose party it was exactly. I didn't know anyone who lived this far off campus, and certainly didn't know anyone who lived in such a questionable neighbourhood. My unease only heightened when we passed a burnt out car on the curbside. It was something out of a bad movie.

"James, whose party is this?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

"A friends." Was his vague response.

I had never had cause to question his judgement before, but I certainly was now. I didn't like the area we were in. Never one to be judgemental, but I was pretty sure the people who lived in this kind of area, probably weren't the kind of people I wanted to spend my evening with.

Finally he pulled up in a driveway that was already overspilling with cars, and none looked exactly road worthy. I'm sure if the Police drove by, they'd impound ninety per cent of them for being unsafe.

Without a word, James climbed from the car, and waited impatiently for me to get out. He was being so cold toward me, it made me wonder even more why the hell he had brought me, when he clearly didn't want me to be around. We walked into the house, that I swear, like the cars in the driveway, looked derelict. James turned to look at me, his expression was just short of a glare.

"Don't get into trouble. I'll come find you when I'm ready to leave." And with that he disappeared into the crowd of bodies.

I already felt uncomfortable being here, but now James had just deserted me like he had, I felt even worse. I didn't recognise a single person in the room, the men looked older than your average college student, and the girls, well they probably were younger than the average college student. All seemingly dressed in much skimpier items of clothing, if that's what you could call them, than I.

I moved a little closer into the room, craning my neck in an attempt to see over the bodies, and try to recognise at least one person. It was all in vain. There wasn't one single friendly face around.

I tripped and stumbled my way through the sweaty bodies and made my way to where I presumed the kitchen would be, hoping to find a quiet area. I wanted to leave, but I couldn't without James. Even if I had any cash on me for a cab, I didn't know the address to call for one.

The kitchen it turned out was heaving with bodies, just as much as any other room in the house. Just as I was leaving the room, a fight broke out between two guys who had been playing poker. Seeing the viciousness of their attacks and the lack of bodies going to stop it, cemented the fact I had to leave, with or without James.

"Hey... hey, excuse me." I tapped the nearest, most friendly looking person I could see on the shoulder.

"Hey darlin' what can I do for you?" He had a slight southern twang to his voice, and his smile seemed genuine.

"Well I'm trying to book a cab for me and my boyfriend later, but I don't know what street this is, you wouldn't happen to know would you?" I asked as sweetly as I could manage, flashing him a big smile.

The guy was as genuine as he seemed and gave me the full address, even offering me the number of a local cheap cab company. I thanked him and moved on speedily. He may have been genuine, but I didn't want to engage in further conversation than absolutely necessary. Next I just had to find James and tell him I was leaving, which I knew without a doubt would not go down well at all.

The house was hot and stuffy, beads of sweat were beginning to trickle from my neck down between my shoulder blades, but I was sure my growing anxiety wasn't helping.

I pushed my way through bodies, trying to at least get a glimpse of James, but there was nothing. I began thinking he had left without me. But then we hadn't even been here half an hour. I was beginning to lose hope when I saw someone exit through a door on the far wall. I knew it was probably private, but if there was any chance James was in there, I had to at least try.

I text both Jess and Mike, telling them where I was and begging them to come and get me. Regardless of whether I found James in that room, or even if I did and he disagreed with my decision, I was leaving. And at least having a ride sorted, cemented that.

I stepped cautiously through the door, finding a much quieter room. It looked like a den of some sort. A couple of brown leather recliners and a matching leather sofa sat around a glass coffee table. On the far side of the room was a small bar with stools sat around it. There were at first glance maybe nine or ten guys, each with at east one scantily clad girl perched on their laps, most with two.

To my horror in the corner by the bar, a man was balancing on the edge of one of the stools, whilst a blonde was giving him a blow job. If that wasn't enough, one of the men in the recliner was having sex with the brunette who was straddling him. I was beyond shocked.

I'm not a stranger to sex, and most certainly not a prude, but the idea of taking part in sexual acts in a room occupied by others, was not something that entertained me, not one little bit.

"I'm s... sorry. I was... looking for the... bathroom." I stuttered, as I began backing out of the room.

"You sure you don't wanna join in sweetheart?" The guy closest to me on the sofa asked.

It was then I noticed the coffee table was covered in a white powder, and he was pulling it into lines with what looked to be a credit card. Now I am nowhere near naïve enough to not know what it was.

"Nah Dan, she's not kinky enough for you, are you Isa?"

And there was James. He was sat on the far side of the sofa, and had been partially blocked from my view by a red head with an abundance of tight curls. He stood, pulling his zipper up. God I felt sick. He had been either moments from, or moments after partaking in some sexual favour, with the red head. He took a step closer, eyeing me with a raised brow, almost daring me to cause a scene. He was right, I wouldn't cause one, I had more dignity than that.

"Bit of a plain Jane aren't you Isa?" He sneered.

"I'm... I'm leaving." I stuttered, stepping again toward the door.

"Stay Isa, let your hair down, have some fun. Don't be so uptight."

The red head beside him scoffed, and turned to look at me. Victoria! We had never been particularly close, but the betrayal still stung. I had shared a room with her for a year and a half, she was meant to be a friend.

"Yeah honey, come have a line, it'll loosen you up good." His double entrendre was clear.

"No... no thank you." I declined as politely as I could.

I managed to get all the way to the door, my hand grasping the door knob tightly.

"Whoa, whoa wait a minute Isa. I think you should. You've been too uptight for my liking recently."

James had never scared me before, but he certainly was doing so now.

"And besides, how can we trust that you won't go rushing out of here and call Deputy Daddy, and tell him all about this."

I knew the moment he had mentioned 'Deputy Daddy', my fate had been sealed. It wouldn't matter that my Dad was thousands of miles away, or the fact James knew I would never tell him. All anyone heard in that room, was that I was related to a cop, and I could cause a whole world of trouble for them. Hell they were drunk and high, they probably even thought I could be undercover.

"So I think you need to join us. If you use, you're one of us, and Deputy Daddy would be so ashamed." I hadn't noticed how close James was getting.

"My Dad is thousands of miles away James! Even if I were to tell him, what evidence do I have?"

"We know how Cops work Isa. They don't need shit to frame us." He was mere steps away from me now. "And who will they believe more, us or some Cops kid!"

I was stumped as to what to say to him. I knew anything I said he wouldn't listen to. I just really needed to get out of this room, and far away from him. Keeping my eyes fixed firmly on him, I took another tentative step toward the door. I was so close, but I had never felt further away from anything in my whole life.

"No I think..." He lifted his hand, showing me a clump of the powder that was caught between his thumb and index finger.

Sheer and utter panic rose in me. I knew what he was planning to do, I could tell what was on his mind. I felt my stomach roll, just in thought. My mind raced, wondering if Jess and Mike could get here in time to save me. Wondering what had happened to the James I had started dating. My mind couldn't form a coherent thought, it was zipping from one thing to the next.

"James, please, no." I begged, holding my arm up in an attempt to push him away.

"Oh Isa!" He knocked my arm out of the way with his free hand, pushing his hand flat against my chest and forcing me hard into the wall behind me. "As nice as it is to hear you beg..."

He didn't wait another second before thrusting his fingers into my nostrils, forcing me to inhale the powder. I thrashed against him, putting all my force into his shove and hit, but I was no match for him.

"Enjoy Isa." He hissed, leaning forward and kissing me firmly before laughing as he walked away.

I had never been so repulsed by someone in my life. I wanted to scream and shout at him, to physically harm him, but my instinct of flight took over, and I made a run for the exit while I still could. I barrelled through the house, aware I needed to get help before the drug could really kick in.

I knew little about cocaine and what its affects were, but I knew I needed help. I didn't know exactly how long I had before it kicked in, but I guessed it wouldn't be long.

With shaking hands, I dialled Jess' number again, tears pouring down my cheeks as I took shaky breath after shaky breath, trying my hardest to ward off my panic. It was impossible though. She answered immediately, and I managed to sob out a coherent enough sentence to make her understand what had happened. I barely heard her when she told me they were close by.

I sat on the curb side waiting, rocking myself back and forth, slowly beginning to feel the affects of the coke in my system, or rather what I assumed were the affects. My heart was racing, and my breathing just wasn't slowing any. Small black spots were starting to enter my vision, and an overall feeling of dizziness mixed with an out of body experience took over.

**End Flashback**

Tears were pouring down my cheeks in shame. I couldn't look at anyone around the room, I had heard breathing hitch once or twice throughout my story, but I couldn't bring myself to find out whether they were shocked or repulsed. I couldn't blame them for being repulsed by me, I was, whenever I thought back to that night.

Why hadn't I fought him more? Why had I gone into that room? Why hadn't I left immediately? Why, why, why! That's all that ever crossed my mind, along with the what ifs. My ever meeting James would be something I would regret for the rest of my life.

"So that's what set you off last night, when he pinched his nose?" Edward asked.

I hadn't realized he had seen that. But he was right. Seeing James pinch his nose like that, had brought everything flooding back. He knew what doing that would do to me. I was now convinced more than ever that he had been playing me from minute one, wanting to get a rise out of me. And I was the fool who bit to the bait.

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of glass shattering. My head whipped up to see Seth stood, staring at me, his eyes black with rage. He was practically shaking, anger was rolling off of him in waves.

"Bella, do you mean to tell me, that... that... I don't even have a word for him. Forced you to snort cocaine, and he _isn't_ rotting in jail right now"? I cowered away from him.

I had never felt more scared of Seth. He had never had much of a temper on him, not like Jacob or even my Dad, but he was certainly giving them a run for their money now.

"Seth, you need to calm the hell down." Alec warned him, his voice stern.

"No Alec, I won't calm the hell down." Seth bit back. "That psycho is running around loose, and you want me to calm the hell down."

"Alice... Rose." Edward said softly.

I looked up in time to see him gesturing with his head toward the bedrooms. Rose grasped my hand and began getting up. For whatever reason Edward wanted us out of the way, I was glad. Seth was seriously scaring the hell out of me.

"That's what Charlie doesn't know isn't it? He doesn't know about the drugs!" Seth's voice was eerily quiet, like the cam before the storm. I nodded mutely. "Jesus Christ Bella. Why the fucking hell not?" His voice was now even more angry, even more louder.

Something inside me snapped. He was talking to me like everything was my fault. Yes I take blame for some of the events, if not most of them, but he wasn't there. He had no right to act like he would have done any better. He had no right to blame me. I had only told him out of courtesy due to the fact he had been involved last night.

"Because I was ashamed Seth. I was ashamed, and I was scared." I stood screaming back at him, tears pouring from my eyes. "After all those self defence classes my Dad made me take, and not one of them helped. Because despite many warnings about him, I carried on being friends with him, dating him. Because I knew my Dad would try to kill him, and I can't... I can't lose him too."

I felt Emmett pull me into him, hugging me fiercely, protecting me from everything. His grip on me never loosened. He whispered soothing words to me as he pulled Rose into our little embrace. I could feel her stroking my back, pushing my hair behind my ears.

I don't know how long we stood like that before I pulled away slightly, feeling the need to apologize. Apologize for my outbreak, for involving them, for not telling them sooner, and for burdening them with my troubles.

"Bella, what on earth are you sorry for?" Edward asked,

Emmett gestured for us to sit back down, where I he crushed me between he and Rose. I pulled my knees up to my chest. It was one of defence mechanisms, had been since I was a kid. Whenever I was on the receiving end of one of Dad's lectures, or felt unsure about something, I would hug my knees tightly to my chest.

"Everything." I mumbled. "If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't have met James. Now I've just complicated your lives."

"Bull." Alice suddenly stated. "Our lives could do with a little excitement." She beamed a smile at me.

"You don't know what you're saying Alice." I grimaced at the images that flitted into my mind. "What James is capable of, isn't excitement."

"Bella, what happened after that night?" Edward asked, probing gently.

"Um, Mike and Jess showed up just as I was starting to lose consciousness. Apparently since I was having a panic attack, and with the coke in my system, it complicated a lot of things. They took me to the local hospital where I spent the night under observation. The Police were informed, which meant in turn the Dean was involved. She was really nice though, but since it was pretty much my word against James', we were both put on probation. Had to have regular surprise drug tests, and my grades had to show improvement by the end of the year."

"Why doesn't that sound like that was the end of it!" Jasper voiced his thoughts.

"Because it wasn't. I straightened out, even went to counselling as per the Dean's insistence, but James, well he was never far away. At first he 'accidentally' turned up places I was, always public, each time I reported it to the Dean. I think she was getting more and more suspicious, but it wasn't until one afternoon he cornered me in the library, told me he was going to make me pay, that he should have given me more coke then maybe I would have OD'ed. He just didn't know that one of the librarians were in the stacks and heard every word. She reported it to the Dean, and James was thrown out."

I remembered that moment when Mike had come rushing into the room I was now sharing with Jess, to tell us he had heard that James had been thrown out. I had never felt such relief, but fear all at once. I was scared he really would want revenge now, but relieved in hope that, that would be the end of it.

"I only saw him once after that, as he was putting his bags into his car. I guess he wanted to move fast, so that he cold evade the Police if the Dean decided to call. He warned me that it wasn't over, and that was it. I never saw him again until last night."

"What I don't get is why he wasn't arrested when that librarian overheard what he said?" Alec asked.

"Apparently, it still wasn't enough evidence. It was still word of mouth, since he could have just been saying that to scare me. His drug tests always came back clean, so I guess there wasn't much they could do."

"What happens now?" Edward asked curiously, the muscles in his jaw twitching.

"I have to call my Dad, tell him about last night, but I don't think there will be much I can do. Just I dunno, keep safe I guess."

"Jesus, I don't like this, not at all." Seth started pacing the room, his anger having never fully dissipated. "Bella, he clearly knows where you are. It's too much of a coincidence that he 'bumped' into you last night."

"Bella, call you're Dad, maybe he can give us some advice." Alec suggested.

I nodded and went in search for my purse. Edward told me it was in the bedroom on top of the chest of drawers. I retrieved it and headed back. I pulled my phone out, leaving the purse on the kitchen counter. I began pacing a little as I turned my phone back on. There was one missed call from Angela, and one message. I opened it, wondering who it was. I froze in fear and shock.

_Revenge is sweet, just like you ass last night in that fuck hot dress. I'll be seeing you soon x _

**Dun dun duhhhh! Hope you liked it. It didn't come out quite as I wanted it to, but it's near enough what I wanted. Please review and let me know what you think :D**


	9. To make you feel my love

Disclaimer : I don't own anything except the plot, so please don't steal it without asking :D

_**A/N **: Big massive huge apologies for the lack of updates recently, I am trying my hardest to stick to one a week, but things have been pretty hectic, but, hopefully things are getting back on track **:D**_

_Ok, so huge thanks again goes to my fabulous reviewers - __**Eeyore16**__, __**Linz832**__, __**VelvetWhispers**__, __**Bandeforever16**__ and __**Motherduckatschool**__ x4 - You guys are beyond amazing, and I can't honestly thank you enough _:D :D :D :D

Chapter 9

_I know you haven't made your mind up yet  
I would never do you wrong  
I've known it from the moment that we met  
There's no doubt in my mind where you belong  
I'd go hungry, I'd go black and blue  
I'd go crawling down the avenue  
There ain't nothing that I wouldn't do  
To make you feel my love_

_Kelly Clarkson - To make you feel my love_

I honestly thought all my dreams had come true at once when Bella had woken me up and told me to get into bed. It took me a few seconds for my mind to clear of the fog that sleep had left, but when it did I saw she was deadly serious, though jokingly telling me to keep my hands to myself. If only it was that easy. I knew it would take a huge effort on my part to comply to her request.

When I had finally climbed into bed with her, she cuddled straight up to me, as though we were a couple who went to bed together every night. There was just something so natural about us being together like this. Tanya had never been a cuddler in bed hell she wasn't a cuddler out of bed, and it had never bothered me before, but I couldn't imagine not holding Bella, in or out of the bed. My want for her had never waned, and I doubted it ever would.

I couldn't help the small amount of anger flare up when she asked me where we were. Granted I had known she was passed out drunk before we got home, but it made me worried about whether or not this was a usual occurrence for her. I wasn't angry at her per say, more her carelessness. I soon shot myself down though when I figured she had let herself go more than usual considering she was with us, and it would be the last time she was able to drink for a while. I forced a laugh as I told her where we were, though I don't think she honestly cared that much at this point. I could have told her we were in the middle of a war zone, and I don't think it would have registered with her.

I had settled further down into the pillows, kissing her forehead goodnight, wishing I could have been kissing her rosy lips instead. She almost immediately fell back to sleep, leaving me to admire her gentle beauty. There was such beauty about her peacefulness. Her lips pouted slightly, her long eyelashes caressed her high cheekbones, her ivory skin so flawless. She was beautiful awake, but my God, she was even more so asleep, if that was at all possible.

I didn't sleep well that night, scared that every time I closed my eyes she would disappear and I would wake up alone. I slept for no more than an hour at a time, always waking up, immediately checking Bella was still in my arms. I wasn't disappointed once. If anything she seemed to have curled into my further, her leg hitched up on my thigh, gloriously close to my morning wood.

I gave up on sleeping further about eight am, choosing just to lay with her peacefully. I laid there imagining what it would be like to wake up every morning with her. My mind ran riot, images of us doing all the mundane things couples usually did together. But with Bella, nothing seemed to be that way. I was even stupidly excited at the idea of standing side by side at the bathroom counter brushing our teeth first thing in the morning and last thing at night. Admittedly, the idea that it would mean we had woken together and were going to sleep together may have added appeal to such a monotonous task, but I didn't care.

It wasn't until nearly nine am that Bella started to show signs of waking up. She squirmed a little beside me, and her breathing picked up. I prepared myself for her waking up in a slight panic at where she was. I wasn't convinced she would remember asking me to get into bed with her earlier on this morning. She didn't wake though. Her eyelids fluttered, her breathing remaining irregular, but she let out a sigh filled with contentment. She was dreaming.

"... more." Her voice startled me. It was a mixture between a hum and a moan.

I couldn't help the cheesy grin that appeared on my face. There was only one kind of dream that I could think of that would cause anyone to moan out for more. Bella was having an 'R' rated dream. I had, had my fair share of those over the past month or so, all pretty much starring her.

"Edward."

My head snapped toward her face, thinking she had woken up to find me grinning like a crazed man. Her eyes were still closed however. I laid completely still, in wait for whatever she may say next, my mind racing. She was having a sex dream about... me. My morning wood was no longer wood. It was steel.

The honourable side of my brain decided I should try to disturb her. She was clearly a sleep talker, and laying here listening to her dream was invading her privacy. Besides I didn't want to listen to, or even think about her getting it on with dream me, when I wanted it in reality. I also didn't want her to continue the dream while laid beside me, only to wake up feeling awkward around me. That certainly wouldn't be a corner stone for a good relationship, friendship or otherwise.

I called her name a few times whilst nudging her gently, almost immediately seeing her getting closer to consciousness. She suddenly tore her eyes open, letting out a groan as she squeezed them shut immediately. I hadn't noticed the brightness of the room, having not slept deeply enough for the natural light to bother me as it got gradually brighter. When she moaned again I began doubting her dream. Had she been groaning due to the pain I knew she had to be feeling from the amount she had drunk the night before. I had to ask her, if she was ok. Her response was not exactly enthusiastic, but it was pretty much what I was expecting.

I however was not expecting her to suddenly dart from the bed and run toward what she thought was the bathroom. After redirecting her away from the closet, I followed her into the bathroom, holding her hair back and trying to help her relax by caressing her back. I had never done this for anyone before, not even my own Sister. The idea of watching someone toss their cookies had always grossed me out, but as with everything else, I wanted to do it for Bella. It didn't feel like a chore and she certainly didn't make me feel like she expected it, if anything she seemed as surprised as I was when I did things for her.

We shared a joke before I helped her get back into bed. She snuggled up next to me, cancelling any plans I may have had to go get her more pain relief and maybe a little breakfast. We spoke in whispers for a while until Bella fell silent. I stayed still for a few moments, expecting to find her having fallen back to sleep, but she was just simply day dreaming. I had to force myself not to laugh when she answered my question with her declaration of hating my Sister.

I knew immediately then, that Alice had made her famous cocktails last night, which of course would have made Bella's inebriation that much worse. I knew I, or someone else should have warned her before hand about how lethal Alice's cocktails were. She didn't have a set recipe to them, just mixing whatever juice and alcohol she had available. I had only ever had her cocktails on two occasions, both times they had been different, but both times I had felt even worse than usual in the morning.

We had laid there for a while, pillowing talking. I never wanted it to end. If anything I had found myself wishing it could be like this every day. Waking up with her, telling each other our plans for the day, or even making plans together. Pillow talk had never been something I had partaken in with Tanya. Because of her schedule, it was rare she ever had to be up early in the morning, so she never even woke when I did. If the alarm did ever wake her, without a word, she would turn over and go straight back to sleep. No morning kiss, or even a good morning, before I was on my way to work.

I should find it odd that this... whatever this was with Bella, was suddenly making everything I had ever felt was normal with Tanya feel so wrong now. But I couldn't bring myself to. Bella made me see things for what they had truly been.

I mean literally everything that Tanya and I had done as a couple seemed so off base. Thinking about it, there wasn't really anything we ever did that defined us as a couple. We shared the same bed, we had regular, if standardized sex. But we moved in different circles, both in our work lives and personal. We made appearances together, showing a united front, but united we had never been. In my defence though, it was not through lack of trying.

The soft vibrating followed by the ringing of my cell interrupted my thoughts. I pulled it out of my pocket seeing it was Emmett. I answered it immediately, praying there wasn't something wrong with Bella.

It had been a long week since we had all been sat in my living room as Bella told us the story of herself and James. I had felt murderous throughout most, but even more so when she told us that he had forced her to take drugs. Watching her reactions as she told us was heartbreaking. Whilst on some level I understood her shame, it wasn't something anyone would be proud to admit. But what I couldn't understand was her guilt. Why should she feel guilty over something that A. happened over a year ago, and B. she had no control over.

"Edward, dude, dinner tonight at Ma and Pops." Emmett told me before I had even said a word.

"Hello to you too big Brother." I teased.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi. So you'll be there right?" There was a slight panic to his voice.

"Sure, why what's happening?" This had to be good if it was causing Emmett to be so unhinged.

"Bella told her Dad the other night at dinner... about being our surrogate." He seemed to need to clarify what Bella had told her Dad, though it wasn't like I could forget.

"Ok..."

"And he wants to meet us." The panicky edge was back. "I swear dude, I haven't felt this nervous since I asked Rosie's Dad if I could marry her."

I couldn't help but laugh at the memory. We had all been there that day. Myself, Emmett, Jasper, my Dad and Rose and Jasper's Dad. At Emmett's request we had all gone out to a hockey game before grabbing a few beers afterwards. It had been Emmett's way of buttering his future Father in law up. I swear he was sweating buckets the closer and closer he got to asking. He downed more beer than he really should have and only just managed to stutter his way through his request. Thankfully Mr. Hale had known Emmett for some time and accepted his request with a loud laugh, finding Emmett's nervousness hilarious.

"Em it'll be fine. Bella's his Daughter, who by the way lives over an hours drive away, he's probably just wanting to make sure that she's going to be well looked after during this whole process. It's a big thing she's doing for you, any Dad would be the same."

"You're right, I'll call Pop's he's got a Daughter, he can prepare me." And with that, the phone went dead.

I laughed to myself as I rushed to my feet and down the hall to my Dad's office, knowing Em would be calling him straight away, and this was something I did not want to miss.

I knocked gently and walked straight in, planting myself in the black leather chair opposite his desk. He looked at me, waiting for me to tell him what it was I wanted. He opened his mouth to speak but I held my hand up and counted down the five seconds it took for his private line to ring. He looked suspicious, whilst I just smiled widely.

For twenty minutes I sat and listened as my Dad tried to reassure Emmett that everything would be fine, more than once reiterating points he had made at the beginning of their conversation. The whole time I was fighting my laughter. Emmett was behaving _worse_ than the time he asked Rose's Dad permission to marry her. I only felt a slight guilt though when I realized there was more at stake this time. At least with before he and Rose could have still married, they just wouldn't have had her Father's approval. But this time, I guess Bella's Dad could pull the plug on the whole thing for them. Though I liked to think Bella wouldn't allow that.

"So Edward, was there a particular reason for your sudden visit?" My Dad asked when he finally put the phone down with Emmett.

"No, no, I was just wanting to shoot the shit with you!" I replied.

"Bull. You wanting to hear your Brother squirm." My Dad accused, though there was a small smile playing on his lips, that he was trying hard to conceal.

"Can you blame me, after all the times he's done the same?"

"So devious Edward, just like your Mom." He laughed. "And don't tell her I said that!"

We spoke a little longer before I returned to my office. I had very little work to do, so I cut out earlier than usual to go home to shower and change. The suspicious look on my Dad's face when I told him of my plans hadn't gone unnoticed, especially considering I never usually cared and went straight to my Parents from work, regardless of my attire.

I wasn't surprised at all that my Dad was starting to cotton on to my feelings about Bella. Besides Alice, my Dad was probably the most intuitive person in our family, He knew his family well, and could read us all better than anyone else ever could. Unlike with the rest of the family however, my Dad kept his observations to himself. I also knew at some point in the very near future I would be seeking out his advice.

Over the past week, Bella had barely left my mind. Ok so she had been on my mind for the past nearly two months, but this week had been even worse. I had found myself wanting to call Emmett and Rose more regularly than even the closest family ever should, just to check in to make sure Bella was ok. I thankfully managed to text Emmett only a few times a day just 'double checking' James hadn't been in touch. Emmett thankfully hadn't thought too much of my new found interest in Bella. He'd actually taken to updating me whenever either he or Rose had spoken to her.

Not only was I practically harassing my Brother and his Wife, but I had taken to driving past Bella's apartment on my way to and from work. I don't know what I expected to find, but it did ease my worry some. I wished upon wish that I had thought to insist that she take everyone's cell numbers just incase. Hell it had even been a job to get her to allow one of us to take her home and check out her place for any evidence he had been near.

I'm sure she thought we were all being too protective of her, but after all she had told us, followed by that text message she received I knew that it was all more than a coincidence that he had 'bumped' into her at Joe's. If I was honest I was scared of what he might do. I mean the guy was clearly unstable, and definitely out for revenge. There was only Bella that knew him, and I don't think even she knew where he would stop.

My thoughts continued in much the same fashion, right up until I walked into my Parents. Alice and Jasper were already there, and Emmett had text and said that he and Rose shouldn't be too long. My Mom was rushing around in the kitchen, trying to perfect the dish she had made, before dashing into the dining room adjusting the place setting and cutlery that she had only minutes adjusted for what I could imagine was the tenth time.

As if that wasn't enough, Alice trailed after her re-adjusting everything in my Mom's wake, whilst harping on about the seating plan of the wedding that was now only two months away. This flustered my Mom more, as there was nothing worse for her, than to see any of her children in distress. Whether it be over something as benign as to where to sit Aunt Jermima whom we hadn't seen since we were small children, and whom I could have sworn under oath had died a good few years ago. Or whether it be something momentous as a cheating partner, or a menacing illness.

Seeing my Mom become close to absolutely loosing it, I quickly disappeared into the den to collect my Dad. He was the only one who stood a chance of getting my Mom to calm down and Alice to back off.

"Is Alice going on about damn Aunt Jermima again?" Jasper sighed.

"Didn't she die?" My Dad asked as he got up to relieve the situation.

A few moments later, Alice stormed into the room, sitting down in the chair beside Jasper, allowing a heavy sigh, folding her arms across her chest like a petulant child. Both myself and Jasper glanced toward each other, brows raised, trying to hold back our laughter.

I was just about to open my mouth with a teasing comment, when I heard Emmett and Rosalie walk in. Well technically we heard Emmett, but it was pretty obvious Rosalie was with him. The couple walked into the room, both noticing the scowl on Alice's face. Rose looked at me questioningly before I managed to shake my head, silently telling her not to ask.

"So why do we all need to be here again?" Alice asked, her mood shifting speedily. "Not that I mind seeing Bella again, but surely parents meeting parents, you don't need us."

"Emmett's nervous because Bella's Dad's a cop." Rose answered.

"Baby..." Emmett whined. "You've got looks on your side, what the hell do I have to win him over?"

"That is true Rose." Jasper joked.

"The guy is a cop, he's bound to carry his gun." I teased.

Emmett's face paled further. I could tell her was genuinely worried about this whole meeting Bella's Dad. I however wasn't ready to finish my teasing. This was pure revenge for all the times he had teased me beyond belief.

"Em, I just want to say, it was great knowing you Bro, and I love you!" I said as sincerely as I could manage.

Emmett immediately darted from his seat, muttering something under his breath about Halloween and bulletproof vests. I knew what he was referring to. A few years ago we had attended this elaborate costume party, and Emmett had wanted to go dressed as a member of the S.W.A.T, and had gone all out even purchasing a second hand vest.

When the laughter subsided, Rose explained that he was genuinely worried that Bella's Dad would turn her against them, that and the fact he thought the more people in the room, the less likely the Chief was to shoot him. From then on, it became a silent agreement not to tease him further. This was important to him, and as fun as it might be to wind him up further, the teasing could wait until later.

The no teasing rule didn't last long when Emmett came back into the room, looking bulkier than ever, thanks to having put on the bulletproof vest of under his sweater. He looked ridiculous.

"Right ok dinner is..." My Mom was shocked into silence when she entered the room and saw Emmett.

"Emmett what on Earth are you wearing?" My Dad asked, as he came to an abrupt halt right behind my Mom.

Emmett quickly explained the situation, to which both of my parents told him to go upstairs and take it off immediately, and to stop being so absurd. Though even I could see the amusement in both of their eyes as they watched him go.

Emmett had just walked back into the room when the doorbell rang. Emmett froze in fear, even Rose visibly tensed, though quickly recovered. She grasped Emmett's hand and pulled him toward the door. The five of us remained straining to hear what was being said,though it was safe to say not a single gun shot was heard.

We all waited with baited breath for them to re-enter the room, and we didn't have to wait long. Bella walked in first, literally taking my breath away. She was dressed in black dress pants, and a faded royal blue shirt with a plain white cami underneath. Whilst some may deem the outfit simple, I deemed it perfect. It hugged her every curve, was smart without being too dressy, and casual without giving the impression she had simply thrown it on.

Her outfit was the least of my problems though. Just her presence alone made me want to stride over to her, wrap my arms around her and never let go. I wanted to declare to both my family and hers that she was mine, that I needed her in my life badly. And what made it worse, was the fact she fit so clearly with my family. Both my parents greeted her with a hug and kiss to the cheek, followed quickly after by Alice and Jasper.

All my dreams came true when she stepped closer to me, giving me a brief hug which I returned with gusto, managing a sly kiss on her cheek, though admittedly, it was far closer to her mouth than any of my families kisses. I held her a fraction longer than just friends would, but hey shoot me, I was going to get what I could when I could.

"Everything ok?" I whispered in her ear before I let her go.

"Yes, thank you." She answered, giving me a soft squeeze before backing away.

I wanted to ask her more questions. I wanted to practically grill her about the week we had been apart. She had told us she was going to tell her Dad about seeing James, and I desperately wanted to know how it had gone, what advice he had given her, and what our next step was from here. I also wanted to make sure she was keeping herself safe, whether she had spotted James lurking anywhere.

I had been that caught up in my thoughts of Bella, I noticed the entrance of the gentleman I presumed was Bella's Dad, and a woman of similar age to my parents and Bella's Dad and their introductions to the rest of my family.

"Dad, Sue, this is Edward, Emmett's younger Brother. Edward this is my Dad, Charlie and his girlfriend Sue." Bella courteously introduced us.

Charlie was maybe an inch or two taller than myself, but his stance may have contributed to that. He held himself with such refinement, much like an army sergeant, he had a terseness about him, almost as though he was seconds away from jumping into cop mode. I probably would have been as scared as Emmett, had I not seen the kindness in his eyes when he looked at Bella. He looked at her like she was his whole world and then some.

It was impossible not to see the similarities between Father and Daughter. Bella clearly got her dark wavy hair and deep brown eyes from her Dad. She seemed to have his shape nose, albeit slightly thinner. And strangely enough, they both seemed to have the same worn look to their faces, as though they had plenty of troubles in their lives. Since Bella never seemed to mention her Mother, I began to wonder if that was where the weary look they both shared came from.

Beside them stood a familiar face. Sue Clearwater. Seth's Mom. I had met her a few times throughout my years of friendship with Seth. Though admittedly it was always when she came to Seattle. She too had, had her share of troubles. Loosing Seth and Leah's Father, Harry when both of them were much younger, she had, had to raise them alone. Something I can't imagine was particularly easy, especially Seth. She had a motherly warmth about her though. Leaning a little on the round side, though far from overweight, she had a deep russet coloured skin, that her equally dark hair set off. Seth was very much like his Mom. In some ways it was quite literally like looking at an older, female version of him.

After the initial introductions were over, we all sat back into different seats around the room. An awkward silence fell like a heavy mist over the room. Bella looked uncomfortable, much like Charlie, whilst everyone else looked unsure of what the actual etiquette for an evening such as this, was required.

"So ah, Bella tells me you folks are moving to Forks." Charlie was the first to break the ice.

"Yes." Esme declared loudly, a little too enthusiastically. "Well we're not technically moving there, it's a vacation home of sorts. Somewhere we can get away to at the last minute, where we aren't forced to breath in this city smog."

"You definitely won't find city smog in Forks, that's for sure." Charlie agreed. "Don't know what Bella sees in it, certainly not like me or..."

"Dad!" Bella broke in.

Her voice was the kind of whining tone, a playful warning not to go there. I saw her shake her head slightly, and I got the feeling there was much more to the warning that she wanted us to know.

The silence fell back over us. I felt more like a spectator, watching than anything. Though I had the strong urge to talk incessantly just to fill the void that was taking over the room. It was like watching a bad scene in a movie where you squirmed in your seat at the annoyingly comfort-less display you were being subjected to.

"So Bella mentioned you were the Chief of Police." My Dad put forth the effort to converse.

"Yeah, going on nearly thirty years now."

Ah yet another false start to a conversation. It was actually beginning to feel distressing now. I shot a look to Alice and Jasper, begging them to try and come up with something to help save us. Thankfully Alice's eyes lit up and I immediately relaxed.

"Oh Mom, I don't know if anyone mentioned it, but Sue is Seth's Mom. Isn't it a small world?"

My Sister was officially a genius. If it was one thing Mom's did well, was to talk about their children. Thus a long drawn out conversation between Sue and my Mom broke us out of the discomfort zone. Neither of them seemed to care too much about the atmosphere around them, but with their constantly talking, it filled the silence of the room, helping to create a more relaxed atmosphere, which in turn helped Emmett to start a conversation with Charlie about sports.

Conversation was still going strong by the time we moved into the dining room for dinner. I thankfully managed to manoeuvre myself so that I squeezed into the seat beside Bella, just before Alice did. She scowled at me, before taking the seat opposite her instead. Once everyone started eating, things did quieten, but thankfully nothing quite as bad as earlier. I personally thought that now the ice had been broken, we hopefully wouldn't have the awkward silences any more.

"So Alice, Seth tells me you're getting married soon." Sue just had to go there.

"Yeah a little under two months now." Alice beamed.

"Oh the crucial planning stage." Please no.

"Yes, I think so. I'm currently trying to get my seating plan sorted, but not having much luck right now." Alice replied pointedly.

"Ah yes, there is always a few members of family you don't know where to seat, right." Oh Sue clearly didn't realize she was on such thin ice. "Are you having a big wedding?"

"Yes, we always wanted a big wedding. In fact you should both come."

"Oh no Alice, I'm sure you have more than enough guests without adding us to them." Sue tried politely to decline.

"No Sue it's fine, I would really like you to come."

"Yeah, you can have Aunt Jermima's seat." I added. "Since she's _dead_ and all."

I heard my Dad choke on the sip of wine, Jasper thrust his hand over his mouth to stop any laughter and my Mom just looked, slightly amused. Everyone else however looked shocked at my comment.

"Aunt Jermima isn't dead Edward." Alice bit back.

"Yeah wasn't she the one that had the affair with that German guy, and ended up running away to Spain with him, leaving his Canadian wife with thousands of dollars of debt and pregnant?" Geez Emmett sure knew how to paint our family well.

"No! That was Aunt Jenny... and she isn't coming." Alice argued.

"Which one was Aunt Jermima then?" Emmett asked.

Thankfully all these Aunt's were not close relatives. My Grandfather Cullen was the youngest of ten, so as you can imagine the extended family was rather large. We had very little to do with most, so I was struggling to understand the need Alice felt for inviting them all.

"She's the one that lives in Minnesota. The one whose husband was an alcoholic, whose son is constantly in and out of rehab for drug and alcohol addiction."

"Wow, sounds just like someone you want at a wedding." Jasper muttered, causing laughter around the table.

"Alice, that was Aunt Georgia. Aunt Jermima was the one who was mentally unstable and is dead honey. In fact I do believe both are dead sweetie." My Dad told her.

"Ah you see, that's freed up two seats for Charlie and Sue here." Emmett announced loudly.

I couldn't help the guffaw from erupting from me. We had just painted such a pleasant picture of our extended family to our guests. I'm sure if Charlie was against Bella being surrogate before, he certainly would be now. I was half expecting Charlie to try for an escape, wanting to leave this madhouse now, either that or have us committed too.

One look at him though, both he and Sue were practically in hysterics. He was trying and failing at hiding his laughter behind his hand, as was Sue, but her tell tale shaking shoulders gave her away some.

"I'm sorry, you must think our family are just a bunch of crazies, but I can assure you, they aren't immediate family, nor even close family." My Mom tried to smooth over the ice.

"Oh don't worry. My late Husband was one of many, and I have to say, most of his family are quite eccentric." Sue replied.

"Explains why Seth is such a drama Queen then huh." Bella bit in.

The rest of dinner went without a hiccup, though Alice was still rather annoyed at how confused she had become with all the extended members of our family. It was rare she was so wrong, but honestly, I think we all knew she was only wrong because of how much pressure she was putting on herself for this wedding to be perfect.

It was after dinner when the real reason for this evening became known. Myself, Jasper and Alice all tried to remain out of the main conversation, but it was hard to distance ourselves when we were sat in the same room.

Charlie, to give him his due, was not at all intimidating or even showing he was against all of this. He simply asked a few questions about Emmett and Rosalie's plans, before moving onto the subject of Bella. It was clear he was more concerned by his Daughters well being than anything else, and who could blame him.

He did confirm my suspicions however when he stated that Bella was all he had left. My assumptions that it had something to do with Bella's Mom were beginning to ring true. I couldn't figure out whether it had been a traumatic event, or whether she had just decided not to be apart of their lives one day, or maybe they had just had a big family argument, of which they had never recovered from. Whatever it was, I was desperate to know more. I felt sure if I knew, it would be one step closer to putting the jigsaw, also known as Bella, together.

That conversation lead onto what Bella was like as a child. I was suddenly all ears, eager for any new information I could gather on her. As both Seth and Bella had stated the morning after our night out, Bella was a little bit of a live wire according to Charlie. Apparently she had been the master of sneaking out of the house to head off to parties with friends. Always up to something she shouldn't be. He admitted it was purely mischief, but at the time, felt she was the sole reason for his now numerous grey hairs.

It was apparent though how proud of her he was. When he spoke about her heading to Phoenix, and his dislike of the idea, he was practically beaming at how independent and brave she had been. And now he was even more proud of what she was doing for our family, even though he openly admitted he had his reservations, but all were purely regarding her safety and health, not the actual act.

After the conversation dwindled down, and plans were made by the parents to meet up when my Parents headed to Forks, Charlie and Sue left, headed back home. Bella had taken us up on our offer to make sure she got home, so that Charlie and Sue wouldn't have to drive across town only to have to come back on themselves to get home.

I, an hour later had the pleasure of driving her home. It was the opportunity I had been dying for. The opportunity to have time alone with Bella. Of course I had no idea how to fill this time, but just having her sat next to me in my car, was fulfilling enough for me.

"So you've not heard from or seen James all week then?" I asked, finally breaking the silence.

"I've had a few text messages that I presume are from him, but I haven't seen him." She admitted.

I felt a rage building up in me. He was texting her. He had somehow managed to get her cell number. Even I didn't have her cell number. In my eyes this was turning serious. He was harassing her.

"Have you told your Dad?"

"Um, yeah. He told me I have to save every message. He's good friends with one of the Chiefs here in Seattle, so we went to meet him. For now there isn't much I can do, but just be vigilant. You know like not going quiet places alone, making sure someone knows where I'm going and stuff. He hasn't directly threatened me, and there's no proof that the messages are from him anyway."

Though I felt a small reprieve from my anger when she mentioned the Police were aware of the problem, I was still angered further when she said they couldn't do anything until he directly threatened her. Surely the text she received while she had been with us the morning after our night out had been enough of a threat. What exactly were they waiting for? If they were waiting for a direct threat, well that could be at any given moment, and generally it would be followed by a physical attack. By then it would be too late.

"Edward. It'll be fine, trust me." She seemed to sense my unease.

"I do trust you Bella, I just... I don't like it. I don't like that we have to wait for him to make a move before we can do anything for you." I admitted.

"He wants me to react, that's how it works with him. When he realizes I'm not going to, he'll get bored."

I wanted badly to correct her. Of course he wouldn't get bored, he'd most likely find more creative ways to get to her. But I wasn't about to admit that to her. I didn't want to freak her out... well not too much at this point. I know having spoken to Emmett numerous times over the past week, that he was going to be keeping a very close eye on the situation, and had promised me, albeit giving me suspicious looks, that the moment he was in doubt, he would get her away as quickly as possible.

In the small amount of time we had all known Bella, we all wanted to protect her. She was without a doubt part of our family now. She might know James, and be able to predict some of his actions, but that wasn't going to stop us from doing all we could to keep her safe.

"Thanks for the ride." She leant over and pecked my cheek, before starting to open her door.

"Bella! Wait!" The sharpness of my voice startled her as she flinched slightly, looking at me from wide eyes. "Sorry. I just, um I want you to have my number, you know just incase..."

"Oh right. Um sure."

She dug her small hand into her coat pocket and dug out an old phone. I vaguely remember Alice having one like it a few years ago. It certainly wasn't within the standards of keeping up with technology. Without bringing any attention to it, I quickly put my cell number in her phone, then called it, so that I would be able to save her number later.

"There." I told her, a big smile gracing my lips as I passed it her back. "If you ever need, well anything. Or you just want to talk, call me."

I hoped against hope that she would. Now I had her number, I knew it would be next to impossible for me to resist temptation by not calling or texting her. At least if she made the first move, then at least I wouldn't be over stepping my boundaries.

I got out and dashed around the car to help her out. She looked mildly shocked at my gesture, but thanked me anyway. We stood awkwardly looking at each other. I didn't want to tell her goodnight, nor did I really know how to. I couldn't define what we were, so I was unsure what would be acceptable. I knew how I wanted to, I just didn't know how receptive she would be to it.

"Thank you again for the ride." Yeah she definitely was as unsure as I was.

"Your welcome. I um, well I enjoy spending time with you." I admitted before I could stop myself.

"Me too." A glorious rush of red fell over Bella's cheek. My God was there nothing about this woman that wasn't sexy as hell. "Night then."

She took a small step towards me, standing on her tip toes to plant a goodnight kiss on me cheek. Her soft lips felt amazing. Ok so I already knew they did, my vivid memories from our first night together never allowed me to forget. As she began pulling away, I honestly couldn't stop myself. I grasped her hips, leaning toward her, chastely kissing her lips with my own, only pulling a mere inch away, waiting for her reaction. When there was none, I took it as a positive sign and moulded my lips against her again.

I sucked her bottom lip between my own, relishing in how she felt, how she tasted. She moved almost in sync with myself, as though we were both made to kiss no-one but each other.

This kiss was by far better than any we had shared before. Maybe it was due to to the build up. We or rather I, had gone months without touching her. Months that were filled with want and need. I was so ready to follow her upstairs and carry on from where we left off that night. Where my stupid mistake had prevented me from being with the most amazing person I had ever met.

My tongue darted out and licked her upper lip, asking for entrance. Big mistake. It was enough to bounce us back to reality when she pulled away sharply. We stood completely still, both just gazing at each other. I couldn't read what she was thinking, her facial expressions gave nothing away.

"I'd say I'm sorry, but I don't think I am." I whispered my admittance.

"Goodnight Edward." Was her reply.

She darted forward, pressed a soft lingering kiss to my swollen lips before turning quickly on her heel and dashing into her building, leaving me stood shocked on the side walk.

**Ahhhh hated writing this chapter. I don't think it came out as well as I wanted, but it's just ugh lol. It was meant to purely be a filler chapter. The last two-three chapters have been quite busy, so I wanted to slow it down some before the next few chapters, which hopefully will be full of action. So I apologize if you hated this chapter :D**


	10. Ready or not

Disclaimer : I don't own anything but the plot, so please don't steal it without asking, thank you :D

**A/N : Ok so I'm going to make you all a deal. Since the next chapter is just about written, if 20 of you guys review, I will update immediately. If not, it'll be another two weeks :)**

_Ok so massive thank you's to my three fantastic reviewers - **Linz832**, **Blue_eyes_lover** and **Eeyore16** you guys are awesome **:) :) :) :)**_

Chapter 10

_Ready Or Not, Here I Come, You Can't Hide  
Gonna Find You and Take it Slowly  
Ready Or Not, Here I Come, You Can't Hide  
Gonna Find You and Make you want me._

_Ready or not - The Fugees_

I forced myself to keep climbing the stairs to my apartment. I could not, would not turn around. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't. Things were complicated enough without adding this... whatever this was, between me and Edward, into the mix. I was in dangerous territory with him. Caught between wanting him, and knowing I couldn't have him.

It didn't help that every time I was near him, it felt like my body gravitated towards him. Every movement he made, I seemed to counter. There was an undeniable spark between us, that zapped away whenever we touched. It was a scary, yet exciting feeling, something I yearned for, like an addict with their chosen drug.

Out of everyone, it had been him I had been most worried about hearing my story. It would have killed me had he thought any less of me, but regardless he needed to know. He had unknowingly gotten himself involved by hitting out at James. I needn't have worried though, true to Edward's form, he was supportive beyond belief. They all were.

I let myself into my apartment, shutting the door firmly behind me, activating each lock before allowing myself to relax against it. Letting out a huge sigh of relief in knowing that there was now something more solid keeping me from running to him. I had to get myself in check. Regardless of my feelings.

This week I would be completing all the tests needed, before the following week, going through the treatment. In a few weeks I would be pregnant, hopefully, with his Brothers child. And then for nine months, my whole energy had to be focused on keeping the baby healthy. As much as I wished Edward could fit in somewhere, I failed to see exactly where. It wasn't that I didn't want him to, God did I ever want him to, but it would inevitably put him between rock and hard place.

Add all the surrogacy issues to the James issues, and I had more than enough going on in my life, without dragging Edward further into my mess. I may have slightly exaggerated when I told him I had only received a few texts from James. In honesty, I was averaging at least one a day. The Police could do little for me though since none of the texts actually acknowledged who the sender was, and the number was coming from a different number each time, with no way of even tracking it back to the owner.

During the next week, I was going to have my number changed, with plans to only give the new number to people I trusted inexplicably, which if I was honest would probably only be my Dad, Angela, Ben, Seth and the Cullen's.

This week would also be the week that I told Angela my plans. I had no doubt that she would be supportive. She would know my reasons as well as anyone, better in fact. My one worry was telling Jane. I hadn't been with the company a year, yet I would already be planning to have some form of maternity leave.

My cell phone beeped, jumping me from my reverie. It was a text, the singular beep, a noise I had become to dread in the past weeks. Checking once again that the door was securely locked, I reached over and flipped the light switch before digging in my pocket to retrieve the phone. Taking a big breath, I opened the message, both relieved and anxious when I saw that it wasn't from James.

_B - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be so forward. I meant every word I said though. If you need **anything**, call me - E xoxo_

I didn't know whether I should reply, or ignore him. Ignoring him would only put off the inevitable, and lets face it, awkwardness would commence the next time I saw him anyway. And yes I would most likely be seeing him again. Which might I add was a good thing and a bad thing.

I cursed myself. Why couldn't anything I ever did be simple, easy and without complication. It seemed as though everything I did in my life, I made harder for myself some way.

Biting the bullet I hit reply, before sitting and staring at the blank message, wondering what I needed to say.

_E - It's ok, I'm sorry too. Thank you, I will - B xoxo_

Simple enough right? I didn't want him to think I was being ignorant or anything, but I didn't want to encourage either. Clearly I was going to have to be the strong one here, and I needed to nip this... whatever this was, in the bud now, before it got any worse. After all, it was just a crush right?

I slept very little that night, my mind fully active, not seeming to want to shut down. And then when it finally did, the damn water pipes decided they had, had enough rest, and wanted to begin their nightly ritual of waking the whole building up, with their metal music.

So by the time I sat at my desk, having had only a mere two hours sleep, I felt about as good as I looked, which I knew was pretty gruesome. Angela again, my saviour placed a steamy mug of hot coffee in front of me, before looking at me with concern. She knew me well, sometimes a little too well. I shook my head, my own silent way of saying that I didn't want to explain right now.

"Drinks later." She answered, giving me no room to decline.

That one demand had me sat across from her, in this funky little wine bar. Neither of us had ever been here before, and it was the one requirement I made her agree to. Though I knew I couldn't drink, but to tell her what I was going to tell her, I didn't need us to bump into anyone we may know, so going somewhere new, seemed the perfect answer.

She sat patiently as I told her everything. Her calm façade never wavering, never once butting in, saving whatever questions she may have until I had explained the whole story. It was one of the things I loved about Angela, she never jumped to conclusions, always allowed a full explanation before giving her opinions.

"So you're going to...?" She asked once I had finished.

"That's the plan."

"Wow."

She sat for another minute, seemingly needing to process the abundance of information I had given her.

"And you're sure about this?"

"Never been surer." I told her.

"Well, I'm really happy for you. And you know me and Ben will help you with whatever you need right?"

I did quite often wonder what I would do without Angela in my life. Regardless of whether she thought what I was doing was a good or bad idea, she would always be one hundred percent supportive. She always had been.

For the next hour, we talked about the process, and what Emmett and Rose were like, before moving onto how my Dad had taken the news. She had known Charlie for as long as she had known me, which was pretty much my whole life, so she wasn't at all surprised when I told her of his reaction. She laughed even harder when I told her about taking him to meet the Cullen's, and even more so when I told her what I had been told about Emmett's nervousness.

"So the Cullen's, they're a nice family right?"

"Yeah, they are. You'll have to meet them at some point. Esme and Carlisle are like dream parents. They look at each other with such love, and I swear it's like looking at a couple of newly weds. It's really weird, they've been together going on thirty years or something, but looking at them, you'd swear they had only just realized how much in love they really are."

I could only hope that once I had found the right person, that we shared a similar love as Esme and Carlisle. It was certainly something to aspire to, that's for sure.

"Alice and Jasper, are like made for each other. Alice is like this little ball of hyperactive energy. It's tiring just watching her, but she has a heart of gold. And Jasper, he's like the super cool person, literally. He has this really weird way of making you feel at ease, even in the most strange circumstances. They compliment each other, he's the calm to her storm."

"And Emmett's other Brother?" Angela asked, taking a sip form her wine.

"Edward's... good looking, polite, he has this copper tinge to his hair, that never seems to be in order, but it still looks perfect on him. He has these shocking green eyes that feel like they are burning into your soul, reading your every thought. He seems pretty protective of his family, certainly gave me a hard enough time when he realized it was me that was going to be Emmett and Rose's surrogate."

"What do you mean 'when he realized it was me'?"

Shit. I hadn't actually told her about the fact I had met Edward previously. It was part of the whole story I hadn't felt needed to be told. I should have known Angela would be perceptive as hell, just like always. Why I thought I could ever get away with omitting details with her, I'd never know.

So clearly I had some explaining to do. It took another hour for me to explain everything that had happened from the moment I had met both Emmett and Edward that fateful night. The grin on her face just grew in size with every minute that passed, until I couldn't douse my curiosity any further.

"What are you smiling about?" I finally asked.

"Just you!" She replied as though it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"What about me?"

"Just you and the fact that you are so clueless."

"Um, thanks... I think." I said, even though I truly was none the wiser.

"You truly don't see it do you?"

"See what?"

It was like she was talking in riddles. Riddles only she knew the answer to.

"You'll see it when you're ready." She told me conspiratorially.

"Are your glasses ok? Because you're obviously seeing something I'm not."

She shook her head and laughed. For the rest of the night I would catch her giving me this odd look. Almost as though she was dying to tell me a secret, but couldn't. It was so unlike Angela.

Regardless of how odd the evening had turned out, it was still nice being able to spend time with her. We didn't spend nearly as much time together outside of work as I would like to. With promises that we should do this more often, and maybe next time with both Alice and Rose, we began gathering our belongings. Checking my phone for messages, as Angela pulled her jacket on, I noticed I had one missed call from Emmett and one message.

Without thinking I opened the message, expecting it to be from Emmett, explaining why he had called. It wasn't.

_B - Enjoy yourself while you can, the opportunity won't be there for long xoxo_

I spun around frantically, trying to see if I could see him. I knew it was him. It had to be. And whilst the message had been as cryptic as ever, it was almost as though he knew what I was doing, as though he could see me.

"Bella?" Angela asked worriedly.

"He's here." I whispered.

"What do you mean _he's _here, whose here?"

I had told her about James coming back into my life, and though she was anything but happy with the development, she trusted me when I told her that I was sorting it, that the police and my Dad both knew, and that I was keeping myself safe. I may have played it down some to her, I didn't want her to worry more than absolutely necessary, and I certainly didn't want to involve her in this whole mess.

"James." I whispered.

"Where?"

Angela spun around much like I had. It was doubtful that she would have seen him though, especially considering she had only ever seen a photograph of him. She had never had the pleasure of meeting him, he had never made a trip home with me, for an occasion.

She forced me to sit back down, after I told her I didn't know, and passed her my cell. She looked at the message, before pulling her own cell from her bag and calling Ben. I hated that she was involving herself and now Ben in this whole mess. I hated that there was a mess to begin with.

As we sat and waited for Ben to turn up, all I really wanted was to call Edward and tell him. Edward made me feel safe. It was like the whole world just went away when I was with him. He brought the old Bella out in me, the one that had been hidden by all my problems, the one who had left for Phoenix and never returned.

Fifteen minutes later, Ben arrived, giving me a tight hug. Like Angela I had known Ben for most of my life. He had been with Angela the day they collected me from the airport, and they had both gotten me through the following few days I had been back home. They had seen me at my worst, and had gotten me through worse, and I knew they would do anything they could to get me out of this mess.

"Bella, do you see him?" Ben asked quietly, obviously having been filled in by Angela while I had been spacing out.

I shook my head. I hadn't seen him, but this was James. He was evasive at best. I was in no doubt that he had seen me, maybe even followed me. Ben herded us both to the car, before taking me home, though neither he or Angela were happy with my decision. They both wanted me to go and stay with them for a few days, but I couldn't. I just wanted to try and continue as normal.

Again for the second night in a row, I slept very little, aware of every noise. It was almost like I was expecting James to appear at some point. Which is completely ridiculous, since I knew there was no way he could have gotten passed the door without being heard. Even if he had one of those skeleton keys, he wouldn't have gotten passed the dead bolt and the chain.

Angela insisted on carpooling to and from work with me, and when I had my appointments to attend she made sure to make me give her an approximate time frame of when I expected to get back home, and I had to call her the moment I was safely back in my apartment. I personally thought she was over doing it a little, but in honesty, I couldn't blame her. I knew if she was in my situation, I would be the exact same. So for now I placated her.

Emmett flipped his lid a few days later when he and Rose attended one of my appointments with me. We sat in the Doctors office awaiting my test results that would tell us whether I was a suitable for surrogacy. I hadn't wanted to get into it with them here, but when he had asked if I had received any more messages, I could only nod. Rose had gripped my hand tightly when I had told them about my night with Angela, whilst Emmett had paced erratically, only just managing to pull it together when the Doctor entered.

The news that I was suitable, lifted all of our moods immensely, but for me, James was always right there in the back of my mind. We booked an appointment for Monday of the following week to actually go through with the IVF treatment, and then we left.

They both walked me to my door, not a single word was spoken between us. Rose looked torn between who she felt the need to comfort the most. Me or Emmett. After a little more pacing from Emmett, they both, like Angela and Ben made me promise that if I ever had somewhere I needed to go, then I would call one of them to go with me. I wanted badly to laugh it off, and tell them to knock it off, but I couldn't I knew how serious this was getting.

They left after, though not before standing in the hallway and listening to me lock the door, and checking to make sure it was secure, I sat on the sofa staring out of the window at the Seattle skyline. It wasn't much of a view, considering I wasn't exactly in a pent house, and my building was surrounding by others, but what little view I had, was nice.

I wasn't sure how long I sat there, before my cell started ringing. I physically jumped at the sound, almost scared to pick it up incase it was James. It was only after a second when I realized that was what caller I.D was for, that I reached for it. The screen flashed Edward.

I knew immediately why he was calling, but since I hadn't spoken to him since the other night when we kissed, I wasn't sure how to act with him. Sure we had traded the odd text, but for the most part, we both seemed to be giving the other some space.

"Hello."

"Bella, hey it's um me, Edward." He sounded nervous somehow. "I um, I just spoke with Em, and he told me what happened. Are you ok?"

I have to admit, he was probably he first person that had actually asked me if I was ok. Everyone else seemed more concerned with James, which was ok, it was right to be concerned with him. But Edward question stumped me. Was I ok? I wasn't sure any more. Did I want to admit that I wasn't ok? No I didn't. But at the same time, I didn't think I had the energy to pretend any more. I was tired of running scared, but I was tired of fighting too. I just wanted it all to end.

"I don't know." Was about as honest as I could get.

"Can I do anything?"

Could he? Probably not, unless he had this great plan up his sleeve to get rid of James. The one thing I wanted though, wasn't something I could ask for. I wanted him to come over here, and just sit with me, to hold me and pretend that none of this was happening with me. I wanted to be wrapped up in his arms, and feel safe, and just forget about the world for a while.

"No, it's ok. Thank you though." Was my answer.

"You know where I am."

"I do."

The conversation was a little uncomfortable in light of what had happened last week, and I had no idea of how to fix it. It didn't help that I couldn't figure out whether he had kissed me last week because he had feelings for me, or whether it was just a spur of the moment mistake. I was too chicken to ask to find out though.

We ended our call shortly after that, having little to say to each other, and the awkwardness took over. I didn't want it to be like this between us. I had to figure out a way back to the easy camaraderie we had shared when we first met.

For the rest of the week, I did as I promised and made sure I always had someone to head to and from work with. It was a pain, but thankfully I didn't have to bother Emmett or Rose too much.

I saved myself some hassle over the weekend and stayed in. I got messages from practically everyone asking me if I wanted to go out with them, but I couldn't help but feel as though they were more pity invites than anything. I knew they most likely weren't, but it didn't stop me feeling that way.

I spent my weekend giving my apartment a good clean, sorted out my laundry ready to take at some point the following week, and eventually caught up on some work. By Sunday afternoon I began suffering with cabin fever, desperate to go out and get some air. Part of me wanted to be defiant and just go, by behaving like I was, James was winning, he was making my life a living hell. But the much more sensible part wouldn't allow it. There was more than just me to think about right now. Tomorrow I would be going through with the IVF and hopefully have a baby to care for, for the next nine months.

I hadn't heard anything from James since my night out with Angela, which was over a week ago. By no means was I getting complacent, but it had been well over a week now, and since meeting him at the bar, he hadn't ever left me alone this long. Maybe it was a whole false sense of security thing, who knows, but then maybe he truly had gotten bored by my lack of reaction.

Monday rolled around and Emmett and Rose picked me up just after lunch to go to my appointment with me. I was nervous, I didn't know why, but my stomach was in knots. Getting into the car with Emmett, Rose looked equally as nervous. She was pale, and looked dreadful. When I asked if she was ok, she waved me off, telling me she had some sort of stomach bug and hadn't been well all morning, but was feeling a little better now, but in no way was she missing this.

They both stayed with me in the room as we waited for the Doctor. Rose sat across the room from me, the colour slowly returning to her cheeks, though you could tell whatever it was had really knocked her on her ass. She was more concerned about not coming near me incase I caught whatever it was.

After the Doctor went through the last minute details, Em and Rose left me alone. The process having been explained, was quite straight forward. The embryo's were placed in my cervix by a syringe type of device. It was all quite quick and pain free. Slightly uncomfortable, but nothing too bad.

The Doctor's left soon after, leaving me alone with just a nurse who tried to make me comfortable. It wasn't easy in the stupid gown they had me wear. Once everything was cleaned up, they allowed Emmett and Rose to come back in to sit with me. I only had to stay for half a hour or so to just relax, as the Doctors preferred you to have a while before beginning to move around.

They both hovered over me, worrying about whether I was ok, and thanking me profusely for what I was doing. Though I didn't particularly like the attention they were both showering me with, I just tried to relax back into the bed and wait patiently for the Doctors go ahead to leave.

Twenty minutes later, the Doctor arrived a hand full of pamphlets. He explained I had to take it easy for a few days, and gave me what felt like a huge list of general advice. I had to continue taking the pills I had been given a few weeks back that were meant to help raise my fertility, as well as taking folic acid tablets. It more felt like a list of what not to do than anything though.

I had to make an appointment to come back in two weeks for the standard blood tests to check my pregnancy hormone level, but the Doctor did advise us that I could if I so chose, take a home pregnancy test whenever I felt ready, still reminding me, that it could take a few weeks, and even then since this was my first round of IVF, it might not have worked at all.

The news was a little disheartening, but we all decided on the way home that we would get together sometime over the weekend and take a test. It was hard not to get our hopes up, even though in our initial agreement, we had decided that we wouldn't go for any more than five rounds of treatment. It was all very daunting really.

The following few days, I went to work but took it easy. I was a little sore afterwards, but nothing unmanageable. My boss Jane now knew everything, and was surprisingly very supportive. She had spoken of her Sister who had used a surrogate for their youngest child, and couldn't speak more highly of her. Angela barely let me out of her sight, wouldn't let me do even the most basic of tasks. It was all starting to get a bit much.

I still hadn't heard anything from James, and was beginning to think he had given in. just the idea he had just gone away made me relax, all I had to do now was get everyone around me to do the same.

Edward as had become known, was as supportive as ever. It never felt like he was hovering over me. He sent me a message every morning asking how I was feeling, and offering his help in any way, but never once pressured me, or forced his presence in any way.

By Friday, I had, had enough of everyone treating me like a piece of glass. I loved Angela to bits, but she was constantly there whilst we were at work. Even a simple trip to the copy room was treat like a marathon. It was like she wasn't happy unless I was sat in my chair at my desk. Over lunch, she dropped me off in the break room, and despite my arguments to the contrary, she fled to go and pick our lunch up.

I needed to speak to someone who didn't treat me like an invalid. I needed to speak to Edward.

_E - Can you do me a favour? - B xoxo_

I wasn't expecting a reply immediately, thinking he was probably busy. He was running a huge corporation for goodness sake.

_B - Anything! - E xoxo_

_E - Can you look up the word pregnant in the dictionary for me, and tell me if it mentions anything in regards to terminal illness or disability please - B xoxo_

_B - Friends still driving you mad? - E xoxo_

_E - I'm being a bitch aren't I? - B xoxo_

_B - Not at all. It's understandable. Come crash in my office with me. Dad's gone for the day, could use the company! - E xoxo_

_E - Don't tempt me - B xoxo_

_B - Wouldn't dream of it ;p - E xoxo_

_E - Angela's back with lunch. Thanks for cheering me up :) - B xoxo_

_B - Any time :D - E xoxo_

It was amazing how a five minute conversation with him could cheer me up. Hell I hadn't even spoken to him, and he had pulled me out of my mood. He seemed to understand how I was feeling, how annoying the hovering was. I didn't know whether it was because he had learnt first hand, or whether he was just good at being sympathetic.

Regardless of how quickly Edward had cheered me up, Angela in record breaking time put me right back where I started from. I knew she was trying to be helpful and supportive, but when she placed my lunch in front of me, it was completely different to what I had asked for. Having seen the questioning look on my face, she explained that my order of chicken burger and fries which I had called through earlier, wasn't very healthy. So instead she had picked up a pasta salad for me.

That was surprisingly all it took for me to lose it. I tossed the packaged salad on the table in front of me, grabbed my cell before storming out of the room. I could hear Angela following behind me, calling my name worriedly.

"I'm sorry Jane, I have to leave." I told her as I popped my head around her door.

She simply nodded. She had noticed over the past week how stressed I was becoming by everyone's behaviour toward me, and she knew how much I needed to try to remain as relaxed as possible.

"Bella!" Angela shouted.

"I'm sorry Ang, I know you're only trying to be helpful, but honestly, you're all driving me crazy."

I immediately felt guilty. Her face fell into a frown. I didn't want to hurt her, or even come across as ungrateful, but I just needed to have some space. If this is what this was going to be like for the next nine months, then I was going to go crazy. It was too much, it all was.

"If you really want the burger, I can go back and get it for you."

"No, I'm sorry Ang, I just... I'm grateful for all you're doing, but I don't even know for sure I'm pregnant yet, and you're all treating me like this delicate doll. I just need you all to back off and treat me like normal. At least until I get too fat to be able to do anything for myself. Ok?"

She nodded forcing a smile as I pulled her into a hug, telling her I just needed to go home and relax. I reassured her I wasn't mad with her, just frustrated, and not just with her, with everyone. I didn't however tell her that, that didn't include Edward. I was seriously beginning to doubt if Edward could ever make me feel mad towards him.

After leaving work, I headed home, retreating straight away to my bathroom to have a nice soak in the tub. Only as I started filling the tub, there was no hot water. I growled in frustration, before throwing a sweater and jeans on and stomping my way down to the super's room to complain... again. As expected he wasn't in.

This did nothing but blacken my mood as I headed back to my apartment. I wrote a note of complaint to shove under his door, before writing a second that I would mail to the landlord. This had gone on long enough. If I wasn't being woken at ridiculous hours with banging pipes, I didn't have any hot water. I couldn't afford to move though, this was one of few half decent places I could afford, and believe me, I had looked. I still looked even now, keeping my eyes on the classifieds week after week.

Deciding to put my anger and frustrations to good use, I spent the next few hours cleaning my apartment, sorting my laundry ready for the next available chance I had to go and do it, as well as answering calls from Angela who wanted to make sure I had made it home ok, and both Emmett and Rose wanting to just check in.

By the time I had finished, my apartment was spotless, not that it was dirty or anything before, but it was nice to see my hours of hard work had paid off. I think if it hadn't been noticeable, my mood would have plummeted straight back down to the negative end of the spectrum.

Sitting on the couch, I felt an odd craving for chocolate or ice cream. Something sweet. It was odd, usually I craved savoury items. Maybe this was a sign. Either way, I wouldn't allow myself to get my hopes up, we had be warned what felt like a hundred times, that it can often take a few attempts before the results are positive.

A craving was a craving though, and it was definitely something I would have to get used to. And since I had nothing to placate my sudden sweet tooth, a trip to the local store was a must. Again something I was sure I would have to get used to. I had read about women craving odd things in the early hours of the mornings or late at night. Except I had no-one to drive around at two am to fetch whatever it was I wanted. The life of a single Mom, except I wasn't the Mom.

I grabbed my purse on my way out of the door, posting the letter under the super's door, as I headed to the local store. I posted my letter to the landlord, before heading inside, planning on buying myself a big tub of ice cream and some chocolate, to drown my sorrows in considering alcohol was now out of the question.

It just felt as though everything was going wrong at once. Like I couldn't catch a break. I knew one thing was certain, and it was that I had to try to relax a little more. Things were only going to get more hectic over the coming months if I got pregnant. I'd already been warned by my Doctor at one of my previous appointments that I was more likely to feel stress whilst pregnant, in fact all my emotions would be heightened, as if they weren't already.

I must have stood for a good ten minutes in the frozen section, contemplating which flavour I wanted, before deciding Neapolitan had the three flavours I was wanting most. I hadn't even gotten off the aisle before I turned around and picked up a second tub, just to be on the safe side.

Along with my ice cream and bag of chips, which once I walked passed, I couldn't resist, I headed back for home. The skies had darkened some from heavy rain clouds, though thankfully they were far enough away that I felt sure I would be back home before any rain fell.

"Isa! Fancy seeing you here!"

I stopped dead in my tracks. The one voice I had thought, hoped I had heard the last of. The voice I hadn't counted on hearing when I set off out this evening.

"James." I fought to keep my voice steady, not even giving him the benefit of looking at him.

I began walking again, trying, pleading with myself to keep my walk calm and confident. _Just keep walking_ my brain chanted over and over. I fought desperately against myself to break into a run. Pointless really. If he wanted, he would easily outrun me, that's if I didn't fall and knock myself out first, which lets face it, was more probable than anything else.

I took a mental inventory of anything I had that could be used as a weapon, where my cell was, and where I could see the nearest people. I was about three maybe four blocks from home, a woman on a cell about four hundred yards ahead of me, of course my luck would have her walking with her back to me. I daren't turn around to check for people behind me, in fear of seeing James.

"Isa, Isa, Isa, that's no way to treat me surely. After all I did _for_ you, after all you did _to_ me."

He was right behind me. The hair on the back of my neck bristled. I bit my tongue from replying to him. Antagonising him was the last thing I needed to do right now. _Just keep walking, just keep walking_, the chanting continued. I tried to pick my pace up without it being too noticeable.

"Ah ah ah Isa, no running this time." I felt him grab my arm and pull me back.

He spun me to face him, and I dropped my bag in the process. It didn't matter, any craving for ice cream that I had, had was long gone by now. Fear had gladly taken it's place.

"What do you want?" I hoped and prayed I came across stronger than I felt.

"I want to ruin your life the way you ruined mine." He hissed in my face.

I could smell the stench of stale alcohol, and what I thought was cannabis. Which was highly probable, after all this was James. I wouldn't be at all surprised if there wasn't something much stronger in his system.

"You ruined it yourself." I snapped back.

He roughly pushed me into the brick wall behind me. My head banged against it, a dull throbbing appearing immediately. His face appeared a mere inch away from mine. His eyes black, which was most likely his pupil fully dilated, his nostrils flared with each breath. His hands were pushing my shoulders against the wall. It hurt, more than you can imagine, but in honesty, the pain was nothing compared to fully fledged fear I felt pump through my veins.

"Not so strong without your little posse of friends are you?"

He continued his tirade, voicing his ideas on what he was going to do to me. None of it registered though. My head was throbbing, I knew I had a cut on the back of my head, I could smell the metallic aroma of blood, my stomach doing flip flops. Small black spots started entering the corner of my vision. I couldn't be sure whether it was due to a concussion, the adrenalin rushing through my body, or the fact I was close to passing out due to the blood. I hoped beyond hope that it wasn't the latter. Fainting wasn't going to help me at all at this point.

Trying to concentrate on how to get myself out of this, rather than the pain I was feeling, and the black spots that were getting larger by the minute. Looking both ways up and down the street, there was no-one to come to my rescue. I was on my own. I just had to figure out a way of distracting him, and taking my chances at running. I may not get away from him fully, but hopefully I could make it closer to the end of the street, where the chances of someone hearing my screams grew.

My mind flitted through all the self defence classes that my Dad had forced me through. I may not have used them back in Phoenix, but they were my only hope now. I raced through the memories of each class, struggling to remember the ways we had been taught to disarm an attacker. There was only one way I could think.

Waiting for the perfect moment, the moment to catch him off guard. Waiting for him to take a breath from his constant diatribe, to catch a breath. He finally paused. Putting all my strength into, I raised my right knee, connecting with his crown jewels. Air gushed from between his lips, as he doubled over in pain. I stepped from in front of him, I knew the pain wouldn't hold him at bay for long. I had to take every opportunity as they came to slow him down. I picked up and swung my grocery bag, allowing it to connect soundly in his face. He stumbled backwards, collapsing in a heap on the floor, coughing and spluttering.

Without allowing myself to feel the guilt of what I had done, I dropped the bag and took off in a run toward home. I have never run so fast in my life, people actually jumped out of my way on the sidewalk as I barrelled through them. Never once did I look back, scared I suppose that I would find James sprinting after me.

Within the space of minutes, I ploughed toward the front door of my apartment building. My hands shaking, barely able to push my key into the lock. My heart was beating heavily, through exertion, fear and adrenalin. I wanted, so desperately to feel safe now I was back home, but I couldn't.

"ISA!" The voice I feared the most yelled, just as I stepped into the foyer.

Letting out a scream, I managed to slam the door before he got entrance, and again took off running up the stairs. I knew it was only time now before either someone let him in, or he broke in himself. Tiredness began to appear as I stumbled a few times up the six flights on stairs. My knees and shins would be covered in bruises. A small price to pay however compared to the bruises I would receive at the hands of James if he got to me. Hell who knew if he'd stop there.

Finally reaching my floor, I ran to my door, banging into it, as I forced my hands to remain steady as I opened the locks. It didn't help that I could now hear growling coming from the stairwell. I managed to get inside before I caught sight of James, or even before I heard him reach my floor. I didn't care though, I slammed the door behind me, snapping the dead bolt into place, locking the main lock, and pushing the chain into place. I slid down the door, breathing heavily. I was on the verge of a panic attack, and my exertion was not helping with keeping my breathing calm.

A thud on my door caused me to yelp. I couldn't move, if anything I thought my weight would help prevent him from attempting to break it down. I needed help. I knew I did. I fumbled into my pocket for my cell, pulling it out, and with shaking hands, I managed to scroll through my last called list for Emmett.

"Hey B, hows it going? To what do I owe the pleasure?" He sounded so cheerful.

"ISA!" James bellowed.

"Bella?" Emmett asked worriedly.

"Em... Emmett you... you have to... help me!" I whispered through my panting breaths.

"Bella where are you Hun?" I could hear the fear in his voice.

"M... my place."

"ISA! I swear if you don't let me in, I'm gonna break the damn door in."

"Rose call Edward, get him over to Bella's now. James is there." I heard him tell Rose. "Bella, Hun, Rose is calling Edward now, he's gonna be there in minutes. I need you to make sure all the locks on the door are locked, go to your windows, and lock all them before closing the blinds, then go into your bathroom and lock yourself in there until one of us come get you ok. Don't leave the bathroom for anything ok." His voice was strangely calm as he told me what to do.

"He's on his way. I'll call the cops too." I heard Rose tell him.

He relayed the message from Rose, as he told me to stay on the line, and passed the phone to Esme and Carlisle. Carlisle talked me through locking all the windows, and closing the blinds, before again telling me to go into the bathroom and locking myself in there. Once he was sure I was safely locked away, he turned his concern into how bad my breathing had become. Telling me to talk him through how I was feeling, where I was hurt. With his soothing voice I began to slow my breathing to a calmer rate, the black spots in my vision, getting a little smaller. I was still shaking fiercely though, my arm aching from the grip I was having to exert to keep the phone in my hand through the shaking.

Glass smashing sounded throughout the apartment. I bit my lip hard to prevent from screaming. I knew it was James, and the last thing I needed was for him to find me easier because of my screams. Carlisle again came to my rescue, speaking softly to keep me calm, it didn't help much though when I could hear the strain in his voice.

I dropped the phone to my side as I pushed myself further into the corner, pulling my knees up to my chest, curling as tightly into a ball as I could. Wanting desperate for the ground to swallow me up, if nothing to just get away from James. I could still hear both Carlisle and now Esme talking to me, trying to get me to breath along with their counting. I was past that point though now.

"Isa, I know you're in there." James voice sung.

I heard a crack, quickly followed by a bang. That was all I could take, as I allowed the darkness to sweep over me, convinced that he had broken through the flimsy lock of the bathroom door.

**Ohhhh I wonder what harm will James do? Please review for me, I really do appreciate your feedback and remember 20 reviews means an update :D**


	11. I would die for you

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there :p

_As usual a hugely massive thank you to my reviewers, as well as an apology. You guys have been absolutely amazing, and I do apologize that the last two updates I have not managed to thank you personally as I usually do, but I've had soooo much on, added the fact my laptop has yet again had to go in for fixing. So please don't think I'm not grateful, I truly am, and I do intend to get myself back on track :) So again big thank you to **Eeyore16**, **Velvetwhispers**, **Linz832**, **Blue_eyes_lover**, **unamed**, **Bandeforever16 x2** and **Teamedwardtwilightfan –** you guys are truly amazing **:) :) :) :)**_

Chapter 11

_I've never kissed a sweeter mouth  
I've never been swept away its what dreams are made about  
Don't you know I could not survive without you in my life?  
I would die for you  
I would die for you  
I would die for you_

_I would die for you - Jann Arden_

The last couple of weeks had felt like a lifetime. Not seeing Bella was killing me. I hated that I had potentially ruined any kind of relationship we had by kissing her. The thing is though, she had returned the kiss. I couldn't work it out. I couldn't work her out. At the time she acted like she was happy to go along with it, only to then just back away. I guess I figured she regretted it. But surely, if she regretted it, why did she still talk to me.

The only advice Alice had been able to give me, was that she had a lot going on in her life right now, she was probably just struggling to get her head around everything. So for now, I was bound to only contacting her via text. It killed me. Absolutely killed me to not hear her voice.

When we did text, I tried to keep things light and friendly. She had tipped me off about how everyone was smothering her with their protective tendencies, and though I was practically dying to join them, it gave me the opportunity to back off a little. I may want to protect her more than anything, but I certainly didn't want to do it at the expense of pushing her further away from me.

So for now, I was doing my protecting via Emmett. I continued speaking to him daily, which admittedly was never far from the norm, but now, my main purpose was to get as much information about Bella as possible. Always working her into the conversation, trying to be as subtle as possible. If he had any suspicions of my feelings for her, he failed to show them. So for now, I was still safe. I just wasn't sure how long it would take him to start to piece things together.

Any excuse I could find to text her, I used. Even insignificant things such as the weather, I would text her about it. I even went as far as using Alice and the wedding as an excuse. It was something about her nagging me to go and get measured for my tux. Bella clearly didn't need to know any of this, but my moaning about it, was the only reason I had at the time.

When Emmett had told me that Bella had received a text from James whilst she'd been out with a friend, my first thought was to rush over there and drag her home with me. Simply hearing from Em that she was safe wasn't enough, so the moment I ended the call with him, I couldn't help myself from calling her. The conversation was strained at best, but just being able to hear her voice soothed me.

As it was for the following few days, whenever anyone's behaviour got too much, I seemed to be her go to guy. I was beyond thrilled to be that guy for her. I somehow found a way to ease her stress, without coming right out and saying everyone else was in the wrong, because I for one, knew that was a lie. Yes I did think some of the things they were doing were a little over the top, but I knew given the opportunity I too would be doing those things.

When she had text me this afternoon asking me to do her a favour, I was only to eager to jump at the chance, hoping it was something like go and pick her up, or go somewhere with her. I was not expecting her request of looking a word up in the dictionary. Regardless I went with it, she was talking to me, well technically writing to me, but whatever she had to give, I was willing to take it.

I was a little worried about her. She had gone through with the treatment on Monday, so in theory she could be pregnant now, but with the stress of everyone treating her like glass, she was putting herself further at risk of not becoming pregnant. She was already strung high enough with stress with the whole James business, without adding to it.

So here I was on a Friday night, sat staring at the TV screen, not really taking in anything I was watching. Emmett and Rose had gone to our folks for dinner, and Alice and Jasper were doing something wedding related, much to Jasper's displeasure. Of course I had been invited to dinner, but I hadn't been in the mood. If anything I felt that at least one of us should be close by for Bella's sake. Of course I didn't give that reason when I declined.

Tossing the empty carton of Chinese onto the coffee table, I sunk back into the plush sofa, trying my hardest to focus on the screen. It was pointless though, my mind continued to drift to Bella, wondering what she was doing. Half of me thinking I should call her, just to see if she wanted to go out and do something. She had mentioned in previous texts that she felt a little like she was on house arrest.

I was considering my options when my cell started ringing. It was Rose. It was rare she called me, and I knew without doubt it wouldn't be Emmett playing jokes, since Rose never let him near her cell after he had accidentally called one of her clients thinking it was me, and farted down the line. She was far from happy, and made him pay for a full service of his car.

"Hey Rose."

"Edward, you have to get over to Bella's, James is there." Her voice was full of panic. I could hear Emmett talking to someone in the background.

"Call the cops, I'm on my way."

I ended the call as I flew up from the sofa dashing toward the door, and grabbing my keys. I flew past the elevator, toward the stairwell, practically throwing myself down each flight, which admittedly was probably pretty stupid, considering one off landing, could end any chance I had of getting to Bella quickly.

The adrenalin was pumping as I sprinted towards my car, throwing myself into the seat. Never before have I treat my car so harshly, but now was not the time to be worrying about how hard I was slamming it into gear, or how fierce I was being on the gas. The shutter doors to the garage had barely opened high enough before I was flying out, directly into the road.

Car horns blared at me as I swerved in front of them, around them, towards them. It was reckless driving, but oddly I was never out of control. All of the Cullen's seemed to be naturally fast drivers. None more so than Alice however. She was a speed demon, but never once had I felt unsafe with her.

A journey that should have taken ten to fifteen minutes, lasted me only six. I didn't care that I had skidded to a stop right outside of Bella's building, into a no parking zone. All that mattered was getting to Bella.

The main door to her building was closed. I had no idea how I was going to get in. Chances were she wasn't going to buzz me in even if I tried, and no doubt none of her neighbours would. So one of my few options was to break down the door. It was far from the best option. It would slow me down, quite probably damage my shoulder. But my choices were few and far between.

Thankfully the decision was made for me, when an elderly lady exited, holding the door open for me. I thanked her, thinking I would have to remind myself to ask Bella who she was so I could send her some flowers or something. The thought barely stayed in my head for more than a few seconds as I began the trek up the six flights of stairs.

I had hoped that by the time I got to Bella's floor that I would have spotted James by now, but who was I kidding, he was a psycho. He wasn't going to give up until he was stopped by either the police, or until he got to her. Over my dead body it would be the latter.

For the first time since Rose's call, did I feel fear, when I saw James wasn't where I expected him to be, outside of Bella's door. To me, that meant only one thing. He was in there with her. My worst nightmare come true. He had gotten to her before I had.

Shaking the negative thoughts away, I ran toward her door, half expecting it to just open. I should have known he wasn't dumb enough. My breathing was heavy as I pressed my ear to the door, listening for any sounds. It was pretty much silent. I could hear a shuffling noise, but thankfully there was no screaming coming from Bella. That didn't mean anything though.

"Isa, you know I'm going to find you." I heard the distinct voice of James, just before I pulled away.

I didn't know whether to be relieved that Bella was hiding or not. Of course it gave me precious moments to get in there before he found her. I just wished the god-damn cops would hurry up. Who knew what I was going to find on the other side of the door. He could have any number of weapons on him. I truly didn't care though, so long as Bella remained safe was all that mattered.

I backed up to the wall behind me, before taking a small run and throwing myself shoulder first into it. The door surprisingly gave way. I grabbed the door frame with my free arm to stop myself from hitting the floor. My shoulder ached, badly. It didn't matter though.

I immediately saw James. He was stood next to the bathroom door. He had turned to face me after hearing the commotion. He scowled at me, his eyes growing thin. His upper lip curling into what looked like a growl. He began inching towards me. I was aware of his hand in his jacket pocket, like he was trying to conceal something.

I could faintly hear sirens, and hoped they would hurry. I didn't want to have to fight him, but I'd be damned if I let him hurt Bella, and if he wanted her, he'd have no choice but to go through me.

"Well if it isn't one of the posse here to protect little Isa." His voice was sly as he continued stepping slowly toward me. "If only you knew what kind of person she really is."

He was trying to bait me, but it wasn't going to work. Even if Bella hadn't told us everything that happened between them, I would have found it hard to believe anything he said anyway.

"She'll turn on you like she turned on me. Ruin your life. Spread lies about you."

The closer he got, the more I noticed how dark his eyes were, how he had this odd little twitch going on. His visible hand was shaking in an almost nervous manner. I could only put it down the cocktail of drugs that I imagined were in his system.

"She needs to pay for what she's done to me." He hissed.

There was maybe seven to eight foot between us. My back was still to the doorway, blocking his exit. I was damned that after all this, I was going to let him run away, leaving a second opportunity to get to Bella wide open. Hell no was that happening. The sirens were louder now, I assumed they were pretty much pulling up. James heard them too, his eyes growing more furious.

"Over my dead body you'll touch her." I growled out.

Regardless of what was going on around us, my eyes never left James. I needed to be ready for anything he threw my way. He took another step closer, but I was fully aware of how close we were. He had to make the first move. I had no idea what he had in his hand, if anything. If I lunged, he could use whatever it was to harm me. No he had to move first.

I didn't have long to wait. Revealing his hand, which held a small pocket knife. The blade already flicked out. Jesus this was going to get messy. I silently thanked Em and Jazz for wanting to go to all those karate, boxing and even wrestling classes at the gym. I could protect myself long enough from him until the cops came to save my ass.

I knew to watch for a sign that he would lunge. There was always a sign. He would move his weight slightly, preparing himself, or he would alter his grip on the blade. All insignificant things that no-one would think to look for. I was though.

And there it was just like that. He spun the fob of the blade in his hand. I prepared myself to move quickly, as he leapt forward, blade first toward my body. At the very last second I spun away, the momentum of James body flying past me. I grabbed the arm that was holding the knife, and brought it down harshly against my raised thigh. It wasn't hard enough to break it, it was hard enough for him to drop the knife.

Not giving him the chance to make a grab for it, I pushed his body with all my might toward the wall. He took a blind swing at me, though didn't connect. I swung my fist into his stomach, hearing him expel the air from his lungs. He took little time to recover, but I was prepared, and my fist connected with his jaw. I shook my hand off, knowing I had bruised my knuckles good. The small amount of pain distracted me for mere seconds, but that was all it took for James to connect a good strong punch to my cheek bone. The force was enough to push my balance off centre and cause me to fall back onto the back of the couch.

He rammed into me, causing us both to fly over the couch. He landed onto the glass coffee table, as I managed to keep myself on the sofa cushions. The smarting pain in my cheek lead me to believe he had split the skin, and I had twisted my knee. I jumped to my feet as stealthily as I could manage, to find James recovering also. He barrelled a punch to my stomach, but unlike me, he wasn't quick enough hit out again, as I used my lowered position to kick his legs out from under him.

He landed heavily onto his back. I kicked him swiftly in his gut, hoping that would be enough. I took a step away, just enough so I wasn't in his reach, as I tried to catch my breath.

The police decided at that moment to barge into the room. Pausing for merely a second to take in the room, before dashing toward the two of us. I muttered out his name, followed by my own. Oddly they both left me alone and began arresting James, who by this point was in no state to fight back. I pointed out the knife James had been carrying, knowing it would be a vital piece of evidence. Once I knew he was secured, I spun on my heel, and ran toward the bathroom. I tested the handle finding it locked.

"Bella... Baby. It's me, Edward. You can come out now Baby, it's safe, I promise." I said softly.

I laid my ear against the door, listening to signs of movement, or even questions from her wanting to be sure. There was nothing though. I began to wonder if she had a window in there that she could climb out of.

"Baby?"

I listened again. There was nothing. No words, no sounds of fear, nothing. I laid my forehead back against the door. I was beginning to get worried. Was she even in there? That's when I saw the sliver of light coming out from under the door. I stepped back, my eyes immediately looking toward the half an inch gap. I laid flat on the floor, trying to get a decent peak into the room. There was nothing. It was only when I was about to get that I noticed a pair of shoes.

I got back to my feet. I knew they could just be a pair of shoes Bella left there, but then again it could have been her. Deciding to take the chance, I knew I had to break in there. But before I did that, I had to speak again. I didn't want to freak her out by just barging in.

"Baby, I swear there's only me. Please don't be scared." There was still nothing. "Ok, I'm gonna come in."

I forced my shoulder into the door again. Not as hard, I didn't need to scare her more than necessary, and beside this door was flimsy compared to the main door. It still hurt my shoulder though. Without a doubt I was going to be sore beyond belief tomorrow. It took barely anything for the door to pop open. And there she was.

She was shaking like a leaf, her knees held tightly against her chest, so tightly that I was surprised she could even breath. Her face was hidden in her arms that were resting on top of her knees. Now the door was open I could hear her breathing. It was ragged, uneven, and shallow. I knelt in front of her, my hands resting on her shins. I wanted my touch to feel innocent to her.

"Baby, it's ok, I'm here." I whispered, hoping she would lift her face from her arms to see the reassurance in my face.

"Edward?" I could strangely hear my Dad's voice.

I looked around myself, half expecting him to be stood behind me in the doorway. It was only when I saw Bella's cell beside her, that I figured he had been talking to her the whole time, and could hear my voice.

"Edward!"

"Yeah, Dad, I'm here." I picked up the cell, sitting down fully in front of Bella.

"Are you ok? Is Bella ok?" He said hastily. "We're nearly there."

"Yeah, yeah, I'm ok. Bella's... um a little... out of it."

It's shock Edward, keep talking to her, we'll be with you in less than five minutes." And with that, the call ended.

I immediately turned my attention back to Bella. Her breathing seemed to be slowing some, but she was still trembling. I was at a loss of what to do. Dad said to keep talking, but what to say.

I began whispering to her, consoling her as best as I could. I edged my way around so that my knees were either side of her, bent so that her shoulders were level with my knees. I couldn't get her much closer if I tried. I gently tried to loosen her up from the rigid position she was in. after a small amount of pulling, I managed to her legs to stretch out on either of my sides, so that I could pull her into my chest.

"Is she ok?" One of the police officers popped his head around the door frame.

"Just shocked, I think." I replied.

"We're gonna..." He began.

"I'M GONNA GET YOU FOR THIS ISA, YOU AND YOUR LITTLE BOYFRIEND." I heard James yell.

I felt Bella flinch in my arms, and I responded by tightening my hold on her. The officer gestured toward the door, before telling me they were going to get James out of here. He quickly jotted down my cell number so that we could arrange a time that would be convenient to go and give our statements.

I could hear small sobs coming from Bella, once we were left in silence again. I pulled back, gently lifting my hand to pry Bella's chin upwards so I could see her face. She looked straight at me, letting out a small gasp before even more tears flooded her gorgeous chocolate pools. She lifted her hand letting her finger stroke over my cheek. It stung like a bitch having her touch it, but I wasn't about to make her feel worse by showing her my pain.

"I'm s... s... sorry." She stuttered out, hiding her face back into my chest.

"Shhh Baby, it's fine. We're ok." I rubbed my hands up and down her back, trying to comfort her.

Instead of comforting her, this only seemed to make her worse. He sobs broke into crying, as she clung to the shoulders of my shirt, gripping for what felt like dear life. It was almost as though she was petrified that I was going to leave her. Not knowing what else to do, I continued rubbing soothing circles on her back, telling her over and over that she was safe, that I wasn't going to let her go.

Something on the wall in front of me caught my attention. A red smear on a pale blue wall. Blood. I let my eyes drift to her back, trying to see if she had cut herself, not seeing anything, my next guess was her head. I raised one hand, slowly letting my hand slide down from the top of her head. It was when I touched the crown I could feel a sticky mess.

I suddenly felt murderous. That bastard had hurt her. He had hurt my Bella. My thoughts immediately turned to where else he had hurt her. Where else he had touched her. I was grateful for the fact she was in my arms, with no immediate plans to let go.

"Edward!" Emmett's voice yelled, though not before I heard his heavy footsteps stomp into the apartment.

"Back here." I spoke loudly, scared if I shouted I would scare her more.

She didn't seem scared, but still tightened her hold on me. I didn't care, I was actually secretly happy she wanted me over anyone else right now. I chose to ignore the fact that it was probably only because I got to her first, I was the one who was sat here with her right now.

Emmett stormed into the room like a bull in a china shop. He asked if I was ok, of which my reply was a slight nod. Obviously disregarding the fact that I had a nice cut on my cheek bone, bruised knuckles, bruised stomach, twisted knee and a nicely bruised shoulder. I would survive though. Bella, well so far other than the cut on the back of the head, I couldn't see any visual injuries, but I was truly more concerned by what I couldn't see.

The rest of the family crowded around the doorway. My Dad and Emmett stepped closer, to help me get up since Bella seemed unwilling to let go, and because of the lack of space and our position, I couldn't get up on my own with her in my arms. Holding onto Bella equally as tight, my Dad and Emmett hooked their arms under mine, and helped hoist us both to my feet. My hold on Bella never loosening.

Rose and my Mom lead the way to Bella's room, aware of the mess the living room had been left in after my fight with James. I sat on the edge of the bed, managing to get Bella to loosen her grip so she could sit beside me. I kept my arms around her, wanting her to feel protected and comforted.

For the first time I saw her face clearly. Her eyes were bloodshot and swollen from crying, her cheeks tear stained and puffy. Her shaking was still present, though not nearly as bad as earlier. Beyond the rosy cheeks, she was pale. Well paler than usual.

I looked at my family, unsure of what to do next. I didn't want to push her for details, but we couldn't just sit here all night. Like it or not, there were now things that needed sorting. For one, both myself and Bella had to go to the police station to give our statements, her door needed fixing before I, and I knew my family, would allow her to stay here alone, if she wanted to stay anyway. And clearly we needed to get her checked out at the hospital. Her head for one needed checking out, and who knew about other injuries. I swallowed my fear, ready to ask the question I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer to.

"Bella, baby, other than your head, did he hurt you anywhere?"

She seemed to contemplate for a moment, maybe doing a mental inventory. She gingerly reached up and felt where a now large bump protruded from her crown. She hissed in pain, though oddly, never brought her hand back in front of her to check whether she was bleeding. Maybe she already knew, but I always thought it was just kind of instinct to look.

"No." She finally mumbled. "He gripped my arms when he pushed me against the wall, but that's it."

I heard Emmett inhale and exhale loudly through his nose at her answer. He like me was trying his hardest to keep it together in front of her. If I knew my Brother at all, he was seconds away from chasing James down to the police station, and committing a crime of his own. I also knew I wouldn't be far behind him, if not in front of him.

"Bella... Honey, I think we need to get you both to the ER, have you both checked out." My Dad told her gently.

He was stood in a position where he could see the wound on the back of her head. I knew head injuries needed checking regardless, but even I could see blood still seeping from the cut. Bella didn't seem to notice though. She just sat silently in my arms, not looking at anything in particular.

I was concerned about her. She was pale, and shaking profusely. She didn't seem to be taking anything in, and I knew if we weren't careful, she might revert into herself, and try to deal with it all by herself.

"C'mon Baby, we'll go get checked out, then you are coming back to mine until we can get your door fixed." I told her. "Rose, can you maybe grab her some clothes and whatever else you think she might need."

Rose nodded, disappearing into the bathroom and returning only moments later with a handful of bottles. She put them down on the bed before heading to Bella's closet to find a bag. She asked Bella if there was anything in particular she wanted, but only received a small head shake in response. Dad and Emmett had gone back into the living room to inspect the damage and to try and organise someone to come and fix whatever damage had been made.

"I think I have everything, if I've missed anything, we can come back or go and buy it." Rose told us.

"Bella, honey, are you in pain?" My Mom knelt in front of her, grasping Bella's shaking hands.

Bella managed to shake her head in response, but it was quickly followed by a shrug of her shoulders, though it was barely noticeable from her shaking. I rubbed one hand up and down her upper arm. Seeing this, my Mom grabbed for the blanket that was laid, folded over the end of the bed. I nodded my head when she looked at me questioningly.

"Baby, I think you're going into shock, we just need to wrap this around you." I told her softly, as I leant away from her slightly, giving my Mom the opportunity to wrap the blanket around her shoulders.

About ten minutes later, the superintendent had arrived and was going to fix the door and board the windows up, which I was told was how James had clearly gotten into the apartment. I bent to pick Bella up, but the moment I had her full weight in my arms and took a step, my knee screamed in protest. Seeing me stumble, Emmett grabbed her from my arms, with a slight protest from Bella, who had been gripping my shirt. She immediately calmed though once she realized it was Emmett who had hold of her, and I had told her I was right behind her. My Dad walked beside me with my arm draped over his shoulder as additional support, as we headed straight for the cars.

The moment I climbed in the back seat of my parents car, Bella huddled back up to me, still shivering, her teeth now chattering. I secured the blanket around her, asking my Dad to turn the heat up. She was definitely in shock now, which I knew if left untreated could be incredibly serious.

The drive to the hospital was spent in silence. Emmett and Rose were taking my car, since we couldn't all fit in my parents, and were going to meet us there. Knowing how Emmett drove, I expected him to already be there waiting. Usually I wouldn't have even considered allowing him to get behind the wheel of my car, but since I didn't really have the option of driving myself, and couldn't leave it parked as haphazardly as it was outside Bella's apartment, there wasn't a choice. I would be checking it for scratches however later, and he had best pray I didn't find any.

Once in the ER, Bella was taken in immediately since she had a head injury. I had to await seeing the triage nurse, so Emmett and Rose went with her, leaving me sat with my parents. The adrenalin having now worn off, I was aware of the pain in my knee, shoulder and stomach. There was a slight stinging on my cheek, but that was nothing compared. I had, had much worse growing up thanks to Emmett.

When I was finally seen, the nurse dealing with me seemed more intent on flirting shamelessly with me rather than dealing with my injuries. For every flutter of her eyelashes, my patience grew even thinner. Five minutes later, I had, had enough and told her if she wasn't going to hurry up and treat me, then I would go ahead and discharge myself. That got her focus back instantly, as she immediately ordered an x-ray for my knee and shoulder.

I sent my Dad to go and check in on Bella, whilst my Mom sat and waited with me. I'd had enough of the waiting, I just wanted to know that Bella was ok, and get the hell out of here. I knew I hadn't broken anything, so the x-rays were pointless, but I agreed to them, if nothing more than to placate my Mom.

By the time my Dad had returned, I had already been for my x-rays, and were just waiting for the results. Rose stepped back into my cubical with him. I began to panic that she was more seriously injured than we first thought.

"She's fine Edward. They're just glueing her cut closed." My Dad told me.

"So she's ok then?" My Mom asked.

"Yeah, she'll be fine. They wanted her to stay in for observation because it was a head wound, but she's refusing. She hates hospitals." Rose informed us.

"So Edward, me and Emmett were wondering if, rather than going back to your apartment, if you'd come home with us? Bella needs waking every few hours throughout the night in case of concussion, and well you will probably need to rest your leg too."

For a few seconds I was stumped by her offer. Not because it was an unusual offer, I had stayed many a time with Rose and Emmett, mostly after a particularly heavy night of drinking with Emmett, but more because it seemed she was seeking my permission.

"Um, yeah, that would actually be great. Thanks Rose."

Getting the results of the x-rays seemed to take longer than the wait to actually have them. After sitting for twenty minutes, I asked my Dad to go and find out what was holding them up. He returned shortly after with the Doctor, whose bedside manner left a lot to be desired. Without barely looking at me, he held the pictures up into the light, showing no breaks, before telling me to take over the counter pain relief as instructed on the pack, and to use hot and cold compresses at least twice a day. Signing the paperwork, I hobbled form the bed, following my parents to where the nurse was just finishing up with Bella.

She looked much better than earlier, having much more colour to her cheeks, she was actually smiling as Emmett spoke to her, before she broke into a laugh. Trust my Brother to lighten the mood. The moment she saw me hobble in though, the smile disappeared as she looked at me with concern. I could practically feel the guilt rolling off of her.

"Edward. I'm so sorry, are you ok?" She whispered.

"Shh, you have nothing to feel sorry about ok?"

"But..."

"Ah, _nothing_ ok?" I cut her off before she could continue.

"Ok." She sighed. "Are you ok though?"

"I'm fine. Nothing that Emmett waiting on me on hand and foot for a day can't solve." I grinned cheekily at my older Brother.

"Yeah, you wish Eddie." Emmett laughed back.

After Bella had been given the all clear and had signed all the paperwork we left. My parents heading home after making us promise that one of us would call if we needed anything, and to let them know how we were in the morning. It wasn't late, but it was well past dinner time when we arrived back at Emmett and Rose's house. Rose ordered some take out as both myself and Bella sat on their couch. Emmett reappeared with an ice pack for both my knee and shoulder.

"I need to call my Dad." Bella suddenly announced.

"Would you prefer one of us to do it?" Emmett asked.

"No it's ok. He may want to talk to you, well one of you though, if that's ok?"

"That's fine Baby." I replied.

Emmett handed her the phone, as we both watched her dial. She seemed nervous somehow. I wondered whether it was maybe because she was scared to tell her Dad, or whether it was because she knew he'd ask what had happened and she just didn't want to relive it. I watched her dial, chewing her bottom lip in what I had learnt was nerves.

"Hi Dad it's me... oh um, I'm at Emmett and Rose's place... no well... yeah Dad but... Dad... James found me." It was hard to get the gist of the conversation when I could only hear on side of it. "Dad... Dad stop... Yeah I'm ok." It was only a small lie. "I went out for ice cream."

I didn't know whether I should be mad at her or not for going out alone, even if it was only for ice cream. I had told her time and time again that if she wanted anything, anything at all, she should call. Seeing her chin trembling as she fought her tears quickly rid me of my anger however.

"I know Dad... I know, I'm sorry... I hadn't heard anything form him for weeks though... yeah... yeah ok." A stray tear ran down her cheek as she offered the phone into the air, gesturing for either myself or Emmett to take it.

"Hi Chief Swan, it's Emmett."

The moment Emmett started conversing with Bella's Dad, I drowned the conversation out and focused on Bella, who was silently crying beside me. She looked guilty as hell, and full of remorse. I reached over to her and pulled her into my side, giving her a gentle hug.

"Are you mad?" She suddenly asked.

"What? No! Why would I be mad?" I was stunned momentarily that she thought I was mad with her.

"Because had I not been so stupid, you wouldn't have been hurt having to help me."

"Bella, no!" Damn this girl sure knew how to lay guilt on herself. "Should you have gone out alone, no you shouldn't, regardless of how long it had been since his last contact. But I can understand why you did."

And I did, I really did. She had made no secret of how little she wanted any of us involved. She hated the idea that she was putting any of us in danger because of her. And I could empathize with her. I couldn't imagine what it was like to lose your independence suddenly, and have people constantly hover over you. The fact she was going to buy ice cream, something so simple, of course she wouldn't have thought she needed someone to walk her, or hell even collect it for her. Over the past few weeks, she had practically put herself on house arrest to save people having to 'babysit' her.

"If he hadn't gotten to you today, I have no doubt he would have gotten to you at some point, and in probably worse circumstances where you couldn't have gotten away from him, or when one of us weren't close by enough." I told her.

"I'm sorry you got hurt." She mumbled into my side.

"Shh, don't worry about it, I've had worse injuries due to Emmett, this is nothing." I only exaggerated a little. "Just out of curiosity though, how did you get away from him?"

"I um... well I kinda kneed him in a place where the sun don't shine, and then I hit him in the face with my grocery bag."

I couldn't help it, I let out a laugh the moment she said she hit him in the face with her grocery bag. It was simply the vision in my mind of her doing it, not the act itself. I imagined at the time, and possibly even now it wasn't very funny to her. To me, it simply showed how weak he really was that he had been injured enough by her and a grocery bag, that he had let her slip through his fingers.

I apologized for laughing, quickly following with an explanation for my laughter. When she saw it my way she did allow herself to see the funny side, before settling silently into my side again. Emmett was still talking to Charlie, though I wasn't really paying any attention.

Bella excused herself to use the bathroom, leaving me sat quietly, my leg resting on the coffee table, my knee surrounded by ice. I let my mind wander, rethinking the events of the evening. I fought against the thoughts of what if. What if I hadn't gotten there in time, what if she hadn't been able to get away from him. I knew without a doubt that those thoughts would kill me, if I allowed them through.

"Do you need any pain relief Edward?" Rose asked, as she brought the take out in, with a few cans of soda.

"No, I should be ok for a while. Thank you though." I replied sincerely. I could see the worry in my Sister in laws eyes.

"It should be me thanking you." She mumbled, though I barely heard it.

"What for?" I gestured for her to come sit beside me.

"If you hadn't gotten there when you did tonight Edward."

"Hey, hey shh. Don't think like that Rose, I did and it's over now."

I knew it was too late for me to stop her thinking these things. In reality, they had probably been in her mind constantly since the moment she learnt about James. Given her history of abusive relationships, she was probably more than well versed in that the what if's. Maybe that's was why she and Emmett had been so protective of her. They were both aware of the devastation James attacking Bella could cause.

"Edward? Can I ask you something?" She asked quietly, eyeing Emmett as though she was checking he wasn't going to be ending his conversation any time soon.

"Anything?"

"You're in love with her aren't you?"

**Dum dum dum! Ha ha, hmmm what will his answer be? Please leave me some love or hate, which ever you prefer, either is greatly appreciated :D**


	12. Lessons Learned

Disclaimer : Own nothing except the plot and any original characters, please don't steal them, it's not nice :D

_HA I'm on time for once lol. Ok so as usual I owe a massive thank you to my reviewers – **Cheermom13**, **Linz832**, **Nicole1962**, **Eeyore16**, **TeamEdwardTwilightFan** and last but certainly not least **Bandeforever16** – you guys are so amazing, thank you so much **:D :D :D :D**_

Chapter 12

_There's mistakes that I have made,  
Some chances I just threw away,  
Some roads,  
I never should have taken,  
Been some signs I didn't see,  
Hearts that I hurt needlessly,  
Some wounds,  
That I wish I could have one more chance to mend,  
But it don't make no difference,  
The past can't be rewritten,  
You get the life you're given,  
Oh, some pages turned,  
Some bridges burned,  
But there were,  
Lessons learned._

_Carrie Underwood - Lessons learned_

After arriving at Emmett and Rose's, and we had settled in, we sat around the living room eating the take out Rose had ordered, as we listened to Emmett retell the conversation he had, had with my Dad. Typical Charlie in every way, wanting to know everything that had happened, even though I knew he would be ringing the police station himself and finding out further information first-hand.

I couldn't blame my Dad for worrying about me, or even being mad at me for going out alone. It was a stupid decision on my behalf, and one I did ultimately regret, but he just didn't see it from my point of view. He never would. I knew the moment I handed the phone to Emmett, that the next time I saw him, I would get the lecture of a lifetime about keeping safe. Hell I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't try and talk me into moving back to Forks, or at the least Port Angeles. The closer to him the better in his eyes.

After eating, Emmett asked me to try and explain to them exactly what happened up until the moment I got him on the phone. I managed to talk my way through everything, finding telling them much easier than I imagined. Maybe it was because I felt safe with them, and though I knew they would be mad to some degree, they wouldn't hold it against me.

After hearing my side, Rose declared she and Emmett would go and get me some ice cream, regardless of my arguments against them going out again. I did still have a craving for it, but it wasn't like I would die without. But in Rose's eyes, if I wanted something, I was going to get it. I quickly learnt that I would be withholding any further cravings I had from her if we didn't actually have any of the product in the vicinity.

While they were gone, Edward tried to make me feel comfortable, as though there was no particular reason that we were here, other than just wanting to hang out. He against my protests got up and slipped a film in, ready for when Em and Rose got back, in the mean time flipping idly through the channels, only stopping momentarily when something caught his interest.

For the remainder of the evening, we sat eating ice cream and watching cool runnings, which I learnt had been one of Edwards favourite films growing up. Admittedly I had seen it many times too, even being able to speak each line along with the actors.

Sleep didn't come easy for me that night. Between the strange surroundings, and the events of the day, I tossed and turned until I finally fell into sleep. It was however anything but restful. Dreams quickly turned to nightmares, which inevitably had me waking up panting, and sweating. Fearing what else my subconscious may drag up for me, I gave up on sleep, and crept my way down the stairs, wrapping myself up on the sofa with a blanket, as I channel surfed.

I was nearing the end of an episode of Brothers and Sisters when I heard a noise. Muting the TV, I listened nervously for the noise again. I was like a coiled spring, just waiting to explode. My eyes wide, I stared toward the doorway, my brain automatically conjuring up the worst scenarios.

Imagine my relief when Rose appeared, wrapped in her own blanket. She smiled softly at me, as though she knew she had just scared the crap out of me. She padded her way across the room, sitting next to me, and wrapping her arms around me comfortingly.

"Sorry if I woke you!" I whispered, cuddling up closer to her.

Though she was of similar age to myself, her arms felt motherly. I felt safe and protected with her. Maybe Emmett had been right all those months ago, Rose was born to be a Mother. Sure she sometimes came across as a bitch, but that was only to those who didn't know her. In the time I had spent with her, there wasn't anything I didn't like about her, she was caring, loving, protective. Everything a Mom should be, and I knew she would be fantastic.

"You didn't, I just couldn't settle, and Emmett's snoring like a freight train." She chuckled.

After the current episode ended, a marathon of Happy Days started. It had been years since I had watched this show. It had been part of my routine really. Growing up, we had sat around my Gran's living room watching it, though I was too young to really understand most of it, but it didn't matter. It wasn't long after the re-runs of it had been removed from the TV schedule, that my Gran had passed away. Hearing the music always brought back the happy memories though.

"Rosie, Bella, wakey wakey." A deep voice sung.

I forced my eyes open only to come face to face with the bear that is Emmett. Taking in my surroundings, I realized I was still in their living room, having clearly never made it back to bed. I was leaning against Rose' shoulder, as she was with me. The TV was now showing home shopping commercials before the channel came back on air. The last thing I could remember was sitting and watching Happy Days with Rose.

Sunlight was streaming in through the now open drapes, lighting the room with a soft glow. I could smell bacon and my stomach growled eagerly. Rose stirred slightly beside me, but showed no immediate signs of getting up. My stomach growled loudly again as my taste buds went into overdrive. Emmett let out a laugh, and helped me to get up from under the slight weight of Rose.

I headed straight for the kitchen, finding Edward stood by the stove cooking up a storm. His had his back to me, though it was still one of the best sights first thing in a morning. He was wearing some of Emmett sweats, though they were slightly too big on him. His hair was mussed up, pointing in every which direction. The sunlight that shone through the window accentuated the natural bronze highlights in his mane. I was sure hairdressers around the world would kill to be able to replicate the colour.

I found myself hoping that the particular Cullen gene that was responsible for his hair, was passed along to the baby I would eventually carry for Emmett and Rose. It was an odd thought considering it wasn't going to be Edward's child or my child. The idea scared me a little. Maybe I was becoming a little too invested in this whole thing. I should be wanting the baby to look like a replica of Em or Rose, not of Edward.

I cleared my throat as I sat on the stool beside the counter. He turned immediately, smiling that panty dropping crooked smile, that made my insides twist with excitement.

"Morning. Late night was it?"

"Something like that," I replied, a little sheepishly.

Who would want to admit that they couldn't sleep because of a stupid nightmare. I certainly didn't. Everyone already thought of me as weak, I didn't really want further information out there to prove it.

"I couldn't sleep, so instead of tossing and turning, I just got up. Rose got up a little later, and we must have fallen asleep watching Happy Days,"

"Oh man, Alice will kill you if she finds out you and Rose were sat watching Happy Days. She had a huge thing for Chachi growing up."

"He was kinda cute though." I argued.

"Damn, not you too!" Emmett bellowed as he and Rose walked into the kitchen.

After debating all the characters from the show, Edward served us all breakfast. He had made an array of different things, and I couldn't help myself from trying a bit of everything. His chocolate chip pancakes were my favourite, and I nearly gave in and asked him to make more, until I actually realized how much I had eaten, and how full I really was.

As I got up to begin clearing the breakfast dishes, I was met with a chorus of refusals. I tried arguing that it was fine, that Edward had cooked, therefore it was only right that I helped clean. Emmett however disagreed strongly, and practically shoved me out of the kitchen, telling me over and over that guests didn't clean.

"So why the hell do I have to?" Edward joked, folding his arms across his chest like a petulant child.

"Because _Eddie_, you aren't a guest, you're family." Emmett laughed.

Before I could witness a play fight break out between the two, Rose ushered me upstairs to get dressed, telling me if there was anything she had forgotten to grab for me the day before, to just shout as she was sure she would most likely have whatever it was I needed.

I disappeared into the guest room I had been given the night before, finding my bag exactly where Rose had told me she had left it. I grabbed my clothes from it, and headed across the hall to the bathroom. Stripping down, I noticed the deep purple bruises on my arms from where James had held me against the wall. Each of his fingers were clear on my skin. It was a stark reminder of how close I came to being much more seriously hurt.

Twisting round to look at my back, there were two matching bruises on my shoulder blades. Another product of the force James had held me against the wall. I was grateful though that these, and the cut on my head were the worst of my injuries. If it hadn't been for Edward arriving when he did...

I quickly put an end to that train of thoughts. I knew the moment I went down that avenue, I would turn into a wreck, and I couldn't and wouldn't allow myself to do that here. I had to wait to fall apart for when I was alone.

I showered quickly, hating that I couldn't wash my hair for three days. The doctor had warned me that was the minimum amount of time I had to keep the area dry. I wanted desperately wash the dried blood from my hair, but at the same time, my head was still tender, and the idea of having something even as gentle as water trickle over it, was not a nice one. Rose had offered to fashion my hair somehow to cover the cut, but I knew I wouldn't be able to bare it.

As I was leaving the bathroom, Edward was just heading into his own room. He smiled at me, a warm genuine smile. I thanked the heavens that I had thought on earlier and taken clothes into the bathroom with me. Having Edward see me wrapped in just a towel would be highly embarrassing.

"I'm just going to take a quick shower, and then we need to go and give our statements, is that ok?" He asked me, his voice itching with concern.

"Um, yeah sure. I guess I'll call my Dad, he said he wanted to be there."

Having to repeat the whole experience was not a welcome thought, but I knew it needed to be done. Hell seeing my Dad right now wasn't a pleasant thought, he had been pissed last night when I had called him. I knew he wasn't necessarily pissed at me, just at the situation, and the fact that I was his little girl. He had every right to be scared for me. And I guess every right to lecture me, I just hoped it wasn't too drawn out a lecture, my head ached, and I really just wanted to forget.

"Um, I think Emmett's called him already. He said something about your Dad asking him to let him know when we were going to head down there, last night."

"Ok, thanks."

Honestly, I didn't know how to feel about my Dad being in cahoots with Emmett. He had already asked me to let him know, and I had agreed. Did he not trust me? I was utterly confused as to how I should feel. I felt slight betrayal by my Dad. I know I hadn't always deserved his trust, but I at least expected him to trust me in this situation. Was this his payback for not listening to him about James and going out even though he had lectured me over and over in the past few weeks about keeping myself safe.

I headed back down the stairs, finding only Rose sat in the living room, looking a little pale. I asked her if she was ok, and she just said that she was tired. I found it a little odd, but she excused it by saying she hadn't been sleeping too great recently, putting it down to stress. I hated that I was maybe a cause of that stress, but she immediately saw through me, and told me it was mostly work related stress, since she was trying to organise someone to help lighten the work load form her shoulders gradually, so that hopefully once the baby came along, she would be able to stay home most of the time. It was nice to know that she was preparing herself now, and I just prayed that I got pregnant soon.

Edward appeared shortly after, asking if I was ready. I desperately wanted to say no, and go hide in my room, but I sighed and nodded. I got up from the couch, telling Rose I would see her later, agreeing to her suggestion that we have a girls day with Alice tomorrow, since she would most likely be jealous of the fact I was staying with them for a few days.

The journey to the police station was quiet. Edward thankfully didn't try to force any conversations, seemingly content to sit in silence with me. No matter what we were doing together, whether we were talking or silent, I never felt uncomfortable in his presence. Sure there were awkward moments, but I was convinced they were mostly because I embarrassed easily, with my stupid blush giving away my every indecent thought about him.

My Dad was waiting out front the moment we pulled up. His face visibly relaxed when he noticed Edward exit the car. Edward got to my door before I had even unhooked my seatbelt, and helped me from the car. I forced a smile his way, feeling more nervous now I was actually here. He lead the way over to my Dad, his hand never once leaving the small of my back. His touch calmed me, he was like my own personal security blanket.

"Hi baby girl, are you ok?" My Dad asked, giving me a brief hug, before holding my face in my hands.

He was looking in my eyes, trying to spot any lie a mile off. I was such a bad liar, which I suppose was both a good and bad thing. Bad at times like this when all I wanted was to ease my Dad's worries, and I was unable to fully. I nodded, hoping my eyes didn't give too much away.

I hated that I was causing my Dad undue stress. He was never someone who easily expressed his emotions, and he certainly didn't like burdening people with his problems, so I knew anything he was feeling would remain bottled up inside. I was scared that one day he would end up having a heart attack from the amount of pressure he kept on himself. I was scared of losing him.

Knowing this, was one of the main reasons I never told him about the drugs and James. Other than him going out to murder James, the worry he would have over me, and my subsequent health because of the drugs, with the addition of me being so far away from home on top of everything else he had been trying to deal with at the time, I was sure would have pushed him way beyond his limit.

"Edward." My Dad turned to him, offering him his hand. "Thank you son."

"There's no need sir." Edward replied politely.

"How are you?" My Dad asked concerned as he spotted the cut on Edwards cheek.

"I'm fine sir, nothing that won't heal. I'm just sorry I didn't do more damage to him than I did." He replied with a grimace.

I let out a laugh. Edward had just declared that he had wanted to harm James further to a Chief of Police. If he realized what he had said, he showed no sign of it. In fact he didn't seem at all fazed by my Dad standing before him in his Police uniform. They both looked at me as though I had lost my mind, neither clearly having noticed what I had. I shook my head before asking if we should go in.

We were barely waiting five minutes in the reception area before an officer came to collect us, taking us into an interview room. The officer left us after having asked if we would like a drink or anything. My Dad looked completely at home sat here, which I guess was to be expected, Edward too looked relaxed, whilst I just felt on edge.

Another officer came back in with the original, both shaking our hands and introducing themselves, before setting paper work down on the table before them. It struck me at how formal this all felt. I had seen my Dad do this on a few occasions, and he had told me before that most of the papers taken in were of little consequence, they were just props used to intimidate the witness or culprit.

I didn't know why the felt the need to intimidate me, or Edward for that matter, we hadn't done anything wrong. We were simply there to give our statements regarding yesterdays events. James was the guilty party here, not us. Regardless of why they were doing it though, it was without a doubt working.

"Ok gentlemen, if we could just ask you to step outside whilst we take Miss. Swans statement, then we shall take yours Mr. Cullen." The older of the two officers, whom I remembered had introduced himself as Detective Caius, told us.

A stab of panic swept through me. I didn't want to be left in here with them on my own. It was bad enough having to relive the whole thing again as it was, without having to be made feel reprehensible by them at the same time. I had nothing to be ashamed of, everything I had done to James was I pure self defence.

"Like hell we need to leave. This isn't a questioning, she hasn't been charged with anything, she's hear to give you a _truthful_ run down of events." My Dad argued.

Both officers sat back stunned. Clearly neither had been paying attention to the uniform my Dad had been wearing, and the fact he knew what he was talking about. Regardless of the fact he policed a small town, and they, a big city, I would like to bet he out ranked them many times over.

"My apologies Mr..." Detective Caius stuttered.

"Chief Swan." My Dad replied.

The officers eyes practically bugged out of his head upon hearing my Dad's title. If we hadn't been in the situation we currently were, I would have burst into laughter at there now daunted expressions. I heard Edward clear his throat beside me, and I wondered idly if it was his way of hiding his amusement.

"My apologies Chief Swan, we just assumed Miss Swan would prefer to do this in privacy." He responded, looking straight at me, obviously wanting my permission to continue.

"No, it's fine that they're here." I nodded my head in agreement.

"Ok Miss Swan, from reading files we obtained from Phoenix, I understand that you were in a relationship with James Laurent whilst you were studying at university there, yes?"

"Yes sir."

"And after around six months of dating you broke up, correct?"

I nodded slowly, I couldn't understand why he was asking all of these questions. What happened in Phoenix was in the past, I was only concerned with what had been happening recently in regards to James.

I most scared that his next question would bring up the drugs. I still hadn't told my Dad the whole truth about what had happened between us in Phoenix and I wasn't about to broach that subject here of all places. Especially considering James was in custody somewhere here, in this building.

"And it wasn't an amicable separation was it?" I shook my head no. "Right ok, I don't think we need to rehash everything regarding Phoenix, we have the background on file. I understand that a few weeks ago you filed a report that after an altercation in a bar... 'Joe's bar' to be exact, he began to send you mildly threatening text messages."

"Yes sir."

"Ok, can you fill me in on the happenings, between them and the altercation yesterday?"

"Um, I've been receiving on average one text message a day, always from an untraceable number, most just saying similar things like to do with revenge. I kept them all." My throat suddenly felt so dry.

With shaking hands I reached in my pocket for my cell, opening my my messages application and the folder I had saved all the messages I had received in. I gently nudged the cell toward them across the table.

"Just over a week ago I was out with a friend in a wine bar. We had never been before, but as we were leaving I got another message telling me to enjoy myself while I could. It was so eerie like he could actually see me, knew what I was doing. My friend called her husband to come and collect us, and since then I've been really careful, not going anywhere alone, making sure I told people where I was going. All the things I was advised to do."

"And then what?"

"That was it, I didn't receive anything else from him since then. I just assumed he had seen me not reacting as it were, and gotten bored. Up until yesterday I continued being careful though."

"So why not yesterday?" He asked in such a way I felt like I was a child being chastised. I cringed under his scrutiny.

"I er, I was having a bad day and decided to go home early from work. My friend who I work with was going to come with me, but I promised I would call her as soon as I got in, which I did." I felt oddly proud at that part, it was just such a shame the rest was such a stupid mistake. "I spent the rest of the afternoon tidying my apartment, and by the time I finished, I had a craving for some ice cream, so I went."

"Went where Miss Swan?"

"The grocery store a few blocks away." I informed him. "I know what you think, after everything, I still chose to go out without someone, but I hadn't heard from James for nearly two weeks, I was going four blocks away."

"I'm not here to judge Miss Swan."

_Yeah right_, I thought. Not here to judge, is that why they kept looking at me as though I was some stupid naïve little girl, who should have know better.

"So you went to the grocery store, then what happened?"

Over the course for the following thirty minutes, I told the officers everything that had happened from the time I left the grocery store, to when Edward had entered the bathroom to me. I hated having to relive everything, having to explain how I was feeling at the time, what I was thinking, why I had done certain things rather than something else. It all felt like I was on trial. I could feel the tension coming off my Dad in waves. His hands continued clenching into tight fists before relaxing, only to tense right back up only seconds later.

I wished upon wish that he wasn't sat here, listening to my mistakes, my weaknesses. He would have been far better off in Forks, none the wiser, blindly assuming that his daughter was perfectly fine and safe. Instead I knew he was sitting here, blaming himself for not being able to protect me, for not sheltering me better from this.

This was where me and my Dad were so alike. We both shouldered the blame, even for things that neither of us had no control over. Like I blamed myself right now for bringing James into our lives, for not being strong enough to deal with him on my own. My Dad was blaming himself for letting me go to Phoenix in the first place, for not pressing the situation more when I had called from Forks to let him know what was going on, for not using his position to do more when I had called him a few weeks ago when James had reappeared.

If only he would understand that all of this was in noway his fault. I was the one who chose to go to Phoenix, the one who fought tooth and nail to go. The one who wasn't more forth coming with the details of the situation between me and James when we were in Phoenix. Maybe if I had been truthful with him, he may have been able to do more to prevent this, but I hadn't.

When the officers asked if it would be ok if they could take some pictures of both of our injuries, I nodded, praying that in this instance my Dad would leave the room. I really didn't want him to see the bruises. Both Edward and I agreed, that after all the statements had been taken, we would be taken to a separate room where the photographer would take the pictures.

Once I had finished my statement, the officers thanked me, before moving onto Edward. Both myself and my Dad asked him if he wanted us to leave, but he said he was ok with whatever we decided. As much as I didn't want to know what had transpired between he and James whilst I had been cowering in the bathroom, I couldn't help but feel the need to know. My Dad looked as though he needed to know every single detail, wishing it had been him instead.

I on the other hand was astonished at exactly what this person had done for me. He could have been seriously hurt, if not killed, to protect me. Me, someone he barely knew, whom he had spent limited time with, me, whom yes I suppose we were friends, but it was a big risk for him considering our current relationship. I was in awe at his selflessness.

Edward's statement was filled with questions by the officers. Far more evasive questions that I had been, but I suppose since he had injured James, they I guess needed to figure out whether it truly had been self defence. Maybe James had tried to insinuate that he was the victim. At times I felt like the officers were accusing Edward, but if it bothered him, he didn't show it.

Throughout he kept his cool. Never once did his voice waiver, or show he was unhinged by the process. Admittedly he had no reason to feel guilty, none what so ever, but I was amazed by him. Even my Dad, hearing everything he was hearing, was struggling to keep his cool, and my Dad very rarely lost his temper... ever.

Thankfully when it came time to have pictures taken, both Edward and I were asked to go together, leaving my Dad sipping a cup of coffee back in the interview room. I watched as Edward had a photo of his cheek taken, since that was the only really visible injury he had. Next it was my turn. I couldn't bare to look at Edward as I slipped my sweater off, leaving me in just my camisole. The large hand shaped bruises on my upper arms standing out in stark contrast to my pale skin. I felt sure I heard a growl emit from Edward, but I was still too ashamed to look his way, turning around the instant I was asked to so the photographer could see my shoulders.

The moment he announced he was finished, he stepped out of the room, leaving only me and Edward. My cheeks burned with embarrassment, as I made a grab for my sweater. I had just gotten my lower arms in the sleeves, when Edward made a grab for the sweater, pausing my movements. With his free hand, he gently ran his finger over the bruise on my upper arm. His face looked pained, and mad all at once.

"Are you in pain?" He asked, his tone clipped slightly.

It was like he was annoyed at me, but why? What had I done to cause such a reaction in him? Was it finally hitting home exactly what I had dragged him into? I just didn't know, and not knowing was worrying. I didn't want Edward to hate me, but I honesty couldn't say I blamed him. He probably had such a quiet easy life before I stepped into it.

"I'm fine." I managed to mutter.

He pursed his lips at my response, like he was trying to work out how truthful I was. His eyes still held a fire of anger, that I still couldn't figure out the direction it was aimed at, and for what exactly. I quickly finished pulling my sweater on, hoping that if he couldn't see the bruises the anger may dissipate once the evidence of what had happened had been removed from sight.

I had barely gotten my head through the collar, when he grabbed me into a hug, tightening his arms securely around me. The feeling of being in his arms was indescribable, I felt safe, protected from everything when I was with him, but never more so than when he held me like this. I grasped onto him, never wanting to let go, never wanting to come out of my sanctuary that was now his arms.

What I didn't understand though was why one minute he was angry with me, then the next he was hugging me, holding me tight as though both of our lives depended on it. Maybe it was his way of an apology, but exactly what was he apologizing for?

Edward, t put it quite simply, sent me into a tailspin. I was never quite knew where I stood with him. He seemed to flit from one emotion to the next, it was like being on a roller coaster with him. One of which admittedly I would board again and again with him, just to be close to him, but still, that wasn't the point.

I wasn't sure over the course of the next nine or so months, I could cope with the whiplash caused by his every changing moods. Rosalie and Emmett were insisting that I 'become' a part of their family while ever I was linked with them, and I had stupidly agreed, though honestly it wasn't like you could even consider saying no to Emmett. Now I was beginning to regret that decision.

As expected, Edward backed out of the hug, not looking at me, before telling me that we should get back to my Dad. He did however take my hand and lead the way, opening each door for me, and pulling out my chair as I sat back down next to my Dad. He looked at me, in only a way Fathers can I guess, trying to ask me silently if I was ok. I nodded slightly, as we all turned out attention to the officers in the room, awaiting to be told what the next step was.

I don't think anything could have prepared me for what I was told. James was wanted in regards to an armed robbery in Portland. They told us they couldn't give us many details, but it would be unlikely we would be needed in court since ours were only minor charges compared.

It all went over my head though. The moment they mentioned armed robbery, images of James having a gun on him, watching me, coming after me. Why hadn't anyone told us how dangerous he was all those weeks ago when I filed the complaint about his harassment. The thought of how much danger I was in, and how much I had put Edward and everyone else in, made me feel sick.

I suddenly felt so overwhelmed. I had known James was, well... dangerous, just not the gun wielding kind of dangerous. Every single moment I was with him, around him... just the thought of someone I had once thought I knew so well threatening to kill someone. It sent a cold shiver through me.

"Bella?" Edward was looking at me carefully.

"Baby, are you ok?" My Dad asked, obviously noticing the fierceness of my shaking hand as I pushed my hair away from my face.

"He could... could have..." I stuttered over my words.

"Don't think..." My Dad began to tell me.

"Edward... he... he could have." Tears began pouring down my cheeks.

"He didn't though." Edward told me firmly, taking one hand and holding it between his own.

I was so mad. Mad at myself for putting completely innocent people in his path. At any point he could have chosen to use his gun on me, or any of them, and it would have been my fault. Everyone thought I was doing this great thing for Emmett and Rosalie, but really all I was doing was bringing stress, and danger and a mad man into their lives. I felt so guilty for causing so much upheaval in everyone's lives. They didn't deserve it.

"Baby, now you listen to me." My Dad's voice was stern, but his eyes were soft, telling me he was in no way mad with me. "You _have_ to stop thinking about what could have happened. A million and one things could have, and you would not have been to blame for a single one of them. Do you hear my Isabella Marie."

I looked my Dad in the eye, I could see he was also trying his hardest to not let the what if's get to him. He was trying so hard to not imagine losing me. Like me, he couldn't survive losing me. We had to be strong for each other. He more than anyone, would have a better idea of the eventualities of each scenario, but he was right, we had to try and forget them, because they, would without a doubt would eat us alive.

We each signed our statements before we were finally able to leave. The three of us stood in the parking lot beside the two cars. My Dad looked so torn as to whether he wanted to just make a grab for me and throw me in the cruiser. If I was honest, a part of me wanted him to. In my mind, there was no-where safer than being with my Dad. Right from being a little girl, he had always been my hero, albeit when I had grown up and he had grounded me. Then he was my captor.

"Thank you for coming Dad." I leapt forward into his arms, standing on my tip toes as I hugged him fiercely. "Drive carefully." I whispered as I stepped back.

I watched my Dad shake Edward's hand and share a few quietly spoken words, before stepping into his cruiser. My heart ached watching him drive away, pressing his fingers to his lips, then extending his hand toward the window, before he drove away.

The moment he was out of sight, I felt my walls begin to crumble. The whole time I had been in my Dad's presence, I had fought the urge to break down, knowing I would only worry him further. He didn't need the addition stress, or the blame, I knew he would place upon himself. I could already see it in his eyes, that he blamed himself for not doing more to put James behind bars earlier. It was pointless though, he had done all he could. It was my own stupid fault.

I felt two arms wrap around me from behind, pulling me closer to him. I felt better for his presence, and wasn't sure how I would have gotten through most of this without him. Hell if it hadn't been _for_ him, I might not be here to tell the tale.

"Sorry," I apologized, reaching up and swiping away my tears, angry with myself.

"Don't be, you've have a lot to deal with. Anyone would feel the same."

He gave me a squeeze, before asking if I was ready to head back to Rosalie and Emmett's in all honesty, I wanted to go home, and hide from the world, wallow in my guilt. I didn't want to see the fear in their eyes when they learnt exactly how much danger I had put them and their family, in over the past few weeks. I wanted to tell him no, and have him drop me off at a local hotel, but I couldn't find the words, instead I just stood in front of him, frozen.

"Bella?" Edward's voice was full of concern at my troubled form. "Baby, what's wrong?" His hands ran up and down my upper arms soothingly.

"I... I can't." I mumbled.

"Can't what?"

"Go back to Emmett and Rose's." I muttered.

"Why?" He asked. "Bella?" He lifted my chin with his finger, making me look him in the eye. His eyes were full of concern.

"Didn't you hear that officer. You of all people Edward should hate me right now. I put you're whole family in danger. He could have shot any one of you. I've brought nothing but trouble to you all."

"Bella. No."

He placed his warm hands on my cheeks, forcing me to keep eye contact with him. The air between us thick with tension. I could feel my blush making it's way automatically up my neck, and knew it would only be moments until my cheeks were tinged pink.

"We don't hate you. How could we?" I opened my mouth to respond, but he silenced me with a raised eyebrow. "You are not responsible for James' actions, you couldn't have known how dangerous he was. Any one of us might be good friends with some gun wielding lunatic without knowing it."

"But..."

"No. You didn't know Bella." He told me sternly. "You can't get rid of us that easily." He told me, his eyes full of conviction, it was hard not to believe him. "Ok?"

"Ok." I responded meekly.

I knew I would always carry some guilt regarding the situation with James, and I wish beyond wish that I could redo some things, but I couldn't. The sensible side of my brain knew that I had to learn from this and move on, Edward was right. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined James to be as dangerous as he clearly was. I just had to hope Edward was right about his siblings.

**Whoa, so this again hasn't gone quite to plan, but hopefully you've still enjoyed it. Please, please, please review :D**


	13. Count on me

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there :p

_Right firstly, check out my profile for the link to the image album for this story, I've just updated it so there's some new piccy's there for you guys :D_

_And secondly, another huge thank you to my reviewers – **Linz832**, **Tinksauble** x12,** RikiMuniz** x2, **Teamedwardtwilightfan** and **Bandeforever16** – thank you so much guys, I really do appreciate you taking the time to review for me **:D:D:D:D**_

Chapter 13

_Count on me through thick and thin  
A friendship that will never end  
When you are weak, I will be strong  
Helping you to carry on  
Call on me, I will be there  
Don't be afraid  
Please believe me when I say  
Count on..._

_Count on me - Whitney Houston & CeCe Winans_

Thankfully when Edward and I arrived back at Em and Rose's house, they were no where to be found. I had mixed feelings on their lack of presence. Whilst part of me was appreciative of the space I needed to get my thoughts together and prepare, I also just wanted to get it over with, out of the way as quickly as possible. Like ripping of a band aid.

Edward had responded to the news so calmly, I just hoped beyond hope that the rest of his family remained as calm over it. I absolutely hated the idea of them being angry, or even disappointed with me. After only a few weeks, I was already so in love with this family, the idea of not being around them killed me.

Just thinking about not being around them after this baby was born, it literally made my heart ache. I hadn't grown up with a big family, always wishing I had been a part of one. And now I was, regardless for how long, and I loved it. It was like a huge part of my life, was now filled.

When I had agreed to be Emmett and Rose's surrogate, I had never expected their family to accept me right along with them, but they had. It scared me, how I was going to deal with walking away at the end. I thought I had always prepared myself well to walk away, but now I was beginning to realize how difficult it was actually going to be. I wasn't even sure it was going to be possible.

Edward broke my train of thought by asking if I wanted some lunch. I nodded my head, realizing for the first time how hungry I truly was. I had barely touched breakfast, and after hours of sitting around the police station, I was now famished.

I watched Edward with fascination as he worked in the kitchen, making us each a sandwich, asking every so often if I wanted any of whichever ingredient he pulled from the refrigerator. Just being with him like this, felt so natural, as though we had known each other for years. We rarely ran out of things to say, and when we did have quiet moments, they weren't awkward, quite the opposite.

"Please don't be nervous about telling Emmett and Rosalie, Bella."

I knew I should be freaked out that he always seemed to know what was bothering me, but I couldn't. Right from the word go, I had always felt as though he could read my mind. I knew I was pretty easy to read, my Gran had always called me her open book, but surely Edward didn't know me well enough to read me quite so easily.

"I promise you, they won't be mad."

"I wouldn't blame them if they were."

"You have to stop with this Bella. When are you going to believe it isn't your fault?"

"I know, I know. It's just... I can't help but think, that night in the bar, he could easily have pulled a gun out on me... on you." Just thinking about what could have been sent shivers down my spine. "It scares me so much Edward, and I can't stop thinking about it..." I felt tears pricking my eyes.

Edward placed the two plated sandwiches on the breakfast bar in front of me, as he walked around and sat on the stool beside me, twisting my stool so I faced him. He leant forward, taking my hands in his own, waiting for me to get everything out.

"I mean what if he gets out of these charges, or when he gets out of prison, what then? He might not just come after me, it might be you, or Em or Rose, or even my Dad. I can't live with knowing that someone I care about might get hurt because of me. I've already lost too much, I can't... I can't lose any more."

Edward quickly stood and enveloped my sobbing form in his arms, not saying a word, just rocking me soothingly back and forth. I gripped onto him as though he was my life raft in a stormy sea, scared of losing my grip and sinking with the tides of emotion that seemed to be sweeping through me.

"Baby, I can't promise that something bad won't ever happen to any of us, no-one has that power, but I can promise you, that I won't ever let James hurt you again."

I wanted badly to believe him, but how could I. He wouldn't always be around. He was going to be in my life, a year tops, and then what. Yes my lack of affiliation would lead James away from Edward and his family, but certainly not away from my Dad.

"Chances of James getting out of the current charges Bella, are slim to none, but even if he did, there are other charges against him. And I'm pretty sure that you or your Dad would be contacted if and when he was let out. He isn't worth worrying over Baby, I promise."

I nodded my head against his chest, trying to make myself a memo to call my Dad and check for sure. I needed to know what would happen in the eventuality of James being released. If he wanted revenge for being thrown out of college, then surely revenge for being thrown into prison would be ten times worse. It wasn't a risk I was too willing to take. There was more than my life that could be affected by him.

Once I had calmed enough, Edward sat back down, taking one of my hands in his own, holding it tightly as we both ate, seeming to understand my need to be close. I nibbled on the sandwich he had made, not wanting to be impolite, but I had lost my appetite the moment my emotions had gotten the better of me.

I could see him watching me with concern out of the corner of his eye, but he didn't say anything, just continued holding my hands, rubbing soothing circles on my inner wrist with his thumb. It had a strange calming affect, that in any other circumstances would have put me to sleep. Though I felt tired, sleep was the last thing on my mind right now.

"I smell food." Came Emmett's booming voice, startling my from my haze.

Immediately my heart leapt to my throat, kicking into overdrive. I tried taking some calming breaths, hoping Edward was right about his Brother and Sister in law. Edward gave my hand a squeeze, obviously picking up on my uncertainty, or maybe he could physically feel my pulse sky rocket.

"Emmett, always thinking with your stomach." Rose sighed playfully as they both entered the kitchen. "Hey guys, how'd it go this morning? We popped to your apartment Bella to organise for the door to be fixed and stuff, so while we were there, I picked up a few more clothes for you, I hope you don't mind."

"No, no thank you." I managed to force myself to say.

"Bella... Bella what's wrong?" Rose immediately stopped her movement around the kitchen and looked at me. I couldn't return the favour.

"We've ah... we've had quite the morning. I think maybe we should go sit down." Edward explained for me.

Edward pulled me behind him as we all headed into the living room. He pulled into the seat beside him, Rose sat next to me on the seat that cornered my own. I could feel both hers and Emmett's gazes look from me to Edward and back again. I felt unnerved by their gazes, I knew they were trying to wait patiently for me to begin, I just wasn't sure where to.

"Ok, so which one of you is going to clue us in?" Emmett's patience clearly had run too thin.

I looked to Edward, hoping he would understand the look I was trying to convey to him. I needed him to help me tell them. If anyone knew how to keep them calm, he did. If he could just start me off, then I might be able to just think, get my thoughts in line, but for now, they just all felt muddled inside my head, in an order that would make no sense what so ever.

"Ah, well when we were down at the police station, the officers that took our statements, well they told us some stuff about James..." Edward began, it sounded so easy for him.

"I am so sorry you guys, if I had known, I would never have... I mean I would have..." I couldn't keep myself from apologizing.

Edward took my had in his, and I immediately felt a wave of calm wash over me, silencing me. It was then I realized my outburst had probably freaked them out more than they needed to be.

"What she means is, well James... before we had the 'incident' in the bar, he was involved in an armed robbery in Portland. The officers couldn't give us many details, but hopefully we won't have to testify, they'll just use our statements as further evidence in the armed robbery case."

Ok, so actually telling them seemed a lot easier than I had been thinking. Granted I doubt I would have managed to get the words out quite so calmly, or as informative, but still, it took less than a few sentences. A few sentences that even now, scared me.

"Jesus..." Emmett hissed out slowly.

I could feel my heart pick up it's pace, fear slowly overtaking me. This was the moment I had been dreading, the moment where they told me in no uncertain terms to get out of their lives, to leave them alone. They didn't need the additional stress of having a lunatic like James, in their lives. They wanted a nice, quiet family life, where they could sit around the table every night, having dinner, telling each other about their days. Spend Sunday mornings lazing around in bed, watching cartoons, before getting up and going to spend the rest of their day in the park, or playing soccer in the garden. Not once had they signed up for fearing for their lives because of mad gunman who wanted their surrogate dead.

The silence was deafening. I could bear to look at any of them, my gaze focused entirely on my hands that were twisting nervously in my lap. I was waiting for an outburst of anger, trying to prepare myself for the order to get out of their home. I wouldn't get my things, I didn't have much here anyway, and what I did have, could be replaced. No I would walk straight out their door, out of their lives.

"And he... yesterday?" Rose stuttered, struggling to find her words.

"We don't know. It could be likely." Edward answered.

Any second, the moment the realization hit them, the hatred for me would begin. Maybe it would be better if I left without being told to. As selfish as it was, not having to hear their words would be better. I didn't want my last memory of them to be one of them hating me, wishing they had never met me.

Before my mind had really processed the thought, I was on my feet, walking straight for the door, pulling my hand away from Edward's grasp. I managed to mutter a heartfelt apology before exiting the room, stumbling as fast as possible for the door.

"Baby... what the hell?" Edward's strong arms gripped my waist, pulling me back into his chest.

"Please Edward... please just let me go." I didn't have the energy to fight him.

I felt defeated. James had ruined my life just like he had told me he would. It hadn't been the way he planned, but regardless, he had succeeded. He had taken away something I hadn't even realized I had gained. It was the same old saying, you don't know what you've got till it's gone.

Edward didn't say another word to me, he simply spun me in his arms, and held me close to him, refusing to let go, when I had initially struggled slightly to pull away.

"Bella?" I heard Rose speak, her voice filled with tears.

Edward turned us to face them a little, as I lifted my head from his chest so I could see both Rose and Emmett. Both looked heartbroken. It killed me to know I was the reason for their pain.

"I'm so... sorry. I never..." Tears poured down my cheeks.

"B, we don't care. We don't care about James. We care about _you_." Emmett told me, sincerity pouring from his words.

"How can..."

"Because unless you're about to tell us that you knew James was a gun carrying crazy, this isn't your fault." Emmett interrupted me.

Rose, with tears pooling in her eyes, strode forward, and pulled me from Edward's arms, hugging me tightly, her tears finally overflowing. She held me close for a few moments, before holding me to her side a she lead us back to the living room. We sat close to each other on the sofa, neither Edward or Emmett following after us.

We sat crying for a few moments, just letting each other shed the emotions that had built so quickly in such a small amount of time. It was an odd reaction really, but one I had no doubt would make us feel better once we were through. My Gran had always said that sometimes the best way to get something or someone out of your system was to have a good cry. And though I hated shedding tears over someone like James, I was hoping my Gran's words would ring true.

"Bella, how could you possibly think we could blame you for anything he did, or could do?" Rose practically whispered.

"I just... I know that if you hadn't ever met me, you would never have met James. And I... I just could never forgive myself if he had hurt any of you." I began trying to explain. "He... had a gun, Rose. I put you all in so much danger. I knew James was dangerous, and I still..."

"Yes you did, and you warned us. At any point we could have said it was too much, but we didn't because... well truthfully, you are worth it. Any one of us, would stand at gun point with you, and for you." I felt my lip trembling with the fresh onslaught of tears that her words were causing. "And this has nothing to do with the fact you may or may not be pregnant with our child, it has to do with who you are. In the few weeks that we have known you, our whole family has fallen in love with you... some more than others, but you have become part of our family."

I can honestly say I had never expected the words that she spoke to be the ones I heard. I had expected anger, hate, disappointment. I received none of those things. I'd say she was forgiving, but she had made it clear that they didn't lay any blame on me, therefore there was nothing to forgive.

She reiterated more or less what Edward had been constantly telling me, before announcing that we shouldn't be wasting any further time talking about James. He wasn't worth the effort or energy. I whole heartedly agreed, promising her that I would try and forget about him. It was then she told me that we were having a girls night with Alice.

When Alice had heard of our impromptu sleep over last night, she was demanding we have a girls night in, tonight. Rose informed me there were very few times one could say no to Alice, and when she played the guilt card about not having been invited last night, regardless of the fact that it technically wasn't a sleep over, any argument Rose had put forth had fallen on deaf ears.

So whilst we were having a girls night in, the guys were going to go out for a few drinks, before returning back to Rose and Emmett's place. Since we were all staying in the master bedroom, it left the guys plenty of space to do whatever it was guys did.

After my talk with Rose, I did feel much better about the whole James situation, and though I knew there would always be some part of me that would blame myself, it was a part I could live with. I may have brought him into their lives, but I was going to do my utmost best to get him out of their lives too.

When Emmett and Edward re-entered the room, neither spoke a single word regarding James, they both sat down, and turned the TV on, to whatever channel had a football game on. It was nice to know that James was going to take over everything. I just honestly wanted everything to go back to normal, and just spend some time with this incredible family without constantly having to look over my shoulder.

As I had begun to expect, a little while later, Alice and Jasper arrived, in what can only be described as a hurricane of activity. I had barely managed to greet Jasper, before Alice was dragging both myself and Rose up the stairs into the master bedroom. Again thankfully, Alice didn't bring James up, forgoing any speak of the previous day, steering our focus onto the nights activities.

She began digging in the bag she had placed on the bed, that looked as though it could swallow her whole. She ordered us both to go and have a shower and put our PJ's on before returning to the room. She then without giving either of us a chance to argue, danced from the room. I shook my head, laughing at her exuberance, but also knew enough to know I should follow her instructions. I smiled warmly at Rose before leaving the room.

It was twenty minutes later when I reappeared in the bedroom to find Alice dressed in pale blue with clouds, footsie pyjamas. They made he look even more childlike when coupled with her height. She looked incredibly cute, and comfortable. I actually found myself wanting a pair of the strange piece of clothing. Rose was sat beside her in a pair of pink pyjamas that had Victoria's secret logo printed all over them. She looked both stylish and comfortable, something I was sure not many people could pull off the way Rose did.

"Well don't you look just cute." Alice sang clearly referring to my pink checked pyjamas with a pale pink camisole showing beneath my open shirt.

I smiled shyly toward her, before sitting down on the edge of the bed beside Rose. Alice was back to digging in the bag she had brought with her. Only one can guess exactly what she had in there. This was Alice we were talking about. I wouldn't be surprised if she wasn't a modern day Mary Poppins. Rose nudged me, getting my attention before rolling her eyes at me playfully, just as a small packet hit her on her forehead.

"Do not sass me Rosalie Lillian." Alice snapped playfully.

"Of course not _Mary_ Alice." Rose retorted.

I had learnt early on that Alice hated her full name. And though I cringed at what was to come, I couldn't help but laugh at them both. They were more than just good friends, they were sisters. Sisters through choice rather than one of marital obligations. Seeing them interact, I admit made me feel jealous.

Half an hour later, we all sat in a circle on Rose's bed, brightly coloured face masks covering our skin, cleansing our pours and beautifying us, according to Alice. It was all a part of her master plan. We were going to pamper ourselves before settling down and watching one of the films Alice had deemed the perfect girls night in DVD's.

"Ha ha, Emmett got caught one night coming back in. We all used to climb out of the guest room window that lead onto the garage roof. So this one night Em and Edward came back, Edward scaled the roof and slipped in undetected, but Emmett tripped and fell onto the roof, which gave in under his weight. Of course this woke our parents who thought it was someone breaking into the garage. They both went flying down the stairs, only to find Emmett dangling from one of the beams by the belt of his trousers, completely wasted, trying to act all innocent."

We each burst into hysterics at the imagery of a huge Emmett dangling from the ceiling, the cheesy grin spread across his features as he tried to look innocent. It was something I could totally see happening to someone like him. The typical joker of the group.

Jacob had been the joker of our group, and though I couldn't ever remember him doing anything like falling through the roof of a garage, I was pretty sure he had done something equally as comical. I had to try and remember and ask Seth. He was sure to have stories about Jacob. I didn't have many, it wasn't like we hung out in the same group, since he was a good eight years older than me, but we had still been close.

"What about you Bella, according to Seth, you're the master of sneaking out." Rose asked, making me realize I had zoned out for a few moments.

"Yeah, I was pretty good." I laughed. "You wouldn't think so being the Daughter of the chief of police, but my Dad was a workaholic, and even if he was in, it was pretty easy to sneak past him. When I was younger, I could always get away with that whole 'I'm staying at Angela's' or I'm studying at Mike's', but he caught on to that pretty easily."

I reached for a handful of M&M's that Rose had poured into a bowl for us, and downed a few, followed by a healthy chug of sprite, wishing it was something a little stronger if we were going to take a walk down memory lane.

"There was this big old tree outside my bedroom window, I got pretty good at climbing up and down it undetected. I probably used it for about a year, until this one night, we'd all fallen asleep on the beach down in LaPush, only waking up early morning. Of course we all raced home, I got half way up the tree before my Dad stormed out of the house, having just noticed I wasn't in the house. After that he thought he was so slick cutting down the branches and nailing my window shut." I laughed.

It was something that both me and my Dad could sit and laugh at now. But at the time, I don't think I have ever been so scared in my life. He had been furious with me. I had never, ever seen him so angry before. I had, had to sit through a lecture for well over an hour as he paced back and forth in front of his recliner, which he had made me sit in so I couldn't slink away.

"Why do I get the feeling that, that didn't stop you?" Alice asked giggling.

"Maybe because it didn't." I joined in the girls laughter. "My Dad still to this day doesn't know how I kept managing to get out. It's pissed him off for years. At first he actually thought one of my friends were resting a ladder against the side of the house, so he nailed my other window shut, but after weeks of me still getting out, and the nails having not moved... he actually threatened once to get one of the Detectives form Port Angeles involved,"

Our laughter doubled with the thought of my Dad hiring a Detective or private investigator to follow his young Daughter to figure out how she was getting out of the house.

"So how did you?" Alice pressed.

"The bathroom window." I told them in a hushed voice, like it was one huge secret. "I used to find it hilarious that a Chief of Police couldn't figure out that the terrace work on the side of the house lead straight to the bathroom window. If he found out now, he'd probably rip the damn thing down just to prove a point."

We continued telling each other stories of our childhood, our laughter getting more and more infectious until I wasn't sure what I was laughing at, and I wasn't sure Alice and Rose did either. Just being with the both of them, made me feel so much lighter. Other than really Angela, I had never really had any girl friends I could hang out with like this, and then in college Jessica was around, but she spent most of her time with Mike. So in all, I had predominantly grown up with guy friends.

After we settled down we began watching a film. Alice had her choice first and put Dirty Dancing on, stating that it was the best way to kick off the night. Our giggle fest restarted the moment the scene where Baby's carrying the watermelon into the room and Alice made a comment how she wished Jasper would learn to dance with her like that. It wasn't an image of Jasper I particularly wanted, and I could pretty much guess neither did Rose.

I did however find myself imagining Edward dancing with me that way. I mean sure the night at the club, we'd both done some serious grinding on each other, and I had been sure at one point, that there was something between us, but he had pretty quickly calmed whatever it was I thought I had been feeling. No I wanted Edward to dance with me the way Johnny was dancing with Baby, because he loved her, not because they were drunk and all their friends and family were already paired up. It was ridiculous really, being jealous of a character in a film, just because he could dance with the girl.

My life was anything but a happily ever after film. I wasn't going to get the guy, I didn't even stand a chance with the guy. There were so many things in our way. Firstly I was going to be attached to his Brother and Sister in law, that more than complicated things, add that to the fact, people like him, didn't find people like me attractive. I would never be anything more than a good friend to him, at most.

"Oh boy, this film always makes me jealous of Jennifer Grey." Alice commented as the credits rolled.

"I know, if only all men were like Patrick Swayze." Rose gushed.

I managed to keep any comments I had to myself. I refused to turn this evening into a Bella pity party. Those parties were reserved for when I was alone only. I didn't need to bring anyone down with me.

The cheesy chick flicks continued as Alice went into full wedding mode, and put 27 dresses on. I had to admit, Angela had dragged me to see this when it was on at the cinema, and I had enjoyed it. It helped that the leading male James Marsden was pretty hunky. It was also a little like me in a way, you know what they say, 'always the bridesmaid'.

We each swooned at different parts of the film, my favourite part being when he told her to 'get over here', though it was admittedly a close call between that and the scene where they sing on the bar.

"Ha ha, Alice you are just like Tess, a complete bridezilla." Rose laughed as the film ended.

"Like you weren't!" Alice joked back. "Oh that reminds me, Bella..." She quickly spun her whole body to face me.

Everything about the way she was looking at me, made me want to make as fast an exit form the room as possible. There was nothing about what she was going to say next, that made me feel comfortable. And knowing Alice, she was going to get what she wanted regardless.

"Me and Jazz were talking, and... we'd both really, really, _really_ like you to sing for our first dance."

I was aware that my jaw loosened and my mouth dropped open. Her request wasn't exactly what I had been expecting, but it still wasn't a completely welcome one. I couldn't, I honestly couldn't stand in front of her all her family and friends and sing, let alone the most important song of the night. Other than the night in the bar, when even I could admit I had more than enough Dutch courage, I hadn't sung since... well a long time.

I could already feel the panic building in me, just at the thought. I could already imagine everyone in the room turning to watch me make a fool of myself as I ruined Jasper and Alice's first dance as a married couple, trying and failing at staying in tune.

"I... uh... Alice... I..." I couldn't even form words. "Shit. Alice... I... I'm sorry... I can't... I just can't."

"Please Bella... please. You have the nicest voice I've ever heard. I really want you to be the one to sing for us." She pouted. It was the infamous Cullen pout I had heard all about, I was sure.

Shit how can you say no to someone whose looking at you like she was me. It was enough to break the hardest person. I just couldn't though. I mean I could, but I couldn't exactly down a few whiskeys before hand could I. There was no way I could get up on that stage and sing stone cold sober.

"I don't... I don't sing in public Alice." I tried ignoring the sad eyes she was giving me.

"Yes you do. You sang at the bar."

"And look where that got me. Alice, please, _please _don't ask me to do this. I can't stand in front of all your friends and family and sing for you."

"But you have the most beautiful voice Bella. Please, I really want you to be a part of my wedding." She pouted even more than before.

"Alice if she doesn't want to..." Rose tried to help me, though it was clear Alice was breaking each every single part of my carefully constructed wall down.

"You can pick the song, and you can even have someone sing with you. Just _please_ Bella."

Damn the girl knew how to pick her fights. Even offering up the choice of her own first dance song. How can you turn down an offer like that. I mean, every part of Alice's wedding had been planned so meticulously, yet she was giving one of the most important decisions away, just do I would sing. Which in truth only added more pressure to me, if I did decide to do this, the song I chose, would be forever remembered as the song she had her first dance with Jasper to. Damn this girl.

"I'll think about it." I sighed.

By Alice's response anyone would think I had had agreed. She bounced around on the bed, screeching that she knew I'd sound amazing. I was about to tell her I hadn't agreed yet, when I saw Rose shake her head followed by an eye roll. If anyone knew how to handle Alice, she did.

Yet another film was put in though I can't say I paid any attention to it. My mind was consumed by thoughts of singing at Alice's wedding. It was something I would love to do for her, but I was nervous, and scared that I would ruin her day. I had only ever once sung in front of a large audience once. I had been racked with nerves, but somehow managed to get through it. I hadn't sung again until the night in the bar.

At some point during my thoughts, I obviously fell asleep, being woken hearing someone throwing up. It honesty didn't surprise me one of us were ill after all the junk food we had eaten the night before. I was actually beyond surprised it wasn't me that was in there.

Turning my head to look at the alarm clock I saw that it was just gone past eight thirty. I was shocked I had slept straight through, let alone so late. Normally I was being awoken by clanging pipes at, at least six thirty. It was nice though, I felt well rested for the first time in a while, albeit a little uncomfortable since someone was currently hugging my leg.

I slowly sat up in the bed, sweeping my hair away from my face, and rubbing my face gently, trying to wake myself up. Looking to the end of the bed, I saw it was Alice that currently had a death grip on my leg. Giving a little tug, I managed to successfully pry my leg from her grip, though in doing so woke her up. She looked at me through bleary eyes, giving me a gentle smile, and sitting up.

The toilet flushing and Rose making her way back to bed, broke my trance. I smiled encouragingly at her, taking note of how pale she looked. It reminded me of how she looked that day in the Doctors office. It was then I realized Rose being sick had been going on for a while. Before my brain really kicked in, I took note of how she looked in general. There were no big changes to her, well none obvious anyway, but she did look different somehow. I couldn't put my finger on it, maybe it was because I hadn't known her long enough to really take note of any changes, or maybe I was truly imagining things. Surely had Alice noticed something, she would have mentioned it. Wouldn't she?

"You ok?" I asked quietly.

"Uh, yeah, I think I just ate too much junk." She grimaced. Clearly thinking about food wasn't helping her queasy stomach.

"Are you sure? I mean you've been getting sick for a few..." I began to press, but quickly stopped when she darted back off the bed toward the bathroom.

Both myself and Alice shared a look, seemingly no words needed. We both nodded, before sliding slowly from the bed and making our way to Rose. Alice stepped in first after her little knock, and we both sat on either side of her. I knelt beside her, stroking her back trying to sooth her.

"Rose, forgive me if I'm wrong, but do you think you might be..." I began trying to probe.

I hated to ask, especially if she wasn't. I knew how much pain she and Emmett had been through in trying to for a baby, and I felt awful for even bringing the subject of her possibly being pregnant up. Though in our earlier talks, she had told me she had never actually been pregnant, all had been false alarms, and though he situation upset her, she would be forever grateful that under the circumstances, she had never gotten pregnant and miscarried. I could only imagine the pain that alone could cause. Surely it would be infinitely more painful than a false alarm, or just knowing you couldn't get pregnant at all.

"Pregnant? I don't know. I mean its not like we never stopped trying, but we both kind of figured that it wasn't going to happen." I could hear the fear in her voice. "And I had my period just over two weeks ago."

"But you'd just had a treatment right, just before we met? And some women can still get their period. It's rare, but you could be one of them."

"Yeah but the Doctors told us that since all the others hadn't, there would be a pretty slim chance that one would."

"Rose, honey, I think we might be looking at our slim chance." Alice said softly.

Rosalie suddenly burst into tears. I looked to Alice panicked. Surely this was good news. I mean this was what she always wanted right. To have a baby, and here she was possibly being pregnant. A part of me did understand why she was upset. After so many false alarms, I guess she was worried this would be another, but from what she had said, she had never suffered from morning sickness, all her previous false alarms had always been a late or missed period.

I followed Alice's suggestion and helped Rose to her feet as we all sat back on the bed, snuggling together in hopes to comfort her. Neither Alice nor I said a word, allowing her to calm down in her own time, get everything out of her system before we delved into the issue first. Sometimes you just needed a good cry to put everything into place.

"Rose, do you have any tests in the house?" Alice asked gently, once Rose's sobbing had ceased.

"Yeah, there should be some left from last time. I just... I don't know if I can. I mean if it's a negative reading, then..."

Ah I understood her tears a little more now. She was scared to get her hopes up, scared that the test would be negative, and she would have to deal with the let down all over again.

"I'll do one with you if you want. I mean I know the Doctor said it might be a little early, but you never know." I offered. "I mean, Rose, you really should do one, I know your scared of it being a negative reading, but you kind of expect it to be right."

I had know idea if anything I was saying was making sense, but I really did think she needed to take a test. If for nothing else, to try to figure out why she was being ill so regularly over the past few weeks. If she was pregnant then it had to be something.

Alice bounced off the bed and pranced into the bathroom, returning only moments later with three pregnancy tests, handing one to both myself and Rose, but keeping one in her own hand. I looked at her quizzically, wondering why on earth she wanted to do one.

"I'm not being left out." Was her response, and I could do nothing but laugh at her, and yet grateful that she was lightening the mood a little.

I offered to go first. I was feeling a little nervous. I wanted the test to be both positive and negative. Positive because I was sure it would be the boost both Em and Rose needed, but negative, because although I did want to be pregnant for them, it would also be an awkward position right now, given that Rose was questioning whether she was pregnant or not. I mean imagine for one second that Rose's test comes out negative and mine positive, that's just like a slap in the face for her.

But sweeping my fears under the rug, I pulled my test from the packet, and peed on the stick as instructed, before laying it on a few pieces of toilet paper on the bathroom counter. Not the most hygienic place to leave it, but I wasn't about to carry it around with me for the next five or so minutes. After washing my hands, I quickly exited, allowing Rose to take her test. It felt like no sooner had she entered, she was coming back out. Clearly having taken more than her fair share of these tests, she was more practised, and didn't need any time to read the instructions. Alice went next, exiting after a few minutes, looking at her watch.

We sat silently together, staring at the door to the bathroom, almost as though we could literally each test showing their answers from where we sat. After ten minutes, more than the allotted time, Alice finally sighed, slowly walking to the bathroom. I could hear both myself and Rose hold in a breath, waiting for Alice to come back and give us the results.

"Um, whose is whose test?" Alice's small voice asked.

"I put mine on toilet paper to the left of the counter." I replied.

"So did I." Rose added.

_Oh shit_.

Both myself and Rose dashed into the bathroom seeing Alice staring at the tests. Even she seemed unsure which test was hers considering she was the last person to take it.

"I can't remember which ones mine." She practically whispered, turning to us, tears pooling in her eyes.

Just from her reaction alone, I gathered that there was at least one positive test out of the three of them. Rose was clearly frozen on the spot, and Alice looked like she was going into shock. Taking on the responsibility, I stepped forward, my hands shaking as I took in the position of all three tests. All three had been placed on toilet paper, side by side, clearly no way to tell any of them apart.

The only thing different about them, were that two were showing positive. I really tried not to freak out, it really could be a good thing that there were two positives. The scary thing was though, it could be anyone of us at this point.

Though Alice had never mentioned that she and Jasper were trying, and I highly doubted at this point they were, considering all thoughts seemed to be on the preparation for the wedding, accidents can and do very often happen. Rose whilst clearly having been warned it was unlikely for her, was still a candidate, especially considering she and Emmett were still actively trying. I mean she was having one of the most common pregnancy symptoms, even if she had still had her period. And then there was me. Quite possibly the most likely candidate for one of the positive tests, considering I had with gone IVF treatment at the beginning of the week. However we had been warned it usually took a few attempts before a pregnancy occurred.

So even with all that in mind, it still really didn't narrow down our options any. If anything it gave each of us more reason to be or not be whichever the case maybe.

**OOHHHHH major twist right there for you. Soo hmmm which ones are pregnant? You think you know, but do you really lol. Anyway please review for me, any and all feedback is welcome :)**


	14. All for love

Disclaimer : I own any original characters that may pop up from time to time, and the storyline, but anything else, unfortunately I do not own :)

**Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone :D**

_Ok so another massive **THANK YOU** to my reviewers - **Velvetwhispers**, **Tinksauble**, **Linz832**, **Teamedwardtwilightfan**,**Cheermom13** and **Bandeforever16** you guys are completely amazing **=D =D =D =D**_

Chapter 14

_When it's love you give  
I'll be a man of good faith.  
then in love you live.  
I'll make a stand. I won't break.  
I'll be the rock you can build on,  
be there when you're old,  
to have and to hold.  
When there's love inside  
I swear I'll always be strong.  
then there's a reason why.  
I'll prove to you we belong.  
I'll be the wall that protects you  
from the wind and the rain,  
from the hurt and pain._

_All for Love – Bryan Adams, Rod Stewart and Sting_

How do you answer something like that, when your not even sure yourself? Ok I was almost certain that I did, but that wasn't the point. Rose clearly thought I was, otherwise she wouldn't be asking. So obviously I hadn't been as transparent over the last few weeks as I thought I had. How many more people thought they knew? Em? Jazz? My parents? God even Bella?

How do you tell your Sister-in-law who is counting on the woman in question to be her surrogate, that you think you might be in love with her? That every time you think of her being pregnant, you wish it was your child instead of theirs. Because honestly, that is how I had been thinking of Bella over the past few weeks.

It was an extremely selfish thought, Em and Rose had been desperately trying for a child for some time now, whilst I hadn't and honestly still wasn't, ready for a child. But in walks who I think is the most perfect woman ever, a woman who is willing to give my Brother and his wife the most amazing gift, but I, selfishly want it for myself instead.

It all seemed very rushed, even to me. I had known Bella for little over two months, and already, every time I thought of my future, she was in it. I was thinking of things I had never even dreamt of with Tanya. I was thinking wedding bands, pacifiers, a four bedroom house with a white picket fence, a golden retriever running around after it's young owners. Something straight out of like the nineteen fifties right? But it was what I was imagining. What I found myself wanting.

It was crazy even to me, but it was what I wanted. Which in and of itself was odd. I had never put too much thought into my future as a whole, never really looking past the next day, or week. I always kind of figured it would work itself out in it's own time. I wasn't in any great rush, I was still young, with plenty of time ahead to settle down and do the 'regular' things. But the moment Bella stepped into my life, it all changed. No longer was I taking it day by day, I was thinking ahead, planning, wanting, wishing and needing.

Every night when I walked into my apartment after work, I let my imagination run wild with me, as I rode the elevator to my apartment. I imagined walking in, only to be greeted by the most delicious of smells, seeing Bella preparing dinner for us. A candlelit table for two. Other times I imagined it was me preparing the meal for when Bella got home.

It never occurred to me that maybe, just maybe Bella didn't want any of this with me, or even at all. Sure over the past few months, we had shared moments. But what if they were moments to me, but nothing more than time spent to her. I felt sure there was a mutual attraction between us, but honestly, who really knows.

The night we met, I liked to think feelings were very mutual. She took me back to her place for goodness sakes. But that was all before she had agreed to be Emmett and Rosalie's surrogate. That changed everything. Add that to the fact we were both pretty drunk. I wasn't so sure. Even when I had kissed her a few weeks back, she had been the one to break the kiss and pull away. Sure we had remained in contact since, though sometimes it felt forced, other times natural. Her texts were always playful, the kind you would send to a big Brother or best friend. Which lead me to believe she wanted nothing more from me, but just that.

I was aware that my thoughts sounded more like a girls thoughts, but that was what she caused. She unhinged me. My confidence and ease I normally had with women had been pulled from under me. In some ways it scared me to realize how far I had fallen in such a short space of time. How hard I had fallen for someone I wasn't sure reciprocated the feelings.

So back to Rose's question. Deny or affirm Rose's suspicions?

The real question was, which would cause most damage? Was it worth admitting to her, causing issues between us all, only for Bella not to reciprocate, or lie and try to bluff my way out of it, with the chance of them finding out anyway further down the line.

Thankfully before I had the chance to answer her, Bella walked back into the room. I forced Rose a smile, trying to make it look I was slightly disappointed at not being able to talk further with her, but the only look I received back was the well known 'later' look, which knowing Rose, there most certainly would be a later. So now I had to try and avoid being alone with Rose until I got my shit together.

For the rest of the evening, I caught Rose carefully eyeing both myself and Bella whenever we were together, like she was trying to read my body language, and figure it out for herself. I tried not to focus too much on it though, I knew if I did, my behaviour would change and everyone would then pick up on it. Especially Bella.

By the time I crept into bed, I was exhausted, physically and mentally. My shoulder ached, my knee ached and every movement my stomach muscles screamed in protest. Emmett had been kind enough to leave the Tylenol on the bedside cabinet, as well as lending me some sweats to sleep in. They were a little on the big side, but it was better than nothing, and I felt much better being close to Bella in case she needed one of us during the night.

Sleep didn't come easily. There wasn't any one thing that ran through my mind, because everything ran through it. Things like had we seen the last of James? Did Bella have any feelings for me at all? Should I own up to my own feelings for her, to her? To Rose? To Emmett? The way it felt to be the one who protected her. The pain in my knee. The pain in my shoulder. Had I remembered to give the paper work to accounting, or was it still sat unsigned on my desk? All ridiculous thoughts really, none of which helped me settle into sleep.

At one point I felt sure I had heard movements coming form Bella's room, but sleep was finally starting to take over, and I let it, my exhaustion thankfully winning me over. My dreams didn't exactly let me rest peacefully though. I was unsure which was worse, the thoughts in my head whilst awake, or the dreams that haunted my unconscious.

It started like any other dream really, nothing that I could pick out or remember, but then a pregnant Bella appeared. Gushing over her swollen belly, announcing to those around her, that she couldn't wait for her little one to come along, and she hoped it looked like it's Daddy. At that point, she looked up and beamed at me. Such a proud hopeful smile. I even felt myself smile back, secretly hoping it looked more like it's Mommy. Then James stepped into the picture, announcing that 'he' had better look like him. Before I could say anything, the dream continued, flashing in to look at my own family, Rose and Em chasing around after two toddlers, smiling and laughing, a heavily pregnant Alice and Jasper watching, commenting that it would be their turn soon. And my parents sat on a nearby bench, holding hands and watching their family adoringly. It didn't seem as though I was even part of their happiness. Before I had time to dwell, I was back in Bella's apartment, watching, frozen as James slapped Bella and threw her into the walls by her hair.

I woke up, my fists clenched tightly around the edge of the pillow. I felt murderous, anger stewing inside. It took me a few minutes to calm down, and even then, I knew any little thing could reignite my sudden anger. I was angry at myself for being angry over a damn dream. But in my defence it all felt very real.

I sat up slowly, waiting for my stomach muscles to bring on a wealth of pain, but surprisingly, it didn't really hurt, other than a slight soreness, that really is to be expected. Seeing the bedside clock flash seven thirty, and knowing sleep would not come for me again, I slowly got out of bed and went to the bathroom. I could hear the shower coming from Em and Rose's en-suite, and figured it would be Rose. Em was never an early riser by choice.

After going to the bathroom and brushing my teeth, I headed toward the stairs, only to think better of it, and check in on Bella first. I felt guilty for having not arranged with Emmett and Rose who was going to wake Bella at whatever times. I had seemingly left it up to my Brother and his wife. I knocked gently on the door, loud enough for her to have heard had she been awake, but not loud enough to have woken her. After waiting a moment and having not heard a reply, I gently pushed the door open, popping my head in the gap.

Upon seeing the bed empty, I immediately began to worry. It never once crossed my mind that she had gotten up of her own accord. Scenarios ran through my mind, wondering if she had become ill during the night. Surely Em and Rose would have woken me. Trying my best not to panic, and think the worst, I made me way back out of the room and down the stairs, coming to a stop when I saw Emmett stood in the doorway to the living room.

I fought the urge to sneak up behind him, knowing Rose would seriously castrate me if I woke her up making Em scream like a little girl. I was thankful I did, when I came to a stop behind him, seeing the girls fast asleep, leaning on each others shoulders. The TV was still on, some random cheesy off air sales were playing.

Bella looked so perfect asleep. Completely relaxed and worry free. I struggled to remember when she had looked so at peace last. Her life certainly wasn't without it's struggles, seemingly as though there was always something in the way, blocking her from complete happiness. She had, had to deal with so much, and yet I knew there was even more, that she wasn't telling us.

"They look too sweet to wake." Em mused.

"Yeah they do, but I'm sure their muscles aren't going to agree." I whispered in return.

He nodded, stepping into the room obviously to wake them. I excused myself to make breakfast for us, not wanting to crowd Bella too much from the moment she woke up. The day ahead of us would be difficult enough without starting it off badly. I wanted her to know I was going to be there for her, but also I was willing to give her space. Even if that meant letting Emmett wake my sleeping angel.

When Bella appeared, looking as gorgeous as ever in her sleep crumpled clothes, and sleepy smile, it was so easy to make small talk with her as I finished cooking. Everything with Bella was just so natural and easy. Even talking about something as benign as 'Happy days' just made me feel stupidly happy. Even when Rose and Emmett joined us, there was nothing awkward between us. If anything it felt like two couples getting together for breakfast. And how I wished this was true.

I hated breaking it to her after breakfast that we needed to go and give our statements. It was something I would gladly continue putting off, but I knew it had to be done, and by doing so, if it ensured James was punished correctly, then so be it. It almost killed me seeing the apprehension in her eyes when I told her, and even though I wanted badly to spend as much time with her alone, I was so very grateful at this point, that her Dad would be joining us.

The journey to the station was silent, not an inch of awkwardness between us, it was usual, comfortable. I never felt as though I needed to fill the emptiness when I was with Bella, hell any time I was with her, it never felt empty. I could however feel the apprehension rolling off of her in waves. I wanted badly to put her concerns to rest, though I knew it would be impossible. Especially considering I felt a slight nervousness about the whole giving my statement. I had never done anything like this before, coupled with the fact I was physically involved in an altercation with James. I kind of wished I had, had the opportunity to talk to Bella's Dad last night, so he could give me an idea of what to expect.

The moment we saw Bella's Dad, I could feel Bella calm, which in turn calmed me down some, but oddly enough her Dad's presence had the most calming affect. I suspected it was because of his Police background, and I knew he would understand the full process and steer the both of us throughout.

The whole morning was one big joke if I was being honest. We were treat like we were the bad guys, intimidation tactics in full force. I had my own business, I could see the signs of intimidation a mile off, hell I had probably used some of them at times. I just couldn't figure out the need to use them on us. Bella's Dad was great though, quickly shooting both Officers down in flames when he announced he was a Chief. If it had been any other time, I would probably have burst into laughter at the expressions on the two men's faces upon learning they were sat opposite someone who was ranked higher than themselves.

Nothing, and I do quite literally mean nothing could have prepared me for seeing the bruises that covered Bella's back and upper arms. I know it was completely naïve of me to have not considered she would have some, but actually seeing them, made my blood boil. Murderous thoughts flying through my mind.

"Are you in pain?" I heard my voice ask, recognising the slight harshness to my tone.

I ran a finger over the bruises on her arms, wishing I could have prevented these, wishing my touch would rid her of her pain, of the visual evidence at what she had been through. I was angry, angry that I hadn't been there to protect her, angry that we hadn't insisted that first night to call the Police, and angry that I hadn't done more damage to James on both my meetings with him.

"I'm fine." She uttered.

I searched her face desperately, trying to work out with my own eyes how truthful she was being with me. I might not have known her as well as I wanted to, but I already knew her well enough to know when she was blatantly lying... hopefully.

All I saw though, was slight fear, and it didn't take a genius to work out that she was currently scared of me. The harshness to my tone only mere moments ago, mixed with the anger that was probably radiating from my ever pore, there really was no wonder she looked scared. I didn't want her to ever be scared of me though. I wanted her to feel loved, protected, and safe with me.

I yanked her into a tight embrace, hoping it conveyed everything I felt for her, that I couldn't find any words to explain right now. I wanted her to know how much I felt for her, how much I wanted her to be mine, and how I may have failed this time, but it was now my aim to never fail her again.

It was only a few moments into the hug, that I realized that all the feelings I was throwing into the embrace, may be too much for her. She had plenty to deal with currently, without me adding to it, so regrettably, I pulled away, before suggesting we make our way back to her Dad and the other two officers.

Dumbstruck would be a good word to describe me when we were told of James history. And for the first time I truly began to realize how dangerous he was. I know Bella had told us before, warned us, but it had never really hit home, that she meant he was _this_ dangerous. Though honestly, looking at her face, it didn't appear that she even realized how dangerous he truly was. It all happened in slow motion, I could see the sheer panic and guilt spread across every part of Bella, before she started mumbling things about what could have happened. And as much as both her Dad and I tried to convince her not to think about it, I knew instinctively that she was. Not that I could blame her, as honestly, some of the 'what if's' were running through my mind too. How could they not?

We each said goodbye to her Dad, Chief Swan taking a moment to thank me again, though I had tried to tell him it wasn't necessary. He then surprisingly told me that he couldn't have asked for a better man for Bella than me. His comment threw me for all of a few seconds. In my mind I couldn't figure out whether it was his way of hinting that he thought we would be good together, or that he thought or rather knew of my feelings for his Daughter. Either way, I thanked him, before shaking his hand and standing beside Bella as we watched him drive away.

I tried to forget his words for now. I needed to focus on other things. Only later, when I was alone would I dissect his words, and try to figure out his true meanings. He didn't strike me as a man who would say things like that, just because. Even Bella had told us that Charlie Swan was a man of few words, and the words he did speak always had a purpose. I just needed to figure out his purpose for speaking his previous ones to me.

Throughout the morning I had seen Bella try and keep a brave face, only allowing minimal tears to escape, and for the most part, I had been expecting her to break down at some point. It however came as a complete surprise that her walls finally fell once her Dad was out of sight. And for the first time ever, I didn't know what I could say to her to make her feel better. This was not a moment where humour would save me. So I did the only thing, that I wanted to do pretty much constantly anyway. I wrapped my arms around her, waving off her apology.

She had know idea how strong she actually was. Anyone else would probably be curled up in a ball after giving up, but not her. I was in awe of how well she was coping. For her to apologize for the one moment of weakness, it was unneeded. She certainly didn't owe me an apology, in fact I was a little relieved that she was letting it all out.

What I wasn't relieved for though, was how she felt so guilty for bringing James into our lives. How much she hated herself right now, and how she thought we hated her. Hate was the last thing I could ever feel for her, regardless of how many James' she brought into my life, and I was pretty sure I could say the same for my family. To hear how she thought we wouldn't want her, it broke my heart. I wanted her so much it was killing me.

The whole way back to Em and Rose's I had to constantly remind her to stop worrying. She had convinced herself that Rose and Em would hate her, banish her from our lives. No matter what I seemed to say, she had thoroughly convinced herself that she was to blame, that she should have done more to keep James from our lives, and that when the information had sunk in, we would turn on her. I was exhausted trying to convince her otherwise, but I would never give up.

Her whole reaction made me start to wonder if it was more of a habit for her to take the blame for everything. Whether there was someone back in Forks, or even her Mom, whom she had never said a word about, that had constantly blamed her for things, until she actually began to believe them.

Eventually I managed to get her to relax some, but all that work was quickly undone when Emmett and Rosalie returned home. Bella immediately tensed, a panicked expression glazing her features. She couldn't look either my Brother or Sister in law in the eye, and of course Emmett was oblivious to it, but Rose, she immediately picked up on it.

I took the reins, explaining that we'd had quite the morning, and gestured for us to all go into the living room. I knew what we would tell them would shock them, but I was under no illusion that they would see everything the same as myself. No-one was to blame for James actions to but James himself. All I could do was hope that the more people that told Bella this, the more she would actually believe it.

Other than a stuttered apology at the beginning, Bella was silent throughout my explanation of what we had been told, my hand gripping hers, if anything to make sure she sat beside me, and didn't run like I was half expecting her to do. The more I told them, the more convinced I made myself that Bella wasn't going to run. She had never run from anything before, and I really didn't expect her to start now.

It was only when Rose started to question that she finally lost the bit of control she had, and snatched her hand from mine, muttering yet another unwarranted apology before making her way from the room. Both Em and Rose looked to me, confused over her reaction, before I darted after her, catching her just inside the front door.

She barely put up a fight, completely defeated. I have to say this scared me more than her blaming herself. The Bella I had become to know was a fighter, but this Bella, was to put it simply, broken. I could do no other than just hold her, and hope she could feel that I was going to fight with her, for her. Always. She clutched me, holding on as if her life depended on it.

Eventually Rose and Em appeared in the doorway and as expected reiterated to Bella exactly what I had been trying to tell her all day. No-one blamed her for that psychos actions, and that we didn't think any less of her for her past.

I have to say I was grateful when Rose lead Bella away. As much as I wanted and needed to be near her, it was absolutely killing me to see her so broken. I wanted to wave a magic wand and make everything right for her, for the both of us. Because quite simply, it had gotten to the point where she hurt, I hurt. And I was tired of hurting.

"C'mon Bro, I think a beer is in order." Emmett clapped a hand on my shoulder before leading the way into the living room.

I sat at the breakfast bar, gratefully accepting the offered bottle, taking a long, much needed swig. Emmett stood opposite me, and I could tell he was wanting to say something. Knowing Emmett how I did, I could almost read his mind. I knew he wanted further information, information he wouldn't ever dare to ask in front of the girls, he would also probably want to know if there was anyway he could get to James. He already thought of Bella as a little Sister, and if Emmett was anything, he was extremely protective of his loved ones, even more so than me.

"How much you wanna kill that bastard right about now?"

"More than you'll ever know Bro, more than you'll ever know." I replied honestly, taking another swig.

We sat for the next hour talking in further detail about the mornings happenings, before moving on to what would happen next. Though we had been told it was unlikely that we would be needed in court, I explained to Emmett that I would get in touch with the family lawyer on Monday, to make sure everything was correct. The last thing we needed was for James to be getting out any time soon, and if the armed robbery charges didn't stick, at the very least we had assault and breaking and entering to name a few charges to fall back on. I also wanted a restraining order putting in place for the whole family.

We eventually headed back into the living room, acting as natural as possible, by watching a football game on TV, giving the subject of James as wide a berth as possible. Bella for the first time all day seemed to finally have relaxed, and there was no-way I was wanting to cause any more stress. We'd all had about as much as we could take all day.

When Alice and Jasper appeared a little later, the girls immediately disappeared off upstairs. I immediately took this as my cue to get the hell out of the house. On too many occasions growing up, had both myself and Emmett made the mistake of hanging around the house when Alice was having her girlie get togethers, and had suffered the consequences. Emmett having had the same thought, made haste in his exist, both of us were quickly followed by Jasper, who too had learned the hard way.

"I feel a little bad leaving Bella with them. I doubt she knows what she's getting herself in to up there." I couldn't help voicing as we clambered into Emmett's Jeep.

"Ed, Bro, it's every man for himself." Was Emmett's reply. "Besides she's a chick, she'll be able to cope besides Lil B's feisty."

I had to agree. I was sure Bella could stand up to Alice and Rose if needs be. Besides it wasn't like Rose was going to let anything awful happen to her. Rose had quickly turned into Mama bear where Bella was concerned.

Ten minutes later, we had pulled into the parking lot of Joe's. I couldn't help but think this was where it all began. Had it not been for that night where I was running late for meeting Emmett, I probably would never have met Bella. I might have seen her from across the bar, but chances are since I would have been acting as my Brother's sounding board, I wouldn't have taken the time to speak to her.

The bar was pretty quite, even though it was a Saturday. It was however still pretty early in the evening. Alec waved to us, silently acknowledging the fact he would join us as soon as he had a free minute. We piled into the booth nearest the bar, waiting for Alec to arrive with our usual order. I listened half heartedly as Emmett retold the last few days events to Jasper, quickly catching him up. There was only so many times I wanted to have to tell the story. Thankfully Alec arrived with a tray of beers right at the beginning of Em's explanation, so that I didn't have to listen to the story yet again. As with telling the story, there was only so many times I could hear it too.

The mere thought of James laying one finger on Bella made my blood boil, I wanted to forget it all, badly. I wanted to pretend like James never existed. I wanted to stop seeing Bella beat herself up over this.

I had pretty much zoned out of the conversation, not having paid any attention to anything other than the beer bottle in front of me, and the label which I had been peeling off slowly. It was only Jasper giving my shoulder a nudge that I landed back on Earth with a bump, seeing the amused expressions watching me, waiting for me to answer them, only I didn't know what the question was.

"Pretty out of it there, huh, lover boy." Alec teased.

"Yeah." I replied half heartedly.

It was mere moments later that I finally caught onto the nickname Alec had used. Lover boy? Sure he had an idea of my feelings for Bella, but it had never been Alec's style to drop someone in the deep end. My mind began to race, trying to think of anything that may have caused him to use such a nickname. I vaguely caught the end of Jasper declaring that I couldn't even deny it. Deny what?

"Huh?" Was all I could come up with.

"I asked you, when you were going to come clean about your feelings?" Emmett asked me, his face deadly serious.

**Shit**. How the hell did he know? Had I subconsciously mentioned it? Was I _that_ obvious? Or had Alec spilled his guts? Or had Rose put him up to this. If I had to put a bet on one, my bet would be Rose. I should have known she wouldn't have let it drop.

I had know idea what to say. I couldn't for the life of me think whether or not I should deny them, or just admit it. I knew without a doubt I had to start being more careful. First Alice, then Alec, followed by Rose, and now Jasper and Emmett. Damn. They all had to be talking right? I wasn't _that_ obvious, surely!

"Don't even try denying it Bro, it's plain to anyone who sees the two of you together." Jasper told me, an encouraging smile gracing his face. Well what I hoped was an encouraging smile.

"Um... huh... how?... when?... ugh." Not only couldn't I seem to think straight, I couldn't talk either.

"Eddie, it was plain as day from the moment you first met, I've _never_ seen you behave like that towards anyone in your life. It was like you were torn from running from the room, or staying and staring at her longingly."

Jesus, when did Emmett become so insightful. He was the last person I ever expected to catch onto what I felt for Bella.

"Add that to the fact every time we spoke, you always asked after her, you don't even realize it, but you were calling me a few times a day, when you normally only ever speak to me once or twice a day at most."

"Fuck... I'm sorry. I tried, I honestly did."

Shit this was it. It was all coming out, and my Brother would want to kick my ass. Bella being their surrogate was so important, and my not being able to keep my emotions under control was severely putting it all at risk.

"Tried what?" Emmett asked. He looked confused. "Edward."

Damn, he rarely called me Edward, he's gotta be mad. And who could blame him.

"Not liking her. If it makes you feel any better, I want to just see her like I do Alice or even Rose, but I can't. Because she's _Bella_." I wasn't sure how much sense that made, but it made plenty to me. "I've tried so hard, but no matter what, I can't get her from my damn mind. I have _never_ felt anything like this for anyone before, not even Tanya. It's like..." I wasn't sure how to explain it.

"Like everything's right with the world when you're near her, like you finally feel complete." Jasper inserted for me.

"Like you could die a happy man, just because you knew her?" Alec added as I nodded along.

"No... it doesn't make me feel better Bro." Emmett suddenly stated.

I knew it, I knew he would be anything but happy about this. Who could blame him, really. I should have gone to him right in the very beginning and told him. I had betrayed his trust in me by not telling him. I had just made everything so much more difficult for him and Rose.

"It doesn't make it any better Edward, because more than I want a baby with Rose, I want my family to be happy. And Ed, I honestly never thought that after that Tanya bitch screwed you over, I never thought I would see you completely happy again. None of us did. But here you are, whenever you're around her, the Edward I grew up with, the pre-bitch Edward is back, and I couldn't be happier."

Huh! So he was ok with me liking Bella. Or maybe he was luring me into a false sense of security before he pummelled me.

"Am I the only one that's aware that she's going to be having your baby?" I suddenly asked. Even I wasn't sure where it came from.

"So?"

"That complicates things do you not think?" I asked.

"Only if we let it." Emmett answered, his voice never betraying the truth of which he clearly felt. "Listen, I think we all know that you more than like Bella, so if what you want is our permission, then Rose and I are fine with you wanting to be with Bella. But honestly, you don't need it. Yes we hope that Bella is going to carry our baby for us, but never once did we expect her to put her life on hold for us. So if you're what she wants, we couldn't be happier."

That was all any of us needed to say on the subject. Clearly Emmett knew how I felt, and I now knew how he and Rose felt, and that was all that we needed to know for now. Besides there was no point in analysing it further, since I had know idea how Bella felt. I had a fair idea, but I could be so far from the mark. For now, I was going to try and enjoy the rest of my night out with the guys, and if I needed to talk to Emmett further, then I would do that later, preferably when we weren't surrounded by everyone else.

When we returned home, the girls were clearly still awake since we could hear their laughter every so often. Deciding to give them a wide berth and not advertise our return, we headed straight for the living room, turning to one of the many sports channels Emmett subscribed to, and settled down for the duration.

I can't remember falling asleep, but I most certainly remember waking up. The crick in my neck aching, as was the rest of my body due to the awkward position in which I had most likely spent most of my night. Emmett was still sprawled out in the recliner and Jasper was on the opposite end of the sofa to myself, his feet propped up on the coffee table. Emmett was the only one who looked vaguely comfortable, but then again, he had probably spent more than a few nights in the very same recliner at some point.

I was tired, that I knew. After the events of the previous day and then the uncomfortable night, I was desperate for some proper sleep. It wasn't likely to happen though. Non of us were due to work with it being a Sunday, so chances are we would be hanging out for the day. I supposed I would have to go back home though at some point. I could only live in Emmett's clothes for so long, and unlike Bella I had no real excuse to not go home.

Dragging myself up, I headed for the kitchen aiming to put a pot of coffee on and maybe start making some breakfast. I was beginning to feel the pangs of hunger, so chances are if I was, Emmett would be practically dying of starvation at this point. As I thought, the moment I put the bacon in the pan, Emmett made his appearance, yawning loudly and scratching his head. He looked like the stereotypical caveman. He took the mug of coffee with a smile and sat at the breakfast bar. Jasper who had followed him in, took his place in the kitchen beside me and began the eggs.

We were just about to start plating the food up when we heard the sounds of footsteps dashing around upstairs. Clearly the girls were awake, but why it sounded like a herd of elephants up there I wasn't sure. I couldn't figure out what the reasoning for such speedy movements this early in there morning, there was. Before I even had chance to ask the guys, three sets of footsteps began barrelling down the stairs.

"What the hell!" Emmett declared, clambering to his feet, heading toward the hall way.

Both myself and Jasper followed quickly behind him, only to see the backs of the girls as they rushed out of the door. What the hell, indeed. By the time we even got to the door to follow them, they were in Alice's car, speeding form the driveway.

I couldn't help the bubble of panic rising in me, I couldn't remember any of the girls saying they needed to be anywhere this morning. And looking at both Emmett and Jaspers faces, neither could they. Emmett had pulled his cell out and was clearly trying to call Rose, though by the look on his face he wasn't having much luck.

"Let's not panic too much here guys, if there was something wrong, they would have told us." Jasper tried to state calmly, though even I could hear the doubt in his voice, which was very unusual for Jasper. "They probably made spa appointments last night and are running late. You know what Alice is like for punctuality." Now there was the Jasper I knew and loved.

We each nodded, trying to convince ourselves that Jasper was right, though it made concentrating and eating breakfast incredibly difficult. Every time Emmett squirmed in his seat, my head snapped in his direction, hoping it was because his cell was vibrating in his pocket, even though I knew he'd turned the volume onto full. It was stupid really, all three girls were capable of looking after themselves, and failing that they were all together. Knowing this however, did nothing for the nagging feeling I had.

Twenty minutes later, the girls suddenly returned, though the only reason we knew was because we heard them come through the front door. Without a word, we all dashed to meet them.

"Rosie, where the hell..." Emmett began asking, I could hear the pure relief in his voice.

"Emmett. Not now."

Huh. All girls looked... odd. It was weird, they all immediately aimed to return upstairs, none of them even giving us the courtesy of looking at us. It was almost as though each and every single one of us were in the dog house.

"Ali, honey..." Jasper tried, though he reached for Alice, trying to get her attention.

"Not now sweetie." Was the response, followed by a peck to his cheek.

All three of them had me stumped. I managed to catch Bella's eye, but all she had to offer was a tight smile in response. The nagging feeling I had felt early, clearly was spot on. In a confused daze, we returned to the kitchen, not saying a word to each other. I suppose the only positive was that they were all home safe, anything else was just a secondary thought. Whatever it was that was bothering them, we would deal with it.

Emmett looked the most troubled out of the three of us, and as much as he tried to show he wasn't worried, he wasn't as successful as he hoped. All Jasper and I could do was try and go along with his pretending. If he needed to pretend like everything was ok, then that was fine. Whatever worked for him.

"EMMETT!"

**Hmmmm what's going on here then? Lol. This chapter I have to say was so damn difficult to write, and I know it wasn't the best, but it was intended to be a filler chapter. I realize the most part of this chapter is simply the last chapter but in Edward's p.o.v, but I wanted the last part to be Edwards p.o.v and without the first half it would have been one short chapter. So anyway. Regardless of whether you loved it or hated it, I would appreciate your thoughts PLEASE :)**


	15. Ironic

Disclaimer : I don't own an thing so ner ner ner na lol

_Firstly, I apologize that the update before Christmas was only a filler chapter. I had originally planned to write enough for there to be two updates before Christmas, which would have been the last chapter as well as this, but my stupid laptop currently hates me lots, and well it just didn't get written. So my apologies for the crappy Christmas update :(_

_And secondly, big thank you's to my three wonderful reviewers - **Tinksauble**, **Linz832** and **Kiwi Marshmallow **- thank you so much for taking the time to review for me, I do very much appreciate it, and I do apologize for having not replied to you as I usually do **:D :D :D :D**_

Chapter 15

_It's like rain on your wedding day  
It's a free ride when you've already paid  
It's the good advice that you just didn't take  
Who would've thought... it figures_

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you  
When you think everything's okay and everything's going right  
And life has a funny way of helping you out when  
You think everything's gone wrong and everything blows up  
In your face

_Ironic - Alanis Morissette_

We each continued staring at the two positive tests, each of us in our own minds trying to come up with some form of explanation. There was none though. It was pretty simple really. Two of us were pregnant. We just didn't know who. Of course there were the more likely candidates but these things were never a given.

"Rose, do you have any more tests?"

She looked at me almost blankly, her eyes fearful. It was as though she was fighting against her hopes. She managed to shake her head in answer. It was just Murphy's law that we would have run out of tests at such a crucial time. Earlier both mine and Alice's results wouldn't have mattered, but now, they were what was coming between Rose and her dream of having a child.

This wasn't the first time I had seen someone fighting the urge to hope for this. It was heartbreaking really. To see that defeated look when the results were negative, it was an image I would never forget, and I hated that shortly, I may have to be seeing it again. And it would hurt no less the second time around.

"Ok, ok so here's what we're gonna do. I'll go downstairs and pull Emmett to one side, and get him to go get some more tests from the store..." I began to devise a plan. One way or another, we needed to know, regardless of how much the result may hurt.

"NO! No, please Bella. I can't get his hopes up, I just can't." Rose sobbed, finally fighting off the cloud that had surrounded her for a moment. "He'll pretend like it's ok either way, but I know deep inside if it's not me, it'll be killing him inside."

I understood exactly what she was saying. There was only so many times they could go through this, and even though she was currently going through it again, what was the point in hurting that extra person. Of course regardless of the result, I would encourage her to tell Emmett either way, but I did understand why she didn't want to make him aware right this minute.

I nodded my head and suggested I run to the store myself, but then Alice insisted we all go. Safety in numbers she said, though I think it was more the idea she and Rose would have to wait around, that scared the living daylights out of her.

For the first time ever, Rose and Alice got dressed, not caring that they weren't wearing the most fashionable items. We had run around the room, grabbing random items of clothing and pulling them on. Make up wasn't applied, hair wasn't brushed, and appearances weren't checked before we stampeded our way from the house, only marginally aware that the boys had called after us.

None of it mattered though, we were girls on a mission. One thing on our minds, and no-one would stop us from reaching our goal. Including traffic lights and stop signs or any other trafficking law for that matter, if Alice's driving is anything to go by.

Once we arrived at the store, we dashed inside, straight to the female products aisle. Having never bought a pregnancy test before, I was amazed at the choice available. I looked to my left to see Alice looking about as panicked as I felt. I had know idea which to choose, which was the most reliable. We both turned to Rose, hoping she would recommend the best ones to us. I hadn't even paid attention to the brand she had, had at home.

"This ones the most popular, but I've been told this ones the most reliable." Rose informed us, pointing to two separate tests.

Her choice was good enough for me, so I stepped forward, and plucked one of each from the shelf. Both Rose and Alice did the same before we began making our way to the check outs. Half way there I made a detour, grabbing some bottled water for the three of us. I was hoping one test may do it, but still, I wanted to be prepared in case a second test was needed.

The journey back to Rose and Em's was made in silence. Rose stared out of the window, biting at her nails anxiously. Alice was channelling her worries with road rage, whilst I sat watching them both. I had no real reason to feel nervous about the fact that I could be one of the pregnant two, but I did. It was unexplainable. Why should I be nervous about something that I had been planning for?

In all honesty, it shouldn't bother Rose or myself which of the two of us could be pregnant, because either way, Rose was the one that was going to benefit. Whether she carried the child herself of I did, it didn't matter. But for some odd reason, it did matter. Part of me wanted it to be Rose that was pregnant, if for nothing else, but so she could experience it for herself. But the other part couldn't help but hope that it was me. If Rose got to carry her own baby, I would no longer be needed, and the amount of time I had been expecting to spend with her and her family, would be cut considerably short.

There were so many ways I wanted the conclusion to be, that it actually made me feel even more nervous. I felt my hand twitching for my cell, desperate to text Edward and let him know what was going on, as I had become accustomed to doing over the past few weeks. I actually found myself wanting to hear Edward tell me that it was going to be ok, that no matter what, everything would work out.

When we arrived, only to find the boys waiting for us, worried expressions donning their faces at our sudden exit and re-entry. It was then I realized that we hadn't said a single word to them, and they must have been at the very least curious. I felt almost guilty when we disappeared back up to the master bedroom, brushing off their concerns.

As before we each took it in turns to use the bathroom and take the test, this time marking tissues with our names and placing the tests on them. I was the last to go, and seeing Rose and Alice's tests sitting there, I've never felt so desperate to know the result of anything before. Placing my test on my piece of tissue, I walked back into the bedroom, sitting beside Rose, and taking her offered hand, as we sat silently waiting for the right moment.

The alarm on Alice's cell rang out, each of us practically jumping in shock. As desperate as we were to know, none of us made a move. Rose was definitely rooted to her seat, her leg bouncing erratically. It was clear she definitely wasn't going to be the one to go and check.

"Look. Regardless of who it is, it'll be ok. We'll help each other through, we have three terrific guys downstairs that will help us too." Alice suddenly stated. I got the feeling it was more for her own benefit than mine and Rose's.

Rose and I nodded, before I sighed, acknowledging that I would go and check the results. Walking into the bathroom made me feel like I was the guy from dead man walking, taking his last walk. Which I know is ridiculous, being pregnant was far from being given a death sentence, but it felt ominous for some reason. Which was probably about right, what those results said had the opportunity to change my life. There would be no going back, no second thoughts.

Taking one last breath of air, I stepped up to the counter, forcing myself to look at the tests. I glanced at each in turn, seeing what I knew deep inside were the results we each had known. The first negative belonged to me.

"Bella?" Alice asked, and I turned to see both her and Rose stood nervously just outside of the bathroom doorway, waiting to hear their results.

"Mines negative." I squeaked out.

Both girls frowned at me. This wasn't the result I think each of us secretly wanted. I mean sure the doctor had told us it could take a few weeks for a pregnancy to show, but I now understood how disheartened Rose felt each time she took one of these things.

"Oh Bella." Rose stepped over to me.

"It's fine Rose, I mean the doctor did say it could take a few weeks to show on a scan and test. There's still a chance."

"What's my result?" Alice pressed.

Having blanked out the other results when I had seen my own, I turned to look again. Immediately on seeing it, I wasn't sure how happy I was about the result. Ridiculous really, because it didn't matter, but in some ways it really did.

"It's negative Alice."

At that moment, I saw both relief and disappointment spread across her face. I knew why she was relieved, but I was also hyper aware of why she was disappointed. In the last hour or so, with the possibility she could be carrying something that purely made from hers and Jaspers love, she had become to like the idea. Along with the relief was a look of guilt. Of course she would feel guilty for being relieved. It was like admitting she didn't want a baby, when Rose and Emmett wanted one as badly as they did, and had struggled for so long to make their dreams come true. Who wouldn't feel guilty for being pleased it wasn't them.

"Rose... you're pregnant." I practically whispered, picking up her test and handing it to her so she could see for herself.

"Are... are you sure?" It was like she didn't want to believe it was possible, and who could blame her. "They could have gotten mixed up again."

I shook my head, dismissing her fears. I know we had two positives earlier, but there was such a thing as false positives. Rose announced quite calmly that we all should do our second test to be sure. Both Alice and I agreed that it would probably be for the best, though honestly I wasn't sure how many negatives I could stand to see in one day.

We all took the tests, making sure to leave them on our tissues but at ether end of the bathroom service, 'just in case being close to each other interferes with the result', as Alice told us. I doubted it had any affect, but I couldn't blame her for her thoughts. When the allotted time was up, it was Alice who went to collect them.

"Two negatives and a positive." She told us. "Rose, you're the positive."

Slowly but surely her smile spread across her face as she turned her full attention to the test in her hand. If I wasn't so sure she was still breathing, I might have been a little worried at her paralysed form.

"I'm going to be a Mom?" I smiled and nodded. "EMMETT!" She suddenly screamed.

Within moments of Rose screaming Emmett's name, all three boys appeared through the doorway, almost as if, they had been standing out in the hall trying to listen in to what was happening. All three of their faces were full of panic and worry. In any other situation I may have even laughed.  
Emmett stepped forward closer to both Rose and I, freezing when he saw the test in Rose's hand. His mouth moved, trying to find words, but he seemed to have lost all ability. Who could blame him really? Who wouldn't be shocked?

"It's positive," Rose murmured, before being swept up into Emmett's huge embrace.

I stepped away, trying to give the couple a few moments to themselves. I could vaguely hear Jasper questioning Alice as to why she had taken a test, but everything was quickly fading into the background as I watched Em and Rose hold each other, tears pouring down their cheeks.  
It was at this point I recognised the fact both Rosalie was pregnant. It was something that none of us had ever factored into the plan. I was meant to be having their baby because they couldn't but now that was moot. A million questions flew through my mind, laying heavily on my chest. Would they still want the baby I may be carrying? Was the last few weeks all for nothing?

At this point, the whole family had surrounded Emmett and Rose, congratulating and hugging. I felt somewhat like an intruder. I wasn't family after all. This was their private moment.

I silently snook out of the room. Surprisingly going completely unnoticed. I headed for the back deck, where I knew there was a porch swing. I wasn't really sure how I felt about everything right now. A little hurt maybe. I realized Rose getting pregnant was a much bigger deal than me, but I kind of felt pushed out a little. Crazy I know, since I knew Rose and Em well enough to know that would never be their intention, but still, it felt like it didn't matter that I could still be pregnant.

Was this how it was going to be if I too was pregnant? Was the baby Rose was carrying going to mean more? Be loved more? I know these were completely ridiculous thoughts, how can you ever love one child more than the other, but it does happen. Rose would have that bond with her baby, because she will have carried it for nine months, whereas the child I carried, she wouldn't have that bond so many mothers said to have with their baby. The baby I was carrying for them, would be more like a stranger to them. Rose wouldn't have felt every movement, every kick, like she had with hers. She wouldn't feel the urge t protect it over anything and everything, like the way she did with the baby she was carrying.

I felt overwhelmed by it all. I could still be pregnant. Rose was pregnant. A traitor tear streamed down my cheek. I wasn't sure whether it was due to confusion, frustration or upset. I felt them all. Frustrated and confused that I had no idea how to deal with the situation any longer. None of us had really discussed the chance that Rose could get pregnant. I know it shouldn't be this much of a shock, since I kind of figured Em and Rose never stopped trying, but we hadn't factored this outcome into any of our plans. And upset, that here I was sitting outside alone, feeling all of the above. I had no-one to give me a hug and be tell me it was ok, sat with right now. Hell someone to tell me I was being ridiculous would be appreciated. Any reaction would be better than feeling completely forgotten about.

I was being selfish, I know I was, but I couldn't help it. But I also couldn't help but consider that maybe this was how it was going to be now. Rose and Em would concentrate on their pregnancy, and if I was pregnant, I would concentrate on mine, and in nine months time, I would just hand over the baby.

That alone scared the crap out of me. The plan had always been for them to go through the whole process with me. Everything right up until the birth. Every scan, every appointment, even every false alarm. Never had I ever considered going through a pregnancy alone.

Maybe it was for the best that I do this alone, just hand over the baby when I was through. It would mean I wouldn't get attached to any of them, it'd be easier to walk away that way. Well easier in the long run, but walking away even now would hurt.

"Hey, you ok, you kinda snook out on us?" The one person I felt I could depend on, and here he was again. He never let me down.

"Yeah, yeah I'm fine, just I dunno, a little..." I tried laughing off my few stray tears, brushing them harshly from my cheeks.

"Overwhelmed?" He offered. I nodded, forcing a smile. "Yeah, we Cullen's are known for being a tad over the top."

I smiled in acknowledgement, watching as he came to sit beside me. Just his presence comforted me, and had he not been Emmett's Brother, I probably would have been able to confide in him. But as it were, he was, and I couldn't.

"You sure you're ok?"

Was I truly ok? I wasn't so sure any more. I just, I wanted someone to come and tell me exactly how I should be feeling, I wanted someone to understand how I was feeling. I really wanted Em or Rose to come and tell me, that none of this made a difference, that it didn't matter that they were able to have a child themselves, that I was still wanted.

"Ask me again when I've got my emotions under control." I tried to joke, hoping he would buy it.

"Ah, that's right, you get to start to blame everything on hormones now." I wasn't sure whether he continued joking with me because he had bought my joke, or whether he just wanted to make me feel at ease.

Was he right though? Was everything I was feeling down to hormones? Surely not, If I was pregnant, I was only about a week into it. I suppose it could have been the drugs I had been taking to heighten my ability to conceive, but I doubted it. I had been taking them for a while now, and they hadn't affected me thus far.

"Not everything." I replied. "Just... ok... everything." I laughed, being joined immediately by him.

It was crazy, he had only been sat with me a few minutes and he had already succeeded in bringing me out of my dark mood. He did it every time. Like he had some crazy radar that told him I was in danger of entering a dark place and needed saving from myself.

I wished things could be different for us. He was about as perfect as they came. I wished I stood a chance with him. I wished things weren't as complicated, and maybe then... Ah, who was I kidding, even then I wouldn't have stood a chance with him. Perfection didn't date plain Jane's like me. I didn't belong in his world. And he most certainly deserved better than me.

We sat for a few moments, neither of us spoke, just sat comfortably in silence. With Edward, it was always like this. I felt so in tune with him, words weren't always necessary. I sometimes felt like he was the only person that ever fully understood me. And yet he had known me for little over a month. Angela had known me practically my whole life, and still didn't quite understand me to some extent.  
Some people say it's the situation in which you first meet that causes the strength of the relationship you gain with a person. Maybe it was true. I had met Edward under odd circumstances. The night we had met, I had been in a particularly bad place that night, though I hadn't been looking for anything in particular. Even then Edward had been there. He hadn't asked any intrusive questions, just accepted my mood, and tried to lift me from it. And he had, for the most part.  
Even with how I felt now, I couldn't help but be thankful for the situation I was in currently. Without Emmett and Rose, I would probably never have met Edward again. Even though Edward and I would never be, he was at the very least a friend. And Edward as a friend was far better than no Edward at all.

As awful as the events leading up to and including some of the weekend, they were overshadowed by the fact Edward had been with me the whole time. I craved time in his presence,much like an alcoholic craved a drink. Edward was my drug, and as unhealthy as it was for me to want and need him, I was prepared to withstand the pain when I had to finally let him go. Because quite simply the time I would have with him, was worth everything.  
It had been nice having spent such long amounts of time with him, it made me almost dread going back into reality. I was going to have to return to my apartment, my normal every day life at some point, and considering I had work tomorrow, and Rose and Em clearly wanted and needed some space, the time for me to return was drawing near.

"Hey do you think you can give me a ride home soon?" I bit the bullet and asked.

I hoped he would say yes. Even if I was going to miss spending time like I had done this weekend, with Em and Rose, having Edward take me home pretty much guaranteed a little longer in Edward's presence.

"Do you really think you should be going home right now?"

"I kind of have to, I have work tomorrow, so it's back to reality really." I answered.

"If you're sure, then of course I'll take you."

Maybe I was imagining it, but I thought I saw a little disappointment in his eyes. I wasn't sure why he would be, but still.

"Thank you." I whispered, as I leant against him, resting my cheek on his shoulder. "For this weekend I mean, not just for taking me home later."

"You don't need to thank me Bella."

And with that our silence continued. Sitting together as we looked out across the garden, seeing the trees swaying in the breeze. It reminded me of how an old couple may look together, sitting together of an evening, reminiscing over their lives spent together. It made me long for that even more. I wanted it all with Edward. The difference was, I knew I could never and would never have it.

Edward never once asked me why I had come out here alone in the first place. And for that I was grateful. I wouldn't know where to even begin telling him. Or even what to tell him. It wasn't like I could tell him the truth.  
A little later, Emmett and Rose came out onto the porch, both with huge smiles on their faces. It was like they had won the lottery or something. Which I guess to them, they had. They had been constantly told it was unlikely to happen, that I'm sure they both felt that they had more chance of winning the lottery than falling pregnant, but here they were, their every wish coming true.

"Bella, we're really sorry." Emmett's face fell as he began to apologize.

"We just got to caught up in the moment, we didn't mean to forget about you too." Rose looked so remorseful it was heartbreaking.

"Guys it's fine. I'm so happy for you." I smiled, though admittedly, it's wasn't one hundred percent genuine, but it was still more genuine than it had have been before Edward. "I was just feeling a little overwhelmed by everything. For weeks now we've been planning for me to become pregnant, but now..."

"Now I am, and we don't have the first clue as to what to do?" Rose supplied for me.

I have to say I was so relieved that someone felt the same way as me. To know that I wasn't the only one who felt a bit lost right now. I would have however, been more relieved had there been someone to tell me what was going to happen now, what would happen if I too was pregnant.

"Yeah." I nodded, not feeling quite so vulnerable any more.

"We just want you to know though, that no matter what, regardless of whether you are pregnant too, both babies will still be wanted, as will you." Emmett told me.

"Yeah, and we're still going to be with you through everything, as planned. I mean obviously if you are pregnant, but if you aren't, then it's up to you if you want to keep trying for us." Rose added "But we wanted to ask, or really check with you both really, that if you were both ok with it, if for whatever reason neither me or Em can make one of your appointments or anything, we wanted to know Bella whether you would be ok if we sent one of the family with you? And Edward, we wanted to know if you would be that person?"

"You don't have to answer us now, just think about it, talk about it together if you want." Emmett completed.

I didn't know what to say. As much as I liked and trusted Edward, did I want him going to appointments with me? The last thing I wanted was for doctors and nurses to think we were together, assume the baby was ours. That was almost too painful a thought.

"We'll have a talk about it." Edward told them. "Later." he added.

I was grateful for his input. I wasn't sure how much I wanted Edward to be involved, but I wasn't comfortable discussing it right now. I had to think. I did feel comfortable around Edward, he had a way of making me feel relaxed, but would that apply in a doctors office during scans and internal examinations. I wasn't so sure.  
We went back inside with Rose and Emmett, who you could tell were trying so hard to not let talk of the baby be the main focus. I couldn't blame them, I don't think anyone could. But at the same time, the more they spoke of it, the more I felt my own doubts creeping back in.

Even with their declaration that it wouldn't change anything, I still felt doubtful. I guess only time would tell whether or not they would stay true to their words. I did believe them though when they told me they would want both babies, but that didn't stop me wondering whether they would always favour the child Rose would carry. It was crazy, I knew Rose and Em weren't like that, I knew they would love both equally, but it was my irrational fear that they wouldn't.

Also Rose's words earlier, 'my choice if I kept trying for them', if I wasn't pregnant, would I? The whole reason I had agreed to be a surrogate was to help families who couldn't have their own. And whilst Rose and Em getting pregnant was a surprise, they had. I just didn't know whether or not I should continue with the treatment for them.  
Early afternoon, after some light lunch, I excused myself to go and pack all my things from the guest room. Neither Emmett of Rose wanted me to go, but understood when I told them that I had to go back to my apartment at some point, and since I had to go to work, it made sense. They had made Edward promise that he was going to check my apartment thoroughly before he left me alone. It was a little over the top in my books, James was still in custody, and no one else wanted me dead as far as I was aware, but I went along with it if it kept them happy.  
Rose came up just as I was folding my clothes into one of the bags. She hesitated in the doorway, before slipping inside and sitting on the edge of the bed. I could see that something was on her mind. She had a look of concern in her eyes, and they nervous way she sat spoke.

"I just want you to know, that it doesn't make a slight difference into who carries either baby, because they will be loved." She spoke like she really believed I was pregnant too. Maybe it was her wishful thinking.

What do you say to something like that? Do you admit that this was one of your fears? I stood still, watching her fidget, I had no idea what to do. I chose what I suppose could be classed as the easy option, I made my way around the bed, and sat beside her. I nodded once, letting her know I had heard what she had said, and accepted it. I knew if I said anything, I would end up in tears, and probably blab all my fears to her. I couldn't do that. My fears were my issues. She reached for my hand, and clasped it tightly.

"We are so grateful for you, you know." She whispered. "What you're doing for us, it's something we will never be able to thank you enough for." I could hear tears in her voice.

"You don't need to thank me Rose, just seeing you and Em happy, is all I need."

No more was said but we sat side by side, staring at the wall. Maybe it was that we were both in the same situation, fearful of the next nine months of our lives, but I felt very connected with Rose at the minute.

"You're going to call me right, the minute you've been to the doctors?" I asked her. I was desperate to make sure we both parted on a good note. I didn't want to leave here with bad feelings or thoughts.

"The first person." She agreed.

She helped me finish packing, before refusing to let me carry my own bags down the stairs. Rose was a definite Mama Bear, in some ways I got the feeling she would be even more protective than Emmett or Edward. As soon as we returned down stairs, she ordered Emmett to collect my bags and put them in Edwards car, before warning Edward that he had to make sure he carried my things inside. As much as I tried to convince her that I would be fine, she wouldn't hear of it.  
Alice and Jasper left at the same time as Edward and I. Alice got slightly emotional, though I have no idea why, it was almost like she thought she would never see us again. She made both Rose and I promise we would call her to organise another get together. I knew she would organise one though, before we even called.

It was nice though, having another girlfriend to spend time with. Angela would always be one of my best friends, but because she went to college in Seattle, she had a wealth of friends in this area, whereas I, only had the friends I knew from High School, but even then, most either still lived in Forks, or had moved much further away. And any college friends were from Phoenix or else where.  
On the drive home, Edward was pretty quite, speaking rarely in the thirty minute drive back. I took the opportunity to gaze out of the window, I got the feeling that he was dreading something, though I couldn't for the life of me think what it was. Maybe it was having to go back to work. The weekend had been pretty exhausting, enough so that even I felt like calling in sick, but I knew I wouldn't.

"Are you sure about this?" He asked, when we pulled up outside my building.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." I replied, however even I wasn't one hundred percent convinced.

"Ok, let's go check it out first," He told me, getting out of the car and rushing around to my side and opening the door, before I'd even had chance to take off my seatbelt.

I did feel slightly apprehensive walking up the stairs, remembering the last time I had done this had been in a full on blind panic run. Thoughts of what if flew into my mind, wondering what would have happened had I tripped at any point, or hadn't managed to run as fast. What would have happened if James had managed to get to me? Or if Edward hadn't appeared when he had? The thoughts scared me, and I was so grateful for whatever deity had been looking upon me that day.

Edward kept his hand on my lower back the whole time. It was like he was ready to catch me if I suddenly panicked and wanted to escape. Regardless of why he was doing it, it felt encouraging, like he was silently saying, I have your back, I'm here for you. I felt a little shaky just knowing what could have transpired that day.

Reaching my door, I was amazed to find that it looked no different. I knew I'd had to have a complete new door from what Emmett had told me. It was then I realised I hadn't paid for the door, I hadn't even thought about it. I felt so ungrateful.

"Stop worrying about it Bella," Edward said softly.

There he goes again, practically reading my thoughts. If it wasn't Edward, it would quite probably freak me out, but it oddly didn't. Then again, maybe I was just incredibly easy to read, but then it didn't explain why no-one else read me as easily.

"You were glaring at the door." He told me with a chuckle.

I nodded in response, trying to force the thought that the Cullen family had yet again spent money on something for me. I vowed to sit down later and find out who had paid and reimburse them, whether they liked it or not. I was incredibly grateful for their generosity, especially considering having my door replaced was the last thing on my mind this weekend, but a charity case I was not.

Having had all the locks changed, I had to wait for Edward to pull the new key form his pocket. I could see the hesitance in his face. I knew he was torn about whether or not to continue his gentlemanly ways and allow me entrance first, or lead the way to check for any danger, with me safely behind him. Seeing his indecisiveness, I gestured for him to go first with a roll of my eyes.

It was the first time I actually realized that the events over the past few days had affected more than just me. Here Edward was, having probably never felt so anxious about going into an apartment, and now he was entering so slowly, stealthily, his every sense on alert. I hated James for what he had done to me, but seeing what he had done to Edward made me feel blind with fury. He shouldn't have to feel this way, he shouldn't have had to see me the way he did, and he shouldn't have gotten injured coming to my rescue, yet again I might add. I was amazed quite frankly that he was still around. I know had it been me, I would have run for the hills by now.

Closing the door behind our entrance, I was relieved to see that my apartment looked none the worse for wear. There didn't seem to be anything out of place. Edward headed straight for the bedroom with my bags, presumably to put them on the bed so I wouldn't have to carry them at all. He reappeared moments later with a smile on his face, which told me all was well. Someone had clearly tidied.

"Thank you for the ride, and well again for everything." And I was so incredibly grateful.

"Don't even mention it." The sad face was back. "Now are you positive you're going to be ok? I mean I only live a few blocks away, we could pack you a few days worth of work clothes and you could always come stay with me." I was sure I was seeing things, but he looked almost pleased at the suggestion.

"I'll be fine I promise, and you'll be the first to know if I'm not." It was the only thing I could promise. But even now, I knew I would fight my fears tooth and nail before I gave in and contacted him. Not because I didn't want to, but because I had relied on Edward and his family more than enough for a while.

As sad as it was to see him go, it was kind of nice to get back a little privacy. Which is ironic really considering before the whole James thing, I was kind of suffering with a kind of cabin fever, and now, I couldn't wait to be on my own, to not have to worry about entertaining anyone else, to be able to sleep in my own bed. All the simple things you took for granted when you live on your own.

Once the door had closed behind him, and all the locks engaged, I turned back to face my apartment. It was then the dam broke. All my emotions that had played out on me over the course of the weekend, had finally built to such a pitch, that I couldn't stand it any longer. I cried in frustration, in hurt, in anger. I cried because I felt weak for crying in the first place.

James had finally taken a back burner in my mind. My thoughts now consumed by the baby that could be growing inside of me. And of course the baby that was growing inside of Rose. Though both she and Em had promised me that they still wanted both babies equally. Words were easy to say, how could they even know at this point when no bonds had been formed just yet. Would Rose be able to look at both babies and not feel more for one, because she had spent nine months going through everything with one and not the other? Would Emmett feel the same for both, even though one hadn't been nurtured for by his wife, but by me? I was scared, and confused, and not just for me. No matter how much my brain kept telling me that Rose and Em were good people, there were always doubts, that after a while of crying, I came to realize only time would tell. It would be their actions more than their words that proved my fears wrong. For now, I just wanted to enjoy or rather try to enjoy being back in my own home.

My bubble of bliss was abruptly burst at four am when the water pipes began clanging. I was far from impressed, and immediately began missing Rose and Em's guest room. I had, had a full weekend of pretty much uninterrupted sleep, and the pipes clanging and banging was just my bump back to reality. Not a very pleasant one at that.

I managed to sleep on and off, interrupted intermittently throughout the following few hours, until I had to get up. The shower temperature only managed to reach luke warm, but I had to be grateful, it was better than being cold like it usually was. Things were definitely back to reality now, and I didn't like it one little bit.

I was just about to leave my apartment when there was a knock at the door. I practically jumped out of my skin, before I realized that it couldn't be James considering he was still in custody, and it wasn't like he would knock anyway. Still I double checked the spy hole to find Angela stood patiently outside, having come by, as had become our routine, to walk to work with me.

During our walk to work, I filled her in on all the happenings, though she thankfully didn't want all the details revolving around James, but she did want to know everything about my weekend, which then of course brought us to the subject of Rose being pregnant too.

Angela knowing me as well as she did, could tell immediately my feelings on the possibility of dual pregnancies, and though she agreed that I had every right to feel the way I did, and she felt sure that anyone in my position would feel the same. Being the best friend she is though, she did point out in a non-offensive way, that she thought I was being a little irrational with my fears.

By the time we reached work, I had come to the conclusion she was right. I was being irrational. Em and Rose had never done anything that should make me doubt how much they would want both babies. Yes they had reacted much more strongly to their own pregnancy, but who wouldn't when you'd been told countless times it was unlikely to happen.

Feeling better about everything, I managed to focus on my work day, swapping texts back and forth with Edward, letting him know how my day was going. I felt sure he would have had enough of me by now, but it didn't seem that way, with the amount of texting we were doing. We still hadn't spoken about the possibility of him being Emmett and Rose's second if ever they were unable to attend for anything.

It was a lot to think about. But at the same time I couldn't help but feel that the answer on my behalf was an easy one. By no means was I prepared to go to appointments alone. So if Emmett or Rose were unavailable for whatever reason, surely having someone like Edward, whom I trusted explicitly was the right thing. However on Edward's behalf, did he want to have to attend random doctors appointments with me, and even worse case scenario be there at the birth. I wasn't convinced he was. It was a lot to ask, even if he was close to his Brother.

I managed to build up the courage to text him and ask if he wanted to meet up later in the week to discuss Em and Rose's proposal, and he seemed almost enthusiastic about the prospect. I spoke it over with Angela, and she agreed that it would probably be a smart move to have a second. Being prepared for ever eventuality. She was right, it was important, and I figured if Edward didn't really want to do it, then Alice and or Jasper would. I wanted to ask Angela, but it wasn't like the baby was mine, so maybe Rose and Em wouldn't be comfortable having a none family member as a second.

Trying not to think about it more until I at least spoke to Edward about it, I tried to get on with my week. Work kept me busy, even to the point I took some home with me. But it was nice to see that life returned pretty much back to pre James normal, with only a few more people added in here and there.

By Wednesday, I had spoken to Rose, who had been for her scan that morning. She was so excited about the Doctor having confirmed her pregnancy and having given her and expected due date of October twentieth, which made her about two months pregnant already. Thinking back, it lined up pretty perfectly to the time I actually met them, which made sense considering they had just been through their last treatment around that time.

With each passing day, I felt myself feel more happy for them and less concerned about the affects that both of us being pregnant would cause. I spoke to her at least once a day, but unlike other expectant Mothers who often took it for granted that they had gotten pregnant, Rose never once complained about the horrendous morning sickness she was suffering. From what she had said, she was having a particularly hard time with it, but in true Rose fashion, she actually seemed grateful to be experiencing it. I wasn't so sure I would be quite the same. But thankfully I had yet to deal with that side affect.

Having sat and thought about it, I realized there was a plus side and a negative side to Rose being pregnant, and further along than I would be. The positive was that I got a first glance at what to expect. It didn't matter how many books you read, actually being able to see it, was better. The negative though, was the actual seeing it. I was expecting some things to freak me out, and being able to see them, well that may possibly make it worse. The positives did however outweigh the negatives, no matter how much things might freak me out, it was always better to be prepared. Or so I thought right now, maybe my opinion would change once I began truly experiencing hindsight.

**Phew, that was a rough chapter to right, and I'm pretty sure you can tell, but I tried my best, so I hope it wasn't too bad for you guys. Please leave me some love, it is always appreciated :D**


	16. You and me

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there :D

_Big thank you's to my reviewers - **Linz832**, **ButterballBabe**, **Simaril ** who reviewed ever chapter and got me to 100 reviews, **Tinksauble** and **Bandeforever** for both reviews! I'm sorry I haven't had time to reply to you this time, but I really do appreciate you're words **:D :D :D :D**_

Chapter 16

_All of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right  
I'm tripping on words  
You've got my head spinning  
I don't know where to go from here_

Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do  
Nothing to prove  
And it's you and me and all of the people  
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

_Lifehouse - you and me_

The most beautiful woman sat opposite me. Her wavy auburn hair resting lightly across her shoulders before draping down her back slightly. Her deep brown eyes gazed at me like two chocolate pools, so inviting I wanted to swim in them. Her porcelain skin had a pink tinge spreading across her cheeks. She was gorgeous, yet she had no idea. Whenever she blushed at the most simple compliment, I badly wanted to ask each time whether she ever looked in a mirror. She was just so unaware of how much she affected people.

My heart throbbed deeply in apprehension as to what I was about to tell her. My palms were sweating, and I was aware that I kept fidgeting a little. I had never been affected this way before, not even when I had asked Tanya to marry me, I hadn't felt an ounce of nerves that day. So why now? Was it that this mattered more? It quite probably did if I'm honest. I think I always subconsciously knew Tanya and I would never last. I think the only reason I even proposed in the first place was because it was what was expected. Having been together for a few years, and then living together, it was the next step in natural relationship progression.

Bella meant more to me even now, than Tanya ever did at the height of our relationship. So yes, I suppose telling her what I was about to, was a lot more important. More than that, I was more nervous of her answer. I don't think Tanya's answer mattered a great deal, I had known from the start she wouldn't have said no, it was a given. Money marries money you see, in her eyes anyway. She didn't work, therefore she needed someone like me to support her way of life. And since I had been the most eligible bachelor at the time, well there's every answer you'll ever need.

Bella though, didn't need me in her life, she'd chosen to allow me in her life. Well kind of, the fact that I was the Brother of the Father of the baby she could be carrying, may have forced her hand slightly, but still, she made the choice to allow Em's family to be in her life.

Anyway regardless of how I had become to be in her life, or her in mine, we had arranged earlier during the week to meet up for dinner. So after an unproductive day at work, I had excused myself early, much to my Dad's amusement, which lead me to think that he too knew of my feelings for Bella. Straight from work, I headed over to Bella's place of work to meet her, hoping I could persuade her to go straight for dinner instead of having to wait until a little later. The way I saw it, every moment I could have with her was precious, and should be cherished.

The closer I got to her office, the more I felt a spring enter my step. I was like a child on Christmas morning, desperate to open their gifts. Only Bella was far better than a gift. I often found myself bargaining with any of the deity's that if I could have Bella, I would never ask for another thing for as long as I lived. Of course it was something that I couldn't necessarily promise, but I honestly felt like if I had Bella, I would never want for another thing. She was my everything.

When I entered the office building, I headed straight for the reception, where I was greeted by a young girl, quite probably around Bella's age. She spoke in a soft voice, almost like she was scared of making too much noise. I asked politely for Bella, of which she immediately stuttered she would go and let her know I was here.

She wasn't gone but a few minutes, returning to tell me Bella would be out soon. I nodded my thanks, and stepped away. I could feel the receptionists eyes following my every move, it was like she expected me to steal something.

"Edward? I thought we weren't meeting until later?" My angel asked as she appeared before me in the reception area.

"We did, it's just I got out of work early, and thought maybe you'd want to head straight for dinner."

Please say yes, please say yes, I chanted internally. I was pathetic really. Like a lost little puppy. But this is what Bella made me turn into. One word from her and I was a puddle of mush. I highly doubted I could ever say no to her, not that I intended to tell her this of course. You have no idea how much trouble a confession such as that can cause. But it was true, nonetheless.

"Um, yeah, yeah sure. You'll have to give me a few minutes to just grab my things though. Is that ok?" She looked at me suspiciously.

"Yeah, no that's great. I don't mind waiting."

I watched her retreat, and felt a slight pang in my chest. I hated whenever she walked away from me, even if it was only to gather her things to come back to me. Just being so close, yet so far, I hated it. And yes I was aware that I was becoming more like a girl every day, but it was yet another thing Bella brought out in me.

She returned five minutes later, waving goodnight to the receptionist, who returned the gesture, and we were on our way. We weren't far from down town Seattle, so I used the crowds as an excuse to grab hold of her hand, so not to lose each other in the crowd. The moment my skin touched hers, it was like an electric currant surged through me, racing up and down my body. Goose pimples, popped up all over my skin, but I was in heaven. True and utter heaven.

"So, you got out of work early huh?" Bella asked me after a few moments of silence as we navigated through the streets.

"Yeah, it was pretty slow today, guess it pays to be your own boss." I chuckled.

It hadn't been that slow at all, nor had it been particularly busy, but whatever I had been doing, my mind hadn't been far from Bella. After the third set of paperwork had been sent back to me because I had made altercations each time, yet failed to sign, it became blatantly obvious that I wasn't going to be of any use. I didn't feel too bad though, it was rare that I ever cut out of work early, or even had sick days. Vacation time was another thing I had to be forced into taking, and strangely enough, it wasn't my Dad, my own boss that forced me. It was my Mom.

It had become more of a habit to work though. After Tanya and I split, I had thrown myself into my work, not because I didn't want to go home, like everyone assumed, or that I was running away from my problems. No it was more like relief, to not have to think about her, to not have to explain to people why we had separated. Only my Dad ever really understood my need for work during that time. It wasn't that I needed to forget Tanya, it was that I wanted to, and working gave me plenty more to think about.

"Must be nice." Bella laughed.

"It's ok." I said in as dull a voice as I could, followed by us both breaking out in laughter.

We walked for a little longer, just being with her like this felt so natural, so right. I guess to any onlooker, we looked like any ordinary couple, having a late afternoon stroll together. Though the walk was anything but romantic, and it definitely wasn't intended to be that way, but I couldn't help but think that this, whatever it was that was between us, would always be the same, even if our relationship did progress further.

Being with Bella, even in the most unromantic of ways, it was easy. I never felt as though I wasn't enough, because as clichéd as it may sound, she made me feel complete. She was the missing piece to my puzzle. I had never felt for anyone the way I felt for her, and I doubted I ever would.

This was why I was nervous, it was like awaiting sentencing. As far as I was concerned Bella was it for me. She was what I had been waiting for. I had absolutely no idea how she would respond, I could only hope, she felt the same. I was to put it bluntly, putting my heart on the line. It scared me to death. I had never done this, never felt as though, the rest of my life depended on her answer.

I had put so much pressure on myself where Bella was concerned, and honestly, I hope she didn't notice. I didn't want her to feel an ounce of pressure. I wanted her response to be genuinely what she wanted, and only what she wanted. Not what anyone else wanted her to say. If she didn't want me, then that was fine, I would live with that, and fight tooth and nail to remain in her life, even if it was only as friends.

That was another reason why I knew I loved her more than anything. I was prepared to give her up if I needed to. I wouldn't force myself into her life. I needed, no wanted her to want me, and was prepared to be there in whatever capacity she would allow.

"So, where do you want to go to dinner?" Bella asked me.

"I don't know, what do you feel like?"

"Um, anything really. Something simple, quick and easy." Bella replied.

"Baby, you'll learn I never do anything simple, quick and easy." I couldn't help tease her.

I was rewarded by her gorgeous laughter, followed by a snort, that at first she looked horrified by, but then quickly returned to the cute little giggles. It was times like this I wondered if I would ever find something about Bella that I didn't love.

"Ok, so how about, we go back to my place, we can make something simple or order in, and just veg out in front of the TV?"

Yes ,this was a perfect plan. It would mean we were alone, with plenty of privacy, and most importantly for me, it would be a comfortable setting. I could relax which surely would help when I finally told her what I planned to.

"Sounds perfect." Bella replied eagerly.

I lead the way back to my apartment, waving proudly to my doorman when he saw me enter with Bella. I wanted everyone to know she was with me. I was behaving almost like I had an A-list celebrity on my arm, though to me Bella was far better. I was so proud to be holding her hand, I was selfish enough to want people to think we were together, even if we weren't. Especially other men. I didn't want any other man to have Bella.  
I took Bella's coat from her, hanging it up in the closet along with my own. Her coat looked stupidly amazing at the side of mine. it was like a sign of our lives merging together. And oh how I wanted it to merge in a million other ways. I watched her sit at the breakfast bar, as I headed to the refrigerator and began rooting around, calling out to her the ingredients I had.  
In the end we decided on a stir fry. Bella offered multiple times to help, but each time I turned her down. Seeing her sat watching me, just talking with me about her day. It felt normal. I felt my mind wandering, wishing that it was a normal thing for me to have Bella here in my apartment, or even in a house we had bought together.  
If I was honest, there wasn't a single area in my apartment that I hadn't envisioned Bella being in. I could see the two of us sat cuddled up on the sofa watching scary movies under a throw, Bella hiding her face in the crook of my arm at every scary scene. I could see us sat eating breakfast together every morning, before leaving our home together to head to work. Of course I would drop her off on my way, and pick her up at the end of the day. I would try my hardest to meet her for lunch a few times a week.  
I knew I was getting ahead of myself, but I couldn't help it, I wanted that kind of life, and I wanted it with Bella. I wanted to introduce Bella to people as my girlfriend, my fiancée, my wife. It was all very selfish, but it was ultimately my goal. I was just hoping and praying right now, that it was something Bella may want at some point. I wasn't afraid to admit that I would be heartbroken if she didn't.

"Edward, are you ok, you seem really on edge?" Bella asked me quietly, after I'd singed the tip of my finger on the flame of the hob for the third time in as many minutes.

"What? Oh yeah, yeah, I just have a few things on my mind." And it wasn't a lie, it just happened to be her that was clouding my brain right now.

"Do you, do you want to talk about it?"

Did I want to talk about it right now? I wasn't sure. I know I had planned at some point to talk about it, but was now the right moment? I knew I could only put it off for so long. Taking a deep breath, thinking it was really now or never, I turned the stove off, knowing it would be futile to try and concentrate on talking to Bella as well as cooking dinner. At least one would turn out in a disaster, and though it was hopefully going to be the food, I didn't really want to have to break off from talking because there was something burning.

"Yeah, um, I have... I have something to tell you." God I was like a nervous teenager, asking his high school crush to the prom, except this was far more important. "I've been um... meaning to tell you for a while."

I felt like I was sweating profusely, my hands were shaking, and words kept getting caught in my throat. Bella looked at me with concern. I could imagine the things that were going through her mind, wondering what it was that seemed so bad, that I needed to tell her.

"Edward, it's ok, whatever it is, it'll be ok." She told me soothingly, as I reached to wipe the non-existent sweat from my forehead with the sleeve that covered my upper arm.

God I hope she was going to stay true to her word when I finally got what I wanted to say out. I really and truly wanted to believe her, but even I wasn't so sure that her response would be the one I was hoping for.

"Bella, you see... the thing is." Oh boy this was hard. "The thing is, I really like you." There I said it.

"I really like you too Edward." She looked confused.

"No Bella... I _really_ like you."

A silence hung in the air. Unlike all the other silences we'd had between us, this one was full of tension. It was uncomfortable and awkward. Bella looked both scared and awkward. This in turn made me feel even more nervous. This wasn't what she wanted, I had just made everything worse between us. There would be no going back to that easy camaraderie that we had shared previously. I had always hoped that no matter what we would be able to remain friends, but the more the seconds ticked by, the less the possibility was eventual.

"Edward... I... I don't..."

I shot up in bed, panting, sweating. My eyes flew around the room, trying to make out objects in the dark, my brain desperately fighting against the sleep that was still clouding my brain, trying to figure out whether it had all been a dream. It was a vicious circle, I couldn't calm down until I had figured out whether it had been a dream, no a nightmare, that Bella had begun to refuse me.

After a good ten minutes of calming my breathing, I was conscious enough to know it had all been a nightmare. Checking my bedside clock, I saw it was only four am. Four am of the day I was actually meeting Bella.

We had arranged earlier in the week to meet up to discuss the proposal Emmett and Rosalie had put before us. Honestly, I had been ready to agree there and then, but the only thing stopping me was the awkwardness that would be caused had Bella refused. I didn't want her to feel forced into anything, and if me being around during her appointments made her feel uncomfortable, then she had every right to say so.

Rosalie had already pre-warned us weeks ago, that anything Bella wanted, Bella got. She was the one putting her body through something for someone else. Bella had nothing to gain from this. She was the one that was going to go through mood swings, morning sickness, weight gain, cravings, back ache, fatigue. Thinking of just those things alone, not to mention anything else pregnancy may cause, made me realize exactly what Bella was willing to put herself through.

I do have to admit, the idea of seeing Bella cope with all those things, help her through, be there at appointments, it did make me jealous. It was crazy really, agreeing to be a second, a back up, when I had serious feelings for the person. I knew with every step of the pregnancy, I would be wishing the baby was mine, wishing I could be experiencing with Bella, what Emmett and Rose were experiencing together.

I also figured maybe Bella would like or rather need some outsiders support. It was always going to be tough on her, having to do this for someone else, but after finding out that Rose had actually managed to conceive, well, I couldn't say I blamed Bella at all for her reaction.

Finding her that morning sat on the back porch of Rose and Em's house, looking so lost and alone, my heart literally ached for her. I could see her confusion. Who could blame her? All along she had thought she was doing this brilliant, selfless thing for Rose and Em because they were unable to do it themselves, then low and behold, it happens for them.

Not only that, whilst they had been celebrating with each other, including myself, Jasper and Alice, Bella, had not once been thought about. It was almost like we had all forgotten that she too could be pregnant. There was no wonder really that she felt so unimportant. I can't say I would blame her if she thought Em and Rose wouldn't want the baby she was could be carrying, either.

It had only been when I had turned around and found Bella was missing that I realized how unfair we had been to her. We had all ignored her, made her feel like an outcast. I got why Em and Rose were so thrilled, their getting pregnant was akin to a miracle for them, but still, to forget about Bella the way we all had was unforgivable.  
She had excused her behaviour by saying it was because she felt overwhelmed, but I wasn't sure how much I believed her. Bella always seemed to hide her true feelings from everyone. It was like she was almost ashamed of showing her weaknesses. I guessed that it was just the kind of person she was, but I also had the odd feeling that it was linked to her past somehow.  
Her past was still something that was a mystery to me. I wanted to know her, to know everything about her. There was still a side of her that she kept closed off to everyone. To my knowledge, no-one else knew any more about her than I did. I had a feeling Seth and in turn Alec did, but Seth had known Bella for most of his life.  
Each time I spoke to Seth I desperately fought the urge to question him on Bella further. He knew things that I wanted to know. It was pointless asking however, as I knew Seth well enough to know that he would never betray Bella's confidence. If Bella wanted us to know about her past, she would tell us.

Bella was now thoroughly consuming my every thought. Sleep was not going to happen for me, this much I was sure of. So at turned four am, I was sat in bed with my laptop on my knee, trying to catch up on some work, more so to attempt to divert my brain from thoughts of Bella. I wasn't as successful as I hoped I would be, which only made me dread the rest of the day.  
My dream had plagued me. I hadn't really considered telling Bella my feelings that evening, but even if I had considered it, after the dream or rather nightmare, there was no chance now. I had been thoroughly put off. Don't get me wrong, I knew at some point I would have to either get over her, or tell her, but tonight was now definitely never going to happen, not that it was anyway.  
I arrived at work much earlier than usual, my Dad was stood at Mrs Cope desk talking to her. Both looked up in surprise when they saw me enter. My Dad looked suspicious whilst Mrs Cope managed to mask her surprise quite well and greeted me cheerfully, before asking if I would like a cup of coffee. My answer was an enthusiastic yes, knowing I would only survive the day with copious amounts of caffeine.

"Are you ok Son?" My Dad asked once Mrs Cope was out of ear shot.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just woke at like four am, and couldn't get back to sleep." I replied.

"Any reason in particular?" He raised an knowing eyebrow.

"No, not really."

It was the first time I had ever not felt able to talk to my Dad about my problems. Both my parents had brought us all up to know they were always there for us, that we could go to them with any problem and they would love us regardless. We were a very open family, growing up to believe a problem shared is a problem halved or solved, kind of thing. And whilst I still believed that, I wasn't so sure that my Dads advise would be advice I would want to hear. And sometimes you just didn't want to hear certain things.  
My Dad simply nodded, accepting my answer, though he knew I would go to him if I needed him later. That was the great thing about both my parents. They accepted our decisions, never pushing to get answers, always knowing we would go to them if we needed to.  
Once Mrs Cope returned with my coffee, I escaped to my office, where thankfully work had piled up and I was able to lose myself in the monotony of the work. It was days like this I was thankful for the amount of work I was expected to do each day. I worked straight through lunch, never even really noticing the pang of hunger I felt. In fact had Mrs Cope not returned from her lunch hour, placing a meat sub on my desk with a knowing smile, I wouldn't have even noticed it.  
I spent the afternoon however clock watching, counting the hours, the minutes before I was to meet Bella. Like in my dream we had arranged to meet straight after work, though had yet to decide where we were going to eat. For fear my dream would be an omen, I knew I would not be asking Bella to go back to mine so I could cook. Besides, my dream fridge was better stocked than my reality fridge.

I left work half an hour early, it was a Friday, so most everyone started their weekends early, after having put in extra hours in during the week. Even my Dad was gone, and Mrs Cope was just finishing up. She bid me goodbye, reminding me to have a better weekend than last. Though she had yet to meet Bella, both my dad and I had told her plenty about her.

Bella didn't work far from my office, so I quickly made it to her office building, unsurprised to see it resembled nothing of my dream, and for that I was relieved. The receptionist was in the middle of a call, and after excusing herself from the caller and asking me how she could help, she had pointed me in the direction of Bella.

After getting out of the elevator, the open floor plan gave me a view of pretty much every desk, including Bella's. She hadn't noticed me, and was staring intently at her computer screen. She had pulled her hair into a messy bun, and had what looked to be a pencil stuck into the bun. She looked amazingly cute, but in a sexy way too.

Keeping my eyes on her, I began weaving in and out of the desks, desperately wanting to reach her. It felt like with every step I took, the room got bigger and bigger, and Bella got further and further away. I had to keep reminding myself it wasn't a dream, that it was just my imagination.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" A young woman, maybe about Bella's age suddenly jumped in front of me.

"Um, no I'm ok thank you." I replied politely.

"I'm sorry, but you can't just wander into the office,"

This woman was thoroughly annoying me, and she had barely said a handful of words to me. She was preventing me from getting to my Bella, and for that, she was skating on thin ice.

"That's fine, but I'm here for Bella." I went to move around her, but she blocked my way again.

I had been raised with manners, and as much as I wanted to just push this woman from my path, I didn't want to cause Bella any problems at work.

"Bella?" I noticed her looking me up and down, as if assessing me.

"Yes Bella. Bella Swan." I clarified, losing my patience more and more with every second.

"I'm sorry..." She began, clearly wanting me to supply my name, but this I refused. "_Sir_," She added on upon seeing me refusal. "Staff are not allowed visitors at their desks, so why don't you come sit with me until Bella's ready for you." She suggested.

This time as she looked me up and down, it was in more than an assessing sense. She was blatantly checking me out. Her eyes roaming up and down my body, almost like a lioness would look at it's prey. However this lioness had bitten off more than she could chew, because I wasn't willing to be anyone but Bella's prey.

Besides even if I didn't feel for Bella the way I did, this woman would be as far from my ideal partner as you could get. Taking a second to fully take in her appearance only solidified what I already knew. She had corn silk coloured hair, that to be honest looked as though it was bleached that colour, since there was almost an inch of dark root showing, she had what appeared to be an orange tint to her skin, from what I guessed was too many visits to the tanning salon. Her nails were painted a bright crimson red to match the lipstick, that was also noticeably on the too perfectly white teeth when she smiled. She wore a tight white skirt with a pink blouse that had the top buttons open, in what I assumed was a deliberate way to show off what I honestly expected to be false cleavage. All in all she looked about as fake as you could get. She was the kind of woman that made men want to run in fear for the hills.

I looked desperately toward Bella, hoping we had caught her attention ,wanting her to come and save me from this woman's fake talons. She wasn't at her desk though, she was over by the fax machine, her back to us.

"Lauren, you know that's bullshit, Jane hasn't enforced that rule since she took over." A voice from beside me suddenly spoke.

I turned to find a tall slim woman beside me. Her long dark hair was straight, hanging to her shoulders, and a side fringe sweeping practicality into her eyes that were behind a pair of thin oval glasses, that were unusual but seemed to suit her completely. She was dressed demurely in a plain white shirt and black a-line skirt with a pair of modest heels on her feet. She looked professional and smart, everything that this Lauren wasn't.

Lauren let out a huff and sat heavily in her seat, clearly perturbed at her decision being overridden. And by the looks of it, not by someone senior to herself.

"I'm Angela," She gestured for me to follow. "You must be Edward, right?" She asked once we were out of earshot of Lauren.

"Yes." I nodded, grateful that she had not only rescued me from Lauren, but was now seemingly taking me to Bella. "It's nice to meet you Angela." I offered my hand and gave hers a quick shake.

"Likewise." She smiled widely, almost knowingly. It made me wonder how much Bella had told her about me. "Listen, I know you're going out for dinner, but if I were you, I would steer clear of anywhere that serves fish."

"Fish?" It honestly didn't click in my mind why I had to steers clear of it at first.

"Yeah, um, it makes her feel sick." She whispered.

"Ah, I see, thanks for the heads up." And I was, truly grateful.

"You're welcome." And there was that smile again. "Take a seat and I'll go let her know you're here." And with that she rushed across the rest of the office to alert Bella to my presence.

I watched her go over to Bella, and say something, followed again by that smile. It was like a knowing smirk if anything. Like she knew something we didn't and she knew we knew it. Bella turned and her face brightened with a huge smile, giving me a little wave before holding her hand indicating she would be five minutes. I nodded my response, laughing under my breath when Angela said something else and Bella leant over to swat her on the arm.

Whilst I was waiting for her, I took the opportunity to take in my surroundings. Bella's desk was smaller than my own , though to be fair she didn't exactly have her own office that afforded room for a larger one. There was some slight clutter, or rather what I classed as clutter, but quite probably to Bella it was all neatly organised. She had a photo frame beside her monitor, and a few photos stuck to the walls that made her little cubical. Most looked as though they were of her and Angela and another man on nights out. Feeling more curious, I reached for the frame, turning it to see a photo of a group of young children. Right bang in the middle was a six year old Bella. I knew she was six because of the huge birthday badge she was wearing on her sweater.

Looking at the photo intently, the six year old Bella was surrounded by a handful of friends, and she was dressed in a little yellow party dress. She had the most cheekiest little smile on her face, all cherub cheeks, the blush I had come to know was there, spreading across her face. I managed to pick out a younger Seth, who looked as though he was up to no good, the mischievous little smirk grinning back at me. There were two more little boys and girl, the little girl looked very much like Angela, which made sense, since Bella had mentioned they had been friends since there were kids. Behind them was an older girl and boy. They looked to be in their teens, and I recognised the boy as being the same one who was in the pictures that had freaked me out the very first night I met Bella, who I vaguely remember she had called Jake. So I assumed the girl beside him was his girlfriend, possibly even the bride whom she had been maid of honour for.  
Seeing a young Bella, made me wish I had known her. I could imagine a cute little Bella running around, teasing all the boys. She had to have driven every single male in her high school crazy. And I would have definitely have been included with them had we attended the same school.

"Hey," Bella suddenly sat in front of me.

"Hey, sorry I know I'm a little early." I replied with a sheepish smile as I replaced the frame in it's original position.

"I'll be ready to go in just a second," She told me as she began packing her things up.

I watched her work, she had such an ease about her, so confident in everything she was doing. It was such a change to other areas of her life, where I had noticed how unsure of herself she could be. Maybe it was because she hadn't known us long enough to be this at ease in every area of her life around us.

"Right, let's get out of here." She said as she stood from her desk.

I wrapped my arm around her shoulders as we walked across the room, bidding goodnight to Angela as we went. The closer we got to Lauren's desk, the more I could feel her eyes watching us intently.

"Goodnight Bella, have a good weekend." She called loudly as we walked past her desk. Her voice went through me, it was so nasally and whiny.

"Um, yeah, thanks. Night." Bella replied, her voice surprised. I glanced at her seeing a matching expression.

Neither of us spoke until we got outside, where Bella began giggling. I looked at her oddly, wondering what it was that had amused her, though I had a feeling it had been Lauren's rather forced cheerful goodbye.

"I think Lauren may have been trying to impress you." Bella laughed, leaning into me a little more. "She has never said goodnight to me, never mind telling me to have a good weekend. In fact I'm pretty sure she doesn't even like me."

"Well, if it hadn't been for Angela, I'm pretty sure I would have been scarred for life."

We began walking, neither of us seeming to care where it was we were walking, our laughter over Lauren had completely sidetracked us. As we walked, my arm still firmly around Bella's shoulders, I told her about what had happened before Angela had rescued me, which Bella apologized pointlessly for, for not noticing me sooner. She then went on to summarize some of the incidents that had happened between them. I had to admit after hearing some of the stories, it seemed Lauren had something against not just Bella, but Angela too. Some of them were hilarious though, and showed Lauren for her true colours.  
We found ourselves in a small diner, greasy food galore, but the moment Bella had smelt the food, I knew there was no way I was getting her to go anywhere else. But as I had come to learn, especially in regards to myself, anything Bella wanted, Bella was going to get. We sat opposite each other in the corner booth we had chosen, where I fought the urge to reach for her hand.

"You had your doctors appointment this week right?" I asked after a moments silence, determined I wasn't going to let there be any awkward moments between us, even though we never had, had them before. My dream had freaked the hell out.

"Oh um yeah, only to check my levels of something, that even I don't really understand."

"Do you know if you are yet or..." I wanted to know everything.

"He seems to think so. My hormone levels or something are up. I don't fully understand it all, but Rose does." She laughed a little.

"He?"

"Yeah, Dr Gerandy. He's really great. He's Rose's doctor too, so he's kinda familiar with our 'situation',"

"What can I get you?" A waitress appeared rudely interrupting us, which really you didn't expect much better in an establishment like this.

Bella ordered the biggest cheeseburger they had, with a side orders of fries, onion rings and a large sprite. I ordered the same, thinking how good it sounded, plus it meant the waitress would leave us quicker than if I was to order something different. When she had ordered the food it had sounded a lot, but that was nothing compared to when it actually arrived. Even I began to wonder how I was going to manage eating it all, let alone tiny Bella.

Bella dug in immediately, pausing when she noticed my amused expression. I shook my head and began eating with her, not wanting to make her feel subconscious. After all she was going to be eating for two now.

"My God, this is amazing." Bella declared half way through her burger.

I couldn't help but laugh at her this time. She was seriously enjoying the burger, eating like this was going to be her last meal before she was dropped off into the desert.

"What?" Bella asked, having noticed my amusement. "I feel like I haven't eaten anything all day, the sushi Angela bought herself for lunch was just ugh, and put my appetite off."

"So I take it morning sickness has arrived?"

"Um, maybe, I don't know. My stomach certainly didn't agree with Angela's sushi, but I haven't thrown up in the morning yet."

For the rest of the meal we shared small talk, but nothing substantial. Just being in Bella's company was more than enough for me. We both managed to finish the majority of our meals, only leaving a few fries and onion rings each, but I could still see Bella eyeing up the dessert menu. I could tell we were both avoiding talking about the real reasons we had met up. To be honest the way Bella seemed to be avoiding the subject, only made me think the worst. Think that she didn't want me involved. Which she had every right to feel, but still I really hoped she didn't.

"So..." I began nervously, after finally deciding one of us had to bring is up at some point. "Um, what Em and Rose want us to do... How do you, um, how do you feel about it?"

I felt myself hold my breath, in one way dreading the answer she was going to give. It was all down to her now. She would either want me or she wouldn't. In all honesty, I suppose her answer would give me a vague idea of how she felt about me. Not that I was expecting her to like me romantically or anything, but her choice would be a kind of indicator.

"I... er... well yeah," Yes, she was definitely about as nervous as I was about this subject. "Ok, if I tell you something, do you promise not to tell anyone?"

"I promise." I replied, no hesitance on my part at all.

I reached my hand across the table, taking hers in my own gently, trying to show her physically that she could trust and depend on me. I waited patiently for her to gather her bearings, wondering at the same time what on Earth it was, that she didn't want anyone else to know.

"One of my erm, biggest worries about this whole thing, is that... well Rose and Em wouldn't be around for things you know." She practically whispered, as though she was ashamed of what she was saying and didn't want anyone to overhear. "Not that I think they're going to abandon me or anything like that." She rushed to clarify. "It's just that... wow... ok this is hard to explain... It's just that the idea of going to scans or even going through labour alone because for whatever reason they couldn't be there. Well it scares the crap out of me." She looked fearful of my reaction to her confession. "I mean, it's fine, it really is if you don't want to be... well the one, I'm sure maybe... Alice would do it."

WHOA! There was no-way I was passing this opportunity to my Sister, no-way, no-how was that happening. Bella's answer was like all my Christmases come at once. I was honoured that she wanted me to be the one to be backup for them. Hell I was even excited about the opportunity to see my niece or nephew grow. But even more than that, surely being backup would mean keeping in touch with Bella lots more.

"Actually, I want to be the one. Even when they first asked, I would have said yes, but I just didn't want you to think you had to have me. I mean I'd get it if you weren't comfortable with me being there and stuff."

"No, no I'm fine with it if you are. I mean sure I hope Em and Rose don't have to miss anything, but having you there as a substitute is pretty good too." She smiled shyly at me.

Wow, she had to have had no idea how happy she had made me feel right now. For the first time since the news of Bella being Rose and Em's surrogate, I found myself actually looking forward to Bella being the one they had chosen. As hard as I knew it was going to be, there were plenty of upsides to this whole situation, and I was going to try my best to reap in the benefits of them.

"Besides, you might not even be needed yet. I won't really know for sure whether I am pregnant for a few weeks." I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment when she said this. "But I think until I know for sure, I'm just going to assume I am. The doctor seems to think the rise in my levels is a good sign.. so."

We sat in the diner a while longer, Bella admitting that she thought she was being stupid for feeling the way she did about the possibility of having to have gone to appointments alone. It was only when I promised her that I would have felt the same that she began feeling a little better. I mean God forbid there be anything wrong with the baby at any stage, just the idea of Bella having gone to that particular appointment alone and having to be told that information was enough to scare me, so I knew without a doubt that it would be worse for Bella.

Towards the end of the evening, Bella began showing signs of tiredness. At first I put it down to all pregnant women going through the fatigue stages, but was completely shocked when she admitted she couldn't remember when she had, had a full nights sleep without being woken by water pipes clanging.

I knew her apartment building was old, but Jesus, no-one wanted to be constantly woken, like she explained she was. I was even more shocked when I encouraged her to report it to her landlord, only for her to tell me that both she and a number of her neighbours had reported it to both their superintendent and the landlord a few times now.

Knowing the first thing I would be doing on Monday morning was using my contacts to try and get this problem fixed for her, in the meantime I offered her to come and stay in my guest room. A quick selfish thought was that if she had agreed, I maybe wouldn't have been in such a rush to help her solve the problem, since the idea that, the longer it took, the longer she would stay with me.

She thanked me for my offer, and even went as far as saying she may take me up on the offer maybe next week, depending on how much sleep she was able to get. Yet another thing for me to look forward to.

I walked her home, straight to her door, where we both lingered, unsure exactly how to part ways. I couldn't deny it had felt a little like a date, but obviously I didn't want to push those thoughts onto Bella. Seeing the awkwardness become much clearer between the two of us, I mentioned that my Mom had sent a message with my Dad for me to ask her to dinner next Wednesday evening, since she wanted to tell us all about her trip to Forks at the beginning of the week to check on the status of the house.

Bella visibly tensed at the mention of Forks, only fuelling my curiosity and suspicion that there had definitely been something in the past that made Bella fear her return to Forks. I was determined to find out eventually, but first I had to gain more of her trust, and clearly tonight was not the night to try and force further details from her, regardless of how much I wanted to.

So with a lingering kiss on her cheek, I bid her goodnight, telling her I would call her, and not to hesitate calling me if she needed anything, or even if she wanted to come crash at my place. And with that, I left her alone for the evening, looking forward to seeing much more of her in times to come.

**WOW this was one mixed chapter. Most parts came easily, in fact I wrote pretty much most of it in emails to myself whilst I was in college – yes I was that bored lol. But then there were parts I really struggled with. Anyway however you felt about it, please please please leave me a review. Thank you in advance :D**


	17. I turn to you

Disclaimer : I Don't own anything except for the plot and any original characters.

_**BIG, MASSIVE, HUGE**__ thank you's to my three amazing reviewers - __**Tinksauble**__, __**Linz832**__ and __**Bandeforever16**__ - thank you so muchy ou guys for taking the time to review, it really does mean a lot that you constantly take the time to let me know what you think. __**You guys ROCK!**_

Chapter 17

_When I'm lost in the rain  
In your eyes I know I'll find the light  
To light my way, when I'm scared losing ground  
When my world is going crazy you can turn it all around  
And when I'm down you're there pushing me to the top  
You're always there giving me all you've got_

_For a shield, from the storm for a friend, for a love  
To keep me safe and warm, I turn to you  
For the strength to be strong, for the will to carry on  
For everything you do, for everything that's true, I turn to you_

_I turn to you - Christina Aguilera_

I awoke with a start, yet again, for the fifth morning in a row from the banging and clanging of the pipes. This was getting beyond ridiculous, I actually couldn't remember the last time I had, had a full nights sleep without being woken. Well yes, I could, it had been when I was staying at Emmett and Rose's, and that had been a week ago.

I was at a loss of what to do next. I had complained numerous times to both the super and the landlord, as had a number of other people in the building, but nothing had yet to be done about it. A few people had even moved out due to the noise, and honestly I was also considering my options. My only problem was, I couldn't afford much better than this anyway. There were limited places that were as cheap as this. To move to a more higher scale apartment, I would have to have a room mate, and that was something I wasn't exactly too keen on. The idea of sharing living space with a stranger, wasn't too appealing, regardless of the fact after a while we would get to know each other. What if we never got to like each other, we drove each other mad. Yeah, sharing a home with a stranger, wasn't for me.

I turned to the clock and saw that it was close to six am, which honestly, was a decent hour compared to the times I had been woken during the week. Still not an ideal time for a weekend, but at least it hadn't been four am like it had Friday morning. I was hesitant to get out of bed though, every day since Thursday, the moment I sat up in bed, my stomach had rolled and I had, had to, make a dash for the bathroom. Yes I was aware it was most likely morning sickness, but I hadn't told Em or Rose yet. I didn't want to get anyone's hopes up. I even hated that I had omitted the fact from Edward last night. When he had asked, I had told him I hadn't, but I couldn't help it. Until I was sure, then I didn't want to make a big deal out of it.

Slowly, I moved from my bed, delighted that for once, I was actually able to make it all the way out without feeling the nausea bubble away. In fact I managed to get all the way to the kitchen before I felt it, and then I had to dash back down the hallway, crashing through the bathroom door, just in time for my morning meeting with the toilet bowl.

I had found once I had been sick I did feel much better, but a big draw back was that starting your day this way, made me feel 'off' for the rest of the day. Most of the time I just wanted to sleep. Had it not been for Angela a few times this week, I would have fallen asleep at my desk, half way through whatever it was that I was editing.

I sat for a few moments wanting to make sure I was truly finished, before deciding a nice long warm shower was in order. And then since the banging had finished, I may even be able to get back in bed and get another hour or so of sleep. I desperately needed it. I was so worn out, there were even deep purple bruises appearing under my eyes. It was even more important now that I looked after myself.

My plan for a shower didn't happen though. The moment I turned on the water, nothing but freezing cold water came through. Another luxury it seemed this building didn't offer any more – hot water.

My annoyance was growing, all I wanted was to sleep a full night in my nice warm bed, without any interruptions, and a hot shower once in a while, but again, no. The world seriously had it in for me lately, and honestly I was getting tired of it. I didn't ask for much, in fact I was doing something pretty selfless, but no I still couldn't catch a break.

After gathering some snack foods from the kitchen, I spent my day camped out in my bed watching cheesy chick flicks, keeping warm under the duvet. I dozed on and off, though never for too long, but enough to feel a little better.

Edward text me a few times, asking how I was and repeating the offer of his guest room, as he had on Friday night when we went out for dinner. I was sorely tempted to take him up on it, the idea of a nice warm bed, uninterrupted sleep and hot water to bathe in, sounded like heaven right now. But I felt like I shouldn't rely on him for these things, sure he was a friend and friends helped other friends out, but we were talking about opening his house up to me. Besides I knew if I went to his apartment, I would never want to leave, and I was sure the last thing he wanted was a pregnant woman cramping his style.

No I would cope, I would have to, and only would I rely on him if things got even worse. But hopefully by then I would have found somewhere else to live. Not that I actually wanted it to come to that. I like my apartment, it was mine, I had decorated it all on my own. My very first own home, and though I knew I would never live here for the rest of my life, when I had signed the lease, it had been for the foreseeable future.

By the time Monday morning rolled around, my mood hadn't lifted at all, in fact considering I had, had to have a freezing cold shower yet again, on top of having the worst bout of morning sickness so far, I was amazed my mood wasn't worse than it already was, even if it did make it more and more obvious with each day, that I was truly pregnant. I was tired of being tired. I'd had more cold showers in the past few months than what was really necessary for a lifetime. It was ridiculous really that I for some reason wasn't getting any hot water. Next I'd be returning home to find my toilet wouldn't flush. And that would be the final straw. I walked into work, feeling much worse than the normal Monday morning blues.

I sat at my desk with a huff, desperately wanting a giant cup of coffee, but no, I wasn't even allowed that, in 'my condition'. Jesus pregnancy was bad enough without sucking all the good stuff out of life, like caffeine. Today was the first day since I stopped drinking caffeine, that I truly missed it. I craved it. And to make it worse, all the colleagues around me, had stinking cups full of it, never even appreciating that rich aroma. I had never really been a morning person, but today it was really showing.

"Good morning Bella." Jane greeted me, as she walked in with Angela.

"Is it?" I muttered thankful that she hadn't heard me and quickly greeted her in a more appropriate manner.

"Oh someone got out of bed the wrong side this morning." Angela teased. "Oops sorry." She noticed my longing look to her Starbucks cup, and moved it out of sight. "Ah withdrawals have finally hit huh?"

"If ever there was a morning I needed coffee, it's this one." I grunted in response.

Angela had always been a naturally cheerful person, and I thought I had been, ok, not as much as her, but still, I liked to think I spent most of my time in good moods, but I knew today was not going to be one of those days.

We filled each other in on our weekends activities, Angela wanting a minute by minute run down of my evening with Edward, which I was more than happy to oblige. Just the thought of Edward seemed to lift my spirits slightly. Afterwards, Angela filled me in on hers and Ben's upcoming trip to California to see Mike and Jess. We all kept in touch pretty regularly, but since the end of college, none of us had, had the opportunity to visit each other. I had wanted to go with Angela and Ben, but Jane hadn't been so keen on allowing the both of us time off work at the same time, plus I didn't really want to go and be the fifth wheel. Besides it was an added expense I could do without when both Mike and Jess would be visiting for thanksgiving later in the year.

"So Bella, which escort service did you use to get that fine piece of ass from on Friday?"

I'll give you two guesses as to who was asking me that question. To be honest I wasn't sure how offended I should be in regards to that comment, or whether to be more offended on Edward's behalf.

The thing is, I was always really terrible of thinking up really good come backs on the spot. Usually I came up with them half an hour later, after the whole situation had blown over. Angela however was always really witty, but she was currently choking on her coffee, so I doubted she was going to be of much use to me.

"Oh Lauren, there really is no wonder you are single is there, since the moment you open that big mouth of yours you generally offend at least one person." I replied, without really thinking. "And for your information, Edward isn't a male escort, far from it actually. He's not only the CEO of Cullen Pharmaceuticals, but he's also the Brother of the Father whose baby I'm having."

Ok, not only was I unsure whether Edward was actually the CEO, he had mentioned what his job title was once before, but I hadn't really followed it, but I had also inadvertently announced I was pregnant. And even worse it had been to Lauren. Give it thirty minutes and the whole office would know. Probably less than that since she'd probably send out an office wide email. It hadn't been the best thing for me to have said, far from it actually, but I suppose it was always going to come out eventually.

Lauren stood there gaping at me, as though I had told her the most unbelievable lie in the world. She was practically frozen on the spot. If it had been anyone but Lauren, I would have probably started to worry, but it wasn't, so I didn't.

"We have a new office fly catcher everyone!" Angela announced loudly to the whole office, pointing toward Lauren.

A few of our colleagues who were sat nearby and who had probably heard everything anyway, began snickering. This quickly brought Lauren back to the present, who let out a little indignant huff, followed by her spinning on her heel and storming away, which only really caused more laughter from around us.

After the laughter had died down some, I was congratulated by most of the office on my good news. I awkwardly told them the baby wasn't mine, which of course generated plenty of questions, but thankfully all seemed genuinely supportive, if not curious as to why I had made the decision to be a surrogate.

The whole time I was talking with them though, my fingers were itching to text Edward and tell him about the me morning with Lauren. It was Monday morning, and hopefully he would get a laugh out of it. Finally I managed to get a moment and grabbed my cell from my bag, only to find Edward had beat me to it.

_B – Hey, I was just wondering how you're doing? Oh BTW, the meal at the folks has been postponed, till the weekend, explain everything later, but we can still do dinner if you want. - E xoxo_

Honestly I was rather relieved the meal at Edward's parents had been postponed. The prospect of talking about Forks didn't exactly thrill me to bits, especially considering Esme would then probably start planning when we should all visit. Visiting Forks was something I was more than very reluctant to take part in. I need time to think of an excuse as to why I couldn't go. I was hoping Edward or even Emmett and Rose would give me a heads up if they learnt of when Esme was expecting them all to visit.

_E – Hey, I'm doing ok, how are you? That's fine, dinner would be great. Oh BTW which escort service do you work for? - B xoxo_

I couldn't resit asking that final question. I knew he wouldn't understand it, he'd probably be rather confused, maybe even think I had lost my mind, but I think I knew him well enough to know that he would find it hilarious when I told him.

_B – Escort service? I think you might be more sleep deprived than you think. Should I be worried? - E xoxo_

Trust Edward to be more concerned that confused.

_E – Though I could use another few hours of sleep, I am not deprived of it. It was an honest question, the same one I got asked this morning – B xoxo_

_B – Let me guess. It was Lauren? - E xoxo_

After only one meeting, Edward had Lauren right on the money. Not that it was hard.

_E – And we have a winner – B xoxo_

_B – I don't know which of us should be the most offended – E xoxo_

_E – You read my mind. I think it should be you though – B xoxo_

_B – No way, it should be you. - E xoxo_

_E – Are you sure you're not the sleep deprived one? I gotta get back to work, so I'll see you Wednesday? - B xoxo_

_B – Not if I see you first. And we will be finishing this conversation on Wednesday – E xoxo_

It was crazy really how just a few text messages could lift my spirits so much. It was like Edward had this amazing super power. He was like my own personal glee club member. Try as hard as I might, I couldn't seem to wipe that ridiculously big smile from my face.

My mood was lifted for the rest of the day, even through Angela's light hearted teasing about me and Edward. Nothing could bring my mood down at the moment. Maybe it was just having spoken to him, or maybe it was the idea of seeing him again on Wednesday. Whatever it was, I was glad. The day would have dragged had I remained in the mood I had arrived in.

My good mood lasted well into the following morning when yet again I was woken at four thirty by the pipes, which again was made worse by having to have a cold shower. I'd had enough and knowing in my own mind, that things were not going to get any better, my mind was made up. I would have to look for another apartment. I couldn't keep doing this, the lack of sleep was going to make me ill. I didn't want to keep being in bad moods, relying on Edward or someone else to cheer me up.

The day was pretty dull, Angela was on vacation, Lauren kept throwing scowls my way having not gotten over her embarrassment yesterday, and everyone else seemed to be in a mood similar to my own. Edward text a couple of times but he had explained the he was in and out of meetings all day. Knowing this only made my mood worse, because I felt guilty that I was affecting his work. He had apologized for his expected lack of texts, which was completely absurd. He owed me nothing.

I spoke to him for a few minutes in the evening to solidify our plans for the following evening, which of course lifted my spirits up greatly. He asked about how much noise the pipes were making, and how much sleep I had, had. Though I told him the truth, I did however play it down slightly, and didn't admit that I was going to be looking for somewhere else. I didn't need the over protective Edward to kick in right now.

I would have loved to have taken Edward or any of the Cullen's with me apartment hunting, but it was clear my idea of an affordable, nice apartment was completely different from there's. Not that I'm saying they had a habit of throwing their money around or anything, it's just they could afford much more than I, and it would just feel awkward.

Rose called not long after Edward. Hers and Jasper parents lived in Spokane, and they wanted to go and visit to tell them the good news in person. However they were concerned about leaving me, which whilst it was sweet that they were considering me, I tried to remind Rose that they didn't have to answer to me. If they wanted to go on an extended vacation until the baby arrived, then that was there decision, though I omitted the fact that I wouldn't have liked it. So after triple checking that I was ok with it, their plans were set to head to Spokane tomorrow morning. I have to admit I was a little jealous. First Angela was jetting off and now Em and Rose. What I wouldn't give for a little vacation time, somewhere a little warmer than here, but where I could just relax, spending my days doing as much or as little as I felt. But still, if I wanted to move out any time soon, a vacation should be the last thing on my mind.

Even with my lack of sleep, and cold shower, yet again on Wednesday, my mood refused to be lowered. I was seeing Edward later, and that was more than enough to maintain my mood for the rest of the day. It was nice to have something to look forward to for a change, instead of knowing I would be finishing work, just to return home and do nothing but make a meal for one and sit in front of the TV and watch shows I truly wasn't interested in, but since there was nothing else on to watch, you watch it anyway. I had an ok social life I suppose, but my closest friend was Angela and obviously she had Ben, so it wasn't always possible for us to get together as regularly as I would like. And most of our colleagues were older, and married with children. In fact there was only myself, Angela and Lauren that were in the same age group, and socializing with Lauren outside of work was never going to happen, regardless of how desperate I may be.

By the end of the day, I was chomping at the bit to get out of work and meet Edward. Part of me wanted to hang on at work for a few minutes in hopes that he would come and pick me up like he did on Friday. That would really rub Lauren's nose in it. But I couldn't, I was too desperate to get out of work, too eager to wait for him, when I could go to him. I practically ran out of work, and down the street. We had decided to meet in the entrance to the local park. From there we had yet to decide where to go. I didn't really care, all that really mattered to me was that I was going to be spending the evening with him.

By the time I reached the park entrance, Edward was already there waiting for me. He had yet to notice me, so I took the opportunity to appreciate him for a few moments. He truly was like an Adonis. His hair in it usual disarray, the sun only emphasized his natural bronze highlights. It was the most unusual colour, but it was all Edward. I wasn't close enough to see the deep green of his eyes, like millions of emeralds shining away, but I could see them in my mind. I felt like I could happily lose myself for days in them.

Had you not known Emmett or Alice were his siblings, you would never have guessed, but with the knowledge came the recognition of some of the traits they shared. This gave me hope that maybe the baby would carry some of it's Uncle's features.

I stopped myself short with that thought. I shouldn't want the baby to look anything like anyone but it's parents, and besides it wasn't likely that after the birth I would see him or her again anyway. And even if I did, it would be torture, seeing what Edward's children may look like, knowing I would never be apart of that.

Lost in my thoughts, I hadn't noticed Edward spotting me and making his way over to where I was stood. Without even seeing it happen, Edward was suddenly stood in front of me, the most concerned look on his face.

"Hey, you ok?" He asked, as he pulled me into a tight hug. I loved every second of it, and suddenly felt very cold the moment he let me go.

"Hi, yeah, no I'm fine, I just..."

Shit what do I say... _'Oh yeah, I'm fine, I was just admiring your hotness', _yeah I didn't think so.

"I just.. I thought I had forgotten something at the office." I thankfully managed to excuse my behaviour. "It's just been one of those days I think." I tried to laugh off my odd behaviour.

After throwing suggestions around ,we decided to pick up some Chinese food and head back to my place and watch a film or something. I would have preferred to go to his, since I wasn't too keen on the idea of Edward hearing the pipes in my apartment. I don't know why, it wasn't exactly something I should be ashamed of since I have no control over them, but I was. I just prayed, that for once, they remained silent. I just didn't need Edward to know how bad they truly were. He'd probably pack my bag himself and drag me back to his place. Which although it wouldn't be too unwelcoming of an idea, it wasn't really what I wanted.

We didn't talk too much on the way to my apartment, just walked close together, holding hands to keep from being separated. It was so nice doing things like this, it made me feel like we were a real couple, not just some fantasy couple I dreamt about in my head.

"So um, why aren't we having dinner at your parents tonight?" I asked as I sat next to him on the couch after having ordered our Chinese food.

"Oh, um, my Dad said something about the workmen having fallen behind, and my Mom thinks her presence might speed them up some." Edward told me. "That and I think it's more because my Mom wants to check the place out some, get to know people before we all suddenly descend."

Edward thought it was so funny that Esme was wanting to get to know people. I however was praying that I wasn't linked to the Cullen's just yet. It was bad enough that I was expected to go with them for a weekend when the house was finished. I was still trying to think of a plausible excuse to prevent that from happening.

Angela knew of my panic over the possibility and though she thought it would be a good idea, since I hadn't been back for so long, and at the very least the Cullen's would serve as a bit of a distraction, she understood perfectly why I didn't want to go, and had promised that she would try and help me come up with an excuse.

Once the dinner arrived, we spoke a little about what Rose and Jasper's parents were like. I understood that both Rose and Jasper were adopted, Jasper much later on than Rose, but both had been over the age of eight. Neither had really spoken about their lives before they were adopted, leaving me to imagine it hadn't been a good one. Edward said they were pretty nice, but they weren't as close a family as the Cullen's were. But that was only his take on it, and he had only met them a handful of times. He doubted I would get to meet them since they spent much of their time travelling these days, enjoying their retirement. Which from what I could gather was a well deserved one. Their Dad had been in the army and had served right up until his retirement a few years ago. Anyone who devoted as much of their lives to the army deserved to enjoy the later years of life.

After dinner, we sat and channel surfed, teasing each other whenever we came across a programme either of us said was good. I found Edward was a closet America's got talent fan, which I found completely hilarious, and he teased me mercilessly for being addicted to Dallas. Funnily enough though, he seemed to be able to 'remember' a number of the plots which he excused as the fact Esme had been a big fan. I wasn't quite so sure.

We eventually settled for watching Buffy the Vampire slayer followed by an episode of Brother's and Sister's, which Edward delighted in telling me reminded him greatly of his family get together's, obviously minus the gay Brother and all the politics talk, oh and a Father who was a serial cheater. I actually found myself finding likenesses of Esme to Nora, which only made Edward laugh harder.

I can't remember the episode ending, or even what Edward had changed the channel too. The more relaxed I became, the more heavy my eyelids felt. I was in that bliss between sleep and consciousness, where you are aware of things, but too sleepy to focus on them.

"Night baby." A voice whispered.

"Mm night." I muttered back, snuggling further into the warmth.

A loud beeping woke me up. I couldn't believe it was morning already. I couldn't even remember going to sleep, but it still felt as though it was too early to be awake. It struck me as odd that I hadn't heard the pipes clanging and banging once all night. Which either meant I had been sleeping that deeply I hadn't heard them, which honestly I found unlikely, or they hadn't uttered a sound at all. Again very unlikely, but it had to be one of the reasons. Whichever it was, I was grateful. I was still bone tired, but at least I had, had a full nights sleep without any interruptions.

I slowly rolled over, stretching my muscles. It was that amazing feeling when you're stretching the sleepiness from your body. It's one of those really odd things you take for granted, never really notice, but damn it does feel good.

I slammed my hand down on top of the alarm clock, wanting nothing more than to snuggle back down into my duvets and stay there all day. I was sorely tempted to ring in sick to work. Jane would understand, she had even gone as far as telling me if my morning sickness was ever bad, not to come in and I could make my hours up over time, or even work from home. When the alarm didn't stop beeping, I slammed my hand on it again, thinking I had missed the button.

It didn't stop.

I peeked open my eye, focusing my blurry gaze onto the little digital screen, seeing it staring a four thirty am sign back at me. What the hell! My sleep clouded brain struggled to understand. It was four thirty am, and it wasn't my alarm that was beeping incessantly at me. In fact come to think of it, the noise was kind of muffled.

I swung my legs out of bed and padded across the floor out into the hallway. The noise was getting gradually louder. It was then my mind along with my other senses kicked into gear. Smoke was filling my hallway, the noise I had thought was my alarm, was in fact the buildings fire alarm. I could hear shouting coming from the hallway, which was clearly my neighbours evacuating the building.

From there on, I didn't hesitate, I ran to the door, fumbling with my keys to unlock each and every single lock, cursing why I had that many. More than once I dropped the bundle of keys due to shaking hands. Before I flung the door open, I felt it for heat, though if I'm honest, I have no idea how or where I learnt that from. Feeling no heat, I opened the door, immediately begin hit with billowing smoke.

There was hardly any air, the smoke immediately irritating my lungs. It was thick, laying heavy in my chest. I pulled my t shirt up over my mouth and nose and slowly began walking down the hall toward the stairs, cursing having the apartment furthest from the stairs. The shouting had almost gone now, making me feel the most vulnerable I have ever felt in my life. The lack of shouting could only mean that I would be one of the last out. Were my exits going to be blocked by the fire? Would anyone even realize I had escaped?

I was nearly to the stairs, the smoke getting thicker, harder to see through, though you would have thought the nearer I got to the stairwell, the more relief I would feel. I didn't. I felt worse, I felt like I was taking too long, I felt panicked.

As I got nearer to the stairwell, I could hearing the familiar noise of my elderly neighbours dog yapping. I couldn't ignore it, I couldn't' be that person who would ignore another living being, even if it endangered me further.

I reached for the handle to their door finding it already open slightly. I pushed it open further, seeing Renata the dog come yapping to my feet. I reached down and picked her up where her yapping immediately ceased. I could feel her leash dangling from her, making me think something bad had happened for them not to have made their escape.

"Carmen! Eleazer!" I called, trying not to allow my cough to disturb my calls. "Carmen! Eleazer! It's Bella, are you in here!"

I was understandably worried, Carmen rarely went anywhere without Renata, and they certainly would never leave her behind.

"Bella." I heard a groan.

"Carmen, where are you?"

"Kitchen floor." The reply was muffled, and full of coughing.

I started making my way towards the kitchen, suddenly tripping on something. I dropped Renata from my arms, trying to save myself from the fall I knew was coming. I managed to save myself enough that I landed on my side, but thankful it hadn't been on my front. I knew immediately that I was going to be bruised to hell in a few hours, I bruised like a peach usually. I didn't hesitate though I clambered onto hands and knees, reaching for Renata's leash. I crawled the rest of the way into the kitchen, where I found Carmen sat leaning against the cupboard. I rushed to her side, seeing a small trickle of blood from her forehead.

"Carmen, it's Bella, are you ok?" Stupid question I know.

"I... I fell... and hit my head." Her voice was hoarse, whether it was due to pain or smoke, I wasn't sure. It was probably a bit of both, but either way, I was worried.

"Do you hurt any where else?"

"My knee."

"Ok, well I'm going to help you get up, then we have to get out of here, ok."

I fought back the urge to rush in a panic, I didn't need to let my panic be known to Carmen right now. The last thing I needed was her telling me to leave her behind or anything along those lines. I couldn't leave her, and I wouldn't leave her. She needed to get out just as much as me.

"Where's Eleazer?" I asked as I helped her clamber to her feet.

"At work." She managed to huff out through the pain I was sure she was feeling.

Supporting most of her weight, we hobbled to the door. I had one arm wrapped around Carmen's waist and Renata was sat in the other. The smoke was much thicker now, my chest tighter than ever. It had only been mere minutes and the difference was amazing. So everything you read about seconds making a difference was absolutely true.

Carmen was a true soldier though, constantly telling me that we were going to be fine, as she herself battled through what I knew was excruciating pain in her knee and head. I suppose we should be grateful that we had each other.

By the time we got down two flights of stairs, the smoke was so thick you couldn't see your hand if you put it in front of your face and our coughing had gotten so bad, we were both struggling to catch a breath. And we still had another three flights to go down. A little voice in the back of my head kept screaming at me, that the less oxygen I got, so did the baby. Panic really did begin to take over now, and I was starting to get very worried that our exit was blocked. As I was considering our options, Carmen suggested we head for the fire escape by going through one of the apartments on the floor we were currently on.

I had always hated the fire escape steps, but now they looked like our best option. I pushed my fear aside and we began heading into the corridor. Thankfully the first apartment on the hallway, door was open. Barely being able to make out the windows, we slowly made our way across the room. After knocking into numerous things we found ourselves next to the windows. I passed Renata to Carmen whilst I forced open the heavy window.

Just feeling fresh clean air hit me was like heaven, even though I knew it was potentially dangerous what we were doing. The air coming n would help feed the fire, which would cause it spread more quickly.

Feeling the panic rise in me, so much so that I could no longer fight it off. Carmen quickly noticed my urgency and panic and began trying to sooth me, as I helped her clamber through the window. Once she was safely out I passed her Renata. It was then that I began hearing the familiar crackling of fire. It sounded far enough away that we would be relatively safe once we got outside, but close enough to sound deafeningly close.

I climbed out after Carmen, taking Renata back in my arms. We were on the side of the building that had a road beneath it, where thankfully the fire department had arrived. We both started calling out and were immediately noticed. I gestured for me and Carmen to begin our descent down the ladders. I went first followed by Carmen whom I was also trying to support to keep as much weight off of her knee as possibly. Having no shoes on, the metal treads of the stairs dug painfully into my feet, I was sure I would have cuts on them. It hurt badly to move, but I knew it wouldn't hurt half as much as the fire did.

We had only made it down the first set, when two firemen reached us. I doubt I've ever been so relieved in my life. I pointed to Carmen, knowing she needed more help than I to get down quickly. They made me go down first, where another firemen had suddenly arrived. I had barely gotten into his arms when there was an explosion of some kind. He instinctively turned us so his body was between me and the explosion, shielding me from harm. One of the windows further on smashed in the pressure, flames fiercely flickering out, smoke billowing from the windows close by that had been cracked under the force.

Just before we started our descent on the next set, I checked behind me to make sure Carmen was safe. I was reassured by the fireman helping me that my 'Gran' was fine, and she was right behind me. I didn't bother correcting him, it wasn't relevant, all that mattered was that we all got down safely. The firemen began to lean forward, as though he was going to pick me up over his shoulder, as you often see on TV. I put my hand on his shoulder stopping him, shouting over the noise that I was pregnant. He nodded, and made to continue helping me, though he didn't offer to carry me again.

Once we hit the ground, the fireman lifted me into his arms and rushed me toward the awaiting paramedics. Renata was taken from me as I was told the Police would take care of her by taking her to a local vets to be checked out and where she would stay until we were released from hospital.

I was lifted into the back of one of the ambulances, an oxygen mask being placed over my nose and mouth. As good as it felt, my chest was so tight and irritated from the smoke. I coughed a few times, being told to relax by the medic dealing with me. I couldn't relax though, I was strung too high, adrenalin rushing through my body.

Moments later, Carmen joined me in the back of the truck. She was also given oxygen as the medics strapped her knee to stop movement and checked out her head wound. She reached across the vehicle, grabbing my hand and squeezing it tight, tears pouring down her cheeks.

"Thank you." She murmured through her mask.

I simply didn't have the words to respond, so simply forced a watery smile back at her. Yes it was true had it not been for me she probably wouldn't have gotten out, but also had it not been for her, I would have allowed my panic to take over. I doubt I would have thought to use the fire escape through my panic. So right now, I was thankful I had found her too.

Once we were both secured in the back of the truck, we took off to the local hospital. Obviously Carmen being the more urgent of us, she was removed first and swept away into the ER. I followed closely, after having argued I was capable of walking, but still made to sit in a wheelchair.

I was seen rather quickly, and after informing the Doctor I could be pregnant, it was decided I should stay for observation. Since I had fallen on my side, the doctor wanted to keep an eye on me, and as I was still to early into my pregnancy for a scan to show anything, it was a case of wait and see, to find out if I had lost the baby . It was at this point that the panic swept back into me. I would never forgive myself if the baby had suffered. I was told by the nurse who took me to the ward a few hours later, that it was all just procedure, that it was very unlikely given my stage of pregnancy that there was any harm done, and they would do a pregnancy test later. This took some of the panic away, but none of the worry.

I was put in a private room so that my coughing wouldn't disturb the other patients, before being asked if there was anyone I would like to contacted. Asking the time first, and learning it was past eight thirty, I asked for them to contact my Dad, whose number should be on my emergency contact sheet. My cell was still back in my apartment, or rather what would be left of it, so I knew no other numbers, which was all to blame for my laziness and use of speed dial.

"I'm sorry Miss Swan, but no-one is answering." The nurse came back into me ten minutes later.

"Oh, erm, well if you try Fork Police Department, my Dad's the Chief there."

I wanted my Dad. I wanted him to come and hold me in his arms and make me feel safe, like only a Dad could do. So imagine my disappointment when she returned yet again to tell me she had been told by one of the Officers that Chief Swan had gone on a camping trip and wasn't due back for a few days, though they would continue trying to get hold of him.

"What about the Father of your baby?" She asked me kindly.

"He's in Spokane with the Mother." I replied through a few coughs.

"The Mother?" She asked, looking at me oddly, probably wondering if the smoke had damaged my brain.

"I'm a surrogate." I answered, seeing understanding spread across her face.

She left me to rest, telling me if I thought of anyone to ring the buzzer.

There wasn't anyone else really to call. My Dad was my only family. Angela was in California with Ben. Emmett and Rose were in Spokane. I didn't have anyone's numbers. There was only really Jake or Jake's Dad Billy. But it wasn't like Billy could get to me, him being in a wheelchair and all, and chances are, he was hanging around on the camp site, since he never let his disabilities stop him. As for Jake, I hadn't spoken to him for a while.

I needed to somehow let Rose and Em know though. I had a responsibility to them. I hadn't got the first clue how to contact them though. The only people I knew who could were the remaining Cullen's. But again since I couldn't remember any of their numbers I wasn't going to have much luck. I guess I just had to hope that Edward would text me, and when I didn't reply he would go to either my work or apartment, and then hopefully he'd call around the hospitals looking for me.

Or... He was one of two Cullen's who worked for Cullen Pharmaceuticals, if I got the nurse to call...

**WOW this chapter was exhausting to write. I kind of didn't want to put Bella through even more drama, but I needed it to happen so that the rest of the plot made sense – which you'll learn in time lol. Anyway hope you've enjoyed it. Please review for me, even if it's only to let me know you hate it lol :D**


	18. She's everything

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

_Ok, so here it is, right on time... for a change lol. **BIG** thank you's to my reviewers – **Campcathryn**, **Linz832** and **Cheermom13** you guys are amazing, and I seriously can't thank you enough for taking the time to leave some feedback for me **:D :D :D :D**_

Chapter 18

_And she's everything I ever wanted  
And everything I need  
I talk about her, I go on and on and on  
because she's everything to me_

_Brad Paisley - She's everything_

Honestly I was becoming a little concerned about the amount of sleep Bella was getting. Every time I saw her, it seemed as though the purple bruises beneath her eyes were getting more prominent. As awful as it might sound, she looked ill, like deathly ill, she was beginning to suffer from morning sickness and lack of sleep. I could only imagine how bad she must feel, but she wouldn't admit to it. Admitting a weakness wasn't Bella's way.

On Monday, I had contacted the lawyer, who dealt with all of our business and family needs, to try and find what rights Bella had. Though Caius had tried to tell me property law wasn't his speciality, he had promised he would look into it for me and let me know what he had found. I had yet to hear from him, but the way things were going, I was getting more desperate.

Emmett and Rose had gone to Spokane to visit Rose and Jasper's parents to tell them their good news, and my Mom was still in Forks, after my Dad had returned this afternoon without her. So other than my Dad, there was no-one really for me to share my concerns over Bella to.

My Dad whilst understanding my worries, and agreeing I was right to be worried, had warned me that pregnant women did suffer with tiredness, and Bella maybe one of those people that show tiredness very easily. He could be right, I knew he could be right, but it didn't alleviate my concerns. In fact they got even worse when I met her at the end of the day. She looked like she was about to fall asleep standing up.

I had, had plans to take her to a small local restaurant, but upon seeing her, I scrapped that plan and suggested that we go back to hers and order in. My hope was that after getting some food into her, she would fall asleep. My keeping her out late in restaurants wasn't what she needed. What she needed was a good nights sleep.

As I had hoped, by eight pm, not even a quarter of the way into the film we had ended up watching, she was fast asleep. I sat for a while longer as she leaned into my side, just admiring how beautiful she was. There was nothing about her that wasn't perfect to me. Even with the bruises under her eyes, it just showed how real she truly was.

Eventually I pulled her into my arms and carried her to her room. Thankfully she had changed earlier on in the evening, into some sweat pants and t shirt, which weren't the most perfect sleep wear, but she would at least be comfortable. She stirred a little replying as I said goodnight, planting a kiss on her forehead, but within moments she was back to sleep.

I hated leaving without making her consciously aware of my exit, but I wasn't sure how much she would appreciate finding me in the morning sleeping on her couch. I left her a small note on her night stand, before slipping silently from her apartment, making sure I activated all her locks upon my exit, and leaving her keys in a visible place for her.

Arriving back in my own home, I was hit with how empty it felt. After having lived at home with two siblings, and then in college dorms, followed by a house shared with Emmett, Jasper, Alec and Seth, moving into my own place had been a Godsend, now all I felt was lonely. I wanted someone to come home to every night, to share my space with. But most importantly, I had wanted that person to be Bella.

I was still hoping she would take me up on my offer to stay a night or two in my spare room. In fact had I thought about it, I could have made her come and stay the night tonight. But my main concern had been getting her to sleep, so mission was accomplished really, I would just have to work on getting her to come and stay at a later point.

I didn't sleep well. I felt restless for some reason, my mind just not shutting off. I tossed and turned, maybe getting thirty minutes of light restless sleep at a time. At some point early morning, I went as far as getting up and making myself a drink of warm milk, but even that didn't work. I was tempted to take a cold remedy tablet, since they usually made me feel sleepy, sometimes even knocking me out completely, but then I decided against it, as they always made me feel groggy the following day.

About half past four, I heard sirens nearby. It wasn't an odd noise to hear really considering I lived in down town Seattle. I just hoped they didn't head near Bella's place and wake her up. From what she had said, the pipes began making noises around this time, so the last thing she needed was to be woken by sirens instead.

I couldn't shake the uneasy feeling I had, so by half past five, I was up and heading for a shower. As nice as it was to not have to rush around in the morning like I usually did, I would still have preferred being in bed. I ate breakfast at home, which was honestly a rarity for me, since I was usually in such a rush, and by half past seven I was walking into work.

Mrs Cope gaped at me like I had grown another head when I walked in, though I can't say I was surprised. I usually didn't turn up until about half past eight. She jokingly asked if I was feeling ok, of which I told her I hadn't slept well, and how restless I was feeling. She too told me she had been disturbed a few times during the early morning, after hearing sirens, of which I assumed were the same I had heard, since she lived just a little further away than Bella.

Not long after my Dad arrived, not really looking all that shocked to have seen me, but then again he had probably seen my car in the parking garage, giving him ample time to get over his surprise. As he helped himself to coffee he mentioned his lateness was down to a few roads being closed and having to be diverted.

"Mm yes, from what I saw it was completely burned down." My Dad responded to Mrs Cope's acknowledgement of why some roads had been closed.

"And it was such a lovely old building."

I escaped to my office to prepare my paperwork for the meeting we had at nine am. I always hated these meetings, I wasn't really needed, but it looked better for me to attend than to be absent. One or two of the board members were pretty old, didn't like change, so any of the ideas I came up with, they usually always voted against. Thankfully though, the rest of the board seemed to be on a similar wave length to myself and always respected my ideas, even if they too decided against them.

By nine am, I was sat beside my Dad, watching with amusement as two of the older member of the board argued between themselves about a few issues that were meant to be, being brought up later in the meeting. This happened every time, and the moment it was brought up later in the meeting, they would start up again. The thing was though, getting them to shut up now, was impossible.

"Excuse me gentleman, I apologize for interrupting, but Mr Cullen, there's a phone call for you." Mrs Cope knocked on the door before popping her head inside.

It wasn't like Mrs Cope to not announce which Mr Cullen she wanted. She had long since gotten used to the confusion that came with having Father and Son working in the same office.

"Which Mr Cullen, Mrs Cope?" I asked, getting out of my seat and following my Dad from the room.

"I apologize Mr... Edward, the young lady didn't say, she just said it was a matter of urgency," She looked nervous for some reason. "She's a nurse form the hospital."

Without another word, my Dad strode across the room to Mrs Cope's desk where the phone handset sat on her desk. My thoughts flew between each member of my family and Bella, wondering which one was hurt.

"This is Mr Cullen... yes Carlisle Cullen... I see... is she ok?... I understand... no of course, we'll be right there... thank you."

He said she. He said she. It was My Mom, or Alice, or Rose, or Bella. My mind couldn't settle on it being any of them, but it was. I watched as my Dad put the phone down. It was all in slow motion, or at least it felt that way.

"Who?" I uttered.

"Bella." He replied.

Shit! I felt my heart pound in my chest. I felt physically sick. Caught between wanting to listen to my Dad and dashing out of the building to get to her side as soon as possible.

"It was her building that was on fire this morning."

I'm sure for a few moments I forgot how to breath. I could kick myself for not making her come and stay with me last night. It was crazy, but I felt like I was to blame somehow. I knew she had issues in her building, and yet I let her stay there. I could have physically forced her to come home with me. True it probably wouldn't have gone down too well with her, but at least she would have been safe. And with me.

"Is she ok?" I managed to ask.

Please God let her be ok! I don't think I could ever forgive myself if she wasn't.

"The nurse couldn't say, just that she had asked for one of us to be called. So I'm taking that as a good sign." He told me.

I've gotta say, he had more faith than I did right now. What good was there about her being in hospital after an apartment fire? There had to be something wrong if she was being kept in hospital. Or if she couldn't even get to the phone to call us herself.

"I'm sorry gentlemen, but we're going to have to reschedule this meeting, one of my Daughters is in hospital." I hadn't even noticed my Dad striding back to the board room. "Mrs Cope..."

"Don't worry about a thing, just go and take care of her."

"Thank you. Edward, let's go."

I followed after my Dad silently, thankful that he seemed to be calm and in control of the situation. I wasn't sure had he not been here, how I would have handled the situation. It certainly wouldn't have been as calm as he was.

We were just pulling out of the parking garage when it hit me, that my Dad had announced that it was one of his Daughters in hospital. Ok, I figured it was easier for him to say that, than have to begin explaining that Bella was his Son's surrogate, but still, he had, had plenty of other options as to what to call Bella. Had he even thought about it, or had it just slipped.

"You called Bella your Daughter!" I announced, not really sure whether I was expecting an answer.

"Yes." Ok, he was at least aware of what he had called her.

"Why?" He had peaked my curiosity.

"Well, I have a feeling, that she will become one sooner or later."

"Oh." I replied, accepting his answer.

Hang on. _'a feeling she will become one'_, what the hell did he mean?

"Don't look so confused Edward. For the record, I think Bella's pretty perfect for you."

"You know?"

"Of course I know Edward. You're my Son, it's my job to be able to tell how you feel. From the moment we first met Bella, you acted so oddly, it was clear to both me and your Mom, that there was something more. We just kind of figured you would tell us when you were ready."

"It's all such a mess Dad. I don't want to like Bella like this, I mean she's going to have Em and Rose's baby, it can't get any more complicated than that."

"Its only as complicated as you want to make it Son."

We didn't say any more, as we were just pulling into the hospital parking lot. I wasn't sure how I managed to not dive out before he parked up. I was desperate to get to Bella. I needed to see her with my own two eyes to make sure she was ok. Or rather as ok as she was going to be after being in an apartment fire.

My Dad sensing my urgency jogged with me into the ER, where we had to queue for ten minutes before we were told which ward Bella had been sent to. I ran my hand roughly through my hair the whole way up in the elevator. Thankfully we were alone, otherwise people might have thought I was crazy. I was completely on edge, not knowing what to expect, and fearing the worst.

My Dad lead us onto the ward, it was like he was a pro at this kind of thing. Which in all honesty, having had both me and Em as Son's, he probably was. He had always been a take charge kind of guy, whilst my Mom was a worrier, he was the voice of reason. A voice I usually listened to, but today, no matter how many times he told me that everything would be fine, I couldn't find it in me to fully believe him. And I hated that. He had never, in my life given him cause for me not to trust or believe him, but here I was, struggling, and it wasn't for lack of wanting to. I was just letting my imagination run wild.

"Excuse me, I'm Carlisle Cullen, I was contacted on behalf of Isabella Swan." My Dad took control at the nurses station, whilst I looked up and down the ward, trying fruitlessly to figure out which room Bella was in.

"Oh right yes. Thank you for coming so quickly. Isabella's right down here."

The nurse, a more senior looking woman than some of the other ladies who were surrounding the nurses station, began leading us down the hall. She walked excruciatingly slowly, and I wanted to scream at her to speed up. She was telling us something about being quiet since Bella was sleeping, and not to disturb the oxygen tubes.

Hearing that made the panic in me rise even more. She was on oxygen. They only gave oxygen to serious patients didn't they? Jesus this was bad.

"How is she?" My Dad asked.

"Obviously I can't discuss medical notes with you without Isabella's permission, but she is ok. Tired, and still in some shock, but she'll be fine after some rest. She just needs the oxygen for a while longer until we're sure her lungs didn't suffer any permanent damage. Her Doctor will be in to see her in a while."

And with that, she deposited us outside her room, leaving us to go in when we were ready. Even the nurse telling me she was fine, wasn't enough, I needed to see it with my own eyes to believe it. I headed straight for the door, knocking gently before slowly stepping inside.

My eyes found her immediately. She was curled up in the bed. She looked so tiny, so fragile laying there. She had like the nurse had told us, a oxygen tube under her nose, which honestly didn't look as bad as I imagined, or I guess as bad as a full nose and mouth mask would have looked. There were black smudges on her cheeks, on her forehead and chin. A sign she had been near smoke at the very least. Thankfully I couldn't see any further injuries, but that didn't mean to say she didn't have any. I just prayed she didn't. I already felt bad enough about leaving her last night as it was.

Both my Dad and I practically tiptoed to the chairs at the side of her bed and sat down. I wanted badly to reach for her little hand, but I knew it would wake her, and that was something I didn't really want to do. She needed her rest, more so than before, but she looked exhausted, even now while she slept.

I have absolutely no idea how long we sat there for, but neither of us spoke, we just continued watching over her. She coughed numerous times in her sleep, causing me even more worry. They began as little coughs, but over time they started to get worse. Like she was trying to cough something out of her lungs.

"Should be get a nurse?" I whispered to my Dad, after another cough.

"Let her wake up on her own first." He replied, though I could see the worry on his face.

This went on for another ten, maybe fifteen minutes, when she woke after the biggest cough yet. Seeing her eyelids flutter open, I reached forward, one hand reaching for hers whilst the other rested on her forehead, sweeping a few stray hairs from her face. She managed a smile at me, before beginning to push herself up in bed slightly.

"It's ok Baby, just lay there."

God I felt helpless. I didn't know what to say or do for her. I wanted to swap positions for her, wanted to take away all her hurt and pain. I hated that she was having to lay there.

"How are you feeling sweetheart?" My Dad asked.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know who to call." Tears filled her eyes. "My... my Dad's on a camping trip or something. And... and I don't... know how to get hold of... Em or Rose." A huge tear fell from her gorgeous brown eyes, rolling heavily down her cheek.

"Shhh Baby, it's fine." I told her, leaning forward and kissing her forehead. "Are you ok?" Dumb question, but I needed to know if there was anything wrong with her that I couldn't see.

"Yeah, I'm ok. Just a bit of smoke inhalation."

After a few minutes, my Dad excused himself to go get a nurse so they could inform the doctor that Bella was awake. I stayed with her, stroking her hair, seeing her relax slowly but surely. She looked completely wiped, but she was forcing herself to stay awake until the doctor had been. She had asked me briefly about calling Em and Rose, before changing her mind, not wanting to worry them just yet.

"Edward, can you do me a favour?"

"Anything baby."

And I did literally mean anything.

"Can you maybe go call the police department in Forks. I know the nurse already tried, but I need one of the guys to go find my Dad." She asked softly, sounding closer and closer to sleep. "I guess I need him to come get me. I don't think I'll be able to get back into my apartment for a few weeks maybe." Even now, she didn't sound exactly happy about the idea of going back to Forks.

I didn't know how to tell her that it would be more than weeks. It would be more than months probably. From what both Mrs Cope and my Dad had said, the building was pretty much just a shell. I didn't want to worry her with that though right now. I wanted her to rest.

"Bella, don't worry about that. You can come home with me, if you want that is. But of course I'll try and call him."

I didn't get a response, she had drifted off to sleep. I couldn't resist leaning forward and kissing her softly on the forehead. It was pretty obvious to me right now that she was my everything.

My Dad returned a few minutes later telling me that a doctor would be coming by shortly. I relayed Bella's request to him, of which he agreed that he would call once the doctor had been, and even offered for Bella to stay with himself and my Mom if she didn't want to go home with me. I was hoping and praying that wouldn't be the case.

An hour later, the doctor arrived. He asked for a moment of privacy with Bella, which although I would have preferred to have stayed with her, I understood why he was asking us to wait outside.

"No, it's ok, they can stay. I want them to stay." Bella told him quickly. Her voice was slightly panicked, like she was worried about something.

"Are you sure Bella?" My Dad asked, receiving a nod in response from her. I took my seat beside her again, leaning closer and reaching for her hand.

"Are you suffering from any discomfort Isabella?" The doctor asked.

"My chest just feels a little tight, but the nurse said that was to be expected, and my sides a little sore, but I bruise pretty easily anyway." She replied.

Her answer actually surprised me a little. She hadn't mentioned anything about hurting her side. I wanted to ask her about it, but I didn't really think she would appreciate me doing that in front of the doctor, so I bit my tongue.

"Ah yes, you told us of a possible pregnancy." The doctor replied, opening the folder he had in his hands and reading through it. "Well from the blood work that was taken earlier, and the pregnancy test we performed, I think it is safe to say you are indeed pregnant Isabella."

My God she really was pregnant. I mean sure I had known the possibility was there, and after the symptoms she had been showing the past week or so, it was getting to look that way, but actually hearing the doctor confirm it, I was awestruck. I actually felt like the Father, being told that I was going to become a Daddy in nine months time.

"And the baby? It''s ok right?"

"Everything seems perfectly fine Isabella. You've had no pain, and no spotting so far. So I think it's safe to say no harm was done. However if you do start to feel any pain, spotting, cramps etcetera, then I would advise you to attend your OBGYN immediately."

"Thank you."

"Ok, Isabella. You're oxygen levels are returning to within the normal ranges, I would like you to stay another hour or so until they are well within, but then you will be free to go." He told her, a smile immediately gracing her features.

I couldn't get over the fact that I had been the one with Bella when she had been told the news. While a part of me ached for the child that wasn't mine, I was also grateful that she was indeed pregnant, it was what she had wanted, and selfishly it meant she would be sticking around much longer than she would have had she not fallen pregnant.

Bella was by now much more awake and chomping at the bit to be released. My Dad had tried calling Forks police department, and had been assured that one of the officers were on their way to collect Bella's Dad, but did relay over the radio to the officer, that Bella was fine, and her Dad was to come straight to my place, since that was where Bella had decided to stay for the time being.

I can't tell you how thrilled I was by her decision. I too began getting just as eager for her release, if for nothing more than to get her back to my apartment. My Dad could obviously read me like a book and kept trying to hide his little smirk at my excitement. I didn't care though, my girl was coming home with me.

Bella for the rest of the morning and early afternoon, kept falling back into a light sleep. She was completely exhausted, which the doctor had explained was to be expected, as when she was escaping the fire, she had done so relying on her adrenalin, which had simply zapped her of any energy she had. Resting was also her minds way of protecting itself form an overload of information.

She had just woken for the third time that morning, when a small knock came, quickly followed by a middle aged man dressed in a security uniform. He looked wiped out, exhaustion and worry etched on his face. He forced a smile upon seeing Bella, but apologized quickly, thinking he was interrupting something.

"No, come on in. This is Carlisle and Edward. Carlisle, Edward, this is Eleazer." I couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment that she hadn't explained to this man who we were to her. "How's Carmen?"

I had no idea who either this Eleazer or Carmen were, but I assumed they were neighbours. I moved out of my seat, gesturing Eleazer to take my seat, he looked as though if he didn't voluntarily sit, he would fall due to pure exhaustion. He looked even worse than Bella, and I hadn't thought that was possible.

"She's doing ok... thanks to you."

Thanks to Bella. What was he talking about? What had Bella done?

"I didn't do anything special Eleazer. The only reason I knew she was even there was because of Renata."

Ok I was officially confused. As was my Dad if the look that was on his face was anything to go by.

"Bella, my darling girl, regardless of what stopped you, we will both be forever grateful that you cared enough, even if you only thought you were saving a dog. Had it not been for you, neither Carmen or Renata would be here now."

Jesus! Bella had saved someone's life. She had stopped to help someone, just because she had heard a damn dog barking. I was so proud of my girl at this point. I also couldn't stop myself from feeling a little angry with her. But it was for purely selfish reasons. She had jeopardized her own life by investigating why a dog was barking. Those few minutes that she had stopped, could have meant the difference between life and death. As it was, she was lucky, and had gotten out alive, but it could have been so different.

Looking at this man though, who honestly looked eternally grateful toward Bella, washed away all those previous thoughts, knowing had I been in Bella's shoes, I would have probably done the same. And all it did was make me love Bella even more, even harder than I did before. She was so utterly selfless.

It seemed Eleazer couldn't thank Bella enough, at one point he actually had tears pouring own his cheeks as he expressed how utterly grateful he was, that she had cared enough. It was like watching a lifetime movie or something, I even felt myself get that lump of emotion stuck in my throat. My Dad looked exactly how I felt, and Bella was in pieces. I was sure she didn't see clearly exactly what she had done, and I doubted she would ever fully appreciate what her actions had achieved. To her, she had done something that anyone with a sense of decency would do. I couldn't bring myself to tell her, that in actual fact, not too many people would have put their own lives in danger to do what she had.

Eleazer stayed a little while longer, explaining to Bella how Carmen was. She was due to have some minor surgery on her knee, which she had injured during her fall, and other than the smoke inhalation both Bella and Carmen seemed to have endured, she was otherwise fine. He left not long after, taking both mine and my Dad's contact details so once he and Carmen were settled somewhere, they could remain in touch with Bella.

I was still in awe of my girl when it was back to being just the three of us. Bella however was completely oblivious to it all. In her eyes, she had done nothing out of the ordinary. I wanted badly to tell her how proud of her I was, but I was also afraid that her actions hadn't fully been comprehended in her mind yet, and I didn't want to push her over that metaphorical edge.

She was eventually released, after being told to take it easy for a few days, and if she felt her chest hurting, or her breathing was to become laboured, she was to return straight to ER. I think I paid more attention to the doctors orders than Bella did. She was more concerned with getting out of there, than anything else.

It wasn't until she actually got out of bed, and she realized she had no clothes to her name, that she broke down in tears. All she had was the sweats she went to bed in last night, that were currently sat in a plastic bag, covered in soot and dirt. It didn't matter what my Dad or I said about sorting some clothes out for her later the reality of her situation hit her full force. Not only did she have no clothes, but she had no money, no possessions, and most importantly, no home.

I have to admit, hearing her weep over these things, I couldn't begin to imagine how she must feel. Whilst I saw the situation from the perspective that possessions could be replaced and she couldn't, Bella clearly didn't right now. And who can honestly blame her.

We managed to coax her back into the clothes she arrived in, constantly trying to reassure her that everything would fine, that we would work something out for her, that she was far more important than anything else. The whole way back to my apartment, she was constantly on the edge of that metaphorical cliff, every little thing pushing her closer and closer to what must feel like a long fall into the depths. I was trying so hard to take some of the pressure off of her.

My Dad drove us home, taking care to avoid the area around Bella's building. Neither of us thought she was ready to see the damage the fire had caused just yet. Honestly, I don't think I wanted to either. I was afraid it would only make it more abundantly clear how close we had been to loosing her. And that wasn't a conclusion I really wanted to think about too much.

He saw us both inside, making sure we were both settled before telling us he was going to head back to work, to tie up any lose strings and he would contact Em and Rose as well as my Mom and Alice from there. I couldn't believe it when Bella actually apologized for ruining our work day by having the nurse call us. I wanted to be annoyed at her and how she could even think she was ruining anything. Christ I would do so much more for her than she even realized.

"Do you need anything? A drink? Some lunch? Pain killers?" I was aware I was hovering slightly but I wanted her to feel at home here with me. I also didn't want her to be uncomfortable, in anyway.

"No, Edward, I'm fine. Please just come sit."

I sighed and sat beside her. I felt too wired to sit, I probably looked like Alice when she had, had caffeine. Bella was here. She was here in my home. Or rather _our_ home. Yes _our_ home, because the way I saw it, for as long as Bella was staying with me, this was her home too. And secretly, I hoped she would never leave.

Bella leant against me, yawning slightly, and I immediately calmed. I couldn't believe my bodies reaction to her presence. It was rare I was hyped up, but no-one had ever calmed me by just a simple touch. To me, it just cemented exactly how much Bella was made me for. How perfect I thought we would be together.

Bella eventually fell back to sleep, and though I thought she would probably be comfier in bed I was too selfish to move her. It was a rare opportunity I suppose to be able to hold her freely. I must have fallen asleep with her at some point, being woken up later feeling her stir against my chest. My automatic reaction in my sleep clouded mind was just hold her tighter to me, preventing her from leaving me.

"Edward..." I heard Bella whisper.

"Hmm..." I prized my eyes open, seeing Bella laid crushed against my chest, her back up against the back of the sofa. "Oh sorry." I slowly clambered from the position.

We must have moved during our sleep, into, in my mind, the most natural position. I could only wish we could sleep like that every night. But right now, I would take napping with her like that any time.

"It's fine, sorry, I fell asleep on you again... in more ways than one." She forced a smile.

Whilst the deep purple bruises had faded exponentially, she still looked as though she was sleep deprived. I guess it would take a few days of catching up on her sleep for them to fade fully.

"Bella, stop apologizing. If you're tired, you sleep. It's fine. Clearly you aren't the only one who needed the nap." I chuckled.

She sat up, looking around herself a little awkwardly, pushing her loose hair away from her face. She looked so unsure of herself, like she didn't know what she was meant to do. I didn't want her to feel awkward here, or even worse around me. I wanted her to feel like she belonged, like this was her home.

"Listen Bella..." I began

"Edward..." Bella said at the same time.

"You first." I told her with a laugh.

"Oh... um... I was going to ask if it was... um ok... for me to have a shower?"

I couldn't believe she thought she had to ask my damn permission to have a wash. This was not going well if that was how she really felt around me.

"Of course you can. You don't even need to ask Bella. This is your home now... for as long as you want. You can do what you want, when you want." I desperately needed her to understand this.

"Um... well I kinda do." She smiled shyly. "I um.. well I don't have any clean clothes to change into."

I was so stupid. I should have thought about that.

"Oh right, sure. I'll um get you some." _Such an idiot Cullen_ I thought. "You wanna come chose something from my wardrobe?" I stood, offering my hand to her.

She nodded, took my hand and got to her feet, following me silently to my room. I showed her where my t shirts and dress shirts were, before offering her some sweat pants or boxers. I fought the urge to smile like a Cheshire cat when she chose the t shirt she had worn the night she had last stayed here and returned a few days later. I was sure she was trying to kill me. That thing had my name printed on the back. It had been hard enough seeing her dressed in it the last time, when I had really liked her, but my lord, I loved her now, I wasn't sure I could keep my imagination in control. Add that to pair of pale blue and lilac plaid boxers she had taken from me, I was in for a long night.

I showed her to her room, and the guest bathroom, before excusing myself with the excuse of making us some dinner. Making dinner though, was the last thing on my mind. I found myself staring longingly at the hallway, toward where she was currently showering, wishing I could see through walls. I was such a perv!

I did honestly try to focus on making us dinner, but my mind wasn't here in the kitchen. It was down the hall, in the bathroom, hell it was in the shower... with Bella. I knew I was going to love having Bella live with me, but at the same time, it was going to be hell on earth. Images of her prancing around in barely there negligee's, underwear hanging to dry in the bathroom – thank God I had my own private bathroom. And note to self, do not let Bella go clothes shopping with Alice. Alice loved to torture me, and I wouldn't put it passed her to encourage Bella into buying the more skimpier nightwear available.

My cell began ringing in my pocket, breaking me from my thoughts. I answered it without looking as I continued stirring the noodles and vegetables in the wok, pouring some sauces in, every so often.

"Edward! It's Charlie Swan."

Ah what timing Bella's Dad had. Calling me when I was having less than pure thoughts about his Daughter, who was no more than two rooms away from me, and naked. Great!

"Hey Chief Swan. I'm glad someone managed to get hold of you."

Well what else was I meant to say, _'Hey Chief Swan, don't worry,'_. He was her Dad, of course he was going to worry, and I wasn't particularly wanting to get on his bad side right now, with stupid statements. The man owned a gun!

"How is she? Is she ok?"

"Um, yeah, yeah I guess she's ok... well given the circumstances. She's er, she's just taking a shower right now."

Great! My mind went straight back into the gutter at the mention of the shower. Good going Cullen, just what you need when talking to love of your life's Father, a boner!

"Right... ok... well I'm on my way, I should be with you in a few hours." He sounded flustered, and who could blame him.

"Ok, I'll let Bella know. Drive safely."

I couldn't imagine how on edge her Dad must feel. Maybe it was because I wasn't a Dad myself, maybe it was because I hadn't ever been in his position. Or maybe it was because I didn't live three to four hours away from Bella. I had been able to see with my own eyes that she was in fact fine. It didn't escape my notice that until I had seen her myself, I too had been on edge, though it was probably such a different kind of feeling, to that of Charlie Swan. Because added to all the above, and Bella being his Daughter, she was also his only family.

Bella appeared not long after, padding a little shyly toward the kitchen counter and sitting opposite me, offering her help. I managed to decline her, though I couldn't for the life of me tell you how. I was absolutely blown away by how utterly beautiful she looked. Not only was she beautiful, she was gorgeous, sexy, hot and every other adjective there was to describe perfection.

My clothes, were clearly far too big on her small frame. She had knotted the t shirt in the small of her back, causing it to show every curve of her breasts, and a tiny sliver of her stomach. She'd had to roll the waistband of my boxers over a few times to stop them from slipping down over her hips. She was simply irresistible usually, but now, it was like I had died and gone to heaven. I had images of my throwing her onto the kitchen counter flying through my mind. I was like a caveman.

Oh, um." I cleared my throat, purposely trying to give myself a moment to pull myself together. "You're um, your Dad called he's no his way."

"Oh, right, thanks."

Things felt a little awkward between us, and it didn't escape my notice that this was the first time I had ever felt like this around her. I just had no idea what to say to her, how to be around her, when I was thinking the things that I was. I had trouble focusing on anything but Bella sitting there, in my clothes no less. All I knew was, that I had to stop thinking of Bella like this. If I didn't, she was bound to pick up on something eventually, and then things would get uncomfortable, and then she would move out. And that was the last thing I wanted.

After much coaxing of myself to think of Bella like I would Alice or Rose – which didn't work might I add, I served us both a plate of stir fry. Bella having set us both a place at the table, and gotten us both a drink, sat opposite me, looking hesitantly toward the food. I began to worry that she didn't like stir fry. I even began thinking that the pregnancy was turning her off certain foods, and this was one of them.

"Do you... I mean... would you prefer something else?" I asked. "I'm sorry I didn't..."

"No, Edward this is perfect. Thank you."

"Are you sure? I mean you..." Jesus, why did I let everything about her turn me to complete mush.

"Yeah, I'm sure. I guess, I'm just still processing stuff." She forced a smile my way, which literally warmed my insides. "I just..." and just like that, she was crying again.

You have no idea how badly it hurt me seeing her hurt like this. It felt like someone was standing on my chest, slowly killing me. I wanted nothing more than to make this hurt disappear for her, hell I'd even take it on myself, so long as it eased for her.

"God... sorry. All I seem to have done all day is cry." She tried to laugh at herself, as I got up from my seat, and crouched beside her.

"Baby, it's fine, don't apologize, you've had... well you've had a shit day."

"Edward... thank you. Thank you for letting me stay with you." She wiped furiously at the tears on her face. "As soon as I get the chance, I'm gonna get you some rent mon..."

"You are not paying rent Bella."

"I can't stay here for free Edward. I won't stay here for free."

Jesus why did she have to be so damn stubborn. I couldn't and more importantly, wouldn't take money from her. I mean it's not even like I paid rent myself. I didn't even have a mortgage. I didn't live an expensive lifestyle, and had paid it off within a few years of buying the property.

"Bella, even I don't pay rent."

"So." Gah if I didn't love this woman so much, she would infuriate me.

"Look, I promise we can sort something out. But you are not giving me money. Maybe take it in turns to buy groceries and cook dinner or something. But we'll talk about it more later. Deal?"

"Thank you." And with that, she dove forward from her seat, straight into my arms, hugging me tightly.

We stayed in each others arms for a few moments, both seemingly to linger in the embrace longer than 'friends' should. I didn't care though, she was in my arms, and that was all the mattered. I could have cared less if she had stayed there perfectly, making me carry her around all day every day. It was my idea of heaven if you ask me.

We eventually parted. I found myself back in my seat, as we both dug into dinner. Bella declaring she had no idea how good I was in the kitchen, and to prepare myself for more cooking duties in the near future, since it seemed 'Pip' as she had dubbed the baby, loved Uncle Edward's food.

"Pip isn't very original is it?" I asked, as we both sat heavily on the couch, completely stuffed.

"I guess not, but that about's as big as it is right now, and I don't really know what else to call it." She replied, resting her hands on her stomach, that honestly was still flat.

"So when it's the size of an apple or orange? Or even a melon?" We both couldn't help but laugh at the image of Bella walking around calling the baby melon. "Aren't you worried about getting too attached?" I asked suddenly, causing us both to sober quickly.

"Yes and no." Bella replied quietly.

She rubbed her stomach again. Had I been looking for a sign of her being pregnant, that was as sure a sign as any. I wondered why nearly all expectant Mother's did it. Except Bella wasn't a Mother. Boy this was going to get confusing.

"I think it would be impossible for anyone not to get attached to something after nine months. And I guess when it's all over with, my body will be expecting to nurture a baby. But at the same time, I know this baby isn't mine, and I truly am ok with that. I don't think I'm ready for that responsibility in my life just yet."

"But you see it all the time. Women who chose to put their babies up for adoption, change their mind once the babies born."

"Is this your way of trying to ask me if I'll change my mind once the babies born?" There was humour in her voice, but also an edge of seriousness.

"No. No, regardless of what I've said in the past, I do trust you Bella. But if anything, I guess... I guess I'm just worried for you."

And I was truly worried. I don't think Bella would ever fully understand how worried I was for her. I had no experience of giving up a child, and not being a parent myself, I couldn't imagine it either, but I could take a wild stab in the dark, as to how hard it must be.

"Thank you. For your concern, and I do understand where your concern is coming from. But... I don't know... maybe it's because I know that this baby isn't any part of me. Does that make sense?" I nodded. "It's all Em and Rose, and I think, that knowing that, is what makes a difference. I guess with adoption, the baby is a part of you, there is that in-severable tie between them." I think I understood exactly what she was saying. I just hoped she was right. "But it's different for me and Pip here. Nine months down the line, he or she will look every bit like Rose or Em, there'll be nothing of me there,"

I didn't like that thought. She made it sound like she was nothing, yet she was everything. She was the one giving this baby a life. Putting her body, mind and soul through this selfless act. She can't honestly see what an amazing thing she was doing.

**Wow, ok no cliffie today lol. This chapter started off pretty easy to write, and then got harder toward the end, and I think it kinda shows, so I do apologize, hopefully you still thought it was worthy though. Please review for me, it is much appreciated :D**


	19. Too lost in you

Disclaimer : I don't own anything except the plot and any original characters – I do however wish I owned more lol.

_And here we are again :D Big thank you's to my faithful reviewers – **Linz832**, **Teambellaedward**, **GottaLoveFanfiction**, **BellaAndEdwardLover9** and **Bandeforever16** you guys are consistently awesome :D_

Chapter 19

_I'm in over my head  
You got under skin  
I got no strength at all  
In the state that I'm in  
And my knees are weak  
And my mouth can't speak  
Fell too far this time_

Baby, I'm too lost in you  
Caught in you  
Lost in everything about you  
So deep, I can't sleep  
I can't think  
I just think about the things that you do (you do)  
I'm too lost in you

_Sugababes - Too lost in you_

I was enjoying my time with Edward. Just sitting with him, it was relaxing, like we had been doing it for years. Even when we began talking about the baby, which could essentially be an awkward subject. It was like Edward was more worried about my well being than that of his Brother and Sister in law. It was kind of nice to know that at least one member of his family understood my side of things. Not that Em and Rose didn't fully comprehend the act I was doing for them, but honestly, never had either of them questioned me on how I thought I would cope giving the baby up after nine long months. Maybe that was why I had been so shocked when Edward had asked.

I was expecting my Dad at any time, so I couldn't let myself fully relax, though it was hard, especially when I was sat so close to Edward, leaning on him as we watched Super Nanny. I can't really say why we had ended up watching it, but I was enjoying watching it with him, making comments on how we would deal with the unruly little brats that were being shown.

I can't tell you how grateful I was when Edward had offered me the opportunity to come and stay with him. It had already become clear by the time he and his Dad had arrived at the hospital, that I would probably need to go back to Forks with my Dad, until I could sort out my apartment or rather what was left of it. The idea of going to Forks though, it was cringe worthy. Not that I didn't want go stay with my Dad, but the less time I had to be in Forks, the better, is all I can say.

As much as I had loved growing up there, the sense of community spirit and the safety of the little town. Everything was so different there now. Every time I had been back to visit since leaving for college, I felt like I was drowning there. Slowly having the life squeezed out of me. I had never really fit if I was honest, the expectations people had of me, were just unrealistic in my eyes.

The thing with Forks is, everyone knows everyone else's business. There are no secrets. I know that everyone hates my Mom. They always had apparently. She was a chaser of dreams, never going to settle, and if she was, it would definitely not be in Forks. She was essentially an outsider my Dad had met when he did his police training here in Seattle, and had tagged along back to the small town.

Sometimes I truly did understand why she hated it so much in Forks. She was never liked, she was different from others. Of course, I suppose it didn't help when all she could ever talk about was the lack of sun, shopping malls, and any other modern convenience Forks lacked.

Growing up, I had always been compared to my Mom. In my younger years, having looked very much like her, made it difficult for the town to forget how badly she had broken my Dad's heart. Add that to the fact I was always getting into some kind of trouble, I was dubbed Renee's daughter through and through. So not only was I known as the Chief's delinquent daughter, I was known as that hussy Renee's Daughter. I was never just Bella.

The older I got, the more I looked more and more like Charlie, and the less I was compared to Renee. That didn't last long though, the moment I announced I was planning on going to Arizona for college. 'Just like her Mother', was what people said. I just wasn't good enough. And never would be, in the eyes of the older members of the town.

So when Edward had offered me to stay with him, can you blame me for jumping at the chance. Other than the fact that it would mean I wouldn't have to return to Forks with my Dad, it would also mean I got to actually stay with him. I guess I was a glutton for punishment, but being able to spend more time with him, was almost like a dream.

Edward and his Dad had been so supportive, from the moment they had arrived at the hospital. Both had constantly reassured me that everything would fine. It was what I needed right now. As much as I knew I was going to love living with Edward, the fact that my own home was off limits right now, didn't escape me.

Finding out that I was definitely pregnant, it was weird. Half of me felt like Emmett and Rose should be there, but the other half was pretty pleased with how I had come to find out. I had, had the support of Edward, and of course Carlisle. But on some levels, it actually made my being pregnant feel normal. Like Edward was the Father and I was the Mother. It was nice to pretend in my own mind, just for a few seconds, it gave me an idea of what it really would have been like if it was me and Edward having a baby. And I can't say I was at all disappointed, well other than the reality of it not being ours at all.

When the doctor had released me, it was then I realized my lack of clothes. How long would it be until I could get back to my apartment to collect my belongings? Not only was I without clothes, but I had no money, no bank cards. Nothing. I could feel the panic rising in me. But Edward and Carlisle were quick to quash it.

I had been a wreck all day, my emotions were all over the place, it felt like every few minutes I was bursting into tears over the smallest of things, I slept most of the day away, and yet, I hadn't suffered with morning sickness at all. I knew that wouldn't last for long however. By tomorrow I would be right back to my routine of spending the first moments of my day with the porcelain Gods. But I suppose now at least I had a definite reason as to why.

I had just been drifting off to sleep again when there was a knock on the door. I practically jumped out of my skin, causing Edward to laugh quietly at me, as he explained it was probably my Dad, before getting up to answer it.

"Hey Chief Swan, c'mon in." I heard Edward say.

I stood up and began walking across the room to where my Dad had stepped through the doorway. He looked old, old and tired. He didn't move toward me like I had expected, instead he chose to stand and sort of inspect me. It was like he was doing an inventory to make sure I still had all my body parts. Either that or he really didn't trust Edward, and he was trying to decipher whether or not he had interrupted something. I can only say I wished he had.

"Hey Dad." I forced a smile, trying to ease whatever worry he was running through his mind right now.

It seemed to break the ice, and in less than four strides, my Dads arms were wrapped tightly around me, squeezing me tightly to his chest. It was one of those hugs that only a Dad can give, and I found myself clinging to him, revelling in the safety I felt in his arms.

"Oh baby girl," He pulled away, placing both of his big, rough hands on my cheeks, his thumbs swiping away my tears, as he looked, searched in my eyes for answers. "Are you sure you're ok?"I now knew what it was he had been looking for. He was waiting to find out whether I would tell him the truth.

"Yeah, I'm... I'm ok." And I guess I was. There was nothing seriously wrong with me. "Just a little tired, maybe one or two bruises here and there, but nothing that a few days rest can't fix."

My Dad seemed happy with my answer for now, pulling me tightly back into his arms. I was a Daddies girl through and through, and there was nothing that one of my Dad's hugs couldn't solve for me. Or so I liked to think.

Edward offered us both a drink, and my Dad some dinner, before disappearing from the room, obviously trying to give us some privacy. I felt guilty for him not to be able to hang out in his own home as he usually would, but I was also grateful for these few moments he had allowed me to have with my Dad. I filled him in on both myself and Rose being pregnant, and as expected he did worry about us both being pregnant together, but after I told him it would be fine, and that Edward was also a back up, he seemed to calm. Whether that was because I had mentioned Edward or not, I wasn't sure, but I liked to think so. My Dad seemed to have taken a shine to Edward, and rightly so after all he had done for me.

"So um... Esme's in Forks at the minute," I told him, after I'd filled him in about the fire.

"Oh yeah, I know, I saw her the other day when I was heading out of town. Heard about her too in the store."

Of course he had. The moment Esme had driven into town, she would have been at the top of peoples gossip list. I could see it now. Of course it didn't help that Esme would stick out like a sore thumb, mainly because she was an unknown. The people of Forks thought for you to live in their town, they had to simply know everything about you, and if they didn't they'd make it up, stereotype you.

"Did they at least get anything right?" I asked, a chuckle in my voice.

"A recent divorcee, running away from an abusive husband." Was his reply.

I couldn't help but laugh loudly at that. They couldn't be any further from the truth. Not only was Esme happily married, but I don't think you could ever even imagine Carlisle being abusive. He was too much like my Dad, who despite the fact he carried a gun, the only thing he shot at were game, and even then, eighty percent of the time he missed.

"God help the gossip mills when they all descend."

We chatted a while longer until Edward reappeared offering my Dad a bed for the night. I wasn't sure what bed he was offering since I was currently staying in his only guest room, but I was grateful for his thoughtfulness. My Dad of course declined, deciding now was the perfect time for him to get going. It was a four hour drive back to Forks, and he had 'promised' Sue he would call in on his way back to let her know I was ok. I refrained from telling him he could just call her, but I couldn't be that cruel. He obviously just wanted to see her. And who was I to deny my Dad his piece of happiness.

Despite my arguments to the contrary, my Dad left me a couple of hundred dollars in assorted bills on the coffee table, 'to see me through', he told me. I hated taking his hard earned money, especially when I had money of my own, but all he saw was that his baby girl was currently having to wear another man's clothes. He also couldn't help double and triple checking with both Edward and I, that I would be ok staying here until my apartment was ready.

Edward offered to walk my Dad down to his car, which whilst I found it a little odd, it was also Edward's nature to be a gentleman. I watched from the living room window down at the street. I could see both my Dad and Edward appear, shake hands, before Edward stepped back out of view, and my Dad climbed into his patrol car and drive away.

As usual, I felt a little emotional watching my Dad drive away. I hated that he had a four hour journey home, where only an empty house was waiting for him. I know he had Sue, and I was pretty sure they both spent equal amounts of time at each others houses, but it was a worry I assumed I would always have for my Dad. I was his only family.

I was that caught up in my thoughts of my Dad returning to Forks all alone, that I didn't notice Edward come back inside, until he wrapped me in a hug from behind. His strong arms, encasing me in safety and comfort. His chin resting on my shoulder after he'd planted a kiss to my cheek. To him it was a friendly gesture, supportive, but to me, it was that and everything more.

"You ok?" He whispered, still holding me close.

"Yeah." I replied, brushing the tears away. "It's just hard you know. He's all I've got."

I gave Edward's arms one last squeeze before stepping away. It wasn't what I wanted, but I knew any longer in his arms, would make things awkward, long hugs from behind were not something friends did often, and when they did, they didn't linger longer than necessary.

"So the people of Forks think your Mom is a a divorcee running away from an abusive husband." I told him as we sat back down on the sofa.

I loved Edward's reaction. He burst out into laughter, a real belly laugh, that you'd imagine to come from a really carefree person. His laugh was infectious, and soon I had joined him. Even though I had expected something similar, I still found it hilarious at how wrong they were about Esme.

"Jesus, if that's what they think about my Mom, what the hell are they gonna think about Alice?" He asked during a pause in the laughter, only to begin laughing again.

After the laughter had completely died down, we sat for a while longer watching TV, though I can't say I paid too much attention to what it was that was on. Whilst Edward had been completely oblivious, his words about what Forks would say about him and his family bothered me. I felt protective of them, and I didn't want them to become victims of idle gossip of Forks, which honestly could be incredibly cruel at times. Eventually it got pretty obvious I wasn't really paying attention when Edward had to practically shake me from my thoughts. At that point I excused myself to bed, however sleep was the last thing I did.

Laying in bed, staring up at the ceiling. Whilst I had been hell bent on avoiding Forks, I now found myself feeling like I needed to be there to help protect them from the people of Forks. The Cullen's were an absolutely amazing family, and they didn't deserve the sometimes vicious comments of some of Forks individuals. It was a double edged blade though. The moment I was seen with them, the gossip mongers would be running wild.

At some point I managed to fall asleep, only to wake up a few hours later. The room was in darkness, and for the first few minutes I was confused as to where I was. The funny thing was though, the moment I realized I was at Edward's, I felt so safe, and immediately fell back to sleep, though unfortunately it wasn't a deep sleep.

Maybe it was a mixture of my body not recognising it's surroundings, half expecting the noises from the pipes to start clanging, and quite probably scared to sleep too deeply for fear another building fire may happen. Whatever the reason it was, the moment the traffic began picking up outside, down on the street, I was wide awake.

Seeing that it was close to six am, I crawled out of bed, and padded my way from the room. I hadn't even gotten to my bedroom door when my stomach rolled slowly, and I knew what was going to happen.

"Well good morning, morning sickness, how I didn't miss you yesterday." I muttered to myself as I wandered into the bathroom.

Sure enough, not two minutes later, I was on my hands and knees, with my head in the toilet bowl. Morning sickness was a strange thing really. Throwing up was never a nice thing, and even worse when it was first thing in a morning, but oddly, once it was over you felt better somehow. Like you had purged all the badness from your body, ready to start the new day fresh. It was a strange way to think about it, but I decided to go with it, it sounded much nicer than any other reason medical professionals could ever come up with.

After cleaning myself up, I crept down the hall out into the main room. Edward wasn't up yet, or if he was, he was still in his room. I felt a little guilty about rifling through his kitchen cupboards, but I was hungry, and I thought maybe making him breakfast would be a nice way to say thank you for letting me stay. What I didn't count on, was the sheer lack of food he had. His refrigerator was pretty empty too, not even a single egg.

My stomach rumbled hungrily, my mouth watering at just the mere thought of food. Obviously 'Pip' was hungry too. There was nothing for it, but to go and and get some food for us, and then maybe go grocery shopping later. Either Edward was due to go, or he lived the typical bachelor lifestyle and lived off of takeaways. And as much as I loved takeaways, I couldn't live off of them for next however long I was here.

Heading back to my room, I grabbed my clean, dry sweats from the small laundry room. As much as I loved Edward's t shirt and boxers, there was no way I was going to be wandering outside dressed in them. It was bad enough having to venture out in the old sweats I had arrived in, regardless of how clean they were.

I dressed quickly, before writing a note and leaving it on the kitchen counter in case Edward woke up while I was gone. I grabbed a few notes from the coffee table, where I had left them the night before, and headed out, remembering to grab the spare key Edward had told me to use.

Although myself and Edward lived quite close to each other, I had no idea which eateries were decent around his apartment building, and since 'Pip' was becoming pretty picky about what they liked, I decided to head to the small bakery two blocks away from my building. It wasn't a long walk, and anyway it was worth it for the croissants alone.

After ten minutes of walking, I found myself not where I had aimed for at all. It hadn't been a conscious decision, I know that much, but here I was, standing across the street from where my apartment building was. Or rather should be. I literally felt all the air rush out of me in one huge breath, like someone had kicked me straight into the stomach.

There was nothing left. Nothing at all, just a... a shell. All the windows had gone, obviously having smashed through the heat. One corner of the building wasn't even there, looking like it had caved in. There was red tape all around the perimeter of the building, warning people of it's danger.

Words simply cannot describe the devastation I felt. My whole life had been in that building. All my belongings, little knick knacks I had collected over the years, photos of friends and family, clothes, cell phone, absolutely everything. But more importantly, my home was gone. There would be no moving back in once the damage had been fixed, there wouldn't even be any going and collecting essentials. There were no essentials left.

"Are you ok dear?" A frail old voice asked cautiously.

I turned to see an older lady stood on the front steps to the apartment building that had been opposite my own. She looked concerned and it was then I noticed my tears. Mix that with how I was dressed I was sure I looked like a mad woman.

"That was my home." I replied, causing more tears to fall.

"Oh I am sorry."

"Thank you." I forced a tight smile and began walking away.

I had no idea what to do now. I had renters insurance, but without seeing the paper work, I couldn't tell you which company I was covered with. I didn't have any I.D which would make going to the bank to withdraw cash in person incredibly difficult. I couldn't even begin to comprehend what I had to do to start sorting through everything.

I passed a small grocery store, reminding me of my original intent, but I was no longer hungry. In fact food was the last thing on my mind right now. I felt like I was drowning in a ocean of questions, that I had no idea where or who to get the answers from.

"Bella!" A voice shouted.

I looked up around me, and immediately spotted Edward running toward me. Here he was, my knight in shining armour. He didn't stop until he got to me, and then I was pulled up into his arms. I could feel how tense he was, but within moments he was beginning to relax.

"Jesus, do you have any idea how worried I was when I woke up and you weren't anywhere in the apartment?" I wanted to be angry with him for how scolding he sounded toward me, but I just couldn't find the energy to care.

"There's nothing left." I whimpered.

"Nothing left of what baby?" He tone had softened completely.

"My apartment."

Without another word, he tucked me under his arm and began leading me back to his apartment. Even when we finally got inside, he never once let me go, instead cuddling me closer as we sat together. He still didn't speak, just let me cry, let me get everything out. Maybe it was what I needed, just an outlet for all my hurt and anger that suddenly seemed to appear as if from nowhere.

"Sorry," I apologized some time later as I sat up away from him.

"What are you apologizing for?"

It was a genuine question, but at the same time I had no idea how to answer it. What was I sorry for? Was it even aimed toward Edward, or was it just in general? God I was such a mess, none of my thoughts seemed coherent.

"Bella, you have nothing to apologize for. Nothing."

"All I've done since you picked me up yesterday, is cry." I mumbled.

"And with good reason. You're whole life's just been turned upside down, it's natural to feel a little out of sorts. But I promise yo this, I will help you through it, but you gotta let me, ok?"

I nodded sorrowfully, and cuddled back into his side. I had never been one for accepting help gracefully. I had always had such an independent streak, I was like my Dad that way, I guess. But this time, whether I liked it or not, I didn't have a choice. I needed help, and I was just lucky enough that Edward, was yet again the one willing to give it.

While I sat cuddled up with him, I told him what had prompted my morning walk, which eventually lead me to realizing he hadn't gone to work, or was even dressed with a purpose to going later, followed quickly by the fact I hadn't even let Jane know why I was absent. After Edward told me he and his Dad had discussed him having the rest of the week off to help me settle in, he offered to go out and get us some breakfast whilst I used his cell to get the number for work, and then ring Jane.

Surprisingly, the moment I got through to Jane's office, she asked me how I was. Apparently one of my co-workers passed my building every day, and had seen the tail end of the fire, and had told her. I felt absolutely awful when she told me she had spent a few hours yesterday ringing the local hospital to find out whether I had been admitted. Whilst Jane quite often came across as a bit of a bitch, she had never been anything but nice to me, I tried to apologize for not calling the day before, but she wouldn't hear of it. She then told me she didn't want to see me back at work until Monday, and even then if I didn't feel up to it, then all I had to do was call. I told her that if she needed me for anything, she should call Edward's cell, as he was my only way of contact until I could get hold of my phone company.

By the time I had ended the call, Edward had returned with some breakfast. My appetite still hadn't really returned, but I did manage to pick at a few things, well after Edward's gentle pushing me to do so. I think even then, I only ate to both placate him, and because I had to look after myself now, so that I could look after 'Pip'.

"Right, so this is the plan. We're gonna go shopping. I think you'll need more clothes than the sweats your wearing and my clothes, and then some groceries, since my cupboards are pretty bare." Edward told me, after we had finished eating.

I blanched at the idea of going shopping with Edward. Though my Dad had given me some money, I knew there was nowhere near enough to go on a proper spree to get everything I needed to. I had so much that I needed to do. I had no way to get any money from the bank, so I would need to go and sort something out in order to access the little money I had in savings. Essentially, I had to rebuild my whole life.

"Edward, I can't." I mumbled.

"Why?" He asked.

"I just... I haven't got enough money. I need..." I hated having to admit that I had nothing. Just me knowing was shameful enough

"Baby, we need to get you some clothes. Then we can start working out what else we need to do." He told me, his voice soft.

"You can't."

I felt awkward about even thinking about letting him pay for some clothes and stuff for me. I didn't want him to feel like he had to, or even feel sorry for me. Ok I didn't have much in savings, but I had enough to buy me a few outfits, and the other few essentials that I had lost in the fire. I just had to figure out how to access it.

"If we don't go, Alice will only drag you later." He had a point, but it didn't mean I was going to simply agree.

"Edward, you've already done so much for me, I can't ask for more."

"You're not asking, I'm offering. And I wouldn't offer if I couldn't afford it."

It didn't feel right. It was like I was a charity case. I know he didn't intend for that, but it still felt that way. I had never been great at accepting help from others, and I wasn't about to start now.

"If it makes you feel any better, you can pay me back once you're all sorted out." He had obviously read my hesitance well.

The idea of me paying him back made me feel better about possibly accepting his offer, then add that to the fact it would get me out of having to go with Alice, whom I had already had first hand experience of what she was like around clothes, and that hadn't even been in a mall, just her bedroom. I nodded minutely, giving my acceptance to him. He smiled happily at me, trying to ease me, but he failed for the most part. I suppose this was the difference between me and Edward. He had money, and didn't mind how he spent it, whereas I had to watch every penny I spent. I lived a relatively simple life at the side of he and his families extravagant ones. Not that they threw their money around or showed off with it, but the differences were noticeable.  
After a little more coercion, Edward lead us down stairs to the parking garage where his shiny silver Volvo was waiting for us. Maintaining the perfect gentleman façade, Edward opened my door for me, closing in gently behind me, before dashing around to the drivers side. He had asked me where I wanted to go to buy some clothes, but I didn't really know. Most of my clothes I had acquired in sales from the more expensive stores in Seattle, but I wasn't about to buy regular priced items from them. And when I had suggested wall-mart Edward scowled at me, before sighing heavily whilst shaking his head.

I didn't pay attention to where he was driving if I'm honest. It was only when he pulled in, in the mall parking lot, that I realized Edward had no intention of letting me shop in wall-mart or anywhere like that. To my knowledge, there were no cheap clothes stores here, mostly all higher brands of clothing, which although were nice, not very affordable to me.  
Edward came and opened my door for me, helping me climb out, before taking me hand and leading me across the parking lot. I didn't put up much of a fight but I certainly held back some, which of course didn't go unnoticed by Edward.

"Please Baby, just do this for me," He turned to face me, his warm hands cupping my cheeks.

I didn't say anything, I just let out a low sigh. I doubt anyone could say no to him when he pouted at me in that way. He seemed to have the saddest possible face ever. I fought hard against acknowledging the affect that cute little pout had, because I knew he would use it every time from now on. Alice had tried a similar pout, but honestly it was no where near as affective as Edward's.

"Thank you." He whispered.

His hands remained on my face, neither of us pulling away from the moment that seemed to be passing between us. I could feel his warm breath on my face, his eyes locked with mine. I instinctively licked my lips, my heart beating wildly in my chest. Everything I had felt that first night in the bar with him, came crashing back ten-fold. My want and need for him driving me crazy. My mind screaming at me to stop this, to back away. There was only ever going to be one person that got hurt here, and it was definitely going to be me. After what was, I'm sure only mere seconds, but felt like hours to me, I heard Edward whisper another thank you, as his hands ran from my cheeks to cupping my shoulders as he pulled me into a hug.

It felt awkward and forced because I was so tense. I had known all along that he didn't want me, and he had just proven my point. He had been the one to end the moment, and although I hadn't knowingly put myself out there, he had stomped on my heart, again. I know he wasn't meaning to hurt me, but the sad fact was, that he was. Every time we got close, and he backed away, it killed me. And for that reason alone, I knew that this whole living with him, whilst it was going to be great to be able to spend time with him, it was also going to kill me. Being so close to something I wanted so badly, and yet knowing I couldn't have it. That the feeling wasn't returned.

"Just be thankful you're here with me and not Alice." He tried to lighten the moment as we stepped inside the building.

Yes, I was thankful, more than he could probably guess. But it didn't mean to say that I was going to enjoy this experience with him either. Maybe in any other situation, I might have... no strike that, I wouldn't, I hate shopping at the best of times. But knowing he was paying for everything, well it put a downer on my mood even more so than actually doing the shopping, did.

Edward pulled me into the first store, before turning and looking, wanting a direction to what I wanted or needed. I took a glance around and saw nothing but really high end fashion, things I would never dream of wearing really. Now either Edward really didn't have the first clue as to how women shopped or he was trying to drop some serious hints toward my fashion trends. I shook my head dismally, before swallowing my pride and lead the way to one of my favourite stores.

Edward followed faithfully, taking items of clothing from my arms that I was intending to buy. Which honestly weren't many. By the time I deemed myself finished, I had two pairs of jeans, two pairs of black slacks, two shirts and two t shirts. I began walking toward the cash registers, when Edward pulled on my arm, stopping me from going any further.

"You really aren't planning on making this easy for me are you?" I returned his comment with an innocent look. "Bella, there's like four outfits here..."

I could tell he was getting frustrated by the way he kept sighing, running his long fingers through his hair and pinching the bridge of his nose. I can't even say I blamed him for being frustrated with me, Angela often told me I was the worst shopping partner, and rarely ever took me, or went with me. I had always been this way. I never usually browsed in stores, I always went in picked up exactly what I wanted or needed and got out of there. I didn't linger, or try clothes on, I simply picked my up my size and that was it.

"Look, can you just forget about whose paying, and get the things you need? Shop how you would normally."

"This is how I would shop normally." I replied.

I could see him fighting against the urge to laugh. I could see why he might be amused by this. I can't imagine he'd ever been shopping with Alice or Rose and had such an easy time. They both probably went into every single store, tried on numerous outfits, before buying less than half of the items they had taken into the dressing room, before moving onto the next store, only to realize one of the items in the second store, would go perfectly with one of the items they had failed to buy in the first store.

"Ok, well for you own sanity, and mine might I add. We need to get you more than this. When Alice comes over, she will, and I promise you this, she will check your closet, and the less you have, the more she will go out and buy for you, and you and I both know she won't give you any choice."

He was right. Alice would most certainly find some fault with my wardrobe, and feel it her duty to fill my closet with endless items of clothing of which I would probably never wear. But at the same time, I just couldn't let myself loose with Edward's money. It didn't feel right. He worked hard for his money, and though he had told me, that he lived a much simpler lifestyle than he could afford, it didn't make me feel any better about having carte-blanch over his money.

Edward took my silence as agreement, and pulled me back into the depth of the store, as he helped me pick out items for both work and everyday wear. He did have good taste, and I hadn't disliked anything he suggested, which after the first dozen times of him asking, he took full control and just showed me items before slinging them over his arms, unless I had said a definite no.

By the time he had finished, I had at least twenty different outfits. I tried without success at telling him to replace a few things, that I didn't need that much, but his only response was for me to go stand by the exit while he paid. That was the only argument I won all day, when I refused, telling him I needed to know how much everything had cost so I could work out a repayment scheme. Though he didn't like it, and told me that I was earning him cash back, I would still not be deterred.

We had that many bags from the one store, that we had to go back to the car to drop them off, before he dragged me back inside for round two with shoes. We were like an old married couple bickering over everything. I was sure two pairs of shoes were plenty, but he strongly disagreed telling me we wouldn't be leaving the store without at least five pairs. When I tried to argue, he quickly shot me down, exclaiming that five pairs wouldn't even be ten percent of what he knew were in both his Sisters and Mom's closet. Unlike Alice though, he did let me buy more than one pair of sneakers, and only once pushed me towards a pair of ridiculously high heels, which he told me made my legs look amazing. How he could tell though when I was still wearing my sweats, was beyond me.

After shoes came the part I had been dreading the most. Underwear. Edward though, made it incredibly easy, and fun. He kept picking up really odd looking pieces, and holding them up to his chest, winking at me trying to be seductive, then asking in such a feminine voice if I thought it suited him. After such a tense morning, it was exactly what I needed. Even through the laughter, I still had a hard time picking out items though, which became even harder when one of the young assistants came over and openly flirted with him in front of me. I was a little angry about that. Of course we weren't dating, we were nothing more than friends to each other, but she wasn't to know that. As if sensing my discomfort, Edward abruptly told her no, kissing my forehead as he often did, and spinning us away towards another rack of underwear.

I managed to put a few things in the hand basket, but I just didn't feel comfortable picking out things with Edward around, and most of all, allowing him to buy them. It was something a boyfriend would do, not a friend or even a room mate. It was almost intimate. Edward was either really good at reading me, or completely oblivious and bored, as he made an excuse of going and sorting me a cell phone out, though not before telling the assistant at the cash register to charge everything to his account.

The moment he was gone from the store, I whizzed around, plucking a few bras and panty sets off the shelves before rushing to the register. The assistant gave me an odd look, probably wondering why Edward hadn't hung around when it had only taken me a mere few minutes to gather what I wanted.

"He wants them to be a surprise." I smiled sweetly at her, thanking the heavens above that I had put at least a few, what could be classed as sexy pieces in.

She tried to return the smile, but it looked more like she was sucking on a lemon than anything. As much as I hated having lied about mine and Edward's relationship, I have to say, I rather enjoyed the pretending even if only for a few minutes. I left with a wide smile, thanking the assistant, and walking out of the store, letting them think Edward and I were an item. It certainly for those few minutes helped my self esteem, especially considering I was still wearing my sweats and the flip flops the hospital had given me to go back to Edwards in.

I caught up with Edward in the cell phone store, he was busy talking to one of the male assistants about the pros and cons of each phone they had on display. I walked up behind him, resting my hand on his lower back to let him know of my presence. Without breaking his conversation, he wrapped an arm around my shoulder, pulling me into his side, immediately making me feel included.

The assistant kept droning on about how this cell was better than that cell, and so on and so forth. A cell was a cell to me, so long as I could text and call, it didn't matter. After Edward had listened to everything the guy had to say, he subtly told him we would have a think and come get him when we had decided, before turning to me and asking my opinion. I began looking at the price tags until Edward stopped me, telling me that he would chose the most expensive one. Not really knowing much about phones, I told him to pick me the easiest one to work, of which he teasingly told me I sounded just like his Dad who never moved at the same speed as technology.

After another five minutes of debating in his own mind, he eventually picked one for me. It took another ten minutes for him to purchase it, arranging for me to keep my original number, before we were able to leave. I was absolutely beat, which wasn't surprising after Edward had told me that we had been here for close to three hours. Three hours of shopping, I don't think I've ever spent that amount of time in one go in a mall before. Whilst I had enjoyed moments, I actually began to dread the moment Alice got me to go shopping with her, which I think we all knew was more of a when, than an if at this point.

"Thank you." I told Edward, as I leaned against the car, watching him pack all the bags inside. "I know I'm difficult, and I've probably got on your last nerve, but I want you to know, I really do appreciate what you're doing for me, and I promise I'm going to pay you every single cent back the moment I can withdraw money." I rushed out.

"Baby, I don't care about the money, and you have in no way got on my nerves. I doubt you ever could. So please stop worrying about it. Ok?" He replied as he pulled me into a hug. "And you are more than welcome." He added, planting a sweet kiss to my forehead.

We remained in the hug, neither of us, yet again seemingly wanting to let go. Being in Edward's arms, was, for lack of a better term, perfection. It was safe, warm, comforting. I was pretty sure he was the perfect man, and he was it for me. There would never be any other man who got close to being as amazing as Edward, and I knew that every man who came into my life, would forever be compared.

It didn't escape me, that once again, the embrace was becoming more intimate. Holding each other longer than what was generally acceptable for friends. It felt like every time I got to be close to him like this, I kept pushing my luck with him even more. It wasn't good, and I knew this. One day, he would turn away, realize exactly what was happening.

"So. Um, I think we best get you and 'Pip' there fed and then we can go and get some groceries. How does that sound?" He asked, pulling away from me yet again.

I realized it was he, for the second time that had pulled away from me. And whilst I knew I should be thankful that at least one of us was keeping in control, it did hurt. Knowing he didn't want me. Twice now in one morning I had given him ample opportunity to show anything other than friendship toward me, and both times, he had been the one to back down.

I had to stop doing this to myself, it was no good. It hurt more and more each time. It was like a slap to the face, telling me I wasn't and would never be in Edward's league. As much as it pained me to admit, but even the assistant in the lingerie store was closer to being in Edward's league than I was. I was just me, plain old Bella Swan. Where Edward was practically a God. People like him, didn't date people like me. Pure and simple fact.

I agreed, but told him McDonald's or something would suffice, considering I didn't feel dressed up enough to sit in a restaurant of any kind. He wasn't sure he liked the idea, since McDonald's to him was neither healthy or filling, but once I pointed out we could always eat an earlier dinner once we had shopped. This seemed to placate him for now.

Grocery shopping was much easier than clothes shopping. Not only was I in my element, Edward it seemed was out of his. I had to wonder how he had even coped up until this point. Though he knew what basics he needed to buy, when it came to other things, he was a blank. As I shopped I mentally made each meal in my head, deciding what we would need. I knew Edward could cook, but shop he couldn't. He just seemed to put any old thing in the basket. Though it was nowhere near paying him back, it was nice to know, that I could at least cook him some decent meals while I was living with him. The idea seemed to appeal to him too, after he admitted that he usually ate take out or ate at his parents, not having seen the point in making meals for just himself.

On our way home, Edward got a text from his Mom telling him she wanted us to go for dinner tonight. She had come home early after hearing what had happened. Though I was tired, and really could do without having to socialize that night, I agreed, especially after I was told Em and Rose were meant to be attending. I felt like I had to go after hearing that.

I helped Edward put the groceries away, trying to familiarize myself with the layout of his kitchen. Edward too it seemed felt a bit like a stranger in his own kitchen, which made me laugh. He reminded me so much of my Dad in that moment. The only thing my Dad knew how to find in his kitchen was the beer in the refrigerator.

After putting everything away, I excused myself to go and get ready. I took a quick shower, unsure whether Edward wanted one, and whether or not his shower would work at the same time. It probably would, his apartment being as modern and as expensive as it was, but still, I couldn't be sure. I picked out a simple jeans and sweater combination as well as some ballet flats. I was in no mood to impress tonight. Not that I thought any of them would mind, except maybe Alice, but even then she had to give me a break surely.

Edward was ready almost the same time as I was. We left immediately, since we were already running a little behind schedule. On the journey over there, I felt oddly tense, almost like I was meeting them all for the first time. It was strange, and I couldn't place why I was feeling that way. Edward certainly didn't seem tense, or to even notice my awkwardness. Maybe it was just hormones. The one good thing about being pregnant was I could blame anything and everything on hormones if I wanted to.

In what felt no time at all, Edward was pulling into his parents driveway, parking right behind Alice and Jaspers car. It didn't look as though Em and Rose had arrived yet, so I presumed they were maybe coming straight from Spokane. And for that I wouldn't envy them. It was a long enough journey at the best of times, but to do that, and then have to have dinner at your parents, was a little rough in my book. But I guess with family like the Cullen's, get together's never really felt much like a task.

"Hey, we're here, and hungry." Edward called. Obviously the McDonald's from earlier hadn't filled him enough.

He lead the way into the living room. Alice, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle were all sat around. Upon our entry, everyone came and gave me a hug, asking if I was ok. Esme seemed to be hanging back, she had tears in her eyes, and I couldn't help but wonder what on earth was wrong with her. When it was her turn to hug me, she gave me an extra squeeze before pulling away, but keeping my hand in hers.

"Is it true?" She whispered after making sure everyone else was occupied.

Strangely enough, I knew exactly what she was talking about. It had been one of my fears right from the start. But she knew now, and there was no point in hiding it. But that didn't mean I was going to admit to anything easily.

"It depends what version you heard." I replied. To anyone else it may have been a cryptic answer, but I knew without a doubt, Esme would understand what I meant.

**Ohhhhhh what is it that Esme knows? Wow, ok I think this is my longest EVER chapter at over 8500 words, so please please please leave me some feedback. Thank you in advance :D**


	20. Tell her about it

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

**A/N : **Ok, so as was pointed out to me by **Linz832** in my only review **:(** Bella and Edward are starting to get a bit annoying by not sharing their feelings for each other. I get that, and that is why I am **promising** you all that the will they/won't they is coming to an end **very** soon. And as an idea given to me by** Bandeforever16**, for every review, I will send a **teaser** for chapter 21 **:D :D :D D**

Chapter 20

_Listen boy I'm sure that you think  
You got it all under control  
You don't want somebody telling you  
The way to stay in someone's soul  
You're a big boy now and you'll never let her go  
But that's just the kind of thing she ought to know_

Tell her about it, tell her everything you feel  
Give her every reason to accept that you're for real  
Tell her about it, tell her all your crazy dreams  
Let her know you need her, let her know how much she means

_Billy Joel - Tell her about it_

"Dear God Edward, just tell her already. You like her, she likes you, what more do you want?"Emmett told me.

We were sat at the bar in Joe's, having a manly get together. The girls were all over at Em and Rose's trying on dresses for Alice and Jaspers wedding that was in just over two weeks. Though Alice had tried her hardest to get Bella to agree to be a part of the wedding party, my girl had remained adamant she would be much happier sitting in the pews of the church watching. Alice however got her way, making sure she picked a dress for Bella.

"That's just it Em, she doesn't. We're just good friends." I argued.

"Jesus, Jasper you try and beat it into his head will you." Emmett sighed. It seemed at times Emmett was more fixated on me and Bella getting together, than I was.

"Em, man just leave the poor dude alone. If they're meant to be, it'll happen."

Thank God for Jasper. He always had been the voice of reason, and it was nice to know he had my back right now. He didn't interfere in peoples lives like Emmett did, but if you asked his opinion you got it, whether he thought you would like it or not.

"Look, Em. I know you think she likes me, but I just can't put myself out there. I'd rather have her as we are now, than risk everything by telling her how I feel in case she doesn't feel the same."

Before Em could respond, Jasper's phone beeped with a text message from Alice, telling us we could return. Or in other words, we had to return. And we all knew what Alice said went. You couldn't argue with her, she was too powerful in arguments, sometimes not even having to use words. I had only ever been on the receiving end of her wrath once, and it wasn't something I had ever wanted to experience again. By the way Jasper stood quickly from his seat, I gathered that he too had once experienced it, and like me, wasn't willing to go through it again.

"Jeez, what is this. The little woman calls and you both go running." Emmett teased. "Whipped is what you are." He added, chugging down the rest of his beer, before standing with us both.

"And like you're not." I jokingly retaliated. "I mean look at you, you finished your beer pretty quickly for someone who isn't whipped."

Emmett opened and closed his mouth a few times, struggling to find a valid argument, and coming up empty. He didn't have an argument, and he knew it. He was probably the most whipped of the three of us. Even more so now because not only was he at Rose's beck and call, he also had to acknowledge that he was at Bella's too, when I wasn't

"Honey, we're home!" Emmett called as we walked through the front door.

We followed the chatter into the living room where all three girls sat around. There wasn't a trace of evidence that they had been having a final dress fitting, which only made me realize what Alice had meant when she said it was top secret and we had to go out for the evening. I personally couldn't wait to see what Bella was going to wear, especially since I hadn't seen her in a dress since our night out, some two months prior.  
Over the past month, I had noticed more and more 'moments' between us. They had really started the day after Bella's apartment fire, when I took her shopping. There were at least two different occasions in that afternoon alone where I had come so close to kissing her. Every time I got close to her I was fighting a battle that slowly but surely, I was losing. I tried so hard to stop, knowing she didn't want me like I wanted her. Besides she had far more important things to focus on.

It didn't' stop me though. Every opportunity I had to even just hug her, I grasped with both hands and clung on, enjoying every second of having her close to me. I knew I was a glutton for punishment, I was setting myself up for hurt, but right now, any hurt seemed worth it. Emmett had told me he and Rose were fine with it if we were to date. He encouraged me a lot, often telling me it would work out great because Bella would then officially become his sister. Personally I thought he was racing too far ahead with that one, but at the same time I was desperate to join him. Besides I had more to lose now, than I ever had before.  
By now Bella and I had been living with each other a month, we had fallen pretty easily into a routine. I tended to be the one to make breakfast, since Bella didn't always want it when she was having a particularly bad morning with morning sickness. We would then head off to work together, where I dropped Bella off at her work place, before heading onto my own. Depending on what time either of us were finishing, I would pick her up and head home, where we cooked dinner together. It was like we were an old married couple, and I loved every minute of it.

Things hadn't always been this easy though. I quickly learnt how independent Bella was. She hated the idea she owed anyone any money, practically reminding me every day that she hadn't forgotten that she owed me. I personally couldn't have cared less. I actually had no intention of allowing her to pay me back, and was constantly trying to think up ideas of how to either stop her, or give it back to her without her knowing.

It hadn't been easy dealing with her bank either. As we expected they wouldn't allow her to withdraw any money without an I.D, but she had none. I had helped her apply for another passport and drivers licence, but both items could take weeks before they arrived. As it was, she still hadn't received her passport, but thankfully the bank had allowed her to withdraw minimal amounts of cash by using her drivers licence.

The whole process of getting her back onto her feet was slow and arduous. Even I felt as though for every step forward we took, we were pushed back ten. Bella tried remaining strong through it all, but I could see the process was wearing her down. She put on a brave face in front of family and friends, but I was the only one privy to her breakdowns, which we had taken to blaming on 'Pip' messing with her emotions.

As much as I hated that Bella was hurting and stressed, I couldn't help but be pleased that I was the one here, helping her pick up the pieces. It made me feel like I was more than the friend or room mate. And I absolutely loved informing Em and Rose how Bella was doing, what she was craving, what she was disliking, how she was doing with her morning sickness. It made me feel closer to her somehow.

I never thought of 'Pip' as mine, but seeing Bella growing such a tiny baby bump, I couldn't help but wish harder that it was actually mine and not my Brother's. I had heard all about how pregnant women get that glow, how beautiful they are. I had never really taken much notice, but with Bella I had. Even when she was having her worst days with morning sickness, she looked gorgeous. Seeing her become more and more pregnant with another man's child didn't put me off at all, if anything it made me want her more.

"You've just missed Mom." Alice told us as we sat around the room. "She wants us to go to Forks at some point to paint our own rooms."

I couldn't help but watch Bella's reaction out of the corner of my eye. Bella always seemed to tense up whenever Forks was mentioned. After the night at dinner with my parents, her reactions seemed to be even stronger. I was worried about her. Both she and my Mom had disappeared for a good hour before dinner, returning later, excusing their absence as they had gotten caught up in discussing how Bella was coping with the pregnancy. I wasn't sure how much I believed them, especially when I was sure I could see faint tear stains on Bella's cheeks, and neither she or my Mom would look me in the eye for the rest of the evening.  
On the way home when I had tried to question Bella on it, she brushed my concerns away, telling me I was imagining it. I knew I wasn't though. I just didn't know what it was. I wasn't sure whether it was Forks that affected Bella, or the idea of us all going there. Every time I thought I had narrowed it down, other options came to mind. There was definitely some avoidance issues.  
She didn't disappoint with her reaction, immediately tensing and avoiding eye contact. It was like she thought if she wasn't looking she wouldn't be involved in the conversation. Every time she was asked questions about Forks, she would answer as loosely as possible, but if she could avoid answering or even taking part, she would.  
I felt like I was caught between rock and hard place. On one hand I wanted to know what it was about Forks that caused Bella's reaction. Was there someone back there that had hurt her somehow, or was it simply just bad memories. But at the same time as wanting to know, I just wanted to protect her, keep her from anything that had the chance to hurt her. And Forks in my eyes, was hurting her.  
We all agreed that we would have to call her the following day when we could figure out when we were available to go, and then the subject was changed. Emmett teasing the girls, trying to find out what the dresses were like, even threatening Alice that he would cut the ass out of his pants and go commando if she didn't tell him. Any other time Alice would have called his bluff, but as it seemed with everything wedding related, if you threaten to ruin her big day, you were landing yourself in serious hot water.  
The moment the words came out of Emmett's mouth, it was like the whole room took an intake of breath. It was like he had just thrown down the gauntlet. Alice's eyes automatically closed into tight slits, her glare enough to scare the crap out of anyone. Emmett pretended to be oblivious to it all, but even I knew he had to be kicking himself right now.

"Emmett Cullen, if you so much as dream of doing that, not only will you be eating through a straw, I will personally see to it that Rose has to become a lesbian because all your man parts will have disappeared." Alice's voice was terrifyingly calm. It was the kind of voice you expected from a parent or grandparent. You know the kind where the quieter the voice the more threatening.

Emmett looked perfectly chastised, as he nodded once. He was probably envisioning Alice ripping away his crown jewels. He was scared and he had every right to be scared.

"I'm glad we understand each other." She smiled happily.

Both myself and Bella left not long after that. Bella couldn't stop laughing the whole way home, how Alice had caused so much fear in Emmett. It was incredibly funny really. Emmett was nearly double the size of Alice, yet he had cowered from her, when in actual fact, he could probably crush her with his little finger if he really wanted to. Whilst we all knew, including Alice, that she would never win a physical fight, she was tough, and had always won the arguments. After all, she had grown up with two boys, she'd had to learn to fight back in her own way. She used the fact that neither Emmett nor myself would ever physically fight with her, to her advantage. Growing up, when Emmett pissed me off, it would usually end in a wrestling match of some kind, but with Alice, we obviously could never take it that far.

"So, I kinda need to ask a favour?" Bella broached the subject with me.

This was new. Bella rarely asked for anything, so I knew it must be important if she was asking. I tried not to let the surprise show on my face, because the last thing I wanted was for Bella to feel like she couldn't come to me. I'm pretty sure I managed it fairly well.

"Shoot." I told her as I unlocked the door, letting us back into the apartment.

"Alice wants me to sing her and Jaspers first dance, song at the wedding. I haven't decided yet, but I kinda think I need to at least think of a song for them, you know, just in case." She explained. "So, since you know both of them better than me, I was wondering if you could help me?"

"Of course I will." I answered without even thinking about it.

I think we all knew that no matter what she had asked of me, I would have told her yes anyway. I was just lucky to actually be able to do this. But it wouldn't have mattered either way. Bella pretty much owned me, without even really knowing. I was equally as whipped as Emmett and Jasper, but I was oddly proud to be. I was actually eager for Bella's midnight cravings to kick in. I wanted to be the one who drove around at three am in the morning looking for a particular brand and flavour of ice cream, or something equally as odd.

"And, I was um... I was hoping that... maybe..." She stuttered nervously. "That... maybe... you... couldsingitwithme." She said the last part so quickly, I wasn't sure I had heard her right.

"You want me to sing it with you?" I had to clarify. She nodded shyly. "Sure." I shrugged my shoulders, trying to make it look like it was nothing.

It was important though. My God, my girl was wanting to sing a duet with me. She was wanting me to stand up there with her, and help her through something that I knew would be difficult for her. The only time I had seen her sing alone had been when she was completely wasted. It would be a privilege to sing with her.

"Thank you." She smiled brightly, immediately relaxing.

"Any time." I told her, leaning forward and kissing her forehead. "So I think I should go and get my ipod, and we'll have a flick through it for some ideas, ok." I told her, heading to my room to collect my ipod.

We sat on the sofa huddled pretty close together as we scrolled through the songs I had stored on there. I suppose I could have used the i-home, but honestly, having to share an earphone each, sitting close was a much better way if you ask me. We spent the following hour or so picking out songs until we had narrowed it down to about ten. Bella was constantly worrying that Alice and Jasper wouldn't like our choices, and whilst I understood how she felt, I also knew that my Sister and best friend would love anything she sang.

"But it's not like it's undo-able. For the rest of their lives together, they have to live with the song we picked." Bella worried.

"Baby, it's just a song. It's not like it's going to define them as a couple or anything."

"No, but it's their first dance as a married couple Edward. It's not something you can ever get back."

"No-one will remember what song it was, I promise. I mean I couldn't tell you a week after Rose and Em's wedding what they danced to. All anyone will remember is that you sang, you sounded amazing, and Alice and Jazz looked amazing."

"I'm pretty sure Alice and Jasper will remember Edward. I just... I want it to be perfect for them."

I one hundred percent understood what it was she was saying, and honestly, I did agree with her on some levels, but I just didn't wasn't her to work herself up over it. It wasn't worth the worry. It was at this point I cursed Alice in my mind. Why she couldn't have given Bella a list of songs she would like, and just let Bella choose from that. But no, Alice wanted Bella to pick, Alice had to put that pressure on someone else's shoulders. Damn pixie.

"Ok. How about, we keep it between us that I'm helping you. I'll drop a few hints to Alice and Jasper about the choices we've made, and feel them out for the one they like the most, or even if they have an idea what they would prefer. That way, we'll know what they want, without them knowing that you know."

It was the best solution I could come up with. Of course what I wasn't going to tell Bella, was that I was going to actually sit down with them both and make them pick a few favourites from a bigger list, and then I would narrow it down from there. I was caught between rock and hard place. Bella was freaking out wanting to be perfect for them, and Alice and Jasper wanted a surprise. One of them had to give in a little, and in my mind it had to be Alice and Jasper, as I'm sure they would both agree with me, it wasn't worth stressing Bella out over it. She was already strung high enough with the idea she was possibly going to sing for them.

Bella nodded in agreement, finally relaxing over the situation. We continued sitting huddled together, just listening to random music that was being played. It was relaxing to just be able to sit, and not have to speak or even think for a while. Both of our lives had been pretty hectic over the past month. Not only had Bella had to deal with getting her life back in order, but she had also started working late, bringing work home. I suspected at first that it was because she was falling behind after the amount of time she had, had to take off, but after nearly two weeks, it began to become blatantly obvious that she was doing it to earn extra money, with the idea she could pay me back sooner. After that, I ended up making a deal with her, making sure that part of the deal was that she had to stop working so much overtime. She drove a hard bargain, but eventually we came to a mutual agreement. She was going to pay me a hundred and fifty dollars a month, only if she stopped working so much overtime, and stop worrying about how much she owed, or how little she was actually paying. What she didn't know however was that every dime she was giving me, was going to, in one way or another end up right back in her pocket. I just yet had to find out how I was going to do this.

"You want some supper? Pip's hungry." Bella asked suddenly.

She had a habit of rubbing her stomach whenever she spoke about 'Pip'. I wasn't sure how conscious of her action she was, but I thought it was incredibly sweet. There was no physical sign as of yet of her being pregnant, not so much as a tiny bump. Whereas Rose was now visibly pregnant. Though I suppose having that two month edge on Bella, it was to be expected.

Whilst Rose was in the midst of her second trimester, morning sickness a thing of the past for her, Bella was still very much in the thick of it. In fact some mornings she would be in the bathroom for up to an hour, I wasn't sure how she was even bringing anything up. The first morning it had happened, I had gotten so worried I had called my Mom in a panic, begging her to tell me what to do. Of course she told me there was nothing I could do, she simply had to ride it out, but she did come over, after I called her for the second time. I don't know whether it was because she was more worried about me or Bella, however.

Bella seemed to be so sensitive to food. One morning she'd be craving it, and then the next, it was causing her to be sick. I couldn't keep up with her, so I could only imagine how she was feeling, since she didn't know how she would react to any foods until she had actually eaten it. Even with the sickness though, her appetite was incredibly healthy, on more than one occasion she had stolen food off Emmett's plate. Which amazed us all, since Emmett never, and I do literally mean _never_, lets anyone take food from him. But the moment Bella mentioned it was Pip who wanted the piece of prime rib, he relinquished it without a blink of an eye. I think she sometimes took food from him just to wind him up, and I've got to say, I loved seeing her do it.

Emmett, it seemed was becoming the overly emotional Father to be. The three of them had invited me to attend Bella's first scan two weeks ago. We had all crowded around Bella, who I can't imagine was particularly comfortable having us all in there, when there was a doctor performing an internal scan, all up in her business. But she had been a trooper, never once letting go of Rose's hand. The moment the baby was pointed out on screen, which I swear it was no bigger than a kidney bean, Emmett broke down in tears, and since Rose was busy weeping to Bella, conveying her gratitude over and over, leaving me the job of consoling my older Brother. I probably would have found it hilarious had I not felt as amazed as I did. You could probably have knocked me down with a feather at that point. Actually seeing the baby, solidified everything. There were no more possibilities, it was actually happening.

"You sure it's Pip and not just you?" I teased, climbing to my feet, prepared to make her what ever it was she wanted.

I had promised Emmett and Rose the night at our parents a month ago, when they returned from Spokane, that I would look after her. Not something I really needed to be asked to do, since I was more than prepared to do it anyhow, but seeing how much my Brother and Sister in law cared for Bella, was touching. And I knew they weren't simply asking because they had just had Bella's pregnancy confirmed to them. They were asking because they genuinely cared. Not that I ever doubted it.

"Ok, maybe it's the both of us." Bella replied sheepishly, with a little giggle.

She eventually, after rifling through all the cupboards and refrigerator, decided on some cheese on toast, then poured a healthy amount of mustard on it. I can't say it looked all that appetising, but she seemed to enjoy it. I kind of hoped this was about as weird as her cravings were going to get, I don't know how much I could stand to watch her eat, if she started putting whipped cream on pickles, like Em had told me Rose had done.

"Right, I'm going to grab a shower and then hit the sack. Night." Bella told me, hopping down from the stool at breakfast bar, before stepping toward me and standing on her tip toes to kiss my cheek.

"Night baby." I replied, as I watched her disappear.

Jesus, just her doing something so simple like pecking my cheek, sent tingles throughout my body. It was such an innocent action, but to me, I just wished it meant more than I'm sure she intended it to. I often thought all the moments we shared, where I could have sworn there was more between us, was all in my imagination, which quite honestly wouldn't surprise me.

After locking up, and turning all the lights off, I headed to my own room, wishing it was our room rather than mine. It was just wishful thinking on my behalf and I knew it. I sometimes wondered when I was going to stop torturing myself. Hell I wondered when my family were. Practically every time I was alone with Em, Rose or Alice, they gave me the Spanish inquisition as to when I was going to tell her. They were all convinced that she felt the same. So convinced they had never actually asked her. None of them had any solid proof, and that was only one of the reasons I was keeping my mouth shut.

Sleep wasn't easy to come by, but I did eventually fall into a light sleep. At one point I was sure I heard movement in the apartment, but my mind was so foggy with sleep, I drifted back into sleep. It was a siren whizzing past the building that woke me up, and for the first few seconds of consciousness, I actually found myself back to the night of the fire at Bella's apartment. I knew it wasn't right, I knew it wasn't. Bella was in the next room, hopefully sleeping soundly, but just the memory of that night, and the fact I had heard the sirens that night too, unsettled me.

After twenty minutes of tossing and turning, followed by my stomach rumbling with a pang of hunger, I got out of bed, and padded out into the kitchen, being blinded by the bright lights in there. Rubbing my eyes, I could have sworn I turned them off earlier. Shaking my head putting it down to Bella having woken up for a drink or something earlier, I opened the refrigerator and pulled the carton of milk out, preparing to make some cocoa and maybe some toast or something. I was just about to light the stove, when I began hearing a fumbling coming from the front door. Silently, I tiptoed out from behind the counter and reached for one of the stools, lifting it into my arms, preparing to swing it at the intruder, praying Bella wouldn't wake up and come and investigate.

Over the blood pumping in my ears, I could have sworn I heard a key turning in the lock, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was the adrenalin pumping through me that was causing my imagination to run wild. The door suddenly swung open scaring me half to death. I was lucky my reaction wasn't to swing the stool, because right there, looking scared out of her wits was Bella. She let out a little yelp, stepping quickly back into the hallway, out of reach of the stool.

"Jesus Bella, what the fuck are you doing?" I snapped, putting the stool back on the floor.

What the hell had she been doing? Where had she been? It was... shit, I don't even know what time, but it was early, and she had been out, on her own. Anything could have happened to her, and I would never have known.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, flinching as she walked past me and I slammed the door behind her.

"You're sorry, you're sorry. Oh that's ok then." I was mad, ok no I was furious. "I thought you were a fucking burglar or something, I nearly beat you to death with the fucking stool."

"I said I was sorry." I could barely hear her voice, she was that quite.

I quickly realized I was probably scaring her, with my erratic breathing, and clenched fists, but I couldn't help it, I had images of her being attacked, while she had been out there all by herself, quickly followed by me hitting her accidentally with the stool. I closed my eyes, taking a few deep breaths, before opening them, immediately spotting tears pouring down her cheeks. God I was a monster, I had done more than just scare her.

"Shit, Bella, I'm so sorry, you just scared the crap out of me." I told her, reaching out to first grab her hand.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think you would be awake." She wept.

"Oh baby, please don't cry. I'm so fucking sorry." I pulled her into my chest.

I held her close to me for a few moments, loving how she felt against me. Well until I could feel her tears dripping onto my bare chest. I realized then how much I had hurt her. I never wanted that. I never wanted to be the reason behind her tears, and it killed me to know that I was.

"Where the hell have you been?" It probably wasn't going to make the situation any easier, but I had to know.

"I... I woke up... and couldn't get... back to... sleep... because I was... craving hot... dogs." She wept.

It was then I noticed she had a bag in her arms, probably holding the hot dogs she had wanted. Something so simple as having a craving had turned into such a drama, and it was all because of my overreaction.

"Damn baby, you should have come and gotten me. I would have gone for you." I felt like a complete ass.

"You already do enough Edward." She pulled back slightly, rubbing furiously at her eyes.

"I'm sorry baby. I didn't mean to scare you." I gently nudged her hands out of the way and softly wiped her tears away for her. "But, you've got to promise me, next time you want something in the middle of the night, and we haven't got any in, promise me that you'll come and get me." I told her, immediately seeing her begin to argue. "Even if we go together, I don't want you out there alone. Anything could happen to you." I added as a bargain.

"Ok." She replied, with a gentle nod.

"Right, so how about we get those hot dogs cooking, cause I'm pretty hungry myself right now," I suggested, wanting badly to put the last few minutes behind us.

So this is how at two thirty in the morning I found myself in the kitchen making and eating hot dogs with Bella. I fought to forget the memories of the morning so far, but I couldn't believe how much of an ass I was towards her. I had treat her like she was a prisoner here, and she wasn't. She was free to come and go as often as she pleased, she didn't owe me so much as an explanation as to where she was going or anything. There was no wonder she had shied away from me.

Whilst we were cooking, I apologized yet again, and I knew it wouldn't be the last time. I tried to explain to her exactly why I had blown up at her, and my reasoning's for not wanting her wandering the streets at night. I think by the time I had finished explaining, she understood where I was coming from a little better, and thankfully agreed that she wouldn't do it again.

After such a late night, we both decided to go into work a little later than normal, but that didn't stop me hearing Bella rushing to the bathroom at just after half past six. After fifteen minutes and having not heard her leave, I stumbled from my bed, and down the hall, listening for whether she was in the shower. The water wasn't running, but I could hear Bella groaning every so often.

"Bella, you ok?" I asked, my throat thick with sleep, as I knocked on the door.

"Ugh..." She began to answer, but was interrupted by another round of sickness.

"Bella, I'm coming in, ok." I told her, before slowing opening the door.

I pushed open the door, finding Bella on her knees in front of the toilet. Her arm was resting on the seat, her forehead resting heavily on her arm. She was letting out tiny little groans, signalling her discomfort. I hated this. I just wished I could make her feel better. If there was the one part of her being pregnant that I hated the most, this was it. I hated seeing her suffer.

"I think hot dogs are officially off of the menu." She tried to joke, but I could see through it.

I knelt beside her, sweeping a few loose strands of hair from her clammy forehead, before planting a soft kiss there. I rubbed her back gently, just selfishly needing that little contact with her.

"Ok, I think I'm..." She began pulling back. "Nope." And just like that, she was back for round, well who knows what round she was on.

The first few mornings we had, had like this, Bella had been so embarrassed about me seeing her being sick, but after I had explained to her, that I had lived in a house with not only Emmett but Seth, and had seen them both too many times to mention, throw up after a night out. It eased her a little, well enough for her to be comfortable for me to be in there with her, but she would always try and shield me from actually seeing her be sick. That of course didn't stop me from actually seeing, or knowing she was no longer bringing anything up.

A few minutes later, she made a move to get up from the floor. I clambered up first, before offering her my hand. She looked wiped out. Come to think of it, I felt about as tired as she looked. I wrapped my arm around her, as we ambled back to her room. Bella without a word, crawled into bed, snuggling under the covers. I began to tuck her into them when she reached for my hand and gave it a tug, gesturing for me to get in bed with her.

Maybe it was because I was tired, but then I doubted it, but I willingly climbed into bed with her, feeling her immediately cuddle up to me. It was like a little slice of heaven. Feeling Bella laying against me, with me, it was all my dreams come true. It didn't matter what reason she had, or the fact she saw me as her friend, all that mattered was that she wanted me to be there for her.

It was some of the best sleep I had ever gotten, and we had only been sleeping for just over three hours, when I finally woke up. I had never felt more rested, more comfortable. I didn't want to get up, and by the way Bella kept snuggling further into my chest, fighting her consciousness, I could only assume she would agree with me. It was unfortunately inevitable though. We both had to face the day at some point. _Stupid jobs_ I thought.

I began thinking of ways I could get back into bed with Bella later. Obviously not in that way, well not yet, probably never that way, but surely if I felt this good after only a few hours, I could only imagine what a full night with her would feel like.

"Bella, c'mon Baby, we gotta get up." I whispered, kissing her forehead.

Her eyes fluttered open followed by her immediately squinting against the brightness of the room. She let out a little groan followed by a sigh. I had quickly learnt that Bella was not a morning person, and it was made even worse since she was deprived of her morning cup of coffee. In fact the first few mornings of us getting ready fro work together, Bella had unconsciously scowled at me the whole time I was drinking my own coffee. After that I tried to drink my coffee out of the view of her.

An hour after getting up, I had dropped Bella off at her work, and had arrived at my own. Mrs Cope had greeted me as usual, telling me my Dad had asked her to tell me he wanted to have a word when I arrived. I nodded my response, begging her to make me a strong cup of coffee, having forgone one back at the apartment. I headed to my Dad's office, knocking quickly before entering. He was in the middle of a call, but gestured for me to sit down in the chair opposite. Mrs Cope thankfully brought me my coffee just as my Dad was finishing his call. I thanked her, practically dropping to my knees and kissing her feet.

"I don't think I've ever seen anyone so grateful for a cup of coffee. Late night, or early morning?" My Dad chuckled.

"Both. First I couldn't sleep, then I got up for some cocoa or something, only to hear someone trying to get into the apartment. It only turned out to be Bella coming back in after going out to buy ingredients for hot dogs. Shit dad, I nearly hit her with one of the stools in defence."

"What time was this?" My Dad asked, clearly concerned about the idea of Bella being out on her own.

"I don't know, I think about two, maybe three am." I answered him. "I kind of blew up at her, but she scared the living daylights out of me."

I finished telling my Dad about the rest of our morning together, including the morning sickness and going back to sleep together. He found it highly amusing that something as simple as laying in bed together, had sent me into such high spirits. Of course he knew why, which I think only added to his teasing. He like Emmett believed I should tell Bella, but he didn't bring it up every time I spoke to him, like Emmett did. Eventually my Dad got around to telling me why he wanted to see me, which was only to get the clearance to approve of a meeting next week, and also to remind me to call my Mom about heading to Forks. That was the next thing on my to-do list.

"So Alice said you were wanting us to head to Forks to paint our own rooms." I relayed the information to my Mom, that my Sister had given me the night before.

"Oh yes honey if you can that would be very helpful."

"Did you have a specific day in mind?"

"Um, no not really."

"Ok, well I'll call Bella during lunch and find out when she's free, then she can come with us."

It was a low blow, I knew if there was something going on, my Mom would struggle to think on her feet. She was never very good at lying, which I suppose is an admirable quality, but I was convinced there was something about Forks that set the tension in Bella off, and I was convinced my Mom knew what it was.

"Oh well, actually, I don't think that's a very good idea." Hmm there it was.

"Why? I mean it'd be a perfect opportunity for Bella to show us around town."

I knew what I was doing, and I can't say I was particularly proud, but still, I was hoping my Mom would tell me, want to gain an ally to prevent the rest of my family from putting pressure on Bella to go to Forks. If I knew why she was avoiding it in the first place, I could help. But more than that, I wanted to know. I didn't particularly want to find out from my Mom, I wanted Bella to tell me, but I suppose my Mom was as good as second best.

"Well, ah, well, paint fumes aren't really very healthy for pregnant women, so it would probably be best if Rose and Bella stay here in Seattle."

Shit! She had me there. And she had secured herself by including Rose. I couldn't argue against it, simply because it would look obvious if I were to insinuate that it didn't matter and they could still come. I didn't want my Mom to figure out that I knew something was up, because she would only become more secretive and prepared for anything I could use as an argument. What she didn't realize was, that the more secretive she and Bella were, the more curious I became.

My Mom asked me to pop over after work to check the paint I had chosen was the right one. I tried to tell her it wouldn't matter if it wasn't, but the moment she said she would make Bella and I dinner, I knew it was all just a rouse to get Bella over there. My Mom had become incredibly attached to Bella, and not just because she knew Bella's secretive past in Forks, I think their closeness would have always been there regardless.

Bella seemed pretty fond of my Mom too, which was pretty obvious when I called her to check she was ok to go to my parents for dinner that night. She practically jumped at the chance, though that could also have something to do with the fact my Mom was cooking dinner. Bella was definitely taking the 'eating for two', excuse to heart lately. Not that I was complaining, the fact she had a healthy appetite at all considering all the throwing up she was doing, was pretty great.

I left work at the same time as my Dad, he heading toward home, and me to collect Bella. By the time I pulled up outside her office, she was stood on the curbside eagerly waiting for me. She practically lunged her way into the car, clearly eager to either have finished work, or to get to my parents.

"Good day?" I asked as I pulled away.

"Long." Bella groaned. "Lauren has driven me insane." She admitted. "She keeps asking for your number... I'm tempted to just give it to her to shut her up."

"You wouldn't dare." I laughed at her teasing.

"I don't think you're in a position to be a betting man Edward." She joked.

"You're right, but at least save me. Give her Emmett's number... Rose would crush her." I suggested, laughing at the mere thought of Lauren and Rose having a confrontation.

"Ohh you could be onto a winner there." She admitted jokingly.

The rest of the way to my parents, she gave me the whole run down of why Lauren had annoyed her so much that day. I have to admit, some of things Bella had told me about her, didn't exactly show her in the best of lights. In some ways she reminded me of Tanya. Of course I just had to let that slip didn't I.

"What was Tanya like?" Bella asked.

"I guess you could describe her as the stereotypical blonde bombshell." I admitted.

I truly didn't want to be talking to Bella about her. In my eyes Tanya wasn't fit to breath the same air as Bella. Not only that, we were pretty close to my parents house, and the last thing I wanted was to bring up the subject of Tanya in front of them. My Mom had some particularly strong views on her, and whilst it was amusing to see such a gentile women such as my Mom, turn the air around her blue with expletives, it wasn't really something I wanted Bella to hear. Well not right now anyway.

"She had a similar style to Rose I guess. Though as I came to learn, that was where the similarities ended."

"You loved her?"

"I thought I did." I answered as I pulled into my parents street.

"And you were going to marry her?"

"Yeah. Listen Bella, can we... can we not talk about her right now?" I asked as I pulled into my parents driveway.

"Oh yeah, sure, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry." She clearly thought I was uncomfortable talking about her.

"It's fine, it's just.. well Tanya... she's a touchy subject around my family."

And just like that, the subject was dropped. I knew she had further questions, and I hoped she was going to continue asking them later when we got home. I didn't particularly like talking about Tanya, but I hoped since I was going to be lettering her into my past, she hopefully would offer me the same privilege. It was my one and only bargaining tool right now.

"Hey sweetie." My Mom greeted me after Bella when we walked through the door.

"Hey Mom." I gave her a hug.

She immediately lead me into the garage where she was currently storing all the paint we would need for our trip to Forks. It was all organised into boxes for each room. She gestured for me to pick the box up that was meant for my room, before leaning in and lifting the lids of the cans. They were exactly what I had picked out, and I told her so.

"Are you sure you want those colours Edward?" She asked me.

"Yeah Mom, I'm sure. Why the worry?"

"Well, it's just they're very 'you', colours, that's all."

Huh, I was thoroughly confused. They were meant for my room weren't they, so therefore being 'me' colours should be right. Right? My confusion must have shown on my face as I told her this.

"Oh I know honey, it's just that, well I don't really think they're Bella's kind of colours." There was a hint of a smile when she said this, but I was still confused over the whole 'me' colours that I wasn't paying one hundred percent attention.

"What has Bella got to do with it. It's my room, right?"

"Oh my baby boy, you really just don't see it do you?"

"See what?" I was getting a tad frustrated now. She was talking so damn cryptically.

"Ok, let me just put it this way honey. I don't think your room, will be your room, for much longer." And with that she kissed me cheek and disappeared back into the house.

What the fuck! Was I understanding her correctly?

**Ok, so I know this was more a filler chapter than anything else, but it had to be there to set everything up for the next few chapters. However I do absolutely _PROMISE_ that we are getting there. So just a reminder, for every review, I will send out a _TEASER_ for chapter 21 – so PLEASE get to reviewing for me, even if it is to complain :) **


	21. Ladies night

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

_Huge thank you's to my wonderful reviewers – **Velvetwhispers**, **Linz832**, **Bwithyourforever**, **Lauren**, **Cullenlvr83**, **Meyer-Madness** and **Bandeforever16** x2 – you guys are completely amazing, and I hope you enjoyed your teasers **:D**_

_**A/N : The pictures of the girls outfits have been uploaded, so check out my profile for the link :D**_

_**A/N2 : Again for every review, there shall be a teaser :D**_

_**A/N3 : So sorry for the delay, FF.N wouldn't let me update. But never mind, here it is :D**_

Chapter 21

_Romantic Lady , single baby  
Mm sophisticated mama  
Come on you disco lady yeah  
Stay with me tonight , mama ,yeah_

If you hear any noise  
It ain't the boys , it's ladies night , uh huh

Gonna step out ladies night  
Steppin' out ladies night  
Gonna step out ladies night  
Steppin' out ladies night

_Kool and the gang - Ladies night_

"That's not fair," Emmett pouted. "Why should you get to go get free drinks from Joe's?"

"Because Alice is the only one going to be drinking." Rose argued.

They had been arguing like this now for over half an hour. A simple discussion on where we were all spending Alice's hen, and Jasper's stag nights, had quickly turned into the long drawn out debate. Emmett had to be fair, got in there first saying that the boys planned on spending their evenings at Joe's, but Rose quickly jumped in stating that, that was where we had planned to be. Of course we couldn't compromise and just go to the same place, or agree that no-one should go to Joe's, no we just had to keep rehashing the same old arguments over and over, in hopes that at some point one of us would get bored. Of course the only ones who really cared were Rose and Emmett, and neither of them seemed to be willing to back down.

"Exactly Babe, it'll be a cheap night for you, us on the other hand, we can all drink."

"And exactly whose fault is it that me and Bella can't drink, huh, Emmett!"

Rose was by now well into her second trimester. Gone was the morning sickness, and in was the mood swings. Even I sometimes struggled to keep up with what mood she was currently in, so I had no idea how Emmett really coped. Whilst we all knew Rose was so ecstatic to be pregnant, I knew she was struggling to harness her feelings, that quite often did make her like a total bitch. I could only hope that my own hormones didn't reek as much havoc. Emmett though, was a complete gent about it all, he took blame for all manner of things without even batting an eyelid.

The first time she had blamed him for being pregnant in front of us all, we had all gasped in surprise. Not only in shock of her behaviour, but the shock of Emmett's nonchalant shrug in response. It had only taken her a few minutes to realize what she had said, and had broken down in tears. This alone scared me to death. I was constantly worrying that I would say something to them, that they would take serious offence to. I hated the idea of hurting any of their feelings, especially Edward, Emmett and Rosalie's.

"Yeah that's right babe, big Daddy here knocked you up good and proper." Emmett replied proudly.

"Oh shut up." Rose scoffed. "The girls and I are going to Joe's and that's final."

"Er, no babe, I think you'll stand corrected."

This could seriously go on forever. For the first few minutes, I had sat beside Edward, amused at the stupidity of the arguments, but as time went on, Edward, Jasper and I, just got incredibly bored with it. The only people it seemed that cared where we went, were Emmett, Rose and Alice. Why Alice cared was beyond me, the only information Rose would give her about her hen night was that it was meant to be, being spent at Joe's, everything else was meant to be a surprise, not that there was much left to be surprised about.

"Do you think if we sneak out they'll notice." Jasper hissed at me and Edward.

"Yes we will Whitlock." Alice snapped mid argument..

Thoroughly chastised, Jasper sunk even further into the sofa, looking about as bored as I felt. As bored as I was though, I wasn't about to join in or even try and solve the problem. Instead I concentrated on how to get myself, Edward and Jasper out of the way. I'd heard more than enough, I was close to declaring myself unavailable to go on Alice's hen night just to shut them all up.

"Well Pip and I are hungry, so me and the boys will be in the kitchen." I announced loudly, knowing none of them, including Alice would argue with this particular pregnant woman.

Jasper moved so quickly, if I had blinked I would have missed him. He was suddenly stood in front of me, offering me his hand to help me up from the plush sofa. It wasn't like I was anywhere near big enough yet that I had to have help getting up out of furniture, but I knew it was his way of sealing his escape route. I was just his shield. Edward quickly joined us as we shot out of the room toward the kitchen.

We could still hear their voices, each of them trying to be heard over the opposing two. Honestly I have to say I probably felt more sorry for Emmett, not only was he the only male in there, but he was the only one fighting for Jaspers cause. The mother hen in me started to grow, feeling the need to go and protect him. That however didn't mean I was going to listen to my inner mother hen.

"Bella, Hun, you are a gem." Jasper thanked me graciously.

"Any time." I replied, as I clambered up onto the stool, Edward hovering as he usually did in case I fell. "I wasn't kidding though, we're hungry." I rubbed my little bump.

"Yes Ma'am." Jaspers smile got bigger as he pulled open the refrigerator door.

Edward sat next to me as Jasper listed every ingredient available, pulling out what I had said yes to. Whilst my appetite was rather broad these days and I craved certain foods at ridiculous times, I had yet to have any odd cravings. I was a little disappointed about that, since everyone always told me that I would be asking for stupid things like oranges dipped in mayonnaise or something, and though it sounded disgusting, to me it was a part of being pregnant. It would be the only time I wouldn't think twice about eating something so horrible, or freaking Edward out with it either.

"FINE!" I heard Rose shout. "That's fine, us girls will go somewhere else, even better."

"Don't try and use reverse psychology on me Rosie, there is no where better than Joe's." Emmett replied.

"Maybe not for you guys, but since the plan was to have a nice quiet evening in Joe's, and you're not happy with it, then we might as well go all out and head to that new male strip club."

This was the first I had heard about a new male strip club opening up. Rose or Alice had never mentioned it before, and I was sure had there actually been one, there wouldn't have been an argument about where we were going. But Emmett, dear poor Emmett walked straight into it.

"Er, I think not babe. You are not taking my baby into a place like that. The guys who work in places like that are probably crawling with every STD known to man."

I turned to look at both Edward and Jasper, but found them both concentrating fully on the argument now. Neither looked particularly happy at where this argument was heading. Both actually looked as though they were gearing up for stepping in.

"Well it's either there or Joe's." Rose told him. "And just think babe, at least at Joe's, you know we'll be ok, no-one will pop anything into our drinks, and you can even come pick us up at the end of the night." Her tone softened completely, enough so that I could barely hear her.

That was clearly the end of that argument. Even if she hadn't been using reverse psychology and had actually decided to change her mind and go somewhere else, now she had mentioned how much safer we would be in Joe's, the guys wouldn't even think about letting us go else where. It was amazing how protective the three of them could be.

"I think I ought to apologize in advance in case I get like Rose." I told Edward on the drive home later that evening.

"Baby, I don't think you could ever get quite a bad as Rose." He chuckled. "Besides, we've got a few weeks before we have to worry about that... right?"

Edward had been brilliant, he was always so on top of things. Even when he hadn't needed to attend my first appointment, he excitedly accepted the invitation to come with me, Em and Rose, stating that at least he would know what to expect if he was needed in the future. He was always on top of my cravings, and what made me sick. He practically begged me every night to make sure I woke him if I had any cravings during the night.

After that night a few weeks ago when he had caught me coming back in after going to the store, I hadn't even dared to think of venturing out, and for the most part, if I had a craving of something we didn't have, I made myself go without. Edward may have been willing to go and get me things, but I was not willing to ask him.

At nearly eleven weeks pregnant, I had a barely there bump, that honestly, unless you looked really carefully, you couldn't see. Compared to Rose though, who was now about eighteen weeks pregnant, I was tiny. Rose's bump seemed to appear overnight, to the point unless she tried to hide it, it was obvious. The part she had hated though was the in-between, when people had assumed she was just putting on weight.

Another argument she and Emmett seemed to be having lately was whether or not to find out the sex of the baby at their appointment in a few weeks. Rose wanted to know, and Emmett didn't. This was one argument he wasn't backing down on though. He was determined he wanted them both to be surprised, since it seemed to be a theme with their baby. It was an argument that only ever seemed to be brought up whenever anyone asked, so thankfully we had all learnt pretty quickly to stay quiet about it.

"I'm not sure. I mean all the books say mood swings happen during the first trimester, but Rose is well into her second now. Your Mom told us that she never really had many with you and Em, but with Alice she had them the whole way through." I told him.

"Why doesn't that surprise me." Edward chuckled.

"She thinks Rose is going to have a girl."

"Do you wanna know?" He asked. "About Pip I mean?"

It was a little bit of an odd question really. Did I want to know? Did I have the right to say I wanted to know? Would it really matter if I did know? It wasn't like I had to go and paint a nursery or anything, or buy clothes. I knew if I told Em and Rose that I wanted to know, they would allow me that privilege, whether it was right or wrong.

"I guess I don't mind. So long as it's a healthy, happy baby and I don't kill anyone during labour." I joked. "I suppose having the opposite to Em and Rose would be nice."

"I think Em secretly wants both to be girls." Edward told me.

"And here I thought he had his hands full with Rose." I chuckled.

The rest of the week went by without incident, my morning sickness now seemed to be settling down a little, which really didn't say much considering most days I spent a good hour in the bathroom, and even then trips throughout the day followed. Whilst Rose seemingly had minimal morning sickness, it seemed as though I made up for the both of us. I just hoped I wasn't going to have morning sickness throughout my pregnancy, I'd had enough of the whole throwing up gig.

Alice had been constantly calling me nearly all week, checking daily to see if I had made my mind up on what I was wearing yet. Each time she called, I tried to tell her that I had an idea but being pregnant it really meant what would fit. I knew she was desperate to tell me what she wanted me to wear, but I had warned her, that now I was developing a bump, I would wear what I was comfortable in. she must have taken the warning and managed to rein in her inner control freak.

"You'll be careful tonight... right?" Edward asked, as he drove us both to Em and Rose's where we were meeting the rest of his family to start off the nights celebration.

I have to say, I found it completely sweet that he was worrying like he was over me. He could be so overprotective at times, and sometimes I found it so annoying, but having someone to worry about me, at the same time, was nice. It had been a long time since I had anyone do that. Sure my Dad worried about me, and I knew he always would, but with him being a long drive away, it was different.

We had been living together for over a month now. It had been so easy to live with him. He was like the perfect male. He was tidy, he knew how to cook, he was caring, and best of all, in the whole time I had lived with him, hell even longer, probably since meeting him, I hadn't known him to ever go out on a date. It was selfish of me, but I hoped he never would. It was one thing to live with him, spend time with him and know I couldn't have him, but seeing him with someone who could, I think that would probably break my heart.

"Yes Dad." I replied jokingly, before becoming serious and turning to look at him. "I will probably be spending most of my night sat with your Mom, and since I can't really drink, I doubt there is much trouble I can get myself into."

"Yeah well, when I get to Joe's later, if I find so much as a scraped knee on you, there will be trouble." And I had no doubt that he would mean it.

"Is that a threat or a promise." I teased.

This was how it always was between us. It was always playful flirting, and try as I might, he never seemed to get the hint to take it further, which really only made me realize that he didn't see me as anything but a good friend, maybe even a sister. I spent my nights wishing and praying he would wake up and feel even a portion for me, that I felt for him, but it never happened.

Angela swore up and down that he did, citing that no man would do, the amount of things he had done for me, without there being feelings in there somewhere. For the sake of my heart though, I couldn't allow myself to believe her. I was scared to death to believe. Because no matter what right now, I needed him, I needed him to keep me sane, to keep me grounded.

I was a selfish, selfish person. But regardless I wanted and needed him in my life, in whatever capacity he was willing to be in it. So right now, I was taking everything he offered.

"You'll have to wait and see." He winked at me cheekily.

He really had no idea how much just winking at me, affected me. How much I wished he words were the truth, and not just said in jest.

"Oh Bella, you look lovely." Esme told me, as we both walked into Em and Rose's living room.

Esme looked far younger than her years. She didn't look a day older than thirty in her rich burgundy dress. It was a fitted bodice with thick collared straps, that showed ample but tasteful amount of cleavage, and lead to a pencil skirt. It showed her every womanly curve, that honestly didn't look as though had bore one child, let alone three. Her chestnut hair hung loosely in big curls, bounding lightly on her shoulders. She looked amazing for her late forties.

"Thank you, you look amazing." I entered into her hug.

I loved hugging Esme. Like with Edward, there was a feeing of safety in her arms, but there was more too. I guessed it was the motherly affection, something until meeting Esme, I had never experienced. Sure I had, had my Gran but her hugs had always been those of a Gran looking at a Grandchild, it had never been the same as a I imagined a Mothers embrace would be.

"Yeah Ma, you look great." Edward embraced his Mom as I greeted Carlisle with a hug.

"Well thank you. It isn't every day your only daughter is having a hen night." Yeah, she definitely was not going to look like Alice's Mom tonight.

I actually felt a little under dressed by her side. I had been shopping on my lunch hour with Angela the day before. It hadn't been a good day, morning sickness had really knocked me on my ass, and the last thing I had wanted to do was troll the stores looking for the perfect dress. But I had left it too late to say 'oh it'll wait for another day'. In the end I had picked the a one shouldered, deep purple knee length dress. I nearly hadn't tried it on, since it's slinky material would most likely cling to me. Whilst I wasn't ashamed of my tiny little bump, it wasn't like I was wanting to show it off just yet. It thankfully hadn't, and without wasting any more time, much to Angela's chagrin, I bought it.

Of course, it wasn't until I had started to get ready earlier that I realized I had no accessories, to go with it, and without I would looking incredibly plain, too plain, plain enough to stick out. So with panic registering, I had called Rose, described the dress and hoped she had something to go with it.

And here the blonde bombshell was now. As usual she looked immaculate in her pale royal blue dress, that floated down to just below her knee's. Clearly wanting to showcase her pregnancy tonight, the dress accentuated all the right things. The tick straps lead to a crossover neckline, that showed just the right amount of cleavage. It had an empire waist, a matching blue sash, which showcased her pregnancy in a classy way. There would probably be millions of pregnant women who would be jealous of her, and how she managed to look so flawless, and I would probably be one of them in time too.

She greeted me with a hug, before offering me some silver bangles and earrings. I thanked her and put them on, whilst listening to Rose update Esme on her pregnancy. Watching her talk about not only the baby she was carrying, but Pip too, and how she was thinking of going shopping in a few weeks, made me feel at ease. All my previous worries about how Em and Rose wouldn't want Pip, got less and less as time went on.

"And how are you doing Bella dear?" Esme asked.

"Yeah, so far so good. I just wish Pip here would ease up on the morning sickness some, since it's not quite just morning sickness is it." I playful chastised Pip while gently rubbing.

"You know what they say though, an easy pregnancy is usually a hard labour and vice versa." Esme told us.

I couldn't help contain my laughter as Rose's face dropped. Compared to my own, her pregnancy had been particularly easy going so far. The idea of having an easy labour was a welcome one though. I was pretty much prepared for whatever, but I can't really say it was something I was looking forward to.

"And the Hen is here." Alice called as she swept into the room. "I thought it only fitting the little black dress came out to play one final time as a single woman." She spun showcasing said dress, that was strapless, with a thin white strap just under her chest, and fell to mid thigh.

"So long as said dress remembers it is engaged." Jasper pecked her cheek as he sidestepped her, greeting Esme and his sister in turn. "Bell, you look amazing." He pecked my cheek and gave me a quick hug before heading to greet the guys.

We headed outside to wait for our cabs, where the guys each began warning us all to remain safe, to call them if we needed to, and they would meet back up with us at Joe's. Edward held my elbow as he pulled us both a few steps away from the group. He reached into his pocket, retrieving a credit card, offering it to me. I couldn't believe he was doing what I thought he was doing.

"No." I told him, giving his hand a gentle nudge away from me.

"Bella, please." He pleaded. "I'm not asking you to use it, I'm just asking you to carry it. You know for emergency use. It would... it would just make me feel better, knowing you had it."

"I have money for emergencies. Besides we're at Joe's how much trouble can we even get in?" He raised an eyebrow at me, clearly remembering the last time we were there, and the time before that. "Ok, fine, enough trouble, but I do have my own money." I told him, just as the cabs pulled up.

"C'mon Bella." Rose called. "You'll see lover boy in less than four hours."

Lover boy?

"Please Bella." Edward distracted me from over thinking Rose's words.

"Fine." I gave in quickly, knowing everyone was waiting for us, and he wouldn't back down.

"Thank you." He told me, watching with eagle eyes as I put it in my purse, then walked me over to the cab the girls had climbed into. "Be safe." He told me, kissing my cheek. "_Behave_ ladies." He bent his head into the car, looking pointedly at both Rose and Alice, both of whom snickered. I felt like I was missing out on something.

Before I had chance to ask what the exchange between Rose, Alice and Edward had been about, Alice announced loudly, and giddily, that Alec had ok'd it for the karaoke machine to be used. I internally groaned at that, knowing they were bound to at some point force me up there to sing. I was still unsure whether or not I was going to sing for Alice on her wedding day. The song had been picked, and I had even practised a little with Edward, but in true Edward fashion, he had arranged for me to be able to back out at any time. He had personally called the DJ Alice had hired and told him everything. So it was all down to how I felt on the day, though I was pretty much admitting to myself, that I would probably end up doing it since Alice wanted me to so much.

When we got to the bar, Alec had reserved a few tables in the corner of the room, nearest the bar and stage for Alice. There were a few other guests there already, all of whom I was told knew Alice from either work or college. Even Angela was there waiting. The two had met a few weeks back and got along famously, and as it turned out, one of Angela's friends from college, had also been close friends with Alice.

We were introduced to everyone, though I knew there would be no way I would remember everyone's names. The girls dressed Alice in a sash that read 'Bride to be' and handed out headbands with penis' wobbling on springs.

Without being able to drink and get Dutch courage, I found it difficult to jump head first into all the dances. I had never really been one of those people who could be the first on the dance floor, but without that bit of a buzz I felt like I was really struggling. Rose too it seemed was struggling, and sat beside me as we both sipped on plain soda, giggling as we watched Esme down a few shots and take to the dance floor. It was clear Alice got her confidence from her Mom, as Esme certainly was anything but shy.

As the night progressed both myself and Rose bit the bullet and joined everyone on the dance floor. Whilst I was still a little self conscious, now that the small dance floor was jam packed with bodies, I didn't feel quite as conscious as earlier. Alice was completely wasted, bouncing from person to person, and each song she had gotten up to sing had progressively got more and more out of tune. Rose managed to drag me up to sing R.E.S.P.E.C.T with her, which Alice also joined in on halfway through.

"Oh good lord, my feet are killing. I can't believe I used to do this every weekend in my younger years." Esme giggled as she slid onto a stool beside myself and Rose, who also had needed to rest.

Esme was it seemed, was a little worse for wear. For the most part, she had kept up with the younger girls in the group, matching them drink for drink. It was incredibly funny, seeing her this drunk. I suppose we should ideally have stopped her before now, but who were we to put the brakes on her fun, and as she had said earlier, it's not every day Alice was having a hen party. She downed another few drinks and took off again. I now knew where Alice got her energy from.

For the following two hours, myself and Rose stuck together, dancing for a few songs at a time, before having a sit down. Rose's feet were beginning to swell, and in one bathroom break I had, had to help her loosen the straps on her ridiculously high sandals. By the time it hit midnight, she'd had enough and I wasn't far behind. Most of the girls in Alice's party had either called it a night, or had gone on elsewhere, which whilst I thought was a little rude considering it was meant to be Alice's night, I could also understand it considering Joe's wasn't exactly a high end club. Alice was beginning to lag as was Angela, however Esme was still very much in the game. I had lost count of how many men she had danced with, and there were about five napkins with numbers on that she had been given through the course of the night. It gave me hope yet, that I wouldn't be single forever.

"Ugh, I hope the guys hurry up and get here, my feet are killing, and my god, I'm getting hornier by the second just watching Esme dance with that guy." Rose admitted.

Being half way through a sip of the mocktail I had been drinking when it registered exactly what she had just said. I inhaled the mouthful rather than spit it everywhere, and immediately began coughing and choking.

"Just you wait for another few weeks, and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about." Rose told me.

"Another few weeks for what?" Esme snook up behind us.

"Bella to start being insatiable." Rose told her.

"Oh yes, I remember when I was pregnant, Carlisle would..."

"I think I need to go to the bathroom." I darted up from my chair and away from the two of them before I either heard more, or they followed. Even worse if they did both.

I so didn't need to know details about Rose and Em's sex life, let alone Esme and Carlisle's. That was just more information than a person needed to know. I wasn't a prude by far, but I had to look these people in the eye, and having the visuals about their bedroom antics and skills was not going to help.

When I returned from the bathroom, I headed to the bar, requesting another Shirley Temple. Rose was now sat alone, so I requested another for her, hoping she was right when she said she hoped the guys wouldn't be too long. I was tired, and hungry now, and just generally ready to go home with Edward, even if it was to separate beds.

"Hellooooo..." Oh good God, Esme was stood on the stage, microphone in hand tapping at it as if doing a sound check. "This is for... for my um..my three girls Ali baby, Rosie and Bells." Yeah she was way past drunk now.

The first chords of the music started, and I thought I recognised it, but I was distracted by the fact she had called me one of her girls. The thought warmed my insides, I had never really had a mother figure, well not since my Gran passed away when I was six.

"I love myself; I want you to love me  
When I feel down; I want you above me  
I search myself; I want you to find me  
I forget myself; I want you to remind me."

Oh my God, I can't believe she is going to sing what I think she is going to sing.

"I don't want anybody else  
When I think about you I touch myself  
Ooh I don't want anybody else Oh no, oh no, oh no

You're the one who makes me come runnin'  
You're the sun who makes me shine  
When you're around I'm always laughin'  
I want to make you mine

I close my eyes and see you before me  
Think I would die if you were to ignore me  
A fool could see just how much I adore you  
I'd get down on my knees; I'd do anything for you

I don't want anybody else  
When I think about you I touch myself  
ahh ohh I don't want anybody else  
oh no oh on oh no yeah."

As embarrassing as the song was, Esme did actually have a decent voice, and I could imagine it would be even better had she not been drunk. It was hard not to cheer her on when she was having such a good time up there. Even a few of the younger men that had yet to leave were clearly enjoying her performance. I was just grateful she wasn't attempting to do the actions along with the song.

"I love myself; I want you to love me  
When I feel down; I want you above me  
I search myself; I want you to find me  
I forget myself; I want you to remind me

I don't want anybody else  
When I think about you I touch myself  
ahh ohh I don't want anybody else  
oh no oh no oh no

I want you  
I don't want anybody else  
and when I think about you; I touch myself  
ooh ooooh ooooh aaaaahhhh."

"Oh my God!" Emmett's voice boomed from somewhere behind me.

"I think I'm scarred for life." Edward sidled up beside me.

"I don't want anybody else  
When I think about you I touch myself  
Ooh I don't want anybody else  
When I think about you I touch myself

I touch myself  
I touch myself  
I touch myself  
I touch myself  
I touch myself  
I touch myself

I honestly do  
I touch myself  
I touch myself." She thankfully finished the song, much to relief of Emmett and Edward.

"Hey," I turned to greet Edward.

"Has she been like this all night?" Edward asked, kissing my cheek.

"That was the first song she's sung all night, but she's been on the dance floor pretty much the whole time." I informed him, taking a sip of my drink.

"Hey, you aren't meant to be drinking." He told me, reaching to take the glass.

"It's a Shirley Temple." I replied ignoring his reaching hand and took another sip.

Having Edward beside me, I felt much better. I knew I would though. I was like a lost puppy when I wasn't near him, I almost pined for closeness from him. It was ridiculously pathetic really, I knew we were and would never be more than friends, but I also knew to outsiders we probably looked much more than that, and selfishly I wanted them to think that. I wanted other girls to give him a wide berth and think he was taken.

"Oh my boys." Esme screeched into the microphone. "Let me sing you a song." She immediately turned and began flicking through the choices.

"Jesus, go drag the woman off of the stage." Emmett hissed.

I hated to break it to him, but even drunk, she'd probably whip his behind for even trying. The thing I had learnt about Esme was, drunk or not, if she was determined to do something, she was going to do it regardless. Besides I doubt she could find a more embarrassing song than the previous one.

"Yeah, yeah (Oooo)  
Uh, hey hey  
All right, yeah  
Oooo

What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man  
What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man  
What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man  
What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man,"

And yet she somehow managed it.

"Dad, do something." Emmett groaned.

"Aww leave her alone, she's having fun." Rose defended her.

Whilst I was with Rose in some sense, she was having fun, and it wasn't like she was hurting anyone, but I really couldn't see Esme managing to rap.

"And what would you like me to do Emmett?" Carlisle asked.

"I wanna take a minute or two, and give much respect due  
To the man that's made a difference in my world  
And although most men are ho's he flows on the down low  
Cuz I never heard about him with another girl  
But I don't sweat it because it's just pathetic  
To let it get me involved in that he said/she said crowd  
I know that ain't nobody perfect, I give props to those who deserve it  
And believe me y'all, he's worth it  
So here's to the future cuz we got through the past  
I finally found somebody that can make me laugh  
(Ha ha ha) You so crazy  
I think I wanna have your baby

What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man  
What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man  
What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man  
What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man,"

I just couldn't refrain myself from sticking my fingers in my mouth and letting out a shrill whistle for her. She certainly wasn't doing a good job of the rapping, but hey you have to give it to her for trying, and I don't think there was anyone in the crowd displeased with her performance.

"Bella, Jesus don't encourage her." Emmett whined.

"Oh shut up Em, she's having fun." Rose bit back before I could reply.

"My man is smooth like Barry, and his voice got bass  
A body like Arnold with a Denzel face

He's smart like a doctor with a real good rep  
And when he comes home he's relaxed with Pep  
He always got a gift for me every time I see him  
A lot of snot-nosed ex-flames couldn't be him  
He never ran a corny line once to me yet  
So I give him stuff that he'll never forget  
He keeps me on Cloud Nine just like the Temps  
He's not a fake wannabe tryin' to be a pimp  
He dresses like a dapper don, but even in jeans  
He's a God-sent original, the man of my dreams

Yes, my man says he loves me, never says he loves me not  
Tryin' to rush me good and touch me in the right spot  
See other guys that I've had, they tried to play all that mac shit  
But every time they tried I said, "That's not it"  
But not this man, he's got the right potion  
Baby, rub it down and make it smooth like lotion  
Yeah, the ritual, highway to heaven  
From seven to seven he's got me open like Seven Eleven  
And yes, it's me that he's always choosin'  
With him I'm never losin', and he knows that my name is not Susan  
He always has heavy conversation for the mind  
Which means a lot to me cuz good men are hard to find,"

Alice, Jasper, Alec and Seth had by now joined us. Alice looked toward her Mom proudly, but then again she was drunk enough to be tone deaf, and was clearly not bothered by anything around her at all. Esme waved toward us, clearly believing in her drunken state she was singing perfectly well.

"Dad... please, I beg you, go and make sure she doesn't sing another." Edward begged, automatically reaching for my drink, and downing some. "Ugh, I need something stronger than this." He pulled a face, placing my drink and heading straight for the bar.

"Welcome to my world." I told him teasingly.

"Fine," Carlisle groaned, probably knowing how difficult it was going to be to pull her away.

"What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man  
What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man  
What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man  
What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man

My man gives real loving that's why I call him Killer  
He's not a wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am, he's a thriller  
He takes his time and does everything right  
Knocks me out with one shot for the rest of the night  
He's a real smooth brother, never in a rush  
And he gives me goose pimples with every single touch  
Spends quality time with his kids when he can  
Secure in his manhood cuz he's a real man  
A lover and a fighter and he'll knock a knucker out  
Don't take him for a sucker cuz that's not what he's about  
Every time I need him, he always got my back  
Never disrespectful cuz his mama taught him that

What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man  
What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man  
What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man  
What a man, what a man, what a man  
What a mighty good man."

And with that, she finally finished. I whistled loudly for her, before nudging Edward in his stomach to clap for his Mom. She may wake up in the morning and feel completely embarrassed but the least he could do would be to clap for her. Rose did the same to Emmett who rolled his eyes but began clapping anyway, joined by everyone else.

"Oh that was so much fun." Esme declared when she returned a few minutes later with Carlisle.

"You sounded great Mrs. Cullen." Alec told her.

I struggled to hide my huge smile at how sincere Alec sounded. Emmett coughed, clearly trying to hide his own laughter. Thankfully Esme took Carlisle to the bar and then hit the dance floor with him. There was truly no stopping her. I was actually rather jealous of her stamina.

"You have fun?" Edward asked, his hand constantly on my lower back, as he moved to sit beside me.

"Yeah, it's been ok, a lot more tiring than it used to be though."

"Hey Baby Bell, how's it going?" Seth came over and kissed my cheek.

We sat around talking for a while, watching with amusement as Esme dragged Carlisle up on the floor to dance. He lasted two songs before he talked her into leaving. She did so with a grand exit, waving to everyone, thanking anyone in the room that was paying her any attention for a great evening. I almost felt sorry for Carlisle having to deal with her when they got home. I said almost.

"Babe, I am so ready for home." Rose told Emmett.

After a few minutes, Emmett and Rose rounded the last two members of our original party up. Alice was by far worse than Esme, barely being able to sit still as Jasper explained it was time to go home. She just nodded and began whispering things to him, that I was almost positively sure I didn't want to know about.

"You ready to go home Baby?" Edward asked, pulling me away from my conversation with Alec and Seth.

I nodded and began bidding goodnight to Seth and Alec, who both looked as though they were both ready to head on home, but unfortunately for them, Alec had to lock up the bar, which didn't close for another hour.  
Alice seemed to be the only one out of our group who wasn't dead on her feet, looking at Rose and she looked more uncomfortable than tired, whereas I just felt bone tired, my brain still quite active.

"I'm starving." Emmett announced.

At the mention of food, my stomach gurgled hungrily. I announced quickly that Pip was too, seeing Emmett's eyes brighten in the knowledge that whilst everyone may have told him no to going somewhere, no-one would decline me and Pip. With a sigh, Edward lead the way to a near by takeaway, selling fried chicken. Just smelling the aroma in the air, my mouth watered at the prospect. I rushed forward to Emmett, jumping on his back and telling him to 'g-up'. With a laugh he took off running the last few hundred yards into the small restaurant.  
I opened my purse to grab some money for food, when all the napkins with phone numbers, that Esme had given me to keep throughout the night dropped out onto the floor. Edward bent to pick them up for me, his jaw tense when he went to pass them back.

"They're your Mom's." I told him, not fully understanding why he seemed so mad suddenly. "Why on Earth, would a guy want to give a pregnant woman his number?"

"You really want me to answer that Baby?" He asked, as he stuffed the napkins in his pocket. "Insurance." he answered, when I raised my eyebrow questioningly over his action, causing us to laugh as Emmett walked into the takeaway with me still on his back.

After a fifteen minute wait, we exited in the same way we entered, bar the bucket of chicken we each carried in our hands. Mine had taken the longest since I had practically demanded only boneless chicken. At first the guy wasn't going to allow it, but after giving him the stern look and telling him he was denying a pregnant woman her craving, he caved.

"Eww Bella, you're dripping grease on my neck." Emmett whined.

"Sowwy." I replied through a mouthful of chicken, not really caring.

I offered my bucket around, though each and every single one of them looked mildly disgusted the moment they peered into the buckets. Rose actually looked as though she was going to be sick the moment Emmett thrust his bucket toward her, offering her some of the greasy goodness. I had pretty much finished my bucket when I decided both me and Pip had, had enough, and whilst I was tempted to take it home and use it for lunch or dinner tomorrow, or rather later as it was now past midnight, I didn't think it would look quite so appetising then.  
It didn't take us long to hail a few cabs, but Edward and I had the misfortune of sharing one with Alice and Jasper. We were however lucky that we were the first drop off, since Alice didn't seem to come up for air the whole way home. I bid Jasper goodnight and good luck with a peck to his cheek and practically barged Edward out of the way so I could exit the cab first, causing both he and Jasper to laugh at my eagerness. Alice screamed her good nights out of the window as the cab drove away, making me feel really sorry for Jasper.  
Neither Edward nor I said anything on our trip up in the elevator, but I watched both of our figures in the mirror. I have to admit I liked how we looked together. Edward did however look much better than I, and in some ways you could see how unsuited we were. He was gorgeous, sexy, practically a God, and I was just plain, simple, neither ugly or drop dead gorgeous, pretty would probably some me up. But seeing us stood like this, going home together, I couldn't help but imagine that we were actually together, rather than just two friends, heading to our temporary shared home.  
I wished that it was a possibility for us to be an 'us', but I wasn't naïve enough to know it wasn't anything more than a simple dream. Neither was I stupid enough to know, the more time I spent with Edward, the more I wanted the unobtainable. From the moment I had met Edward, I had wanted him, not just in a sexual way, but in every way imaginable. He could make my panties wet, just by smiling that crooked smile of his, but as time went on, it was getting worse. I knew I had to start looking for a new place to live, I was dreaming too much, setting myself up for more hurt.

"Well, goodnight." I turned to Edward after he finished locking up behind us.

"Night." He kissed my forehead gently, whilst embracing me.

As had become our 'thing' lately, we held each other there for longer than one would call a friendly embrace, neither of us seeming to want to make a move away from each other. In a rather daring move for myself, I pulled back slightly, looking up into his face. I was almost startled to find him looking straight back at me, our eyes meeting and locking with each other.  
A million things flew through my mind at that moment, but I was most aware of the fact that the hold we had on each was much more of a lovers embrace than that of two friends, even close friends. There was something in his eyes that I couldn't quite recognise, and I felt sure that if he was to lean forward, even a mere inch, our lips would touch. And how I wanted that. Obviously for selfish reasons, even knowing it wasn't something he would want, but for me, it was all I wanted.  
A little voice in my head began whispering that I shouldn't allow it. Kissing him would be like eating a forbidden fruit. One bite would never satiate the hunger, just like one kiss would never satiate the need. It would leave me wanting more, needing more, much more than he would want to give.  
I tried to fight against the little voice, but it kept getting louder and louder, until I did begin to pull away, stuttering incoherently about getting to bed. I could feel the redness in my cheeks growing, feeling sheer embarrassment at allowing myself a moment of weakness. A moment where I had let my dreams get the better of me.

"Bella?" Edward spoke softly, gathering my attention.

I had barely had time to look up at him, before I felt his lips softly brush against my own.

**Ha ha, I think I'll leave it there. Hmm so what will happen next I wonder? Don't forget to check out my profile for the links for the pictures of the girls dresses. Please leave me some feedback as to what you think, and you shall be rewarded with a teaser :p Thank you in advance :D**


	22. Just like heaven

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

_Again, **Big **thankyou's to my reviewers : **Velvetwhispers**, **Linz832**, **Bandeforever16**, **Meyer-Madness** and **Twilightgirl1989** you guys rock!_

Chapter 22

_Spinning on that dizzy edge_  
_I kissed his face and kissed his head_  
_And dreamed of all the different ways I had_  
_To make him glow_  
_Why are you so far away? he said_  
_Why won't you ever know that I'm in love with you_  
_That I'm in love with you_

_You, soft and only_  
_You,lost and lonely_  
_You, strange as angels_  
_Dancing in the deepest oceans_  
_Twisting in the water_  
_You're just like a dream_  
_You're just like a dream_

_Just like Heaven - Katie Melua_

Her lips were so soft, like rose petals gliding against your skin. Like the feel of sleeping on satin sheets. So easy it was to lose myself within them. The want and need for her aching painfully in my chest. It was a glorious pain though, the best there ever could be. For months I had felt it, gradually getting stronger and stronger, never once waning. It was like a craving, and once you got what you wanted, the feeling of relief was so powerful. Her lips were my drug right now.

I could feel her heart beating under my hand which rested lightly on her neck. It was throbbing away, almost like the beat of a favourite song. The only song I ever wanted to hear. With each beat I delved further and further into the kiss. Leaning closer and closer into her, until my body was practically melting into hers.

Just this one simple little kiss was like swimming in heaven. It was like an out of body experience. Over the last few months I had dreamt of this moment, pleaded with a higher power to give me this moment, and here it finally was. It was like every damn wish I had made all come to fruition all at once. I had always doubted how many men could say they would die happily if they could experience one thing, always thinking that was a little dramatic, but now, now I completely understood and agreed.

At the same time as feeling the most complete I had ever felt, I knew there had to be more to come. Now I had started, I really doubted I could stop. I was completely addicted now, if I hadn't been already. The first night we had met, she had twisted me around her little finger, and never really fully relinquished me, and over the past few months, she had only succeeded in winding me tighter, whilst I fought against it. But now, I was giving her everything I had, never wanting it back.

I felt her fingers drag against my scalp, gripping my hair tightly between her delicate fingers. It was the most pleasurable pain I had felt in such a long time. Feeling her encouraging me, I nibbled and licked on her bottom lip, begging for entrance. With a whimper she immediately granted me access, her tongue meshing with mine in a battle, both of us trying to dominate the other, neither giving full control.

She tasted so sweet, a mixture of ginger ale, cherries, and something that was completely Bella and Bella alone. It was what I imagined paradise would taste like, and I wanted nothing more than to drink it up like a man who had returned from the desert. I knew now without a doubt that nothing could ever taste quite so amazingly sweet as she. She was the sweetest nectar known to man, and I was just one of the few (hopefully) that was granted a taste.

My animalistic side broke though, as I walked us both into the nearest wall, Bella's back hitting it with a resounding thud, that I knew wasn't hard enough to hurt. It gave me further opportunity to press myself against her, feel every curve of her body, her every movement. As we had hit the wall, it was like an alarm to the both of us, breaking us apart minutely to enable us to breath.

I couldn't keep my lips from her skin though, trailing my lips hungrily over the skin of her neck and shoulder. It was like my brain knew my lips had to be fused to her in some way, almost as much as I needed oxygen. My hands had dropped to her hips, holding her steadily against me. She whimpered as I sucked and nibbled at her skin, feeling the heat emanating from every inch of her.

Feeling like we had both had ample opportunity to catch out breaths, I fused my mouth back against hers, the feeling of coming home springing to mind. She eagerly kissed me back, fighting for dominance which I let her have. Her hands still pulling at my hair, though breaking away every so often to run up and down my back, constantly pulling me further into her. I was sure she could feel the now large bulge in my pants, straining away, against her stomach.

In a rather bold move, and one I wasn't expecting at all, her leg hitched up, her thigh resting on my hip bone. Jesus I could feel her arousal, burning away against my thigh. She was truly going to be the death of me.

"Fuck Bella." I groaned, unable to prevent myself from shamelessly grinding on her.

"God Edward... I need you." Bella voice low and breathless, so full of seduction.

Even if I had wanted to, at this point I don't think there would have been anyway for me to have denied her. Going along the lines that my Brother and Sister in law had hammered into each of us since day one, 'what Bella wants, Bella gets'. Of course I doubt this was what they had in mind, but who was I to disobey.

"Christ Baby." I hissed as she ground against me, her hot core hitting me in all the right places.

I gripped her hips more firmly and lifted her from the floor, her legs automatically wrapping around my waist, her heat pressing on my stomach, making me harder still. I was hard enough I was expecting my cock to bust through my fly any second. Her heels dug into my ass, as I felt her nails scratching up my back. Had it not been for the shirt I was wearing, I was sure I would have been marked by her, but did I care. No! She could mark me all she wanted, I was hers, she owned me in every way imaginable.

"Edward please." She whimpered as I sucked on her collarbone.

"Are you sure?" I asked breathlessly, pulling away, needing to be able to see into her eyes as to whether she truly wanted this or whether she was simply caught up in the moment.

Her response of moulding her lips to mine was all the response I needed, as I pushed us away from the wall and began blindly making my way to my room. It had to my room, somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew the image of her laying out on my bed, on my sheets, would be burned into my memory for life.

I laid her down on my purple sheets, sheets I had bought simply because I knew purple was Bella's favourite colour. She looked positively exquisite against the deep plum coloured, satin sheets. Her dress, although a slightly lighter shade, made it seem as though she was wearing nothing but the bed sheet covering her. Her ivory skin contrasted perfectly. Was there anything about this girl that wasn't perfect?

I crawled over her, making sure to keep my weight from crushing down on her. Our lips crashed together as I felt her beginning to open the buttons of my shirt slowly, her hands making short work of each. There was nothing rushed about her movements, which served to turn me on even more, if that was possible.

I started tugging her dress off of the one shoulder it was resting on, gently teasing it further and further down her arm until she lost patience and pulled her arm through the hole, immediately returning to undo the few remaining buttons of my shirt. When she was finally done, she began pushing it from my shoulders, leaving a trail of heat where her hands practically seared my skin from their contact.

I let my shirt glide from my shoulders and down my arms with a small amount of encouragement from Bella, before feeling her fingers ghost down my chest, over my stomach, tracing the outlines of muscles, before running her fingers through the fine hair that grew just over the waistband of my pants. It was hard to concentrate on much when she kept teasing me like that, she was so close, yet so far from where I wanted her to be touching me.

I took a deep breath, trying to focus my thought more. Now she had her arm from the strap of her dress, I wanted it off of her, I wanted to see her... all of her. I pushed my hands underneath her torso, feeling the material of her dress, looking, searching for her zip to help me tease the dress form her body. There was nothing though. In my lust clouded mind, I was stumped, the dress was far too tight for her to have just slipped it on, without having some form of opening in the material. Had I been of sound mind, I could probably have figured it out myself. I felt Bella reach for my hand and guide it to her right underarm, where my treasure lay.

I deepened our kiss further, trying to portray my thanks for her guidance, as I lowered the zip inch by glorious inch. When it finally reached the bottom, I pulled my lips away from Bella's, hearing and feeling her take in. her breathing was heavy, as though she had just completed a tough workout, but we both knew there was much, much more to come.

Giving her the opportunity to catch her breath a little, I kissed my way down her chin, neck and chest until I couldn't go any lower due to the material of her dress. I felt her breathing stutter as I slowly, oh so achingly slowly pulled her dress further down her torso, revealing a strapless purple lace bra, and much to my pleasure finding it a front clasped one at that, making it ten times easier to gain access. I couldn't help but smirk to myself, knowing that this was my form of treasure.

"So beautiful." I whispered against her skin, as I leant down to kiss below her ear.

I practically came in my pants when she purred in response. I wasn't sure whether it was my words or my touch that had elicited such a reaction, but damn it went straight to my dick, which was now painfully trying to tear it's way out of my pants. Knowing I had to find out the reason, I nibbled on her earlobe, sucking on it gently, before licking just below and blowing gently. I was rewarded this time with a hiss of pleasure.

"Who else knows about this spot?" I whispered.

"No... no-one." She stuttered as I ran the tip of my nose along her jaw.

"Mine." I mumbled as I placed a kiss right in the spot I would forever know as belonging to me.

"Yours." She agreed breathlessly.

I wanted to ask her what other spots turned her on so, only so I knew as to avoid them. I did not want to use another man's treasure, I wanted to find my own. I didn't, I kept quiet, not wanting to discuss her ex's at this point. I remembered her telling me there had only ever been two, and whilst I didn't know how many times she had been with either, I hoped that neither had found such sweet spots. I placated myself in the knowledge that her first partner had been just that, her first, they were probably both inexperienced, and her second had been that dick James, who I couldn't ever imagine him seeing Bella as more than a quick fuck, which if I'm honest, made me both pissed and relieved.

Bella was worth more than a quick fuck, she deserved to be cherished, loved and spoilt, and whilst I had every intention of being the one to give her all of those things, I was hoping I would be the first to give her that. I wanted to be the one to love her, I wanted to be the only one.

I made my way back down her chest, leaving a trail of wet kisses in my quake. With agile fingers, I flicked open the clasp of her bra, which immediately uncovered the most perfect tits I have ever seen. Her pink nipples, were the perfect circular size, already hard like pebbles, practically pleading for some attention. Her breasts weren't huge, neither were they small, they were just about fucking perfection.

I couldn't hold back any longer, I dove in, sucking her left nipple between my teeth, rolling my tongue around it, over it, flicking it, tugging it, sucking it, all the while Bella arching her back pushing more of her tit towards my face. I was definitely going to die a happy man. Whilst I focused my mouth on her left breast, my hand was constantly teasing her other, rolling it nimbly between my fingers, stroking it and tugging.

"Fucking perfect." I told her, before giving her left nipple one last lick before I blew on it.

"Oh God." Bella whimpered as goose bumps grew all over her skin.

She arched her back up off of the bed towards me, breathing erratically due to the attention I was giving her. I kissed my way over to her right nipple, giving it the same amount of attention as I had her left. Bella was running her fingers deftly through my hair, making mewling sounds that matched my actions. Her eyes were closed, her mouth open, gasping for breaths. She had never looked more sexy.

Whist I was pouring my affections over her tits, I was slowly dragging her dress further down her body. I doubted very much that she even noticed, she was so close to her edge, I don't think she would have even noticed if the Earth moved, since hopefully it already was for her.

Once her dress was over her hips, and down over her knees, I let it be, knowing once she realized, she would kick it off the rest of the way herself. I had much more important things to concentrate on. For instance her matching purple lace panties. If ever there was a pair of panties that could incinerate a man's will power, these were them.

The small triangular piece of material covered the promise land, dipping so low that I was sure I would barely have to move it before I would be able to see her silky lips. The thin straps hitched just above her hip bone, looking so tear-able. I was close to just doing it, but I refrained, knowing they were part of a set, a set might I add that I very much wanted to see her in again.

Hooking my thumb under the material I began pulling them further down from her hips, kissing my way down her stomach, ready for the unveiling. I licked my lips in anticipation, taking a moment to look Bella in the eye, trying to convey to her that all she had to do was say so and we could stop. Her eyes were hooded as she bit her bottom lip. Part of me wanted to reach up and pull her lip away from her teeth, but the biggest part wanted me to leave her be and continue concentrating on my current actions.

Encouraging me further, Bella lifted her hips slightly, enabling the removal of her panties to be much easier. The anticipation was killing me, but I fought against the urge to rush this, I didn't ever want this feeling to be over. Too soon, and yet not quick enough, Bella's soaked panties had been flung across the room, revealing the most perfect sight I have ever seen.

She was completely bare, not a single hair in sight, and she was glistening. I knelt back onto my heels and couldn't contain my awe as I gazed at the perfection that was laid before me. She was completely soaked, and it was all for me.

Bella was watching me somewhat nervously, and as though I could read her mind, I knew she had to be wondering why I was looking at her the way I was. She never saw herself clearly, and now was just one of those times where she underestimated how completely and utterly amazing she truly was.

Needing a moment to gather myself, and also to soothe Bella's nerves, I leant forward and kissed Bella soundly on her lips, trying my hardest to portray my every feeling for her in that one short moment. She responded immediately, her lips gliding against my own, in what quickly became a frantic fight of dominance.

When we both needed a breath, I pulled away, though not for a second too long, as my lips travelled their way down her chin, neck and chest. I paused momentarily to give each of her rock hard nipples a little suck, before continuing their licking and kissing journey down the valley between her breasts, and across her toned stomach.

Everything in me wanted to dive straight in and taste her, but I wanted to bring her to the brink without having barely touched her sensitive parts. I could smell her arousal which only made things harder for me, both figuratively and literally. Instead I lifted her left leg in the air and began nibbling my way up from her ankle. I sucked and nipped behind her knee, before continuing up her inner thigh. I repeated exactly the same actions on her right leg as I had her left, the whole time watching Bella's every reaction to my touch. A thin sheen of sweat graced her face and chest, and this was only the beginning.

Having finally felt I had worshipped most places of her body, I teasingly leant forward, running the tip of my nose up her inner thigh, toward her hip, before finally... fucking finally, using the tip of my tongue to flick her clit.

"Fuck." Bella moaned, her hands grasping fists full of the bed sheet.

I repeated my action, a smirk playing on my lips over her reaction. Her body writhed beneath me, her hips rising from the bed, searching out further contact. I didn't grant her, her wish though, I held back, until her hips fell back to the bed. Over the next minute, I teased her clit, flicking it with my tongue, loving how she reacted each time.

"Edward." She whimpered.

She was close to not being able to take much more of my teasing. I almost felt sorry for her, but I knew she wasn't going to have to wait long before she would be highly compensated. A compensation we would both bask in.

The need to taste her fully, finally overruled the need to continue my teasing. Using the flat of my tongue, I gave her one big lick from her entrance to her clit. She shuddered in response, moaning in pleasure. That one taste was all it took, and I dove in, needing to drink her every juice right up. I alternated between lapping up her juices that were constantly spilling from her entrance to sucking furiously on her clit.

"You taste divine." I hummed against her, barely managing to pull myself away long enough to breath let alone talk.

Having been stroking her thighs the whole time I was drowning myself in perfection, I walked two fingers further up her leg before teasing her lips. I knew in my mind I wanted to drag this out as long as possible, but the need to feel her walls flutter around me had grown too much. Without giving her any warning, I slid my middle finger into her slick folds.

"Fuck your so tight." I groaned, my dick pulsing in my pants.

I pumped my finger a few few times, feeling her walls flutter as she climbed higher and higher up that metaphorical cliff. After a minute or so, I pulled it completely out, finding it completely covered in her juices. I couldn't help myself, I sucked my finger into my mouth, not wanting to waste a single drop of her sweet nectar. When I went to return my finger, I decided to up the anti a little, and inserted my middle two fingers in, finding I had to take a deep breath to try and control myself from how utterly tight she was around me. I knew when the time came, the feeling of her around me was going to be euphoric.

Pumping my fingers in and out of her, caused her whimpers to amplify. It seemed she had no problem in being vocal as to what she was enjoying. My tongue continued it's mission on her clit, only now I had begun pulling away every few seconds and blowing a cold breath of air onto her. The first time I had tried it, her hips bucked wildly. I was so proud of myself for gaining such reactions from her.

"Shit... fuck, Edward, I'm gonna... gonna cum." She was breathless as she panted out her words.

I knew she was close, her walls were really beginning to tighten around my fingers. I was ready though, I was ready to lap every single drop of her juices up. I was like a kid on Christmas eve, waiting for Santa to come and deliver the presents. I doubted any gift I had received in my life was as good as the one that was due any second.

Pushing my fingers all the way inside her before I stilled my movements. She was close, but I was hoping my next move would send her over that edge. I curled my longest finger inwards, immediately hitting the right spot. Her hips jumped up from the bed, as she let out the most glorious of screams. My name falling loudly from her lips.

Her walls were well and truly clamped around me, and it was the most wonderful feeling ever. I had thought she was tight before, now I was sure if she remained this way, the circulation to my fingers would be cut off. Of course this was an exaggeration, but there really was no other way to describe it.

Eventually I pulled my fingers out, and licked them clean, before returning to her pussy and gathering the remaining juices on my tongue. When I was happy that I had gotten everything, I slowly crawled up her panting body, leaving a trail of wet kisses on her overheated skin. Her eyes were closed as she tried to recover. She looked amazingly sexy trying to pull herself together.

"How you doing down there?" I teasingly asked.

She opened her eyes and looked directly at me, her mouth opening as she tried to talk, but it seemed even she was at a loss of what to say. I had basically finger fucked the words right out of her.

"That good, huh?" I continued to tease, a proud smirk growing on my face.

She managed to nod her response, and I leant down and kissed her lips gently. I knew she would be able to taste herself slightly from me, and I couldn't be happier about that. She needed to know how perfect she tasted. How much I wished I could lay with her and lap up her nectar forever.

The kiss grew in passion, her tongue licking my lips, asking for entrance which I granted her without a second thought. I knew for definite now that she was willingly tasting herself. It didn't go unnoticed that whilst the kiss was growing in heat, her hands were making short work of my belt, button and fly. Before I could even offer my assistance, she was pushing my pants down my legs as far as she could reach, then using her feet to push them the rest of the way off.

I was in nothing but my boxers now, my hard on impossible to miss. Not that it had been easy to before, but now, there was a huge tent there, just waiting to be freed. Bella began stroking the trail of hair between my hips that was just above the elastic of my boxers. Her other hand had gripped my hair, holding my face in position as we continued to kiss.

"Jesus... Fuck." I hissed, pulling my lips away from hers, as she suddenly delved into my boxers and began stroking me.

God how I wanted her to continue, I would have given practically anything for her to have continued, but I couldn't let her. I didn't want this to be about me, I wanted it to be about her, I wanted to worship her like she deserved. That and I knew I wasn't going to last long, and if we continued like this, I was going to come undone before I had even had the chance to get inside her.

"Bella... Bella... Baby, stop." I reached down to still her hand.

She looked at me questioningly as I pulled her hand out of my boxers. She was confused, but most of all I could see the hurt in her eyes. She thought I was turning her away, that I didn't want her. She couldn't be further from the truth.

That nervous habit of hers flared up immediately and she began chewing on her lower lip, her eyes looking anywhere but at me. Using my free hand I held her chin and guided her face back to me, wanting to see into those beautiful chocolate orbs of hers.

"I'm... I'm not gonna last long as it is Baby." I admitted, a little shyly if I'm honest. "If you keep touching me, I'm gonna cum like a teenage virgin." I warned her.

I watched her nod in response, fighting a smile of her own. She clearly knew how much she was affecting me at that point. How much her every touch was sending me to the brink. I probably shouldn't have allowed her to know the amount of power she had over me, but damned if I cared right now. She owned me, and I wasn't ashamed to admit to it.

She grabbed a fistful of my hair and yanked me down, crashing her lips to mine. For the first time I felt her hot centre against my dick, the only barrier between us being the thin cotton material of my boxers. She ground her hips against mine, and oh my God, if it didn't feel like I had died and gone to heaven. I was so ready for her, to be buried deep within her tight pussy.

Without me saying a word, I felt her pushing my boxers down my hips, finally freeing dick from it's confines. It sprung free as she watched, her eyes wide, biting her damned lip again. If only she knew what it did to me. She seemed mesmerized by my dick, her eyes never leaving it. I gotta say it strokes a man's ego rather a lot when you get this reaction, but I was worried, simply because it seemed as though she was.

I would never say I was gigantic, but I was well endowed. I had never had any complaints from any of my previous partners, and I certainly knew how to please a woman, but the last thing I wanted to do was push Bella when she seemed as worried as she was about this.

Maybe a minute passed by before she seemed to snap herself out of it, her eyes returning to look into my own. I leant forward and kissed her chastely, wanting her to know before hand that I hadn't changed my mind, that I was willing to go along with her.

"We don't have to do this, we can stop." I told her softly.

It killed me to say it, I could practically hear my dick cussing me out over my words, but I cared for her too much to keep going unless I was one hundred percent sure it was what she wanted. I had never, and would never force myself on a woman. I could be persuasive when I wanted to be, but in the end, I would always, always take no for an answer. But with Bella it was different. I didn't even want to make her say the words. I wanted her to know I could tell how far was far enough.

"No, I want you." She replied.

I couldn't hear a hint of a doubt in her voice, nor see one in her eyes. Yet I still couldn't believe she was wanting me just as much as I wanted her. I doubted it was even possible for her to equal my feelings. I even doubted anyone ever could.

"I need you." She whispered huskily. It was all I needed to hear.

Without further words, I lined his dick up with her centre, sweeping it up to her clit in one long movement, spreading her juices over my head. Not that I needed to, I was more than ready for her, and she for me. I then pushed my head just inside her, wanting to give her as much time as I could manage to adjust to my size. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt her in anyway.

Inch by inch I pushed his way into her tight pussy. Her breathing picked up with every movement, gasping at the pain and pleasure I knew I was bringing her. I kissed her chastely over and over, wanting more than anything to portray my apologies for hurting her. I knew, just as well as she did, that neither of us could stop the pain, it was just an unfortunate part of becoming a part of each other. If I could have done anything at all to ease it, I would.

Once I was all the way inside her, I stilled, resting all my weight on my forearms, basking in the amazing warmth I felt. Being inside her was the most earth shattering experience I had ever had. I knew without a doubt that this was it for me. There would never be another, she was all I would ever want or need. I was torn. It was killing me not moving in her, but at the same time, I just wanted to remain with her like this forever.

Her pussy walls gripped me like a vice. She was so hot, tight and wet. Hands down the most perfect pussy ever. Not that I ever doubted it wouldn't be. Everything about Bella was perfect, so this was no exception.

"I'm good, you can move." She told me, her voice slightly breathless.

I kissed her once, before beginning to slowly pull out, getting practically all the way before pushing back in. It was killing me to go so slow, but I wasn't about to just fuck her. I wanted this to last as long as possible, I wanted this to be good for her. I wanted to take the time to worship her. Fucking could come later, but right now, we were going to make love.

After a few slow strokes, I did pick up the pace some, setting an even movement that we both seemed to enjoy. I gazed down into Bella's eyes, immediately feeling that connection between the two of us. Her returning gaze sent prickles all over my skin, her fingers that were running steadily up and down my back were leaving a trail of fire.

Her body was practically singing in response to my every thrust. Our hips seemed to work in synchronicity. In short it was as though we were made for each other. Bella continued her own moans of pleasure, her walls fluttering around my dick, sending me practically out of my mind. I was close, but I would be damned if I got there before her.

I was too close for comfort, I wanted, no needed for her to fall first. I reached between us, and began teasing her clit, pinching and rolling it between my fingers. I had barely touched her when her hips jerked in response toward my own, her breath catching in her throat. Yeah, she was pretty damn close. Her walls began clenching me a little more than before.

"Shit, Edward... so close." She panted out.

I moved my fingers more furiously against her clit, knowing it wouldn't take much more to push her over the edge. And man was I looking forward to it. I began moving faster, my hips crashing furiously with her own, seeking both of our orgasms desperately. That oh so familiar tightening in my stomach, building pressure, just waiting to erupt.

"Edward!" Bella screamed as she finally reached that peak.

Her fingers dug into my shoulders, as though I was her only lifeline in stormy waters. Her eyes were clenched shut as her orgasm took her, her breathing laboured, her chest glistening with a sheen of sweat. She looked perfect.

Two thrusts later, and I joined her in orgasm, yelling out her name as I fell into that black hole. My hips moving me in and out of her, as her walls milked me of my cum. With a shudder I gave my last spurt and collapsed on top of her, only just managing to keep most of my weight off of her.

I felt her kissing my chin gently, her hands now stroking my sweat covered hair back away from my face. It was such an affectionate, loving action, one that you only really expect from lovers. And if I'm honest, Bella was all of that and more to me.

After I caught my breath, I kissed her soft lips once, before pulling out with a groan, hating the feeling of loss that I felt, before rolling onto my back, pulling Bella with me, so she was snuggled into my side. We were both sticky with sweat, but I'd be damned if I was going to shower just now. I knew her scent would be all over me, and I simply didn't want to wash that off just yet.

"I need to shower." Bella announced a second later, climbing out of my arms and heading to the bathroom. "Looks like someone else needs to as well." She told me, as she leant on the door jam.

I followed her gaze to my nether regions that suddenly felt very sticky. Looking down I found myself covered by my boxers, that also happened to be filled with my cum.

Huh!

I shot up into a sitting position, my eyes travelling immediately to my boxer clad lower half, before flying over to the bathroom doorway that was now empty. My senses were on overdrive, I had just had probably the best sex of my life, and yet, all the evidence surrounding me told me I was wrong. Bella was no-where in sight, I had boxers on, that also happened to filled with a sticky substance, no two guessing what that was.

"Holy fuck." I groaned flopping back heavily onto the mattress.

I'd had a wet dream!

Jesus, I hadn't had a wet dream since I was a teenager, and Emmett had given me my first playboy magazine. I wasn't embarrassed per say, I mean that was some amazing dream sex there, but Jesus, it was so adolescent to actually have a wet dream.

I probably should have expected it if I'm being honest. My dreams had been getting gradually worse over the course of the week since Bella and I kissed. Of course things hadn't exactly ended like in my dream. I could only wish for that. No instead, we had eventually pulled apart, before Bella had dashed to her room, apologizing profusely. Of course I had wanted to follow her, and make everything right, but I was completely dumbfounded at that point. The kiss had been amazing, and for her to apologize for it, well it made me both angry and sad.

I had managed to stumble to my room where I had sat on the bed for a while, an hour or maybe more, the kiss running through my mind over and over again. I tried to analyse every second of that perfect moment between us. I had certainly wanted it, and from what I could gather, so had Bella. She had responded to it, she hadn't pulled away in disgust, and but had fled the scene afterwards.

I knew my feelings for her, but what confused me the most now, was the notion that maybe, just maybe, Bella had feelings for me too. The kiss had been too powerful, filled with too much meaning for it to have just been a spur of the moment thing. I wanted to go and talk to her about it, I wanted too so badly, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I daren't hope for more than the friendship we already had. I had spent so long convincing myself that Bella and I were simply destined to be friends and nothing more, I knew that if I tried to gain more, and she turned me down, I would be completely heartbroken.

At the same time, I knew we couldn't just go back to pretending it didn't happen, because it did, and nor did I want to. The kiss would be forever ingrained in my memory, and I if I'm being completely honest, I didn't want it to be ruined by pretending it didn't happen, or just ignoring the fact that it didn't. We would have to talk about it, but first I had to get my shit together.

That had been nearly a week ago. When I had gotten up the following morning, Bella had already up and left for work. A clear avoidance tactic. She had already made a pot of coffee and left me some bacon and eggs warming in the oven, along with a warning she may be late home as she had plans with Angela. I doubted she really did have plans with Angela, but if space and time was what she needed, then by all means, space and time were what I was going to give her.

Later that night, I had been catching up on some work on my laptop when Bella had returned home. Upon seeing me sat in the living room, she had greeted me with a somewhat forced smile, before asking if I had eaten. When I had told her I had, she had then quickly excused herself to her room, declaring she was tired.

I began to worry about exactly why it was she was clearly avoiding me. Was it because she was simply embarrassed and didn't know how to deal with me? Was it because she too was scared to admit her true feelings? Or was it because she didn't know how to tell me that she really didn't have any feelings for me at all, and it had all been one big mistake?

I realize I sound very insecure, but after having put myself out there with Tanya, only for her to have broken my heart by cheating on me, I was so very scared of doing it again, especially considering Bella already meant far more to me than Tanya ever had.

So the next day, I was up before Bella, and made my escape from the apartment, heading into work far earlier than was normal for myself. When both Mrs. Cope and my Dad questioned it, I excused my behaviour by explaining that I had work that I wanted done before I took the long weekend off for Alice's wedding, it was somewhat true, but I also knew that whatever work I had to do, wasn't urgent or even really required much of my time. I was simply grasping at any excuse to give Bella that space she seemed to need, hoping that it was due to her coming to terms of our predicament.

After work, I headed to the gym Emmett owned, spending more than a few hours lifting weights and running on the treadmills. It was nearly nine pm when Emmett wandered over to me, concerned that I had now been there for a good four hours without reprieve. I wanted to tell him what my problem was, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. He had been trying to convince me all along to give it a go with Bella, and I knew if I mentioned this kiss to him, he would jump ahead, and get carried away. It was hard enough keeping myself reined in, that I didn't need the extra encouragement right now.

When I had arrived home, Bella was already there, fast asleep laid stretched out on the sofa. Her dainty little hand was holding a book to her chest. The soft glow of the lamp on the side table behind her, made her look ethereal. I crept over to her and covered her with the throw from the back of the sofa, before flipping the lamp off and heading to my room, hoping she would wake up shortly and make her own way to bed. There was an ache in my chest just from looking at her, an ache that I often got when I was around her. I loved her, pure and simple. And the scary thing was, she had all the power in the world to break me, and all it would take was a few words.

It was then, that I decided I had to do something to prevent that from happening. I just didn't know what. All I did know was that I couldn't have my heart broken again, because this time, with how strong my feelings were for her, I doubted I would ever resurface from the pain. In short, I had only a few options really. I had to either really distance myself from her, and hope that with time and space I could get over her, or I do nothing and just hope and pray that everything would just work itself out. But honestly, neither of those options were good enough for me.

Before we knew it, it was Friday, the night of Alice and Jaspers rehearsal dinner, and of course we were travelling together with Rose and Em to the hotel on the other side of Seattle where the wedding was being held. I could only hope that we didn't fill the car with our awkwardness and tension because that would definitely be something Rose and Em would pick up on.

It became obvious throughout the course of the week from hell, that I could no longer carry on with Bella, the way I was. Whilst it would hurt if I was wrong, and Bella didn't want me, it was nothing compared to the hurt of our everyday behaviour. Acting like we were a couple, but being anything but. I had come to the conclusion, that like it or not, Bella and I were going to have to talk, once this wedding was over, and one way or another, we were going to both come clean.

**Phew, this chapter was a pain to write, but I'm still kind of a little proud of it, since I hate writing lemons, because I just don't feel like I do them justice. I know what I want to happen, but knowing and writing it are two different things. But it was a 6000 word lemon, granted it wasn't a true lemon since it turned out to be a dream, but a lemon is a lemon, and I do promise to add more further along the lines, whether they include Bella and Edward together or not, well we shall have to wait and see lol. Anyway please leave me some feedback, especially for this chapter since I found it the hardest to write, and in return, I'll send you a teaser. PRETTY PLEASE :D**


	23. Tell him

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

_Ok, so again **MASSIVE **thank you's to my reviewers – **Isle Esme**, **Linz832**, **Meyer-Madness** and **Bandeforever16** you guys are far more than awesome, words cannot describe you. Thank you for your reviews and constant support, it really does mean the world **:D :D :D :D**_

**A/N : Pictures of the outfits are up, check out my profile for the link :D**

Chapter 23

_Tell him, tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes  
Reach out to him  
And whisper, whisper words so soft and sweet  
Hold him close to feel his heart beat  
Love will be the gift you give yourself  
Ooh, never let him go_

_Celine Dion & Barbara Streisand - Tell him_

I had, had the week from hell. Not seeing Edward for more than a few minutes a day, was pure torture. He had quickly in the short time I had known him, and lived with him, become my constant. I missed him, more than I ever thought was possible. And I hated myself for putting us in the mess that we were in.

The kiss had been without a doubt, the best kiss I had ever had in my whole life. It was everything I could possible have dreamt of asking for, and more. But at the same time, it scared me to death. I had already fallen so hard for him, and now it was plain for him to see. I was scared of his rejection, scared that he would apologize and tell me it was all one big mistake. I didn't want to hear those things from him, so I did the only thing I could think of. I apologized and ran. I guess it was my defence mechanism kicking in, be the one to walk away and you won't get hurt. Except I did hurt.

I don't think I slept a wink that night, constantly running the nights events over and over in my head, convincing myself that I had lead him on, trying to pick a specific point where it had all begun to go wrong. There wasn't one though, and if there was, I couldn't find it. I knew he had been the one to initiate the kiss, but I was convinced that he had done so because of something I had said or done to cause that reaction from him.

After spending the night doing nothing but thinking, trying to work out what I was going to do, I got ready for work earlier than I normally would, thankfully forgoing the ritual morning throwing up well only until I got to work where I spent the first half an hour in the toilets, and dashed from the apartment after making us both some breakfast, leaving his warming in the oven. I was scared, more scared than I think I have ever been in my whole life. I was no stranger to heartbreak, but I knew Edward had the tool to do a good job of it, and he probably wouldn't even realize.

In my mind, there was nothing I could do but avoid him for a few days, and just hope that it all blew over. And I guess if it didn't, then I would have to find somewhere new to live, maybe even crash at Angela's for a few days until I did find somewhere. It would probably be a good idea regardless to find somewhere else anyway, it was getting increasingly more difficult to be around him, and not be with him.

When I had asked Angela if we could maybe go out for a few drinks after work or something, she knew immediately that there was something wrong. I never usually asked her to do anything at such short notice, or maybe it was the pleading in my tone that set off the suspicion. In the end, I ended up spilling everything to her over our lunch in the break room.

"Wow." Was her response after I had spilled everything.

"Yeah, I know." I grimaced.

"No I mean like seriously, Wow."

"I'm aware of how bad this is Angela." I huffed in slight annoyance.

"No, Bella. What I mean is, is I can't honestly believe that you are both so blind to this."

"What do you mean?" I asked her, thoroughly confused.

"Ok, I've known for a while that you felt something for him, but I when he came to pick you up from work a few weeks ago, I thought I saw a flash of something in him, but damn, it was more than just a flash. He's head over heels for you."

"No he isn't." I argued, thinking it was just my friend trying to make me feel better about the situation.

"Yes, yes he is." She argued back. "It explains it all. The way he looks at you, the kiss, the looking out for you, asking you to live with him, damn even the way he was practically glued to your side the moment he arrived at the bar on Saturday night."

"I'm his Brother's surrogate, of course he is willing to look out for me. And as for asking me to live with him, he's just... just a nice guy who could see my hesitation about going and staying with my Dad."

"Denial isn't just a river in Egypt sweetie."

And that was all she had said on the subject. She had refused to let me argue my case further, telling me she knew what she saw. At that point there was no point in arguing with her, Angela could be as stubborn as a mule when she wanted to be, and she hated when people told her she was wrong.

The next day Edward was gone before I got up, which only made me miss him more. I hated that I felt like I had to avoid him. I hated how horrible things had become between the two of us. I had to fix this somehow, I just didn't know how. But with Alice's wedding coming up, there was no way I was willing to possibly ruin her day because both Edward and I felt like we couldn't be around each other. Hell I was meant to be sitting next to him for both the rehearsal and reception meals.

I spent the entire day trying to figure out how to get the two of us out of this mess, and still came up blank, all I knew was, was I had to be there when he got home, maybe we could make dinner together, and try and discuss things like adults, rather than running scared from each other. Or rather me running scared from him.

So arrived home a little earlier than usual, and began making lasagne for the two of us. Edward had told me how good it was, and it was one of his favourite dishes that I could make. I spent the evening on tenterhooks watching the clock, counting down to the time he would be home. Six oh clock came and went and there was still no Edward. The lasagne now complete. Seven oh clock arrived, and still no Edward. The lasagne now just warm, sat on the counter. By half past seven, I was starving and ate alone. By eight oh clock the remaining lasagne was in the freezer for another day, and I had retired with a book to the couch. I woke at eleven thirty, the lamp having been turned off, and the blanket covering me. My book lay open on the coffee table. Edward had obviously arrived home.

If I'm truly honest, I was somewhat hurt that he hadn't thought to wake me up, or even leave me a note to say he had arrived home. It felt like he had walked in, seen me sleeping and snook past me, avoiding me in the worst possible way. I was aware I had pretty much done the same to him, but I liked to think that if the roles were reversed, I would have woken him, if for nothing more than to say good night. His whole behaviour just made me realize that whilst I had gone out of my way to avoid him yesterday, he was doing the absolute same.

The days soon flitted past, and whilst it seemed that neither of us were going out of the way to avoid the other, we had become more like ghosts passing in the night, never staying in the same room for more than a few minutes at a time. I hated what we had become, I missed him. I usually hated it when he came into the bathroom in the morning when I was being sick, but now I missed him. I missed his hands rubbing soothing circles on my back, holding my hair away from my face, asking me if I was ok. I missed the kiss he placed each morning on my forehead when we went our separate ways to work. I missed his random texts during the day. It was all such a mess.

On Friday, I left work at lunchtime so I could get back to Edward's in time for Rose and Emmett to pick Edward and I up. I didn't really want to go if I was being truthful. I didn't see the point in booking an extra hotel room when I had a perfectly good bed here. I also didn't know why Alice was demanding that we arrive as early as we did, the rehearsal dinner wasn't until later that evening.

"Hey Rose just called, she and Em will be here in about twenty minutes." Edward told me as I walked in the door.

I nodded, not really feeling as though I had the energy to deal with anything. Thankfully I had packed my bag last night, leaving only the daily essentials left to pack. I wasn't in the mood to sit in close proximity and pretend everything was ok, when it wasn't. I wasn't in the mood to smile and be happy. I wasn't in the mood to socialize. I didn't even know why I had to go to the damn rehearsal dinner, it wasn't like I was needed, I wasn't even in the damn wedding. I recognised the fact I was in a bad mood, and didn't really know why, but I was, and I just couldn't seem to pull myself out of it.

"You're all packed right?" Edward asked.

"Mostly." I replied as I rifled through the refrigerator for the makings of a sandwich.

"You know Alice will kill us if we're late right."

I knew he probably didn't mean anything by it, but for some unknown reason it riled me up. I could feel the anger rising in me, I was close to snapping, and he hadn't even really done anything to deserve it.

"Yes Edward, I am aware that your sister is like little Hitler when it comes to this wedding." I snapped.

I didn't mean to be a bitch toward Alice. Anyone would probably be the same about one of the biggest days of their lives, she had every reason to want everything to run perfectly, but right now, I didn't care. Alice's plans meshed with my own, and I wasn't in the mood to have to deal with her when we got to the hotel, telling me what she wanted me to wear, how she wanted me to style my hair, how my make up should be. I'd had enough of being the centre of attention, being told what to do and when to do it. I wasn't a damn Barbie doll.

"I don't even know why I need to go." I added, seeing Edward begin to answer, but I cut him off. "I mean I'm not in the wedding party, I would be perfectly fine with arriving tomorrow like all the other guests. I don't need a hotel room, when there's a perfectly comfortable bed at the end of the hall. I could just get my Dad and Sue to pick me up on their way past." I rambled.

"Uh, well there'd be an issue with your Dad picking you up on his way past. You see, uh, he and Sue, are well, they're staying at the hotel tonight too."

"Since when?"

"Since uh, Alice booked it for them along with all of ours."

I saw red. I had been mad enough when Alice had declared she had booked me a room, and wouldn't even entertain the idea of allowing me to pay for it myself, but now she was also paying for my Dad's. I felt like a charity case. I admit I had never been too gracious accepting gifts of any kind, but to me this was going too far. I just felt so demeaned by it all. None of them ever let me pay for anything when they were around. It was like my money wasn't good enough for them.

I was aware that I was about to overreact, and badly, but it just felt like I was suffocating from it all. I was overwhelmed, and tired, and just... honestly dreading the next few days. I hadn't been to a wedding since... well a long time, and I just knew the moment we got to the hotel, Alice would drag me into a room with the intent to dress me. I didn't even know what I was wearing since Alice had demanded that I allow her to sort that for me. For all I knew she was going to stick me in a mini dress, that every time I moved I was going to be flashing my panties to everyone, it would be form fitting, showing off the slight bump which I was at the minute a little self conscious about since it wasn't always clear it was a pregnancy bump.

It was safe to say, I was a mess.

"Jesus Christ, I'm so sick of this." That was only the beginning. Edward looked at me, a little stunned by my outburst. "I'm so sick of you all throwing money in my face like... like... I'm just some poor person you found and felt pity for. I can afford my own god damn room, and so can my Dad. Do you have any idea how little you all make me feel, flashing your cash here there and everywhere." I ranted.

Tears began stinging my eyes. I hated that reaction, I was an angry crier. You could guarantee the moment I was frustrated tears would betray me. I hated it, it made me feel weak.

"All I want to do is go and crawl into bed and stay there. But no, I've got to go across town where your sister is going to pretend like I'm her Barbie doll. You know what Edward. I can dress my damn self, I might not have the same high sense of style as your Sisters, but I've managed for twenty two years so far," I wasn't even sure anything I was saying made any sense, but it felt quite cathartic to just get it all out. "I don't want to go and spend the weekend, pretending that I'm all happy, when you've barely spoken two fucking words to me all damn week." I sobbed.

"Hey, hey, shh, it's ok." Edward stepped forward and wrapped his arms around me.

I just stood there, crying into his chest, my arms wrapped around his waist, clinging on, almost as though I was scared that if I let him go, he was going to walk away after the hurtful words I had just slung at him.

"Baby, we most certainly don't think of you as a charity case, and I'm so, so sorry if we've made you feel that way. The room was apparently booked for your Dad and Sue so that they wouldn't have to travel all the way back to Forks after the wedding, and so that both you and Seth could spend some extra time with your folks." He whispered as he swayed up soothingly side to side.

The moment he had explained the reasoning for booking a room for my Dad and Sue, I felt awful. I had been such a bitch. I had never once thought about my Dad having to drive the four hours back home afterwards. Even more tears came now, though these were tears of guilt and sorrow, my frustrations long since gone.

"I'm sorry about this week, but I promise you, that things between us are ok, I promise you baby." he told me, pulling away a little to look at me. "We can have a talk when we get back on Sunday ok, but everything's going to be ok." I couldn't not believe him. He pulled me into his chest just holding me close to him, comforting me, which truthfully only made me feel worse.

"Yo, Big Daddy's here." Emmett announced loudly as he bounded into the apartment. "Well, well, well, what do we have here?" He asked cheekily when he saw us together.

"Em shut up." Edward told him.

"Bella. Bella honey what's wrong?" Rose asked concerned when she saw my face which was probably tear stained.

"N... nothing." I managed to stutter. "I'm just... tired." I sighed, pulling away from Edward. "It's been one of those days."

"Oh baby Bell, you'll get used to the mood swings, Rosie here has, haven't you babe." Emmett teased, earning himself an elbow to the stomach.

It was odd, but Emmett made me feel a little better about everything. He was probably right, I was just have a mood swing. My hormones were all over the place, and as far as I was aware this was my first major mood swing so far. I smiled before excusing myself to grab my things. Edward followed me into my room, refusing to let me carry my own bags.

"I'm sorry for being such a bitch." I told him as he watched me zip my bag up.

"Shh Baby, it's fine. We've had a long tough week, you're tired. And it's understandable you not wanting to be tugged around by Alice, so by all means, come hide in my room and get ready there." He joked, since we both knew Alice would find me no matter what.

"Thank you."

He hefted my bag onto his shoulder and kissed my forehead before grabbing my hand and leading the way back to the living room where Emmett and Rose were waiting for us. Emmett helped carry our bags down to the car as Rose hung back with me, linking her arm through mine before asking me if I was sure I was ok. It was all easily blamed on my hormones, but I did manage to tell her I wasn't in the mood for Alice, of which she promised to save me from her, and help me do my hair and make up, how I wanted it doing.

My only worry now was the talk Edward and I had to have. It was nice to have cleared the air somewhat for now, but he was right, we needed to talk, and soon. I couldn't cope with yet another week like the one I had just had. I missed him.

The journey to the hotel didn't take as long as I expected, in fact the shortness of the journey only backed up my claim that I could have stayed back at Edward's apartment and not really struggled too much to get there and back. In my eyes, booking a hotel room in such a prestigious hotel was just an added expense that was unnecessary. It took Edward practically constantly reminding me that it had been Alice's choice to have us all nearby. I still didn't like it, but it was Alice's day, and well what Alice wanted, Alice was going to get. As much as I disliked having money spent on me, I was just going to have to deal with it.

I hung back away from the desk with Rose as the guys went to check us in. I was in awe of the amazing lobby. It was like something out of a movie. The high ceilings, the classy crystal chandeliers, famous pieces of art hanging on the walls. It was definitely upper class, and I actually felt a little out of place in my work clothes.

"Ok, so Bella, you and I have a suite, Rose and Em are just down the hall and apparently Mom and Dad are sharing a suite with Charlie and Sue. However tonight, apparently the girls are all going and staying with Alice in her room, and Jasper is staying in our suite." Edward explained.

It all sounded a little messy to me. I was going to go to one room, only for a few hours later go to another room, only for the following day go back to my original room. A lot of running about if you asked me, but since no-one actually had, I decided to just keep my thoughts to myself. There was just so much about this wedding that I wasn't looking forward to, and I hated myself for not being more full of happiness for Alice. I felt so guilty, because it wasn't anything to do with Alice, it was all my own issues that over the last few weeks, I had pushed to one side.

Following Edward to our suite, I tried my hardest not to be bitter about having a suite instead of just a simple room. I knew, I just knew that a suite would have cost double the amount that just two ordinary rooms would have cost. I suppose the only positive side that I could see was that Edward was sharing it with me, and if I needed anything, it was just like being at home with him. All these thoughts went by the wayside however when we walked into the suite. It was completely ostentatious. Forget it costing double the amount of two standard rooms, it was probably closer to being ten times the amount.

I gaped openly at the grandness of the room. It wasn't to my own personal taste, but it was classically decorated, much like the lobby. Gold plated lamps, crystal chandeliers, a sitting room, dining room that seated ten, two king size beds with private en-suite bathrooms, a big screen TV. Hell the only thing it didn't have was a kitchen. It was all completely unnecessary, but for the sake of not wanting to be the whiny, bitchy Bella, any more, I plastered on smile and headed to one of the rooms, excusing myself so I could go and shower ready for the evenings events.

I had quite literally just gotten out of the shower when Alice pranced in with two garment bags. She was entirely too hyper for me right now, but I couldn't blame her. She was marrying the man of her dreams in less than twenty four hours, I could only wish I would be this excited when it was my turn.

She babbled quickly, telling me which accessories went with each dress. In short she was giving me the option to chose what I wore tonight, which was shocking enough, but when she began apologizing for not being able to stick around and help me get ready because she had last minute things to do, I was completely spellbound. I honestly felt like screaming for Edward to come and pinch me to make sure I wasn't dreaming. With a kiss to my cheek, she bounded out as quickly as she came, calling out her goodbyes to Edward as she did so. I sat on the edge of the bed, unable to move.

"Edward!" I called once I had heard the door click shut.

"Yeah." He appeared, popping his head around the doorway.

"Who was she? And what has she done with Alice?"

His only response was a real belly laugh before disappearing again, leaving me to try and shake myself out of the shock Alice had left me in.

Half an hour later Rose appeared, wearing nothing but a fluffy hotel robe, with her hair and make-up already complete. Having looked at both of Alice's choices, I was tempted to go for the more plain of the two, but after some gentle persuasion, Rose talked me into the ivory and silver speckled strapless dress. It had a sweetheart neckline, and hugged my curves gently, falling to just above my knee. It hid the tiny bump well, which was honestly what I wanted this weekend. It would be the first time I met the Cullen's extended family as well as Rose and Jasper's parents, and I wasn't sure how prepared I was to answer question after question about having this baby for Emmett and Rose. I knew there were bound to be some, but by not having the bump on display, I could at least attempt to mingle amongst the other guests and pretend to be one of them.

Having decided on my dress, Rose helped me apply my make up and style my hair appropriately. She put very little make up on me, leaving me looking very natural, which I honestly liked, and my hair was again left very simple but elegant. She straightened my hair, before pulling half of it back into a half pony tail with a gorgeous clip, leaving the bangs around my face.

She left me to get dressed on my own, telling me that she would see me down stairs in about twenty minutes, where we were meeting the rest of the wedding party to have a run through of the actual wedding, before having the meal with the rest of the family and wedding party. In all honesty, I wasn't completely sure why I was having to go to the rehearsal as I was going to be doing nothing put sitting with the rest of the guests. When I had questioned this with Rose whilst I had been getting ready, she had explained that Alice saw me as part of the family, and wanted me there. This only made me feel even worse for my earlier thoughts. From that moment on, I had decided I was going to put more effort forth for Alice's sake at least. I was touched that she thought of me as being a part of her family, but it didn't take away the fact that the next two days were going to be a little hard to take.

After slipping my dress on, and checking and rechecking my appearance, I stuffed my cell, credit card and a little bit of cash into my purse and headed into the living room to wait for Edward, but found him already waiting for me. I should have known he wouldn't have dreamt of keeping me waiting.

"Wow, you look... amazing." He told me, standing up.

I could feel the blush rising in my cheeks, which really only made me blush even more. I hated being the centre of attention, even if there was only Edward in the room. I had always been a bit of a wall flower, and I never expected that to change.

"Thank you. You look very... um, handsome."

Handsome wasn't really the right word, simply because he was much more than that. Dressed in a plain black suite, with a sparkling white shirt and black tie, he looked exactly like the Mr. GQ I had met that first night all those months ago. I actually found myself looking forward to the wedding tomorrow, if for no other reason than to see him wearing his tux.

"Shall we get going?" Edward gestured toward the door.

I nodded, hoping and praying that at least one of the Cullen's would be at my side throughout the night. It was then I realized I hadn't spoken to either Emmett or Rose about whether they were being open about having a surrogate, or whether I was to be a secret so to speak. As usual I kind of wanted to be a bit of both. I didn't want to feel like they were hiding me from their family, almost like they were ashamed of me, but at the same time, I wasn't sure how comfortable I felt with being asked questions all night, because I knew the moment I was introduced as their surrogate, I would be the talk of the evening.

"Um..." I paused before we left the room. I wanted to tell Edward my fears, but I also didn't want to burden him.

"What Baby?" He asked, stopping in front of me, watching me. "What's wrong?"

"Shit... it's just your family... not your um... parents, but the like um, ones I haven't met." Jesus, why couldn't I just come out with it? "Well, the thing is, I never asked Rose and Em about the um baby."

I did start to wonder if I was being a little melodramatic about it all, I mean surely at some point I would have to be introduced to someone, and whether the baby came into it or not, didn't really matter at this point. It wasn't like I was showing or anything. But my main worry, was being blind sided.

"Don't worry about it Baby, we'll have time to ask them before we go into the rehearsal, and I promise you, none of us will leave you alone." He wrapped a comforting arm around my waist and kissed my forehead.

This was another thing I had missed this week. Edward had such a way of comforting and calming me when I needed it the most. A simple hug like the one he had just given me, was so full of reassurance, that I couldn't possibly not believe him.

As it turned out, when we met Rose and Emmett down stairs, they both told me that unless I was uncomfortable in everyone knowing, they were more than happy to tell everyone exactly who I was. They both promised that out of the three of them, I would always have at least one of them by my side, to save me from the family members that were a little too inquisitive for their own good. A few names were tossed between Edward and Emmett in jest, as Rose rolled her eyes and linked arms with me, leading me into the garden area where the ceremony was going to take place.

Though it was dusk now, the set out looked amazing. Perfectly white chairs faced a stone alter that overlooked a backdrop of trees. The wooden canopy was currently open but I remembered Alice telling me that there was waterproof cover should it rain. I hadn't really imagined Alice to be one to want an outdoor wedding, but I couldn't fault her choice.

Upon spotting us, Alice's shrieked that I looked amazing, and she was so pleased that I had chosen this dress rather than the black one she had sent as well, before rushing me down the aisle to my seat beside Esme. Jasper was already stood at the alter and was quickly joined by Emmett and Edward, after they had practically sprinted away from Alice, who was ordering people around like a drill sergeant.

"I do sometimes wonder where she got the energy and organisation skills from." Esme commented as we both chuckled when we heard Alice shout to the guys to stop messing around.

Since neither Esme nor I had anything to do in regards to the wedding, we both sat, watching with slight amusement, as Alice got angrier and angrier every time something didn't go quite as perfectly as she thought it should. Edward made the slight mistake of commenting on how many times did they really need to practice walking up and down the aisle.

Esme pointed out Rose and Jaspers parents who I also noticed kept glancing at me every so often in intrigue. I figured they already knew I was their Daughters surrogate, and since I had yet to be introduced to them, they were bound to be inquisitive about who I was. That didn't mean to say I liked the idea they were watching me, making judgements about me.

After nine practice runs, Alice felt everyone was well practised enough at what they were going to be doing tomorrow, and allowed everyone to head into the function room where we were to have dinner. Though not before warning everyone that should they mess up tomorrow, there would be all kinds of hell to pay. I was honestly quite scared of her by that point, and I wasn't even in the damn wedding.

Since we were running a little late for the meal since Alice had demanded so many practice runs, a few people were already mingling with each other, champaign and other various drinks in their hands. What I wouldn't give for a glass of bubbly right about now, just something to take the edge off having the task of meeting people.

I spotted my Dad, Sue, Seth and Alec stood not far away, and since Edward had a firm grip on my hand, I dragged him with me. My Dad upon spotting me, smiled and enveloped me in a hug. I could vaguely hear Edward greeting Sue, Seth and Alec, but I was caught in a Father-Daughter moment with my Dad.

"How you doing Baby?" He asked as he pulled away slightly.

"I'm ok." I smiled, trying to reassure him. I knew he wasn't just asking about my well being in general. "How are you?" I asked.

"I'm doing good."

I gave his hand one last squeeze before I turned to Sue and gave her a hug. Sue for all intents and purposes had been a bit of a mother figure for me growing up. Of course for the most part I had my Gran, but after she died, Sue kind of stepped in. We had never been overly close, but since I was close to Seth, in our earlier years, and then my Dad being good friends her late husband, I had always known she was there if ever I needed to talk. I often wished I had taken her up on her offer more.

"Oh honey, you look wonderful. Pregnancy obviously suites you." She beamed at me, holding my hands in hers, but taking a step back to look me up and down.

"But that doesn't mean to say I'm ready to be a Grandpa quite yet young lady." My Dad cleared his throat from behind me.

"Oh hush Charlie. You want to be young enough to enjoy your grandchildren."

Seth snickered at my Dad being chastised, though I'm pretty sure he wished he hadn't when Sue spun around to him, and told him she was still expecting him to make her a Gran someday, sooner rather than later.

Sue had always been very supportive of Seth being gay, and refused to treat him any different just because he was with Alec rather than some girl who could give her all the grandchildren she could possibly want. The pressure between Seth and Leah was pretty much the same, although with the amount of travelling Leah did for her job, I think Sue herself knew she had more chance of Seth granting her, her wishes earlier than Leah ever would.

"Hey Alec." I leant over and gave him a quick hug, whilst Sue continued playfully chastising Seth.

"Hey gorgeous. Did you really have to bring Eddie here." He teased, which inevitably opened a whole new can of worms.

Edward and I stayed with my Dad and Sue for a few minutes longer, until Emmett came to collect me so I could officially be introduced to Rose and Jaspers parents. On our way over, Emmett assured me that everything would be fine, but I wasn't so sure. I just had this really odd feeling that they would hate me or something. Which granted wouldn't really matter one way or the other, since I was already pregnant and it was only what Em and Rose thought that mattered, but still, the idea of them disliking me for whatever reason, wasn't a nice thought.

"Peter and Charlotte Hale, this is Bella." Emmett announced loudly as we came to a stop in front of them.

"Hi it's lovely to meet you." I smiled, shaking each of their hands as they were offered.

They both seemed to be looking me up and down, as if appraising me. It was nerve racking, much worse than meeting a boyfriends parents for the first time. Hell I don't think I had felt this nervous meeting Carlisle and Esme for the first time.

Nothing was said for what felt like forever. I glanced at both Rose and Emmett, even Edward, hoping they would help me out here, but none of them seemed to notice the situation. Maybe it was just me feeling like minutes had passed when only seconds had.

Suddenly a weight hit me dead on, causing me to stumble back a step before I'm assuming it was Edward, caught me. The air had been crushed out of my lungs, as I realized it was Rose' Mom that had grabbed me into a hug.

"Oh thank you, thank you for helping our little girl." She began sobbing.

"Um... you're welcome." I replied awkwardly, patting her back gently.

The shock of the situation wore off pretty quick, and I felt my arm automatically hug her back, though not quite as hard as she was hugging me, and it seemed as though she didn't want to let me go.

"Charlotte, let the poor girl go before you squeeze the baby out of her." Peter chuckled.

"Oh I'm sorry dear. It's just all very emotional." She quickly apologized as she stepped back.

"It's fine." I reassured her, just thankful she wasn't wanting to kill me right now.

After some persuasion she talked me around to stretching the material of my dress over my tiny bump, which immediately caused her to tear up. Rose's bump in her pink one shouldered dress was blatantly obvious, but even more so at the side of mine. It looked quite the difference considering there was only two months between our due dates.

Thankfully dinner was about to be served before I had to meet any more of the family. And Alice God bless her soul, had seated me and Edward with my Dad, Sue, Alec and Seth. Being around my family and friends as well as Edward relaxed me, even when I could feel people staring at me as I walked across the room hand in hand with Edward. I could see them trying to decide who I was, and why I was with Edward. I suppose to the outsider we did look like a couple, and I wasn't about to dispute that fact.

Conversation flowed throughout the meal, and I found I was actually beginning to enjoy myself, even with my Dad's concerned glances, the subject of James coming up, as well as how my insurance clam for my apartment was coming on. Once or twice I found myself reaching for my Dad's hand under the table, trying to reassure him that I was fine, knowing this was just as hard for him as it was me.

After dinner I was introduced to some of the Cullen family, though honestly, had you asked me to tell you who was who, I wouldn't have known where to start. It felt like there were so many of them, and all I wanted to do was stay with my friends and family, instead of been towed around the room. Esme came and stole me a few times to introduce me to some of her family, her Mom in particular was hilarious. She was very straight talking, shot from the hip, and definitely didn't mince her words. One or two of Alice's friends came under fire, where Mrs. Platt certainly made her opinion of their very short dresses well known. I absolutely adored her, she reminded me very much of my Gran.

Of course, as much time I would have liked to have spent with Esme's Mom, there were unfortunately it seemed a long line of people, just dying to meet me. Or more like find out who I was so they could gossip about me behind my back. It certainly didn't go unnoticed in the room that there seemed to be an awful lot of interest in me, and exactly why I was there. But that, I had expected. What I hadn't counted on, was the reaction everyone seemed to have when they found out I was pregnant. Rose seemed to be dealing with it a hell of a lot better than I, whether that was because she actually knew the people, or maybe it was because she was so used to it by now, especially with her showing far more than I was.

"I swear, if one more person pats my stomach, I will not be responsible for my reaction." I hissed to Edward.

"I'm sorry." Edward apologized, wrapping his arm around my shoulder and kissing my cheek.

All evening he had been very touchy, feely with me. He had never strayed more than a few steps away from me, and it seemed for the most point he was always touching me in some way. Whether that was simply holding my hand, wrapping a comforting arm around my shoulders or placing his hand on the small of my back. I wasn't complaining about this, since he had always been like this with me, but tonight, it felt like he had upped the anti on it. Almost like he was staking his claim on me. I could dream right.

"Baby, me and Sue are going to turn in now, we're tired. We had a long drive." My Dad told me as he and Sue approached us, with Seth and Alec behind them.

"Sure thing Dad." I gave him a hug, winking at Seth over my Dad's shoulder, seeing Seth shudder. "I'll see you tomorrow. Love you."

"Love you too Baby girl."

I hugged Sue goodnight, whispering in her ear a request for her to take care of him. I knew tonight and tomorrow would be equally as hard on him, as it was for me. Giving me an extra squeeze she told me she would, as well as remind me that I knew where she was if I needed her. I couldn't love Sue more in that moment if I had tried. It was nice for someone to actually know how difficult this was for us both.

I knew at some point I would have to come clean to the Cullen's, they deserved to know. I hated that I had put Esme in a position where she was hiding my secret from her family. She had even encouraged me to tell them, knowing that they would be supportive and understanding. I just couldn't though. In my mind, there was never a good time. If I had told them before Alice's wedding, they would have felt awful, guilty, and tiptoed around me, if I had told them when I first met them, they would think it was the sole reason for me doing what I was doing. And whilst it was a big reason, it wasn't my only reason.

I knew I was simply evading the inevitable, I wasn't being fair to Esme. I hadn't actually voiced my request that she not say anything, she just seemed to understand that it was my story to tell, and I would when I was ready. Of course she had tried and continued to try and encourage me to do so. I hated that she, Seth, and in extension Alec, had to be so careful what they said for my sake. Worried that at any time they would say the wrong thing and out my big secret, that let's face it, wasn't really a secret, it was simply something I chose to not talk about. I was sure the more time the Cullen's spent in Forks, the more likely it was they would find out by themselves, and whilst that was a tempting idea, there was a risk factor they wouldn't get the full, or even correct version. But the problem was, the longer I left it, the harder it was becoming to even know where to start in telling them.

"Ugh, I am so ready to get out of here." Rose sighed as she sat heavily in the seat next to me. "I think just about everyone in this room has patted my stomach, like I'm a God damn lucky charm. Has no-one heard of personal space."

I fought back a laugh, thinking how well Rose had summed up my own feelings. Not only was I ready to escape everyone, I was just ready to sleep. Thankfully it seemed most of the other guests had similar feelings, as the number seemed to be dwindling at a steady pace.

It was only a half an hour later when we finally began the ascent to our rooms. Or rather to Alice's room. I really wanted to go back to mine and Edward's room, if for nothing more than some peace and quiet, but that wasn't on the cards. Instead we bid the guys good night, having to witness a rather sickly good night kiss between Alice and Jasper, who you would think were separating for more than just one night.

Watching the two of them, I was struck by how jealous I actually felt. Even Rose and Em whose goodnight kiss had been anything but over the top, for a change, had me wishing it was me and Edward instead. Our goodnight had been a simple hug and a reminder from Edward that if I wanted anything I should call him. It was sweet, but I just wished that he would kiss me the way the two couples with us had.

Finally we ditched the guys and settled in Alice's room around the TV. She had called room service whilst I had been in the bathroom getting ready for bed, and had ordered just about all the junk food that had been on the menu list. I can't say I wasn't pleased, especially when I saw the plate of fries, which I immediately dove in to.

We were meant to be watching a movie, but it felt like every five minutes Alice was dashing about the room, double and triple checking that everything was in order for tomorrow morning. I could understand her apprehension, but I knew if she kept this up for the rest of the night, I was going to be sneaking back to mine and Edward's room to get some sleep.

_B - Hows things going down there. Jaspers freaking out, he must have checked his tux six times already - E xoxo_

_E - Alice too. I'm exhausted just watching her. I'm considering hitting her over the head just to get her to stop moving - B xoxo_

_B - I can't say I blame you. Just make sure you don't use anything too heavy - E xoxo_

"Hey, we're not meant to be having any contact with the guys tonight." Alice screeched when she noticed me texting.

"Say's who? I never agreed to anything." I replied, a little too sharply, but I didn't like the idea of not being able to talk to Edward, especially after our week of not really communicating.

"Say's me. It's my last night as a single woman, if I can't contact my man, then you can't contact yours."

It took a few seconds before it sunk in that she had referred to Edward as my man. My heart soared at the idea, but at the same time, I felt the need to correct her. I didn't want his family to get the wrong idea about the two of us. I also didn't want it to get back to Edward, that I hadn't disagreed with her. The last thing I needed was for him to be thinking that I had planted that idea in her head.

"Well that's ok then isn't it, because Edward isn't my man, therefore I'm not breaking any of your rules."

"Oh please Bella, you aren't fooling anyone." Alice teased. "You and Edward have been hot for each other since day one."

Her comment shocked me. Well not the me having the hots for Edward part of it, but the him having the hots for me part of it. There was no way that Edward felt anything other than friendship for me. And I told her so.

"Bella, honey. Wake up and smell the coffee." Alice retorted.

"Alice!" Rose admonished her. "Bella, Alice is right sweetie. Maybe we see it more because we know him so well, but he definitely does have more than platonic feelings for you."

_B - You haven't really hit her have you? Lol - E xoxo_

"See. He can't even go a few hours without being in contact with you." Alice insisted. "Has it never occurred to you, that in the whole time you've known Edward, he has never been on a single date?"

It really hadn't. But now it had been brought to my attention, it did seem a little odd. I mean he was young, free and single, and in the whole four months that I had known him, he had never mentioned anyone being in his life. I had been living with him for just over a month, and he had never been out on a date, and barely even went out with the guys. Whenever he did go out, it generally had included me, because the six of us were doing something together.

But even then, that didn't really mean he had feelings for me. Sure he hadn't been out with other girls, maybe he was just having a break from dating. Maybe he was just being incredibly considerate and not going out on dates because he didn't want to rub my nose in it. Or maybe he just hadn't met someone who pushed his buttons.

I knew the vague details surrounding his relationship with Tanya, and whose to say he was even a regular on the dating scene before he met me. I only knew of how he spent his evenings in the last month because I had been living with him. Whose to say he hadn't been out on a date before that.

_B - Is everything ok? - E xoxo_

"Bella, you better answer him before he goes into panic mode." Rose told me softly.

_E - Busted! Apparently we're meant to be having a no fraternization evening. I'll talk to you in the morning. Night - B xoxo_

"Bella, we're only telling you this, because we just want you to be happy." Alice reached over and turned the TV off.

"I am happy." I argued.

"No we mean really happy." Alice insisted. "The two of you would be so perfect together. I've never seen Edward like this, not even with Tanya. He really does care for you, you know."

"I know he cares for me. We're good friends."

"No, he really cares for you Bella. It's like he has a built in radar for you. Tonight, whenever he had to leave your side, his eyes never left you. His attention is constantly on you." Rose told me.

I felt like crying. I felt like they were trying to plant happy ideas in my head, ideas and dreams I truly didn't think would come true. I knew they were trying to be nice, I never thought they would ever do anything malicious to me, but maybe they too were wishful thinking for me and Edward to be together. I mean, I liked to think the three of us were good friends, maybe even best friends, and the idea of them actually being my real sisters one day, was the nicest thought ever, maybe they just wanted the same.

The two of them continued listing things that they felt backed up their claim. Things like Edward calling me Baby, offering to let me live with him, when he could have easily suggested me going to live with Rose and Em, the whole taking care of me, wanting to be Rose and Em's second, when he could have turned it down for Alice to do instead. There was this huge list of times we had spent together and Edward had said or done something that only solidified what they had been saying all along.

By the time we laid down in bed, my mind was in a whirl. They had given me so much evidence that Edward really did have feelings for me that went beyond friendship, that even I had trouble doubting their claims. I was just so scared to get my hopes up.

I reached for my phone with the intention of reading all the texts I had from Edward, to see if I could see any sign of his true feelings in them. And there is was, in a message that was unread, that he had sent whilst I had been talking with Alice and Rose.

_B - I kinda really miss you Baby - E xoxo_

**Awww so she finally knows he likes her. So we just have Edward to convince now :D That has seriously got to be the lnogest chapter I have written, finishing somewhere around 8900 words, so please leave me some feedback, it is much appreciated and as usual, a teaser for each review :D**


	24. Save the last dance

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so ner ner ner ner ner :p

_And here we are yet again. The day of the wedding. **Eeek!** So again, big thank you's to my reviewers – **BwithUforever**, **Meyer-Madness**, **VelvetWhispers**, **DONNAGIRL**, **Linz832** and **Bandeforever16** – you guys are so amazing, and I can't thank you enough **:D :D :D :D**_

_**A/N : Pictures** of all the wedding outfits are on my profile, just click on the link :D_

Chapter 24

_Oh, I know (oh, I know)_  
_That the music's fine like sparkling wine_  
_Go and have your fun_  
_Laugh and sing_  
_But while we're apart_  
_Don't give your heart to anyone_

_But don't forget who's taking you home_  
_And in whose arms you're gonna be_  
_So darlin', save the last dance for me, mmmm_

_The Drifters - Save the last dance_

_E - Busted! Apparently we're meant to be having a no fraternization evening. I'll talk to you in the morning. Night - B xoxo_

Damn it! I currently really disliked my sister for the torture she was putting me under. I'd say she didn't know it, but I was convinced she did. She had known from day one more or less that I had feelings for Bella. She had made no secret that she wanted me to come clean, and this was most likely her way of putting me under pressure to do so. She was good, I'd give her that. She had to know I would hate being separated from her. In the last six weeks and two days since Bella had come to live with me, we had spent zero nights away from each other. We were literally a room away from each other, but now, there was a whole floor, god knows how many people. I felt lost.

I was meant to be having a good time with Jasper and Emmett, playing poker, having burping and farting competitions of all things. It was Jaspers last night as an 'unmarried' man. Apparently we weren't allowed to call him a single man, since in Alice's eyes, that interpreted the fact he didn't have a partner of any kind. Something of which he most certainly did have. But my mind wouldn't leave Bella. I ached for her.

After the week we had, had, and then her breakdown earlier at home, I needed to be with her. We had put each other through pure torture this last week, avoiding each other. But as much as I hated that we had lost time together, it thrilled me in with the knowledge that I now knew I couldn't be without her.

Finally taking Jasper and Emmett's advice, I knew I had to tell Bella about my feelings. I couldn't go on like this. She had to know, and hopefully she would feel the same, or at least similar. My hopes were somewhat lifted after seeing her reaction at home. She clearly had disliked our self imposed distance. There was hope for me yet.

_B - I kinda really miss you Baby - E xoxo_

I had to tell her. She had to know I was missing her, more than I can ever remember missing anything or anyone in my whole life. She was my world, and I was by now at the point where I was unafraid to admit to it.

During the whole rehearsal, as I was standing next to Jasper, my mind had constantly wandered to her, wondering what it would be like if I was in Jasper's place, and she in Alice's. I know I was getting ahead of myself, but I can't deny that I was excited just by the thought. It should be scary how much this girl had taken over my life, but she had, and I didn't mind, not one bit.

Over the following few hours, I admitted to both Jasper and Emmett, that I was going to tell Bella how I felt. The were both thrilled and supportive at my announcement, telling me it was about time. Hearing them tell me they were convinced Bella felt the same, gave me some added confidence.

By the time morning came, I was more than read to see Bella. I had, had a pretty restless night, my mind never truly resting. I kept wondering whether Bella was ok, if she was having any cravings, whether she needed me for anything, but didn't feel like she could call me. I was pretty much on tenterhooks all night. Even Jasper had caught me pacing at turned two am, and had to calm me down. Ridiculous really, considering out of all of us, he had the biggest reason to be apprehensive. But in true Jasper fashion, he was as cool as a cucumber.

Well, that was until ten am, after we had returned from breakfast. We had a while before we had to start getting ready, but it was like it suddenly hit him, that in a few hours, he was going to be a married man. However, he was more concerned with the possibility that Alice was nervous, or having a change of heart. No matter how many times both Em and I told him, that, that wasn't a possibility since our baby sister was head over heels in love with him, Jasper was still concerned about her.

Eventually, we gave in, and broke Alice's rule of no contact, and called Rose. At first when Em had explained to Rose that Jasper wanted to talk to Alice, Alice had refused, sticking to her guns that they weren't going to have any contact until they met at the alter. The moment Em explained to Rose that Jasper was freaking out that Alice was nervous, that changed things, and the couple spent the next thirty minutes calming each other.

Wanting to take advantage of the fact Alice was talking to her guy, I was more than tempted to call Bella, but somehow managed to convince myself that I would be seeing her in a few hours, and I didn't want to freak her out with my need for her. Especially considering that tomorrow I was planning on telling her everything.

We took it in turns to shower, me being the last of the three of us. Jasper was by now a vision of calm, dressing in his deep black tux, with tan waistcoat. All the males tux' matched, so I assumed the tan colour would match either Alice's dress or the bridesmaids dresses. I knew from Bella that she wasn't wearing a bridesmaid dress, after having finally put her foot down to Alice and telling her she wasn't going to be a bridesmaid. It had been hard for her, since it wasn't really in Bella's nature to fight, but she was determined that she wasn't going to be a part of the wedding party.

I was just pulling my waistcoat on, watching Emmett in amusement as he fumbled with his tie, when my Dad and Peter entered the room with Bella in tow. Her hair and make up where complete, but she was wearing the blue capitals t-shirt I had given her months ago, and a pair of faded jeans. She looked perfect.

"Look who we kidnapped on our way up." My Dad announced, hugging Bella to his side.

"I wouldn't say kidnap Carlisle." Bella smiled. "More like assisted with an escape." She teased.

Seeing Bella and my Dad together, God, you have know idea what it did to me. My family were so important to me, and seeing how well she got along with them, well it just solidified my feelings for her. She had fit so easily, and so perfectly into my life it was unreal. Tanya never had, sure she was polite and civil, but she had never bonded, or even tried to bond with my family, the way Bella had naturally done so.

At the same time, knowing my family cared for Bella already, without even having reason, eased any concerns I could have ever had about garnering their approval. She already had it. Tanya never had. I can't count the amount of times where one or more members of my family had told me they disliked Tanya, that they thought she was wrong for me. I had argued against them, when I now wished I had listened to them. They had been right about her all along, but at the time, I had been so blinded by what I thought I felt for her.

"That bad down there huh?" Em asked, as he continued to struggle with his tie.

"I was choking on hairspray." She replied, crossing over the room to assist Emmett.

We all watched with amusement as Bella pulled the tie from around his neck, and wrapped it around her own, before tying it within a matter of seconds, only to replace it around Emmett's neck and tighten into place. She had made it look effortless. I wore ties every day, and sometimes I still had a mind block on how to tie the damn things, whereas she had made it look like second nature.

"What?" She asked, when she noticed Emmett gaping at her.

"Where the hell did you learn to do that?"

"Dad was always useless at tying his work ties, Jake was no better, and Seth is completely useless."

It was the most simple of explanations but the moment she brought up Jake, I couldn't help but wonder why she was tying his ties in the first place. Sure I knew they had been friends, being a bridesmaid at his wedding was a huge hint to that, but it was rare if ever she mentioned him. All I knew about the guy was that he was Seth's cousin, he was friends with Bella, and was five plus years older than Seth and Bella.

In fact, when I thought about it, it was rare that Seth every mentioned him, and when he did, it was all about the stuff they got up to when they were kids. Never present tense. If I didn't know different, I would have said he had died or something, but something told me that wasn't right. Even James had mentioned him, though I couldn't quite remember what he had said when referring to him. Whatever it had been, had infuriated both Bella and Seth.

"Where'd you disappear off to?" Bella asked me, appearing suddenly at my side.

"Somewhere hot and sunny." I replied teasingly.

"Sounds great, but don't tell Alice, she'd be pissed that you were sunning yourself on her wedding day." Bella playfully warned. "Alice wanted someone to check on Jasper, and I was more than happy to escape their clutches." She whispered conspiratorially.

"That bad?"

"Worse!" She chuckled. "I've had three different hair styles alone this morning, until Alice finally decided just leaving it down. I feel like I've been primped to within an inch of my life."

"Poor baby." I pulled her into a playful hug, though it was anything but playful for me.

Not long after, Bella left to report back to Alice, and to finish getting herself ready. Just seeing her walk out of the room, I felt the tension and stress return. God I wanted to go with her, I didn't want to stay cooped up in this room with the guys, drinking whiskey, toasting my best friend who was less than an hour away from marrying my baby sister.

"Relax Son, you'll be seeing her in just over half an hour." My Dad offered me a glass of whiskey.

I forced a smile and took the offered beverage and downed it in one swallow. He laughed quietly at me, before patting my shoulder and walking away. He knew me well enough I guess to know that I wouldn't be able to relax properly until I could see her again. Part of me was actually desperate to go to her now and tell her everything. Wedding be damned.

Ten minutes before we were due downstairs, my Dad disappeared to go to Alice. I could tell by the look on his face that he was feeling mixed emotions. Alice was his little girl, his only girl. Even though she hadn't lived at home for a number of years now, I could imagine how hard it was to give her away to another man, no matter how good that man was. I knew it was going to be hard enough to watch my baby sister go from being a Cullen to a Whitlock.

"Just think Em, if you have a girl, twenty years down the line, that could be you." I pointed out, trying to ease the slight tension that had begun to take over the room.

By the look on Emmett's face, I could tell he hadn't thought that far down the line. He looked like he wanted to break down in tears and kill me at the same time.

"My daughter isn't going to date until she's forty... if she's lucky." He said seriously.

"Funny, I said that about Rose when we adopted her, and just look what I ended up with as a son in law." Peter joked.

Emmett didn't look as though he agreed, but dropped it, probably trying to think of anything else other than the fact that maybe in twenty odd years time, he was going to be walking his little girl down the aisle to the man of her dreams. Whoever the guy was, I wished him all the luck in the world, and knew he would have to have balls of steel to even dare date Emmett's daughter.

Oddly enough, I actually really felt for Emmett. Having spent so much time with Bella, and even more time dreaming of our future together, I wasn't so sure I would cope any better with the prospect of my baby girl getting married. The respect I had for my Dad grew infinitely more in that single moment. What he was about to do was akin to a future nightmare for me.

By the time we were stood in the doorway to the garden where the ceremony was being held, all thoughts of having to do this for my future daughter had gone, and I was fully concentrating on the corner of the room where Bella would appear, hopefully soon. Jasper had gone inside to wait, leaving Emmett and I stood to greet the guests.

"So you've finally decided to man up and tell her then?" Emmett asked pausing to greet guests as they passed us.

"Yeah. Hopefully by tomorrow evening, we will know whether or not you were right I guess."

"I still can't believe you're questioning it. Trust me little Brother. By tomorrow evening, you will be on your hands and knees kissing my feet."

"Sure, whatever you say Em." I chuckled, hoping to God that he was right.

It was at that moment both my Mom and Bella strolled around the corner. I was completely and utterly breathless at the sight of her. My Mom had linked arms with her, as they both talked animatedly, laughing at whatever it was the other had said. She looked absolutely exquisite. She was wearing a simple, baby pink strapless dress, that fell to just below her knees, but even lower in the back. It had one of those waistlines that hugged her just below her chest. I actually felt myself getting hard, just at the vision of her. Her hair was exactly the same as it had been this morning, resting lightly on her shoulders in big loose curls. She wore a simple silver chain with a heart pendant, and good lord, I felt jealous of a piece of jewellery.

"Oh my boys, you look so handsome." My Mom gave us a hug each.

"Can I walk you to your seat mi lady?" Emmett asked, giving me a sly wink as he walked my Mom down the aisle to her seat.

I had no idea what to say to her. Any words I could find just weren't adequate enough. I don't think there was even a word to describe how I was feeling in that moment. She was everything I never knew I wanted or needed, and that in itself sounded completely cliché, but it was completely true. I had to pull myself together though. She was looking at me expectantly. It didn't matter that I was ready to throw her over my shoulder and head to our room where I would spend the rest of this lifetime and the next devouring her. What mattered was getting through this wedding, and spending the next day convincing her of how much I loved her.

"You look..." There just wasn't a word that described how amazing she looked. "Beautiful doesn't even cover it, but it's the best I've got."

"Thank you." She replied, clearly nervous since she was biting her lower lip. If only she knew exactly what that did to me. "You look... amazing." And with such an innocent move, of running her hand down my chest, I was rock hard.

"Oh Bella, you look lovely honey." Sue exclaimed, having walked into our moment.

"Thank... thank you."

And there went our moment.

Bella's Dad, Sue, Seth and Alec had descended on us. Charlie looked uncomfortable, as he continued tugging at the collar of his shirt, each time being chastised by Sue, who continually straightened his tie whenever he had messed it up. He gave Bella a hug that lingered, a little longer than a normal greeting, but not too long that it came to everyone's notice. I noticed though. I found it... odd, like there was something unspoken going on between the two of them.

Since Bella had no-one to walk her to her seat, instead of offering her my arm, I took her hand in mine, and walked her down the aisle. Just the simple action, had me wanting to walk down the aisle for real with Bella. I could actually feel most of the guests eyes on us, and though we were in the middle of Charlie and Sue, Seth and Alec, which was probably what had garnered peoples attentions the most, I was so proud to have Bella by my side. I couldn't help but think Alice would have to pull something amazing out of the bag in order for Bella not to outshine her. But that was just my opinion.

Bella was sandwiched between her Dad and Seth, directly behind my Mom, who immediately turned in her seat and began a conversation with both Bella and Sue. I took that as my cue to not being needed any further, and instead of heading back to the doors, I joined Jasper and Emmett at the alter.

With the final few guests taking their seats, I stood beside a extremely calm Jasper, whose eyes were glued to the double doors at the end of the room, waiting for the first glimpse of the bride. My eyes however were stuck to Bella, who was stood watching the same spot Jasper and every other guest in the room were looking.

When the music started, I had to drag my eyes away, and watched as Jasper and Rose's older sister Irina and her young daughter Heidi who were the first bridesmaid and flower girl to walk down the aisle toward us. Next came Rose, who in the same dress as the first bridesmaid walked confidently down the aisle. She looked radiant in the floor length, milky coffee coloured gown, whose colours matched all the grooms-men's waistcoats and ties. The chocolate coloured ribbon that was tied below her breasts and draped down the length of the dress really accentuated her pregnancy, which I knew she was now showing with pride.

Bella wasn't quite to that point yet, not that her bump was really big enough to notice in the first place, but I knew she had gone to lengths this weekend to keep it under wraps a little. Maybe it was because she was around strangers, or she didn't want to upstage Em and Rose, but if I was honest, I found myself actually wanting to keep her pregnancy a little quiet myself.

As much as I wanted to be with Bella, I wasn't stupid enough to not know that we had issues to face beforehand. Obviously the first being whether she felt the same or anything close to my own feelings for her. And the second being that she was carrying my Brothers child, and there was nothing we could do about it. In an ideal world, I guess I could have just waited for her, but I also knew I wasn't that patient. I would though. Wait for her I mean. If she wanted to remain as we were until she had, had the baby, I would. It would be torture, but I would do it. I mean seven more months weren't the end of the world. Right?

The wedding march song startled me from my thoughts, and I could hear Emmett beside me fighting his chuckles, at his more than obvious amusement at my jumping at the first note. Any other place or time, I would have turned round and playfully punched him. Instead I settled for giving him the finger behind my back, which truthfully only made him have to fight his laughter more.

Our playful teasing immediately ceased when Alice appeared in the doorway, arm in arm with my Dad. She was absolutely breath taking. Her hair had been pulled into a bun of some sorts and some flowers were visible over the top of her head. Her dress was off white, strapless, with jewels sat elegantly at the waist. The skirt of it reminded me a little of the kind that Disney princesses wore. She looked every bit like a princess too.

She began the walk with my Dad, taking her time, her smile beaming at everyone, though I could see her eyes were focused on Jasper. As were his on her. In fact I felt sure I saw his Adams apple bob a few times as he fought to swallow. I honestly could not blame him.

The ceremony itself went by without a hitch... I think. For the most part, my attention had remained on Bella, who from where I was standing I could see she was holding her Dad's hand and had tears in her eyes. What I couldn't work out though was whether she was comforting her Dad or him, her. If I had to say, I would probably have gone with the aforementioned, since it seemed like Charlie had a decent grip on Bella's tiny hand.

The only time my attention had been stolen away from Bella, was first when I heard sniffling, which it turned out was coming from my Mom and Jaspers Mom, and the second time was when Emmett had thankfully subtly nudged me right before I was expected to hand over the rings. I would have to remember to thank him for that later. Before I knew it, I was walking back down the aisle with Rose beside me, her arm linked through mine, as she smiled and nodded toward family and friends.

"How much of the ceremony actually registered with you?" Rose leant toward me and whispered.

"Three minutes tops." I replied truthfully.

"Thought so." She added smugly, before planting a kiss to my cheek and turning to Emmett who had followed us out with Alice's other bridesmaid, Irina.

"I think baby bro here needs a drink." Emmett declared as he guided me, or more like dragged me, with himself and Rose to the reception room, where we were to mingle before sitting down for the meal.

"Go!" My Mom told me, after fifteen minutes of talking with my family, or rather glancing around myself trying to locate Bella, who had yet to join us.

She had this knowing smile, that I swore held a slight bit of smugness in it. I knew for a fact I would be living this down for the rest of my life. Well I could only hope anyway, since I knew they wouldn't hold it against me if Bella didn't return my feelings.

Having not seen Bella since entering the room, I had to circle around it in order to find her. I began loosing patience whenever a guest would stop me for idle chatter. Did they not understand I had to get to my girl. I was close to just barging through them all, or even standing on one of the chairs to see over everyone. I just needed her. I finally spotted Seth standing tall between the other guests, and just hoped Bella was with him.

The relief that I felt when I got her in my sights, words just cannot describe. It was like the missing part of me had been returned. Was it crazy I felt like this about a woman I had known only a few months. Yeah it probably was, and I had never been a believer in love at first sight, but being with Bella made me want to believe.

I sidled up beside her, unable to resist putting my arm around her waist. Her Dad watched us, or rather me, but I suppose when he saw Bella hadn't reacted to my gesture, he let it go, continuing his conversation with Sue. I wasn't sure why Bella hadn't or never reacted when I slipped an arm around her, she simply accepted it, as though this was the most natural action in the world. That alone gave me hope.

"I'm nervous." She whispered to me.

I knew exactly what she was referring to. She had never fully made her decision, flitting from one to the other depending on how the mood struck her at the time. This was a big deal for her, and she had often stated she would have to do it without any Dutch courage. It didn't matter how many times I tried to convince her that no matter what, no one would be angry if she decided against it, and the only people that truly mattered were Alice and Jasper, she was still convinced she would ruin it for them.

"It'll be fine baby, I promise." I tried to soothe her. "You don't have to decide now, you can just see how you feel when it's time."

I would never tell her, but I really wanted her to do it too. After spending a full afternoon with both Jasper and Alice, they had both declared they didn't care what song Bella sang, so long as she was happy singing it. This obviously hadn't helped me, and I had to force them into narrowing the list I had down. I wouldn't necessarily called it narrowing it down when they only removed around ten songs from a thirty strong list. In the end, I had picked a few and sat with her as she sang a few verses from each, trying to figure out which sounded the best. I have to say, she rocked them all, but the one we had jointly decided on, was not only perfect for Jasper and Alice, but Bella sounded perfect singing it.

I was sure she wasn't convinced, but the subject was dropped, instead we tuned in to Sue dropping major hints to both Seth and Alec that it was about time they got married, and started giving her grand-babies. I was sure she mainly did it to see them squirm, but I could also see her point. It was the next natural step for the two, they had been together since we were nineteen. Hell I wasn't even sure whether gay marriages were even allowed in Washington, and I doubted whether they knew either. It had never been something I had needed to look into. Sue probably knew though, she had practically declared the moment she met Alec, that he would be her family one day, and if she had her way, it would be sooner rather than later.

An hour dragged by slowly before the meal was announced. Expecting myself to have to part from Bella, I was rather please to see that Alice had arranged the seating so that our table of eight consisted of myself and Bella, Charlie, Sue, Emmett, Rose, Seth and Alec. I hadn't been expecting to sit at the top table, since Alice had only wanted parents sitting up there, but I had at the very least expected to be sat with the rest of the wedding party. I currently loved my sister.

After eating came the speeches. Since Jasper had chosen to have both Emmett and I as best men, it had been up to the two of us, who should give the speech. Figuring Alice would kill or at the very least physically harm us if we over stepped boundaries, I declared quickly that since Emmett was her biggest Brother, he should give the speech. He was either very brave, or hadn't counted on the many ways Alice was capable of torture. I pretty much figured it was the latter. But either way, since I had given the speech at his wedding to Rose, and I would undoubtedly have Em and Jasper as my best men whenever I got married, I thought I would at least give him the opportunity to give one.

"As you are probably aware, both Edward and I are Jasper's best men, clearly being I'm the better of the two, I'm giving the speech." Emmett started, grinning at me stupidly as a few chuckles emitted around the room. "So I firstly want to start off by wishing my Brother in law all the luck in the world, because, Jazz, man you're going to need it with Pixie there." Oh Alice was going to maim him. "Secondly, I have some advice for you. One being that you should lower the credit limit on all your cards, two, you should never, and I do mean never, give her access to your cards, girl can burn plastic faster than it takes for her brain to register that there's a sale on at Bloomingdales and three, learn fast that when she's giving the evil eye like she's doing me right now, you need to start running." The whole room burst into laughter. "But in all seriousness, we wish you a long and happy life together. We love you baby Sis." I stood beside him and raised my glass toward the two of them. "To Alice and Jasper."

Yeah Alice still looked like she was going to kill Em, but at least after the quick save at the end, she didn't look as though she was going to drag the murder out.

Once the speeches were over. And the desert plates were taken away, we were left to talk amongst ourselves, a few guests wandering the room to mingle. Alice and Jasper began a circuit of the room, Alice giving Emmett a well placed smack to the back of the head as she passed by, causing further laughter as he shrugged it off and grinned widely, giving me the impression that he knew exactly what he had been doing all along.

"Edward." Bella whispered, touching my arm to gain my attention. "I'm gonna do it."

"Are you sure?" Such a stupid question I know, but it was the first thing that slipped out.

"Yeah, but as soon as possible before I change my mind."

"They should be about ready to anyway, but I'll go let Alice know ok." I told her. "I'll be right back." I gave her a quick kiss on the cheek as I disappeared toward Alice.

I gathered both Alice and Jasper's attention, and headed to the side of the room, waiting for them to excuse themselves to join me. They both looked a little nervous as to why I had wanted to talk to them, but my responding smile relaxed them quickly.

"Bella's decided she's gonna sing for you guys, but she wants to do it as soon as possible before she loses her nerve." I told them. "Can we do it in the next fifteen or so minutes. We've gotta go get set up with the DJ first?"

They both agreed that the timing was fine, considering the DJ should be all set up, and everyone's stomachs should have settled by now after the meal, so there was no excuse for them to not get up and dance after they had, had their first dance. As I headed to collect Bella, Alice and Jasper headed off separately in order to speak to most of the guests before their dance.

"Ok, let's go." I leant over the back of Bella's chair, whispering in her ear.

She excused herself from the table, taking my hand and following me through the crowd of people toward the side of the stage. We were stopped a few times by older members of the family, wanting to be introduced to Bella. More like find out who she was and wondering what her ties to Alice and Jasper were, as well as myself since we were hand in hand.

We finally made it to the DJ, who told Bella that the microphone he had tested earlier on in the day, would be in the mike stand right next to the stool I was going to sit on. The deal I had made with Bella was that, whilst she was going to sing, I would sit beside her and play the guitar along with the backing music. I can't say it was going to be the easiest song to strum along to, since all I had was my acoustic, and there was a little more bass in the song. But I didn't care, I was doing it for Bella, to make sure she was as comfortable up there as I could get her.

We ran through the last few minute details, or rather both myself and the DJ did, as Bella stood there, looking as nervous as ever. I was seriously at this point, considering telling the guy to just play the damn song, and drag Bella back to our seats, when Bella climbed up onto the edge of the stage, which thankfully wasn't too high.

Both myself and Bella took our places, already seeing a few guests turn their attention to us. I positioned my stool so that I would constantly be in Bella's sight, and if she chose to, I could be the only thing she focused on.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I am pleased to present the new Mr. and Mrs Whitlock in their first dance." The DJ announced.

Guests began clapping gently as Alice and Jasper took their place in each other's arms in the middle of the dance floor. The music started and I began strumming along with it, having spent many hours practising for this moment.

"I pinch myself sometimes to make sure I'm not in a dream  
That's how it seems  
I close my eyes and breathe in the sweetest moments I've ever known  
It feels like home  
And here I am I want to be your everything  
There you are  
Turning winter into spring,"

Bella's voice was truly amazing. She hit every note perfectly. For the most part, she focused on either myself, Jasper and Alice or my Mom who was stood on the edge of the dance floor with my Dad's arms wrapped around her. I had purposely asked her to stand there, where Bella could see a friendly face.

"And everyone who sees you  
Always want's to know you  
And everyone who knows you  
Always have a smile  
You're a standing ovation after years of waiting  
For a chance to finally shine  
Everyone calls you amazing  
Yeah  
I just call you mine,"

I chanced a look toward the guests when Bella's attention turned from myself to Jasper and Alice. They all seemed torn as to who they wanted to focus the most on. I myself was torn, wanting to enjoy my baby Sister's first dance, but not wanting to take my eyes from Bella.

"I fall apart  
Just a word from you just somehow seems to fix  
Whatever's wrong  
Oh, you reach into the weakest moments  
And remind me that I'm strong  
You've got to know  
I'd be a fool not to see you or even worse  
To forget that you're more than I deserve,"

I actually begun to wonder whether I was more pulled into choosing this song because it fit myself and Bella so well, or whether it truly was because I felt sure it was the perfect song for Jasper and Alice. Either way, the lyrics seemed to personify exactly what I felt toward Bella.

"Cause everyone who sees you  
Always want's to know you  
And everyone who knows you  
Always have a smile  
You're a standing ovation after years of waiting  
For a chance to finally shine  
Everyone calls you amazing  
I just call you mine,"

My eyes caught Bella's, and I suddenly seemed to lose myself in her chocolate orbs for a moment. It almost felt as though she was actually singing to me, and not for Jasper and Alice.

"Nothing makes sense when you're not here  
As if my whole world disappears  
Without you what's the point of it,"

Never a truer words spoken, or rather sung in this case. But those three lines summed up everything I felt for Bella.

"Cause everyone who sees you  
Always want's to know you  
And everyone who knows you  
Always have a smile  
You're the dream that I've been chasin' after years of waiting  
For a chance to finally shine  
Everyone calls you amazing  
I just call you mine  
Everyone calls you amazing  
I just call you mine,"

The moment Bella sung the last word, and the last chord of music had played, the whole room burst into applause. Granted I knew some of it if not most of it was for Jasper and Alice, but after Bella had wowed the crowd, she deserved that and more.

Placing my guitar down so it leant against the stool I had sat on, I grasped Bella's hand and lead the way from the stage, where we were both immediately engulfed in a hug by Alice and Jasper. Alice had tears streaming down her cheeks, and I knew it was in awe of what Bella had just done for her. As I was hugging my Sister, Jasper pulled Bella into him, holding her close into his chest and whispering something into her ear that made her laugh and nod. This was just another instance that proved to me perfect she was. She fit so flawlessly in with my family, it was unreal.

The DJ took back over quickly, though honestly I paid little attention, as both Bella and myself, though I wasn't sure why I was, congratulated on such a wonderful song. I didn't fail to notice though Charlie and Bella's hug, and the wetness in Charlie's eyes as he pulled her into him. Maybe I was over thinking it, but it just seemed a little odd that it would bring a man such as Charlie close to tears. Bella had told me time and time again, that Charlie just wasn't the kind of man to be so forth coming with his emotions. I definitely had to be thinking too much about it.

"Thank you." Bella reached for my hand and pulled me into a light hug.

"You are more than welcome." I grinned cheekily at her.

Bella returned to the table where her family were sat, whilst I was pulled in every direction, speaking with family members that I hadn't already spoken to, some of whom I had know idea who they were. Thankfully though, as the dance floor began warming up, there were fewer people who seemed interested in me.

I met up with Emmett at the bar, who seemed just as frazzled as I felt. He pushed his beer toward me, before calling for one of the bar tenders to grab him another one. We both turned and faced the rest of the room, watching the group of women surround Alice, all wanting to tell her their opinions of the day. Equally Jasper seemed to be having his cheeks pinched to within an inch of his life, by the older members of his family. My parents had separated as they made their way around the room, taking the time to talk to the guests.

"So Eddie, that's two down, one to go." Emmett teased.

"So it would seem." I really was trying my hardest not to bite to his teasing comments.

"Oh c'mon, please tell me you're gonna tell her how you feel sometime this century." He was practically pleading.

"I don't know, soon I guess." I replied, though I didn't want to tell him how soon.

Just thinking about Bella, I sought her out in the room, finding her dancing with Seth, Alec and Rose. The four of them looked to be having an amazing time. She looked so carefree and happy.

I was about to down the rest of my beer and head toward them, when the DJ announced that it was time for the Father-Daughter dance. The dance floor immediately cleared, as Alice and my Dad joined together in the middle of the dance floor. A version of the first time ever I saw your face, began to play, and I recognised the artist as being a young British woman called Leona Lewis, that I remember Bella had played for us all one evening a few weeks ago. It wasn't a traditional Father-Daughter dance song, but it seemed to fit so well, and it was sung so beautifully.

Both Emmett and I, made our way toward my Mom, who was stood watching the dance, tears in her eyes. We sandwiched her between us, neither of us really understanding how she felt today, seeing her little girl get married. I looked up and caught sight of Bella. Her Dad had wrapped her into a hug and they swayed gently in time with the music. I couldn't help but hope that one day, she would be doing this dance for real with him, and I would be stood much like Jasper was now, watching my new wife proudly.

As soon as the song was over, I made my way over to her, and asked her for a dance. She nodded slowly, though playfully warned me that she was not going to be held responsible for any broken toes I may gain from our spin around the floor. We danced for more than one song, until Emmett butted in, swapping partners with me, as I took Rose for a spin. We laughed as Emmett practically picked Bella up in the air and danced around the room as though he was a ballroom dancer, spinning in circles. If it hadn't been for the peels of laughter erupting from Bella, I would have been afraid that she would throw up from the constant spinning.

Toward the end of the evening, I think I had danced with every member of my family, including Sue, who after complaining to Bella and I that Charlie seemed to have two left feet, I offered to give her toes a breather. Bella and her Dad danced beside us, where they both seemed to trip over each other, though were constantly laughing about it, until Charlie lifted Bella onto his own feet and swayed steadily with her. It seemed to save both of their feet a little pain.

The bouquet was tossed, and I have to admit that I felt a little disappointed that Bella hadn't caught it, but after seeing three of my cousins come away with scratches from the battle for the damn flowers, I was actually relieved Bella hadn't been caught up in the middle of it. Before Jasper retrieved the garter, I noticed Alice talking to the DJ and immediately knew she was up to something. She sat on the chair in the middle of the floor, looking every bit an innocent new bride, except I knew different. Jasper crawled under her dress, reappearing moments later with Alice's blue garter between his teeth. He flung it toward the group of men including myself, only for it to get caught on the chandelier, the whole room erupting in laughter at the predicament. No-one however made a rush to collect it. Not that there was much point since it was so high up. I kind of hoped it would go unnoticed until the next wedding that was held here.

The moment it had been tossed, Rihanna's song rude boy blasted from the speaker, as Alice quickly stood, grabbing Jasper's tie and pushing him to sit in the chair. She immediately began to give him, a thankfully tame lap dance, cheers flying around the room as both Alice and Jasper got more into it. I can't say it was something I wanted to see my little Sister do, but it was so hilarious, and a completely Alice move.

After the excitement had died down somewhat, I made my own request to the DJ for a song for Bella and I to dance to. Stealing her from my Dad before the song started, I danced us into a corner of the dance floor, where there was a little more privacy I suppose, not that there was much to begin with. Elton John's there's something about the way you look tonight began to play softly as I held her close to me, hoping the song told her everything I seemed to struggle to tell her. Bella melted into me, swaying with me. I chanced a look around the room, seeing that we were going unnoticed, as quite a few other couples had joined the floor for such a lovely song, even Sue and Charlie were swaying with each other lovingly.

I couldn't help myself, as the last few words were sung, and the last notes were played, I leant in toward her, and pressed my lips to hers.

**EEEEEEE! We have a public kiss. Damn it's about time. Though I still think Edward is more than worth the wait. I hope you guys liked it. Please leave me some feedback and let me know your thoughts, and as usual, there's a teaser for every review :D :D :D :D**


	25. Someday

Disclaimer : I don't own anything except for the plot so please don't sue

_Here it is, the long awaited chapter **:D** So again, huge thank yous to my reviewers – **Blueeyesburning**,**Biloxi22**, **Linz832**, **Bandeforever16**, **Molly** and **VelvetWhispers** you guys are proper amazing **:D :D :D :D**_

**Chapter 25**

_How the hell'd we wind up like this?  
Why weren't we able  
To see the signs that we missed  
And try an' turn the tables?_

Now the story's played out like this  
Just like a paperback novel  
Let's rewrite an ending that fits  
Instead of a Hollywood horror

Nothin's wrong  
Just as long as you know that someday I will

Someday, somehow  
Gonna make it alright but not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
(You're the only one who knows that)

_Nickelback - Someday_

My whole body ached with exhaustion. My head pounded like there were a million sledgehammers banging away up there. My eyes felt swollen shut and stung through the dryness of them. I wanted nothing more than to turn over and go back to sleep. Sleep for days on end, snuggled up in the duvet. The pixie jumping on the bed beside me, had other ideas however.

I wonder if anyone would blame me for killing her on the first official day of her honeymoon?

In my sleep induced haze, I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she wasn't currently in bed with Jasper. It was the morning after her wedding. She had gone to bed just as late as I had, and it was fairly obvious that she hadn't gone to her room with Jasper to sleep. It was their wedding night for God's sake.

"Alice, bounce one more time on this bed, I promise I will throw up in your honeymoon suitcase." I threatened, hoping it would come across as a true threat rather than an idle one.

"You wouldn't dare." Alice gasped, though from the lack of movement, I assumed it was maybe a theory she wasn't fully prepared to test right now.

"Maybe, maybe not." I replied, sitting up in bed and staring at her. "Why are you here?" I asked grumpily. "Shouldn't you still be in bed with Jasper getting your rocks off." Even I recognised the hint of jealousy in my tone.

Yes, having seen her get married the day before, and having been surrounded by couples for the full day, I had been left feeling jealous, and well to put it bluntly, rather horny. Add in the final dance I had, had with Edward that ended in a kiss, it was very safe to say, I was more than sexually frustrated.

The whole dance with Edward had been wonderful. I had never felt so connected with another person before. It was as though the whole room just drifted away, leaving the two of us swaying gently, in our own little private bubble. I had wanted it to never end. And then when it did, it was like all my dreams had come true. Here he was, Edward Cullen, willingly kissing me in front of all his family, and mine. In the whole thirty seconds we were kissing, I allowed my hopes to be raised, thinking this was his way of telling me he wanted the exact same thing as I did.

It hadn't been until we had pulled apart, and I had seen no-one had noticed our little lip lock, and Edward was pretty much pulled away to say goodbye to some relative, that I felt utterly deflated. This had been the third time he had kissed me, and I was still none the wiser as to why he kept doing it. He had been the one to initiate every kiss we had shared, but it felt like we were stuck in some kind of limbo. But it was becoming brutally obvious that one way or another, he had to admit any feelings he had for me, or he simply had to stop with the kissing. It wasn't fair to either of us.

It broke my heart a little, that I had, had to spend the final dance of the evening in Emmett's arms, since Edward had yet to reappear and Rose was sat talking to her elderly Aunt and Uncle. I was one of the last few to leave with my Dad, Sue, Seth and Alec. Edward still missing, so Alec and Seth escorted me back to our suite. Not wanting to stick around and face Edward while I still felt so vulnerable, I headed to my room, and immediately stripped out of my dress and rushed through my nightly routine, before climbing into bed. If Edward had returned to the room, I wasn't aware of it, which only made my chest ache more for him.

Sleep had initially come easily, but after only an hour or so of sleep, I was woken by screaming voices coming through the open window. After that, sleep was hard to come by, my brain never fully shutting off. The last time I remembered seeing on the beside clock was five am, which probably explained my grouchiness toward Alice, even though it was now nearing eleven am.

"Come on sleepy head, we're all meeting for brunch." She was entirely too cheerful. "Check out is in half an hour."

"WHITLOCK!" I heard Rose shout from the main room. "Get your butt out here and leave the poor girl alone to wake up."

Have I ever mentioned how much I love Rose?

I drowned out Alice's responded remark, as she did in fact leave me alone to get up. Half an hour was more than enough time to grab a quick shower and get dressed, since my bag had only really carried items I had needed for the previous day.

I got all the way through my morning routine without throwing up, which was different, and unexpected. Maybe it was because I couldn't smell any food, or had tried eating anything yet, but there was hope that I was finally coming to the end of my morning sickness stage. I could only hope.

Grabbing my overnight bag and the garment bag my dress was in, I made my way out to the living room, to find Rose, Emmett, Jasper and Alice sat waiting for me. Edward again was no where to be seen. Jasper being the closest to me, darted up from his seat, and made to take the bags from me, laughing as I put up some resistance, before relinquishing them with a sigh.

"Edward, c'mon man, we're ready." Emmett hollered.

"I'm coming." Was the responding call.

"That's what she said." Both Jasper and Emmett replied instinctively.

Knowing Edward was about to walk into the room, I felt the tension in my body rise. I felt like I didn't know how to act around him. We hadn't had a chance to talk about what had happened between us last night. Were things going to be any different than before, or would he act like nothing had happened. I didn't like the unknown.

"Oh hey, you ok, you slept kinda late?" Edward's velvet voice assaulted my senses as he arrived into the room.

"Hey. Yeah, I'm fine. Just tired." I replied.

I didn't want to bring more attention to my lack of sleep than absolutely necessary. They already fussed over me enough as it was, and I certainly wasn't going to admit that Edward's kiss and lack of presence had bothered me.

"Well, let's get moving, I'm starving." Emmett announced loudly.

Alice grabbed for Jaspers free hand, as he carried my bags from the room. I felt awful that he was carrying my things for me when I was more than capable of doing so. I followed the newly married couple from the room, hearing Emmett grumbling to Rose about how hungry he was. Edward it seemed had reverted back to the whole avoiding me thing we had been doing the week previous. All I knew was, I couldn't cope with another week like that again. But if this was what was going to happen every time something like this happened between us, then maybe it would be best if I moved out, and we stopped spending so much time together.

The whole ride down to the lobby in the elevator, I felt awkward, tense. I played on my phone, hoping and praying none of the others would pick up on my mood, or the obvious lack of communication between Edward and I. I knew it would only be a matter of time before they did, since we were usually as thick as thieves when we were together.

Walking into the lobby, I was amazed to find my Dad and Sue, Seth and Alec along with Carlisle and Esme and Peter and Charlotte, all seemingly waiting for us to join them. A bell boy came and retrieved the bags from both Jasper and Edward. It appeared that we were all having brunch together. As we were waiting for our table, Edward sidled up beside me, and as childish as it was, I stepped away, toward my Dad and Sue, pulling them both into a conversation about what their plans were for the rest of the day. It was childish and spiteful and I hated myself for it, but I just couldn't pretend that everything was ok between us when it wasn't. And I certainly wasn't going to act like it just because we were around family. Before my Dad and Sue could reply, I caught a strong aroma that turned my stomach.

"Oh shit." I groaned, clamping my hand over my mouth and dashing back toward the lobby where I had last seen signs for the bathrooms.

I heard everyone call after me, and the distinct sounds of Alice and Rose dashing after me, though everything was forgotten the moment I made it into the bathrooms, collapsing in front of the toilet, and heaving. And here I was thinking I had gotten away with the morning sickness today.

"Bell, you ok." Rose asked softly, hovering just behind me, since I hadn't had time to close the stall door.

"Yeah." I groaned, reaching for some toilet paper to wipe my mouth. "I suppose I should be grateful that Pip allowed me to wake up, before making me sick." I joked, as I clambered to my feet.

I rinsed my mouth out at the sink, and tidied myself up, before Rose gave me a sympathetic hug, and lead me back to where our family were waiting. They each made entirely too big a deal over my morning sickness. My Dad looked beside himself with worry, until I latched myself onto his arm and walked into the restaurant to where we were shown our table. Edward managed to catch me eye, his whole expression screaming concern. Not wanting to be a bitch, I forced a smile toward him and mouthed that I was fine.

I somehow found myself sat between Carlisle and Jasper, directly opposite Edward, who looked somewhat placated after my smile, but still managed to look troubled, though I fought against the urge to reassure him everything was ok between us, because as far as I was concerned, there was nothing ok between us any more. For too long now we had walked that fine line between a romantic relationship and a friendship.

The waiter arrived, breaking me away from my Edward induced thoughts. And man was he good looking. Granted Edward was better, but wow, he was like a younger version of Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise and George Clooney all rolled into one. I managed to hold myself together long enough to give him my order, trying my hardest not to let my voice pitch raise higher than normal. I felt like a giddy teenager, my girly bits tingling with excitement. Hmm he definitely was good looking, and I even noticed both Rose and Alice shamefully checking him out. I would have laughed had I not done the same exact thing only mere seconds ago. The guys at the table it seemed were completely oblivious to Mr. Gorgeous waiter, reeling off their orders without barely looking at the poor guy. Had it been a woman though, it would have been completely different.

"So Dad, you were saying, before Pip interrupted us?" I turned to my Dad who was sat beside Edward.

"Oh yeah, well, me and Sue are staying with Seth and Alec tonight. After the late start today, and since neither of us get to Seattle very often, we're going to do some sightseeing, before heading back to Forks in the morning."

Wow, I seriously couldn't believe my ears. My Dad, willingly staying in Seattle longer than necessary. I honestly felt like asking him who he was and what he had done with the real Charles Swan.

It was nice though that they were going to do the whole tourist thing. It had been years since he had taken in the sights of Seattle. In fact, if memory served me right, I was probably about ten years old, and for my birthday I had wanted to go to the zoo. We had spent the day wandering around the zoo, and then we went to the space needle, before heading home. It had been a great day.

"Sounds fun." I replied enthusiastically.

"Well, we were hoping you would want to come. You know, spend some time with the old man." He added, though it was much quieter than his previous comment, almost like he was embarrassed to be asking me. "You too Edward, that is if you don't have anything planned."

Yesterday, I would have jumped at the chance for Edward to come with us, but now, I wasn't so sure I could spend the whole day in his presence, especially considering we had so much air to clear, and by going with them, it would give us none before we were due to leave. I could just imagine all the awkwardness all day. But, at the same time, I also wanted him to come, I still wanted to be around him, I still craved his presence.

Before he had chance to answer, the waiter reappeared with our order, and my attention quickly reverted to his good looks. I couldn't help myself from holding my breath as he placed each plate in front of the person who had ordered it, his biceps bulging slightly under the crisp white shirt he was wearing. When he came to me, I had to practically force myself to smile politely at him, and mumble a quiet thank you.

Holy hell was he hot. What I wouldn't give for just five minutes alone in the kitchen with him.

As he walked away, I leant back in my chair so I was balancing on it's too legs, to enable me to watch his exit, since Jasper was blocking my view. Boy had a damn fine ass too. What I hadn't realized, was, I had pushed myself so far back that I was beginning to loose my balance. I let out a high pitched yelp, my arms flailing in an attempt to grab the edge of the table to reel myself forward. It all felt as though it was happening in slow motion, my hands not reaching, and my resigning myself to hit the floor.

"Whoa." Carlisle's arm whipped around, grabbing the arm of my chair trying to steady me.

Jasper too had reacted speedily and wrapped his arm around the back of my chair, forcing me to return the chair to it's four legs.

I could feel everyone's eyes watching me. Most in amusement, some of concern, and one pair in particular looked murderous.

"You ok Bella?" Jasper asked me, his arm still wrapped around my back.

"I'm ok, I'm good, I'm fine." I stuttered.

I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks. As though my actual actions weren't enough to embarrass me, now my damn blush was sure to give me away. I caught Rose and Alice's eyes, both looking to be trying to hide their hysterics, obviously knowing exactly what I was checking out.

"Nice choice sweetheart." Esme suddenly spoke.

Emmett, who had just taken a drink of water, spat it out quickly and began choking, My Dad dropped his forkful of eggs, and Sue just smiled knowingly. Everyone else was positively stunned by Esme's comment, myself included.

"Ma." Edward complained.

"Oh hush up." Esme playfully scolded him. "It could be worse, she could be ogling ugly men."

At this point I really wanted the ground to swallow me up whole. Clearly my checking out the hot waiter hadn't gone as unnoticed as I thought, or hoped. My cheeks were flaming, as I sunk further and further into the chair, praying for someone to make me invisible.

"Uh, Esme, honey, I don't think that was the point Edward was trying to make." Carlisle tried reasoning.

"Oh please." Esme scoffed. "Finding the opposite sex attractive is a natural part of being pregnant. Heaven knows why."

I really could not believe we were having this conversation, and over breakfast no less. Whilst admittedly, what Esme was saying was true, I had read and been made aware that feeling more attracted to men was a part of pregnancy, it wasn't something I had ever planned to discuss with anyone except maybe Angela, Rose and Alice. What made it worse, much, much worse was having my Dad sitting in on it too.

"If I remember correctly, you men seem to enjoy taking advantage of that particular part of pregnancy." Charlotte joined in.

From beside me, I heard Jasper groan. Granted Peter and Charlotte weren't his biological parents, but nevertheless, they were his parents, and hearing them acknowledge their sex lives in front of you was something akin to a horror film.

"So uh, Chief Swan, where were you thinking of visiting?" Edward asked.

Now I might still be a little angry with Edward for his behaviour as of late, but right now, he was my saviour. I wasn't sure whether he was attempting to change the subject to save me from dying of embarrassment, or due to wanting to end his own disturbance. Either way, I was very grateful. Now all I needed was for my normally completely oblivious Dad, to catch on to what he was doing, and go along with it.

"We were thinking the aquarium, the space needle, and maybe Pike place." Sue told him.

God I loved Sue right now.

"Yeah, sure sounds good, I'm in."Edward agreed.

Thankfully the change in subject seemed to have worked, as everyone else began discussing their plans for the day. All the Cullen's, bar Edward it now seemed, were planning on spending the day with Rose and Jasper's parents, before they returned to Spokane later. It seemed their Sister had already returned earlier this morning, but I only caught part of the explanation which was something to do with having to go back for work reasons, I think.

"Well, I think that maybe in a few weeks, we should all head out to Forks for the weekend." Alice announced loudly, as the breakfast plates were taken away, thankfully by a waitress this time.

This was one conversation I had been dreading from day one. There was noway I could sit here now and decline any invitation. It would be far too obvious if I did, and I wasn't sure now was the time or the place to be discussing the reasons for my staying away.

"Yeah, Bells can show us her home turf." Emmett declared, far too excited for my liking.

"Uh, yeah... maybe... sure." I replied, trying to be as nonchalant as possibly.

"Honey, won't you want to spend the last few days of your honeymoon alone with Jasper." Esme looked at me apologetically.

"We can have some alone time in Forks." She argued.

Yep, Alice's mind was made up. She wanted to go to Forks, and there was no-one that was going to stand of in the way of her plans. I could only hope now, that with the help of Angela, that I could come up with some excuse to get me out of it.

As we walked out of the restaurant, Esme caught up to me, linking her arm with my own. To the rest of our party it simply looked as though we were walking and talking together. In actual fact, she was trying to reassure me, that she would try to put Alice off, from her intended visit to Forks. I was grateful for Esme's understanding of my reluctance, and for the first time, in it seemed forever, I was actually thankful she knew why I was.

I wanted to give her my own reassurance that everything would be fine, and not to worry about it, but I couldn't. I felt guilty for her having to worry about her own family going to a home they bought to spend time in, but so far, all she had done, was postpone impending visits in order to keep me from being uncomfortable.

We parted with a hug, our two groups heading in separate directions, though with plans to meet up later that evening for a drink at Joe's to see the happy couple off, as they were leaving on their honeymoon the following day.

I could feel Edward watching me curiously, and I knew he was wondering what had been transpiring between Esme and I. It seemed to be every time Forks was mentioned, that he watched me curiously. He was trying to figure it all out, and who could blame him. I suppose as Esme had often suggested, I should just tell them all. I wanted to, I really did, I just could never find the words, along with the fact it wasn't exactly a subject I liked talking about. I don't know why I wasn't more open about it, I mean it wasn't like it was this huge secret, it was just something I hated reliving.

I wasn't given much chance to dwell on my thoughts, as I was quickly stuffed in the back of Sue's minivan, right beside Edward. Seth was playfully arguing with Sue as to what sights we should go and see first. Sue's winning response was, that she was the driver, therefore she decided where we went. Seth had groaned about her using that line, since it was the one she had always resorted to as he and Leah were growing up.

"Are you ok?" Edward asked me quietly, clearly so as not to be heard over the discussion going on.

"I'm fine." I replied, forcing a smile.

I was far from fine, but I wasn't about to admit that I wasn't and make everyone's day miserable. I also didn't want to make Edward feel like shit, regardless of his behaviour over the last day or so, I hadn't forgotten all that he and his family had done for me, as well as the fact that no matter what, I would always see him as a friend. I couldn't even say I blamed him totally, I had played an equal part in all of this. Each time he had kissed me, I could have put a stop to it at any time. But no, I had been so caught up in my feelings for him, allowing myself to believe this was his way of saying he wanted me. Now I wasn't so sure of that. Of course I knew there was a reason for his doing so, but kissing wasn't exactly a marriage proposal or a road to 'happily ever after', was it.

I don't think I concentrated on anything throughout the day. My mind was a whirlwind of activity, considering my options through my confusion. On more than one occasion, Edward had asked me if I was ok, or thrown looks of concern my way. Even my Dad had at one point asked me, but I guess unlike Edward, he bought the excuse that I was just tired, or hungry. It really is amazing that when you're pregnant no-one seems to question you claim of hunger, even though mere minutes ago you just ate.

By the time we arrived at Joe's, I was seriously beginning to lag though. We had walked all around the aquarium, climbed to the top of the space needle, and walked around Pike Place Market. My feet were killing me, and Jesus, if I didn't just want a glass of wine. I sat heavily in a seat between Edward and Emmett, so very tempted to make Emmett give me a foot rub.

"I swear, this is the last time I play tourist when pregnant." I moaned. "Oh Nachos!" I exclaimed, as a waitress placed a basket in front of Emmett.

"I'm not surprised you're tired B, with all that extra baggage you're carrying around with ya." Seth joked.

"Are you saying I'm fat?" I asked, not at all offended, but pretending to be. "Oh my God, I am aren't I?" I spat my nacho out into a napkin.

"SETH!" Rose scolded him. "No, Bella, sweetie, you aren't fat." She soothed me, though thankfully did catch my wink.

"I am. My pants are already getting tight, I'm going to be like a beached whale." I sobbed.

"Huh, oh B, I... well.. I didn't... shit..." Seth stuttered.

"Seth, Jesus." Edward hissed, turning his body to face me. "Baby, you are nowhere near fat."

"I am, oh my God, I'm gonna have to get a bigger chair to sit my fat ass in at work." A tear actually fell from my eye, though in all honesty, it probably more from humour than upset.

"B, no... I'm... I'm sorry B..." Seth had visibly paled, I almost felt bad for the poor guy.

"Here we..." Alice approached the table with a tray full of drinks. "Bella... sweetie what's wrong?" She stormed around the table, pushing herself between Edward and I.

"Bella?" My Dad's very worried voice stopped me from telling her.

"What's wrong honey?" Sue asked.

"I'm getting fat!" I cried. "I'm gonna be a heifer." Wow, even I was starting to believe me.

"Where on Earth did you get that idea?" Sue asked me softly.

"Seth." Rose snapped, glaring daggers at poor Seth.

"Seth Nathaniel Clearwater!" Sue scolded him, actually making him cower away from her.

"Wha... I... I didn't say..."

"Boy, do I need to go home and get my gun." My Dad warned.

"I didn't say you... I didn't say she was fat."

At this point, I had, had enough fun, and sat back in my seat, reaching across Emmett for is basket of nachos, and began snacking on them, with a huge smile plastered on my face.

"You... you!" Seth pointed at me, finally figuring it out.

"Yep." I smiled, popping another nacho in my mouth. "That'll teach you not to insinuate pregnant women are fat." I told him, Rose too beginning to struggle to fight her laughter. "And it's also revenge for earlier when you told me the shark tank was leaking, you big jerk." After a few moments everyone bar Seth chuckled.

"Well played Swan... well played." He finally chuckled.

I knew there would be a time in the not too distant future when I did actually begin to worry about my weight. It was only natural, but I also knew that the little amount of weight I would gain, would be nothing that going to the gym for a few months, and eating healthily couldn't sort out for me. I had always been blessed I suppose in the sense that I could eat just about anything and never really gain much. Besides I had been told time and time again, that the best thing about pregnancy was being able to eat what I wanted and when I wanted, and since I wasn't getting the amazing gift at the end, I was going to enjoy it.

It was around midnight when Edward and I walked into the apartment. For the last hour I had been leaning against Emmett and Edward in turn, my eyes getting heavier and heavier as the minutes passed. After the long day, the day before, followed by an almost fun day of sight seeing and another late night, all I wanted was to crawl into bed. I had originally planned to use the first opportunity I had of Edward and I being alone to sort everything out, but right now, I just didn't have the energy, despite hating having to put it off for yet another day.

"Good night." I murmured, heading straight for my room as Edward locked up.

"Night Baby." He replied.

It wasn't until I got into my room that Edward's words registered. He had called me Baby. And it hadn't been the first time either. Now I really thought about it, he had been calling me Baby, for some time. I had never really picked up on it, but now it had come to my attention, it was as clear as day. I actually couldn't remember a time he hadn't called me Baby, or at the very least another word of endearment.

It didn't bother me that he was calling me Baby. What bothered me, was the reason behind it. Friends didn't go around calling friends names like Baby, or Love, or anything else like that. So why was he calling it me? Did he even know he was calling me Baby?

As my thoughts consumed me, once again, the need for sleep slowly drifted from my body. I was more awake now, than I had been all day. I just couldn't work it all out. Did he have feelings for me? Did it matter if he did? Did he plan on ever telling me or acting on his feelings other than kissing me occasionally? Everything was such a mess. And I had let it get this way.

Did it matter that my feelings for Edward, were possibly reciprocated? At this point I honestly didn't think so. If I was right about his feeling for me, his actions showed me nothing but doubt. And why shouldn't he doubt his feelings. I was. Maybe it wasn't his feelings that he was in doubt of, maybe it was the situation as a whole. And who could blame the guy. I was pregnant with his Brother's baby. If I was Edward, I would have probably run a mile by now.

When I had agreed to be Emmett and Rose's surrogate, I had known that I was going to be putting my own life on hold for about a year. It hadn't really bothered me too much . Most guys didn't want to date pregnant women anyhow, so it wasn't like I was going to be batting them away left, right and centre. But now Edward was in the picture, yeah it did bother me slightly. Of course it did. But there was very little I could do about it now.

As the clock continued ticking by, one hour after the other, my thoughts didn't let up. I went from one extreme to the other, first thinking that if Edward felt the same, we really could make a go of it, which was quickly followed by the train of thought that he couldn't possibly feel the same. Everyone got a little emotional at weddings. Which obviously didn't explain the other kisses, but I argued with myself over whether it was jealousy on his behalf over his family all being paired off. There were no rhyme or reason to my thoughts, so much so, that even I was confusing myself.

It was after four am, that I finally gave up on the hope of sleep, climbing out of bed and going to make myself a mug of hot chocolate, knowing full well nothing at this point was going to help me sleep, but since coffee was definitely out, there were few options.

While I was waiting for the milk to warm, I became captivated by the view from the window. I had never really took much time to appreciate the gorgeous skyline before. Off into the distance over the tops of other apartment and office buildings, you could see the deep black of the Sound, and even now in the middle of May, I could imagine how cold it would be. With my drink finally in hand, I placed myself on one of the dining room chairs, and continued taking in the view, letting my mind wander through my thoughts, but finally being able to not allow them to consume me.

Slowly but surely, the sun began to rise, and noise from the street below got louder and busier. My hot chocolate was long since drunk, but I hadn't moved, except for when I had grabbed one of Edward's hoodies that had been draped over the back of one of the other chairs, when I had gotten a slight chill. As well as warming me, the hoodie smelt of pure Edward, which was in my opinion one of the most exquisite smells ever. It was raw and masculine, musky, with maybe a hint of pine, which I could only assume was from the detergent he used. Just his smell was enough to intoxicate me, even going as far as imagining that it was Edward wrapped around me.

At that point, I knew I had very few options on how to proceed. I could no longer find the strength within me to be with him, but not be with him. Yet I knew it was also stupid of me to think there could ever be an us, whilst ever I was pregnant, maybe even ever, regardless of what Rose and Alice may think. I finally came to the conclusion, that I had to move. Sooner rather than later. Where exactly, I wasn't sure, maybe to Angela's for a few weeks until I could find my own place. Now my insurance money had come through, I could afford to seriously think about it now.

My next problem was telling Edward. I wasn't naïve enough to think he would just accept it. He was too protective for that. And part of me was grateful, but I just couldn't stay here longer than I had to any more. It was too hard. I had to put some distance between us if I ever hoped of remaining friends with him. And I did, no matter what, I wanted to always be friends with him. He and his family had done so much for me, mainly Edward, but still. Going into this whole situation I had never expected to fall in love with Edward, or his family, maybe this was why it was so difficult.

"Bella!" A voice startled me. "Jesus Baby, how long have you been sat there?" Edward asked in concern as I turned to look at him.

He strode toward me, crouching at my side as he looked at me. He seemed to be searching for the answer himself rather than waiting for me to tell him. I just found myself getting lost in his emerald green eyes, that were filled with worry.

"Why do you call me Baby?" I found myself asking.

"I... Uh... Wha..." He stuttered, obviously having been caught off guard.

"Why do you call me Baby?" I asked again, determined that now I had opened this particular can of worms, I was going see it through.

"Uh... I... didn't realize I did." I wasn't sure whether he was telling me the absolute truth, but it didn't really matter either way, it wouldn't change the fact that he had been doing.

"Well you do." I told him matter of factly.

"Does it... uh... bother you?" He asked. "That I've been calling you that?" He added.

"Not really. I just... I wanna know why."

"I uh... I don't know." Was his reply.

I nodded in acceptance. Maybe he did, maybe he didn't. Maybe, like me, he was too scared to make the first move, maybe he just didn't want to rock the boat, or most probably, he never realized because he truly saw me as nothing more than a friend. A friend of whom he now had a complicated relationship with, but a friend no less.

"How long..."

"I think I need..."

We both began to say at the same time. I gestured for Edward to continue, knowing my words possibly wouldn't go down too well.

"How long have you been sat out here?"

"A little after four. I couldn't sleep."

"Haven't you slept at all?" His eyes darkened somewhat. I knew it to be a sign of anger.

"No." I whispered.

"Jesus Bella. You should have come and woken me. You're going to make yourself sick."

"There wasn't anything you could have done Edward. It's not a big deal."

"There's lots of things I could have done Baby, I could have sat with you, I could have gone to the pharmacy for you... I don't know, anything other than sleeping soundly in the next room while you were out here alone."

There it was again, the 'Baby' thing. I really did believe at this point, he had know idea he was even calling it me.

"I needed time alone... to think." I told him.

"To think... about what?"

The concern was dripping from his tone. It made my next words even harder to tell him. But I needed to make him understand that neither of us could keep going on like this. Or more specifically I could no longer carry on like this, since I still wasn't sure of his feelings for me.

I pushed my feet off the chair they had been resting on, and grabbed his hand, gesturing for him to sit opposite me. I never let go of his hand, using that as my focal point. I couldn't look at him, I knew I would back out if I did.

"Edward... these past few months... I can't, I can't thank you enough for what you've done. What you've all done." His grip on my hand tightened slightly. "You gave me a home when I needed one, you've put up with my stupid issues, and listened to my fears." I felt like I could just burst into tears. "But... I think it's time I moved out." I finished quickly.

"What!" He dropped my hand suddenly. "Why?" He practically demanded.

"I just... I think it's for the best." I answered. I sounded weak, even to my own ears.

"The best for who?" He was angry, but I wasn't sure why.

"For me... For you... for the both of us."

Part of that was a lie. What was best for me, was staying here, with him, and getting my happily ever after. But it wasn't going to happen, therefore the next best thing was for me to leave.

"This was never meant to be a permanent thing Edward. We both knew that."

"Why now?"

What a good question. I didn't really have a good answer for that. It was something that I maybe should have done a while ago, but I had gotten too comfortable, being with him, relying on him. It was all for purely selfish reasons. No wonder he was angry with me.

"I don't want you to leave." He reached for my hand, his voice softer, almost as though his heart was breaking.

"I have to." I murmured.

"No Bella. Look me in the eye and tell me why."

Shit! I wasn't that good of an actress that I could blatantly lie to his face about my reasons for needing to move out. To lie halfway decently, I had to have time to prepare reasons, and I hadn't given myself time to think that far ahead before I opened my big mouth.

"Baby?" He gently cupped my chin, lifting my head so he could see my face.

"Because... because it's getting too much... too complicated..."

I didn't know what else to say to him to make him understand. Things between us were beyond complicated in my eyes, but if he didn't see it that way, then he wouldn't understand. To me, our behaviour was far from the norm, and I couldn't for the life of me believe that he thought it was.

"I know." He whispered, barely loud enough for me to hear.

I had nothing more to say. He knew, he admitted it, and that's all there was to it. I wasn't about to pack my bags right this minute, I wasn't stupid enough to move out with nowhere to go, but I would have to make alternative arrangements. Now I had made my decision, it wasn't fair on either of us to continue dragging it out further.

I moved to get up, maybe now my mind was beginning to settle, I could go back to bed and sleep. Edward's hand grabbing my own, pulled me back into my seat. I hadn't even had the chance to ask him what was wrong before his lips crashed down onto mine. There was nothing slow, or loving about this kiss, it was bursting with desperation, need, want, desire. It quite literally left me breathless. Even when he pulled away, he didn't back away completely, he simply placed his forehead to rest against my own. Part of me wanted to be angry at him, but another part wanted to enjoy this parting moment, because after this, there would be no further 'moments' like this one.

"Bella... Baby... I would like, very much for things... to remain complicated between us." He let out such a contented sigh with his words.

**Well, I do think I shall leave that right there! I know it's shorter than my usual chapters, but I just felt there was the best place to leave it. So could this be the start of a little romance between them. Will we, after such a long journey get to sigh finally? Please leave me some feedback, it's much appreciated and as usual, there's a teaser for every review:D**


	26. Parachute

Disclaimer : I don't own anything so there!

_Ok, so massive thanks again to my reviewers – **Linz832**, **VelvetWhispers**,** Meyer-Madness**, **Bandeforever16** and **Donnagurl** – you guys all rock **:D :D :D :D**_

Chapter 26

_I don't need a parachute  
__Baby if I've got you  
__Baby if I've got you  
__I don't need a parachute  
__You're gonna catch me  
__You're gonna catch if I fall  
__Down, down, down_

_Cheryl Cole - Parachute_

What the hell!

Had he really just said what I thought he had said? Did he mean what I thought he meant? I didn't know what to say, what to think, what to do. He had just completely thrown me for a loop. Of all the ways I had been expecting our previous conversation to go, this had not been how I had envisioned it to end. Never in my wildest dreams had I thought that Edward, would be saying what I thought he was saying. I couldn't dare get my hopes up, because let's be honest here, the chances of his meaning being the meaning I thought it was, was pretty slim in my books.

"Baby... I want you to stay... here with me." His voice sounded so soft, so breakable. "Right from the first time I met you, I've been falling in love with you, and now I'm in so deep, it scares the shit out of me."

Ok, so it wasn't the most eloquent of declarations, but it was a declaration regardless.

The problem was, I had no idea how to respond. His every words were like my dreams coming true. But that's the thing with dreams, they are your opportunity to want the unobtainable. Edward had always been unobtainable to me, for many, many reasons, and now, he was giving me the option, and I was scared to death. I was scared to allow myself to openly want him. I was scared to take that chance.

"If you feel even a tenth of what I feel for you Baby, please,"

"Edward, I'm pregnant... with your Brother's baby." Was the only thing I could think to say.

"And that... only makes me love you more."

Confusion didn't even begin to describe how I felt right now. The mornings events had practically given me whiplash.

"I... Uh... I..." I couldn't find words, and even if I could have, I doubted very much they would have made any sense.

"Baby, do you have any... any feelings at all for me?"

"Yes." I replied without even thinking, but knowing it was the absolute truth.

"Then, that's all we need to know right now." His voice was so happy, like he had just won the lottery or something.

I wanted to believe him, I wanted it to be true. But I wasn't one hundred percent convinced that everything would work out fine, just because we had both admitted to feeling something for the other. There were roadblocks in our way, a huge one being that I was pregnant, with another man... and woman's child. He might not be worried about that now, but would he be when I really started showing, when the baby started kicking, when I went into labour.

I had gone into this knowing all the facts, knowing all the possible outcomes. Edward didn't. He hadn't even had a say in the matter. Granted at the point the decision had been made, his opinion hadn't really mattered, but it would if we became a couple. Was he prepared? Could he even begin to prepare now?

It was a sad fact of being pregnant, that things did sometimes go wrong, during pregnancy, during labour. I had accepted the risks and continued regardless. But imagine, if for only a minute, if something were to happen to me, Edward would firmly be dragged into the situation, possibly allowing it to cause a rift between his family and himself. Could I cope with that knowledge, even if it the possibility was extremely slim.

"I don't know if it's enough." I murmured, hating having to say the words, but unable to hide my fear.

In the whole time we had been talking, I hadn't been able to bring myself to look him in the eye, scared maybe, of what I would find in his. His eyes were impossibly hypnotising, and I knew I would have agreed to pretty much anything.

"I love you Bella. And I'm not going anywhere!" He told me, as he lifted my chin, forcing me to see nothing but the truth in his green orbs. "I know that we're not in the most ideal of situations, and I know things are going to be anything but easy. But I really don't care, as long as you're here, with me." His declarations were so heartfelt, tears filled my eyes.

"I think... I think... I don't know what I think. Time maybe."

"We have time." He answered, sounding so sure of himself, of us. "Just know, my feelings for you, haven't changed only grown stronger, in the time that I've known you."

I nodded, accepting his words, his truth, his everything. I just needed time to process everything. I leant forward and gave him a hug, holding him to me tightly, hoping my physical actions could express everything my voice could not.

Without another word, I got up from my seat, and headed back to my room, climbing under the warm duvet, allowing our conversation to rerun through my mind. I wanted to be with him, that was without a doubt, I just didn't know if it was the right thing right now. I didn't want to get hurt, and I certainly didn't want to hurt him. But hurting him was a huge possibility.

At some point, through my wild thoughts, I had managed to drift off to sleep, waking to feel no better than I did before I slept. In fact, the pounding in my head, only made me feel worse. I felt groggy, sleepy, my eyes burned. Yet at some point during my sleep, I had come to a decision, and for the first time in over a day, I felt at peace with myself.

I was desperate for some pain relief, but knowing it was inadvisable unless desperately necessary, I stumbled out of my room, following the sounds of the TV. Edward was sat, still in his pyjamas, looking as God like as possible, but there really was no difference if I'm honest. He always looked impossibly perfect.

"Hey, you ok?" He asked having noticed me padding toward him and the couch. "I popped my head in earlier to see if you wanted food, but you were out for the count."

"Just the last few days catching up on me I guess." I replied, my voice gruff with the little sleep I had managed to get. "Pip hasn't made me throw up yet today though, so I shouldn't complain." I joked, trying to break the ice a little.

I hated that everything between us seemed so tense, and awkward. I missed the easiness of our friendship, and I wanted it back. I just wasn't sure we ever would. You heard it all the time that people who were friends tried to date, and it didn't work, and any friendship they had, had went down the drain with the failed relationship. I didn't want that to be me and Edward.

"I'm scared." I whispered, part of me hoping he'd hear, another part hoping he didn't.

"What about?" He asked, his voice immediately worrying, as he turned the TV off and twisted to face me.

"Us." I told him after a few moments.

He looked at me confused, and I had no idea how to explain to him why I was scared of there ever being an us. I should have waited, gathered my thoughts and my words before I started this, but it was too late now.

"When I agreed to be a surrogate for Rose and Em, I did so, knowing I was going to be putting parts of my life on hold for a while. And I was ok with that. I truly was." I began to try and explain as best as I could. "I didn't count on falling in love with their whole family. I expected to just walk away once this was all over."

Edward sat patiently, waiting for me to gather my thoughts and words together. His expression gave nothing away as to what he was thinking or feeling, and honestly that unnerved me a little.

"I'm scared that I'm going to hurt you in some way, I'm scared of taking a chance, and I'm scared that once I start getting really pregnant, it'll all get too much for you. And I won't blame you Edward. But I absolutely hate that if it came to that, it would cause a rift between you and your family, or you might resent Pip when it's born for breaking us up." I babbled, only realizing after I had finished exactly what I had said. "No... I don't mean... shit, I didn't mean to..."

"Baby, it's ok, I knew what you meant." He quickly soothed me. "I can't promise you baby, that I won't freak out at some point during the rest of the pregnancy. What you're doing is a huge thing, and honestly, I am so proud of you for this huge selfless thing you're doing for my family, and I know it's not going to be easy watching you being pregnant." At his words, I felt like my heart was breaking a little. "But, the reason it won't be easy is for purely selfish reasons."

Selfish reasons. What did he mean selfish reasons? Was this his way of telling me he wasn't able to have children either?

The confusion must have shown on my face, because he chuckled, leaning over slightly and taking my hand in his own. I was immediately aware of how right my hand felt wrapped in his. How much I wanted him to hold it, for no other reason than he felt like it. I had always wanted to be with him, but it now seemed to reach an even higher level. I wanted him, and only him. I was prepared to work and fight to keep him.

"I don't mean to freak you out when I say this, and I would never begrudge my Brother anything, but I do wish I had met you first. I regret walking out that night, and I regret not telling you sooner." Again I was still confused as to why saying those things might have freaked me out. Yes they were a little selfish, but not overly so. "I'm not ready to be a parent, but over the last few months, I have wished that, this pregnancy was ours and not Rose and Em's."

Holy shit! Was he saying what I think he was saying?

"I don't want you to think that I'm jealous or anything, or I'm going to have issues with Pip being theirs," He clarified. "But when I look at my future, all I see is you."

Tears poured down my cheeks. I was both happy and sad. Happy that it seemed he felt for me, exactly how I felt for him. But sad, that if we were really going to do this, he was going to have to watch me have a baby, and it wasn't even his.

"This is going to be complicated." I told him.

I wasn't purposely trying to put him off, but I needed him to know the truth, I needed him to know everything, exactly what he was getting himself into. It wouldn't be fair to try to do this with him, and then in a few months have him find something out that he couldn't deal with.

"It's only going to get complicated if we let it." He sounded so confident.

"I think you need to speak to someone. You know find out exactly what you're walking into."

"I already have." He replied.

My head shot up, as I looked him in the eye. I had not been expecting that answer at all.

"I've spoken to a counsellor, at the group you used to volunteer for actually. I wanted to be prepared to help you through stuff, whether only as a friend or more."

I was astonished. Even more tears began to pour from my eyes. This man was unbelievable. It was hard to believe he was real sometimes. I doubted many men in the world would have gone to the lengths that Edward had, in fact, most guys would have probably run as far as possible, as fast as possible.

"I know, that there could be a very slim possibility that something could go wrong, and it might mean you can't have any more children. But Baby, I don't care. Whatever happens, happens, and we'll deal with it... together."

All I could do was nod. He was unreal.

"I... I need you to make me a promise." I hated asking for more, when he was giving me so much already, but this was for him.

"Anything Baby."

"You have to tell me, talk to me, when things weird you out. You need to be honest with me."

"I promise. But it works both ways." He agreed without even having to think about it.

I nodded, before snuggling up into his side, feeling his arms immediately wrap around me, and his lips grazing my forehead and lingering. We had sat this way many times before, and I didn't really expect to feel any different, but surprisingly I did. I felt so much better. For the first time, I wasn't over thinking things, I wasn't wishing things could be different between us. I wasn't having to wonder whether our snuggle was lasting longer than it should for friends. It all felt kind of perfect now.

"Can we... can we take this... slowly?" I asked quietly, almost scared of his response.

"As slow or as fast as you like Baby." He agreed. "But let's not define this by speed, let's just take it one step at a time, as and when we're both comfortable, ok?"

"You're kind of perfect you know." I told him.

"I'm far from it Baby, but thank you anyway." He chuckled, tightening his grip on me, and kissing my forehead again.

"So you're... you know?" Angela asked me later that week.

We had both agreed earlier in the week that we needed to go for drinks one night after work to catch each other up on our personal lives. It felt so long ago that we actually sat down and talked properly, rather than just having quick five minute chats at the fax machine. Even our lunch times seemed to fly by without us having actually got into any real juicy gossip.

"Yeah... well, trying to." I admitted, feeling my cheeks burning with a pointless blush.

"What do you mean trying?"

"Well, it's complicated, and well I'm having his Brother's baby for God's sake, you can't get any complicated than that."

"And how does he feel about you doing that?" She asked, taking a sip of wine. "I mean, before you were just a friend, but now you're what... his girlfriend,"

"He says he's ok with. But let's face it, I'm not exactly showing, so it could be a case of out of sight out of mind kind of thing."

"I'm sure it isn't."

"I guess. I mean, I am expecting him to freak out at some point, how could he not. I'm sure I will." I admitted. "But he's promised that if something starts to bother him, he's going to talk to me about it, and vice versa."

It felt good to be talking to Angela about this stuff. I suppose it was because she was kind of unbiased. She was out of the situation, and other than it involving me, she had no emotional ties to it. I felt sure I could talk to either rose or Alice, hell even Esme, but Edward was their family, and it would just feel all kinds of awkward.

"So... are you going to stay living with him?"

Ah... this was something I had yet to decide on. It made sense in a lot of ways to stay put, but there was a part of me that felt maybe it would be for the best if I didn't. I loved being at Edward's, and could honestly see me living there with him permanently, coming home to him every night, integrating our lives together so it became our home rather than his. But with these thoughts also came doubt. We had literally become official only two days ago, and even though I had been living there for a while now, allowing it to become permanent seemed a little fast. I was also very aware that if things didn't work out between us, I would have nowhere to go. Not that I ever thought Edward would see me homeless or anything, but it did scare me.

"I think so. I mean at least for the time being." I told her, as I nibbled on a bread stick. Angela knew about my telling Edward I thought it would be best to move out, so there was no need to revisit that subject. "I got a letter from my old landlord the other day, he's rebuilding the apartment block and wanted to know if I wanted my old apartment back."

I had omitted from telling Edward that. I hadn't wanted to rock the boat more than I already had. I knew it was something I would have to inevitably talk to him about, but until I really had an idea of what I was going to do, there was no point.

"You're not really thinking about it are you?"

"I don't know. It would be nice to have my own place again, but then I don't know,"

"You'd be crazy if you did. I mean the guy completely ignored complaints from practically everyone in your building, resulting in the boiler bursting and burning down the whole place. He's just lucky nobody was killed."

"I know, and that's what is stopping me from saying yes, but you can't blame me for wanting to return to something, and somewhere familiar."

"Maybe." Angela agreed. "Personally, I'd be fighting tooth and nail to stay with that God you've managed to bag." She giggled.

This was why I loved Angela so. She knew when the subject had or was getting too heavy. That and she also wanted more juicy gossip on Edward. I couldn't say I blamed her though, I found him too perfect to be true at times.

After another hour or so of catching up, Angela called Ben who came to pick us up. I had tried to argue that I could walk, since Edward's apartment was only five or six blocks away, but ever since that night with James texting me when we were at the wine bar, she wouldn't hear of me walking anywhere at night alone. I have to admit though, it bothered me to do so more now than it had ever done before. Ben also warned me and made me promise that even if I wasn't out with Angela, and I ever found myself with no-one to walk me, or drive me home, I had to call him. At the time, I had burst into tears, wondering how I had managed to find myself such good friends.

When I walked into the apartment, Edward was sat with his feet up on the coffee table, watching a sports channel. The moment he saw me though, he jumped up from his seat and came over to me, pulling me into a hug, before planting a soft kiss on my lips. Shots of electricity ran up and down my spine from his touch. I still couldn't believe that this amazing man wanted to be with me.

"Did you have fun with Angela?" He asked me sweetly.

He was a rare find that was for sure. I doubted many guys would ever think to ask their girlfriends about their days, let alone remember they were going out for a drink after work with friends.

"Yeah. It was nice to catch up, we haven't really had chance to for a while." I answered him, pulling my jacket off and hanging it up in the closet.

"Angela's not walking home on her own is she?"

"No, she had Ben come pick us up. Not that it was really necessary, we were what, six blocks away." I scoffed, leading us back to the living room to where Edward had been stretched out only a few minutes before.

"It doesn't matter how far you were away Baby," Edward's voice sounded exasperated. "Look, I don't want to sound controlling, but please promise me, that you never walk home alone. It isn't safe."

I didn't want to argue with him over something so small, especially when I knew he was only saying it because he cared. I nodded and sank into the sofa followed quickly by Edward, who seemed content with my answer, and his attention returned to whatever it was he was watching. I on the other hand lost myself in my thoughts. It hadn't escaped me, that somewhere along the way, since meeting the Cullen's, I had changed. Whether it was for the better or for the worst, I was yet to decide.

Only a few months ago, had Edward told me not to walk home alone again, I would have fought him tooth and nail over it, purposely going against him, for nothing more than proving my own point. To show him that I could look after myself, as I had been doing for years. It would have bothered me that he was seemingly trying to tell me what to do, I would have felt smothered. But now, I completely understood why he didn't want me out there alone, even if the whole thing with James hadn't have happened. I respected him more for asking me, rather than telling me. But I was mostly struck by the fact I was willing to do as he had asked, and knew that at one point, I would end up calling him to come walk me home or even pick me up, whereas before I wouldn't have thought twice about it.

"Baby, where'd you go?" Edward's hand was suddenly waving in front of me.

"Huh, sorry." I focused on his face, his eyes concerned.

"You ok?"

"Oh, yeah, just realizing something, is all." I replied, shaking my head to clear my thoughts. "Did you say something?" I smiled, changing the subject before he could dwell on it further.

"Alice just called." How I had missed that was beyond me, but I nodded along. "_She_ has decided that we're all heading out to Forks Friday evening, straight after work, so we can get in a full weekend there. Is that ok with you?" He asked me hesitantly. "I mean I can tell her no if you want," He added as an after thought.

I was stumped. Did I make it obvious that I didn't want to go, or just agree nonchalantly and then pull out at the last minute. Or do I just suck it up and go. No matter which I chose to do, I didn't want to show Edward that there was a problem, I didn't want more attention putting on it than was absolutely necessary. I could feel him watching me, waiting anxiously for a response.

My mind whizzed through scenarios. I knew without a doubt, that if I chose not to go, Edward wouldn't either. Not only would that make me feel awful, that he was missing out on time with his family, because of me, but when I did nothing all weekend, what would my excuse be then. 'Oh my plans fell through', yeah that wasn't going to work.

At the same time, I wasn't sure why I was making such as big deal about going. I knew the small town like the back of my hand, I felt sure if I really wanted to, I could go all weekend without being spotted by any of it's residents. Whose to say I even had to go anywhere once I got there. I was sure Esme could help me out, hold me up in the kitchen or something.

Another pro to going, was finally telling them all, everything. They deserved to know, Emmett, Rose and Edward especially. Probably Edward more so now that we were dating... kind of. It would give me the opportunity to go and see Jake, explain to him, in person about my being a surrogate. My Dad had been on at me constantly to tell him, even offering for Billy and himself to do it, but I had always maintained that I should be the one. I hadn't wanted to do it over the phone though.

"No, it's fine, we can go if you want." I found myself saying.

Edward looked at me as though he truly couldn't believe my answer. Had I been that obvious in my dislike of the idea of going? Did he even have an idea why? The only person that knew to my knowledge was Esme, and I was sure she wouldn't have told him, since she had been encouraging me since she found out to tell everyone, though had made it very clear it was my story to tell, and not hers. Or even worse, had he found out things when he had been to Forks to paint his room, and just not mentioned it, waiting for me to tell him?

"Are you sure?" He asked, almost as though he was giving me the chance to opt out.

"Yeah, I'm sure," I replied, as convincingly as I could manage. "Maybe invite Seth and Alec." I suggested. "Seth can show you around properly." Edward's forehead creased, clearly wondering why I wouldn't want to be their tour guide. "It's just, quite a few of the good places involve a bit of hiking and stuff, and well since I can't seem to walk on flat surfaces without becoming good friends with the floor, it would probably be best if he took you." Wow, even I was shocked at how quick I came up with that one.

"Yeah... ok." He agreed. "Just so you know though, I would never... and I mean _never_ let you get hurt out there."

I felt a little overwhelmed by the sincerity in his voice. I truly believed every word he said, even though I knew it wasn't possible for him to prevent me being hurt, but the fact he felt so sure, and would try his utmost to prevent anything happening, made my heart swarm with warmth. I couldn't resist leaning into him and kissing him tenderly.

"I know you wouldn't." I told him, looking him dead in the eye, wanting to make sure, he knew I believed him.

He kissed me again softly, before pulling away and wrapping his arm around me so I could cuddle into his side.

Ever since we had talked and decided to give us a go, we had only kissed a few times, none of which really got very heated. In the whole two days, I had felt happy with how things were going, but also slightly frustrated. I know I had told him I wanted to go slowly, but sometimes it felt as though if we went any slower, we would start to go backwards. In my more clear thinking moments, I knew it was more than likely my hormones talking, and since I spent much of the day horny, there really was no wonder I wanted the man I now called mine, to simply ravish me.

We hadn't told anyone yet about us, and I wasn't even sure how we would or should go about it. Edward had suggested telling Rose and Em first, since it affected them more than anyone else, and then after them, it was whoever. I liked his plan, but I had thought we had a little more time before we had to tell them, but now, I knew it would have to be done before we headed to Forks, which gave us two days, one of which was the day we would be heading to Forks. Edward had told me over and over that they were going to be ok with it, since they both knew of his feelings for me, having guessed early on, and Rose clearly knew of my feelings for him, but it didn't stop the nerves of actually having to admit it to them.

Before I knew it, it was Friday afternoon, and I was sat at work with Angela, waiting for Edward to come and pick me up. We had told Em and Rose last night over dinner, and honestly, though I was expecting them to be ok about it, there response kind of shocked me. Rose started weeping, immediately blaming it on her hormones, declaring she was so over the moon happy for us, and Emmett, as per usual, overreacted by getting on his knees and thanking God that we had come to our senses. Now all that was left to do was tell everyone else. Edward had promised me that he would buy us both some ear plugs for when we told Alice and his Mom, since he was expecting some form of screeching.

"It'll be fine Bella, I'm sure of it." Angela comforted me.

As the day had progressed, I had become more and more nervous, knowing that this weekend, they would quite probably find out everything. I hadn't decided how I was going to tell them, or even when exactly, but I knew the longer I left it, the harder and worse it was going to be. Angela had actually agreed with me on that point, though had added, that if I needed to get away, all I had to do was call her and she and Ben would come get me. I was so thankful that she actually understood how hard this was going to be for me.

The night before, Edward, had asked me if I could ask Jane if I could have Monday off, so we wouldn't have to rush off early on Sunday, and could instead spend time with my Dad. I had appreciated the thought, and had done as he asked, only to have Jane willingly give me the day, shocked since I rarely, if ever asked for vacation days, normally having to have them forced upon me.

I knew Sunday however wouldn't be spent how Edward was planning. I was planning on going and seeing Jake in the morning, before returning to talk to the whole family, telling them everything. On that part of it though, I was weighing up my options, as to whether I got my Dad to come and help me, or even Seth. I just couldn't decide.

Edward appeared at the other side of the room, a bright smile appearing on his face when he spotted Angela and I. I myself found myself smiling back the moment he began heading toward us. It was crazy how just the sight of him made me light up like a damn bulb.

"Hey Angela," Edward greeted her, immediately putting his arm around my waist and kissing my cheek. "Hey Baby, you almost ready?"

"Aww how sweet are the two of you together." Angela teased. "You're enough to give me a cavity."

"Jealousy's a killer, huh Ange." I replied teasingly. I turned and grabbed my bag and coat, before taking Edward's offered hand. "Let's go." I forced a smile his way.

"Call me later B." Angela shouted after us, making it sound like the most natural thing in the world for her to remind me to call her.

Since Edward had put both of our bags in the trunk this morning before we left for work, he drove us toward Tacoma, rather than catching the ferry across the Sound, since we both knew at this time of day, it was bound to busy. He told me we would meet the rest of his family in Forks, since we were all leaving Seattle at different times. We settled in quickly for the long four hour journey ahead of us, though it became clear right from the start, it wasn't going to be a four hour journey, with the speed Edward was going.

About an hour into the drive, Esme called to update us on where she and Carlisle were, and that she was sure Emmett and Rose, and Alice and Jasper weren't too far behind them. Once I had relayed the information of their location to Edward, it was like the words struck something in him, as he slowly but surely picked up the speed, Esme then text me, simply putting 'Cullen competitiveness'. I should have known Edward would be hell bent in beating his siblings there.

Twenty minutes later, a little yellow Porsche flew past, honking it's horn. Edward was already breaking the speed limit, and I could see him arguing internally with himself as to whether to push the speed some more. The argument only got stronger when Rosalie's red BMW flew by, Emmett making things worse by flipping Edward the bird. I heard Edward growl as he pushed his foot further to the floor.

"Edward, don't." I told him with a sigh.

He immediately did as I asked, and backed off of the gas, though I could see how much it pained him to do so, which honestly only made me feel better about what I was about to do.

"Trust me." I told him.

It was rush hour on a Friday evening. I knew from experience that Port Angeles would be solid with traffic, and it would take an age to get through. It was however the best known way to get to Forks, and unless they altered their GPS to avoid Port Angeles, which by the time they would know to, it would be too late and the road signs wouldn't tell them any other way.

However having spent considerable amounts of time in my last two years of High School either in Port Angeles or Seattle, I knew of a way around the traffic. It wasn't so much a short cut, since the bends actually made it further in miles, but time wise it would save some.

I text Esme and Carlisle who had by now caught up, and were only a few cars behind, and told them to just follow us, explaining briefly why we were going to avoid Port Angeles. Esme's response was that I was sneaky, but she loved it, obviously knowing I wasn't cluing her other two children in on the plan.

Edward was a little shocked when I told him to exit the one oh one just after the Sequim Valley airport exit, but did as I asked him, and from there on, followed my every direction, until we rejoined the one oh one, completely missing out entering Port Angeles, knowing his Brother and Sister, were more than likely still stuck somewhere in the traffic of Port Angeles.

"Jesus Christ Baby, you are amazing." Edward crowed as we hit the one oh one, finding nothing but smooth moving traffic.

An hour later, Edward was pulling into the drive way of the Cullen's new house. Though I had been told where it was, I was rather pleased to find we hadn't had to go through the town. I knew I would inevitably have to at some point over the weekend, but firstly I wanted to settle in, and mentally prepare myself for the onslaught of feelings being back here.

Having previously discussed the subject, on whether we were going to share Edward's room, or I would stay in the guest room, Edward took both of our bags upstairs to his room. When we had made the decision, though I felt more than comfortable sharing a bed with Edward, I had to admit my main purpose for choosing to do so now, was simply because I hated the idea of being alone this weekend, at any point. I felt guilty for not telling Edward so, but I was hoping that once he was aware of how hard this trip was for me, he would understand.

The house itself was very modern, but it strangely fit in it's surroundings perfectly. It didn't look as though it was newly built, and it wasn't ostentatious in any way, in fact you couldn't even see it from the main road. The inside décor, screamed Esme. It was so tasteful, minimal, but in a warm kind of way. The whole back of the house was a wall of glass, looking out of the beautiful scenery. The river, at one of it's quieter points was at the far end of the garden, flowing quietly. I knew even then, that come sunset, it would be exquisite.

Half an hour later, Jasper and Alice, Rose and Emmett all bombarded their way into the house, demanding to know how we had managed to get here before them, when they had been stuck in the solid traffic for a good forty minutes. It soon became apparent that I was the reason behind our early arrival, which caused quite an amount of playful arguing between the siblings over Edward and Carlisle having cheated by having me.

The rest of the night was actually quite quiet, well apart from when Alice realized my things weren't in the guest room, when she had gone in, in order to put my outfits together for the following day. She had practically screamed the house down when it became obvious where my things were, and why. An hour later, and my cheeks were still burning from the embarrassment, though thankfully she had managed to refrain from asking too many questions, which I could tell she would ask later, because Alice was, well Alice, and she would want to know all the juicy details.

Falling asleep next to Edward that night, was probably one of the only good things about being Forks, and whilst he fell asleep rather quickly, I was left pondering my thoughts, wondering exactly how I was going to get through the next few days. Both Angela and Seth had been saints, texting me every few hours or so, constantly telling me that everything would be ok.

It quite literally felt as though I had just fallen asleep, when Alice came bounding into the room like a kid on Christmas morning, declaring it time to get up, so we could go exploring. I had groaned as I crawled from bed to begin getting ready, knowing from experience that she wouldn't leave us alone until we did as she asked. Thankfully I managed for the third time in a row to not throw up, but the joy from that fact, lasted only a few minutes, when I realized after putting on my camisole, that I was now, visibly pregnant.

Looking out of the window, and seeing nothing but clear skies and sunshine, I knew it would be too warm to wear a sweater all day, without looking like a complete idiot, but I wasn't sure how prepared I was to walk around my home town, showing off a baby bump. A thousand different feelings hit me then. My thoughts were those similar to someone who was ashamed of her pregnancy, and ashamed should be the last thing I felt. I felt so guilty for thinking and feeling the way I did, but I couldn't help but want to just hide the bump for just this one weekend.

"Hey Baby, you almost..." Edward's voice broke my thoughts. "Bella! Baby, what's wrong?" And then there he was, cupping my face in his hands, his eyes practically screaming with worry. "Talk to me Baby."

I couldn't tell him. Regardless of how he felt about me, he would think I was being stupid, or think I was horrible for being so upset by something so stupid. Even I felt stupid, but I couldn't help my thoughts.

Edward kept prompting me to tell him, just even hint at what the problem was, his thumbs constantly swiping at my tears that I hadn't realized were pouring down my cheeks.

"I'm being stupid." I wept.

"No you're not, what's wrong Baby, please tell me."

"People can see Pip." I practically whispered, showing him my evident bump.

He didn't laugh, or even smile. He simply rubbed his hand over my small bump, and then pulled me into a hug, whispering that everything was going to be ok. I believed him, feeling so much better that I had told him and he hadn't belittled my feelings. Giving me a squeeze, he pulled away, and told me he was going to be right back. I leant against the bathroom counter, swiping away my tears, trying to calm myself so that when I finally went downstairs, no-one would be any the wiser to my little morning breakdown.

As promised, Edward did come right back, with Esme in tow, who carried a knowing smile, and some tops. She ordered Edward from the room, and closed the bathroom door, giving us both some privacy. Without a word, she pulled me into a motherly hug, squeezing all my worries from me. Having never known my own Mom, having Esme was like a gift from heaven. I felt like she understood me, I assumed in only a way a mother could. Some of her ways reminded me of my Grandma Swan, but even then my memories were vague, since she had died when I was much younger.

"You know, when I was pregnant with Edward, I refused to go anywhere when I first started showing, I felt like a whale, I was much bigger with him than I was with Emmett believe it or not." She told me, still holding me tight to her. "You're not a bad person for feeling this way sweetheart, you are being completely normal."

"I'm not ready for everyone in town to see me this way." I whispered, knowing she would completely understand my fears.

"And they won't." She told me adamantly, as she pulled away, and showed me the selection of tops she had brought.

Fifteen minutes later, I followed Esme down the stairs, feeling much more confident thanks to the t-shirt Esme had lent me. It's wasn't baggy enough that it looked bad, but it was loose enough that Pip wasn't showing through, and most importantly, no-one but Edward and Esme knew about how I felt.

After breakfast, Seth and Alec arrived, the former making his presence known not just to everyone in the house, but any wildlife in the vicinity. He bulldozed all our plans, declaring that we were going to go hiking, after we had of course given them a thorough tour of down town, which we had both joked would take a maximum of five minutes.

Once we had shown everyone where my old high school was, and the diner, and at Seth's demand my Dad's house, so as he said, I could show everyone how I escaped. Both Emmett and Edward practically had heart attacks, when I suggested climbing in through my window after finding the front door locked. I showed them my old Chevy truck, that despite having not been used in a while, thundered to a start first time. Edward again went practically translucent at the suggestion we drive around town in the truck, and Rose was practically begging that we take it back to Seattle, so she could have fun playing with it.

On our way back through town, we stopped at the Police Department to see my Dad, since I had no idea how much of him I would see whilst in town. June gushed over me, nearly bursting into tears as she hugged me tightly. She had known me since I was born, hell she had babysat me on more than one occasion. She was like an Auntie I guess. The few guys who worked at the station told me it was good to see me, and that I was looking good.

For the first time in such a long time, it felt good to be back in Forks. I wasn't naïve enough to know the feeling wouldn't last, but thankfully, it was going ok so far.

Unbeknownst to me, there was a huge bonfire happening in La Push that evening, which Seth had decided we were all going to. My Dad upon seeing me lit up, and told me how pleased he was, that I had come. I knew the meaning of what he meant, if no-one else did. It was then I decided I was going to have to start swallowing my fears and visit more often.

After the visiting was over, the hiking was to begin, though as Rose demanded, she needed to pee, and was getting hungry. With playful annoyance, Seth pulled in at the local store, where the wash rooms were at the very least clean, and where we could all grab some drinks and snacks. I wandered the few aisles, hoping I would go, for the most part unnoticed, though with Alice making comments at how cute the store was, it was unlikely.

I was on the homestretch when in walked Mrs. Crowley. I had gone through high school with her son, Tyler, and she was by far, one of the biggest gossipers, I knew the whole town would know I was here if she saw me. It wasn't so much that I was afraid, it was more that I just didn't want the hassle, and I certainly didn't want her to be the one to tell the Cullen's my 'big secret'.

"Alice." I hissed, gaining her immediate attention. "If you love me at all, you will help me get out of here unseen."

The confusion on her face appeared straight away, as she stood tall and looked around the store, immediately spotting Mrs. Crowley. She thankfully nodded, not asking any further questions. We were almost to the door when Seth appeared, a cheeky grin plastered on his face.

"Geez Bells, just pick something to eat already and let's go." He announced loudly. I wanted to be so angry with him, but I knew had he known Mrs. Crowley was in here, he wouldn't have dreamt of announcing my presence quite so loudly. "Oh fuck!" He exclaimed, obviously having finally noticed her. "Ali, here, I'll pay for those, why don't you go on out to the car."

At that point, I was so thankful for Seth. I'm sure Alice didn't understand why he was sending her out to the car, and it would only mean having to explain one more thing to them all, but at the very least, she wouldn't be gossiped about later.

"Why if it isn't Bella Swan." Her voice was like nails on a chop board. "And Seth Clearwater."

Forcing a smile onto my face, I turned around to face her, Seth beside me, his arm supportively wrapped around my shoulders. Taking in her appearance, it was easy to see she had gained about thirty pounds at a guess, since the last time I had seen her. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, since she wasn't grossly over weight, but wearing the low cut top and short shorts like she was nothing but unflattering.

"Hello Mrs. Crowley." I forced the pleasant greeting from behind my teeth. "It's nice to see you again." Both Seth and I knew it was a lie, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if she knew it too.

"And it's lovely to see you too. It has been a while." And there we have dig number one.

"Yes it has." I replied, unwilling to give any further information out.

"I was just talking about you the other day with Mrs. Newton. We were wondering what had happened to you, it was almost like you fell off the map." And dig number two. "What brings you back here then?"

I knew for a fact that Mrs. Newton wasn't wondering what had happened to me, since I was still in touch with Mike and Jess, whom I knew kept her updated on both Angela, Ben and I. Hell the woman even knew where to send my birthday and Christmas cards every year.

"Just visiting." I told her, keeping it as brief as possibly.

"I bet your Dad's pleased, it's obvious he misses you. Living in that big old house by himself." And dig number three.

"Hey Bells, they have those cheese flavoured chips here that you were craving last week, you want some." Rose called, as she rounded the corner and came into view.

I could almost see the cogs working in Mrs. Crowley's brain, her eyes flitting from a obviously pregnant Rose, to me. Rose's words having been heard by her, she looked me up and down, finding the answer she wanted. I quite literally wanted the whole ground to swallow me whole.

"Well, we'll be seeing you Mrs. Crowley." Seth dragged me away, after who knows how many minutes of me being frozen to the spot.

Rose could tell there was something wrong, and it didn't exactly take a genius to work out what. She wrapped her arm around my shoulder and apologized profusely for having a big mouth. As mad as I was that the whole town would now know, I couldn't find it in me to be angry with her. How was she to know that I wanted to keep things under wraps. I hadn't exactly told them. It felt like forever before Seth had successfully paid for our items and lead me by the arm outside. I felt in a bit of a haze, not knowing what to do.

"You ok Bells?" Seth whispered, as we headed back to Emmett's Jeep, that he had let Seth and Alec drive here.

"Jake." Was the only thing I could think to say.

"Call him."

I excused myself from the group for a few minutes, vaguely hearing Seth explain to everyone exactly what had happened, though he didn't really explain it in much depth, just who the old bitch was, and that I had wanted to tell a friend about the pregnancy myself, but now everyone would find out, and I didn't want them to find out that way. It was the truth, just had parts missing to it.

"Hey, you're through to Jake, you know what to do..." Jakes voice mail kicked in and I groaned.

"Hey Jake... it's Bella." I felt awkward. "I know it's um... been a while... but I'm in Forks for the weekend... I was kind of hoping to come and catch up with you." Ok, I felt more than awkward. "So, um, can you please call me when you get this..." Even I could hear the pleading in my tone. "I love you Jake." I added as an after thought.

Even after I ended the call, I couldn't rid myself of the panic I felt. I had to get to him before anyone else did. I owed him at least that.

"Hey Billy, it's Bella." I sighed with relief when Billy answered the phone. "Is Jake with you?"

"Hey Hun, no, he was up early, heading to Olympia to pick a car part up. Anything I can help you with." The news Billy had given me was both good and bad.

"I'm in Forks, Billy." I told him. "Mrs. Crowley's seen me, she knows Billy, and I've got to tell him before anyone else does."

"Oh no." He sighed, knowing exactly what the news would do to him, more so considering it wouldn't be completely accurate. "He's due back around dinner time, the moment he walks through the door, I'll call you."

I hung up with Billy, promising I would go down and visit while I was in town. Just one more thing to add to the laundry list of things for me to take care of this weekend.

Even though it was doubtful that Jake would see anyone either before he heard my message, or spoke to Billy, I was on tenter hooks for the rest of the afternoon. No-one seemed to question my mood, or how tense I was, and for that I was thankful. Seth had obviously told them enough to make sure they wouldn't ask further questions. Esme kept shooting me knowing sympathetic glances, and again I found myself thankful that she knew, so she could help keep them all off my back.

I hadn't heard a thing from Billy or Jake by the time we went to the bonfire down in La Push. As expected one or two people down there had already heard through the grapevine about my pregnancy, but since it was a small community, they all understood that I needed to talk to Jake before he found out, and I had their word they would keep quiet. Out of all the people that now knew, I knew I could trust them the most.

I was giving up hope when Billy arrived with my Dad and Sue, only to tell me that although Jake hadn't arrived home, he had called. He had received my message, but he was driving, and said he would call me in the morning, since all he wanted to do was go home and crash, after the early start he had, had. Even knowing the chances of him finding out before I told him, were getting slimmer and slimmer, I knew I wouldn't truly feel ok until I had told him.

I managed to enjoy my evening down in La Push, as I'm sure did all the Cullen's, who were amazed at some of the tribe stories that had been told. Around ten, the fire began dying down, and we all began to pack up, I felt dead on my feet, along with Rose, who had claimed she was going into a smores coma, after out eating Emmett for the very first time in history.

Back at the house, I was sat in the kitchen with the girls, drinking hot chocolate, whilst the guys caught the tail end of a hockey game in the living room. We kept laughing every so often when the guys would start shouting at the TV, in a typical male fashion. During a lull in the sound I could have sworn I heard the loud roar of an engine followed by skidding tyres, but I put it down to a commercial on the TV. It was only when I heard Emmett yell something like 'what the fuck', that I knew something was wrong.

Following the girls toward the front door where all the guys were now congregating, I realized I had been right about the car.

"BELLA!" And there was Jake, in the middle of the driveway, screaming out my name.

**Ohhhhhh – that is all lol. Please review for me, it means the world, even if it is only to scream profanities at me :D I would also like to take this opportunity to apologize to you all, for not having this chapter up earlier, but to be honest, writing this has kicked my butt, so subsequently, I'm unable to offer teasers this week. I'm not saying they might not come, especially if I get the next chapter done pretty quick, but please don't expect them :(**


	27. It only hurts when I breathe

Disclaimer : I don't own a thing so there :P

**A/N : Hey guys, so sorry it's taken me such a long time to update this, but I've been so busy lately, and whenever I did have time to write, the words just wouldn't come. So I hope this chapter is worth the wait for you :)**

_Big thank you's to my reviewers – **teambellaedward**, **hurricanelane**,** Linz832** and **Bandeforever16** you guys are so awesome, and I'm so sorry there has been a lack of teasers and replies. Hopefully things will start to pick up in the future **:D :D :D :D**_

Chapter 27

_And it only hurts when I'm breathing  
My heart only breaks when it's beating  
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming  
So, I hold my breath-to forget  
__It only hurts when I breathe_

_It only hurts when I breathe – Shania Twain_

The day so far had been all kinds of crazy. Starting right off, waking up next to Bella, for no other reason than we had wanted, and chosen to sleep in the same bed together, rather than because there were minimal other options available to us. I could have done without Alice coming to wake us up though, spoiling what I was sure would have been an enjoyable morning waking with Bella.

I knew Bella wasn't completely thrilled to be in Forks, for reasons I was yet unsure of, but she as always, put on a brave face, and showed us around the town she grew up in. It was strange, trying to imagine a younger Bella, running riot through the town, getting up to mischief with her friends. I would have loved to have known that Bella.

When we had been shown the house she grew up in, hearing all the stories of how she escaped at night, unbeknownst to her Dad, I found it amazing how she hadn't managed to injure herself on the climb down. The trestle was far from safe, and I admit, when Seth had encouraged her to show us how she had managed it, I felt my heart jump into my throat. There was no-way I could have stood by and let her climb it, whether she was pregnant or not. I was glad to see Emmett have a minor freak out too, it didn't make me feel quite so bad.

Another thing that had concerned me, was when we were at the store. A woman Seth had called Mrs. Crowley, had obviously upset Bella in some way, and even though Seth vaguely explained it, I knew there was more, but at both Seth's and my Mom's advice, we all left her be to deal with it in her own way. I just hoped she would come to me when she had sorted it all out in her mind.

There was definitely something bothering her throughout the whole day, even more so after the whole store incident, but she had made some phone calls, which again, were explained, but I was still heavily in the belief there was far more to the whole thing than Seth, my Mom and even Alec were letting on.

La Push was a beautiful place, the beaches, though even now, in the summer months, were still cold, the people, or 'tribe', as many had referred themselves as, were incredibly welcoming. I could see why Seth and Bella loved being around them so much. I got to meet the infamous Billy, and seeing he and Charlie together, the Brother like playfulness that could easily rival the relationship I had with both Emmett and Jasper, it was easy to see why Bella had referred to him as being almost an Uncle to her.

Back at the house, I left Bella to be with the girls, hoping that if she couldn't or wouldn't open up to me, she would to them. Maybe it was a girl thing, but I just hoped that whatever had been bothering her, she would talk to one of us about. I got the feeling my Mom already knew, and that in itself annoyed me slightly, but knowing Bella didn't have a mother figure in her life, I could in some ways understand why she had felt ok about talking with my Mom.

We were into the last five minutes of the game when we heard a growl of a car engine, then tyres skidding to a halt. At first I thought I imagined it, but looking at Em, Jazz and my Dad, I knew I hadn't. I darted up from my seat with them all, as we all barged our way to the doorway, to investigate the noises. We were just in time to see a tall, dark skinned man, climb or rather stumble from a VW rabbit. It was easy to tell he was clearly from La Push, but what concerned me the most was the sway to his walk, and the fact he had driven here.

"BELLA!" He suddenly shouted.

My concern peaked even further, upon hearing who he was calling for, and the fact I could hear the girls heading toward us. I could feel my body tense, ready to protect her, and my family. There was noway, I was going to allow this idiot near my girl, noway.

"Carlisle, what is it?" My Mom asked quietly.

"Stay inside Sweetheart," He told her, obviously like me, ready to protect his family. "Can I help you?" He stepped forward toward this unknown man, with Emmett, Jasper and myself flanking him.

"No you fucking can't. Where is she?" He didn't seem to be able to stand still, and there was a slight slur to his words.

"Where's who?" Emmett asked, his serious tone in play. He was ready.

"Bella!" His voice was sharp, his eyes hardening at her name. "I know she's in there."

"You aren't getting anywhere near her like this." I bit back. Over my dead body would he go anywhere near her.

"Fuck you!" He snapped back. "BELLA!"

"Son, Son, why don't you go home, and come back in the morning and we can talk about whatever it is then, ok." My Dad tried to calm him.

"BELLA!" Was the only response he gave.

I heard shuffling behind me, and turned to see Bella wandering forward. She looked absolutely heart broken.

"Baby, go back inside... please." I pleaded.

"Alice, can you go get my cell, and call my Dad. Just tell him Jakes here." She said, her eyes never leaving my own. "And can someone else call Seth, and tell him the same."

"BELLA, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!" The guy I now knew to call Jake yelled fiercely. I wanted to pummel him so badly, if for nothing more than for talking to her like that.

"Baby..." I pleaded with her.

"Edward, it's ok." She whispered, and made to walk past me, until I grabbed her arm, prepared to sling her over my shoulder if I had to. "Edward. I promise you, he won't hurt me." Her eyes were practically begging me to understand, but I was struggling with the idea of letting her go anywhere near this maniac. "Please Edward, understand. He won't hurt me. He's just, hurting, so badly, and there's no one to blame but me." I found that hard to believe. "Trust me."

After what felt like an excruciatingly long internal battle, I nodded and slowly let go of her arm, so as not to cause her any unbalance. She walked between my Brothers and Dad, reassuring them all it was ok. I had to trust her, I wanted to trust her, but this Jake guy was making it so difficult when he was stood on our driveway, practically shaking with anger, whilst stumbling every few seconds.

"Jake, you need to calm the hell down." Bella told him as she walked away from me, and toward him.

I watched as she walked right up to him, having to physically force myself to remain where I was. It was so hard, watching her, knowing that no matter what she thought, he could hurt her, whether it be intentionally, or just because he was the drunk. I was ready though, ready to jump from the porch at any second to put myself between the two of them. My whole body on high alert.

"Don't tell me to calm down Bells." His voice was fierce, though I thought I saw a flash of something else cross his face. "How could you!" It wasn't really a question, more of a statement, that left me wondering what it was she was meant to have done.

"Jake, please let me explain." She begged, though she was far enough away from me now that I couldn't clearly hear all of her words.

The two began exchanging heated words, though I could barely hear a thing, it didn't matter though. My eyes were trained on the both of them, mostly Bella, ready to pounce should it look as though things were getting out of hand. Both Alice and Rose had done as Bella asked, telling us that Charlie had said he would be here within fifteen minutes.

Without warning, Bella swung her hand toward Jake, slapping him clear across the face. Not surprisingly, given the sheer size of him, it looked as though it didn't faze him, even with how intoxicated he was. I however was stepping forward, more than willing to make sure he felt something. My Mom grasped the back of my shirt, halting my movement. I turned to look at her, questioning why she was preventing me from protecting her.

"Trust her sweetie." She murmured.

I couldn't even begin to fathom how she could be so calm. Even Emmett seemed to be vibrating with the need to jump in. We knew nothing about this man who had turned up on our doorstep, drunk beyond belief, and here were the women in my family trusting him to not hurt her. They definitely had more faith than I did.

"DON'T YOU DARE!" Bella screamed suddenly, as her tiny fists began hammering against his chest. "DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME I DON'T CARE! YOU... KNOW... NOTHING!"

I couldn't take the pain in her voice. She sounded so broken hearted. Neither could Jake by the looks of it, as he said something to her, and began collapsing to the ground in a weeping heap. In a quick change of mood, Bella crumbled with him, their arms wrapped around each other as they sat, remaining huddled together, rocking back and forth.

I looked to my family, seeing just as much confusion on their faces as I imagined was on my own. My Mom the only one seemingly to understand anything was crying. Great big, fat tears rolling down her rosy cheeks.

"What the hell is going on here?" Emmett asked quietly, or as quietly as Emmett ever could.

"Fuck if I know." I hissed.

"Shh, they need this." My Mom scolded us.

As much as I love my Mom, I absolutely despised the fact she knew more about this whole situation, about Bella, than I, her boyfriend, did. Why couldn't she have told me, she knew she could come to me with absolutely anything, so why not this. More than that, I felt helpless, standing here, watching over the two of them, knowing I couldn't help because I didn't know what was wrong.

We must have been stood there for another five minutes, all watching the scene in front of us. Neither Bella or Jake had moved from their spots, still rocking each other comfortingly back and forth. It was then I heard a car driving up the road toward us, and I knew it was Charlie. I don't think I've ever been so grateful to see Bella's Dad, but I selfishly wanted him to take Jake, and then Bella could come and explain to us what the hell was going on.

Charlie's cruiser pulled up behind the still idling VW rabbit, and out got both Charlie and Seth. Neither moved immediately toward Bella and Jake, both just looking at them with a knowing, yet sad expression on their faces. Charlie eventually wandered over to the pair, followed by Seth. Jake began saying something to Charlie, who nodded along, agreeing as he wrapped one of Jake's arms across his shoulders and hefted him to his feet. Seth helped Bella to hers, before hugging her tightly, saying something I couldn't hear.

I couldn't take it any more, and began walking toward them, quickly followed by the rest of my family. Seth turned and gave us all a sad smile before going to help Charlie put Jake into the back of the cruiser. Bella turned to face us, her eyes red, tear stains on her cheeks. Her eyes were filled with a pain that was indescribable, like she had gone through something so terrible, it was unimaginable.

"Baby?" I went to her, cupping her face in my hands.

"I'm sor... sorry." She hiccuped as she began to cry again.

"It's ok Baby, everything will be ok." I think I was trying to convince myself more of that, but she didn't need to know that.

"I... I have to... go with him."

"What?" I realized too late that my voice had risen slightly.

"I have to Edward." She told me sadly. "Please understand. He's... hurting right now... and it's because of me."

I couldn't believe her, I wouldn't believe her. There was no way she had hurt him. She hadn't done anything. He was the one who had turned up here, hammered, shouting the odds. Yet she somehow thought it was her fault.

"I promise, I will explain... everything, when I come back."

I wanted nothing more than to demand that she stay with us now, and explain everything, but I simply found myself nodding, my chest tightening at the thought of her being away from me.

She leant up and kissed my lips softly, lingering momentarily, before backing away, our hands staying linked until the very last possible moment. She walked backwards, her eyes, staying on me, as she made her way to her Dad's cruiser. She climbed in, and within seconds, they were gone.

"Mom?" I called, my eyes remaining on where I had last seen Bella. "You know what this is about don't you?" I finally turned to face her.

"I do, sweetheart." She agreed sadly.

"Tell me." It wasn't necessarily a demand, since I knew no matter what my mood, I could never talk to my Mom in that way.

"Honey, I wished I could, but it isn't my story to tell. But she will tell you, when she is ready."

I accepted her answer, and walked past my family back into the house, heading straight to the room I was meant to be sharing with Bella. Whilst I understood why my Mom couldn't tell me what she knew, it didn't mean that I liked the idea that she did know. On top of that, Bella had told me she would explain everything when she came back. But when would that be? Where exactly were they going now?

Ok so I knew she would be safe. She was with her Dad and Seth after all, but it would never stop me from worrying. She was physically ok, but what about all the stuff that was said between Bella and Jake before Charlie and Seth arrived, or even what would be said when they got to wherever they were going.

There were so many thoughts flying around in my head. I felt unsettled, anxious. I just wanted Bella to come back now. I wouldn't even ask for an explanation if she did.

I didn't sleep all night. In fact, after a while, I couldn't even begin to stand being in the same room that I had spent the night with her in, the previous night. The idea of getting into the bed we had shared, was just beyond my comprehension at the moment. So after I felt sure everyone had retired for the rooms for the night, whether that was to sleep or not, though how anyone could sleep was beyond me, I went back down stairs and sat in the living room, staring blankly out of the window. I tried piecing things together as best as I could, using all the information I had learnt about Bella, since I met her, but I was still no closer to figuring it out. I felt infuriated with myself.

The sun was just beginning to rise, when I headed into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee, knowing I would be needing lots of caffeine to get me through the day. Not long after my Mom entered the room, looking much like I felt, though clearly she had managed to get more sleep than I. She offered me a small smile, taking the offered mug of coffee, before sitting at the table.

"Sweetheart, I know you're angry with me for not being able to tell you, but..."

"I'm not angry Mom. I'm frustrated, and confused." I interrupted her, hating that she thought I was mad with her. "And worried." I added.

"I know you have no reason to trust Jake, but try to trust Bella. She wouldn't have told you he wouldn't hurt her, if she didn't truly believe he wouldn't." I hated that she was right.

One by one, the rest of my family got up, all looking on edge, some more rested than others. The fact Bella wasn't with us, was like a giant elephant in the room. There was no point in even trying to behave normally, or go on with our day, considering it was clear that none of us would be able to focus on anything other than Bella, and the whole scene right outside, last night.

At turned seven am, there was a huge roaring noise, followed by the sound of an engine back firing. I was out of my chair faster than lightening, darting toward the door, getting there just in time to see an exhausted Bella, climbing the front steps. On seeing me, she smiled weakly. I didn't care about anything right then, other than getting her into my arms. Closing the last remaining steps between us, I lifted her into my arms, and squeezed her tight, taking a mental inventory of her body, trying to check for any obvious injuries, and thankfully finding none.

Pulling back to get a good look at her, I was met by swollen red eyes, that looked lifeless. She was pale, paler than usual anyway, her hair had been pulled back into a messy bun, and she was still wearing some of my sweats from the night before, though they were now incredibly crumpled. I didn't care about any of that though, she was back in my arms where she belonged.

"I am really sorry about last night." She told me, as I lead her into the house.

"Shh, it's ok Baby." And right now, it was.

She seemed a little hesitant about coming in, though I guess that was understandable. She clearly felt guilty for what had happened, and even though I knew she had no reason to, I knew it wouldn't stop those feelings until she saw everyone and found for herself that no-one blamed her.

We hadn't even got all the way into the kitchen, when my Mom pulled her into a hug, asking her if everything was ok. I managed to hear her response of yes, and saw the tears welling in her eyes again. I pulled her with me, taking a seat before pulling her into my lap, not being able to face having any distance, regardless of how small, between us.

"I'm so sorry for last night guys." She began, immediately hearing everyone tell her not to be. "I know it may not seem it after... well everything. But Jake is too." I found that hard to believe, but fought to keep my mouth shut. "He's uh, well he's hurting right now, and I played a part in that." She told us. "See, the thing is... I haven't been completely open with you, there are some things, that I should have told you, but it... it hurts, and the longer I left it, the harder it got."

I could see that she was fighting exhaustion, and at any other time I would have told her this could wait, but I wasn't sure it could.

"Bella, whatever it is, you can tell us." My Dad encouraged.

"I think... I think, it would just be easier to show you to start off with."

Obviously not knowing where she was going with all of this, we followed her instructions to go and get dressed, though since I had already showered and changed much earlier this morning, she was able to go and have a few moments of privacy. I had wanted to go with her, but there had been a small voice in my head that stopped me in my tracks, telling me to give her time to gather herself. Whatever it was that she was trying to tell us, was obviously pretty hard on her.

When we she came back down, she didn't look much better, but I kind of figured she wouldn't, only getting off her chest what she needed and some sleep would help. Once everyone was ready, she lead us outside, straight for her old Chevy truck she had driven here this morning. Without a word, I followed her, whilst everyone else piled into other cars to follow us.

Neither of us spoke, I surmised it was more because neither of us knew what to say, rather than not wanting to say anything. She drove us in the direction of La Push, though when we got closer, she took a different turning than the one she had directed us down last night. I was getting more than a little curious now. Was she taking us to see Jake? I hoped not, I wasn't sure how I would feel about seeing him right now. I still felt some anger at him for speaking to her the way he had last night.

She finally pulled up in a small gravel parking lot, overlooking the beach. It was a beautiful view, but I suspected that wasn't the reason why she had brought us here. We climbed out of the truck, and she immediately took my hand. I was relieved that after everything, she was still wanting to be near me. It would have killed me, had she hesitated or refused.

"Rose, are you ok for a little walking. It isn't far, but it can get a little rocky in places?" She asked as we all regrouped, beside the cars.

Once she was sure Rose was going to be ok, keeping her hand in my own, she began leading the way toward a small path, that lead further up the hill, toward what looked like the top of a cliff. I remember she had told us, the night before, as we were entering La Push, that as kids, they had gone cliff diving. Though she had thankfully admitted it had been years since she had done it, and she had never managed to get the nerve up to go as high as everyone else, choosing to stay with Angela on the lower ledges.

She kept the pace steady, though it wasn't any heavy climbing or anything. The closer we got to the destination, the more I noticed Bella's hand gripping my own tighter and tighter. It wasn't anything really noticeable at first, but soon it became obvious, her small hand, gripping my own like a vice. I didn't say anything, knowing if this is what she needed to get through this, then so be it.

Though for a change, the sun was out, and shining down upon us, with minimal clouds in the sky, there was still a chill, probably down to the sea breeze if anything, as the higher we got, and closer to the sea we got, the colder it got, though thankfully due to our walking, it was barely noticeable.

Eventually, after maybe a good half a mile, we finally seemed to be coming to an end of our little hike. The trees getting less and less, until we finally came to an opening. By this point, Bella's grip on my hand was full on, to the extent that I was sure I would be bruised later.

Without warning, Bella halted her movements, so quickly that Emmett walked straight into the back of me. Bella, was so tense, it actually looked painful for her. Her breathing had become shallow, panicked even.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I asked her gently.

"Uh... shit... just give me... just give me a minute." She stuttered, clearly trying to pull herself together.

I looked helplessly toward my family. This was not usual behaviour, an surely, if this whole thing was giving her this much anxiety, it wasn't worth it. My mom, clearly seeing my distress, and knowing why Bella was too, stepped toward us both, giving me an encouraging smile, before cupping Bella's reddened cheeks in her hands.

"Sweetheart..." My Mom began, trying to soothe Bella as much as she could, though it now seemed as though Bella was now entering a panic attack, tears beginning to crawl down her cheeks onto my Mom's hands. "Sweetheart listen to me." She bent, catching eye contact with Bella. "We don't have to do this. _You_ don't have to do this."

My Mom pulled her into a hug, shushing her and rocking her, my fingers still linked tightly with Bella's. Looking around us at the remaining members of my family, I saw just as much confusion, worry and intrigue as I felt. We all wanted to know what this whole secret Bella had been keeping was, but not at the expense of Bella upsetting herself.

I was preparing myself for forcing us to turn around and return home, when Bella and my Mom began whispering to each other, before parting. Bella mumbled apologies, though offered no explanation, and gently gave a tug on my hand.

We walked over a small mound of earth, that was covered in grass, a deep green colour, though it was by far rich and healthy. It looked rough and weathered. It wasn't until we strolled down the other side, that I began to understand all of Bella's anxieties.

Right in front of us, maybe fifty yards or less, was a granite headstone.

From our current distance, I couldn't read the writing, but there was a fresh looking spray of flowers, like they had been placed there in the last day or so. Silence fell among us, as we got closer and closer, all of us having by now noticed what it was we were here for.

Bella stopped beside the graveside, as we all circled around, getting a clear view of whose grave it was. The inscription on the grey granite, etched in black was 'Gained her wings and learnt how to fly. Vanessa 'Nessie' Black. Born September tenth nineteen eighty one. Died January Twenty-fifth two thousand and nine Beloved Wife, Daughter, Sister and Friend.'

I was still slightly confused about the whole thing. What did Bella have to do with this 'Nessie'?

"Everyone meet Nessie... Jake's wife." Bella whispered, her voice so full of pain it was almost crippling. "And my Sister."

**What. The. Fuck!**

Now that, I hadn't been expecting. I heard small gasps for air coming from my family, but I felt like I was frozen in shock. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I just kept looking at the gravestone, expecting Bella to turn around and say 'gotcha' or something.

"This is the family emergency I had in college, this is why I hate coming back here." Bella told us in a small voice.

I don't know exactly why, maybe it was because we were stood at a graveside, but there were no questions flung at Bella, at all. There was just a silence. I still felt like I was in a state of shock. I was both annoyed at Bella for having not told me sooner, but also understanding why she didn't. I don't know as if I, God forbid, ever lost either Emmett or Alice, would freely and openly talk about it.

Of course I had questions, I had tons. Like why she kept it from us. How Nessie died. How this had anything to do with Bella's dislike for coming back here. Why Jake had been so upset with her last night. And there were millions more where they came from. But right now, right now, we were paying our respect to Bella's Sister, a Sister, I would never get to meet, or talk to, or learn Bella's childhood stories from.

My mind wandered to how Bella had coped through all this. Just thinking about Alice or Emmett being taken away from me, hell even Jasper or Rose, caused my chest to tighten in fear. It was unthinkable for me. I pulled Bella into my chest, holding onto her tightly, as she broke into tears, letting them fall freely, as I held on, encouraging her to let it all out.

After a while, my family began backing away, giving Bella some space. I was sorely tempted to join them, and knew I should, Bella needed some privacy, maybe she liked to talk to Nessie, a lot of people did.

"Baby, do you want a few minutes alone?" I asked gently. She seemed unsure as to what exactly it was she wanted. "I'll be right over there." I told her, pointing out to where everyone else was stood.

Giving her a parting kiss, I walked away though it killed me to do so. Walking away felt almost like I was leaving her to deal with everything on her own. My Mom hugged me to her the moment I reached them, obviously having know about this all along. I strangely couldn't blame her for keeping this to herself, as much as I wanted to. This was a part of Bella's life, that was down to her to share, and her alone.

Watching Bella broke my heart. She had sat down on the grass beside the headstone, pulling her knees to her chest and resting her arms and head on them. Having already done the math, Nessie had been dead for just over two years, and I couldn't help but wonder, how many times Bella had been here in those years. From the looks of it, and from what she had said, it hadn't been very often.

As is usual of Seattle, and it's surrounding areas, clouds sped in quickly, hiding the sun, and taking with it, the slight heat it had offered. I wanted to give Bella more time, but it was getting too cold to stay much longer. Before I could do or say anything though, Bella climbed to her feet, kissing her finger tips and pressing the stone gently, before wandering lifelessly back toward us.

She didn't say anything, she simply collapsed into my arms, and let me lead her back toward the cars. When we got closer, she dug her truck keys from her pocket, ready to climb behind the wheel. Without a word, I gently took them from her grasp and tossed them toward Emmett who having obviously known what I was going to do, was waiting for them.

What actually scared me the most at that point, was Bella not fighting me on it. It wasn't like her, not at all. I think we all noticed the defeated look on her face, and all felt the same worry, hoping it was just the toll of the night before, and the pure emotion this morning, that had zapped what remaining energy she had.

The drive back home, was, as expected, silent. None of us seemed to know what to say, or even do, to try to make this better, easier for her. In truth, there was probably nothing, but I hated feeling helpless. I had always felt the need to fix things for my loved ones, but with Bella, it only seemed to be magnified. I had such a strong desire to protect her, and care for her. But more than that, I just wanted to love her.

By the time we pulled up in the drive way back at home, Bella seemed to have managed to gather herself some, to actually lead me and the rest of the family toward the living room. I did however pull her into my lap, needing to feel a closeness to her, wanting her to know, that I was here, and I wasn't going anywhere.

"I guess you have a lot of questions." Bella stated.

"Sweetheart, I think I can speak for us all, when I say, that if you would like to be alone for a while, or don't want to talk about it further, then it is ok." My Dad told her.

Like my Mom, he looked pained for her. He thought of Bella as another Daughter, he had for some time. And as I had come to know over the years, when one of us were in pain, so were they. I guess it was a parents prerogative, to want to take their child's pain, and shoulder as much of it as possible.

"No, it's ok. You deserve to have your questions answered."

I think we were all in the same boat, knowing what questions we wanted to ask, but not knowing where to start. I certainly didn't want to bombard her with question after question, but there were so many I wanted to know the answer to.

"You've said before, you're Dad is all the family you have left, what about your Mom?" Jasper began, after what felt like forever without anyone coming forward.

"I don't know." She shrugged. "She left when I was just a baby. I don't remember anything about her. Nessie did, but me... never." I could almost hear my Mom trying to keep it together.

"What was she like?" Alice asked in such a small voice, I actually had to do a double take to make sure it was her. "Nessie, I mean, not your Mom."

"She was such a bitch sometimes. But everyone else thought she was the all American sweetheart. While my Dad was working, my Gran watched us, but she died when I was six, so Nessie, being seven years older, had to shoulder a lot of responsibility for me. I know it can't have been easy, I was always getting into something I shouldn't. But I was a kid, and I just wanted to have fun."

"Everything I did, always felt as though it was being overshadowed by something Nessie did. I remember being maybe nine, and bringing a report card home that held my very first A, but that same day, just as I was a showing my Dad, Nessie came in, making a big deal over the fact hers were full of A's. So I guess after a while, I kind of figured if I didn't get attention for doing good stuff, I was sure to get it for doing bad stuff. And that's when I started getting the reputation of the delinquent. It was all harmless kid stuff really, sneaking out, mostly to meet with Mike, Angela and Ben to tell Ghost stories in the local grave yard, and then in later years, parties."

"Nessie hated it, because she always got the blame for not watching me properly. On more than one occasion she got punished, since she was always paying more attention to Jake, than me." She smiled slightly. "Well, until the first time I snook out when my Dad was home."

"When she went to college, I think she realized why I did what I did, and we got on much better. We started covering for each other when I wanted to sneak out to parties, and she wanted to spend the night with Jake, or when he had to bring her home drunk after a party so my Dad didn't catch her. The amount of weekends in a row that we used the excuse she had a stomach bug or something. I'm pretty sure he had to know, since he always used to threaten to take her to hospital, but never did."

"She understood my reasoning's for needing to go away for college, she understood better than anyone. Better than Angela, even better than Mike, and he went with me."

"So she and Jake had been together for a while?" Alice asked again.

"Uh, yeah. I think they were about ten maybe. But of course then it was all kind of innocent. Jake used to like to tell everyone that he proposed to her then, but in reality, they didn't become like official and serious until they were about fourteen maybe. I just always remember him being around. I don't think I have any good memories that he wasn't included in." There was that little smile again. "They got married when she was twenty-four. My Dad went ape at first when he saw my bridesmaid dress, he thought it made me look too old, but Nessie wore him down, little did he know that, that dress helped score me a few drinks from the bar man that night. Guess he didn't know he was serving a fifteen year old"

I had to agree. Having seen the picture of Bella in her bridesmaid dress, I would never have thought she was fifteen at that time. If anything she looked at least eighteen, but at a guess, I would have bet much closer to twenty one.

"What caused Jake to be so upset last night?" Rose asked.

"After bumping into Mrs. Crowley yesterday, who lets face it, if gossiping was an Olympic sport, she would be a gold medallist every four years. She basically told someone, who told someone else, that I was pregnant. But as is the game of Chinese whispers, the story Jake got told, was that I had a one night stand, and the only reason I had come home, was because I was trying to figure out what to do."

"And Jake doesn't agree with abortion." Rose stated.

"Not really no."

"He didn't know about you being a surrogate." Rose added again.

"No." Bella replied, a shameful look crossing her face. "I meant to tell him, my Dad and his Dad, Billy, practically begged me to, or let them. But I wanted to do it myself, but I knew I couldn't do it over the phone. And it just kind of snowballed out of control, and even now, he had to find out through some gossiper, who didn't even know the whole story."

There was more to why Jake was upset, I knew it, I just wasn't sure what it was, but before I could ask, Jasper had also seemingly come up with a theory of his own.

"Forgive me Bella, but uh, how did Nessie die?"

Now Jasper had mentioned it, my train of thought went into overdrive, coming to the conclusion, that Nessie's death had something to do with a child, maybe during child birth.

The whole room went silent, all of us wanting to know how, or why, but all unsure as to how Bella would react to such a question.

"Right after they got married, they started trying for a baby. They had their own house down in La Push, Jake had his own garage, and Nessie had just qualified as a nurse. Anyway after maybe just over a year of trying, and no results, they went to the doctor. I remember Nessie coming home to Dad's house that day and sitting with me crying for hours. She never said what was wrong with her, just that she couldn't have a baby."

Oh. Holy. Fuck.

This whole scenario rang too true to be believable. I could tell it did with everyone else. Rose was sat there tears streaming down her face, knowing exactly how Nessie would have felt that day.

"I was seventeen, I didn't understand it all but kept telling her everything would be ok. A couple of weeks went by, and Nessie just never picked back up, she had always been so happy go lucky, but it was like the life had been taken from her. Anyway, when they went back to the doctors, they were offered some treatment or something, and it was like the old Nessie was back. They were warned that the treatments could take a year plus to be effective, and even maybe then, it might not happen for them, but Nessie was convinced that she was going to be a Mom."

Rose reached out for Bella's hand, like she was offering her support, or something. Both my Mom and Alice were by now crying silent tears, and Emmett, Jasper and My Dad, myself included, all had tears welling at an increasing rate.

"I was at college when I got the call from her to say that they hadn't worked. I tried to be supportive, telling her about all the other options they had, but it was like nothing worked. She got depressed, and the doctor prescribed her some anti-depressants, which seemed to do the trick. They started looking into adoption and stuff. By this point, I was in touch with her nearly every other day, sometimes she was having a good day, other times not so much."

"Every time I spoke to her, it was like there was less and less of the same Nessie there. But this one day, she called, and she was so different. Upbeat, happy even, telling me that they had got this new case worker at the adoption agency, and they were really good." Bella began to sob gently, as I pulled her into me closer, having an idea of where this was going. "Two days later, Jake came home from work and found her laid in bed. She hadn't been taking her medication, and had saved them all up and taken them all including some pain killers Jake had been prescribed months previous after he had fallen off his bike." Bella's sobs became cries as she shook in my lap. "Her last... words... in that conversation... to me, were... 'It's all looking... good... Bells, it'll... be all ok soon.'" Bella collapsed into tears, choking on each breath.

I held Bella close to my chest, feeling each tear drip onto me. I cried into her shoulder, as I noticed all my family fall to pieces around me.

"I should... should have called... someone. They... could have... stopped her."

Hearing the absolute guilt in her voice broke my heart. She had been carrying around this guilt for two years, and whilst I didn't agree with her blaming herself, it was a testimony to her, and how strong she was.

I didn't know what to say to her. I wanted to deny her guilt, but would hearing that there was nothing she could have done make her feel even worse. I looked to my parents, knowing they had heard her, and wanting them to either take over what to say, or at least give me a hint of what I should.

"Sweetheart." My Mom wept, as she clambered to her feet and squeezed on the sofa beside me so she could see Bella's face. "I know it's not the easiest thing to hear, but there is nothing you or anyone else could have done to prevent this."

My Mom kept talking to her until she finally fell to sleep in my arms. She was cried out, exhausted from I now knew not just from last night and today, but from the sheer amount of emotions running through her just knowing she was coming to Forks, and of course, from the guilt of the last few years catching up to her.

My Dad was on the phone to work, explaining that neither of us would be in tomorrow, and everyone else was making their own arrangements with work too, since all of us felt too spent to even consider driving back to Seattle. After speaking to whoever at work, my Dad called Charlie and explained about the events of this morning and enquiring about Jake.

The conversation was still going when I lifted Bella into my arms after checking she was in a deep sleep, and taking her up to bed.

"Stay." She murmured as I laid her down in bed.

Without another word, I crept into bed beside her, where she immediately cuddled into my chest and fell back to sleep, leaving me with thoughts of all the information I had gathered from today.

**PHEW! So now you all know the BIG secret. Was it what you were expecting? As good as you were expecting? Please leave me some feedback with your thoughts, I would really love to know, PLEASE :D :D :D :D**


	28. Keep holding on

Disclaimer : I don't own diddly squat, so there!

****PLEASE READ** This is going to be the last chapter for a while. I put my absolute heart and soul into the last chapter, and I got exactly one review. I don't expect millions, but getting one person telling me their thoughts isn't too encouraging. As of right now, my plan is to finish writing this for me, and maybe update it once it's complete. Thank you to those who do read it, and the few who have in the past reviewed :)**

_**Big thank you** goes out to the one reviewer of the last chapter **Linz832**, thank you for taking the time to review for me **:) :) :) :)**_

Chapter 28

_Keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
Just stay strong  
'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
There's nothing you could say  
Nothing you could do  
There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
So keep holding on  
'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through_

_Avril Lavigne – Keep holding on_

Bella had been sleeping for a little over two hours. I had been sat beside her the whole time, my mind whirling with activity, questions that flitted into my mind, one after the other. I was in desperate need of answers to them, but at the same time, I didn't want to ask them, for fear of upsetting her further.

Whilst I knew Bella wouldn't want us to treat her any different, I wasn't sure how we could avoid that right now. She had given us so much information, with little to no warning about it. Not that I can say I blame her for not being open about her Sister, and the events leading to her death. If God forbid anything ever happened to Emmett or Alice, hell even Jasper and Rose, I doubt I would cope as admirably as Bella had.

And she had. She had taken everything on board, and decided to take all the hurt she had inside, and do something completely amazing with it. I could remember when Em and Rose had brought her to my parents house that first evening to introduce her to us, and when asked why she was doing this, her response had been something along the lines of having seen first hand what it was like for families who were unable to have children, the pain they had felt. And she had wanted to at least prevent one family from feeling that. Obviously when she had said first hand, none of us, had any clue as to how close to seeing or even feeling that pain she had been.

Another thing that had been running through my mind while she had been sleeping, was my worry over her. Or more specifically, my worry over the guilt she had been harbouring. It might only have been a small amount of guilt, but it was there none the less. I understood why she would feel the way she did. The last time she had spoken to her Sister, there had been changes in her mood, but even if she had called her Dad or Jake, it would have been unlikely that they would have even picked up on it. Bella had said that she had her good days and her bad days, and with being on prescribed antidepressants, there was bound to be a shifts in her moods. Granted she hadn't been taking them, but Bella wasn't to know that.

It was a mess, and I had no idea how to help her through this. I wanted to suggest going to see a therapist, but I wasn't so sure that would go down too well, especially considering Nessie had probably had one of those too. I knew I couldn't just ignore it. Guilt had a way of eating away at you, and I would be damned if I allowed that to happen to Bella.

"How is she?" My Mom popped her head around the door.

"Still asleep." I replied, glancing back down at the beauty sleeping beside me.

My Mom nodded her head sadly, and left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts once more.

Looking at Bella, and feeling the love I held for her swell in my chest, I couldn't help but feel for Jake. Of course I was still mad at him for how he went about things the night before, but my sorrow for him, and all he had been through, easily drowned out my anger.

I had only known Bella for six months, loved her for a little less, and only been dating her a week, but already, I couldn't imagine my life without her. Only a week ago, I had freaked out when she had said she was going to move out. I couldn't even begin to imagine how Jake felt. His wife of four years, his partner of fourteen, and his best friend of life, had been snatched from his life. And even worse was that it had been Nessie that chose to. How would one even begin to cope with that knowledge. I knew with utmost certainty, that regardless of how it happened, I wouldn't cope without Bella, nor did I even want to try.

That should probably scare the crap out of me, after only being with her for a week, but it didn't. I had known for sometime that she was the one for me, and there would never be another. I could clearly see me putting a ring on her finger one day, having children of our own, and growing old and grey together. My life, was now completely wrapped up in Bella. Which made the decision to get through all of this, together, that much easier.

I was still sat loyally beside her an hour later when her eyes started fluttering, a sign that she was slowly waking up. I sat quietly, torn between wanting her to sleep longer, knowing she needed it, but selfishly wanting her to wake up, so that I could see with my own two eyes, that we were going to be ok, that she was going to be ok.

When she did wake up, her eyes blinked a few times, focusing on her surroundings, probably a little confused as to where she was, especially considering the last thing she would have seen was the living room.

"Hey Baby, how you feeling?" I asked softly, leaning down to leave a lingering kiss on her forehead.

She sat up beside me, without answering, and began picking at the skin around her nails. Her head bowed, almost like she was a child waiting to be scolded.

"Do you hate me now?" It took a few moments for her words to register, her voice was that quiet.

"Why on Earth would I hate you Baby?" I asked incredulously.

I sat as patiently as I could waiting for an answer. I wanted to be angry with her, for ever thinking I could ever hate her, but I knew there had to be a reason for her to think that. I just hadn't got the foggiest what it would be.

"I should have told you." She whispered.

So she thought I would hate her, because she hadn't told me. Whilst I could slightly understand that, I also knew it couldn't be further from the truth. Reaching across her body, I grasped her thigh of the leg that was furthest away from me, and tugged gently until she was sat on my lap facing me. I cupped her chin, bringing her eyes up to look into mine.

"Baby, I could never, ever hate you," I told her. "There is nothing in this world that you can say that will ever make me hate you."

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you." She murmured, a small tear escaping her eye.

"There's nothing to be sorry about Baby, just know, you can tell me anything, ok."

We sat quietly for a while, I was more than content just feeling her cuddled into my chest, listening to her breath. It was like nothing else mattered, we were in our own little bubble.

"Since she died, I've only ever been to see her a few times," Bella whimpered eventually. "Does that make me a bad person?"

"No, it doesn't." I told her firmly, though not too firm that she thought I was mad. "You don't have to visit a grave to remember a person. And although I've never met Nessie, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't care, because she is always with you, and you with her." I hoped I was making sense, because I wasn't too sure I was.

"I miss her." Bella wept.

"I know Baby, I know." I wrapped my arms around her, stroking her back soothingly.

After a while her sobbing ceased, and I actually thought she had fallen back to sleep, when I felt her lips press against the side of my neck. I honestly didn't think much of it at first, I had been kissing her forehead every so often over the last half an hour or so. But then it became blatantly obvious, there was a much stronger reason behind her kisses, when she pulled back slightly, and kissed her way up my jaw to my lips.

My initial reaction had been to respond, my lips moving in sync with hers. But like a lightening bolt, the moment her hands reached for my shirt, and began unbuttoning it, I was shocked into action. I began slowing the kiss, before placing my hands over hers, stilling her movements. My dick I'm sure was cussing me out right about now for stopping her, but I couldn't in good conscience let this go any further regardless of how much I wanted it to.

"Bella." I groaned, wanting more than anything to just go with it.

"You don't want me."

Fucking shit!

"No Baby."

Bella quickly backed away from me, like I had struck her. It was then I realized exactly what my words were, and how they would have sounded to her. I was a complete douche.

"Baby, no I didn't mean it... fuck. Hold on." I stumbled over my words, as I jumped forward, reaching out to grasp her hand. "I do want you. So badly Bella it kills me. But just not... just not like this." I linked our fingers, trying my very best to get her to understand. "I don't want to... I don't want our first time to be a knee jerk reaction to this weekend."

I watched her expression change from one of hurt, to one of mild understanding. There still seemed to be some doubt there, and I was pretty sure some of her insecurities about being pregnant may also have been tossed in there. This whole thing had just snow balled out of control. Part of me just thought I should have let it carry on, it was what she wanted and needed from me right now, but then the other part, the bigger part I have to add, had clearly won out and stopped me, not wanting there to be any regrets further on down the line.

"I want so much for us Baby. I want to take my time and cherish and worship you. I want to wine and dine you. I want to show you how much you mean to me. And most of all, I want to do it in _our_ home, where we won't be interrupted by _our_ family." I told her, emphasizing the 'ours' so she would know or hopefully know, how very much she meant to me.

She nodded and climbed back into my lap and just hugged me, whispering her apologies and thanks. I didn't need them though, she was my everything, and I wanted nothing but the best for her.

A week later, and the subject of us having sex had yet to be brought back up. I wasn't about to push her into anything, I wanted her to be the one to chose, and truly be ok with her choice.

We had made strides forward however. On returning home, Bella had simply appeared every night in my bed, never once returning to the guest room. I don't think I have ever been happier when it became pretty obvious that she had no intention of going back there. It wasn't a sudden move, everything pretty much remained the same, except where she slept. But then slowly but surely, her belongings began finding themselves in my room, or rather what I now thought of as our room. It had only been a week, but I already couldn't imagine going to sleep at night without her by my side.

Two weeks into our relationship, and everything just seemed so natural. It was almost as though nothing had changed between us at all, except the fact I was able to touch and kiss her as often as I wanted. And that was a definite perk. Before, every touch, was too over thought, not wanting to freak her out, because I thought of her as more than a friend.

As for everything else Forks related. We had sat and talked as just a couple, and then with the rest of the family. Bella sat patiently and answered so many more questions, more tears were spilled, and not just by Bella. We had met Jake, who apologized profusely for his behaviour, but by this point, it was needless. And in a completely shocking move, he had announced that he was going to get some help, because like Bella, he was constantly carrying guilt around, and it was eating away at him. And in an even more surprising announcement on our drive home, after only very minimal nudging, Bella agreed that she maybe ought to look into some counselling sessions.

I had picked her up only a few days later, after her first session, to find a red eyed, but smiling Bella. She hadn't said much of what went on in the room, but that Doctor Banner made her see some things differently. How differently, I wasn't sure, but I wasn't going to pry further, knowing she would tell me as and when she was ready. All I knew was that when Alice skirted around the idea of returning to Forks soon, Bella had agreed without any hesitancy, something that I truthfully hadn't been expecting.

"Yes Em, I will make sure she gets plenty to drink in the morning." I told my Brother, after he called to nag me for the twentieth time. "Goodnight Emmett." I snapped my phone shut, only for it to ring seconds later. "What?" I answered.

"That was so uncalled for Bro. At least let me say good night to B." He whined.

"Hi Em. Yes, we're fine... Trying to go to sleep actually... what?... Uh, yeah sure I guess..." Bella giggled beside me as she held the phone to her stomach. "You're good to go Em." She said loud enough for him to have heard her.

Both Bella and I stifled our laughter as we could hear the muffled sounds of Em telling Pip goodnight. Em it seemed was very conscious of the fact that since the baby Rose was carrying, was around him more, he felt the need to lavish Pip with just as much attention whenever he was around Bella. Bella was very gracious, offering both Em and Rose belly time whenever they wanted.

"Ok, night Em." Bella said finally, passing me back my phone.

"I think someone's a little excited for the sonogram tomorrow." I chuckled, as I scooted down in the bed beside Bella. "How do you feel about it?"

"I just want to know everything's ok with Pip."

"We get to hear the heart beat tomorrow right?"

"Yeah, and Rose hopes the sex too." Bella stroked the small bulge of her belly. "It's doubtful to be able to see this early, but she's hopeful."

"So they've decided they want to know?"

For weeks now, Em and Rose had been arguing over whether or not they wanted to know both babies sex. Em was adamant that he wanted a surprise, after all, Rose being pregnant at all was a huge surprise, and he thought it best to continue the tradition so to speak. Rose's counter argument was to keep the baby she was carrying, which they had affectionately dubbed Peanut, a secret, and since Pip was expected, they could find out Pip's sex. Em argued yet against that saying that they should treat both babies fairly. So in other words, the argument simply went round and round in circles, with both of them attempting to drag Bella in at every opportunity.

"Nope." Bella smiled, rolling her eyes. "But Rose's scan is next week, and they should be able to see the sex easily by then if Peanut is in the right position."

"Would you want to know?"

"I don't know. I mean sure, it'd be nice I guess to know so the right things could be bought, but I also like the idea of a surprise. What about you?"

"I don't really mind either way. So long as they look like you." I replied.

Honestly, I hadn't thought anything of my response, until Bella, turned onto her side and looked at me. Her face full of surprise, excitement, love? I realized then I had implied that we would have children together. We hadn't talked about it, not since the morning we decided to give us a go, and I had declared that in some ways I wished Pip was ours.

"You... you want... to..."

"Yeah, someday. I wanna do everything with you Baby." I told her sincerely.

Tears pooled in her eyes, and I mentally chastised myself for upsetting her, though I wasn't really one hundred percent sure how I had done that. I had assumed she had taken on board what I had said previously about wishing Pip was mine. But now, I was filled with doubt. Was she upset because she didn't want that with me? Was she upset because I was assuming too much? Going too fast? Shit!

"Baby... I'm sorry... I didn't..." I began trying to back track.

"No... No. I just... I just can't believe..."

Ah she didn't think I had been serious about her being it for me. If I didn't love her so much, I'd probably find her lack of self confidence infuriating. She didn't see herself clearly, and I so wished she did. Then she would see what I saw, what every guy saw when she walked by them.

"Baby. I am so in love with you." I told her. "You. Are. It. For. Me." I announced. "I love you Isabella Swan."

It wasn't exactly how I had seen myself telling her how I felt for the first time, but I guess so long as she believed me, it wouldn't matter whether I had a plane spell it out in the sky for her. The result was the same, she would know.

Without a word, Bella crawled into my lap, both her small smooth hands pressed against my cheeks as she stared long and hard into my eyes. It was like she was trying to have a conversation with me, but without words, just looks. She moved slightly, and I do quite literally only mean a mere inch, before her lips pressed so softly, so lightly against mine. There was nothing rushed, or forced by it, it was almost like she was trying to tell me, that we had all the time in the world, and I could only hope I was right.

"God, I hope you mean that." Bella whispered, her eyes remaining closed as she rest her forehead against mine. "Because I love you too." She sighed, sounding both happy and relieved.

"You do?" I asked in slight shock.

Whilst I had figured out Bella had feelings for me, I hadn't been sure that she was in love with me. I hadn't told her simply because I wanted her to reciprocate, I hadn't even expected her to. But God, it felt so good to hear her say those words. I felt like I was flying.

"How could I not?" She asked. "You are an amazing man, gorgeous, loving, caring, one of my very best friends. Just being near you, it feels like there is electricity in the air zapping away at me. I know you're near before I see you. I feel safe with you. I trust you. You are my everything."

Fuck. Everything she had just said, was exactly how I felt about her. I just... I had no words.

Neither did Bella it seemed, as she leant in and kissed me again, this time a little harder, her lips almost hungry against my own. Her fingers dove into my hair, scratching my scalp in what I can only describe as a good kind of pain. Her tongue licked my lips, before pushing past them into my mouth, and beginning an aggressive duel with my own. She tasted like heaven. So sweet. When she pulled back to give us both air, her lips remained attached as she kissed along my jaw before sucking on my ear. I could feel her chest heaving against my own.

When I felt her tugging on my shirt, trying to pull it up my torso, I wasn't stupid enough to not know what she was wanting. I had denied her once before when we were in Forks, and for good reason too. I wasn't about to deny her again, but I couldn't happily continue until I knew she was wanting this for no other reason than she was ready, and not just as a reaction to our declarations.

"Baby... are you... are you sure?" I breathed between kisses.

"Y...yes... more than anything." She stuttered as I manoeuvred us so I was kissing just below her ear.

That was all I needed to hear, before I leant forward and helped her remove my t shirt the rest of the way. Her hands immediately ran down my chest, as though she was reacquainting herself with every inch of my skin.

I kissed along her jaw, back toward her mouth and my fingers played with the hem of her t shirt, trying to give her fair warning that any moment it was going to be removed. It seemed however, she didn't need any warning, as she lifted her arms I the air, and waited for me to remove it for her.

God I almost came in my pants, just by seeing her sitting there, her perfectly pert tits, just waiting for me to lavish attention on them. In a moment I can only imagine was through pure self-consciousness, Bella covered herself with her arms, a pink tinge appearing on her cheeks.

"You're beautiful," I told her softly, as I pulled her arms away. "Don't hide from me." I leant up and gave her a soft kiss.

Sitting up straighter, I deepened the kiss, our velvet tongues stroking each other as I continued moving us, so that Bella was laid on her back, her head at the foot of the bed. I hovered above her, feeling her heated skin press against my own. I linked our fingers, holding them beside her head, as I painfully slowly kissed down her chin toward her chest.

"You're exquisite." I whispered against her skin, seeing her shiver, and I was pretty sure it wasn't because she was cold.

I licked and nibbled my way down her chest, before diverting to her left breast, sucking the little pert nipple into my mouth, rolling my tongue around the little pebble, before pulling back just enough to blow on it, loving how it pebbled even more, hard enough I'd say to cut glass. Bella purred beneath me... yeah that's right, she fucking purred. Feeling pretty much like a God at this moment in time, I moved over to give her right breast the same attention, before making my way back to her plump lips.

By this point, I was like steel, I couldn't ever remember a time I had been this hard, and it was all for the Goddess laid beneath me. I ground myself against her slightly, wanting to show her exactly how much I wanted her, how much I desired her. Her response, I can't honestly say I was expecting, but Christ, her hips rose to match my own, her hot centre rolling over the bulge in my pants.

"Fuck Baby." I hissed.

"I love you." She whispered, her tiny little fingers, hooking into the waistband of my pants and began pushing them over my hips.

"I love _you_." I replied, capturing her lips into a searing kiss, as I helped her lower my pants as far as we both could reach before I kicked them off.

Her hand slowly trailed down my chest and stomach before she wrapped her hand around my dick. Jesus she felt like perfection wrapped around me, Her grip was amazing, as she rolled her thumb over the tip, spreading the pre-cum that had settled there. I felt like I had died and gone to heaven. I let her concentrate on my dick as I began shredding her out of her panties.

Once we were both completely naked, I gave her bruised lips one final kiss, before I crawled down her body, leaving a trail of wet kisses, my hands palming a breast each, thumbs and forefingers teasing her nipples causing her to shudder.

I wanted to do this slowly, but the moment I saw her glistening centre, and smelt her sweet pussy, I dove in like a starving man. Using the flat of my tongue, I lapped up the juices that had already escaped, moaning when the taste of pure Bella took over my senses. Using the tip of my tongue, I flicked her clit, smirking at the moans of pleasure emitting from Bella, and the roll of her hips as she tried to gain further friction to her hot centre.

"More Edward." She panted.

What my girl wanted, my girl was going to get.

I slowly pushed my middle finger into her, and God was she tight. There was barely enough room for my finger. She was hot and wet, and I couldn't wait to feel her around me. The thought alone was enough to make me want to cum. I kept flicking her clit with my tongue as my finger eased in and out of her. Her fingers gripping in my hair, almost pulling me even further into her. She was sucking in air, her skin flushed with pleasure. After a few minutes, I inserted another finger, feeling her stretch around me, though still incredibly tight. She was getting close to the brink. I could feel her inner muscles tightening. I just had to decide whether I wanted to make her cum without being in her first. Hearing her mewl at my movements, my decision was pretty clear. I was going to being as much pleasure as possible to my girl, and I'd be damned if she was only going to cum once.

I sped my movements up, sucking her swollen bud into my mouth, my fingers sliding in and out of her faster, as I let free hand hold onto her hips, trying to keep them as still as possible, in a movement of torture.

"Fuck... Ung... Shit..." Yeah, I think it was safe to say she was pretty close.

In my torture, I slowed down slightly, wanting to draw her orgasm out as long as possible. She noticed immediately, her hips rising, searching for friction, searching for the edge of the cliff so to speak. When she whimpered, I took that as a sign that she couldn't wait much longer, and my fingers moved furiously inside her, my tongue lapping away, ready and waiting to drink her juices.

"Shit... Shit... Shit... FUCK." She practically screamed, as the tidal wave of pleasure washed over her.

She writhed beneath me, her hips rocking against my fingers, as I lapped every drop of her nectar up. Her walls were contracting around my fingers, squeezing tightly. If I didn't know any better, I'd say that there would be noway I was going to fit in there. But in reality, I couldn't wait. Well apart from that slight bit of apprehension. Maybe it was a good thing I'd already made her cum, because I wasn't so sure I wasn't going to cum the second I entered her, like a pubescent teenager. I just hoped she could forgive me if I did.

"Delicious Baby." I mumbled against her clit, as she started coming down from her orgasmic high.

When I was sure I had drank every last drop of her offering, I lay one final kiss on her centre, before kissing my way back up to her jaw, before raining her with playful kisses, along her jaw, her collarbone, her eyes, nose, under her ears, before finally kissing those gorgeous lips of hers. She giggled through my kisses, her hands having made their way immediately to my throbbing cock, lavishing it with soft strokes, as I focused on her.

She pushed on my shoulders, steering me to lay on my back, as she crawled on top of me. I knew what she was going to do. God I wanted it, I wanted badly to feel her lips around me, to feel her tongue tasting me, but at the same time, I didn't want her to do that to me, for me. I wanted this to be about her.

"Shh. I want to." She whispered against my lips, when I opened my mouth to protest.

Jesus this woman was sent straight from heaven.

She kissed me lazily, her tongue stroking languidly against mine, tasting herself on my tongue. Her hands continued to stroke me, and as much as I wanted to concentrate on not cumming too early, I was just too lost in her.

She kissed her way down my chest periodically looking up at me through her long lashes, a hint of smile playing on her lips. Damn she certainly knew what she was doing to me. Her hand was still stroking me, and damn if it wasn't one of the best feelings in the world. My whole body felt like it was on fire, just from her touch.

I leant back into the pillow, my eyes closing as my senses went into overdrive, feeling every little movement she made, every touch, her breath gliding over my body. And then, then, her lips reached the promise land. Feeling her plant a kiss on the tip of my dick, my whole body jerked in response, my dick twitching in appreciation.

"Fuck baby." I hissed.

I couldn't focus on anything other than her mouth, and the wicked things she was doing to me. She was still holding me, but her tongue had painfully slowly licked the underside of my dick, from base to tip. It was like this girl had read the manual on how to make me come without barely doing a thing. Within seconds, she had me in her mouth, sucking on me, her tongue swizzling around my tip. Her head began bobbing up and down, as she swallowed, and licked, at me, bringing me to the brink of insanity. Her hair draped over her shoulder, covering her face. For no other reason than needing to see her face, I pushed her hair back over her shoulder, leaving me hand resting gently on her head, my fingers gripping her hair. I was determined that she wasn't going to make me cum. No that pleasure would be for when I was in her.

Her mouth was like a gift from both heaven and hell. She was like a torture device, in the best possible sense. I had always wanted to give her the world, but now, I was ready to give her the whole universe. All she had to do was ask. I was completely and utterly under her spell.

I could feel the tightening in my stomach, and I knew I had to stop her. There was no way, that I was going to allow myself to cum because of a blow job on our first time together. I was still annoyed with myself for allowing her to continue when I really should have been worshipping her. I had wanted this night, and our first time together, to be about her, to show her how much I loved her.

"Baby... Baby." I moaned, struggling to make myself be coherent. "St... Stop." I ground out.

I hadn't realized due to my utmost focus on being not shooting my load right then, that my words had been anything but encouraging. Bella pulled away, sitting back on her heels, her head bowed, as her gaze fell onto the bed spread.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean... I mean, I know... Just never really done... before." She mumbled.

Fuck she thought I was telling her to stop because she hadn't been doing a good job. And more than that, I got the feeling she was admitting to the fact she hadn't given that many blow jobs before. And here I was, making her feel that she was doing anything but a fucking amazing job. If she had any idea how easily she made me feel unhinged.

"No... Baby..." I sat up, reaching for her hand. "I just... You had me... on the brink." I tried to tell her. "Fuck Baby. You only have to touch me and I wanna cum. But I didn't want our first time... to be that." I wasn't sure how much sense I was making.

"Oh." She replied.

"FYI Baby, you were amazing." I leant forward, capturing her lips in a heated kiss.

I pulled her so her chest was back, pressed against my own, as I lowered us to the mattress gently, before slowly rolling us so she was beneath me, our lips remaining locked throughout. I felt Bella's legs wrap around my hips, her heated core pressing against my stomach. Fuck, she was going to kill me.

Without thinking, I reached over and opened the drawer to my night stand, retrieving the little silver foil packet that was nestled in there. I was just about to tear it open with my teeth, when Bella took it from me, and tossed it out of reach over the edge of the bed.

"I think it's safe to say I'm clean," She chuckled nervously.

It took me a few moments to register her words, and what she was meaning before I managed to nod in response.

"I am too.. but."

"And I'm pretty sure you can't get pregnant when you already are..."

Fuck. I'm so stupid. Of course she was safe.

"Are you sure?" I had to check. "I mean I know you can't but..." I added as a second thought, so she wouldn't think I was completely dumb.

"I wanna feel you." She whispered. "I trust you."

And that was all she really needed to say. I was just... there were no words to explain how I felt, that she trusted me, that she wanted me. I don't think I've ever loved anyone as deeply as I loved her.

I kissed her softly, as I lined myself up at her entrance. My mind screaming at me to be gentle, remembering she had only ever been with a guy in high school, and James, which would mean it had been a while for her. I wasn't sure how much it would hurt her, but I was determined that it would be as minimal as possible.

I pushed into her, as slowly as I dared. It was practically killing me, feeling how hot, wet and tight she was. I gazed at her, watching her face for any signs of discomfort or pain. I edged further, still seeing nothing, though her breathing hitched slightly, but I put that down to her adjusting to having me entering her.

"Fuck, Baby... So tight." I groaned.

Tight was an understatement. Shit, it was like a vice gripping me, hot and literally dripping with desire for me. I doubt I have ever felt as turned on in my whole life. I was dying to just plough into her, bring us both to a quick release. I was desperate for it, like a dying man in the middle of the desert. But as much as I wanted to just get there, and knew that this was probably going to be the shortest sex we would ever have, I wasn't going to stop trying to prolong it, to meet her needs. As much as I needed my own release, I would forgo it, so long as it was everything she needed and more.

After what felt like hours, I had finally inched my way fully into her. We were both panting with exertion, Bella's skin was glistening with perspiration, but her eyes were locked with my own, full of desire, want and dare I say even love.

It was killing me to stay still in her, but I had to be sure she was ready. I would wait for as long as it took, even if it killed me.

"You can move... I'm good." Bella panted out, reaching up to kiss me soundly on the lips.

She began to pull back, but I pressed my own lips harder against hers, as I pulled out nearly all the way before pushing steadily back in. Even when we had to pull apart for air, I allowed my head to drop onto her shoulder so I could breath her in. That sweet scent that was a mixture of strawberries and pure Bella.

Bella's hips moved in sync with my own long steady strokes. I could feel her walls clamping around me tighter with each pass. Her juices coating my dick only fuelled the fire burning within me.

"Mm, so good." Bella hummed beneath me.

Her legs were wrapped firmly around my hips, her heels digging into my ass, as she spurred me on. Our skin slid against each other, creating that glorious slapping noise as we pressed against each other.

I could feel that ever familiar tightening beginning. I was caught between now wanting my release badly, to wishing it wouldn't come. Just being with her, being joined like this, was more than enough. As far as I was concerned, it was no longer about the release, it was all about just being with her, like this. In our Edward and Bella bubble. I didn't want this moment to ever end, but I knew it was inevitable. Bella's pussy was squeezing my dick tighter and tighter, I knew she could be no further from her release than I was. I suppose the one of the only good things about us both reaching our limits, was that we could do it all over again, once we had recuperated.

"Shit... Edward, so... ungh... so close." Bella whimpered, but it came out more as a pant.

My girl wasn't lying. Her pussy was starting to milk me for all I was worth. Her hips were starting to jerk every other stroke. I couldn't deny how close I was either. I was about ready to explode, but I had to make her cum first.

Letting my hand drift between us, I used my thumb to press gently at first on her clit. She let out a little squeal as her hips jerked upwards. My thrusts became a little harder, a little faster. She was coming undone at the seams with every one. It was one of the most amazing things to watch. She was practically teetering on the edge when I pinched her clit between my thumb and forefinger.

"FUCK!" She screamed.

Her walls were like a vice around me, and all it took was two more thrusts before I followed her over the cliff, groaning out her name. Having barely any energy left, I allowed more of my weight than I wanted to rest on her, but when I made to roll off of her, she held onto my tightly, breathing into the base of my neck.

When I had recovered enough, I pushed up on my arms, allowing me the space to look at Bella properly. I was so concerned by the fact that I could have hurt her in any way. I was sure I hadn't been rough, but I also knew that I had also been caught up in the moment, and anything could have been possible. I guess I also wanted to know she had felt even remotely similar to myself. Call me insecure, but I had to know she was feeling as satisfied as I was.

"Are you ok?" I practically whispered, watching for her reaction.

"I... am... more... than... ok..." she told me between planting quick kisses to my lips.

The smile that was gracing her lips immediately caused a matching one to appear on my own face. I leant down and kissed her softly, before I pulled out of her, immediately hating not being able to feel her around me. I could only assume Bella felt the same considering she let out her own little groan.

"I'll be right back." I whispered, kissing her cheek as I clambered from the bed, to the en-suite.

I quickly cleaned myself up, before grabbing a damp clothe and wandering back to the bed. Bella went to grab the clothe form me, but I refused to give it to her, a small smirk playing on my lips. I gently ran the clothe down her stomach, before slowly cleaning her up, whilst planting small kisses everywhere on her face. When I was finished, I tossed the clothe on the floor beside the bed, and climbed under the sheet beside Bella, immediately scooping her up into my arms.

"To think all the time we've wasted dancing around our feelings for each other, when we could have been doing _that_ all along." Bella giggled after a moments silence.

"It was definitely worth the wait though." I replied, kissing beneath her ear.

Of course, I agreed with her. All those months we had both been feeling the same for each other, and we had both been completely oblivious to it, they were kind of wasted, when we could have been together. But at the same time, I kind of liked to think we may be a stronger couple now, after all we had been through. Maybe having gotten to know each other as really good friends was better than having possibly have jumped into a relationship with each other, especially given our unique circumstances.

"Thank you." She murmured after a few minutes.

"What for?" I asked, confused.

"For loving me."

"I didn't have a choice." I tightened my hold on her, believing my every word. "You're my everything." I concluded.

**Awww quite a bit of fluff with a side order of lemon there for you. So please, please, please review for me :D**

****PLEASE READ** This is going to be the last chapter for a while. I put my absolute heart and soul into the last chapter, and I got exactly one review. I don't expect millions, but getting one person telling me their thoughts isn't too encouraging. As of right now, my plan is to finish writing this for me, and maybe update it once it's complete. Thank you to those who do read it, and the few who have in the past reviewed :)**


	29. Update

Hey everyone.

First of all, my apologies if you thought this was a chapter update.

Secondly, I know I have been away from this story, for a while - ok a longggg while - but my reasons for leaving it, do unfortunately still stand. However, I have been writing, and have a few more chapters written.

So my current plan is, that I want to find a beta to help tidy the existing chapters up, maybe change a few things, and generally just make it better. So if you feel like you would like to help me with that, or know someone who would be willing and able to, please either get in touch with me, or let me know.

Also, if you are, or again know someone who can, do art work, I would LOVE some doing for this story. I just feel the pictures I have to go along with this story, could be far better. So again, please get in touch.

Anyway, thank you for taking the time out to read this, and again I apologise that this isn't a chapter, and to those faithful readers that are still with me, and any new ones that this update may have caught the attention of. Fingers crossed you will be seeing more updates soon.

xx Sarah xx


End file.
